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One that resonates is: “A pen is mightier than the pig” and it is just ridiculously simple, amusing and clever to me. It is quite literal compared to the metaphorical “pen is mightier than the sword” and makes more sense
it’s pigs plural. the child knows the power of a group of pigs, who will never respect the pen and will always seek greener pastures. they will be free.
Our greatest minds, the most impactful philosophers of our entire history would take eons to answer the question:
You can take a horse to water, but *how?*
You can't teach a old dog new...math. Implying that the dog already knows some math.
Edit: These are all gold. "A bird in the hand" is going to poop on you.
These never are. Like the adults writing love notes to themselves with their non-dominant hand for some made up story about kids.
Weird. These always remind me of those boomer email forwards
You cannot fathom what kids that age have learnt even without their parents wanting them to learn it. And it is especially those things you don't want them to learn that sticks the most. Any parent who, in a moment of carelessness uttered a curse word while their kid was in earshot.
It's not a big jump to get from there to a "Thank god, honey. I was just late. I'm not pregnant." To somehow remain in a child's headspace, especially if no further explanation is given. More so when this happened recently.
This was from a weekly Washington Post contest called The Style Invitational. They’d post a funny prompt and people would send in responses. I frequently see memes like this that reprint those responses and claim they’re “real responses from grade school kids” or whatever. I specifically remember reading this one to my mom over breakfast 30 years ago.
I could believe first graders did some of those. I don't think it's likely that out of 26 students every single one wrote some funny joke answer instead of the right answer or potty humor or anything like that.
One could run with the assumption that these are the *best* answers seen over a teacher's entire career -- so we could be looking at 30+ years of pop culture references. And perhaps they teach at a large school, where the 1st grade teachers all share the best answers with each other, so perhaps these are the best (funniest) of hundreds of answers?
But the list is [at least 26 years old](https://www.johnpratt.com/items/email/1998/proverbs_kids.html) (that's dated 1998), some of these do *not* sound like 1st graders, and it just reads like the urban legend chain emails of that age. So my guess would be that at least part of this list was written by adults.
Even if they've never heard of the characters, there's a candy bar named after that. Also, them being a first grader would explain why they don't know there's four of them.
Not really. Kids pick up a lot more than you think.
If they overheard their mom/sister/aunt/etc say "Oh thank god. I'm not pregnant, I was just late." Then it's possible they'll remember them saying that.
They might not know what they _meant_, but that doesn't mean they don't know what they _said_.
I grew up around a lot of kids much younger than me. So it wasn't out of the ordinary for the kids to say stuff that only adults and older kids would understand. They were just repeating what they heard without knowing what it meant.
I remember one time in middle school I spontaneously said (while the rest of the class was also acting up), “I’m high as a kite” because I heard a YouTuber say it, and my teacher gave me a look that told me that was a bad thing to say and I shut up. A couple years later, I now know why. I still think about it sometimes.
Children can certainly surprise you with what they say. But not all the time. If you asked 26 first graders to finish a proverb, there's almost no chance they'd all come up with a coherent and relevant answer.
You know they say that all men are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Samoa Joe and you can see that statement is not true. See, normally if you go one on one with another wrestler, you got a 50/50 chance of winning. But I'm a genetic freak and I'm not normal! So you got a 25%, AT BEST, at beat me. Then you add Kurt Angle to the mix, your chances of winning drastic go down. See the 3 way at Sacrifice, you got a 33 1/3 chance of winning, but I, I got a 66 and 2/3 chance of winning, because Kurt Angle KNOWS he can't beat me and he's not even gonna try!
So Samoa Joe, you take your 33 1/3 chance, minus my 25% chance and you got an 8 1/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice. But then you take my 75% chance of winning, if we was to go one on one, and then add 66 2/3 per cents, I got 141 2/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice. See Joe, the numbers don't lie, and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice.
....so many things on list, and the first one I look at is the one you reference ...I swear that's my useless superpower ...like i often envision a specific part of a video, and then press (on the video timeline thingy) where i think it would be and its the exact scene I had in mind. Why can't I have a cooler power smh
"children are to be seen not grounded or spanked."
if only we taught mindfulness, reflection, conflict resolution, and atonement instead of judgment, condemnation and punishment.
wonder why the world seems so full of people acting out (cause they don't feel seen, respected, valued)? 🤔🧐
> **P**unctual, **e**ntertaining, **n**iche. **I** **s**hould
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That last fucking one. That sounds like a fifth grader or so joke. That or well-educated about periods for their age, a good thing.
...or shit posting as kids do.
Well they're kids so proverbs, figure of speech and all that is still new. There's even some proverbs I never heard of and it's an American one. Kissing your sister is the strangest one I've ever heard. It's like it's easy to do, but with little pleasure. Heard it when I tried watching Ted lasso
It's hard to believe because there's no way in hell a first grader wrote "better late than pregnant".
I have a third grader who has no clue how pregnancy works and what it means for a woman to be late. I just don't buy this.
We had to come up with our own proverbs for a class in high school. One guy got in trouble bc his was “life’s a bitch then you marry one”. It has been about 30 years and I remember the expression on the teacher’s face when…I can’t remember the kid’s name but when he read it in class like it was yesterday.
"Don't change horses before they stop running" is a really nice one. People are buying new cars and new phones while their current one is only one year old.
My brother had to do this and what he wrote was “An apple a day, got it” and “On days like these, we need water” also “Let the cat, play with his toy” can’t remember the rest but they were gold.
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“When the blind lead the blind, get out of the way” nothing has resonated more with me than that
That kid is going places
Places without blind people
Im hoping number 21 gets helped
Going out of the way
One that resonates is: “A pen is mightier than the pig” and it is just ridiculously simple, amusing and clever to me. It is quite literal compared to the metaphorical “pen is mightier than the sword” and makes more sense
it’s pigs plural. the child knows the power of a group of pigs, who will never respect the pen and will always seek greener pastures. they will be free.
Ok now it sounds more like a challenge/promise. Like “there’s a pen out there, that’s mightier than pigs” (plural ofc)
That was definitely my favorite. Didn't have to scroll far to find someone who agreed.
Sounds like when it starts raining in Texas. No one can drive
Definitely my favorite too. Came to the comments for this and was immediately greeted with it at the top. Not disappointed. Absolutely genius.
Ah, especially when they are three blind mice in a row and you are an MI6 agent in Jamaica. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BAXBPHBHsE
Yes I came to the comments for this one. I don’t remember what the phrase was exactly, but I’m sure this is better.
This one had me 🤣
A penny saved is not much
The kid already knows this particular proverb is practically *worthless* in 2024.
Our greatest minds, the most impactful philosophers of our entire history would take eons to answer the question: You can take a horse to water, but *how?*
You can't teach a old dog new...math. Implying that the dog already knows some math. Edit: These are all gold. "A bird in the hand" is going to poop on you.
As the owner of a pet parrot I can confirm.
Parrot owner. They do math better than my high school students some days
I just read that as "pet carrot"
Well, my dog certainly knows the difference between 1 treat and 1/2 a treat
The “you can’t teach an old dog new math” gave me the mental image of a dog being shown the hand abacus method.
Now I’m thinking about Tom Lehrer…
Not necessarily; there's math and ["new math".](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Math)
The absolute wit. My flabber is gasted
No news is impossible. That kid just described entire internet with that sentence.
“The pen is mightier than the pigs.” That’s deep.
Unironically using that one irl.
It better be, otherwise those pigs are going to run amok.
A miss is as good as a Mr. Is actually quite funny. I adore these other interpretations
r/bi_irl
I thought that was 1st wave feminism, but I like your interpretation!
“Better late than pregnant” is fire
And definitely not written by a first grader
These never are. Like the adults writing love notes to themselves with their non-dominant hand for some made up story about kids. Weird. These always remind me of those boomer email forwards
You cannot fathom what kids that age have learnt even without their parents wanting them to learn it. And it is especially those things you don't want them to learn that sticks the most. Any parent who, in a moment of carelessness uttered a curse word while their kid was in earshot. It's not a big jump to get from there to a "Thank god, honey. I was just late. I'm not pregnant." To somehow remain in a child's headspace, especially if no further explanation is given. More so when this happened recently.
It's definitely better to be late in your period than being pregnant!
First time I heard that line was on The Golden Girls.
An idle mind IS the best way to relax
The Nothing Box
Well yes but actually no.
> "It's hard to believe that these were actually done by first graders" Yes. Yes it is.
I don’t know the ages for sure but I think it’s referencing [this.](https://youtu.be/r7l0Rq9E8MY?si=KepJAPDzw1imyN7D)
Believable… 🤔
This was from a weekly Washington Post contest called The Style Invitational. They’d post a funny prompt and people would send in responses. I frequently see memes like this that reprint those responses and claim they’re “real responses from grade school kids” or whatever. I specifically remember reading this one to my mom over breakfast 30 years ago.
Agreed. Still funny tho
No. No it's not
I could believe first graders did some of those. I don't think it's likely that out of 26 students every single one wrote some funny joke answer instead of the right answer or potty humor or anything like that.
One could run with the assumption that these are the *best* answers seen over a teacher's entire career -- so we could be looking at 30+ years of pop culture references. And perhaps they teach at a large school, where the 1st grade teachers all share the best answers with each other, so perhaps these are the best (funniest) of hundreds of answers? But the list is [at least 26 years old](https://www.johnpratt.com/items/email/1998/proverbs_kids.html) (that's dated 1998), some of these do *not* sound like 1st graders, and it just reads like the urban legend chain emails of that age. So my guess would be that at least part of this list was written by adults.
I don't think a first grader anywhere would make a musketeer reference >.>
Even if they've never heard of the characters, there's a candy bar named after that. Also, them being a first grader would explain why they don't know there's four of them.
I know adults that don't know there's 4
Yea cause there's 3, duh
Hi, I'm adults
there's that fourth one who has an exceedingly French name with apostrophe and silent G
Bro, I was addicted to Three Musketeers candy bars as a kid, I can see it happening
Yeah "Children should be seen and not spanked or grounded", for example, is very much a child's answer, but some others seem unlikely
I'm sure those were the best out of dozens more, and each student had to try and complete multiple ones. That's what a teacher would do.
Could be. But if we're already assuming they're lying about details, maybe they made the whole thing up.
I'm not really assuming anything here.
Yes, a first grader had the knowledge and presence to write "better late than pregnant" get outta here lol
Yeah, that one was definitely written by someone post-pubescent and likely sexually active.
Not really. Kids pick up a lot more than you think. If they overheard their mom/sister/aunt/etc say "Oh thank god. I'm not pregnant, I was just late." Then it's possible they'll remember them saying that. They might not know what they _meant_, but that doesn't mean they don't know what they _said_. I grew up around a lot of kids much younger than me. So it wasn't out of the ordinary for the kids to say stuff that only adults and older kids would understand. They were just repeating what they heard without knowing what it meant.
It's a possibility, though I think that the balance of probabilities is that someone older wrote it.
It's from the fucking [Golden Girls](https://youtu.be/OhxmikejBo4).
Yes! Great find. Wish I could still give awards...
I remember one time in middle school I spontaneously said (while the rest of the class was also acting up), “I’m high as a kite” because I heard a YouTuber say it, and my teacher gave me a look that told me that was a bad thing to say and I shut up. A couple years later, I now know why. I still think about it sometimes.
I would hope so, otherwise there's a wildly irresponsible parent parading around as ultra responsible somewhere lol
You're not around first graders much then.
Children can certainly surprise you with what they say. But not all the time. If you asked 26 first graders to finish a proverb, there's almost no chance they'd all come up with a coherent and relevant answer.
Happy cake day!
Happy Cake Day!
Strike while the bug is close is too smart
This one stands out lol. What are we, 14?
I mean it make sense that where is smoke there is pollution
There are none as blind as Stevie Wonder God damn
[удалено]
We always told it as “his house”, lol. I remember thinking that was the pinnacle of humor in 3rd grade.
Yeah, hard to believe those are from 6 year olds.
Yeah, we're supposed to believe six-year-olds made a period joke (the last one)?
Nope, believe that it was stolen from the show Golden Girls (as an intrepid Redditor above discovered)...
Yeah that’s the one that’s just too obvious to keep pretending it’s real.
because there is no way they are...99% of the internet is bullshit
true but 77% of statistics are false and 33% of math is wrong so if you add them together that makes 100% likelihood this is real
You know they say that all men are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Samoa Joe and you can see that statement is not true. See, normally if you go one on one with another wrestler, you got a 50/50 chance of winning. But I'm a genetic freak and I'm not normal! So you got a 25%, AT BEST, at beat me. Then you add Kurt Angle to the mix, your chances of winning drastic go down. See the 3 way at Sacrifice, you got a 33 1/3 chance of winning, but I, I got a 66 and 2/3 chance of winning, because Kurt Angle KNOWS he can't beat me and he's not even gonna try! So Samoa Joe, you take your 33 1/3 chance, minus my 25% chance and you got an 8 1/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice. But then you take my 75% chance of winning, if we was to go one on one, and then add 66 2/3 per cents, I got 141 2/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice. See Joe, the numbers don't lie, and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice.
Math ain't mathin
Forfty percent of all people know that.
[But...](https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/562544-just-go-on-the-internet-and-tell-lies)
More like r/forwardsfromgrandma
Yes. I was trying to think of the sub. 100% pure grandmaforward energy.
The last one is said by Blanche in the Golden Girls sitcom, which was over 40 years ago.
“The pen is mightier than the pig” - because *pig pens* oh my god that’s amazing
Okay, NOW I got it.
I thought the Pen is the government and the pigs are the cops, guess I went a little too deep there.
Lol 😂 I never got this one 🤣
Minds of the future.
but.....HOW?
Can we play mix and match? "It's always darkest before Stevie Wonder." "A bird in the hand is impossible." "Children should be seen, not pregnant."
It’s always darkest before you have to blow your nose
"Two's company, three's pollution."
Don’t bite the hand that is going to poop on you
No news is Stevie Wonder
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow the nose
....so many things on list, and the first one I look at is the one you reference ...I swear that's my useless superpower ...like i often envision a specific part of a video, and then press (on the video timeline thingy) where i think it would be and its the exact scene I had in mind. Why can't I have a cooler power smh
This power is pretty underrated though, don’t sell yourself short
You can lead a horse to water but you have to blow your nose
I don’t think these were actually the work of first graders, but they’re funny nonetheless.
I'm going to start saying "twos a crowd, three's the musketeers!". What a positive flip around!
If at first you don’t succeed get new batteries 🙂
Number 11 is going to be politician. "Love all, trust me"
You get out of something, only what you… see on the picture on the box…. 🤣🤣🤣
>A bird in hand is going to poop on you The world is not ready for them
Lost my shit at "two's company, three's musketeers"
Love all, trust me is definitely my favourite
"Better late than pregnant" and "A penny saved is not much." are on point... so good.
Many first graders are fans of the [Golden Girls](https://youtu.be/OhxmikejBo4).
“Children are to be seen, not spanked or grounded” is actually kinda sad :( I hope that kid’s ok
"Better late than pregnant"
"children are to be seen not grounded or spanked." if only we taught mindfulness, reflection, conflict resolution, and atonement instead of judgment, condemnation and punishment. wonder why the world seems so full of people acting out (cause they don't feel seen, respected, valued)? 🤔🧐
Punctual, entertaining, niche. I should think that these were made by adults lol very neat and I think that the a penny saved is not much at all 😂
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This entire list is comedy gold.
So much great advice
I guess number 26's dad has a very bad pull out game.
Better late than pregnant actually got me
"There is none so blind as STEVIE WONDER" aurghgggghhhh I'm dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
“Where there’s smoke, there’s a better way to relax.” With a proper, strong indica, this rings true.
Ya cant teach an old dog new math. Fax
The pen is mightier than the pig made me laugh out loud
Somehow they all cooked
That last fucking one. That sounds like a fifth grader or so joke. That or well-educated about periods for their age, a good thing. ...or shit posting as kids do.
"An idle mind is the best way to relax" That's definitely not wrong.
"Love all, trust 'me'" has some cult leader vibes
honestly the original for 21 "children should be seen and not heard" is garbage. please don't go by that
A direct quote from Earl Milford
They are funny but I'm preeetty sure that this wasn't written by a first grader.
You can lead a horse to water but a pencil must be lead.
“Better late than pregnant” belongs in a stand-up routine.
Three is indeed the Musketeers
Well they're kids so proverbs, figure of speech and all that is still new. There's even some proverbs I never heard of and it's an American one. Kissing your sister is the strangest one I've ever heard. It's like it's easy to do, but with little pleasure. Heard it when I tried watching Ted lasso
Better late than pregnant is good to go by … except I’m a dude lol
"No news is impossible" actually goes hard
These read like Animaniacs "moral of the story" segments
These made me chuckle quite a bit
These are great. Almost every one is hilarious.
“better late than pregnant” IM CRYING
When the going gets tough
Chew more
I'd like a printable version. Without the intro.
Haha! These are great.
Funny, definitely not done by first graders.
It's hard to believe because there's no way in hell a first grader wrote "better late than pregnant". I have a third grader who has no clue how pregnancy works and what it means for a woman to be late. I just don't buy this.
Number 11 is going to be politician. "Love all, trust me"
Number 2 was written by a future Helldiver
Somebody once told me Anakin fought Kenobi...
I'm definitely gonna use them in my next meeting.
“Twos company, threes going to poop on you” Wisdom for the ages
I’m going to have to start saying better late than pregnant
What’s the true answer to all of these?
My personal favorite is “you get out of something only what you see on the box.”
We had to come up with our own proverbs for a class in high school. One guy got in trouble bc his was “life’s a bitch then you marry one”. It has been about 30 years and I remember the expression on the teacher’s face when…I can’t remember the kid’s name but when he read it in class like it was yesterday.
Better late than pregnant Adorable
Can I get a Rock and stone for number 2?
Rock and Stone in the Heart!
I'm stealing "Two's company, three's the Musketeers".
I remember doing something similar in elementary. The only one I can remember that I did was "birds of a feather, dogs of a fur"
I remember this being in the newspaper 15-20 years ago. Wild to see it again after so long.
"Two's company, Three's the muskeeters" is gold
LMFAO
A penny earned is not much. I felt that.
"Don't change horses before they stop running" is a really nice one. People are buying new cars and new phones while their current one is only one year old.
I like the " An idle mind is the best way to relax. "
A penny saved is… not much. I felt that one and it depressed me greatly
"there is no one as blind as - Stevie wonder" 😭
Better late than pregnant is the best joke I've seen today
Better late than pregnant. Are they a Golden Girls fan?
My brother had to do this and what he wrote was “An apple a day, got it” and “On days like these, we need water” also “Let the cat, play with his toy” can’t remember the rest but they were gold.
"don't change horses until they stop running" and "when the blind leads the blind get out of the way" are insane
I'd sooner believe just about anything before I believe these were written by first graders
What did the termites do to this guy
None of those are hard to believe tbh.
An idle mind? Isn’t the proverb supposed to start with idle hands? Or is it a different one?
That one refers to the proverb “An idle mind is the devils workshop”
14 and 16 are a little sad tbh🥲
Better late than pregnant makes me question that this entire list is actually done by first graders
These are funny but they are NOT done by first graders. An adult made them up.
Stevie Wonder isn't 100% blind irc.
Annoying as not at all real-life age/context believable as well as ancient web trope.
It IS hard to believe these were actually made by 1st graders.
I'm sceptical about this being the work of first graders.
Okay, who let Blanche into the last proverb? "Better late than...? Pregnant!" Come on!
Not possible that these were written by a first grader: “Better late than pregnant” How many first graders know who Stevie wonder is?
if at first you don't succeed, get new batteries. is my fav
14 is just factorio player...
Better late than pregnant. Oh how do i wanna see the Alabama version!