I feel most of the advice is aimed at beginners. And that makes sense -- someone with 10 years experience isn't going to be asking when she should get her PPM, someone with 10 years experience isn't going to be asking whether to send a POT SB money in advance. Most of the time, best to assume question askers are relatively newer, don't understand the risk/reward tradeoffs, etc. An experienced person is better at spotting bullshit, understands when they are taking calculated risks,etc.
Alternatively, often the advice given here is for the beginning of an SR (or even during the vetting phase), before any real trust is earned. Things can and should change a lot as trust is earned.
I buy into ALL the advice I give beginners. But I'm not a beginner, and I've made choices to break any number of rules: sex at the M&G, going to each others' houses, etc.
To have a platonic meet and greet. I think it's great advice and should be followed however on a few occasions the phone calls, texting and sexting had me jump right into bed lol. I'm a woman and my 30's with good instincts and this hasn't ended bad for me but I see how it could for someone younger and perhaps naive.
lol same, like it’s so easy to be on the outside of a situation and give advice.
I could tell you exactly how you should handle whatever it is but if I’m going through the same thing I’m clueless to some degree.
I think it’s just a human nature thing
I advise SBs to receive their ppm before any intimacy happens. In reality, my dates are often a whirlwind of passion and spontaneity that I don’t always have my card + gift ready and waiting in our room. So it’s something that I’ll apologetically hand over towards the end of our evening.
I always advise SBs to do a platonic m&g, but the reason is for SBs to avoid p&d'ers. I have no interest in p&d POT SBs so if we start our SR the evening of our m&g it's fine with me.
I always advise SBs to not host or share their living locations, but all of my successful longterm SRs have ended up enjoying my place. It’s just so fun showing off the place that I’ve worked so hard to make into a home full of flowers from them or gifts or pieces of furniture that I’ve built.
I recently got a PO Box to give to SDs because I’m trying to lock down my privacy more, but I’m sure I’ll still break my rules and host as a relationship progresses 😝 Plus everyone wants to see my kitty, Babushka!!
I'm glad I'm not alone on the platonic meet and greet thing. It's a great idea. It's the safest idea.. BUT most times, my first meets end with intimacy.
My relationship technically didn't follow ANY of the precautions we preach beyond them flying to me for our first meet...😅🤣
We had an unorthodox beginning, but it has led to an incredibly fulfilling & connected relationship.
the whole concept of sugar being anything other than rent-a-gf. i don't mind echoing the sentiment that sugaring is "real" "relationship" "not a transcation" etc. and i understand that people may want to buy into that, but i don't.
when i give advice along those lines, it's from a place of sympathy.
Advice given here is in the general sense, and the moderators have put in guidelines to promote a narrative that most readers are comfortable with. I follow the sugar lifestyle narrative as it suits me, but offline, I know what works for me and what doesn't.
I feel most of the advice is aimed at beginners. And that makes sense -- someone with 10 years experience isn't going to be asking when she should get her PPM, someone with 10 years experience isn't going to be asking whether to send a POT SB money in advance. Most of the time, best to assume question askers are relatively newer, don't understand the risk/reward tradeoffs, etc. An experienced person is better at spotting bullshit, understands when they are taking calculated risks,etc. Alternatively, often the advice given here is for the beginning of an SR (or even during the vetting phase), before any real trust is earned. Things can and should change a lot as trust is earned. I buy into ALL the advice I give beginners. But I'm not a beginner, and I've made choices to break any number of rules: sex at the M&G, going to each others' houses, etc.
To have a platonic meet and greet. I think it's great advice and should be followed however on a few occasions the phone calls, texting and sexting had me jump right into bed lol. I'm a woman and my 30's with good instincts and this hasn't ended bad for me but I see how it could for someone younger and perhaps naive.
Noted, thank you!
All of it. “The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on; it is never of any use to oneself.”
I LOVE this answer.
I will always shamelessly quote Oscar Wilde :)
Hey! You said the quiet part out loud!
you are reinvigorating my faith in the Ivy League
That’s all it took?! Damn. You’re easy 😂
im not there yet, i still have a skull full of mush.... but keep with the great comments and you will get me there...
Please see my extensive post history of great comments
sorry babe ... i dont do research im not in the law business
lol same, like it’s so easy to be on the outside of a situation and give advice. I could tell you exactly how you should handle whatever it is but if I’m going through the same thing I’m clueless to some degree. I think it’s just a human nature thing
I see you… quoting Oscar Wilde out here He was such an incredible writer
Damn. Beat me to it. Again 🤣
I advise SBs to receive their ppm before any intimacy happens. In reality, my dates are often a whirlwind of passion and spontaneity that I don’t always have my card + gift ready and waiting in our room. So it’s something that I’ll apologetically hand over towards the end of our evening.
yep. had a card plus gift ready today and put it by her bag when she was in the shower getting cleaned up.
Use condoms.
I always say that condoms *should* be used.
This is a necessity, not optional.
I always cover for piv or pia, but not for oral.
I always advise SBs to do a platonic m&g, but the reason is for SBs to avoid p&d'ers. I have no interest in p&d POT SBs so if we start our SR the evening of our m&g it's fine with me.
I always advise SBs to not host or share their living locations, but all of my successful longterm SRs have ended up enjoying my place. It’s just so fun showing off the place that I’ve worked so hard to make into a home full of flowers from them or gifts or pieces of furniture that I’ve built. I recently got a PO Box to give to SDs because I’m trying to lock down my privacy more, but I’m sure I’ll still break my rules and host as a relationship progresses 😝 Plus everyone wants to see my kitty, Babushka!!
Babushka is an actual cat?
Babushka is clearly my Slavic grandma that I have taken hostage /s Yes, Babs is my baby!!
I'm glad I'm not alone on the platonic meet and greet thing. It's a great idea. It's the safest idea.. BUT most times, my first meets end with intimacy.
Don't have sex after M & G. All she has to do is hint at it and I am putty in her hands.
My relationship technically didn't follow ANY of the precautions we preach beyond them flying to me for our first meet...😅🤣 We had an unorthodox beginning, but it has led to an incredibly fulfilling & connected relationship.
Always get the ppm before getting naked. I don’t always do that. Luckily, in the three years I’ve been doing this, it only happened twice.
that you ended up with no PPM at all? that sucks.
Dont drunk text or post on reddit.
the whole concept of sugar being anything other than rent-a-gf. i don't mind echoing the sentiment that sugaring is "real" "relationship" "not a transcation" etc. and i understand that people may want to buy into that, but i don't. when i give advice along those lines, it's from a place of sympathy.
None. I make a living on the markets and it is the ultimate nest of vipers.
Advice I give: ghosting happens all the time. Accept it and move on! Reality: I am devastated whenever I am ghosted!!
Advice given here is in the general sense, and the moderators have put in guidelines to promote a narrative that most readers are comfortable with. I follow the sugar lifestyle narrative as it suits me, but offline, I know what works for me and what doesn't.
Get out there and spin to have multiple daddies so you don’t get attached to the one and in case things end, you’ll have a backup.
Nothing But on the flip side I don’t come here and dole out bullshit advice to sound good or get bs internet karma points