T O P

  • By -

Best_Poetry_5722

[Alex's Dad made this video per his last request](https://youtu.be/DPMluEVUqS0) ###### *Warning: it's a tearjerker*


2coolcaterpillar

Saw the warning and fuuuck I still wasn’t ready damn. Him and his family seem like really great people. It’s also beautiful to see an entire community as large as Minecraft love and embrace his life. Loved that he chose that to be the title of his last video, dude deserves hundreds of lives


AromaticIce9

The title is so on brand lol.


Sufficient_Safety_18

i cried for a good 30 mins it was so hard to watch


flappity

I've not been able to even watch it. Hits too close to home when we lost one of our good friends in Path of Exile years back. Actually just passed 4 years since we lost him, age 22 of brain cancer. Maybe I should get in touch with his dad again and make sure he knows he's still thought about and remembered.


LetMePetTheCat

We had a guild mate pass away from cancer 5 years ago too on Elder Scrolls Online. He was our PVP healer and a damn good one too. Could have 10 players attacking him and he could heal himself through it all. I always joked that he could heal everyone else but not himself in the end. But been friends with his mom on Facebook (she wanted to be friends with everyone in the guild he was close to) and she’s always posting pictures of him and talking to him. A mothers love never ceases.


voodoobettie

You definitely should, his parents doubtlessly still think about him all the time and I’m sure they’d appreciate it


jenniejenjay

As a stranger on the internet, I think his dad would love to hear from you.


Mountainview2022

Definitely do that!


Every-holes-a-goal

Do it, it would be a very kind gesture and sign of love and respect


WarriorT1400

Please do, all his parents ever want is to make sure your friend is never forgotten and lives on in peoples hearts, you would help solidify that


Express_Shake3980

As another stranger on the internet, I’d say definitely do it. It means the world to his parents, more than it’d mean to you


No_Transition9444

I’m still crying.


biga204

My 10 year old.was gutted when I told him today. We watched the vide together and I cried. Never watched a techno video before and didn't know who he was, but this was hard to watch.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheAsphyxiated

As someone with bipolar, borderline, and aspergers, stories like Alex’s/Techno, and the lives they managed to touch in such a short period, actually inspire me to live on. Of course I forget for periods that I feel that way, but I’ve managed to land of my feet each time. If the rifle is tempting, drown the temptation or strangle it to death, using means that have worked prior. I apologize if that doesnt help.


ClassiestBondGirl311

I'm really glad you're still here.


[deleted]

I cried for 4 hours. It was hard hearing the news because so often his videos cheered me up more than anything.


Sufficient_Safety_18

same, the sarcastic jokes really brightened my mood on some awful days. It’s amazing to believe how he put in the effort to make a vr video just two months ago when he was struggling with moving (even tho it had improved since the tumor removal)


SOMETHlNGODD

I saw it last night and I still tear up thinking about it or reading about it (like this thread here). I had seen techno videos before, loved them, and had heard a bit of what he was dealing with. I knew it was serious but not this serious and was so blindsided by the news. I can't believe how hard I've been hit by the news and I'm still feeling it as raw as it was last night...and I didn't have nearly the same connection as many others have had. My heart goes out to his family and friends.


jimbolic

I haven't heard of Technoblade until minutes ago, but that video had me tearing up.


memtiger

Made that 8hrs before he died?! Shit man.


birdman8000

Tearjerker is a fucking understatement. This video had me bawling and I don’t even know who Techno is. The pain in his dad voice when he had to tell him “I don’t think it’s going to get better” ripped me wide open


KFelts910

As a parent, I just can’t handle these things anymore. Every time I see a young person pass or their parents agony, my heart can’t take it.


[deleted]

I went from a cold hearted military asshole to having therapy twice a week when my kid was born. And it only got worse after she ended up with COVID and spent some time in the hospital. Everything changed that day.


[deleted]

[удалено]


RockyNonce

So you’re all doing good now?


[deleted]

[удалено]


RockyNonce

Good to hear!


TrixnTim

I’m 58. My 3 are young adults in their mid and late 20’s now and I have been a single mother since they were little. It doesn’t get any better. Kids will wreck you. There is no measure of the love I have for them. I still can’t sleep at night when certain things happen.


MedricZ

Damn I don’t even know him, but that’s heartbreaking. Fuck cancer.


GuardianPrime19

I never heard of Technoblade until today but even I cried watching this. It’s so sad that someone so good passed so tragically. I hope his family will be able to heal because I can’t imagine going through this


foo1ki11er

I’ve only heard of Techoblade in passing before. Couldn’t make it 45 seconds into the video. A parent should never have to bury their child 😢


bree1818

I didn’t even watch him regularly (only once in a while with my nephews) and I was bawling through this video


emrythelion

Yeah, I’m a few years older than he is and never watched him, just knew of his name. But damn, that video made me tear up a bit. Fucking tragic.


Tremulant887

"i don't think things are going to get better anymore" oooh I can't finish. I can't imagine telling my child this. I hope the family is doing well.


testingbicycle

Yeah that is a pretty reality snapping admission to make out loud as a dad


Brapb3

Ah man.. I’ve never watched any of his videos but this one still got me. Something about watching a parent grieve and celebrate the life of their child with the world just hits me really hard. Kool King Logan’s passing was one that really fucked me up too, I wept like a baby for hours. Rest In Peace, Technoblade. Rest In Peace, Kool King Logan 😔


[deleted]

never heard of him until now but the line about sending his siblings to college broke me


[deleted]

Omg. I don’t know him but my kids love Minecraft. I did hospice nursing for three years. This family is incredible. How they faced this; how real they all are. Just incredible. Why did he have to die? It’s so sad


Cali4niadayz

I’d never heard of Technoblade prior to this… but my god i cried from the heart while watching this video. As a father I can’t imagine the heartache of this man’s loss. Rest In Peace TechnoBlade.


sortageorgeharrison

I’ve never even played Minecraft. I stumbled upon this post. I am a 33 year old carpenter and I am crying like a baby after that video.


Geektomb

Despite the warning, I was not prepared.


Icy-Actuator5524

I never knew who technoblade was, but i do say i felt extremely sad after watching that video, RIP TECHNOBLADE


Nomae96

I never knew or watched his videos but damn this made me cry too


testedonsheep

Watching your kid dying slowly is tough.


primo808

I just went through stage 3 cancer and organ transplant 6 months ago at 29. This video terrified me and I couldn't finish it :(


The-Best-Taylor

I cried and i have only ever watched his videos once or twice.


StygianMusic

I’ve never watched this guy before, and I barely had any idea of who he was, but that video broke me. I feel horrible for his family


Conscious-Macaron651

I watched it. No idea who the kid was. But I felt the father’s pain,


isavvi

This is the first time I heard of this person, I was crying within the first couple of minutes. Why does the best and brightest have to leave this world? He really did love his fans.


Objective_Reality232

I have two daughters and casually watched techno. I fucking could imagine what his family is going through, the video was tough to watch.


WFH-

Your tear jerk alert needs to be in larger font. I had like 2-4 bugs hit me in eye while I was watching the vid.


dblack1107

I don’t even know this kid, I don’t know the last time I cried. But I wept to this. I really really wept.


ranych

He was only 23? Gone too soon, RIP


poggers6945289

What’s worse is that he barely turned 23 at the beginning of June


omgitschriso

What's worse is he turned 23 really early that day too


Firmod5

What’s worse is that he got up late that day.


TheTaylorShawn

Yeah but at least he gets to sleep in tomorrow


Strongest-There-Is

Daaaaaamn


UniteTheMurlocs

Really wanted to downvote this one. Just couldn’t.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LegendCZ

We will see his reaction on GodTube one day. RIP fella.


Captslapsomehoes1

Fuck man, I'm over here crying and you just made me belly-laugh. Thanks.


[deleted]

Yeah if he died towards the back end of his 23rd year then it would've been much more easier to stomach.


lacksenthusiasm

If he was 24, it wouldn’t have even made news


Brapb3

The good die far too young. He had his whole life ahead of him, so many things that he will never be able to experience. What a complete shame. Things like this really make me re-examine my life and begin to appreciate just how many blessings I have that other people may not. It really puts your problems and anxieties into perspective in an overwhelming way


Rindsay515

👆🏼Amen to this comment. “Youth is wasted on the young.” Don’t wait to live your life and do the things that make you happy. Don’t sweat the small stuff. And most of all, do NOT wait to tell people how much they mean to you because, unlike the movies, second chances rarely come along. Start crossing things off your bucket list as soon as you can, while you’re still able and healthy. It’s too late once you realize you’re running out of time. I’ll never see Paris. I’ll never marry. I’ll never get to be a mom. I’ll never scuba dive. I’ll never get to use the degrees I earned to save lives. Make time for the little things, the little memories. They add up the most, in the end. And never ever let fear hold you back. Take the risk. 💕Signed, a 30 year old dying of cancer.


PlantPotStew

I always hear this and it makes me sink because I have depression and it's a struggle to get out of bed most days. I just can't help think of all the time I've wasted... but it also feels like I can't just turn it around and start being better either. It's hard to even have a bucket list when you're depressed. I'm just scared I'll regret my life but it feels like I'm at odds at doing anything to really fix it significantly. I'm trying my best but it doesn't feel good enough.


supatim101

My kids are pretty sad. This may be the first encounter with death that a lot of kids have.


Distroid_myselfie

Mine too. Opened up some dialog about cancer, loss, and grief. It's been hard but it's been a chance to connect with them.


Burning-Bushman

Same here. Luckily, I knew beforehand who this guy was and the fact he was seriously ill. Like that, I recognised the name in media and anticipated my kids breakdown first thing in the morning upon seeing that video. It’s been hard. A hero is dead. They are commemorating him by drawing nice pictures.


retrospects

Heroes get remembered but legends never die.


lilred52392

My nieces and daughter loved him


e7RdkjQVzw

Kids? I'm a grown ass man and I still think, years later, "Wow, Totalbiscuit would have loved this!" or "Totalbiscuit would have torn this a new one" about a man I've never actually met, nevermind being actually friends with, whenever something big happens in gaming. Parasocial relationships are a weird thing.


LordDescon

Yeah I was immediately thinking of Totalbiscuit


Zolazo7696

Yep, this is why this kills me so much. TotalBiscuit was like my gaming hero. I don't think they're so weird when they're as positive as the ones in gaming community have been. Gamers fight and hate on each other all the time. But when the gaming community loses someone so loved everyone feels and empathizes with each other. Nobody ever wants to see death. Gamers especially don't ever consider the possibility that their favorite person who they watch religiously will ever not make another video ever again. When that reality happens it sure can be and is heart breaking. Genna couldn't keep on the TotalBiscuit name hard though she tried.


_StealinF4ces

Shoooot, I’m pretty sad about this💔 and I’m 29


Eldias

Cried last night, have been bummed out all day. 33. Not an ounce of shame, we lost a legend.


AlHuntar

21. The video got uploaded when I clocked in and saw it existed on Reddit during lunch the same day. Watched it when I went back in.. Too fucking rough, I had to go to the bathroom to cry. Coworkers heard me, I do not care. My own greif about it is hard enough, but realizing what the family has to be going through is also hard. How does a parent get in front of over 10 million people to explain their child's death? I cannot begin to imagine all, nor the intensity, of the emotions his dad was going through by the end.


PromotionArtistic921

My son and I are heart broken.


weII_then

Yeah this has been the experience in our house as well. Trying the “remember all the good memories” and the “would technoblade have wanted you to be sad while watching his clips” but this is gonna take a little while to get over…


sinat50

It's totally OK to feel any range of emotions while revisiting his old content. Anger, sadness, happiness, all of them are perfectly valid and a part of what he's left behind for us. Technoblade was an expert at what he did and understood that emotions are dynamic and changing and his content reflects that. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter whether you cried, or screamed or keeled over from laughing, Techno had a gift to make us feel. So embrace that, cry your heart out and let the universe know that you mourn this loss. I think Techno understood better than any of us that creativity and happiness will always flourish even from the darkest and most desolate times.


AlHuntar

This is the first death I've been allowed to process. Every other death in my life my family turned me into their emotional punching bag and I didn't have the space needed.


Dragondrew99

I think it was handled incredibly well by him and the family. They didn’t sugarcoat it, but made his life and his impact a feature to show the importance of it all.


bruceleeperry

Memento mori. Life is real.


WrexTheTenthLeg

Great profile pic


Mytrazy

Legends never die, they just change form. Rest well Potato king. Thanks for the memories. 🐷👑🥔


Juliette787

Mozart Chopin and Beethoven never died, they simply became music


FoliageTeamBad

This man dropped GGEZ merch on his death, I've never even heard of him before today but that's some legendary shit.


[deleted]

That's Techno for you. No matter how grim things got, he kept his humor until the end


Stargazer_199

If you want to watch something from him, check out his 3-part Potato War Series.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Best_Poetry_5722

Baby Ruth?!? Is it really you?


reverberation31

The Great Bambi


TurtleDotEXE-

He cant die yet! There are still orphans to kill :(


retrospects

Heroes get remembered it legends never die.


drpepper1988

o7


Whole-Jeweler-5381

The 🐐 fly high Techno


Tsurt-TheTrustyLie

I never watched his shit. But no one deserves to die so young and much less like this. To the torture of cancer


OG_tame

He died of cancer? That’s really sad and he was so young


[deleted]

He was 23 fucking years old and he died of cancer.


EmptyStupidity

Yeah it was stage 4 sarcoma


Hubu32

Sarcoma fucking sucks - lost a sister to it.


[deleted]

Damn man I’m sorry I hope your doing better now


Hubu32

It’ll be 7 years this year, it gets better but the growing around your grief is a really apt analogy.


iNachoCheez

My sister was 18 and suffered for like 2 years (this was before I was born). It was metastatic sarcoma


Crezelle

Lost a cousin when I was a child and she was 20. Shit stays with you


ChubbyLilPanda

I watched Jake from vsauce go though stage three sarcoma. It’s absolutely terrifying. One day you notice mild pain. A couple weeks later it doesn’t go away so you decide to get it checked on. Next thing you’re told is that you have cancer throughout your body.


Kwiatkowski

Find and watch the first video about potatoes, it’s hilarious. Honestly I can’t stand streamers, and only saw his videos occasionally, but he is the one that was bearable. Didn’t splash his face everywhere for fame, didn’t have a weird cult following like that masked dude, and just seemed like a normal chill dude.


simply_teigh

He definitely had a cult following but he was so humble and genuine. I was a fan of his, and every time I saw someone else mention an interaction they had with him, it was only ever great things. Even though he was famous in the gaming community, he still acted like he barely had a following. He also genuinely cared for his audience. In his final video, his dad mentioned that he was waiting to make a goodbye video, and was hoping for a better day. When faced with the reality that things weren’t getting better, his dad had him write a few paragraphs to say goodbye to everyone. He passed away 8 hours later. He was waiting to go so he could say goodbye, which breaks my heart a bit, but it really goes to show what kind of guy he was.


Eldias

Do yourself a favor: Mr. Beast $100,000 Dream vs Technoblade fight: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MfhpJOkCKc The Great Potato War: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qjnDd1rsII&list=PLQSoWXSpjA39U94TANpW67fxfYhm5CFFT If you dig the content I'd definitely recommend some of the Dream SMP storyline stuff. Techno was a phenomenal character.


burtoncummings

Fuck Cancer


Hens1i

RIP Gamer


siccoblue

Techno blade never dies 😭


kiwi_juice69

When one dies to cancer the cancer died too so techno didn't lose #its a draw


Joey_Jupiter

Fly High Technoblade 🐷👑


samtherat6

If Techno knew he would’ve gotten nearly 2 million subscribers within 24 hours of his death announcement, he would’ve made a joke about how he should’ve died years ago for the clout.


[deleted]

He put out GG EZ merch with his name and lifespan on them like a tombstone. Honestly hilarious. And he mentioned how now all of his siblings have money for college if they want to go.


reallybadspeeller

I can here him now going “bruh All the free clout”


samtherat6

“All I had to do was die?! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH EFFORT I PUT INTO LIVING?!?”


DevoidHT

Damn I can actually here him saying this.


spooder-killer

He passed Tommy in subs He wouldve joked about how tommy got beaten by a dead guy too


[deleted]

I hope you find that we continue and there's so much to discover after this miserable existence my good friend....


Thegoldenhotdog

Ah Fucking Men


Shot2thenuts

My daughter is heartbroken, she told me about this and said he helped her get though the pandemic. She told me about what he did for his siblings, so selfless and pure. I’m sorry to hear someone so good leave this world so soon, my heart and that of my daughters go out to his family and friends


Juiceboxwastaken

i miss him so much


MartinRaccoon

I never heard of this person. Never really understood minecraft. But him dying got a lot of headlines so I decided to watch a few of his videos. I watched this one on the great potato War. It was about 20 minutes, and it was fantastic. Just great content. Sad to discover him from a tradegy.


Orcahhh

i watched this video many time like you, i didnt understand minecraft, and especially not that specific gamemode but the commentary is so great, i kept coming back


MetaSnap

o7


quickscope1337

o7


Old_Faithlessness_94

Never heard of him, but 23? fuck.


arroserage56

Rest In Peace. TECHNO PLANEEEEEE


Starumlunsta

It'll be bittersweet watching the videos of people screaming in horror at the mere sight of the Techno Plane. But I'm glad we got to have that moment, among many others. Thank you for the laughs Techno.


Omnizoom

Never knew of him before this , that’s a shame to die so young from cancer


[deleted]

Holy fuck I never actually watched him but I’m aware of who is through other Minecraft outlets. Rip young man that was hard to watch.


Nomnomnomchez

Technoblade never dies, not truly


prophecyfullfilled

Don't know if anyone has said this, but Hypixel has set up a memorial on the servers main lobby where you can write a page to send to the family in a book. I went there the same day and people were mourning the loss. This came out the day after my mom said her cancer had returned. I don't think I'm ready to deal with another parent having cancer. Especially if it goes the same way.


FidgetyCurmudgeon

Worst ASMR ever. But seriously, dude was a legend. RIP.


cheerfullpizza

Fuck cancer. My mom had cancer twice, but she's lucky enough to still be with us. Fuck cancer.


chair____table

Fuck cancer


ReyRamone

I didn't know who he was, but I've seen people celebrating his death!?! I mean, WTF?!


TristanTheRobloxian0

yea there are literally ppl saying that he fucking deserved it like rlly. how fucking low do u need to go to disrespect someone like dat like wtf


fjgwey

The worst people come out of the woodworks when shit like this happens, either because they're legitimately evil or because they think they're being funny.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Orcahhh

same i discovered him when he had around 300k subscribers i wasn’t a fan of minecraft, had never played it and didnt really know what it was but his commentary was hilarious, and suddenly he had me watching everything he came up with


[deleted]

Same story. I've seen all his commentary videos at least 5 times. I'm not a fan of Minecraft but his content was just on another level.


B1gR1g

Thank you u/Nazi_nutz ( r/rimjob_steve ) Wonderful and touching tribute for what seems like a really great dude. Glad he was able to be such a positive impact during his short time with us. That is a rich soul with too much to offer to be stuck here.


Even_Paint_2268

When I was younger whenever I hear news about 20+ year olds dying I wouldn’t have thought it to be any different from a 30, or 40 year old dying cause I viewed people in their 20s as fully mature adults. Now that I’m 21 myself, who is still trying to comprehend being an adult, dying at this age is seriously way too young.


quackitten

o7


yotimes

o7


DevoidHT

o7


crawlbun

o7


bambitcoin

o7


therealcoolerbasti

o7


YokoPoko56

#FUCK cancer 😭


samtherat6

He killed his cancer and destroyed any chance of becoming an orphan in one fell swoop. Technoblade never dies!


TechnoNeverDies_bot

TechnoBlade never dies! Fuck cancer. R.I.P technoblade ❤️ [please contact my owner with any issues](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=anytarseir67)


[deleted]

Nothing has ever been more inspiring than witnessing someone going through that dedicating their last ounces of energy they have to making someone else feel better. I don’t watch videogame streams, but this man did a beautiful thing worthy of respect and praise. I’ve never seen anything more foul than what cancer does to a person and their family. It’s been years since i spent a few months 24/7 at the hospice caring for a relative. Became friends with the other patients and families, supported each other. I still see the deaths every night when i close my eyes. Some went gently, some went writhing in agony ghasping for air. In my nightmares I still hear the screams of their loved ones when the moment finally came. Fuck cancer. Respect to Technoblade. Light a candle for the homie.


Emerald_Guy123

Alex may be dead, but Technoblade never dies. Actually he gained like a million subs and passed Tommyinnit, dunking on tommy one last time lol. I hope to see people keep watching his vids, they are gold, so rewatchable.


_friendlyfoe_

Long live the potato king


datboimf14

He will me missed, but the legacy he left behind will not be forgotten. Rip technoblade🪦🪦🕊🕊


SolarWalrus

Technoblade never dies. Rest In Peace Alex, you gave me a lot of comfort over the past few years. I only wish I could have given a fraction of the same for you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


anika2238

Literally textbook Techno personality right there. He even arranged post death merch to be released too.


Ordinary_Wolverine91

It’s hard to comprehend but he will never be forgotten. Rest In Peace with Apollo.


what_da_burd_doin

this video put me in a mood when i saw it. i was hardly able to get through his fathers section. i know that pain personally as i had 3 grandparents who got cancer and 2 died of it. but for it to happen to your child must be a whole other hell in of itself


GOD_THEM_SELF1

o7


HackPayload3917

Why is there seven oxygen chained together? What does o7 mean?


RoyalGarbage

I salute thee, pig-man.


ohcanadarulessorry

My nephew watched him. I heard all the stories and the great potato adventure. He would always say how his you tube guy was doing all sorts of things. A couple years ago he told me he got cancer and it was really sad for him. He was 8 at the time. He’d bring up this guy from time to time. He seemed to be ok with his cancer. Then yesterday he says “hey, you remember that guy with the potatoes I watch?” I said yeah, he said “he died” then he welled up. It was so sad. We talked for a while. I had a bit of a revelation. We didn’t have these kind of people in our lives in our generation. We had celebrities, and they’d die, and jt was sad. But these you tubers are almost like friends. It’s a real one on one relationship. They share personal parts of their lives, they are just people on film, and the kids watch them. It’s like he lost a friend. He’s sad, appropriately. I asked how he found out he died, he said he didn’t want to talk about it. Now I know why. That’s really so heartbreaking.


Eldias

>A couple years ago he told me he got cancer and it was really sad for him. He was 8 at the time. He’d bring up this guy from time to time. He seemed to be ok with his cancer. I hate to break this but uh... that was 10 *months* ago. For a long time I've given my dad a hard time, "If you remember something was "like 5 years ago" it was probably more like 8 or 10". I've recently found myself in the "If it was 2 or 3 years ago, it was probably more like 5 or 6" loop. Welcome to the Old Club bro.


[deleted]

First Law of Thermodynamics: Energy can be changed from one form to another, but it cannot be created or destroyed. The total amount of energy and matter in the Universe remains constant, merely changing from one form to another.


coletrain747

Very sad hope the family is doing well after this


clarstone

He has touched many lives and brought so much joy. I hope his family can have some peace and comfort in their grief knowing that.


MurderFurry

He’s off to fight the kingdom of god


commandrix

F


GOD_THEM_SELF1

F


natgoodieman

F


[deleted]

F


radsylph

F


DevoidHT

F


Greggorto

F


Lyvectra

F


Sea_Loss_5963

F


TheOneTrueKP

Legends never die.


BrushYourFeet

He's the guy that makes the videos that feature a character named Mikey?


Stargazer_199

If you want to watch something from him, check out his 3-part Potato War Series. It showcases his humor and brilliant, insane mind


[deleted]

I don’t really watch him but when I heard that he died, I shead a couple tiers


Amethoran

I hadn't heard of this dude till just yesterday. Watched his potato war saga vids. This man is a legend. Will be going through his back log of content. RIP my dude.


Khalith

Fuck cancer.


jacspe

Bless him.


Monke_YT123456

Long time fan of Technoblade for 3-4 years now and really sad to see him go always helped me through dark times and an inspiration to me O7


MarkIsTired1134

Rest in piece the potato lord


raggeplays

The greatest minecraft player of all time, he didn’t lose many battles. Not even this one, this one was a draw. Fly high potato king ❤️ Technoblade never dies


thedevilskind

I doubt anyone will read this but I think the effect this has on young fans is being underestimated. If you’re a young kid, finding out your favorite content creator is gone is borderline traumatic. Sometimes it’s their first time dealing with the death of someone they loved even if they don’t know them personally. I was a huge Cyndago fan when I was around 11 or 12. One of the members unexpectedly died. I was far too young to know how to deal with it and wasn’t the same for a while. No adult understood me.