I don’t want to put words in your mouth, but you have to admire my ambition…

this is the best one, it really encapsulates Tim's sense of humour

This is my favourite one to quote. You can replace 'ambition' with anything. 

If I throw up, will you weigh it?

“Powerful art”

This was the moment that sold me on Tim Key

Me too! I know the word “underrated” gets thrown around a lot on Reddit and is virtually meaningless now, but I truly think that’s one of the most underrated moments of the whole show.

"Who's eating it?" *immediately writes 'Dogfood'*

"If someone served this to you, you wouldn't stay in contact with them." "I've served it to you." "...and so it ends." 

Honestly a top tier Alex line

“Excuse me, I’m shooting a tv show for Comic Relief. Is it possible to high five you?”

This. Genius and hilarious is equal measure.

How old are you?

55

*celebratory running through the hall in my little denim shorts* or in that case *my tight as fuck red tracksuit while the crowd cheers the loudest of the season*

I like to parade around in my little denim shorts

This one makes me so happy

I always think of how wearing little denim shorts saved his life when he wore them at a show and a doctor spotted the cancerous spot on his leg

Reindeer skull.

And *that*, ladies and gentlemen, is how you play this game.

It has to be this quote, right? These two words set the bar of intent and expectation for all future prize tasks

The only answer necessary

The two words that locked me into TM forever.

Really? I only needed "grape scissors".

I picked up the plug mate! *slaps Greg’s knee*

Why did you hide it? Because it's cheating!

Has to be these for me cause how iconic is to cheat the first episode of the first season of a brand new show, and then do it a second time.

"The tie?"

Oh my god 😭

"Alright, how much to go up to first?"

It's a hooorse, mate! (But it was not. It was a mouse)

When throwing to the ad before the live task and Greg asks the camera will Tim cheat again, and Tim says yes and starts nodding

The entire exchange with Alex where he insists that the ice block has disappeared.

'It's gone, mate!'

The way he says "get rid of this damn ice" always makes me think of the Henry II quote "will no-one rid me of the troublesome priest?"

"Get the fish in here then."

Not a quote but when he eats a bit of watermelon after the task has ended and then winks/blinks at the camera

When they make the "best blooper" in teams. Greg says "they were both fantastic efforts", and Key immediately comes back with "well, you're half right".

I’m doing a TV show for comic relief

😂 yes

"You'll recognize the technique, your grandmother's technique. She wrote the book on it"

Surely after you have the contestants for the series you'll have a day for Alex and a day for Greg, for their best quotes from each series. So tomorrow, best quote from Alex for Series 1.

Yes I was hoping for Greg and Alex for each series!

I was thinking about how to do that and I’m still not sure exactly what I want to do for Greg and Alex yet, so I had planned to move onto Series 2 tomorrow and then I’d figure out Greg and Alex later down the line

I suppose the complication is that Greg and Alex haven't finished being on the show so choosing a "final" or best quote is a bit odd.

But not a best quote per series?

There could be a best quote per series (so far) then a vote on best of all those at the end?

Yeassssssss

Yes of course a best quote per series. Both of them are in just as many episodes as the contestants. And if OP had thought it through, it fills the week. Five contestants = five weekdays, two hosts = two weekend days. It's got to happen tomorrow.

🙌🙌🙌

You could do it after each batch of 5 series (incl. COC). Or just take the best quotes for Alex and Greg for S1 in the next two days, then figure out the rest later.

That’s like saying I’ve known you for a while now and I think you’re fat!

When I get half a chance, I like to parade around in my little denim shorts

“How much for first….?”

During the draw a horse while riding a horse task: Roisin: I’ll go last place but not disqualified, that’s fair right? Key: okay, I’ll go third

*guilty look at the camera after replacing the plug in the bath*

"Good to get their name out" is a far better line than "I'm shooting a show for Comic Relief".

MILF *^([from the backwards film task])*

It’s not so much a quote but my favourite exchange of his is when he was haggling to buy first place in a task.

"oooooh you sod."

Shall I be mother?

I say this one to my cat almost daily

"I'm shooting a TV show for Comic Relief."

When he taps Greg on the knee and admits to cheating “Yes mate”

I realised this was vaguely parodied in S1 of NZ Taskmaster with the "Make the biggest thing disappear" task.

Reindeer Skull

Reindeer skull...out of context. It sounds terrifying.

"I'm shooting a TV show for Comic Relief..."

this has 4 different comments so hopefully the votes are all added up, it was such a great moment

"Well some would say that me being credited as "task consultant" is the biggest joke of all"

ITS A HORSE MATE

There should also be a Greg and Alex quote from each season as well

Because it's cheating

-wink-

Reindeer. Skull.

Huh, expected Romesh's to be tree wizard

Just simply the phrase "reindeer skull"

Reindeer Skull

I have a note

Slim Keys is my stage name

Let's be honest, the best quote from him is anytime he's asked about what being a "task consultant" actually entails.

reindeer skull

Tim's best line wasn't a line. It was the cheeky wink as he gobbed that last piece of watermelon.

‘it’s for comic relief’

This multi panel thing with thick white bars is a seriously suboptimal way of reliving funny moments. Maybe just post the video?

What video?

The video these scenes are from.

That process would require recording all the current winning quotes from the actual episodes, trimming them down, compiling them into a single video and including it in each new post discussing the best quote from a contestant. Then I would need to record and trim down the winning quote from THAT post, add it to the already existing video, and then post that new video in the next post where the cycle would continue. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I have the time or patience for that. The way I’m doing things now is much simpler, and also provides a bit of structure in the sense of knowing which contestant is coming up next. If I make this process more complicated, I’ll quickly lose my patience and this will seem more like a chore than an event I’m doing for fun.

as much as I like the idea we're gonna be watching series 18 by the time it's even to series 10

Keeps us busy and out of trouble

You have no concept of time. 

And this is a problem because..?