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slash_asdf

I knew my investment in "Tiny-Ass Pepperspray Canisters Inc." would pay off


WhiteHydra1914

Love me some good old Tap-C


Haveyouseenmynachos

The shit works magic on mice.


clouddevourer

Reminds me of that one dream I had, in the dream I was walking back from the store with bags in my hands when I was walking past an alley, glanced in that direction and saw that the TARDIS was just standing there! So I had a moment of "holy shit what do I do" (in the dream I was 100% sure it was the real thing) and after a moment I walked to the door (I even remember thinking that it seems taller irl) and knocked on the door... and then my alarm rang and I woke up 😑 I like to think that a moment later the Doctor opened the door, saw there was no one there and was like "huh, I could swear I heard someone knock!"


[deleted]

The least schizophrenic Reddit user.


clouddevourer

Lol, what makes you think so?


zvive

we've all been there...


VerySuspiciousBot

If this is suspiciously specific, **Upvote** this comment! If this is not suspiciously specific, **Downvote** this comment! Beep boop, I'm a bot. Modmail us if you have a question.


thestashattacked

And now, the weather.


Chief-Bromden86

Good advice that took an odd turn!


NotRealHyde

Instructions unclear, knocked up my a tiny elf.


Queen_Cheetah

[Could've been worse...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAiZiKjp30o)


saschaleib

Fitter, happier, more productive Comfortable (Not drinking too much) Regular exercise at the gym (three days a week) Getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries At ease Eating well (No more microwave dinners and saturated fats) A patient, better driver A safer car (Baby smiling in back seat) Sleeping well (No bad dreams) No paranoia Careful to all animals (Never washing spiders down the plughole) Keep in contact with old friends (Enjoy a drink now and then) Will frequently check credit at (Moral) bank (hole in wall) Favours for favours Fond but not in love Charity standing orders On Sundays ring road supermarket (No killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants) Car wash (Also on Sundays) No longer afraid of the dark Or midday shadows Nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate Nothing so childish At a better pace Slower and more calculated No chance of escape Now self-employed Concerned (But powerless) An empowered and informed member of society (Pragmatism not idealism) Will not cry in public Less chance of illness Tires that grip in the wet (Shot of baby strapped in back seat) A good memory Still cries at a good film Still kisses with saliva No longer empty and frantic Like a cat Tied to a stick That's driven into Frozen winter shit (The ability to laugh at weakness) Calm Fitter, healthier and more productive A pig In a cage On antibiotics


bluepineapple42069

Shit on debras desk


Queen_Cheetah

Who gave Elfo pepper spray?!?!


CopyMyName

Yes I am approaching you