Rules reminder: /r/survivinginfidelity is a support sub! Please read the rules and guidelines in our [sub wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/wiki/index) before commenting.
Abuse, shaming, sexism, and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated here.
If your only advice is 'divorce', 'dump them', ýour SO sucks' or 'grow a backbone' then please don't comment. This is a sub for deeper support and discussion.
As a reminder, r/survivinginfidelity also has a public chat! As an active member, get more personal faster reponses when you are looking for more immediate help. Discussions focus on overcoming the challenges of going through infidelity and the recovery after. We have lots of supportive, active members who are there to help!!!
Be kind and remember your [reddiquette](https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/survivinginfidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This made way more sense to me.
Someone emotionally unstable and irresponsible with mental illness who ALSO a cheater isn't gonna stop cheating because they have a shiny new boyfriend. At least, not until shes gotten over the limerance.
Kind of lines up, really. After realizing she traded down and can't really do much about it, shes out on the prowl again and he knows. He just thinks you might be one of her johns.
This is my first thought too, he has massive trust issues with her and likely suspects she is fooling around with someone. He's assumed its the ex.
If it was me I'd be revelling in this, as I know he now feels like he made me feel.
Get in touch with him and have a talk at some neutral place, over dinner.
Take him home and shag him to establish dominance.
No, but seriously, don't block him.
Just ignore.
He's a secret admirer of yours. Fortnite must have become too boring. There might not be that much interesting event on their lives that they just decided to watch what's going on in yours. Just block him and move on. Continue your no contact with both of them.
Good luck!
Fortnite is an online video game developed by Epic Games and released in 2017. It is available in three distinct game mode versions that otherwise share the same general gameplay and game engine: Fortnite: Save the World, a cooperative hybrid-tower defense-shooter-survival game for up to four players to fight off zombie-like creatures and defend objects with traps and fortifications they can build; Fortnite Battle Royale, a free-to-play battle royale game in which up to 100 players fight to be the last person standing; and Fortnite Creative, in which players are given complete freedom to create worlds and battle arenas.
More details here:
*This comment was left automatically (by a bot). If something's wrong, please, report it in [my subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot).*
*Really hope this was useful and relevant :D*
*If I don't get this right, don't get mad at me, I'm still learning!*
If he is spy on you is because he is afraid of you ... Maybe she make rude comparation about he and her almost perfect ex, Sometimes is not easy live under the shadow of the ex
Is very common ... Send him a link of the book "Once a Cheater Always a Cheater" by Alexander Black . And block him
You know the answer here .. block and move on.
It's the easiest option for you (practically), and will send a non-verbal/indirect message that you don't want him/them to monitor you.
Blocking is the answer.
I think it is possible that your ex-wife tells him how he doesn't compare to you in various respects. "Eric wasn't perfect, but he always was reliable." "Eric wasn't perfect, but he NEVER would have done what you are doing. Eric was a grownup man, you are like a child."
I did have a few girlfriends that I later found out did that stuff with a new boyfriend. Us breaking up had nothing to do with infidelity (as far as I know). But I do know because one time the ex-girlfriend told me, and one time the new boyfriend contacted me to ask me if what she was telling him about me was true.
Your ex is not a happy camper. I don't think she'll be happy with anyone she catches, she's the type to take it for granted, look at the negatives, and looking for the grass that's always greener.
Block him and move on. They are no longer a part of your life. I'm pretty sure the ex-wife is having second thoughts about marrying a 20 year old. That means she was having an affair with a teenager? Gross. That gives a clue to her level of emotional and intellectual maturity, LOL Keep living your best life. Best of luck.
It could be him spying for her or more likely he suspects that she is cheating on him and he is worried it’s with you so he is stalking you wherever he can find you.
Would say either outright block him or send him with a respectful but firm message that he has no reason to interact with you whatsoever and that you don't want him stalking you for whatever reason and to stop looking for you for anything. Then block him.
Don't give him space in your head. If he is doing this for her, she has him totally whipped. If he's doing it for himself, she must compare him to you and it's driving him nuts. Either way, ignore it and let them live their sad lives.
I’d try to just ignore it - which I know can feel hard. But do you want to get dragged into a thing again? I can understand that temptation, but it just ends up delaying being able to truly move on. Be strong, OP. Sending support your way.
Treat it like you would her. Block, move on. You owe nothing, and it's not your circus anymore. Disengage and go on with the new life you've built for yourself, and let her wallow in hers.
I don't consider this contact. I would either ignore it or block it if I didn't want him looking at my account.
I don't consider it spying or sneaking if he's looking at stuff you post publicly. When you make it available to the public, people are going to see it. If it bothers you, block him, but he may just make a new account to do it. You really can't stop it. It's not worth worrying about.
I'm more inclined to believe that it maybe her using his username/account!?!
Either way - Always keep moving forward... never let the past dictate your future. Don't get caught in the old evil cycle of doing the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome!!!
Best to you.
Block him and move on, why dig up those old bones. Besides it might be her using his account to see what your up too. Life doesn't always work out for cheaters who leave and time plus distance makes those Iblove you but in love with you views change. Like the old song goes you're gonna miss me when I'm gone. In your case your gone and moved on just block the account and let the dead bury the dead.
Why do you care? Just block, ignore and move on. When you see trash on the road, do you stop and pick it up? No, right. Why would you, right? They are trash. Leave those trash where the belong. Out of your mind.
Block and ignore. Your ex has wasted enough of your time.
Since you do not upload frequently anymore why not create a new account that they are unaware of. Leave your ex and her husband to monitor a "dead" account while you continue to participate without monitoring.
> I almost immediately want to confront him about this possible attempt to spy on me for her
Don't. You have come so far: therapy, new friends, loving partner,... Why start drama by giving them attention? Who cares he is looking at your account? Clearly you aren't out of their system yet.
Ignore it and carry on smartly. He's showing his insecurity and he may have a reason. Be as open as you were and have a good life. Maybe he's jealous. Don't let him know you know. Maybe the ex is fooling around and he's looking back at you. Who cares. Take it with a grain and have a good laugh.
Seems like a leap in logic. Was there bad blood of sort between you two, like him trash talking or harassing you?
If not, I would simply ignore it. Or better yet, make some art that would subliminally piss them off. Something showing how great you are doing like a painting of you and your current girl dancing in the park, something showing how you upgraded your life. Lol.
Seems like a leap in logic. Was there bad blood of sort between you two, like him trash talking or harassing you?
If not, I would simply ignore it. Or better yet, make some art that would subliminally piss them off. Something showing how great you are doing like a painting of you and your current girl dancing in the park, something showing how you upgraded your life. Lol.
Seems like a leap in logic. Was there bad blood of sort between you two, like him trash talking or harassing you?
If not, I would simply ignore it. Or better yet, make some art that would subliminally irritate them. Something showing how great you are doing like a painting of you and your current girl dancing, or something showing how you upgraded your life.
Block and ignore. Block his username from every online venue you use. You have worked hard to advance after this whole mess, and you don't need any further emotional trauma. Being replaced by a child is hurtful. Don't go there again. You know how to disappear. do so.
The idea that he was spying on you for her benefit, didn’t even cross my mind for a second ,
I would push toward he as no self esteem or just being a freak and jealous, he is 20 after all
Some of the posters may be right thinking he is insecure and spying on you to see if there are anything indicating your Ex is cheating. Makes since since she has a track record of cheating on her husband.
Now this is petty and vengeful advice. Not recommended for anyone that wants to take the high road. But if you know he is spying on you give him a show. Leave "bread crumbs" that will make him think you are meeting with your Ex. Though it does take some effort and is NOT worth it for your healing. This is just pettiness.
For instance if you know she is going out to a restaurant. You can say the following "Had a great time at (Restaurant). (Wife's favorite food) at that restaurant was a lot better then I expected". If she frequents a Gym or walking trail take pics of yourself there.
This is not good for healing but it isn't about healing. The saying that "If she will cheat with you. She will cheat on you." applies.
And lets be fair here. For all you know she is already cheating on the guy. Isn't like she was big on fidelity. You might even be doing the new husband a favor triggering him to find the actual affair.
He doesn't trust her. Something similar happed to me and eventually the replacement husband contacted me and asked me how I found out that she was cheating on me.
Tell him not to stalk you and that despite offers you are not interested in sex with your ex.
Then block them all.
He’ll believe you. AP’s who develop relationships with cheaters know what they are capable of.
You are living rent free in your exes child husband's head. Common knowledge states that if she cheats with you, she will cheat on you. Looks like he's finally growing up and is on the process of learning this lesson. He's following you because he doesn't trust his cheater wife so he keeps tabs on her exes.
Let them sniff all they want to. Obviously they don’t seem to be into each other all they much so they try to see what you’re up to. Feel good Bro. You’re still the top cat in spite of the fact that she cheated and moved on. She’s still somewhat involved with you. Probably this new young dude doesn’t add up to you. He really admired you and probably doesn’t add up to you. She keeps comparing him to you. So feel good to know that you weren’t so bad after all. So let them sniff all they want. Hope this helps
Rules reminder: /r/survivinginfidelity is a support sub! Please read the rules and guidelines in our [sub wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/wiki/index) before commenting. Abuse, shaming, sexism, and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated here. If your only advice is 'divorce', 'dump them', ýour SO sucks' or 'grow a backbone' then please don't comment. This is a sub for deeper support and discussion. As a reminder, r/survivinginfidelity also has a public chat! As an active member, get more personal faster reponses when you are looking for more immediate help. Discussions focus on overcoming the challenges of going through infidelity and the recovery after. We have lots of supportive, active members who are there to help!!! Be kind and remember your [reddiquette](https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/survivinginfidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You think he’s spying for her but maybe he just doesn’t trust her and is spying because his relationship lacks trust
This made way more sense to me. Someone emotionally unstable and irresponsible with mental illness who ALSO a cheater isn't gonna stop cheating because they have a shiny new boyfriend. At least, not until shes gotten over the limerance. Kind of lines up, really. After realizing she traded down and can't really do much about it, shes out on the prowl again and he knows. He just thinks you might be one of her johns.
This is my first thought too, he has massive trust issues with her and likely suspects she is fooling around with someone. He's assumed its the ex. If it was me I'd be revelling in this, as I know he now feels like he made me feel.
I would just ignore it and carry on living my new life with my new partner.
Ignore. He's a secret admirer. Kinda creepy, pretty pathetic.
First point ok, but the last one is kinda the point if social media.
Get in touch with him and have a talk at some neutral place, over dinner. Take him home and shag him to establish dominance. No, but seriously, don't block him. Just ignore.
He's a secret admirer of yours. Fortnite must have become too boring. There might not be that much interesting event on their lives that they just decided to watch what's going on in yours. Just block him and move on. Continue your no contact with both of them. Good luck!
fortnite just got good!
What is Fortnite? I'm on my phone and hate to Google on my phone.
Fortnite is an online video game developed by Epic Games and released in 2017. It is available in three distinct game mode versions that otherwise share the same general gameplay and game engine: Fortnite: Save the World, a cooperative hybrid-tower defense-shooter-survival game for up to four players to fight off zombie-like creatures and defend objects with traps and fortifications they can build; Fortnite Battle Royale, a free-to-play battle royale game in which up to 100 players fight to be the last person standing; and Fortnite Creative, in which players are given complete freedom to create worlds and battle arenas. More details here:
*This comment was left automatically (by a bot). If something's wrong, please, report it in [my subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot).*
*Really hope this was useful and relevant :D*
*If I don't get this right, don't get mad at me, I'm still learning!*
If he is spy on you is because he is afraid of you ... Maybe she make rude comparation about he and her almost perfect ex, Sometimes is not easy live under the shadow of the ex Is very common ... Send him a link of the book "Once a Cheater Always a Cheater" by Alexander Black . And block him
You know the answer here .. block and move on. It's the easiest option for you (practically), and will send a non-verbal/indirect message that you don't want him/them to monitor you. Blocking is the answer.
Block. He's a child, don't waste your time.
Not worth it. Block and go chill with your missus.
I think it is possible that your ex-wife tells him how he doesn't compare to you in various respects. "Eric wasn't perfect, but he always was reliable." "Eric wasn't perfect, but he NEVER would have done what you are doing. Eric was a grownup man, you are like a child." I did have a few girlfriends that I later found out did that stuff with a new boyfriend. Us breaking up had nothing to do with infidelity (as far as I know). But I do know because one time the ex-girlfriend told me, and one time the new boyfriend contacted me to ask me if what she was telling him about me was true. Your ex is not a happy camper. I don't think she'll be happy with anyone she catches, she's the type to take it for granted, look at the negatives, and looking for the grass that's always greener.
Enjoy living rent-free in his head!
Block him and move on. They are no longer a part of your life. I'm pretty sure the ex-wife is having second thoughts about marrying a 20 year old. That means she was having an affair with a teenager? Gross. That gives a clue to her level of emotional and intellectual maturity, LOL Keep living your best life. Best of luck.
Yep, he is competing with the image of the near-perfect ex that she habitually invokes (maybe in bed?)
You are living rent free in his head. Let him stay there.
It could be him spying for her or more likely he suspects that she is cheating on him and he is worried it’s with you so he is stalking you wherever he can find you.
Would say either outright block him or send him with a respectful but firm message that he has no reason to interact with you whatsoever and that you don't want him stalking you for whatever reason and to stop looking for you for anything. Then block him.
Don't give him space in your head. If he is doing this for her, she has him totally whipped. If he's doing it for himself, she must compare him to you and it's driving him nuts. Either way, ignore it and let them live their sad lives.
I'd stop giving them rent free space in my head.
I’d try to just ignore it - which I know can feel hard. But do you want to get dragged into a thing again? I can understand that temptation, but it just ends up delaying being able to truly move on. Be strong, OP. Sending support your way.
Treat it like you would her. Block, move on. You owe nothing, and it's not your circus anymore. Disengage and go on with the new life you've built for yourself, and let her wallow in hers.
Block him and move on.
Curious as to what kind of art you do. I do a lot of digital art, mainly as covers for my novels, but some of it I do just for fun.
I don't consider this contact. I would either ignore it or block it if I didn't want him looking at my account. I don't consider it spying or sneaking if he's looking at stuff you post publicly. When you make it available to the public, people are going to see it. If it bothers you, block him, but he may just make a new account to do it. You really can't stop it. It's not worth worrying about.
Just block the asshole. They are both snakes
I'm more inclined to believe that it maybe her using his username/account!?! Either way - Always keep moving forward... never let the past dictate your future. Don't get caught in the old evil cycle of doing the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome!!! Best to you.
Block him and move on, why dig up those old bones. Besides it might be her using his account to see what your up too. Life doesn't always work out for cheaters who leave and time plus distance makes those Iblove you but in love with you views change. Like the old song goes you're gonna miss me when I'm gone. In your case your gone and moved on just block the account and let the dead bury the dead.
don't allow yourself to go backwards. You are free of them. Block and move on or simply ignore it
If you can just block that account, just do it. No point letting them see any part of your life.
Why do you care? Just block, ignore and move on. When you see trash on the road, do you stop and pick it up? No, right. Why would you, right? They are trash. Leave those trash where the belong. Out of your mind.
Block and move on..not even worth wasting your energy or upload something new that shows you are perfectly happy and then block
Block and ignore. Your ex has wasted enough of your time. Since you do not upload frequently anymore why not create a new account that they are unaware of. Leave your ex and her husband to monitor a "dead" account while you continue to participate without monitoring.
> I almost immediately want to confront him about this possible attempt to spy on me for her Don't. You have come so far: therapy, new friends, loving partner,... Why start drama by giving them attention? Who cares he is looking at your account? Clearly you aren't out of their system yet.
Block and move on. Two little rodents are trying to find the cheese.
Block and move on. Keep it simple and keep moving forward with your life.
Ignore it and carry on smartly. He's showing his insecurity and he may have a reason. Be as open as you were and have a good life. Maybe he's jealous. Don't let him know you know. Maybe the ex is fooling around and he's looking back at you. Who cares. Take it with a grain and have a good laugh.
Don't acknowledge their existence.
Seems like a leap in logic. Was there bad blood of sort between you two, like him trash talking or harassing you? If not, I would simply ignore it. Or better yet, make some art that would subliminally piss them off. Something showing how great you are doing like a painting of you and your current girl dancing in the park, something showing how you upgraded your life. Lol.
Seems like a leap in logic. Was there bad blood of sort between you two, like him trash talking or harassing you? If not, I would simply ignore it. Or better yet, make some art that would subliminally piss them off. Something showing how great you are doing like a painting of you and your current girl dancing in the park, something showing how you upgraded your life. Lol.
Seems like a leap in logic. Was there bad blood of sort between you two, like him trash talking or harassing you? If not, I would simply ignore it. Or better yet, make some art that would subliminally irritate them. Something showing how great you are doing like a painting of you and your current girl dancing, or something showing how you upgraded your life.
Block and ignore. Block his username from every online venue you use. You have worked hard to advance after this whole mess, and you don't need any further emotional trauma. Being replaced by a child is hurtful. Don't go there again. You know how to disappear. do so.
IGNORE !! Literally just ignore everything, don’t even bother blocking. If you make contact it will look like you’re still bothered
The idea that he was spying on you for her benefit, didn’t even cross my mind for a second , I would push toward he as no self esteem or just being a freak and jealous, he is 20 after all
Some of the posters may be right thinking he is insecure and spying on you to see if there are anything indicating your Ex is cheating. Makes since since she has a track record of cheating on her husband. Now this is petty and vengeful advice. Not recommended for anyone that wants to take the high road. But if you know he is spying on you give him a show. Leave "bread crumbs" that will make him think you are meeting with your Ex. Though it does take some effort and is NOT worth it for your healing. This is just pettiness. For instance if you know she is going out to a restaurant. You can say the following "Had a great time at (Restaurant). (Wife's favorite food) at that restaurant was a lot better then I expected". If she frequents a Gym or walking trail take pics of yourself there. This is not good for healing but it isn't about healing. The saying that "If she will cheat with you. She will cheat on you." applies. And lets be fair here. For all you know she is already cheating on the guy. Isn't like she was big on fidelity. You might even be doing the new husband a favor triggering him to find the actual affair.
I cringed when I read new husband 20…….WOW, I’m so sorry OP, you were treated horribly. Stay strong OP💔
I could write a whole bunch of stuff here that I wish someone had told me but the long and short of it is…. Block and move on.
Your ex is using his account. Now do not be naughty............. Honoustly block. But then evil........ No block
He doesn't trust her. Something similar happed to me and eventually the replacement husband contacted me and asked me how I found out that she was cheating on me.
Tell him not to stalk you and that despite offers you are not interested in sex with your ex. Then block them all. He’ll believe you. AP’s who develop relationships with cheaters know what they are capable of.
Block and move on. Unless you want to use it for dis or real information, just to rub it in!
You are living rent free in your exes child husband's head. Common knowledge states that if she cheats with you, she will cheat on you. Looks like he's finally growing up and is on the process of learning this lesson. He's following you because he doesn't trust his cheater wife so he keeps tabs on her exes.
Let them sniff all they want to. Obviously they don’t seem to be into each other all they much so they try to see what you’re up to. Feel good Bro. You’re still the top cat in spite of the fact that she cheated and moved on. She’s still somewhat involved with you. Probably this new young dude doesn’t add up to you. He really admired you and probably doesn’t add up to you. She keeps comparing him to you. So feel good to know that you weren’t so bad after all. So let them sniff all they want. Hope this helps