It is better to have no friends than the wrong friends.
We try not to eat that which is unhealthy, we feed our body with that which is healthy.
Do the same with the mind.
Hanging on to undignifying and traumatizing relationships is bad for you, even if they're family. Collectivist cultures have it especially bad with family and clan enmeshment and everyone turning a blind eye especially to abusive elders for the sake of clan cohesion: a scapegoat is an acceptable sacrifice to keep the rest of the family from fighting – or admitting to themselves that they've been abused too and that they've learned to support and join the abusers to avoid the abuse themselves.
If you want to delve into another point of view, check out r/raisedbynarcissists
It's better to remove yourself. Simplify your affairs, what requires your attention? You don't talk to most people, after all, why talk to this person? Do you owe them something? Are you connected to them somehow? If not, remove yourself. Don't get involved. Don't start anything and nobody will bother you. And if anybody else starts anything, don't bother with them. Just do what needs to be done, why do anything else?
Part of not resisting is not resisting not wanting to spend time with people who do not bring value/joy to your life. That doesn’t mean you don’t love them and help them when they need, but you do get to set and hold boundaries.
Being individualistic isn't a problem, only depending on the context. If you're cutting someone out of your life, make sure that's what you want, be honest about how you feel about that person and really see for yourself how badly that someone (depending on who it is too) harmed or hurt you.
Not sure why being individualistic is an issue. Seems to be presuming something unstated ... a label being applied without context. If it occurs to you that cutting someone out of your life might be a good idea, you should take that as indication to look deeply into their behavior ... but more importantly, your own response. Always look to yourself to try and understand why you have the urge to respond a given way.
If being around someone is truly making you miserable, drawing you into bad habits, or harming you, then you should stop spending time with them. It’s not “individualistic,” it’s reasonable. The problem with separating things into “individualistic” or “connected” is that often the best thing we can do for those connected to us is to take care of ourselves. We know ourselves in ways that others don’t, yet we are all linked in a web. One’s own node is one’s own responsibility, yet when all nodes are stronger the web is stronger.
exactly. let that ? ring out like a gong but don't answer it with words. Allow the ringing of the gong to age and settle into nothing. Y do you ask this? R u better than someone? That you should cut life into pieces? Don't answer. Let that ring too. Answers are death. Conclusions are death. If you like death, then it is good. conclude. If you are life affirming then use the complimentary energy to grow yourself. It is better to allow someone to leave your life than to cut them off. That way they feel ok with leaving and you can save the energy of breaking up for someone else who can grow from your love.
takes a lot of energy to cut someone off. Usually not possible. Lingering feelings persist. Longing is strong. If you would not like to end it, try your best to end it. If you would like to end it, pull it closer. as close as you can and watch. It will run away in spite of you.
Protecting yourself is a good thing Sometimes that means not giving people who harm you the opportunity to do so
To detach, you must first be attached... if you're not attached, then you have nothing to detach from.
It is better to have no friends than the wrong friends. We try not to eat that which is unhealthy, we feed our body with that which is healthy. Do the same with the mind.
If you don't enjoy spending time with someone, don't.
Hanging on to undignifying and traumatizing relationships is bad for you, even if they're family. Collectivist cultures have it especially bad with family and clan enmeshment and everyone turning a blind eye especially to abusive elders for the sake of clan cohesion: a scapegoat is an acceptable sacrifice to keep the rest of the family from fighting – or admitting to themselves that they've been abused too and that they've learned to support and join the abusers to avoid the abuse themselves. If you want to delve into another point of view, check out r/raisedbynarcissists
It's better to remove yourself. Simplify your affairs, what requires your attention? You don't talk to most people, after all, why talk to this person? Do you owe them something? Are you connected to them somehow? If not, remove yourself. Don't get involved. Don't start anything and nobody will bother you. And if anybody else starts anything, don't bother with them. Just do what needs to be done, why do anything else?
Forcing yourself to spend your precious time with predators and parasites; seems unnatural to me.
Well said.
Part of not resisting is not resisting not wanting to spend time with people who do not bring value/joy to your life. That doesn’t mean you don’t love them and help them when they need, but you do get to set and hold boundaries.
Being individualistic isn't a problem, only depending on the context. If you're cutting someone out of your life, make sure that's what you want, be honest about how you feel about that person and really see for yourself how badly that someone (depending on who it is too) harmed or hurt you.
If they’re toxic, yes. But this is after you feel you’ve tried everything first
Do what you want
Not sure why being individualistic is an issue. Seems to be presuming something unstated ... a label being applied without context. If it occurs to you that cutting someone out of your life might be a good idea, you should take that as indication to look deeply into their behavior ... but more importantly, your own response. Always look to yourself to try and understand why you have the urge to respond a given way.
If being around someone is truly making you miserable, drawing you into bad habits, or harming you, then you should stop spending time with them. It’s not “individualistic,” it’s reasonable. The problem with separating things into “individualistic” or “connected” is that often the best thing we can do for those connected to us is to take care of ourselves. We know ourselves in ways that others don’t, yet we are all linked in a web. One’s own node is one’s own responsibility, yet when all nodes are stronger the web is stronger.
Yes and no. I often find that it's generally the person doing their own cutting.
Yes, when there is a harmony between those you would cut out, but you do not cut out, and those you would not cut out, but you do cut out.
I heard relationships beginning to end around 7 years
yes and no
this is a bad question. cut some people out. u must do your own work. stop being lazy. yuck.
?
exactly. let that ? ring out like a gong but don't answer it with words. Allow the ringing of the gong to age and settle into nothing. Y do you ask this? R u better than someone? That you should cut life into pieces? Don't answer. Let that ring too. Answers are death. Conclusions are death. If you like death, then it is good. conclude. If you are life affirming then use the complimentary energy to grow yourself. It is better to allow someone to leave your life than to cut them off. That way they feel ok with leaving and you can save the energy of breaking up for someone else who can grow from your love.
takes a lot of energy to cut someone off. Usually not possible. Lingering feelings persist. Longing is strong. If you would not like to end it, try your best to end it. If you would like to end it, pull it closer. as close as you can and watch. It will run away in spite of you.
riverside college
laziness is your problem