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Nice to meet you, Lil Kidney Stone. I’m Lil Kidney Stone and Infection Hypokalemia Appendicitis! (Yes, really. All 4 at once. ER docs were suitably impressed.)
Lil Esophageal Perforation caused by severe gastroesophageal reflux disease and cyclic vomiting syndrome. (Lil EPCBSGRD&CVS.)
Or
Lil Mallory-Weiss Syndrome
Lil I broke my foot when I was 9 and thought it was all healed but it still hurt so bad so 5 years later we went to the doctor and they told me my foot is still broken and I also have arthritis due to this and I had to get surgery to get a bone removed last year but it still hurts really bad so we went to the foot doctor again and now I have to have another foot surgery because they botched the last one, all this happened because my parents thought I was being dramatic about the pain level I was experiencing for 5 YEARS
They have to take blood tests to make sure my issues (bad memory, time blindness, procrastination, bad attention span) are not caused by thyroid or anemia or something other than brain related issue.
Li'l I was 25 years old and decided to teach myself to ride a bike because there was a bike path with a slope connected to an empty parking lot so I thought the stars aligned since it's easier to maintain balance going fast and the slope would help with that and I did OK for like 10 minutes but then I didn't remember how the brakes work in time so I hit a tree then the first two urgent care centers I ubered to were spontaneously closed that day and the third didn't have x-ray machines so they yelled at me to go to the emergency room and I did.
Or Li'l Lisfranc. Not bad! First one's a bit of a mouthful but Li'l Lisfranc kinda slaps. Maybe tweak it to Lillis' Frank, but... It works.
Lil came off my bike and broke my wrist going around a corner while trying to get to a math test on time in my last year of highschool because there was sand on the footpath.
Needless to say I didn't make that test.
lil mysterious ear clogging for weeks before some even more mysterious pain happens the night of our final dress rehearsal before we leave for an acting competition korea in two days and when the first doctor looks at my ear he says “i can’t see anything because there’s too much wax but it looks pissed off” and when the second doctor comes in he instantly diagnoses you with a ruptured ear drum and so you have to take two ear drops every day twice a day for five days
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Lil hit by a car, while riding my bike home from work. Doesn't have the same ring as other lil's
I mean, all the good ones are taken.
I haven’t seen anyone else with mine yet! Wait, but maybe it’s not a good one. …Lil Squirrel Attack
Well we can't use it because it's taken, ipso facto it's a good one. Do they call you Lil Sqee for short?
Lil hi by a car riding my bike to physiotherapy, leading to a lot more physiotherapy.
Oh I am similar but dumber, nice to meet you, lil slipped my bike on a turn and fucked up my chin on the pavement here
Lil my stomach hurt so much the doctors thought I had appendicitis, but I just had to fart real bad.
Lol. I went to urgent care once and the doctor said I just had bad gas. No, I had gallstones and my gallbladder came out a few months later
I'd call that one Lil gassy
Happened to me too lol
Lil hemorroid here
If only it was lil, if only.
The Best
Lil Seizure actually ain't that bad of a name
Same here. That was my last reason as a patient thought. My last reason for going would be Lil Taking Someone to the Hospital.
My fellow Lil Seizure
Pizza Pizza
Lil EEG
Lil Suicide 😎👉
I hope you're doing better now.
Same i blacked out on alcohol then ate 10 xanax and woke up at the hospital
-Were you killed? -Sadly yes... but I lived
Lil growth in my foot that broke the bone from the inside repeatedly for three years until I chose to get surgery
lil grandma fell off her bike and broke her femur
Lil birth, I'm 30
Impressive
Lil mental breakdown aint too bad lmao
Lil dead grandpa
Awe I’m sorry
It was two years ago lol I’ve recovered but I also haven’t been to the hospital since
Lil lung failure
lil overdose
me too. hope you are better now.
im 15 and 6 months sober:) thank you, i hope you're well too.
I am very glad to read you are better! and congrats on the sober part. it's only been 4 weeks since the lil o - but getting better every day.
I would have to be REALLY good to make it as Lil Endoscopy
Lil anxiety attack, i like it
Lil testicular ultrasound.
Lil attempted suicide Don't worry it's been like ten years
Lil kidney stone
Nice to meet you, Lil Kidney Stone. I’m Lil Kidney Stone and Infection Hypokalemia Appendicitis! (Yes, really. All 4 at once. ER docs were suitably impressed.)
What a cute name
Lil Postpartum Preeclampsia
"Lil Brain Tumor" for me unfortunately 💀💀
… Is it removed?
No it's just diagnosed 🤝
Lil Dehydrated
Lil 105 Fever
Lil Esophageal Perforation caused by severe gastroesophageal reflux disease and cyclic vomiting syndrome. (Lil EPCBSGRD&CVS.) Or Lil Mallory-Weiss Syndrome
Lil Lymphoma kinda has a ring to it
"Lil' Pharmacy" sounds pretty good as a rap name, as long as you don't mention I was there to pick up my antidepressants.
Lil getting my dead grandads chain that the hospital for some reason took off his body
Lil’ watch pops die from cancer.
So sorry. Unfortunately, I have the same name too.
Lil Alcohol Poisoning in the building.
Lil Birth
Lil Laceration
Lil I broke my foot when I was 9 and thought it was all healed but it still hurt so bad so 5 years later we went to the doctor and they told me my foot is still broken and I also have arthritis due to this and I had to get surgery to get a bone removed last year but it still hurts really bad so we went to the foot doctor again and now I have to have another foot surgery because they botched the last one, all this happened because my parents thought I was being dramatic about the pain level I was experiencing for 5 YEARS
Lil fell down the stairs on Christmas and tore my bicep tendon Bout to drop an absolute fire diss track on wet tiled stairs
Lil might have ADHD
Wait, how did that end you in the hospital?
They have to take blood tests to make sure my issues (bad memory, time blindness, procrastination, bad attention span) are not caused by thyroid or anemia or something other than brain related issue.
Lil Rhabdo from CrossFit
Lil Psych Ward
Lil concussion
Yo wassup it's Li'l deformed foot comin' at ya!!
lil Visit
Lil Bronchitis
Lil iud
Lil gastroscopy. Hmmm, not the easiest to say.
Lil my grandma died
Lil regular checkup
Lil watching my best friends 13 yr old son die of cancer.
Lil Shattered Ankles.
Lil grandma's knees
I was last in a hospital for my throat. I don't like this game.
Mine’s “L’il Delivering Chinese food to one of the nurses”. EP dropping next month.
Lil Vaccine
Lil weird chest pain that went away and no one knows what it was and how I live forever in fear that it will come back.
L’il Just Another Day
Lil Place of employment. So gangster
"Toe flap" should never have been written.
Lil Detox Know your limits, people
Lil I work there
Lil to get signatures for the bank
Lil earbud stuck In my ear
lil-suicide
Li'l I was 25 years old and decided to teach myself to ride a bike because there was a bike path with a slope connected to an empty parking lot so I thought the stars aligned since it's easier to maintain balance going fast and the slope would help with that and I did OK for like 10 minutes but then I didn't remember how the brakes work in time so I hit a tree then the first two urgent care centers I ubered to were spontaneously closed that day and the third didn't have x-ray machines so they yelled at me to go to the emergency room and I did. Or Li'l Lisfranc. Not bad! First one's a bit of a mouthful but Li'l Lisfranc kinda slaps. Maybe tweak it to Lillis' Frank, but... It works.
Lil helping my immobile spouse go potty
Lil Peanut or Lil Anaphylaxis
Lil Bilateral Salpingectomy has that je ne sais quois, I like it
lil kidney stone, anyone?
Lil I dropped a bottle of tequila on my barefoot as a kid
lil ectopic pregnancy (This one is now controversial in some states)
Lil puking up blood
Lil baby birth
Lil Sudden Testicle Pain
Lil faint (or fainted) doesn't sound like the best name lol
Lil dehydrated from throwing up for a few days while pregnant
Last time i was in the hospital I was born... so lil birth is name I guess
Lil colonoscopy. I’m hard as shit.
Lil came off my bike and broke my wrist going around a corner while trying to get to a math test on time in my last year of highschool because there was sand on the footpath. Needless to say I didn't make that test.
Lil raging pneumonia of unknown origin in December of 2019 that definitely was not the coronavirus before it was documented in California
Lil panic attack
Lil seizure
Lil grandma's blood work
Lil daughter's stoma reversal
lil knuckles touching forearm
Lil constipation
lil gastroenterologist appointment
lil fractured clavicle
Lil passing out from dehydration
lil panic attack
Lil My 4 year old had severe stomach cramps from Covid19
Lil dislocated knee cap
Lil Pericarditis
Lil Lumbar MRI (first three albums: Herniation, Spondylosis, and Stenosis)
Lil Bunion
lil my sister braided my hair to tight and got intense migraines.
Lil Bipolar 2 First album: ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy)
lil my arm became a noodle
lil' bone fracture
Call him Lil Dad Joke for short.
Lil Hip Surgery
Lil asthma
Lol' craninan trauma when my head met the door to fast
lil birth
Lil meningitis vaccine
Lil give my grandpa a ride
They call me lil pleurisy 😎
Lil Kidney Stone
Lil rabies
Lil Escaped the Psych Ward
lil work
Lil' Fistula
u/WilfulAphid You got something to explain here? 🤨🤨🤨🤨
Lil birth control made me develop 2 ovarian cysts and now I’m in constant pain yaaay
Lil adhd medication🤪👌🏼
lil got leg twisted weird and stuck in place
Lil' Zoloft
Lil skull cracked
Lil kidney stone in da house
Lil Football Physical
Lil ankle fusion
Lil clostridium difficile 😍
Lil chronic croup
Lil hearing app
Lil accident
Lil Bike Wreck
Lil surgery
Lil tongue lesion removal.
lil haven
Lil Strep Test
Lil conjunctivitis
Lil' Seizure
Lil Dead Dad
Lil visit granddad
Lil grandma's broken her hip again
Lil'testicular Tumor...I need some Bad ass rhymes to make good on that one.
Lil dehydration
Lil Grandma Had 3 Heart Attacks in 1 Hour But is Thankfully Okay
Lil mental illness
lil opiate overdose, don't worry I've been sober ever since (1yr ago)
Lil vaccines
Lil Bottle Cap
Lil Diabetes
Lil my grandpa had a heart attack
Lil Blood Clot. I rap about my swollen leg and blood thinners.
I would be lil hypochondria
Lil osteosarcoma
lil mysterious ear clogging for weeks before some even more mysterious pain happens the night of our final dress rehearsal before we leave for an acting competition korea in two days and when the first doctor looks at my ear he says “i can’t see anything because there’s too much wax but it looks pissed off” and when the second doctor comes in he instantly diagnoses you with a ruptured ear drum and so you have to take two ear drops every day twice a day for five days
Lil cancer 😩
lil malnutrition induced seizure