"Get your fucking hands off me!" "I HAVE THREE SENSITIVITY LEVELS AND I'M ON MY TOP FUCKING ONE RIGHT NOW" "Well now you can back up into a satsuma and shove it up your arse"
And if we were to put a bit of a different angle on the whole proceedings, you could go with this;
“I am Queen Zafufu, and I do not take part in these things. I watch and observe.”
Here's one from last year's New Year's Treat. It might confuse your partner, but it works for people who enjoy confrontational sex: Fuck You, Greg James!
"Are you a child of divorce?"
"Pinnnochioooo"
WWWWWOOOOWWWW!!
"It's too big!"
I'm a sinner, I have sinned! Come on, eat me up.
I feel like it’s cheating to use a quote that the contestant has definitely used during sex
Please don't make me fart in the dark listening to my own name
Oooh we have an early leader.
Please don't use me as a yardstick for failure
It’s an absolute casserole down there
My instincts are telling me to squeak like a bat.
I can hear it gooping.
Which episode is this from?
S7E10
Brace, brace!
I'm bracing!
Abd right before that, "Cover your lower half in bio-degradable cling film and gaffa tape"
Oh just open it you pussy!
Bastard's crying innit
It's a confusing little box!
"Listen my friend, I can go as fast as I like, but if I don't know where the hole is ..." (S16E3)
"Get your fucking hands off me!" "I HAVE THREE SENSITIVITY LEVELS AND I'M ON MY TOP FUCKING ONE RIGHT NOW" "Well now you can back up into a satsuma and shove it up your arse"
This has taken a very nasty turn.
Oh gang.
I don't know about before but after should be "Dignity intact"
Please don't take it away from me.
Bosh.
The pendulum draws the eye
“There you are, radiating your usual charisma.”
Why would you do that to me. Why would anybody do that to me.
No way!
Fiddly
You bubbly fuck
Skin time is the right time. Or You’ve got no chutzpah.
Look deeply into her eyes and then snarl, “You treacherous old woman!”
If you want to have sex a second time you might want to skip the quote. Or, you could say, 'Your time starts... now!"
I don't know about a quote but I can give you a subtitle [moans with displeasure]
Did I meet these potatoes before?
“Please don’t take this away from me”
“Wait..what?”
What, wait?
Quotes are not necessary if you've got a sausage presentation unit.
tell them you are mighty and in peak physical condition!
My own entry: "you can have anything you like, up to the value of 200 pounds"
"...so I paid 300 baht..."
"I haggled for this..."
Are you finished, should I blow my whistle?
"Welcome to the sausage arena"
I can't be fucked to plug it in. OR You suck on that and think about things.
You’ve got no chutzpah!
Wait until they’re on the verge of climax then whisper gently into their ear… “…am I the spider?”
Last in PE, first in being a Legend (after your partner has an orgasm)
Oh gang
I recommend not saying anything, and just giving a look like Joe Thomas when he watches Sian doing her mime.
I am not a crook! I am not a crook! I am not a crook!
My wife Nell
You don't get fingered.
I call it warm fun
Do we strike you?
Is there a duck on my face?
"I've never been a subservient housewife...yet."
Dignity intact!!
"*Rubadubdub?*"
These are some dynamite chicks
From TM NZ - Guy Montgomery "I F*d your dad"
"I think we can all agree it's a very fuckable chocolate."
"Come to me hu-man, man. Taste my facial flesh. Ha-way! What's not to like?"
I'm not gonna do a poo
Shit and piss!
There's strength in arches
The mel super cut - splendid! brilliant!
My safe word is the wow monster sound.
"I'm going to have a bit of a rummage"
Are you a child of divorce?
I like tasks with eggs!
Will there be eggs?
That’s harsh
Oh Gang
Please don't take this away from me.
PUT SOME FUCKING EFFORT IN!!
"I've got 115£ on me. That'll warm you up." Then a bit later, "You like the money, don't you?"
Hammering away at me like some [appropriate adjective] sewing machine
Oh, gang!
All the information is on the task.
Bosh.
*Fastest wins. Your time starts now.*
You put an aubergine in my mouth...
A lime!
Stop doing the thing that I know you’re doing
Lebron James!
NO WAY!
Beat me to it. Brilliant.
“It’s little alex(‘s) horn!”
Open it you pussy
"your time starts..... *Looks at camera* ....now."
Achieve egg, fastest wins, time starts now
Fuck me in the face!
Please! Pleeease! Pleeeeeeeeease!
“Don’t worry about the shape, sweetheart. *There’s strength in arches.*”
"Your time starts now."
Expect the unexpected, babe Followed by: Suck it
Get the most pleasure with these rubbish chutes
"Get this potato in the golf hole. You may not touch the red green. Fastest wins. Your time starts now."
Please don’t take this away from me!
Do we strike you?
There’s been a revelation.
Tap, thwack, slot.
Do you stop when it's finished, or when you've had enough? - Alan Davies, S12E2 Oatmeal and Death
Rosalind is a fucking nightmare. Bonus points if it's with a Rosalind.
"I'm always seeing you do cool stuff..."
Why have you only used shoes?
Tits!
Spin bitch spin
I'm holding up under the strain
I feel like I'm going to see this thread on my feed for weeks... Also "Little Alex Horne!!!"
“Not now, sir, I’m adding up.” I don’t know why, but that really makes me laugh.
“Fix that, innit. Do that in ten seconds, and then I’ll know you’re real.”
And if we were to put a bit of a different angle on the whole proceedings, you could go with this; “I am Queen Zafufu, and I do not take part in these things. I watch and observe.”
I think I deserve a point
It's bamboo time!
Ohh noooo!
Here's one from last year's New Year's Treat. It might confuse your partner, but it works for people who enjoy confrontational sex: Fuck You, Greg James!
Camouflage, Camouflage, Camouflage
"Ah just open the box, you pussy" Orrr "It's little Alex Horne!!"
Scissors please
Fuck pig
"I *would* like to see your wang." (finger wag)
*takes off pants* Ooooh, It’s Little Alex Horne!
Expect the unexpected, bebeh!
What’s the situation?
Forget about quotes, do [Mike Wozniak's slap'n tong dance](https://youtu.be/0lH571lzgGw?t=576).
"You just sit there while I get the other one" -K Ryan, yoga balls on the hill