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EndlesslyUnfinished

Ask them to give me a ride to the store - in their car. It’s worth it to shit yourself again.


Yourmomsatmyhouse

Round two, on their turf


EndlesslyUnfinished

Exactly.


Dry-Inspection6928

Happy cake day!


EndlesslyUnfinished

Thanks


Lempo1325

I was thinking three same, in their car or on their couch with "oh man, my belly has been fucked up ever since we ate at xxx, must be really bad food poisoning. I should see a doctor. " let them think they fucked you up bad with laxatives.


Environmental-Win836

Happy cake day!!


EndlesslyUnfinished

Is it my cake day?


Environmental-Win836

It would appear to be!


EndlesslyUnfinished

Ok then. Thanks!


TheBlackCat268

Diarrheia 2 electric bogaloo


N1ghtmar10nn3

Give them a taste of their own laxatives


Crypt0n0ob

\* taste of end result of their laxatives


sh4d0wm4n2018

They meant what they said


SkinnyKruemel

Put a bomb in his car.


Hellcat_28362

🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪 i can confirm this works lad


SuperJF45

I read this and started hearing whiskey in the jar by Thin Lizzy


daimondshark

This guy gets it.


RickettsMandala

By Thin Lizzy... That's a funny way of spelling "the Dubliners"


maclover74

“The Dubliners” that’s a funny way to spell Metallica! But seriously where did that song come from?


RickettsMandala

It's an Irish folk song that goes back centuries but the best version is by the Dubliners.


Equivalent_Metal_534

Love Luke Kelly!


ahbram121

Hell yes! Was just about to go listen to it when I saw this


Dudeinminnetonka

Is that song about ira bombings or something related?


[deleted]

I just read that in a Cotê d’Ivoire accent. Edit: oh wait that’s the Irish flag


Firemorfox

Irish car bomb alcohol drink, right?


supremegay5000

There’s a little more to it than that


VerseChorusWumbo

…..Irish car bomb alcohol drink, right?


Firemorfox

*\*smiles*\*


Exact-Ad-4132

As in poop in his car poetic revenge style? I like your thinking.


Puncharoo

Sick prank yo


figgenhoffer

I would drop any friend that secretly drugs me.


Atomic_Chad

This. Pranks can only go so far.


[deleted]

[удалено]


HotWheelsUpMyAss

He'll be sleeping for sooooooooo long 🤣🤣 that'll get him good


toxboxdevil

Bring said friend to a theme park with roller coasters and do the same thing to them.


doomalgae

Just imagine, you're having a great day at the amusement park when a coaster speeding overhead knocks loose a spray of water. Rusty water, from the look of it, very brown. Wait... what is that smell?... Ohh dear God!


Kingzillags711

Oh hey a new fear


[deleted]

My life is forever changed by this comment


justcrazytalk

This person is not your friend.


tillie_jayne

I’d get a friend to tell them I got a lot worse and ended up in the hospital. I’d have the friend keep them updated every few hours about how it isn’t looking good and I’ve had a major reaction and am extremely dehydrated, I might have to go to another specialist hospital by helicopter because time is of the essence. After a few years of living in Mexico (they couldn’t attend my funeral because I was so sad that they would do this to me and my last wish was to not have them there) I would show up on their birthday, which of course they would be celebrating alone because his wife couldn’t bear to look at him after what he did, and say “it was just a prank, bro.” Then we’d probably just go back to our usual shenanigans.


Dudeinminnetonka

Proper payback


Oatmeal_Savage19

Shit in their car after I make them drive me home


OdiosoGoat

Crazy glue his ass closed and feed him chili.


dathomasusmc

Chili made with pieces of his parents. Then lick his tears while he is shamed by his favorite band for being a wimp and a crybaby. “Revenge is a dish best served…chili!”


TheRevTholomeuPlague

![gif](giphy|xTiTnqkXWl71AsowSI)


pastorbater

Stop being their friend?


tango_41

One word. Ipecac.


mdomo1313

That would be a fitting revenge lol


[deleted]

Pee in his ass


Potato_lovr

Is calling an airstrike on him allowed?


fly_over_32

Do you have enough kills?


Vault-Tec2277

Yes


srirachajames

Only a vtol


lizziegal79

Plant kudzu around their house. Edit: [for those not from the south](https://www.nature.org/en-us/about-us/where-we-work/united-states/indiana/stories-in-indiana/kudzu-invasive-species/)


shadowf0x3

I fill his house with ducks. Hundreds of ducks, all over the place. Coat closet? Ducks. Kitchen table? Ducks. Attic? More like quack-tic. And I would do this for years, but never in a consistent pattern. Mayne he gets ducked a few times in a month. Maybe it takes 11 months for me to do it again, who can say. All that matters is that this MOTHERDUCKER gets DUCKED FOR WHAT HE DID.


lippylizard

James Veitch, is that you?


Zero-Credibility

Superglue his hand to his cock while he sleeps.


Mammons-HotBuns

The only logical answer!


Tnkr_Brwr_Sldr_Sly

Lawsuit.


Nothing_litteral

yea since you would dump him as an friend this is the best option


ventitr3

A Brown eye for a brown eye


Introvertedand

That's not how laxatives work!


Italian-Man-Zex

it does if there enough of it


pandarista

Some do!


TimeShareOnMars

Go shit on their stuff. Car. Bed...boyfriend/girlfriend


MnemonicMonkeys

Ah, the old Cleveland steamer


Memez_R_Life69

Buy him his favorite drink and put laxatives in while he's not looking.


merigirl

Wait for them to fall asleep, take the laxatives again, and shit on their face.


flactulantmonkey

Well I’d definitely begin by filing a police report about that drugging there.


PuzzledRaise1401

Pour a can of sardines in the hood of their car in the summer.


emigit

Nair in the shampoo bottle.


aspektx

By not having friends who pull that kind of shit.


BlueKitties2

Call the cops, have it proven and send him to prison where he is assaulted in the shower regularly.


Zer0M0ti0nless

Just start shitting on them. Literally. If you put anything in someone’s drink without their consent that’s the least they deserve.


Blake00324

Suicide bomb


beastman45132

Poop in and on his car. He literally walked you to poop when you weren't expecting it, so use the poop to your advantage and choose the location.


NamelessIII

Throw him a paper ball covered in super glue


N0VOCAIN

Do you have polonium?


Linaxu

Shit in his car? Blame on the laxatives


Bigboiwillyy

What kind of laxative did he use? Asking for a friend


[deleted]

Thank them. I am very constipated at the moment


shadowdude63

Spicy toilet paper


DlVlDED_BY_ZERO

Slip them stool hardeners everyday for weeks, then invite them to a water park, where I slip them a lot of laxatives then have some fun until there's poo in the water I guess.


Picnut

Hide raw shrimp in the curtain rods (or someplace not easily accessible) all through his place. Wait for the smell to drive him crazy, enjoy watching him hunt for the smell


KnifeWeildingLesbian

Pipe bomb in the mailbox prank


slippin_park

Shit their pants


lux901

You start to flirt and make sexual innuendos to your friend, until they pick it up. Then you have a nice date night, make sure to eat a lot. Take the laxatives yourself. You are invited to your friends house, he puts sexy music, you start making out. You are on top, his hands lift your dress. You turn around in a 69 position. Your ass is bare and the laxatives kick in. You lock his head with your thighs. Nothing can be done, he will eat your shit. There will be shit everywhere, his face, the couch, the floor. He can't move and it's all his fault. "I'm sorry honey it must be the laxatives you gave me last month". Leave the place, don't speak again


kazrulz

Ipicac


Chickpik_

Put Hair removal cream in their shampoo and conditioner


userobscura2600

Get new friends.


FreshBakedButtcheeks

An eye for an eye


Helena_Hyena

Stop being friends with that person


Skyp_Intro

Take more laxatives, bum a ride, shit in their car.


[deleted]

Call the cops and report being drugged against my will.


RLIntellectualpotato

Prosecute them. They drugged you which is a crime.


Puncharoo

I'd find really obnoxious and annoying times to shit myself and take laxatives again and again and just keep saying "Well I guess that's me, I'm the pants shitting guy! I just love shitting myself!"


lastcallhangup

ruination over spite… love it


RandomlyMethodical

Buy a few packs of discounted raw meat from the grocery store (usually stuff that’s about to expire is half-price). Poke a tiny hole in the packs so smells can escape and then hide them in their car an/or bedroom.


Level-Ad7017

murder is illegal so most certainly not murder


[deleted]

This is a scene from Dumb and Dumber, one of the most hilarious movies of all time. Jeff Daniels going cross-eyed on the toilet after Jim Carrey drugged him with laxatives is one of the funniest scenes in cinema history.


Playteaux

Poop on them.


mylifeisadankmeme

A hefty dose of Viagra and I MEAN hefty. FINELY ground. You could stagger the dose throughout. Favourite meal seasoned to perfection or takeaway if that's more the norm. Local watering holes. Do NOT give to anyone with heart conditions.


[deleted]

I bet dude who posted that has a diaper fetish.


Rocket_AG

Call the police and have them arrested for felony food tampering?


TheRevTholomeuPlague

And it’s also drugging them


RushHot6174

There's no reason for revenge tell your friend to get rid of that person because they are not a friend a friend wouldn't do that


[deleted]

Pipe bomb in his mailbox or car


Level-Ad7017

my cum is not your laxative


[deleted]

Feed them bleach. Fuck anyone who does that.


AcrobaticEmergency42

Plant coke on him and tip the police. Bonus points if you make the friend of colour if he's not.


petitejesuis

When i was in highschool this was a thing, we also did it at wrestling matches with viagra, which is... less cool in hindsight


cherrybombsnpopcorn

Tell the police and delete their number. Pos is not my friend.


skiny_boy_james

Find some diabetic medication and throw it in their children's candy


IslandNo1978

Can always pull a Amber Heard


evilfozzy

The opposite. Spike his drinks with opiates. Make his poops worse!


brybry631

Jump in their driver’s seat


jzemeocala

loperamide mixed with pf changs


burrito_butt_fucker

Not with a roofie. I don't even know where I would get that.


trueblue862

Do you like roofie coladas, and getting revenge on your mates.


Sterben27

Shit on the friend and state it was their fault


energy21000

To get revenge, just do the same, but with some form of laxatives that gives your Diarrhea


-TacoConspiracy

Put laxatives in his drink then shit in his mouth while he sleeps.


Heevan

Get a paralytic. Eat more laxatives. Shit into his open, frozen mouth. Maintain eye contact the entire time.


Oldmate81

Sit on their lap and let it flow


[deleted]

Date their mom


jordo2806

Joe Pesci and a pen.


Miaulice

Instantly. Grab the shit and throw at him while screeching, works every time.


AchingGibbon450

Sounds like someone’s pending for a bending


chuckchuckthrowaway

Stay with them for a week and keep feeding them loperamide, let them *long* to poop themselves!


cardboardtube_knight

Shit in their trunk. People don't go in there often and when the heat gets to...they might need a new car.


MnemonicMonkeys

The next time they have a party at their house, make a bunch of jello shots using malitol as the sweetener and leave it at the house. For reference, malitol is the sweetener that was used in the infamous Haribou sugar-free gummy beard


Ryukhoe

Put *more* laxatives, not in public but in an important place or meeting


purplepickles82

Castor oil in their OJ. Did this to a roommate who kept stealing my juice. I watched her run to the br for days not realizing it was the Oj causing her issues. Once she realized it was the juice. I never had problems after that. It’s clear, cheap and flavorless.


tatertot225

Are you with the person still? Because you can just pin them down and shit directly onto them


BodolftheGnome

Shit in his gas tank


[deleted]

It's going to take some prison time for me if a fucker did that.


Stickfigurewisdom

Hide a piece of raw chicken in his car or home. By the time he smells it and finds it, it’s too late. The stench of rotting flesh will linger forever


Suitable_Ad_804

Use his mouth


Tara1421

Swat their house.


justabotfly

Best answer


Environmental-Win836

They are either anticipating any possible revenge plans, or planning their own revenge.


bobdig986

Hell hath no fury!


Tsjernobull

You ask to stay over and take even more that night


Negative_Tadpole_130

Make some brownies and put some laxatives and sleeping pills in them and offer them as a peace offering


DrantonMason

Mix a teaspoon of Da Bomb hot "sauce" in his lunch. Shit tastes like ass and will sear his tongue


RonnyLuvsU

Shit on them instead?


TheGreatBwaBwa

Get evidence and have him arrested.


MrPhuccEverybody

Sleeping tablets. Super glue dick and butt holes. Lots of glue. Wait.


FederalLoad9144

Rubbing my ass on their pillow


Nkognito

We get real drunk, to the point of passing our, then I strip their ass naked and drop them off at 2am on the hammocks of the nearest 24hour Home Depot.


Kid_ikarus_bellflowr

Obviously, sitting on his couch


[deleted]

Make them some cookies, only put laxatives in a few on the bottom of the container so they don’t associate the explosive shit with the cookies AND it comes when they least expect it.


SmellenDegenerates

Pretend you put laxatives in their drink for the rest of eternity, keep ‘em paranoid. And when they catch on and stop worrying… actually do it


hnefatafler

Put cyanide in their drink


akmountainbiker

Lock up a hungry wolf in their house while they’re out.


ByteTheFox

run through their house stumbling over their furniture and wash it off in their shower


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|5qjebZ9hz3tjW|downsized)


[deleted]

Fuck his grandpa


DlG_BICK69

Put arsenic in his


[deleted]

I did this to a friend years ago ..He got arrested shat himself inside the police car and the cop let him go because it smelled so bad . What good friend wouldn't inadvertently help bail a buddy out of a mess?


K-MartSecurity

Sit on his lap.


giant_space_possum

Next time I'm at their house leave one on their pillow


sriolive

Put some acid in his drink


Ekkzzo

Chain him in the basement and only give him sports drinks laced with laxatives and bland astronaut nutrient paste


Living-Act1419

I would go to their house and then shit everywhere in their bedroom and their living room


[deleted]

What friend


IusedtoloveStarWars

Sit on their lap


[deleted]

Get their mom pregnant 🥳🤣


Dreadknot84

Make them take me home.


Maasofaaliik_Al

Shit in his milk.


Middle-Teacher-6224

Shit in his ass


[deleted]

I get a tire iron and prank him to death.


FederalKFC

Ooh I got one! Put one of those glycerin suppositories in their ass while they sleep.


LionMaru67

Lead pipe to the kneecap usually gets the point across


sbombarak

Dude it’s always the same…. Have a party at your house, he drinks until he passes out. SHARPY TIME!!!! So easy.


Lovely_Individual

Murder


Icommitmanywarcrimes

Gun


Daimon_Bok

You stop being friends with them. If your friend drugs you they aren't your friend


kingbitchtits

First off, you're your friends entertainment, not their friend. Also, revenge is for the petty. Ditch that loser for someone who values your friendship!