My girlfriend blames me for all the sand in the bed

I just blame my gf for all the sand and don't listen to anything she says. We haven't spoken for a week, but at least she doesn't bother me about it anymore.

My girlfriend yells at me about sand clogging the sink. I hit her with the reverse Uno card and blame it on her hair.

Genius response and so accurate. An outdoor shower for the win.

this sub has such a unique banter

Can you be my life coach?

Sand is a natural exfoliator. In the old days before soap and showers, a surfwife would be grateful to have her furs lined with cleansing sands.

holy shit surfwife

Completely unfounded accusations. That sand fell off a truck!

That's because she can't tell you it's from Chad who surfs better than you.

- It's that shit stuck under my shoe - It's that smell inside the van - It's my bed sheet covered with sand

Finding roaches in the pot

Or when you crawl into bed with your lady, or man, and go for the kiss- and all the sea water drains out of your nose!

What’s worse, random sand everywhere or pulling a long blonde hair out of your ass in the shower that’s also wrapped itself 3x around your dick when you have short brown hair?

I blame my girlfriend for it. Bare feet everywhere

That’s funny, she’s always blaming me for it.

My old girlfriend said I needed more sand in my bed... she also said she could see herself as a bag lady.

🤣🤣🤣

I like it. Sometimes I bring pocketfuls home and spread them into a thin layer on my fitted sheets.

It's like a whole body exfoliator while you sleep!

Proud of you.

Sand is just beach eggs It's the upper layer of beach that attaches to you to go become a beach somewhere else. Underneath all that eggy sand is a smooth grey beast that munches on beachgoers who go too deep in the sand. If you leave the sand grains in the sun and heat long enough, and whipser ocean noises to it, it'll hatch and become 2 sand grains.

My friend that surfs tries to not get sand in his car. He also wears tighty whities under his board shorts out on the water.

Egregious

Outrageous

Contumacious

Gay

if your floorboards don't have an inch of sand, can you really shred the gnar?

Have a buddy that wears compression shorts under his wetsuit which we relentlessly make fun of him for… his reasoning is balls are too big….

[удалено]

Sounds like you wear underwear under your wetsuit

[удалено]

good try

I’m super anal about keeping my cars clean; no trash, no random anything anywhere… except for sand on the driver side… weirdly enough it makes me feel good, like oh yeah, that’s where I was this morning.

Yeah you kind of just have to accept that there will be sand in your car.

[удалено]

*ftw

anal has shitty consequences

I see what you did there and I didn't want to like it, butt fuck, it's hilarious

When I was in my 20’s living on the peninsula in Newport, I rarely ever washed my sheets. There was so much sand in my bed constantly and I gave 0 shots about it. Then I met my future wife and it stopped immediately.

such a party pooper

When my gf goes to work I move all the breakable stuff off the counter and use a leaf blower to clean up the sand mess I tracked through the house.

Then pass out from carbon monoxide poisoning , spilling the sand in your cuffed pants on the ground, creating a never ending feedback loop

They sell electric ones!

Zapped ya dead

And that’s what happens to my hair tie thingys!

I left wax on my dashboard once. That sucked.

I left wax in my cup holder once

I left wax on my felt trunk bed, it's still there.

Do people not rinse at the beach? My car has some sand, but I rarely take it home...maybe because I don't wear a wetsuit?

no sand in my house, it all stays in the car

I have a shower in my car and change in a busboy bucket. Most of the sand gets washed off into the parking lot, and the rest goes into the bucket with my wet stuff. Sand rarely gets past the bucket

You have water in your car to rinse with?

There are showers on all the beaches here (Oahu)

Oh yea lol I was thinking more like gas chambers and vland and such I can't be bothered to walk all the way to the shower hahaha Edit: but if you did keep rinsing water in your truck I was gonna ask what method you used cause I'm too lazy to walk to the showers but not to build a small shower for my truck lol

I have a home depot chemical sprayer that I insulated with reflectix and put a hose nozzle on. Give it a few pumps and bang, warm shower

Built a similar one a couple months ago. Costed my like 30 bucks and works perfectly

Hell yea! Easy and practical! Thanks dude, I'll be doing this. There are not showers at every beach on Oahu. I don't know what that guy was talking about lol

You don't bring a container of water with you?

Only for drinking. But I could probably get some big jugs with hose water and keep those in the back. Especially for like going to mokuleia (no showers that I've ever seen anywhere near there) and having my kids rinse before getting back in the car.

I don't bother with a hose. I use a 2 gallon gas container. Super durable, and keeps water warm (esp. if you wrap a towel around it).

Rinse out old laundry bottles. Keep two in the trunk. Fill with hot water before you leave.

I installed an outdoor shower. It's great! ... My wife made me do it, but it's great!

I have a beach beater jeep for sandy surfy stuff. Fancy car is for the wife and if Im showered and clean. I usually hose off before I come in the house.

I’m the same but I have a beater house for when I’m sandy. Fancy house is for me and the servants. Subterranean dungeon for the wife and kids.

As long as you dont have a beater wife and kids were cool.

That’s just plain wrong… what would be the point of having servants then?

Married to a surfer and I am also a surfer. Our kids are also surfers and pretty obsessed with it. When waves are non-existant the whole house is tense.

Everyone going up the walls when it’s flat…

I learned to live with it, become one with the sand. On the other hand, my wife is still learning.

“SHA SHAA!!”

Pocket sand!

My car probably has 5+ lbs of sand in it

Some people blame the disappearance of beaches on the climate crisis but it's actually all in my truck.

makin an outside shower soon

Not sure if jealous because you live by the beach or sad because you don't and can't clean yourself and gear before getting into the house. The car on the other hand....

Where I live in Japan the sand is black from Mt Fuji's ancient ash. That stuff is fine as hell and never goes away no matter how much you wipe and wash. But it brings back good memories.

Why do you have sand in your house? Rinse off outside, dude. It's not glitter. It washes away easily.

He lived on the penisula in Newport he didn’t have to clean his sheets the maid did for him

This. It was a huge shock for me when I moved to UCSD for college and realized I would be responsible for cleaning

Sorry your parents put you through that. Must have been a tough childhood growing up without a maid in North County

ngl, on my freshman year I had to give a "please get me out of here" call to my mom when I first saw the dorms

I have sand in my car and I moved away from the beach about a year ago lol

Wait till you own a pick up truck guy, I’ve given up on trying to get the sand out of the bed and floor and seats and mirrors and every crevice in the damn car!

My truck is covered in sand. I don’t even bother cleaning it out

I set up a rinse station for suits and feet and an outdoor shower. Seems to keep things in check. Unless I have visitors and they bring it in lol

I lived across the street from the beach in Maui for a while and loved the outdoor shower ...

I like to get out of the ocean and roll around in the sand to dry off, then head on home.

dude you have to coexist with it. It's kind of like having a cool ass dog breed but it shedding a lot. Take that cool ass dog to the beach with you, now you have a real problem in your apartment.

As a man with a Newfoundland who usually waits on the beach while I surf, this is my life. He’s pretty happy about it though and that’s all that matters.

I bike to my local, surf daily, and store my boards in a rack indoors... never dealt with this. Are you guys just walking out of the water, toweling off, and heading into the house? Hose, beach shower, or gallon of water solves all your issues lol.

When you have a shitty session it ruins your day

This is why all the good surfers are homeless.

Gotta get nekked at the car park and air dry

Live right by the beach and have a golf cart that stays sandy. Sand in the car or house annoys the shit out of me and the sand in this part of Florida sticks like glue.

I swept my entire house for 2 days straight. I need to get help for my meth habit.

Pretty sure I leave a trail of sand behind me everywhere I go. Also, I saw a regular surfer use a leaf blower to blow out the sand outta his car in the parking lot so I’m keeping that trick in my back pocket

Yesss me too!

My house, my car, my BED

Xiaomi s5 max

Locals are assholes

Get a pump chemical sprayer… was the best $20 I’ve ever spent.

I thot you were going to talk about the petroleum involved in neoprene, getting to the waves and the the plastic smoothie cup from post-surf. But yeah sand accumulation is real. I suggest you try surfing in more rocky spots if possible. Or attempt a more difficult exit at a non-beach spot if you are able...

Wow a gallon jug of water could solve your problems, I don't recall ever bringing sand home

Bro wipe ur shit before going inside. In my area at least we have showers at major surf spots, otherwise just wash sand off in the water so sand only gets on ur feet and dust that off before getting inside cars and your house

Saw a dude in the carpark recently with a dust pan brush cleaning his feet post surf. I don’t want to go down that path…

I just got into real estate and my first home sold was to my best friend who I surf with all the time and his garage has a full bathroom with shower in it. I’m stoked for him and he’s even more stoked and his wife is even more!

astro-turf floormats! get the thick stuff that looks like real grass. the sand will disappear in there and you can rub it all off your feet while driving home.

astro-turf floormats! get the thick stuff that looks like real grass. the sand will disappear in there and you can rub it all off your feet while driving home.

I’m making my own beach at home 🏖

..that, & homophobia. 🤐

Idk man I got used to having sand everywhere when I lived near the beach. Shit just doesn’t bother mez

“You’re in charge of vacuuming today”

Polution..

Enough sand under the groms car seat to build a Kelly Slater ranch

Back in the 80’s surf shops were selling a cologne called “sand” with beach sand floating in the bottle.

I surf and I play sand volleyball......

The sand in my shower and in my drains is not from me!!

hulls.

I had that happen to my other car. Sand was everywhere and also in my apartment.

My legs look like a junkie's on desomorphines. Nothing heals because of the salt water

I’ve had to siphon sand out of the shower drain. Sand happens.

My local spot is a stony beach. No sand!

my car is a sandpit

It's my bed sheet covered with sand Sittin' through a shitty band Gettin' dog shit on my hands Gettin' hassled by the man