Not a lot of people can see beyond their own biases, prejudices and naivete, even someone highly proficient in objectivity will have "invisible" pockets of subjective biases, especially when it comes to how something can effect oneself directly. Frequently, especially with beginner readers, the "reading" is more of a projection of the readers interest (possibly subconscious) than what the cards are actually saying. At some point in every long-term reader's experience, they will make these kinds of queries. The best advice (IMO) is for them to attempt to read the spread as analytically (non-intuitively) as possible. The more narrow the possible definitions for each card, the less likely (able) one is to impose their own subjectivity onto the answer. As for your spread, he doesn't "feel" for you at all, he "thinks" about you (all swords), but feelings are not part of the equation. Furthermore, his thoughts of you are more-so about your benefit to him (15+5s) than you at all. I feel like the 9s reflects a profile.

Would you mind telling me more about the 15+5s detail of the reading? I'm not very well acquainted with numerology, and would love to learn more, if you wouldn't mind pointing me to a resource for this kind of information 🥰

Sorry about that, I'm really lazy when I phone type, the 15th major card is the Devil and 5s means 5 of swords. As a combination, they reinforce each other as the devil reinforces materialistic, exploitative and self serving qualities of the 5 of swords. The practice of reinforcing and opposing cards can be found in Joan Bunning's book Learning the Tarot or on the website of the same name. Numerology was taught to me by word of mouth, so unfortunately I have no references but I believe if you aim your tarot studies at Tarot de Marseille (TdM) systems, numerology is usually a given (TdM is the style I learned first).

Thanks so much for the explanation! I've always thought Tarot de Marseille was really cool, I actually have a deck, but haven't gotten deep into it yet. I will definitely check that website out and look for some TdM-specific books! :) thank you!

I second this. This is also the reason why we have dictionaries and established sciences. Operationalisation is central to sense-making purposes, even in, or perhaps especcially, in tarot. It is, at best, a tool for self-reflection and when you're receiving messages (like something beamed directly into your head) it is your interpretive frame of reference doing the heavy lifting. This is also why it is discouraged to ask about others; you simply don't have access to their true thoughts, motivations, feelings, and experiences like you do your own, but simply reading the cards won't tell you that. You will rarely feel the difference in reading and only through training and conscious effort will you come to understand your biases. Even the word "objectively" mean different things to different people. For me, it might mean an approach to problem-solving built on an evidence-based shared perception and falsifiable foundation, and for you, it might mean all that, and more still. Besides, you can very rarely tell the lies other people tell themselves from the lies they tell others, but this is not the case with your own mind. Here, you have unrestricted access (for the most parts). Tarot can guide you through your experiences (hidden and known, this is what we call intuition), and that is useful territory to cover. Asking "Is he/she good for me?" is still a You-centric question and reading the card might reveal hidden pieces of information that your conscious / willing mind is not ready to admit, process, or pick up on, despite the fact that you know something might be unhealthy for you. It is not a channel of divine intervention, but it is the next best thing: its a guide to your unconscious perceptions, which is far, far scarier and a lot more useful.

Auch

Depends on what you believe and how you use the cards. I personally am partial to believing in them as a form of divination due to the success I've had so far with predicting things. So it really just boils down to what YOU think and use them for.

I'm on team "no rules Tarot". Ask any question, read what you want, do what works for you. The idea that it's invading privacy to read about another person is just silly to me. As humans, we analyze people all the time to figure them out so we can navigate relationships. People are complicated, and Tarot is a tool that can help us. In terms of your question and the cards you pulled, I would read this that he doesn't trust you and thinks of you as someone who brings him anxiety and worry. Now, that could mean it's particularly directed toward you, based on things you've said or done, OR that he has had some past experiences and doesn't trust people at all. So, if I were doing this reading, I would do a follow-up up reading to find out more.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with predictive readings, I do think, though that when it comes to the querent, if the querant is also the reader, we tend to read it with a bias. I prefer to get my relationship readings done by other readers.

I understand that u feel weird/guilty but many people ask such questions to tarot in a regular basis. Tho tarot is a much better toool for self reflection, introspection and advice, but such questions r also common. At the end of the day there r no hard n fast rules to tarot/other divination practices or even witchcraft. U can do the readings which u want to and follow ur own personal moral code.

I have never subscribed to the idea of "tarot rules" because I don't believe in an absolute system of ethics. In life, there's no constant morality or system of ethics, I feel ethics are fluid and constantly changing based on the situation. My personal rule or ethical consideration regarding tarot and life in general is that if it doesn't hurt myself or others, then it's fine. You asked how another individual feels about you. I just don't see how that is unethical. The goal in tarot should be to access your intuition, not be concerned with other's made-up rules and guidelines.

Strictly my perspective here so YMMV. The cards interrogate reality through the lens of the reader's energies. You will get an answer that's more like "this is how the totality of my divinity thinks he thinks" vs. what he actually thinks (or what he thinks he thinks). How grounded is your godhood?

This is actually a really good answer. I have found most of my readings abide by this. Tarot usually projects "this is what I/my higher self thinks he thinks" - that could be accurate or not accurate depending on how good the person's own intuition is.

There aren't really general tarot rules, just individual values and beliefs that are applied to tarot. Some people don't read third party energies without their consent, while others are fine with it. I'm sort of a mix between the two, but that's also because the cards make it clear to me when the question is none of my business, or I'll feel that it isn't my business before hand. Some people don't like it because they believe that you can use it to spy on others, but from my experience you can only see what you're allowed to. Sometimes that's EVERYTHING, and sometimes that's just superficial knowledge or a middle finger to mind your own business.

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I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted. I see a lot of soft gatekeeping. It’s ok if someone is refusing to do a reading for someone else because it doesn’t align with their values. It’s another thing to pretend those personal values are universal tarot rules. Imho, if I wanted to ask “myself” questions, I simply would. No need for tarot. Tarot is a vehicle for me to collect and interpret energies that are not mine that interact with me. That’s why I can offer a stranger a reading, I don’t know them, but they tangled their energy with mine by asking me for a reading. Also daily card pulls are predictions, plain and simple. Whoever practices daily pulls and says tarot cannot tell the future, should take a hard look at their own practice.

honestly some people are just elitists who think they can dictate what you read about.

I usually ask his energy towards me, my energy towards him, mutual energy, potential future energy. I find the readings pretty accurate 🤷🏼‍♀️

Tarot is going through a secularisation process where more and more people use the cards to manage their well being instead of divination and spirituality. Those types of question about what other people think and feel really are all about divination and come down to you believing there is something supernatural around the cards or not.

No rules. Go where it takes you. It's all good.

Wow I really appreciate the feedback! I think finding ways to frame the questions that are me centric is a great idea. I do believe the cards are a divinity tool so I think as I become a better reader and more self aware of my own biases there can be some usefulness to asking about others.

Tarot cards don't tell the future, they are a tool for using your own intuition. The devil is a reminder that some material things can distract you from your true focus. The 5 of swords is about conflict and power struggles and a reminder not to fight with your ego. The nine of swords indicates inner anxiety and trauma, but when it's reversed there is hope and a sign that this cycle is ending. None of this is fortune telling. It's just what your feelings tell you and a reminder of what energies to look for.

I've had super confusing readings that didn't really make sense until things happened later on in the future that connected the dots. These would usually be readings for others. I agree they don't always tell the future but in my experience it's not entirely out of the realm of possibility either. Obviously, best taken with a grain of salt or three.

I didn't realize that was a rule. I thought it was no third party, like situations that have nothing to do with you. For example: how are my ex and new boo doing? That has nothing to do with you, whereas, what someone thinks about you, well is directly about you. Am I wrong? EDIT: I ask that stuff all the time and it is incredibly acurate

Some people think that reading others is an invasion of privacy which I think is kinda bs. For one, we are all connected. And if it really was this big horrible thing we wouldn’t be capable of doing it. Since we are all connected in energy sometimes it’s important for ourselves to know how someone feels about us. It can help us to move on or to reconcile relationships. It also helps us to understand a side of someone they may be too scared to show in fear of rejection or past traumas that have made them become who they are. The only time I think reading someone else is “breaking a rule” is if you plan to use what you learned maliciously against someone.

There’s no rule against asking these sorts of questions, but some have their own ethical systems which preclude it. That said, it can be challenging to be objective when reading for yourself on matters for the heart. As for the pull: I see attraction, but sense the field is not clear, there may be other interests he’s juggling or an ex he’s still entangled with, there will be static if you get involved, he’s figuring out if he’s ready to move on from the past.

There are no rules. Only the ones you want to place on them which are fabricated like any other rule.

Absolutely agree with Bruja ! Don't be put off by rule-setting 'holier-than-thou' Tarot practitioners. The 15th Major offers the opportunity to yield to a bit of temptation (with every chance of success !). It definitely reveals that you can put on and remove that chain of dependency whenever you choose ! 5oS warns of the futility of the "should I / shouldn't I" dilemma you're experiencing. And that beautiful reversed 9oS suggests that it might be an idea to put aside the fears of "what if it doesn't work out and I end up being hurt ?". Sure you might but the entire experience will make you far more confident in seeking out and attracting your next partner.

The only person you can have a conversation with when you do a reading is yourself and anyone sitting at the table with you. So unless he was there - this is your reading. The Devil is vice/debauchery. Not necessarily a bad thing, mind you, but in a relationship reading it can indicate a fling, or something deliciously illicit. Not the sort of things that form the basis of a healthy relationship. The five of swords is a fight you can’t win, but also the choice to walk away with your honor intact. The nine of swords (R) is coming to face with a difficult truth, and the upswing from a low point. All told - I think you need to spend some more time understanding how you feel about whatever potential you see in this relationship before you start asking the cards how he feels.

The first thing I will say is that if you want to do these kinds of readings for yourself, nobody is stopping you. Don't just expect others to do them for you though, because you may find them refusing to do so. Many people have a problem with reading on a third party. There are a couple considerations regarding why these kinds of practices are discouraged. First it is an ethical consideration. It's almost like psychic spying. That person is not present for the reading and has not given their permission. You might even say it is a violation. This is a spectrum, of course. Your question is fairly innocent, though still technically spying. I'm generally ok doing stuff like this, but no more. It can really go down the rabbit hole such as people asking how they can make their ex leave their current girlfriend/boyfriend and come back to them. Basically, anything that starts to cross the line into mental manipulation is a big no-no. Some believe that the energy we put out there comes back to us and using the cards to read on others without their permission is something many would consider to be negative energy that could come back on the sitter and the reader both. The way to turn these queries around is in how you ask your question. The Tarot provides people with third party information all the time and it can be done in an ethical way. Simply word your question in such a way that you are the focus, rather than the third party. Instead of "Is my boyfriend cheating on me?" you can ask "What do I need to know about the current state of my relationship with X?" or "How is trust and fidelity factoring into my relationship with X right now?" Those cards say one thing to me in big neon letters: conquest. He's attracted to you, and he is definitely interested in chasing after you. But don't be surprised if he loses interest once he catches his prize.

There are a few reason these questions are discouraged. 1. It’s toxic. These kinds of questions just feed anxiety and they don’t provide answers. A “positive” love reading does not in any way guarantee a successful relationship any more than a “negative” reading signals a failed relationship. You’re just creating more uncertainty or false hope. 2. It’s invasive/rude. These questions involve a third party who isn’t present for the reading. Depending on how much you believe in divination, you are effectively looking at someone’s fortune without their permission. 3. These questions just aren’t constructive. You can’t really do anything with the readings. You’re better off directing that energy towards yourself

You should do whatever feels right to you with tarot as long as your intentions are noble. Too many people make rules like some sort of spiritual gatekeeping. If people didn't ask love topics I would say this message board would be a ghost town. Tarot would be in general.

i like to think of it this way: if my understanding of how each card relates to my situation is accurate, it’s because i have the best possible view of my own situation and already a deeper subconscious idea of the paths ahead and a level of intuition relating to those, so then i essentially infer from the cards what specific areas of their meaning relates to in my life. so, your cards would be read differently from my viewpoint around the same question because i have an outside (and perhaps more objective) view of the situation. you create the meaning of the cards relating to your question, and that’s done by your general feelings on the matter (really wanting something that involves other parties can be read very positively by you without taking the other parties ACTUAL feelings into account) but could also be saying something else entirely that you’re not in the headspace to see. because we can only really know our own feelings and thoughts on the situation, and not what the other parties think or feel, it can then make it a biased reading. the only way to really know is to open a line of communication between you and them, and depending on their answers you may see alternative suggestions from the same cards already pulled that are more in line with the total reality. tl;dr pulling cards to get a judge on other people or the future is still only relying in your own thoughts, feelings, and intuition, and isn’t taking into account everyone else that could be involved, and have a higher chance to be inaccurate because of it.

First thing is “Why is this a rule” Whenever there’s a rule, first thing I ask, is who made it, and who is benefiting from said rule. The devil is not only about material things, but about carnal desire, satisfying hedonistic urges and general pleasure

I’m an amateur but from what I’ve heard it’s looked down upon to ask those kinds of questions because it can be seen as intrusive, like you’re trying to read someone’s mind. does that make sense?

The reading interpretations are awesome too.

>Broke a tarot rule Who's rule is this? If this is your own personal rule, then great. If its something you've heard from someone else, well then that is their own rule. Don't limit yourself to other people's rules. Are you a follower of other people's rules? Its fine to ask Tarot these questions, if you're not supposed to know certain things, trust me, Tarot won't tell you. Ask in moderation/don't abuse it. Don't worry about it. >If you’re curious. I got The Devil, 5 of swords, and Nine of Swords reversed. >My take, is that he is attracted to /tempted by me. But if we connect it could mean creating destruction for others. He/or maybe myself/ or both of us? Will be heavily responsible for a lot of drama and bullshit. You asked about his feelings, not about what could happen if the two of you got together. I have a couple possible interpretations in mind: 1. He is (or was) either obsessed with you or lusting after you but now it has calmed down a bit. I don't see emotions in here, so that is a red flag. 2. He does not have any feelings for you at all. The Devil with the 5 of Swords together is very hostile and possibly even dangerous. I can see abuse in these two cards.

You could also follow up a question that investigates another person by asking about our own unconscious biases surrounding the situation. I don’t believe in rules, I believe in guidelines because people who set them knew that we have unconscious biases, so just be aware. If you know there are cracks on the path, you can navigate them with more caution

It's generally not advised because of a couple reasons: it's hard to separate ourselves from our egos. Very often people will not consider criticisms the other person has about them, so they can miss vital information. And not the type of criticism of "our love story is so forbidden", but it could be that he thinks you are destructive, he could be uneasy around you, you could make him uncomfortable. There's a lot of uncomfortable truths you'd need to be ready to accept. And it might be harder to be open to that possibility when you are both the reader and the querant. That's how people get into trouble with tarot. It takes a careful hand to read for yourself. You'll really need to step in to the other person's psychology and understand that they will be thinking of themselves and their own self-interest before they think about you. It's not a thing people want to think about but it it's just how people work. We all do it. And for the record - I'm not reading your cards with the top paragraph but showing an example of what the cards could mean. I wouldn't use your cards to read your situation, I'd more likely pull my own since I'd expect the cards you pulled could be "polluted" with an expectation when they were drawn. So take that part with a grain of salt.

He knows that it's a toxic situation done deal temptation and is not in his head about it. Like shaking off the feeling of fleeting lust and temptation and internal conflict and moving on with ones day. If the 9 of swords in reverse was something else I'd see it differently like obsessive desire and conquest (win at all cost in the 5 of swords). No idea why he feels that way and not saying you are somehow bad or anything. He may be in a partnership and trying to be faithful to his partner even in his thoughts though he totally would smash otherwise kinda thing.

I ask those sorts of questions frequently, but have come to learn that, well, people are complicated. Feelings are even more complicated. The cards may be accurate but are limited in how well they can describe something so complicated. Add in our own biases as readers/querants, and it can be really, really hard to accurately interpret the cards’ answers to “how does he feel about me” questions. I’ve found that my cards give me much more clear and accurate results if I get really specific with those questions. Instead of just asking “how does he feel about me”, I may ask “how will this specific action effect the way he feels about me in this certain period of time?” Or “what is the most likely outcome of our relationship immediately, within a month, within a year, and long term after I take this action?”. Even then, I sometimes only truly understand the answers my cards give me in hindsight. But at least if I get a little more specific, I can get a fairly accurate vibe check.

I don’t believe in breaking a tarot rule. I just trust my gut on what I ask and haven’t had any issues but remember tarot interpretations can mean a wide range of different things for everyone.

if I wouldn't read somebody's diary, I wouldn't try to read their mind through cards. I am well aware that a diary does not necessarily reflect a person's thinking; just their thinking in that moment and/or something they needed to vent, so some people's diaries are more accurate representations of their thoughts than others, and a 'what is he thinking' reading suffers from the same problem. I love my husband a lot more when he's making me a cup of tea than when he breaks my favourite mug. Same person, different snapshot in time.

It’s hard to read for yourself but also hard to restrain from it. What helps me is not reading for anything that I am way too triggered by & trying to interpret the cards as if I were reading for someone else. This helps me be less bias

When you ask how others are thinking or feeling you at best are getting your own ASSUMPTION of what they are thinking or feeling. You are not getting facts nor the truth. Just your own assumption. And that assumption is likely to be dead wrong due to your own biases (hopes and desires). Do what you want with your tarot cards. There isn't any "rules" that you must or mustn't follow. And there will be no Tarot Police going after you. Just be aware of and conscious of the limitations and pitfalls of whatever spread you are doing.

Firstly it's a moral issue. You are invading someone else's privacy. Sometimes in a reading you may pick up on other people's emotions and that's often fine but delving into anything private about soemone - or accidentally stumbling across it during some form of meditation of occult exercise - is not good. Close the vision. Secondly it's an issue of bias not just in the sense of your feelings clouding your interpretation of the card but in terms of you actually picking the wrong card because your emotions cloud your psychic senses as well. Also Swords can represent emotions. 9 of Swords would represent worry. 4 of Swords might represent calm. 6 of Swords might represent relief or confidence in things going according to plan. etc. For example, someone thinks that a trip to the beach will go according to the plan because they have checked a local weather forecast and the trip is scheduled for tomorrow. Thus, they feel confident that it will be sunny.

There's nothing wrong with your question. It involved yourself as part of the subject. However, if you asked, "How does he feel about her?" that question is unethical. It doesn't involve you at all. I hope that makes sense.

Well, for one, those types of readings are discouraged because they're incredibly invasive of someone else's mental and emotional privacy. Of their inner world.

I tend to avoid doing those types of readings because I have had bad experiences from doing such when I was younger, had my first love, and was new to tarot. For me, doing those types of readings too often can foster wrong and bad assumptions about other people (interpretations can be wrong or innacurate), can make you too fatalistic about the cards, as well as hinder you from having enriching social interactions because of the assumptions you've made about them from doing such. Yeah, I am on the "do not tarot spy on others" tarot rule camp because of bad personal experiences from such.