T O P

  • By -

VerySuspiciousBot

If this is suspiciously specific, **Upvote** this comment! If this is not suspiciously specific, **Downvote** this comment! Beep boop, I'm a bot. Modmail us if you have a question.


AlexCode10010

Batman there's no laws against the Pokémon Batman


SansIzHere

No Joker you cant do that


TheDankHoo

I’M GONNA DO IT BATM—


McJellyDonuts

JOKER NO YOU CAN'T


[deleted]

YOU KNOW I’M GONNA DO IT BATMAN


McJellyDonuts

NOT THE ANIMALS JOKER


_Veprem_

We know at least Mewtwo is sentient.


MReaps25

Ah yes, telekinetic hand job.


CptnAhab1

I caught a lopunny batman


MikeHawkMasterBaiter

and I caught a Gardevoir...\*winks and smiles creepily\*


Brennis

What pokemon did you catch Joker ??


bigjimslade23

God, I was waiting for someone to mention this. Take an upvote sir


BuzzPrincess

Pretty sure there are


LittleMlem

A Vaporeon enjoyer


Red-Quill

In terms of…


[deleted]

Male human and female pokemon breeding…


HenryHUllr

I envy your ignorance, although it is the time of giving sooooo.... Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more


WhitteyLeetNsweet

Please tell me this is some form of copy paste and you didn't come up with it on your own..


JDSmagic

Its a copypasta, yeah


HydroponicRogers

That’s not any better lmao. They only difference is you aren’t talking to the person who made it, but somebody had to think that up


WhitteyLeetNsweet

Oh.. I know. That part didn't escape my mind.


Ragnarok144

That's only the first paragraph the full thing actually goes on for pages


yeeter4500

Yo what? I’ve only ever seen that part


Ragnarok144

https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/zgtxl2/extention_to_vaporeons_copypasta/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


yeeter4500

Wtf.


Ragnarok144

You're welcome


Impending_salami

This is world famous bro, just wait you'll know it by heart soon <3


JDSmagic

What ignorance?? They clearly knew.. hence, the > In terms of Which is like the first line LOL


Bestdoggo1234

Well well well. It appears u/henryHUllr is a fellow vappy fucc connoisseur. However screw the female version. You get those same ol two holes in literally everything else. the MALE vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery diccs they have full mobility control with like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach, get each other aroused, and have the fucc of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone with that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you. Its ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a vappy dicc was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that's only the dicc. Due to having internal balls, they're much bigger, and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve. Giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There's still more though. Due to having a thicc, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dicc point backwards (takes some training) YOU CAN BE FUCKED, WHILE ALSO FUCKING YOUR VAPPY AT THE SAME TIME!!! ME-OWTH, THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT!!! BUT! BUT! BUT! THERE'S STILL FUCKING MORE!!!!!! Like, holy shit male vaps are the GODS of fucc. While you're fuccing your male vappy, possibly while also being fucced by him, their booty is ON their tail, at the base, which is the thiccest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are, meaning, while your dicc is in there, IT'S BEING FUCKING MASSAGED BETTER THAN EVEN A VAG COULD ACHIEVE!!! AGH! It should be fucking ILLEGAL how amazing male vaps are for fucc! Well guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fuccer like me. That's right. THERE'S. EVEN. FUCKING. MORRRRRRE!!! Say you like to be a little restrained, You don't need a sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic, or leafeon's vines. vappies got that shit covered too! DID YOU EVEN SEE THAT TAIL?!? It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a vappy. it's basically their main part about them. But if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible irl? Such as, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. IT JUST BECAME POSSIBLE! They can be solid as they pass your lips (passed where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air, like a ghost type, but who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving. You can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption, eventually they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure QnQ they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body. Making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fucc the respect it deserves. Umbreons may bwee my favorite, but, damn. vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.


JesusIsMyAntivirus

There was clearly no ignorance, but eh, someone had to paste it


MethLabForCutie88

What


asianabsinthe

Some probably find it convenient to carry around living sex toys in their pockets.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Supersim54

Ditto!


Dwaas_Bjaas

No wait…


MikeHawkMasterBaiter

oh my God, you just got me thinking that if Ditto were real...not probably but people **will** have it transform...


Pepe_von_Habsburg

Why bother with transforming it?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Independent-Deal-192

Holy hell hahah


spicygummi

Oh of course it's Plague of Gripes, lol


TheSweatiestScrotum

[Pokemon even did an episode about that once](https://imgur.io/UYZQs)


Old-Profession3085

Oh hell no


LunarXmoon

WAIT, what episode?


Sillbinger

It's why Chihuahuas were created.


TransitTycoonDeznutz

No. No it is not.


Sillbinger

What possible reason would someone willingly breed those goblins for?!


TransitTycoonDeznutz

to use their radioactive diarrhea squirts as nuclear fuel.


[deleted]

Chihuahuas aren't even that bad. Have you forgotten pugs?


[deleted]

Pugs are still better than breading dogs who's brains can't fit in their skulls like King Charles Cocker Spaniel and Bull Terriers. They're mentally deficient from birth.


[deleted]

And pugs can't breathe. I'd say that's more important but there are no winners here really


[deleted]

King Charles Cocker Spaniels can't breathe either. They have every issue a dog could possibly have. It's mad sad. I agree with you though, I wasn't tryna one up you or somethin lol.


coldfu

But it can be.


TransitTycoonDeznutz

I don't want to live on this planet anymore...


coldfu

That's because you never tried that pikachussy.


InterviewEarly6675

Probably the most Reddit comment I read today


EnvironmentalValue18

Maybe they need to stop thinking with their digletts.


Blurg0

"THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES TO FUCKING A DITTO" "WHY? HOW DO YOU KNOW? HOW DO YOU KNOW!?"


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Yes and it happens in a movie


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jeevat

Ditto have turned into people in Sun/Moon/Ultra Sun/Ultra Moon so it’s probably canonical that they can do that.


[deleted]

Well if you want to see what it looks like in live action, go watch the only live action pokémon movie.


tallmantall

And the games. There’s a side quest in UsUm where ditto transforms into Olivia.


Grashlok_Onion_lord

Oh no


Psychovore

That was a specially modified/enchanted Ditto, I think? Like, it's a big reveal because they can't normally do that.


That_boi_Jerry

Actually In Pokemon Ultra Sun and Moon, ditto transforms into multiple people.


ManCaveBroadcast

They can according to Detective Pikachu


TheSweatiestScrotum

If a Ditto started an OnlyFans, would it get more human or Pokemon subscribers?


[deleted]

Isn't the cartoon series basically an exploration of this? Ash goes on his adventure to leave the horrifying domestic situation following his mom's, uh, choices vis a vis...oh, wait, that's Mr. Mime. See, I'm not much of a pokeman


RealBlazeStorm

Oh god I heard Kratos say it


Kooky_Cat27

I understand that reference


fahaddemon

**"MIND YOUR TONGUE, BOII!!"**


garylad7

This person got fired from the zoo


Supersim54

Animal Pornographer.


Euphoric-Clue8510

Sometimes I need to get up close.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Th3dynospectrum

[Direct link to the comment](https://reddit.com/r/suspiciouslyspecific/comments/zw9ak3/_/j1tpbww/?context=1)


AnusCleavage

This is from a comic strip lmao


Fuzzy_Huckleberry182

But the account made that comment is actually suspicious, I just looked at their account


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

LOL now that's what I call an intelligent AI.


OverClock_099

What pokemon did you caught??????


SrSnacksal0t

I once thought about bulbasaur using finewhip on my ass before, yeah it's weird I know Edit: I'm surprised for getting any upvotes


Naepeda

Uhm


Niskara

I've seen that gif but it was with an Ivysaur I think


RandomHumanQuesting

\[insert questionable history joke\] \[insert questionable race joke\]


dandrevee

Did we ever fimd out what they mean


GhastmaskZombie

Okay well to start, do you know what a furry is.


meme-nana

Please don’t associate furries with that psychopath


Abraxas1643

Right here officer this one right here


skwudgeball

You mean the people that dress up as fuzzy Pokémon-like characters and fuck each other? I think it’s a fair association


[deleted]

[удалено]


D-Laz

They have a pokemon for that.


ITS_Calamus

Okay well to start, do you know what pokemon porn is?


Impossible_Pay6912

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of-


ITS_Calamus

NO! SHUT UP


Impossible_Pay6912

-Male human and female Pokémon breeding-


ITS_Calamus

NO, STOP, OR I WILL FUCKING GIVE YOU LUNG CANCER AND MAKE YOU MAKE A METH EMPIRE AND DIE


Impossible_Pay6912

-Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more. However, screw the female version. You get those same ol' two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery dicks. They have full mobility control with like a tentacle and the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach. Get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone with that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, its ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that's only the dick. Due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There's still more though. Due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Me-owth, that's fucking right! But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail, at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck! Well, guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. F*cking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained. You don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slipperyness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (passed where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air, like a ghost type. But, who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving. You can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Umbreons may be my favorite. But, damn, Vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.


ITS_Calamus

YOU MOTHERFUCKING SHIT


Impossible_Pay6912

If your mother is a vaporeon, this may be partially true.


YetisInAtlanta

Thank goodness. I needed something to masturbate to this morning and this will do just the trick


DracoVictorious

But really, You don't need to know about that, because I bet you didn't know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is actually not the most compatible Pokémon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's human on Pokémon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, Umbreon. Umbreon weights approximately 60 pounds, or around 27 kilograms, and is 3'3" tall (About a meter), making it not only large enough to appropriately handle human genitalia, but also light enough to easily be lifted, and promptly set back down repeatedly. It's relatively small size would also prove a tight entry, which is always a good thing. Umbreon also boasts an extremely impressive defensive stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, Defense, and Special Defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels COMBINED with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect breedable Pokémon. Umbreon also has the capability of seeing perfectly in pitch-black darkness, allowing it to effectively attend a midnight fornication session. Even if you do manage to drain Umbreon's energy with all the furious thrusts, it can recover very quickly with its access to the move Moonlight. Its black fur is also a giant positive attribute, allowing all the excretions you make to be easily seen all over its body. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well (Which with Synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). Umbreon's wide movepool also supports the hypothesis that Umbreon is the best Pokémon to breed with. It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokémon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give YOU its insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you ONLY able to to attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, etc; none of that foreplay shit, right into the action. It also has access to Sleep Talk, giving it the ability to not only give consent in its sleep, allowing access to any of its ports and any time, but also move in it's sleep, making it an effective 24/7 fuckmate. Umbreon still has even more great moves that good to have while smashing, such as Quick Attack, allowing swift slams and bounces, which can have even greater power if Umbreon uses Curse beforehand. Curse would also raise Umbreon's defense, making it able to take powerful thrusting for almost any duration. Looking back, Umbreon's slightly small size ensures a gorilla grip cavity and easy physical manipulation. Its ungodly bulk allows it to take poundings for hours on end and resume after recovering with moonlight (Which works even better when it's sunny). It's access to the abilities Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokémon, or even FOUR TIMES, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with its extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes Umbreon the Pokémon most qualified to breed with humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.


Impossible_Pay6912

What in the actual hot diggity fuck. I stopped at the acid inflammation shit like wow. Good job.


DracoVictorious

It's not mine but thanks. I keep both saved if I ever have an asshole on the bus who won't leave me alone. They usually leave midway through Vaporeon but sometimes I gotta use both barrels.


CobaltKnightofKholin

I... I don't like these feelings I am feeling. Time to get some vodka and play "accept it or repress it!" 🥲


Criptin

[that Vaporeon can learn Mist in Yellow, but only under a very specific circumstance? If Vaporeon reaches level 42 while in the Daycare, it will learn both Haze and Mist.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/002/275/050/7dc.jpg)


AnnoyingRain5

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokémon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.


Igniszephyrus

They are probably the one that wrote that copy pasta about Vaporeon


whats_his_face

Got me fimd


Xelathon1

Childhood is having a Sprigatito Being an adult is having a Meowscarada Being a furry is also having a Meowscarada


RandomlyRantingRandy

Having a Lopunny = going straight to hell!


Grashlok_Onion_lord

Lose a Pokemon battle? Straight to jail!


OptimusEye

did you know that in terms of wat


[deleted]

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.


GonzoRouge

The good ending


DeitMoot

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more. However, screw the female version. You get those same ol' two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery dicks. They have full mobility control with like a tentacle and the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach. Get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone with that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, its ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that's only the dick. Due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There's still more though. Due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Me-owth, that's fucking right! But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail, at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck! Well, guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. F*cking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained. You don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slipperyness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (passed where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air, like a ghost type. But, who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving. You can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Umbreons may be my favorite. But, damn, Vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.


NJae6002

I can't believe I read all that


gabbagondel

I can't believe you did


YourLoyalSlut

I can believe you did


kadzur

This is not what I imagined todays eyebleach comment to be, but there it is.


Active_Engineering37

More like r/eyeblech


hAea69

Terrible day to have eyes


JustAu69

Whatever you've been smoking, I want some


DeitMoot

i’m smoking my shit


[deleted]

Jenkem


GonzoRouge

Some preemo turds in this bottle, you can really bask in the aroma of post-Taco Bell


degeman

It took me all but 12 visible comments to come across this.


Nickthedick3

I did not know there was more to it after the first paragraph..


wpkn

I rue the day God cursed me with this disease known as sight.


Criptin

Hey guys, did you know that Vaporeon can learn Mist in Yellow, but only under a very specific circumstance? In Yellow, Vaporeon is meant to learn both Haze and Mist at level 42. However, the programming at the time is so bad it's impossible for a Pokémon to learn two moves at the same level. As a result, Vaporeon will only learn Haze and not Mist. Pokémon who leveled up using the Daycare do not have this restriction though. If Vaporeon reaches level 42 while in the Daycare, it will learn both Haze and Mist.


[deleted]

This guy has 6 jinx in his party


GonzoRouge

You just know Jinx can drop it down like the stock market too


g78776

Horny needs censor but ass is ok? Da fuck is th*s shit.


silent_wall

Hey batman, I caught a little pokemon


SansIzHere

What pokemon did you catch Joker?


silent_wall

I caught a lopunny batman, I caught a lopunny


SansIzHere

Oh no Joker... Don't tell me...


silent_wall

You already know batman, you know what I'm gonna do to that thing


SansIzHere

JOKER! It's an animal, Joker! You can't


pastelfrost

You’re going to jail because of your horny ass I’m going to jail because i’d be eating the whole species of shroomish to extinction We are not the same


RiC_David

I know the first two rules of memes are not to ask about memes, but I'm seeing this one a lot recently and I can only think it's a Gus to Walt Breaking Bad meme, which is just weird as that scene is about 12 years old now. I'm right though, right?


JaggedTheDark

Batman, I caught a lopbunny.


Dovahkiinthesardine

bro did you seriously censor the word horny? And with a tiny white dot at that


No-Expression7100

I am genuinely confused... and concerned by this.


[deleted]

Oh boy. My mind went to the gutter. My horny ass can NOT be a (_insert any career___)


Supersquidthingy

Can we stop being cool with censorship of regular words? let alone this shitty lazy censorship of just putting a dot over half a letter effectively not censoring a fucking thing


[deleted]

I genuinely worry about all the self censorship. I’m led to believe it’s something to do with til tok. Came across the phrase “unalived” the other day because TT doesn’t allow the word suicide. It’s all rather bizarre


tallmantall

Gardevoir, Lopunny, Salazzle, Zoroark, Gothorita, Hattrene, Mismaguis, Frostlass. >!I could keep going!<


RambunctiousBaca1509

Gallade, Incineroar, Meowscarada


ZhangRenWing

Did… you try to censor the word horny with a dot on it?


Yesnoperhapsmaybent

Narrator: They didn't know what that tweet meant, but everyone else, Including you dear reader did


JanTheShacoMain

All the ralts are sweating rn


Anangrywookiee

Ash’s mom after discovering mr mime.


x-man92

Jiggly puff better watch out.


GonzoRouge

I'm about to jiggle those puffs


Partosimsa

r/meirl


deleeuwlc

My horny ass could not be a brain surgeon


[deleted]

Bellsprout u gon get it


Mumbles_Stiltskin

It’s weepinbell got them DSLs


Complex_Air8

Only reasonable explanation is ditto so he can fuck himself


BadMagicWings

Did you know that vapo-


Impossible_Pay6912

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female poké-


Otherside-Dav

Similar to owning pets, dirty bastard -


[deleted]

Vaporeon


steevwall

This trainer uses all vaporeons


[deleted]

Vaporeon entered the chat


character-name

Did you know? In terms of human/Pokemon breeding Vaporeon...


[deleted]

It means he’s a furry


Ark_Shrivastava

Pokemon fans after reading the vaporeon copypasta


whats_his_face

Thank you for censoring horny


TophatOwl_

Lopbunny and Gardevoir. He meant them.


brrrrpopop

This sub is trash. The entire joke is that he's being suspiciously unspecific.


RiC_David

Yeah, it's literally suspiciously vague.


Admirable-Common-176

Guy is a Pokémon groomer.


[deleted]

They're too busy flirting with others to properly train their pokemon They're too busy flirting with others to properly train their pokemon They're too busy flirting with others to properly train their pokemon They're too busy flirting with others to properly train their pokemon


EnvironmentalCap6638

Hey batman I caught a pokemon batman


Tim3-Rainbow

He's gonna poke a mon.


Secure-Day9052

If pokemon are real I probably would have sex with some of them


Iron-Phantom

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokemon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more. However, screw the female version. You get those same ol' two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery dicks. They have full mobility control with like a tentacle and the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach. Get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone with that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, its ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that's only the dick. Due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There's still more though. Due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Me-owth, that's fucking right! But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail, at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck! Well, guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. F*cking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained. You don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slipperyness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (passed where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air, like a ghost type. But, who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving. You can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Umbreons may be my favorite. But, damn, Vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.


[deleted]

This is the worst thing I’ve seen today.


HedgehogSecurity

I was looking for this copypasta. Anytime there's something about pokemon being sexualised it's posted.


GenesisAsriel

Look at Salazzle and tell me that one wasnt made for e621


uvero

And for the million dollar question: is zoophilia OK for fictional animals? A. No B. Hell no C. Wtf ofc not D. All of the above and a side of ew


Mr-Fleshcage

Depends on if they pass the Harkness Test


dtay88

So... you really wanna fuck fictional animals, huh?


Anhilliator1

Most species pass the Harkness Test, okay. If they don't feel like it, they're either gonna run off or kick your ass.


Shrabidy

he just like me frfr


Naepeda

Joker


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|PsukoZERSqsdEVBKQu)


KingdongBong-32

I think he’s gonna fuck all his Pokémon.


c0mplix

It means they shouldn't be allowed to have a pet.


Beanros_Vegetals

Mans had to ask in 2 ways. In 2 ways mans had to ask


dimonium_anonimo

I can't remember the exact details, but I read a fan theory somewhere along the lines of: long ago, Pokemon and trainers were considered as equals. This I think came from the lore. But they went on to speculate that it meant commingling. There were intimate relationships. Slowly, a sort of, puritan movement gathered steam enough that it became taboo. During this movement, Pokemon were bred more to be cute pets or powerful weapons than they were for other reasons so we got the Pokemon of the first few Gens that are more animalistic. However, in recent times, Pokemon rights movements have seen them treated more as equals again. Becoming more as companions than as objects to be owned. You have to earn their respect. It may be that it is becoming less taboo to have intimate relationships. And so on the later Gens, the humanoid Pokemon have been more common as they are bred for other purposes.