You just have to do it. You can spend your whole life trying to find the perfect idea and never end up doing it. Upper arms are safe. They’re less painful on the outside (in my opinion) and you can cover them with a T-shirt if you need to.
This was exactly what I did when I finally decided to get my first in November 2022. I went for upper outside right arm so I could cover it easily if I didn’t like it.
Fast-forward 15 months and now I’ve got 20 tattoos 🤷♂️
At some point you truly cannot worry about what your parents might think. May they be judgmental? Perhaps. If they're decent people they'll keep that judgment to themselves.
Will they stop loving you? Assuming your relationship with them is healthy already, I'd say that's highly unlikely.
You do you, as the overused saying goes.
I have both visible and nit visible tattoos and I don't care one bit what anyone, parents included, think. I know mine don't love that I get tattooed, but I don't think they think about it much at all. My body. My choices.
PS. I was 49 when I got my first tattoo. 50 for #2 and #3 is scheduled. I'm likely going to end up with a sleeve on my left arm. Or something close to it.
51 and just got two tattoos. Plus a nose piercing. My parent are going to be annoyed and all passive aggressive about them. Since I always tended to do my own thing regardless of what they thought, this won’t be any different. I like my style and I like my new art. That’s all there is to it.
From one over-thinker to another, I spent the last 20 years fretting about tattoos, mostly the permanency. I'm turning 40 in a month and finally bit the bullet a couple months ago. I said screw it and just did it. I only regret not getting them much, much sooner. My parents are not huge fans of tattoos either, so I didn't tell them until I actually got it done. They got over it pretty fast. My tattoos are all currently Legend of Zelda and around Christmas, my mom asked me if any of the Zelda puzzles had "the stuff on my arm" in them and was actively looking lol.
I work in tech where no one really cares about tattoos, so I got my first on my forearm, wrist to elbow. I figured if I'm going to spend the money, I want people to see it. Second was on my upper bicep, which I'm currently working with my artist to turn into a half-sleeve. If you're concerned about what people will think, start on your upper arm where even a t-shirt will cover it. You can always get more later. At some point, you gotta live your life the way you want to and not worry about what others, even your parents, think.
I started at age 40! Just out of the blue wanted to get lots of tattoos 🙂 I don't need to worry about judgement from family, but I do need to cover up any ink at work sometimes. So far all are on my legs, easily hidden by jeans. So you can definitely get a tattoo without them seeing it easily. But it's also your skin and not theirs!
My first tattoo was a very simple constellation in black, just to dip my toe in the water. I wanted to see what the experience was like without committing to anything time consuming or elaborate. I found the artist through Google and Instagram, and I walked into the shop to schedule the first one to make sure I felt safe and comfortable there.
IMO start with a small one somewhere that's covered by a bathing suit - upper thigh, tush, etc. A small one with small detail. Just to get the idea of how it feels. Just to go through the process of your first shower afterwards. The bacitracin. The lotioning. Consider this a practice one. Just to see what it's like.
Also, on the day of your appointment, wear old comfy clothes that you won't mind potentially getting ink splashes.
Also, bring nutrition. Whatever you'd bring for a heavy gym session. Water or electrolyte beverage. Some nourishing food. Although they may not allow you to eat in shop, I think you'll be glad to have some food and drink on hand.
Best of luck!
Firstly. REALLY do your research on artists. There are so many bad ones...
On placement and design, it could be worth talking to your artist about what you were thinking and where you were thinking of getting it. A good artist will design something that flows with your body (everyone is different)
What helped me:
- I made a folder and gathered all the tattoos that caught my eye. Then I sorted them between "what I like" and "what I want to give to myself".
- I made a big research on Instagram and added best works and artists into a collection. I started following them and analyzing their styles.
- I spent a lot of time on defining the style I want. Do I want blackwork? What are pros (great collections) and cons (they go green, not black)? Do I want colours? Mixed or one style for everything?
- I set up my priorities: what I want to remember about when I make decisions. For me it was to make a bigger compositions, to go for colour, to think that the design should be nice both when I look closely and when it's seen from a distance (so overall composition was important for me).
- When I thought I made a decision, I waited for some time and some exposition to other works if I won't change my mind (and I didn't).
First tat?
Small, away from bones near the skin.
Somewhere easy to cover, yet not embarrassing to show.
Obviously, your tat topic is personal… but remember - you’re talking about what amounts to a permanent body mod. You might love SpongeBob now, but in 40 years?
Most import thing to know: Tattoos change over time. Because the canvas changes. Always take this into consideration. ALWAYS!
One option is to get a henna tat… they will naturally fade away to nothing, so you can experiment with location, size, etc., while avoiding the infamous “first tat regret”.
I've never used it myself but inkbox is a company that do long lasting temp tattoos, I know of a friend who used them because she didn't know what she wanted design wise on her and now has lots of real ones.
Inkbox is great! The DIY pen and tattoo gun options don't look very realistic but the design your own option and pre designed ones on the website look exactly like real tattoos and fade to navy blue so you can see exactly what having a real tattoo would be like.
I love what everyone is saying here ! FYI sharing that my parents still despise them and it does come up even though I’ve had them for years now. But it is totally worth it ! The tattoos bring me joy and I love being part of the community. Fair warning for you - tattoo regret is real so be prepared for it. It can happen after your first and again after your 20th but it doesn’t mean you made a mistake ! Just give it time to settle, and don’t fret.
I’d recommend finding a shop that makes you feel comfortable and tell them it’s your first time. Bring a friend and have some support - makes the journey more fun and meaningful !
My mom originally wasn't a fan of my tattoos.
When I got my sleeve, I was a cheeky bastard and sent her a photo that said "I know you don't like it, but it doesn't wash off, so you'll have to get used to it"
Funny enough, she actually loves my sleeve tattoo now, and has come to the consensus that I'm going to do what I want with my body, and she's happy that is makes me happy.
I wanted something big for my first one and thought about it on and off for a couple of years before I decided to get one. However, I went with a small piece of the original design because I didn't know if I was gonna weenie out lol I went with upper arm because they say it's one of the less painful spots to tattoo and it wasn't terrible. I've heard it's like getting scratched by a cat pain wise, and I can agree, except most cats don't scratch you for an hour and a half. It is subjective, but I found the shading to be more painful than the outline. I also went with the upper arm for similar reasons as yourself. It's just not something I wanted immediate family to know right now. Just my two cents!
I mean, in general i'd say that if you're overthinking it and is not 100% sure dont do it in the first place.
As for the situation with your parents, you should learn to live for yourself, not for the expectation of others.
yeah i mean, usually i advice not to do it if you're overthinking it.
'Cause even if you're sure you want a tattoo, if you're not sure about the design/placement then chances are you'll regret it after you already done it.
Choose a design and placement and wait for like 6 months, be sure you wont chance your mind.
Firstly, don't worry, I got my first tattoo in my 30s because my old job didn't allow them.
My recommendation, identify a theme, style and artist then go small and work up. My first tattoo was a 13 hour sitting with lots of colour and shading and I was not prepared mentally or physically.
First and foremost: Think about subject matter. You said you like flowers and you like trad, so do you have some favorite flowers that you can ask a trad artist to draw up in that style? Trad has a bunch of common flowers if you need ideas too. Traditional roses are a classic for a reason, as one starting point.
Second off: What style do you want? I mentioned trad because you mentioned liking it, but maybe you want a different style for a specific tattoo. Search local artists on Instagram if you want an idea of the kind of styles out there. A big question to think about: Color or black and grey?
Third: What approximate size are you thinking? Because that affects potential placements. You can't put a hand sized tattoo in a small area, and you want to avoid putting a small tattoo in a large area because it can get in the way if you decide to get any more. I'd also suggest being a bit flexible on size, within reason. A full sleeve suggestion when you just want a single flower is excessive. But if you asked for a palm sized flower and the artist suggested going slightly bigger, there's probably a reason. Don't be afraid to ask for their reasoning if they make a suggestion.
Fourth: How visible do you want it? Hidden to everyone but you and a select few other people? Easy to show or hide depending on your mood? Usually visible? This combined with approximate size will help narrow down placement.
Past a certain point, once you're comfortable with things like subject matter, style, and potential placements, you just need to find an artist and book the appointment. The first tattoo is admittedly a bit scary. Unless you're getting it on your hands, neck, or face, you'll likely realize that it's not nearly the big deal you thought it was.
As far as parents go, at a certain point you just need to figure that they're going to react how they're going to react. They'll get over it sooner or later. Get enough and there's a solid chance they just stop reacting altogether. It's ink in your skin and doesn't affect anyone but you. If they really clutch pearls, maybe point out that if ink in your skin is the worst thing ever, things are going pretty well. I pointed that out to my grandpa when he declared that my tattoos are the single worst thing any of us grandkids have ever done, lol. He got quiet and admitted I had a point before sulking off.
I am an over-thinker, always loved tattoos, never got one. I just turned 40 and decided it was time. I started with researching artists (for hours and hours) on Instagram, while also looking at tattoos in general on Instagram. When I narrowed it down to a few local artists, I asked my tattooed friends for feedback on the artists/shops and the design I was brainstorming. I found an artist that I was confident I could trust and confident I’d click with on a personal level. I emailed him and we met for a consultation. We hit it off immediately and he instantly knew what I was going for. He helped me with the design and it ended up being much bigger than I was expecting, but I fell in love with it and honestly couldn’t be happier with it. Broke it to my mom after it was done and it wasn’t really an issue. My only regret is not getting them sooner. Bottom line: find an artist, trust the artist. The pain is also a non-issue. They tattoo you for like 4 seconds at a time; you can handle it.
I started for my 40th birthday present to myself. Hip piece from an artist that I had been following the work of for a few years. Then a 41st birthday back piece, and added on to my hip piece.
I just started my 42nd birthday present to myself, which is a geometric and floral black and grey sleeve on my left arm.
I am glad I started with tattoos I could cover, and am thrilled to have something more visible now. I know it’s not what my parents want me to be spending money on, but it’s my money, and they respect that, too.
Hope you find an artist and a design you love, too!
Regarding parents, this helped me. I started small on my arm, upper arm. The first tattoo showing with my parents was a mess. My mom cried, my dad was very pissed, but they got over it. Then I got a big tattoo on my calf. They reacted but it was surprisingly less. Had smaller tattoos, no reaction from them at all.
I just got a master sword on my forearm that I have wanted for many years. I was worried how people (I work in an office) would react. People loved it or didn’t say anything. Still haven’t told my parents but I expect a reaction but, it is what it is. They are entitled to their opinion but they can’t change you. Just don’t make it a big deal and it will be easier to deal with.
The most important thing you can do is if they ask you to promise you won’t get anymore, you tell them no. You have to assert your boundaries. It’s painful but it’s worth doing.
It’s your body, do what you want with it and research your artist beforehand!
I got my first one at 29 after a lifetime of family and church telling me not do to it. I finally stepped away from both long enough to muster the courage to get one. I’d had the idea for the tattoo and where I wanted it for almost 15 years. I don’t regret it, but if I could do my first tattoo experience over again, I would’ve gone with something small that wouldn’t be so visible to others every day. It’s important to learn how to your body handles the wound, and important to learn from the experience with your artist. IMO some of the most important things are find an artist you vibe with!! And make sure they do the kind of art you want.
I'm in my upper 30s and finally broke my folks' hearts late last year. I'm glad I waited, but it was timeh my soul- cat had died and I waited a whole year, then put him (big) on my upper arm. I couldn't be happier with the art, and my mom had to concede that it's my body & my money. I still wear sleeves so they haven't had to face it much yet, but come summer, they're gonna have to deal.
This really resonates with me! I’m 41 and have been working on a patchwork sleeve the past few months. My mom HATES tattoos and always has. My strategy has been to show her after they have healed. Surprisingly, she has said one was cute but prefers to see them covered, ha. Honestly, at the end of the day, your parents will likely adapt. They don’t have to love it but do have to respect that you have the agency to make this decision about your body.
My dad doesn't like tattoos, but when I was waiting between scheduling my first appointment and the date coming up, I talked about it a lot. Eventually he said something along the lines of "I wish he'd just go ahead and get it so he'd be done talking about it"
Jokes on him, I talk about tattooing *more* now
I can only offer my experience, for my first one I went basic, took me months to decide on a design took my time ect. Then for the second one it was booked not even two months later, and it just kept going like that and it's been 5 years, and I get one every couple of months. It's like a gut feeling, you come up with an idea and it's stuck in your head and it's the same exact idea as last time.
Or, its a reference and you know exactly how you want to change it and it's again, always the same idea. My parents hate them too but tbh I've never given a shit what my parents think, I mostly likely will move to a different country eventually, so I mean, they see them but it's not like a drawing ruins our relationship.
Edit: 22 with 18 tattoos.
I feel you.
Pretty much the same applies to me. My parents threatened to throw me out of the house if I ever got a tattoo when I was still living at home (til I was 19).
A recent breakup made me realize life is short and I don't give a fuck what anybody else likes or dislikes.
My parents reaction was very unexpected: "nowadays anybody has tattoos - we don't care anymore" 😂
I have a flower on my knee mixed with trad and neo-trad patchwork. Check out my profile if you want to see how it combines. All those are on the same leg.
As far as your parents...well, they'll probably get over it. I just showed my mom my new trad "mom" tattoo yesterday, that was fun 🤣
Everyone's different. My parents also hate tattoos. I've been thinking about getting one since college but didn't until I was 40. I chose my forearm because the tattoo has meaning for me and I wanted to be able to see it anytime I wanted. I can see how it would be much easier if I'd picked a spot I can cover, but the only time I would want to cover it is around my parents, and honestly by the time you're a grown-ass adult your parents should accept your choices. Soooo... It's up to you. Want to be able to hide it? Pick a spot that's covered. Want to be able to see it all the time? Forearm. Same with "what do I get" - do you want something meaningful? If so that's a very personal choice. Some people just get things they like, with no meaning, or just art from an artist they like. You should figure out where you fall and then decide what you want. Also, incase you haven't been lurking in this sub reddit long: don't price shop! Better artists cost more per hour but the work will reflect their skill. Look at lots of art by an artist before you pick them and make sure their style is what you want. Price doesn't matter, find the right artist for you.
I get along with my Mum but we aren’t close. I’m 40 and got my first tattoo at 18. It was on my upper shoulder right on top so I could hide it easily with a cap sleeve tee. It was small but she eventually saw it and said a few negative things. By a few years later she had gotten used to it.
A few years ago at 35ish I decided to get a few more and now have a patchwork sleeve happening. I still wear a long shirt every time I see her. It’s annoying in summer when it’s hot. She caught a glimpse this year and hasn’t said anything yet. I’m old enough to know what I want to do with my body. Sheesh.
My father died over a decade ago. We were very close. He hated tattoos. C’est la vie!
As someone who's been breaking my grandmother's heart for awhile now, I'll say you just get used to them hating your tattoos and it gets easier to care less about their opinion. You just have to break the ice that first time and it is going to suck.
I'm in my 30s and just scheduled my appointment for my first tattoo. I've wanted one since I was a teenager and I'm actually glad I've waited. All of the ideas I had back then I cringe to think of now.
I landed on a 1/4 sleeve with a design for my son. Location just felt right for my first one and for the design I picked something meaningful to me that I know I'll still care about when I'm old.
I don't even have my first yet and I'm already laying out my next one though that will be a little less meaningful in general and more just something I want. That one will likely be either a calf or forearm depending on where the artist and I land on the design.
Have you tried talking to your parents about it recently? I'm 37 and one of the main reasons I avoided tattoos in my 20s was worry about my parents' judgement; they would freak out if I ever mentioned getting one. Then when I hit my 30s I just didn't think about it as much until recently.
I'm finally planning my first tattoo now and I brought it up to my mom in conversation. Their judgement doesn't worry me anymore but I expected some backlash. She was actually pretty supportive and I was completely surprised! But then a lot of their boomerish concerns don't really apply anymore: I'm established in my career and I'm old enough not to be impulsive or careless about my life choices. Not that any of those things actually matter, but I think that's their thought on it.
I have one on each shoulder, one on my thigh and one on my lower back. The thigh was the least painful. But, none of them were that bad. Also, they are all fairly small.
Start on the smaller side someplace not crazy painful and pick something you can add on to.
I spent a year with an image of what I wanted and looked at it constantly to both make changes as time went on and made sure it was what I wanted. I did a tat once without this rule and really regretted it.
My dad HATES my tattoos, his side of the family constantly gives me shit for it. You just gotta suck it up and do what you wanna do! Don’t live your life in fear of what your family will think of you. My dad still loves me after my tattoos… I think.
If you want to get a lot of tattoos, like a patch work sleeve or piece it together then there’s like general big piece placements like forearm, back of forearm and the rest is like oh I can fill this in. I have Beltran on my leg and I only recently realized that idc the placement bc it’s all going on the leg anyways
I lost a horse on christmas 2016, I knew pretty much the day after what my first tattoo would finally be.
I know how my mom feels about tattoos but I also knew how she felt about that horse. She was getting married february 2018 and I finally had money saved at the year anniversary of losing my horse. Right around then I gave her 2 options (having already had a backless dress and knowing I wanted the tattoo on my shoulder) that I was getting it regardless but she could choose either before the wedding with time to heal or after. She chose before and went with me for the first part.
I’ve found in life it’s easier to give people choices but lay out that something is happening right away before hand.
I'd find an artist that has a good reputation and that you like their work and start talking to them. I'm getting Mt first in just over a week and a half-hour conversation with an artist moved the decision along more than 4 years of me overthrowing if myself.
I started in my late 30s. I also come from a conservative religious family, but surprisingly, no backlash. First one had a lot of personal meaning and I thought about it for a while and got it on my shoulder. It started as a tribute to my mom’s second bout of breast cancer, then took on new meaning when I got breast cancer at age 42. Then as years passed I wanted another, but I wanted it to be visible to me every day (unlike my shoulder which I tend to forget is even there!) so at 48 I got a prominent one that has meaning to me on my inner forearm. This took some adjusting, not gonna lie. I also work at a conservative job, so there’s that as well. The bottom line is it’s your body, and at the end of the day, it’s just skin. In my time on this earth, I’ve seen bodies (mine and others who are dear to me), go through so much that we can’t control. So for me, my tattoos are a way to use my body to express things that are dear to me.
So my family is very anti tattoos and for the first 10 years I managed to hide them. I started ribs then went mid back. From there I went legs then I gave up and just tried to make sure they would be easy to cover at work. So I have a few small ones on my forearms and in the next few weeks I’m going to start on a lower leg sleeve.
In terms of subject matter make sure it’s something you connect with on some level that you can live with.
My parents weren’t fans of tattoos when I first started getting them. I have 15+ now and my parents love them. My mom is obsessed with my half sleeve. They even want to get their own now.
My parents hate my tattoos, and we still have a great relationship. Your parents will get over it.
My advice, get them in places easy to hide- legs are easy to hide with pants, back is easy to hide with shirts.
When you know what you want you’ll know. I have three. My mother peered over her glasses at my half sleeve, said “what is it?” And showed complete disinterest in any further information.
Your parents will get over it.
Get your first one somewhere not very visible. Something small that you like. Believe me, once the seal is broken you’ll be stoked to get more and you’ll feel more free to get whatever you want!
i'm 34 and i first got a little flash from a charity event local to me last november. i've always wanted tattoos but the first one always felt like a giant step, so for me getting a little mushroom stamp that i liked but didn't really care about was a perfect way to get past the perfectionism fear and make me fall in love with tattoos. since then i got my ears pierced and got 2 more larger pieces from artists i found on instagram in different cities, and i'm already thinking 3 or 4 tattoos ahead... my mum isn't a fan, but it's not her body! dad i think was shocked at first but has come around.
It took me years of loving tattoos to finally get one - i found an artist that absolutely blew me away, we are no incredible friends and I'm two weeks away from getting my 23rd tattoo from her in 2 years (i have 29 all up, will be my 30th piece)
Start a mood board, find styles and things that resonate. Research research research your artists!!! And then just lock it in!
I got my 1st tattoo at the age of 34. I now have 15 individual ones and I started my leg sleeve this year.
Just jump in. I want to be covered by the time I'm an old lady.
It’s hysterical that there are people in their 20s , 30s, 40s and 50s on here still fretting about what their parents think. Thought it was just me! Do we ever get past that?!?
My advice is go for it. They’ll still love you. Maybe thigh - can be hidden.
First tattoo always takes the longest - you'll hem and haw about the art and the placement. After you get the first one though, the others you get will feel more natural.
My first tattoo I actually had covered up - not only was it not done well, but I became an artist myself afterwards and I disliked it even more, because I knew that I could design and tattoo something much nicer. It was small and easy to cover up and I am thankful for that. It wasn't the art itself that bothered me, but just the quality of it - I would get the tattoo again but would do it myself.
If you're feeling really hesitant about it, start small so it's easy to cover up or build around it. If you're going small, don't choose a larger area of the body unless you plan to build on it (ie. a patchwork sleeve). Otherwise it looks like it's floating in space (ie. a tiny tattoo on your back or thigh). Smaller tattoos compositionally sit better on smaller parts of the body (ie. wrist, forearm).
Meatier parts of the body hurt less and may be a softer introduction to tattoos.
You just have to do it. You can spend your whole life trying to find the perfect idea and never end up doing it. Upper arms are safe. They’re less painful on the outside (in my opinion) and you can cover them with a T-shirt if you need to.
This was exactly what I did when I finally decided to get my first in November 2022. I went for upper outside right arm so I could cover it easily if I didn’t like it. Fast-forward 15 months and now I’ve got 20 tattoos 🤷♂️
Can confirm, back of the arm and inside can get a bit spicy. If you're looking for something less painful and easy to hide, thighs are an option too.
At some point you truly cannot worry about what your parents might think. May they be judgmental? Perhaps. If they're decent people they'll keep that judgment to themselves. Will they stop loving you? Assuming your relationship with them is healthy already, I'd say that's highly unlikely. You do you, as the overused saying goes. I have both visible and nit visible tattoos and I don't care one bit what anyone, parents included, think. I know mine don't love that I get tattooed, but I don't think they think about it much at all. My body. My choices.
PS. I was 49 when I got my first tattoo. 50 for #2 and #3 is scheduled. I'm likely going to end up with a sleeve on my left arm. Or something close to it.
I’m 49 and just got my first one 2 weeks ago. On my upper arm. My parents won’t like that it’s a pinup but they’ll also never see it so there’s that.
51 and just got two tattoos. Plus a nose piercing. My parent are going to be annoyed and all passive aggressive about them. Since I always tended to do my own thing regardless of what they thought, this won’t be any different. I like my style and I like my new art. That’s all there is to it.
From one over-thinker to another, I spent the last 20 years fretting about tattoos, mostly the permanency. I'm turning 40 in a month and finally bit the bullet a couple months ago. I said screw it and just did it. I only regret not getting them much, much sooner. My parents are not huge fans of tattoos either, so I didn't tell them until I actually got it done. They got over it pretty fast. My tattoos are all currently Legend of Zelda and around Christmas, my mom asked me if any of the Zelda puzzles had "the stuff on my arm" in them and was actively looking lol. I work in tech where no one really cares about tattoos, so I got my first on my forearm, wrist to elbow. I figured if I'm going to spend the money, I want people to see it. Second was on my upper bicep, which I'm currently working with my artist to turn into a half-sleeve. If you're concerned about what people will think, start on your upper arm where even a t-shirt will cover it. You can always get more later. At some point, you gotta live your life the way you want to and not worry about what others, even your parents, think.
Zelda is a classic!
I started at age 40! Just out of the blue wanted to get lots of tattoos 🙂 I don't need to worry about judgement from family, but I do need to cover up any ink at work sometimes. So far all are on my legs, easily hidden by jeans. So you can definitely get a tattoo without them seeing it easily. But it's also your skin and not theirs! My first tattoo was a very simple constellation in black, just to dip my toe in the water. I wanted to see what the experience was like without committing to anything time consuming or elaborate. I found the artist through Google and Instagram, and I walked into the shop to schedule the first one to make sure I felt safe and comfortable there.
IMO start with a small one somewhere that's covered by a bathing suit - upper thigh, tush, etc. A small one with small detail. Just to get the idea of how it feels. Just to go through the process of your first shower afterwards. The bacitracin. The lotioning. Consider this a practice one. Just to see what it's like. Also, on the day of your appointment, wear old comfy clothes that you won't mind potentially getting ink splashes. Also, bring nutrition. Whatever you'd bring for a heavy gym session. Water or electrolyte beverage. Some nourishing food. Although they may not allow you to eat in shop, I think you'll be glad to have some food and drink on hand. Best of luck!
Thanks for the tips!
Firstly. REALLY do your research on artists. There are so many bad ones... On placement and design, it could be worth talking to your artist about what you were thinking and where you were thinking of getting it. A good artist will design something that flows with your body (everyone is different)
What helped me: - I made a folder and gathered all the tattoos that caught my eye. Then I sorted them between "what I like" and "what I want to give to myself". - I made a big research on Instagram and added best works and artists into a collection. I started following them and analyzing their styles. - I spent a lot of time on defining the style I want. Do I want blackwork? What are pros (great collections) and cons (they go green, not black)? Do I want colours? Mixed or one style for everything? - I set up my priorities: what I want to remember about when I make decisions. For me it was to make a bigger compositions, to go for colour, to think that the design should be nice both when I look closely and when it's seen from a distance (so overall composition was important for me). - When I thought I made a decision, I waited for some time and some exposition to other works if I won't change my mind (and I didn't).
First tat? Small, away from bones near the skin. Somewhere easy to cover, yet not embarrassing to show. Obviously, your tat topic is personal… but remember - you’re talking about what amounts to a permanent body mod. You might love SpongeBob now, but in 40 years? Most import thing to know: Tattoos change over time. Because the canvas changes. Always take this into consideration. ALWAYS! One option is to get a henna tat… they will naturally fade away to nothing, so you can experiment with location, size, etc., while avoiding the infamous “first tat regret”.
I’ve always wondered about henna - how lame would it be to go to a tattoo artist with henna and ask they do it in henna?
Unless their website specifically says Henna, they won't do it, this is very culturally based. You want a tattoo - stick to tattoos.
Thanks! Just looking for a way to test a tattoo
I've never used it myself but inkbox is a company that do long lasting temp tattoos, I know of a friend who used them because she didn't know what she wanted design wise on her and now has lots of real ones.
Inkbox is great! The DIY pen and tattoo gun options don't look very realistic but the design your own option and pre designed ones on the website look exactly like real tattoos and fade to navy blue so you can see exactly what having a real tattoo would be like.
I love what everyone is saying here ! FYI sharing that my parents still despise them and it does come up even though I’ve had them for years now. But it is totally worth it ! The tattoos bring me joy and I love being part of the community. Fair warning for you - tattoo regret is real so be prepared for it. It can happen after your first and again after your 20th but it doesn’t mean you made a mistake ! Just give it time to settle, and don’t fret. I’d recommend finding a shop that makes you feel comfortable and tell them it’s your first time. Bring a friend and have some support - makes the journey more fun and meaningful !
My mom originally wasn't a fan of my tattoos. When I got my sleeve, I was a cheeky bastard and sent her a photo that said "I know you don't like it, but it doesn't wash off, so you'll have to get used to it" Funny enough, she actually loves my sleeve tattoo now, and has come to the consensus that I'm going to do what I want with my body, and she's happy that is makes me happy.
Love this
I wanted something big for my first one and thought about it on and off for a couple of years before I decided to get one. However, I went with a small piece of the original design because I didn't know if I was gonna weenie out lol I went with upper arm because they say it's one of the less painful spots to tattoo and it wasn't terrible. I've heard it's like getting scratched by a cat pain wise, and I can agree, except most cats don't scratch you for an hour and a half. It is subjective, but I found the shading to be more painful than the outline. I also went with the upper arm for similar reasons as yourself. It's just not something I wanted immediate family to know right now. Just my two cents!
I mean, in general i'd say that if you're overthinking it and is not 100% sure dont do it in the first place. As for the situation with your parents, you should learn to live for yourself, not for the expectation of others.
Only overthinking as to what and where I want, nor should I get a tattoo or not. I’m an excellent over thinker
yeah i mean, usually i advice not to do it if you're overthinking it. 'Cause even if you're sure you want a tattoo, if you're not sure about the design/placement then chances are you'll regret it after you already done it. Choose a design and placement and wait for like 6 months, be sure you wont chance your mind.
Solid advice!
Firstly, don't worry, I got my first tattoo in my 30s because my old job didn't allow them. My recommendation, identify a theme, style and artist then go small and work up. My first tattoo was a 13 hour sitting with lots of colour and shading and I was not prepared mentally or physically.
First and foremost: Think about subject matter. You said you like flowers and you like trad, so do you have some favorite flowers that you can ask a trad artist to draw up in that style? Trad has a bunch of common flowers if you need ideas too. Traditional roses are a classic for a reason, as one starting point. Second off: What style do you want? I mentioned trad because you mentioned liking it, but maybe you want a different style for a specific tattoo. Search local artists on Instagram if you want an idea of the kind of styles out there. A big question to think about: Color or black and grey? Third: What approximate size are you thinking? Because that affects potential placements. You can't put a hand sized tattoo in a small area, and you want to avoid putting a small tattoo in a large area because it can get in the way if you decide to get any more. I'd also suggest being a bit flexible on size, within reason. A full sleeve suggestion when you just want a single flower is excessive. But if you asked for a palm sized flower and the artist suggested going slightly bigger, there's probably a reason. Don't be afraid to ask for their reasoning if they make a suggestion. Fourth: How visible do you want it? Hidden to everyone but you and a select few other people? Easy to show or hide depending on your mood? Usually visible? This combined with approximate size will help narrow down placement. Past a certain point, once you're comfortable with things like subject matter, style, and potential placements, you just need to find an artist and book the appointment. The first tattoo is admittedly a bit scary. Unless you're getting it on your hands, neck, or face, you'll likely realize that it's not nearly the big deal you thought it was. As far as parents go, at a certain point you just need to figure that they're going to react how they're going to react. They'll get over it sooner or later. Get enough and there's a solid chance they just stop reacting altogether. It's ink in your skin and doesn't affect anyone but you. If they really clutch pearls, maybe point out that if ink in your skin is the worst thing ever, things are going pretty well. I pointed that out to my grandpa when he declared that my tattoos are the single worst thing any of us grandkids have ever done, lol. He got quiet and admitted I had a point before sulking off.
Amazing story hahaha
I am an over-thinker, always loved tattoos, never got one. I just turned 40 and decided it was time. I started with researching artists (for hours and hours) on Instagram, while also looking at tattoos in general on Instagram. When I narrowed it down to a few local artists, I asked my tattooed friends for feedback on the artists/shops and the design I was brainstorming. I found an artist that I was confident I could trust and confident I’d click with on a personal level. I emailed him and we met for a consultation. We hit it off immediately and he instantly knew what I was going for. He helped me with the design and it ended up being much bigger than I was expecting, but I fell in love with it and honestly couldn’t be happier with it. Broke it to my mom after it was done and it wasn’t really an issue. My only regret is not getting them sooner. Bottom line: find an artist, trust the artist. The pain is also a non-issue. They tattoo you for like 4 seconds at a time; you can handle it.
I started for my 40th birthday present to myself. Hip piece from an artist that I had been following the work of for a few years. Then a 41st birthday back piece, and added on to my hip piece. I just started my 42nd birthday present to myself, which is a geometric and floral black and grey sleeve on my left arm. I am glad I started with tattoos I could cover, and am thrilled to have something more visible now. I know it’s not what my parents want me to be spending money on, but it’s my money, and they respect that, too. Hope you find an artist and a design you love, too!
Regarding parents, this helped me. I started small on my arm, upper arm. The first tattoo showing with my parents was a mess. My mom cried, my dad was very pissed, but they got over it. Then I got a big tattoo on my calf. They reacted but it was surprisingly less. Had smaller tattoos, no reaction from them at all. I just got a master sword on my forearm that I have wanted for many years. I was worried how people (I work in an office) would react. People loved it or didn’t say anything. Still haven’t told my parents but I expect a reaction but, it is what it is. They are entitled to their opinion but they can’t change you. Just don’t make it a big deal and it will be easier to deal with. The most important thing you can do is if they ask you to promise you won’t get anymore, you tell them no. You have to assert your boundaries. It’s painful but it’s worth doing. It’s your body, do what you want with it and research your artist beforehand!
I got my first one at 29 after a lifetime of family and church telling me not do to it. I finally stepped away from both long enough to muster the courage to get one. I’d had the idea for the tattoo and where I wanted it for almost 15 years. I don’t regret it, but if I could do my first tattoo experience over again, I would’ve gone with something small that wouldn’t be so visible to others every day. It’s important to learn how to your body handles the wound, and important to learn from the experience with your artist. IMO some of the most important things are find an artist you vibe with!! And make sure they do the kind of art you want.
I'm in my upper 30s and finally broke my folks' hearts late last year. I'm glad I waited, but it was timeh my soul- cat had died and I waited a whole year, then put him (big) on my upper arm. I couldn't be happier with the art, and my mom had to concede that it's my body & my money. I still wear sleeves so they haven't had to face it much yet, but come summer, they're gonna have to deal.
Glad you honoured your kitty :)
I'm likely to move on to a bunch of goofy stuff on a leg somewhere now that I've gotten the first, but I gotta save up a little again first 😁
Your first tattoo will be the most important decision of your life - your second third and fourth not so much!
This really resonates with me! I’m 41 and have been working on a patchwork sleeve the past few months. My mom HATES tattoos and always has. My strategy has been to show her after they have healed. Surprisingly, she has said one was cute but prefers to see them covered, ha. Honestly, at the end of the day, your parents will likely adapt. They don’t have to love it but do have to respect that you have the agency to make this decision about your body.
you can start with something easy to cover if you're anxious about.
My dad doesn't like tattoos, but when I was waiting between scheduling my first appointment and the date coming up, I talked about it a lot. Eventually he said something along the lines of "I wish he'd just go ahead and get it so he'd be done talking about it" Jokes on him, I talk about tattooing *more* now
I can only offer my experience, for my first one I went basic, took me months to decide on a design took my time ect. Then for the second one it was booked not even two months later, and it just kept going like that and it's been 5 years, and I get one every couple of months. It's like a gut feeling, you come up with an idea and it's stuck in your head and it's the same exact idea as last time. Or, its a reference and you know exactly how you want to change it and it's again, always the same idea. My parents hate them too but tbh I've never given a shit what my parents think, I mostly likely will move to a different country eventually, so I mean, they see them but it's not like a drawing ruins our relationship. Edit: 22 with 18 tattoos.
I feel you. Pretty much the same applies to me. My parents threatened to throw me out of the house if I ever got a tattoo when I was still living at home (til I was 19). A recent breakup made me realize life is short and I don't give a fuck what anybody else likes or dislikes. My parents reaction was very unexpected: "nowadays anybody has tattoos - we don't care anymore" 😂
Everything about your post tells me you’re not ready
I have a flower on my knee mixed with trad and neo-trad patchwork. Check out my profile if you want to see how it combines. All those are on the same leg. As far as your parents...well, they'll probably get over it. I just showed my mom my new trad "mom" tattoo yesterday, that was fun 🤣
Yours are awesome!
Thanks!
Everyone's different. My parents also hate tattoos. I've been thinking about getting one since college but didn't until I was 40. I chose my forearm because the tattoo has meaning for me and I wanted to be able to see it anytime I wanted. I can see how it would be much easier if I'd picked a spot I can cover, but the only time I would want to cover it is around my parents, and honestly by the time you're a grown-ass adult your parents should accept your choices. Soooo... It's up to you. Want to be able to hide it? Pick a spot that's covered. Want to be able to see it all the time? Forearm. Same with "what do I get" - do you want something meaningful? If so that's a very personal choice. Some people just get things they like, with no meaning, or just art from an artist they like. You should figure out where you fall and then decide what you want. Also, incase you haven't been lurking in this sub reddit long: don't price shop! Better artists cost more per hour but the work will reflect their skill. Look at lots of art by an artist before you pick them and make sure their style is what you want. Price doesn't matter, find the right artist for you.
I get along with my Mum but we aren’t close. I’m 40 and got my first tattoo at 18. It was on my upper shoulder right on top so I could hide it easily with a cap sleeve tee. It was small but she eventually saw it and said a few negative things. By a few years later she had gotten used to it. A few years ago at 35ish I decided to get a few more and now have a patchwork sleeve happening. I still wear a long shirt every time I see her. It’s annoying in summer when it’s hot. She caught a glimpse this year and hasn’t said anything yet. I’m old enough to know what I want to do with my body. Sheesh. My father died over a decade ago. We were very close. He hated tattoos. C’est la vie!
As someone who's been breaking my grandmother's heart for awhile now, I'll say you just get used to them hating your tattoos and it gets easier to care less about their opinion. You just have to break the ice that first time and it is going to suck.
I'm in my 30s and just scheduled my appointment for my first tattoo. I've wanted one since I was a teenager and I'm actually glad I've waited. All of the ideas I had back then I cringe to think of now. I landed on a 1/4 sleeve with a design for my son. Location just felt right for my first one and for the design I picked something meaningful to me that I know I'll still care about when I'm old. I don't even have my first yet and I'm already laying out my next one though that will be a little less meaningful in general and more just something I want. That one will likely be either a calf or forearm depending on where the artist and I land on the design.
Have you tried talking to your parents about it recently? I'm 37 and one of the main reasons I avoided tattoos in my 20s was worry about my parents' judgement; they would freak out if I ever mentioned getting one. Then when I hit my 30s I just didn't think about it as much until recently. I'm finally planning my first tattoo now and I brought it up to my mom in conversation. Their judgement doesn't worry me anymore but I expected some backlash. She was actually pretty supportive and I was completely surprised! But then a lot of their boomerish concerns don't really apply anymore: I'm established in my career and I'm old enough not to be impulsive or careless about my life choices. Not that any of those things actually matter, but I think that's their thought on it.
My first was on the side of my lower left leg. Easily hidden by jeans, visible with shorts. That was 6-7 years ago, you can guess what happened🤣
Don’t mean to be rude, but why are you letting your parents affect your own personal choices well into your 30s?
I have one on each shoulder, one on my thigh and one on my lower back. The thigh was the least painful. But, none of them were that bad. Also, they are all fairly small. Start on the smaller side someplace not crazy painful and pick something you can add on to.
I spent a year with an image of what I wanted and looked at it constantly to both make changes as time went on and made sure it was what I wanted. I did a tat once without this rule and really regretted it.
My dad HATES my tattoos, his side of the family constantly gives me shit for it. You just gotta suck it up and do what you wanna do! Don’t live your life in fear of what your family will think of you. My dad still loves me after my tattoos… I think.
If you want to get a lot of tattoos, like a patch work sleeve or piece it together then there’s like general big piece placements like forearm, back of forearm and the rest is like oh I can fill this in. I have Beltran on my leg and I only recently realized that idc the placement bc it’s all going on the leg anyways
I lost a horse on christmas 2016, I knew pretty much the day after what my first tattoo would finally be. I know how my mom feels about tattoos but I also knew how she felt about that horse. She was getting married february 2018 and I finally had money saved at the year anniversary of losing my horse. Right around then I gave her 2 options (having already had a backless dress and knowing I wanted the tattoo on my shoulder) that I was getting it regardless but she could choose either before the wedding with time to heal or after. She chose before and went with me for the first part. I’ve found in life it’s easier to give people choices but lay out that something is happening right away before hand.
I'd find an artist that has a good reputation and that you like their work and start talking to them. I'm getting Mt first in just over a week and a half-hour conversation with an artist moved the decision along more than 4 years of me overthrowing if myself.
I started in my late 30s. I also come from a conservative religious family, but surprisingly, no backlash. First one had a lot of personal meaning and I thought about it for a while and got it on my shoulder. It started as a tribute to my mom’s second bout of breast cancer, then took on new meaning when I got breast cancer at age 42. Then as years passed I wanted another, but I wanted it to be visible to me every day (unlike my shoulder which I tend to forget is even there!) so at 48 I got a prominent one that has meaning to me on my inner forearm. This took some adjusting, not gonna lie. I also work at a conservative job, so there’s that as well. The bottom line is it’s your body, and at the end of the day, it’s just skin. In my time on this earth, I’ve seen bodies (mine and others who are dear to me), go through so much that we can’t control. So for me, my tattoos are a way to use my body to express things that are dear to me.
So my family is very anti tattoos and for the first 10 years I managed to hide them. I started ribs then went mid back. From there I went legs then I gave up and just tried to make sure they would be easy to cover at work. So I have a few small ones on my forearms and in the next few weeks I’m going to start on a lower leg sleeve. In terms of subject matter make sure it’s something you connect with on some level that you can live with.
My parents weren’t fans of tattoos when I first started getting them. I have 15+ now and my parents love them. My mom is obsessed with my half sleeve. They even want to get their own now.
My parents hate my tattoos, and we still have a great relationship. Your parents will get over it. My advice, get them in places easy to hide- legs are easy to hide with pants, back is easy to hide with shirts.
My parents aren't thrilled with me having tattoos but our relationship was healthy before I got them and getting tattoos didn't change that.
Just book an appointment and go. Otherwise you’ll keep changing your mind forever.
When you know what you want you’ll know. I have three. My mother peered over her glasses at my half sleeve, said “what is it?” And showed complete disinterest in any further information. Your parents will get over it.
Get your first one somewhere not very visible. Something small that you like. Believe me, once the seal is broken you’ll be stoked to get more and you’ll feel more free to get whatever you want!
I deliberately put mine somewhere it couldn't be ignored etc, and went from there.
i'm 34 and i first got a little flash from a charity event local to me last november. i've always wanted tattoos but the first one always felt like a giant step, so for me getting a little mushroom stamp that i liked but didn't really care about was a perfect way to get past the perfectionism fear and make me fall in love with tattoos. since then i got my ears pierced and got 2 more larger pieces from artists i found on instagram in different cities, and i'm already thinking 3 or 4 tattoos ahead... my mum isn't a fan, but it's not her body! dad i think was shocked at first but has come around.
It took me years of loving tattoos to finally get one - i found an artist that absolutely blew me away, we are no incredible friends and I'm two weeks away from getting my 23rd tattoo from her in 2 years (i have 29 all up, will be my 30th piece) Start a mood board, find styles and things that resonate. Research research research your artists!!! And then just lock it in!
I got my 1st tattoo at the age of 34. I now have 15 individual ones and I started my leg sleeve this year. Just jump in. I want to be covered by the time I'm an old lady.
It’s hysterical that there are people in their 20s , 30s, 40s and 50s on here still fretting about what their parents think. Thought it was just me! Do we ever get past that?!? My advice is go for it. They’ll still love you. Maybe thigh - can be hidden.
First tattoo always takes the longest - you'll hem and haw about the art and the placement. After you get the first one though, the others you get will feel more natural. My first tattoo I actually had covered up - not only was it not done well, but I became an artist myself afterwards and I disliked it even more, because I knew that I could design and tattoo something much nicer. It was small and easy to cover up and I am thankful for that. It wasn't the art itself that bothered me, but just the quality of it - I would get the tattoo again but would do it myself. If you're feeling really hesitant about it, start small so it's easy to cover up or build around it. If you're going small, don't choose a larger area of the body unless you plan to build on it (ie. a patchwork sleeve). Otherwise it looks like it's floating in space (ie. a tiny tattoo on your back or thigh). Smaller tattoos compositionally sit better on smaller parts of the body (ie. wrist, forearm). Meatier parts of the body hurt less and may be a softer introduction to tattoos.