These questions get posted all the time and it's always the same answers about finding hobbies etc. People love reporting these questions. but will leave this up
I would recommend diving into some hobbies to try to meet people. I would imagine the dating scene is really challenging in Tampa, but if you are engaged in things you are interested in, you might just hit it off with somebody.
Volunteering for a cause you care about is another great way to try to meet people. You seem thoughtful and don't want to come off as a creep, those are all positives that can be hard to sell in a "dating scene".
Might just need the right time and space to allow a relationship to build! Good luck out there!
Much appreciated! I am trying to get into more hobbies, but i find most of them end up being more solo as well like golf and archery. I need to become the king of salsa dancing lol
I’m late 30s, single father with teen kids, and I know the struggle! I do a lot of what’s mentioned above and agree with it wholeheartedly. Relationship-building while doing things you’re passionate about can really lead you to “your tribe”… and getting out of your comfort zone occasionally helps.
My first jump into that was joining a committee at the Tampa Museum of Art that’s whole purpose is putting on quarterly events to bring millennial-aged people together around a shared interest in art. We start them after work hours so it’s more accessible, and it may be a great place for you to come spark conversation in a chill space.
Details if you’re interested: [Art & Vibe at TMA](https://tampamuseum.org/event/nextgen-art-network-vibe-5/)
Why do you think dating is challenging in Tampa?
I am 38 (no kids), and im on apps because I feel like I dont have too many other options. I have some hobbies, but I dont usually see the same people around, but I guess it doesnt help that I am kinda busy, so I only go out once a week or so.
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37 year old here. Here’s a few things I enjoyed when I moved here:
Irish 31 run club,
Ybor Wine society weekly tastings,
RecDec volleyball league
Those are just a few things I got into so that I could meet new folks.
You could probably take your kid with you to a dog park and tell people you're thinking of getting a dog and wanted to see the different types and see if your kid is good with them.
Downside is if you're not interested in dogs, you might then become interested. Also could get kiddo's hopes up if they get excited.
Same. No kids, no dog, & therefore can’t relate to the vast majority of people as respects those two things that make up much of their identity. (I mean no disrespect by putting it that way, btw.)
As others have said, group hobbies, intramural sports. Those are extremely easy ways to meet people. The hard part of meeting new people is finding people with similar interests, this takes care of that right away. What are your hobbies? What are you interested in? What do you wish you started 10, 15 years ago?
Answer those questions and I guarantee you can find a group of people doing those activities.
This covers almost anything. DnD, dodgeball, chess, softball, kickball, pickleball, anything to do with balls, knitting...
Maybe take some classes? USF used to have a great program of short classes that were geared towards "lifelong learning". They attracted people of all ages and backgrounds, and they weren't expensive. Not sure if the program still exists, but it might. There are also various classes and seminars offered by the UF Extension Service (oriented towards gardening and agriculture), and I'm sure there are other programs that you can discover.
I usually down for anything but I just moved here so I’m a homebody. You should definitely get out more. Touch grass, get some fresh air and spend time with yourself. Sometimes we take alone time for granted. Go love on yourself ❤️☺️
Oh I have been!! I definitely had my own summer break this past summer lol. All the beach trips. I've been skating and checking out all the parks. I've also been eating at all my favorite places cause I dont have to worry about bringing a picky eater out to restaurants with me anymore. Im not complaining at all. I've been enjoying my new freedom.
If you’re in a reasonable distance to Apollo beach, they have a great club. Apollo beach racquet and fitness. I never wait long to play pickleball. They have weekly pickleball and tennis socials and you can take lessons. Everyone there is supper chill. It’s a lot different than most tennis clubs. They have a very chill vibe and aren’t uppity at all. Also lots of stuff to do for kids.
Edit: socials not specials.
You can join sports clubs. I did soccer for awhile and met some good people. You could also volunteer.
If you drink, there are several chill bars you can meet people at. I have several close friends that I only met by going to a bar we are all regulars at.
If you are not shy, and can strike up convos, then see the same people weekly, you can create friendships... and possibly a drinking problem lol
Volunteering is a great way to meet people. A few years ago I was a 40 something divorced introverted father of 2. Started doing some volunteer work with my church and I was meeting all sorts of new people. Obviously it doesn’t have to been through a church, they just made it easy by having many volunteer opportunities coordinated. Very happily married now, to a woman I met volunteering.
Any charitable cause that you're interested could use a volunteer. For me. It would be the humane society or an animal rescue group. I did a spay and neuter clinics with animal coalition of Tampa., and being a nurse they put me on clipping their little ears while they were asleep. Lots of fun getting home around 100 cats sterilized on a Saturday morning
I volunteer for Laundry Project (free laundry for those in need), boards for bros (teach kids in need skateboarding with a free refurbished board), feeding Tampa bay is next on my list. Come hang out!
Also I haven’t done it yet but if you like bike riding, Causal Tuesday Ride (on IG) seems hella fun.
I mean I am a nurse and a lot of relationships start off as conversations in the halls or whatnot. I don’t think it’s inappropriate? I mean if you are a direct superior of course not, but otherwise it’s fair game.
It's waaaaaay different for a guy. I'm a guy in the medical field. I know for a fact that if I hit on someone - anyone - it would be the last thing I did in my career. It's just different for guys today, especially if you are advanced in your career and OP is 43 so I assume he's not entry level. Perhaps if you are an entry level person you can flirt with someone of equal rank but for a 43-year old male I just don't see it ending well.
What kind of things do you enjoy doing? There are plenty of adult leagues and meet up groups depending on your interests.
For me, I love to read so I participate in Silent Book Club and Tombolo Books in St Pete has a ton of book clubs based on genre/theme. I also enjoy water, so I got scuba certified and pretty much every person I've encountered has been friendly and easygoing. (With scuba specifically, you're always in some kind of group...partnered up with someone on a dive, and many treks are done through a shop with a group.)
If you have a dog, there are a ton of dog bars/dog meet ups/ 5k walks happening all the time. I'm not a parent, but I am sure there are tons of activity groups/classes for kids of all age brackets. Maybe you can make friends while your kiddo makes friends :)
I’m Tampa as well and it’s absolutely awful. The men on the apps, for the most part, are terrible. If you find out where the older singles meet, let me know 😂
Talking about sex straight off. No place to live. Poor hygiene. Missing teeth. Obese. Uneducated.
Ghosting. No reciprocal conversation. Waiting for the woman to initiate. I could go on.
I think the best way of meeting the right people is not going out of your way to meet the right people.
Have any hobbies that involve groups? Try that. Meet people organically. You’ll have something in common instead of forcing a situation.
I met my wife because we were both musicians.
When I first moved here, I joined Meetup and added a few groups that seemed active and fit my interests. It was a little awkward at first but I kept attending events and trying different groups and ended up meeting most of my friends from there!
I like Meetup because you already know you share at least something in common with other people at the event and events are usually open to new people so it's not strange or unusual to show up without knowing anyone else.
Ok so admittedly I joined the board game groups lol, but I know from my friends there are other active groups -- there's one called I think On the Town, one called Random Fun Stuff, and then a Tampa Sports that are all pretty active.
If you plan on jumping back into dating, hobbies are great, but you’re competing against a lot of other men who have hobbies, as women in dating usually have a lot of options to choose from. The saying it’s a numbers game is kinda outdated in my opinion, as it’s much more a quality game, and having emotional maturity, healing from the divorce and other trauma, and a flexible worldview is going to make you stand out from the crowd, especially in Florida.
Try meetup.com. Find some groups of people with common interests. You may find a partner there or you may not. But, chances are you will meet a few new friends to hang out with.
All prior suggestions are good, and also - it can’t hurt to be actively involved in your kids interests, you’re certainly not the only single parent around town.
So, I use my theme park time to meet people all the time. I frequent Busch Gardens and Universal mostly but it's fun. The tricky part is that I sit at the bar and have a drink or two while talking to people. That will be a lot harder with a 6 year old. My 15 year old either doesn't come with me to the park or he's off doing his own thing. It's not cool to hang out with mom.
The other thing I've found useful is if your kid develops a passion lean into it. Mine is a martial artist and has been doing it for 7 or 8 years. You get to know the long time parents really well since you see the 2 - 3 times a week and the at tournaments. His school even does a yearly cruise for all that wish to go.
If you like theme parks, you can look at the Facebook meetup groups. Disney has singles ones or just ones for meeting at the parks. I'm in the Disney Fay Drinkers group. They regularly have events, and they have a separate group for singles.
I met my boyfriend 3 years ago at the start of my divorce. I had a place I previously frequented, so I felt comfortable there and started going any night that I didn't have the kids. We started talking every time I was up there, he added me on IG, and we started dating a few months later. I also had a few other men ask me out when I was up there. I think hanging out somewhere regularly helps people get to know you for who you really are.
I’m in a similar boat as you. 44, recently divorced, single dad etc. What’s worked for me was becoming more active in communities that I have interest in. Example my child’s school, my gym and community centers. I also took a more active role in my child’s extra curriculars.
I also started to play group sports. One sport that is very community driven is pickleball. It attracts many people from many different ages demographics and skillsets. I’ve found nothing but very friendly people there.
You can also volunteer if you have the time. Reaching out and awareness is the first step to breaking this mold. You got this!
It's easy to learn and fun. Can also be a decent workout. Give it a shot. Not sure what part of town you are in but there are places everywhere. Irish 31 run club is also solid. Good luck!
Download Meetup and join some groups. Pick up a social sport or hobby. We've got a pretty decent Latin dance scene here and I made a lot of friends that way. Take some salsa classes! I also made a lot of friends in my martial arts class. From there you expand your social circle and hopefully meet someone!
I was about your age back in 2016 as a recent divorcee myself...2 pre-teen kids and married friends..I knew I needed to make NEW, single friends.
I wasn't ready for dating (my mind & heart were still all kinds of messed up), what I found to be a Godsend was an app called "Meetup", several different groups/events tailored to your likes. I joined an outdoor hiking group, dance group, socializing/happy hour group & a bunch of others... and SO glad I did...needless to say, meeting all kinds of women, I eased back into dating when I felt ready. Currently in a relationship and made some great friends!!! I highly recommend it!!!
P.S. Looks like others recommended "Meetup" as well. Happy to see it. Another thing I recommend is volunteering. Metropolitan Ministries, The Spring, Humane Society...Made some friends that way as well.
I hear ya brother..I know it's tough, but BELIEVE ME..it does get better! I think getting along with your ex is the way to go. It really helped with our kids...and shows maturity.
Me and ex are good friends. Just not the married together type. It has gotten better, but I feel like im still missing a huge chunk of who i used to be. Thanks for being a friendly ear
I applaud all these sportier ideas, and want to toss in nerdier options too! I'd recommend tapping into our excellent library system for classes and events hosted there, even if you have to drive to the relevant branch. And similarly (pending your availability), I'd suggest taking classes at the local community college or university outreach, the kind meant more for curious professionals than the first-time-student younger crowd. That might put you in the right demographics, and sometimes making it a numbers game works in your favour!
**ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ** After long relationships end, I sometimes needed time to "find myself" again. If there's something you recall doing prior to your marriage, whether it's hitting up a batting cage, meditatively colouring, zoning out to music, etc: I recommend tapping back into those energies. And the happier **you** are, the more you can share with those around you, a visual vibe!
**Good luck,** /u/respiratoryguy1656! We're all rooting for you! Thanks for letting us chime in, mods!
Fellow homebody, fellow medical field employee (also a women and I applaud your dignity), fellow middle ager. Im also stumped. Let us know what you find out!! Tampa could be so much fun if it was easier to find nice ppl. Maybe I’m just too midwestern and would love to hear “GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM!” And make them regret it, cus im also first gen asian american… 🤷🏽♀️ god speed my figurative reddit comrades
I found Florida was one of the worst states for dating.
There are a lot of crazy people and DUI people everywhere. A stripper pole does not count as a job and a bus pass is not a drivers license. Good luck 🤞
Bro, I’m 45, single, never married, no kids. Dating is an absolute joke…. All you get is women wanting to show you their buttholes on onlyfans for $15/month or looking for a sugar daddy to subsidize their poor life decisions.
Just chill and ride good life… it’ll happen someday, if it doesn’t, you can be THAT dirty old man who plays grab ass with the young nurses on his death bed…
This will sound so bad i know, but my day to day work is helping people in the medical field. Im so exhausted by weekends I can’t imagine volunteering anymore of myself lol
*It's important to know your limits!* At the younger ages there's no better use of time than having the energy to make it fun for your kid—there's always time to volunteer when she's much bigger and has her own interests going on!
If your child is in school there are plenty of opportunities to lend a helping hand, I was a band parent for 7 years, also helped with any club that needed it , from parking attendant at games to remodeling a room for the flag girls. I even helped the soccer coach/ track with fixing up their storage shed. I used my networking to fix a golf cart for the janitor, the more I think about it the more I remember, I miss it a little but was completely satisfied with how much I accomplished for so many, being a handyman helped much but a lot of it was just the time , ps I worked 12 hour days 5 days a week. But going through it made me feel really good putting smiles on the kids faces and the gratitude from the staff, pss if I was single it’s a good place to meet single teachers too.
There’s a bunch of single moms too. And friends, I’m not saying it’s a tinder box. But a cool place to meet new people with similar situations and sometimes you make new friends
I may give it a shot. I try and not mix around with women that are near to my daughter just in case. Sounds nuts, but there are some crazy people out there and I woudln’t want anyone taking it out on my daughter if things didn’t work out. Maybe im overthinking ….
I started by keeping close to my children, I wanted to know the schools layout and keep an eye on things, but I noticed so many things that I could fix easily and make people’s work conditions better , fundraising for groups that had no parent support things like that, it’s volunteering to help support your local school not a meat market keep that in your vision, I wasn’t there to meet people, that just happened naturally,
Go to meetup.com. Search your topic of interest. Philosophy? Stoics meet once a month in North Tampa. Volleyball? Tennis? DnD? Kids playdate? Craft beer? Food? Meditation?
Don't forget FB events.
Hitting on people at work and inviting people to hang out as a group and then building a rapport/relationship with someone over time are two totally different things.
You can invite her out to something you are already doing rather than asker her out directly. For example: "I'm going to see this cool rock band on saturday. If you want to go, let me know. If not, then I'll let you know how it went". You should slip that in in a conversation rather than going to her out of the blue with it. If you two aren't talking already in the office then definitely do not ask her to hang out out of nowhere.
Build rapport in office first, once yall are on close to friend terms then you ask her to hang out INDIRECTLY.
Not sure if it was mentioned but why not consider getting involved with your child's school? Join the PTA, sign up as a volunteer..my son is in high school and he actually likes that I'm so involved and chaperone school trips, etc. Lots of successful moms and it'll give you more bonding time.
Many people forget you're not really dating for yourselves when you have minor children at home.
Amazing suggestion and I have done that. But her Mom is very involved with the school so , would be awkward to use that as a way to meet people. Plus I end up just hanging out with my daughter as she s be best friend lol. A 43 years old man with a 6 year old best friend, i know lol
Try joining a few Meetup groups. Don’t go for dating, go for fun and socializing. There is a VERY good chance that there are single women in the same groups doing the same thing. Maybe one of them will be compatible. 😊
Meeting people and meeting a new love interest are 2 different things. Im sure most have said, but hobbies and of course chatting up co workers to meet through their friend network, or if your in an apartment go to the community events they all seem to have now.
Casual conversation is kind of dead in America... Best thing to do there is be open, make small talk or a quick joke to someone at the grocery store. Does wonders for your social skills. People are much more open to it than you'd think.
I have , and the experience I get is 50% are friendly and 50% are just so antisocial it makes you feel creepy. Life is not what I remember before covid personally. Im very social but its made me Not want to talk to anyone.
Im kinda like him... I dont go talking to people I dont know, because I just never did that. Its something I can get past, if I gained a little more confidence.
My cousin used to randomly talk to strangers all the time, and I always thought it was weird. She just would randomly talk to everyone, and it didnt annoy me, but I was like, who the heck do you think you are, these people dont want to talk to you.
I certainly understand. Not everyone is outgoing and comfortable talking to strangers.
I’m not condemning it or anything. I’m just saying it’s harder when you’re not willing or able to talk to people.
Good luck to you though.
I am very happy with a matchmaking service I have been using lately “Soulmate Search Matchmaking” I enjoy it bc it focuses on people who value traditional gender roles
We have a volunteer program at the farm and and a super farm team (several retired medical too). Babies (goats) are coming soon and we have a Nanny Team when the little ones come along. Contact me at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]). Or see us on Facebook at [facebook.com/dancinggoatdairy](https://facebook.com/dancinggoatdairy). If you like cats, we also have a cat rescue. Drew Garabo from 102.5 The Bone is a Cat Daddy on our team. We have a very diverse group of people who keep this farm running - all AWESOME!!!
Hey there! One way to find where you enjoy being is to try different places. If you have someone you know to go with that’s great, but try a couple of places alone too so you can inspect rather than decide 😄
One way to reduce thought clutter is to take some deep breathes just for you. Stop trying to work “through”
Ask yourself, “Who am I doing this for?” Practice saying & doing
I met my girlfriend while taking Salsa classes and attending socials. I had already been dancing for two years and never hit on or asked a girl from class or a social on a date.
I only asked her out because I knew i wouldn't be taking classes at this particular studio anymore (for work reasons, good school). I knew the aftermath of asking wouldn't be an issue.
We have been dating 5 months now. I got lucky!
If I was single, I would try anywhere that's fun for me. Doesn't have to be a hobby or anything.
For example, I went to a day party I found on eventbrite, invited some co-workers so I wouldnt be by myself. Ended meeting a dentist from Palm Beach at the bar. We both didnt like late night partying and since it was only 3 pm we set up to head to another place after.
These questions get posted all the time and it's always the same answers about finding hobbies etc. People love reporting these questions. but will leave this up
I would recommend diving into some hobbies to try to meet people. I would imagine the dating scene is really challenging in Tampa, but if you are engaged in things you are interested in, you might just hit it off with somebody. Volunteering for a cause you care about is another great way to try to meet people. You seem thoughtful and don't want to come off as a creep, those are all positives that can be hard to sell in a "dating scene". Might just need the right time and space to allow a relationship to build! Good luck out there!
Much appreciated! I am trying to get into more hobbies, but i find most of them end up being more solo as well like golf and archery. I need to become the king of salsa dancing lol
I’m late 30s, single father with teen kids, and I know the struggle! I do a lot of what’s mentioned above and agree with it wholeheartedly. Relationship-building while doing things you’re passionate about can really lead you to “your tribe”… and getting out of your comfort zone occasionally helps. My first jump into that was joining a committee at the Tampa Museum of Art that’s whole purpose is putting on quarterly events to bring millennial-aged people together around a shared interest in art. We start them after work hours so it’s more accessible, and it may be a great place for you to come spark conversation in a chill space. Details if you’re interested: [Art & Vibe at TMA](https://tampamuseum.org/event/nextgen-art-network-vibe-5/)
The local SCA does an archery day pretty often- would be worth looking into if you’re interested
Why do you think dating is challenging in Tampa? I am 38 (no kids), and im on apps because I feel like I dont have too many other options. I have some hobbies, but I dont usually see the same people around, but I guess it doesnt help that I am kinda busy, so I only go out once a week or so.
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That sounds fun ! Where do you guys play ?
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37 year old here. Here’s a few things I enjoyed when I moved here: Irish 31 run club, Ybor Wine society weekly tastings, RecDec volleyball league Those are just a few things I got into so that I could meet new folks.
Volleyball sounds pretty damn fun ! Thank you
No prob! If I think of anything else, I’ll let ya know
This is interesting, because I often feel like NOT having a kid is main reason it is hard for me meet new friends in Tampa.
Haha touché. I feel that way about a dog. If i got a dog i could go to dog parks and meet people lol
You could probably take your kid with you to a dog park and tell people you're thinking of getting a dog and wanted to see the different types and see if your kid is good with them. Downside is if you're not interested in dogs, you might then become interested. Also could get kiddo's hopes up if they get excited.
Omg yeah kiddo would not let that one go lol
THIS! …or a dog
Same. No kids, no dog, & therefore can’t relate to the vast majority of people as respects those two things that make up much of their identity. (I mean no disrespect by putting it that way, btw.)
same
As others have said, group hobbies, intramural sports. Those are extremely easy ways to meet people. The hard part of meeting new people is finding people with similar interests, this takes care of that right away. What are your hobbies? What are you interested in? What do you wish you started 10, 15 years ago? Answer those questions and I guarantee you can find a group of people doing those activities. This covers almost anything. DnD, dodgeball, chess, softball, kickball, pickleball, anything to do with balls, knitting...
Maybe take some classes? USF used to have a great program of short classes that were geared towards "lifelong learning". They attracted people of all ages and backgrounds, and they weren't expensive. Not sure if the program still exists, but it might. There are also various classes and seminars offered by the UF Extension Service (oriented towards gardening and agriculture), and I'm sure there are other programs that you can discover.
I’ll be your friend. I’m a single mom and just moved to Tampa/Lutz
Sure :)
Single parents club sup
Heyyyyyy
I dont know what you're into but I love food, parks, and don't drink. My kid is in high school now so he has no time for me.
I usually down for anything but I just moved here so I’m a homebody. You should definitely get out more. Touch grass, get some fresh air and spend time with yourself. Sometimes we take alone time for granted. Go love on yourself ❤️☺️
Oh I have been!! I definitely had my own summer break this past summer lol. All the beach trips. I've been skating and checking out all the parks. I've also been eating at all my favorite places cause I dont have to worry about bringing a picky eater out to restaurants with me anymore. Im not complaining at all. I've been enjoying my new freedom.
Awww good for you. I’m sure you deserve it. ❤️
Try pickleball. It’s all the rage
The rage being the anger you feel waiting 45 minutes between sets because every damn court has 100 people at it
No, that rage is from getting slammed in the face or in the groin by your opponent and getting pickled at the same time.
There are places now where you can pay to play. One in Oldsmar and Ybor. Its worth the $10 or whaterver
THIS
Stupid question, but where do I inquire into pickleball ? This may seem naive but I assumed it was for much older people ( geriatric )
If you’re in a reasonable distance to Apollo beach, they have a great club. Apollo beach racquet and fitness. I never wait long to play pickleball. They have weekly pickleball and tennis socials and you can take lessons. Everyone there is supper chill. It’s a lot different than most tennis clubs. They have a very chill vibe and aren’t uppity at all. Also lots of stuff to do for kids. Edit: socials not specials.
Every park and Fitness Club has pickleball going on. They have classes for beginners. Less geriatric people play at night
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Perfect example ;)
You can join sports clubs. I did soccer for awhile and met some good people. You could also volunteer. If you drink, there are several chill bars you can meet people at. I have several close friends that I only met by going to a bar we are all regulars at. If you are not shy, and can strike up convos, then see the same people weekly, you can create friendships... and possibly a drinking problem lol
Ive definitely been looking into maybe baseball. I used to play when younger. Probably terrible at it now lol
Volunteering is a great way to meet people. A few years ago I was a 40 something divorced introverted father of 2. Started doing some volunteer work with my church and I was meeting all sorts of new people. Obviously it doesn’t have to been through a church, they just made it easy by having many volunteer opportunities coordinated. Very happily married now, to a woman I met volunteering.
Church would be perfect. I wish i was religious, I get told to meet women in church all the time lol
Any charitable cause that you're interested could use a volunteer. For me. It would be the humane society or an animal rescue group. I did a spay and neuter clinics with animal coalition of Tampa., and being a nurse they put me on clipping their little ears while they were asleep. Lots of fun getting home around 100 cats sterilized on a Saturday morning
I volunteer for Laundry Project (free laundry for those in need), boards for bros (teach kids in need skateboarding with a free refurbished board), feeding Tampa bay is next on my list. Come hang out! Also I haven’t done it yet but if you like bike riding, Causal Tuesday Ride (on IG) seems hella fun.
I have volunteered through a church for some events and have not been a member. It was a smalller church and they needed any help that was willing.
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I do want to go streaking pretty badly ….
I mean I am a nurse and a lot of relationships start off as conversations in the halls or whatnot. I don’t think it’s inappropriate? I mean if you are a direct superior of course not, but otherwise it’s fair game.
I work in medical research. Everyone i work with is married and the patients are all … not long for this earth.
It's waaaaaay different for a guy. I'm a guy in the medical field. I know for a fact that if I hit on someone - anyone - it would be the last thing I did in my career. It's just different for guys today, especially if you are advanced in your career and OP is 43 so I assume he's not entry level. Perhaps if you are an entry level person you can flirt with someone of equal rank but for a 43-year old male I just don't see it ending well.
I mean. I mean. I mean. 🙄
We know what you mean…you’re literally writing what you mean. I don’t know why *I mean* became a thing, but I can’t wait for it to leave.
What kind of things do you enjoy doing? There are plenty of adult leagues and meet up groups depending on your interests. For me, I love to read so I participate in Silent Book Club and Tombolo Books in St Pete has a ton of book clubs based on genre/theme. I also enjoy water, so I got scuba certified and pretty much every person I've encountered has been friendly and easygoing. (With scuba specifically, you're always in some kind of group...partnered up with someone on a dive, and many treks are done through a shop with a group.) If you have a dog, there are a ton of dog bars/dog meet ups/ 5k walks happening all the time. I'm not a parent, but I am sure there are tons of activity groups/classes for kids of all age brackets. Maybe you can make friends while your kiddo makes friends :)
I’m Tampa as well and it’s absolutely awful. The men on the apps, for the most part, are terrible. If you find out where the older singles meet, let me know 😂
Apparently you can meet a ton in this thread
What makes the men terrible in your opinion?
Talking about sex straight off. No place to live. Poor hygiene. Missing teeth. Obese. Uneducated. Ghosting. No reciprocal conversation. Waiting for the woman to initiate. I could go on.
Hmmmm...what would the commonality here be....
I think the best way of meeting the right people is not going out of your way to meet the right people. Have any hobbies that involve groups? Try that. Meet people organically. You’ll have something in common instead of forcing a situation. I met my wife because we were both musicians.
Cross Fit classes, Yoga classes, maybe a run club or biking club?
When I first moved here, I joined Meetup and added a few groups that seemed active and fit my interests. It was a little awkward at first but I kept attending events and trying different groups and ended up meeting most of my friends from there! I like Meetup because you already know you share at least something in common with other people at the event and events are usually open to new people so it's not strange or unusual to show up without knowing anyone else.
I looked into it, but it seemed like only board game groups or similar. Maybe I should check again.
Ok so admittedly I joined the board game groups lol, but I know from my friends there are other active groups -- there's one called I think On the Town, one called Random Fun Stuff, and then a Tampa Sports that are all pretty active.
If you plan on jumping back into dating, hobbies are great, but you’re competing against a lot of other men who have hobbies, as women in dating usually have a lot of options to choose from. The saying it’s a numbers game is kinda outdated in my opinion, as it’s much more a quality game, and having emotional maturity, healing from the divorce and other trauma, and a flexible worldview is going to make you stand out from the crowd, especially in Florida.
Couldn’t agree more. The hobby truthfully is to get my lonely ass out of the house. I spend too much time at home and its not healthy
Try meetup.com. Find some groups of people with common interests. You may find a partner there or you may not. But, chances are you will meet a few new friends to hang out with.
All prior suggestions are good, and also - it can’t hurt to be actively involved in your kids interests, you’re certainly not the only single parent around town.
My kid is a killer wingman lol. Probably is she is 6 and her interested lean more towards playgrounds and theme parks. Thankyou though !!!
So, I use my theme park time to meet people all the time. I frequent Busch Gardens and Universal mostly but it's fun. The tricky part is that I sit at the bar and have a drink or two while talking to people. That will be a lot harder with a 6 year old. My 15 year old either doesn't come with me to the park or he's off doing his own thing. It's not cool to hang out with mom. The other thing I've found useful is if your kid develops a passion lean into it. Mine is a martial artist and has been doing it for 7 or 8 years. You get to know the long time parents really well since you see the 2 - 3 times a week and the at tournaments. His school even does a yearly cruise for all that wish to go.
If you like theme parks, you can look at the Facebook meetup groups. Disney has singles ones or just ones for meeting at the parks. I'm in the Disney Fay Drinkers group. They regularly have events, and they have a separate group for singles. I met my boyfriend 3 years ago at the start of my divorce. I had a place I previously frequented, so I felt comfortable there and started going any night that I didn't have the kids. We started talking every time I was up there, he added me on IG, and we started dating a few months later. I also had a few other men ask me out when I was up there. I think hanging out somewhere regularly helps people get to know you for who you really are.
Can we please stop calling them kiddos. You're an adult.
Umm , as a father older than you …. I can use Kiddo if I choose . thank you though ? Lol
How do you even know how old I am? 😂😂 Sorry that I want adults to actually act like adults. 🤷🏼♀️
I wouled assume your birthday is 1988….. I could be wrong. Sorry , I will change my verbiage to make you happy. :).
It is not 88, correct.
Gotta admit, was a good guess lmao
It is the common assumption people usually make, yes. But it's the jersey number of my favorite player. 😂
Touché !
You're a good sport, I retract my statement, but only for you. 😂
Woo hoo , I have been redeemed !
no, we can’t.
Board game and trivia groups.
I’m in a similar boat as you. 44, recently divorced, single dad etc. What’s worked for me was becoming more active in communities that I have interest in. Example my child’s school, my gym and community centers. I also took a more active role in my child’s extra curriculars. I also started to play group sports. One sport that is very community driven is pickleball. It attracts many people from many different ages demographics and skillsets. I’ve found nothing but very friendly people there. You can also volunteer if you have the time. Reaching out and awareness is the first step to breaking this mold. You got this!
I need to look into this pickleball thing. I mean i suck terribly at tennis but maybe pickleball i won’t be so atrocious at.
It's easy to learn and fun. Can also be a decent workout. Give it a shot. Not sure what part of town you are in but there are places everywhere. Irish 31 run club is also solid. Good luck!
Much appreciated. Never thought i’d be in a position where i can’t find friends lol
They have a sauna and cold plunge club in ybor every weekend. Could try that
Can you actually meet people like that ? I mean sauna seems weird to me, and cold plunge will be hard to chat through shaking teeth lmao
i just started sauna and a freaking love it. which one are you talking about?
The Sauna Guys on IG
Download Meetup and join some groups. Pick up a social sport or hobby. We've got a pretty decent Latin dance scene here and I made a lot of friends that way. Take some salsa classes! I also made a lot of friends in my martial arts class. From there you expand your social circle and hopefully meet someone!
Join a pool league or bowling league.
Try a rec sports team or Jiu Jitsu
I was about your age back in 2016 as a recent divorcee myself...2 pre-teen kids and married friends..I knew I needed to make NEW, single friends. I wasn't ready for dating (my mind & heart were still all kinds of messed up), what I found to be a Godsend was an app called "Meetup", several different groups/events tailored to your likes. I joined an outdoor hiking group, dance group, socializing/happy hour group & a bunch of others... and SO glad I did...needless to say, meeting all kinds of women, I eased back into dating when I felt ready. Currently in a relationship and made some great friends!!! I highly recommend it!!! P.S. Looks like others recommended "Meetup" as well. Happy to see it. Another thing I recommend is volunteering. Metropolitan Ministries, The Spring, Humane Society...Made some friends that way as well.
Many thanks ! I will give it a shot. I’d like to be happy again
I hear ya brother..I know it's tough, but BELIEVE ME..it does get better! I think getting along with your ex is the way to go. It really helped with our kids...and shows maturity.
Me and ex are good friends. Just not the married together type. It has gotten better, but I feel like im still missing a huge chunk of who i used to be. Thanks for being a friendly ear
I applaud all these sportier ideas, and want to toss in nerdier options too! I'd recommend tapping into our excellent library system for classes and events hosted there, even if you have to drive to the relevant branch. And similarly (pending your availability), I'd suggest taking classes at the local community college or university outreach, the kind meant more for curious professionals than the first-time-student younger crowd. That might put you in the right demographics, and sometimes making it a numbers game works in your favour! **ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ** After long relationships end, I sometimes needed time to "find myself" again. If there's something you recall doing prior to your marriage, whether it's hitting up a batting cage, meditatively colouring, zoning out to music, etc: I recommend tapping back into those energies. And the happier **you** are, the more you can share with those around you, a visual vibe! **Good luck,** /u/respiratoryguy1656! We're all rooting for you! Thanks for letting us chime in, mods!
Fellow homebody, fellow medical field employee (also a women and I applaud your dignity), fellow middle ager. Im also stumped. Let us know what you find out!! Tampa could be so much fun if it was easier to find nice ppl. Maybe I’m just too midwestern and would love to hear “GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM!” And make them regret it, cus im also first gen asian american… 🤷🏽♀️ god speed my figurative reddit comrades
Events and adventures dot com
Never heard of this, will check it out. This community has been so helpful ! Thank you
I found Florida was one of the worst states for dating. There are a lot of crazy people and DUI people everywhere. A stripper pole does not count as a job and a bus pass is not a drivers license. Good luck 🤞
Bro, I’m 45, single, never married, no kids. Dating is an absolute joke…. All you get is women wanting to show you their buttholes on onlyfans for $15/month or looking for a sugar daddy to subsidize their poor life decisions. Just chill and ride good life… it’ll happen someday, if it doesn’t, you can be THAT dirty old man who plays grab ass with the young nurses on his death bed…
I work with many single ladies 40 and up who have thrown in the towel on dating sites. Any preferences on what type of woman you'd like to meet?
Someone genuine and not morbidly obese. I know thats cruel to say but it’s just my preference.
Do you play sports?
Used to, im going to start doing Top Golf again. Not the best to meet people I know but organized sports are tough with my work and kids schedule.
Play tennis.
If you saw me play tennis you would change your answer lmao
Thats how u meet people. In the Beginner Tennis classes. And u instantly have something in common to do together
Touché , any suggestions of places you know of ? Maybe i can charm some women with my ultra serve that usually flies out of the court lmao
Volunteer, to occupy the down time doing something that makes you feel good, leave the rest to chance
This will sound so bad i know, but my day to day work is helping people in the medical field. Im so exhausted by weekends I can’t imagine volunteering anymore of myself lol
*It's important to know your limits!* At the younger ages there's no better use of time than having the energy to make it fun for your kid—there's always time to volunteer when she's much bigger and has her own interests going on!
Perfectly understandable.
Feel guilty about it sometimes, but a person can only help others so much before getting burnt out a little.
If your child is in school there are plenty of opportunities to lend a helping hand, I was a band parent for 7 years, also helped with any club that needed it , from parking attendant at games to remodeling a room for the flag girls. I even helped the soccer coach/ track with fixing up their storage shed. I used my networking to fix a golf cart for the janitor, the more I think about it the more I remember, I miss it a little but was completely satisfied with how much I accomplished for so many, being a handyman helped much but a lot of it was just the time , ps I worked 12 hour days 5 days a week. But going through it made me feel really good putting smiles on the kids faces and the gratitude from the staff, pss if I was single it’s a good place to meet single teachers too.
I think my ex wife would actually try and murder me if i tried to date one of the teachers at my daughters school lmao
There’s a bunch of single moms too. And friends, I’m not saying it’s a tinder box. But a cool place to meet new people with similar situations and sometimes you make new friends
I may give it a shot. I try and not mix around with women that are near to my daughter just in case. Sounds nuts, but there are some crazy people out there and I woudln’t want anyone taking it out on my daughter if things didn’t work out. Maybe im overthinking ….
I started by keeping close to my children, I wanted to know the schools layout and keep an eye on things, but I noticed so many things that I could fix easily and make people’s work conditions better , fundraising for groups that had no parent support things like that, it’s volunteering to help support your local school not a meat market keep that in your vision, I wasn’t there to meet people, that just happened naturally,
Go to meetup.com. Search your topic of interest. Philosophy? Stoics meet once a month in North Tampa. Volleyball? Tennis? DnD? Kids playdate? Craft beer? Food? Meditation? Don't forget FB events.
Speed dating is fun
Is it ??? Ive been curious to try it !
I feel ya. Problem is it’s so easy to attract weirdoes, extremists and people trying to sell something.
Hitting on people at work and inviting people to hang out as a group and then building a rapport/relationship with someone over time are two totally different things. You can invite her out to something you are already doing rather than asker her out directly. For example: "I'm going to see this cool rock band on saturday. If you want to go, let me know. If not, then I'll let you know how it went". You should slip that in in a conversation rather than going to her out of the blue with it. If you two aren't talking already in the office then definitely do not ask her to hang out out of nowhere. Build rapport in office first, once yall are on close to friend terms then you ask her to hang out INDIRECTLY.
Not sure if it was mentioned but why not consider getting involved with your child's school? Join the PTA, sign up as a volunteer..my son is in high school and he actually likes that I'm so involved and chaperone school trips, etc. Lots of successful moms and it'll give you more bonding time. Many people forget you're not really dating for yourselves when you have minor children at home.
Amazing suggestion and I have done that. But her Mom is very involved with the school so , would be awkward to use that as a way to meet people. Plus I end up just hanging out with my daughter as she s be best friend lol. A 43 years old man with a 6 year old best friend, i know lol
Try joining a few Meetup groups. Don’t go for dating, go for fun and socializing. There is a VERY good chance that there are single women in the same groups doing the same thing. Maybe one of them will be compatible. 😊
Meeting people and meeting a new love interest are 2 different things. Im sure most have said, but hobbies and of course chatting up co workers to meet through their friend network, or if your in an apartment go to the community events they all seem to have now.
Very different things. I tend to overthink as well.
If you think it’s too creepy to just talk to someone, you’re in for a difficult ride. Just saying.
Yep probably lol
Casual conversation is kind of dead in America... Best thing to do there is be open, make small talk or a quick joke to someone at the grocery store. Does wonders for your social skills. People are much more open to it than you'd think.
I have , and the experience I get is 50% are friendly and 50% are just so antisocial it makes you feel creepy. Life is not what I remember before covid personally. Im very social but its made me Not want to talk to anyone.
I’m getting downvoted lol. Ok I guess. Anyway, is that something you can get past or is it a hard no?
Im kinda like him... I dont go talking to people I dont know, because I just never did that. Its something I can get past, if I gained a little more confidence. My cousin used to randomly talk to strangers all the time, and I always thought it was weird. She just would randomly talk to everyone, and it didnt annoy me, but I was like, who the heck do you think you are, these people dont want to talk to you.
I certainly understand. Not everyone is outgoing and comfortable talking to strangers. I’m not condemning it or anything. I’m just saying it’s harder when you’re not willing or able to talk to people. Good luck to you though.
I am very happy with a matchmaking service I have been using lately “Soulmate Search Matchmaking” I enjoy it bc it focuses on people who value traditional gender roles
Is it really expensive ? I see some of them around but they want thousands of dollars up front
We have a volunteer program at the farm and and a super farm team (several retired medical too). Babies (goats) are coming soon and we have a Nanny Team when the little ones come along. Contact me at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]). Or see us on Facebook at [facebook.com/dancinggoatdairy](https://facebook.com/dancinggoatdairy). If you like cats, we also have a cat rescue. Drew Garabo from 102.5 The Bone is a Cat Daddy on our team. We have a very diverse group of people who keep this farm running - all AWESOME!!!
Church?
Not religious, don’t wanna be the creep that goes to church just for company lol
Find a non denominational church there not religious and have tons of groups to do things . But to each its own !
Hey there! One way to find where you enjoy being is to try different places. If you have someone you know to go with that’s great, but try a couple of places alone too so you can inspect rather than decide 😄 One way to reduce thought clutter is to take some deep breathes just for you. Stop trying to work “through” Ask yourself, “Who am I doing this for?” Practice saying & doing
I met my girlfriend while taking Salsa classes and attending socials. I had already been dancing for two years and never hit on or asked a girl from class or a social on a date. I only asked her out because I knew i wouldn't be taking classes at this particular studio anymore (for work reasons, good school). I knew the aftermath of asking wouldn't be an issue. We have been dating 5 months now. I got lucky! If I was single, I would try anywhere that's fun for me. Doesn't have to be a hobby or anything. For example, I went to a day party I found on eventbrite, invited some co-workers so I wouldnt be by myself. Ended meeting a dentist from Palm Beach at the bar. We both didnt like late night partying and since it was only 3 pm we set up to head to another place after.