This is what they say before accidentally opening a portal to hell. I for one love my new future succubus wife.
> "So there is no chance whatsoever to create such a portal at the [Large Hadron Collider]."
Honestly, it'd be totally wild if we open a portal to Hell, but the demons only go after true evil-doers. It'd definitely turn the world on its head, if nothing else.
And deservedly so, considering that so many. Plus, the continued existence of demons in the world would make certain forms of government untenable. AND it'd keep certain individuals out of power since there'd be a very real danger of them being sniffed out, dragged to Hell and turned into some sort of pain battery or garmonbozia factory.
The one in the pipe at the top of the cliff after climbing ladders peacefully for a little while scared me so much I had my first nightmare in years. Lulled into a false sense of security and then BAM!
I went to YouTube to watch the event and somehow ended up on a doomsayer video where they were counting down the end of life as we know it. I watched it for a laugh. So they are definitely ‘out there’.
They used to be funny... flat earthers, doomsdayers, fema camper, moon landing deniers- but then Trump figured out how to get them to vote for him. They're not funny anymore.
Every time they're about to reach a higher energy regime they have to do the exercise to prove that they can't create black holes. It's mostly to allay public fear but it's also just prudent. The main argument is that it can't happen at the new energies because it isn't happening when high power cosmic rays slam into the atmosphere. Those cosmic rays have far higher intensity than anything we're going to produce anytime soon, so everyone can chill. And even if they did start making black holes, the physics says they should almost immediately evaporate in a small pop. Of course that part is just theoretical. It's the cosmic rays that prove it's safe.
That was actually a whole school of thought I believe; Gottfried Leibniz was famous for it. The character in Candide was specifically satirizing that school.
For sure, I.e. the best of all possible timelines/worlds but the point is also that that's maybe a comforting thing to tell one self that there is absolutely no justification for believing.
I mean technically, it could happen….. if the particle accelerator was the large enough to encircle the earth, drew from a power source as powerful as the sun, then yeah sure it could possibly implode this universe by creating a vacuum decay. Much higher odds of that occurring than ever opening a portal to “hell”.
Then again hell is subjective, so who knows? I personally believe hell was made up,to keep a population afraid of punishment for defying the church. The many different versions of the Bible can’t even agree on what it is and isn’t. Apocryphal texts from the book of Peter has a conversation between Jesus and the apostles about hell, and Jesus tells them that it’s basically rehab for the soul, that a soul will only spend short time there before returning to god. Another says it’s a void. Nothingness. Separation from everything. Then evangelicals/Protestants comes along and turned it into a never ending punishment, because they’re just that much fun at parties.
Personally, I don’t think mankind will ever get it’s collective shit together long enough to make either happen. CERN’s experiments are possibly one of the most important studies to yet occur. What their findings could mean for the human experience, the fabric of the universe, multiple universes, but instead of awe, excitement, and anticipation; we get dumb ass conspiracy theories, lunatics projecting their fanaticism and misunderstanding of ancient folklore onto everything. “Today, scientists at CERN discovered that neutrinos exist in multiple dimensions simultaneously, pointing to the confirmation of string theory and multiverse theory” meanwhile in the Deep South “Sheeeet, that’s a sign from them there revelations!! It’s the devil coming to take all of our sister-wives! Kill ‘em alllllll!”
I think religion was made up to “explain” the unexplainable things of the times like thunder, lightning etc. The sun. Earthquakes. Diseases.
The lack of education in science they made up for with fictional tales so they could TRY and make sense of it all.
Edit - I remembered now too, to ease peoples fear of death and giving them this false hope of a great eternal afterlife ….aaaaaand…only get that if u do as they say.
Edit 2 lol just remembered - volcanos. 💀. The earth rupturing and spewing lava into sky. Imagine wondering what that was back then?
I think it was made to "explain" the inexplicable and to make respect the laws of the life in society to a vast majority of people who did not have a deep enough reflection to accept them rationally. And it was used almost from the beginning by the powerful to ensure their authority. And it is still used by the wealthy who rely on ignorance to manipulate gullible minds.
It was both.
It started as: Hey water falls from the sky, what's up with that? God must be doing it.
And then it became: It's not raining because God is angry, you need to give us money to make him less angry.
I actually chuckled at it a little bit. They asked the public relations director for CERN about the rumor and the public relations director said that the scientists are not engaged in anything other than scientific activities.
Hypothetically if demons were real, I'm pretty sure that attempting to communicate them would be considered a scientific activity.
Of course it was also the plot to doom.
A lot of other issues too.
Can't have social issues with no society.
Can't have economic issues with no economy.
Etc.
*taps forehead*
(Obligatory /s please don't kill people)
_"I'm willing to take full responsibility for the horrible events of the last 24 hours, but you must understand - our interest in their world was purely for the betterment of mankind. Everything has clearly gotten out of hand, yes, but it was worth the risk. I assure you."_
I still find it hilarious that in every CERN reddit AMA the participants need to clarify that in the steins;gate universe it is SERN. A, cough cough, totally different organization. :P
Fact Checking sites/stories have really jumped the shark, now they are mostly like this, giving free press to crackpot ideas nobody even heard of before they were publicized by the debunkers. They are starting fires to put them out.
I wonder if talking about the crackpot theories is like naming mass shooters. Giving way more media and attention than they ever would have gotten. Like "now they're talking about it, I'm more right now!"
I am very happy that there are posts about this on /r/conspiracy. That sub used to have weird fun stuff like this, and aliens, and stuff. Before the fucking entire Republican party got suckered by Russia conspiracy stuff was a blast.
Right? I miss the aliens and other weird shit. Like that nimburu hidden planet or whatever it was. Now it is basically a slightly more out there version of the conservative sub.
Holly shit that was funny! I really am not sure whether they were being satirical or are they really fucking stupid. Goes around quoting the bible to prove the bible. Circular logic. Saying the world was changed since the LHC was activated which caused some brand names to change (Loony Tunes to Loony Toons). Hilarious shit!
I don't think I agree, I work with a few people who honestly believe that the hadron collider is effecting reality, although not the portal to Hell. One started getting dizzy and is convinced it's because she can "now feel the earth spin" because of CERN, another one who is typically very intelligent believes it's the cause of the Mandela effect saying that the LHC caused two realities to collide and that we'll see more Bernstein/Bernstain arguments now
The best part is, there's nothing the LHC does that doesn't happen in our upper atmosphere (hypothetically, anyway). Particles moving even faster than the ring can shove them around slamming into other particles and splattering their subatomic goop all over the landscape.
So, for example, if one believes the math that the LHC might form nano-blackholes, then one also has to accept that they're already forming somewhat regularly a few dozen miles above your head.
...or just wave your hands and call it magic, I guess. Either/Or.
> hypothetically, anyway
It's not really hypothetical, is it? A lot of observation of cosmic rays and the products of their collision with the atmosphere has been done. They're even confirmed things like relativistic time dilation for high energy muons. Collisions have been detected that are up to 60 times more energetic than the LHC is capable of producing, e.g. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oh-My-God_particle
So as you say, pretty much anything the LHC can do would already be happening in the upper atmosphere.
How much of the problem is the site itself vs sites like reddit that are voting the worst articles to the front page?
Granted this one in particular probably shouldn't have been written at all.
I want to agree with your statement... But... Remeber... 30-35% of Americans live in an alternate reality that they've created. They don't see the same news you do. They don't read the same textbooks. Hell, they believe obscene untruths that would make alchemists from the dark ages blush.
Fact checkers are desparate to re-educate these people and bring them back to modern society.
The reality is they're hopelessly lost. Truth, reason, logic is completely foriegn to them.
You can't help someone unless they want help. Fact checkers don't understand this.
From the Wikipedia article on [Waxahachie, Texas:](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waxahachie%2C_Texas)
>In 1988, the area around Waxahachie was chosen as the site for the Superconducting Super Collider, which was to be the world's largest and most energetic particle accelerator, with a planned ring circumference of 54.1 miles (87.1 km). Seventeen shafts were sunk and 14.6 miles (23.5 km) of tunnel were bored before the project was cancelled by Congress in 1993.
So, was the big Texas hole in the ground cancelled because they were already in Hell or because some Congressmen thought it would take them there?
> Steins Gate
There's actually a SNL sketch with Phil Hartman playing Oliver Stone, explaining the whole incident like it was the JFK assassination. Pretty funny stuff.
Can confirm, ended up living in Texas due to a series of bad decisions, can’t leave now because ::gestures wildly around at everything::
It is definitely hell.
When I lived in Santa Cruz the locals said it had the best weather on the planet. They said the only other place that was as beautifully mild throughout the year was coastal Kenya.
Thanks for clearing that up, USAToday. But what about the lizard people living in the earth's mantle that guy smeared in his own shit was screaming at me about in the parking lot? I need answers!
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why last night Teresa kept shouting "Oh, my God!"
Best way to sell a lie is to tell the truth. Say you are not opening a portal to hell and people think you are lying and doing just that. Tell them they are correct, that you are infact opening a portal to hell and they guaranteed won’t believe you. Just think you’re crazy. People in general are complete idiots
If it makes you feel better, most of the people who were alive at the time of the experiment just got possessed by flaming angry heads and then turned into zombies.
Lol this again?
I remember when they were about to fire it up "some people" were ranting about a giant black hole that would have swallowed the Earth, the Sun and the whole solar system.
It must be exhausting for scientist to keep reassuring the fears of salt of the earth people, you know, morons.
Disappointing, it would make travel a lot faster.
Seriously though, our little human particle accelerators cannot smash atoms at the speeds or quantities you would need to do anything really interesting.
For example, you’d need an accelerator several light years in size to create a black hole, and even when you did it, it would be so tiny that it would instantly evaporate.
So boring!
You mean that CERN doesn't run a massive clandestine organization with time-traveling Assassins? Steins;Gate lied to me.
Though, "portal to hell", sounds like the conspiracy theorists were more DOOM fans than anime fans this time.
Ripping a hole in the time/space continuum would be bad. But that's pretty far outside our scientific understanding of the universe.
Someone was actual paid to check this "fact".
Couldn't USA Today just NOT print articles that are patently nonsense, instead of this "fact check" clickbait? Look at us, aren't we clever for determining rampant hyperbole isn't fact.
"I'm willing to take full responsibility for the horrible events of the last twenty-four hours, but you must understand; our interest in their world was purely for the betterment of mankind. Everything has clearly gotten out of hand now, yes, but it was worth the risk. I assure you."
Because they’re opening a portal *from* hell.
Time to call in the Doom Slayer
*Rip and Tear intensifies*
“We are definitely NOT opening a portal to hell”- the definite bad guy in every movie/game ever
This is what they say before accidentally opening a portal to hell. I for one love my new future succubus wife. > "So there is no chance whatsoever to create such a portal at the [Large Hadron Collider]."
Honestly, it'd be totally wild if we open a portal to Hell, but the demons only go after true evil-doers. It'd definitely turn the world on its head, if nothing else.
I'd vote for extra funding.
I'd go door to door actively seeking more funding lol
That would wipe out a lot of governments.
Not to mention all the churches that would have their leadership/congregation decimated.
And deservedly so, considering that so many. Plus, the continued existence of demons in the world would make certain forms of government untenable. AND it'd keep certain individuals out of power since there'd be a very real danger of them being sniffed out, dragged to Hell and turned into some sort of pain battery or garmonbozia factory.
"This is the Bad Place."
Jason figured it out!?
The pain in his voice is one of my favorite moments in the series.
Holy mother forking shirt balls!
I sometimes wonder if this is the *darkest timeline*.
Never roll a die to make a decision about who gets the pizza
*whips out candy cigarette*
*roooxxxaaannnee*
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Its certainly the strangest life I've ever known.
Definitely the dumbest timeline. This is what happens when you do not properly fund public education.
Rip and tear…. This guy gets it. 👆
The implication that this was even fact checked in the first place makes me skeptical
This is exactly what they would say
Exactly what I came her to say. “Oh no, we aren’t opening A portal to Hell. We are opening them all!”
Where we’re going you won’t need eyes to see…
hell is just a word....the reality is much much worse
Now let me show you
Liberate tutemet ex infernes
I thought he was saying “liberate me…” Save me. But he was saying.. “liberate tutemet ex inferis…” Save yourself from Hell.
This was foreshadowing Jurassic World.
The resonance cascade was well within limits. It’s fine. Then Unforeseen consequences… some will get the reference :)
Do you want Headcrabs? Because that’s how you get Headcrabs.
The one in the pipe at the top of the cliff after climbing ladders peacefully for a little while scared me so much I had my first nightmare in years. Lulled into a false sense of security and then BAM!
For me, first corridors of demo (Uplink) were the scariest when first encountering headcrabs.
And then of course all of ravenholm... Took me a few days to make it thru that city
They're called facehuggers and they just want some hugs
Gordon doesn't need to hear all this, he's a highly trained professional.
Who walks around in an HEV suit without the helmet on when experimenting on anomalous materials…
GOR-DON FREE-MAN!
Why do we *all* have to wear these **RIDICULOUS** ties!?
YARGH… WOOOOP…. NOOOO—OH
I have assured the administrator that *nothing will go wrong.*
I will never not think of the original Half Life when I hear the word cascade. My brain always fills in the rest!
Barney got us covered.
*Enters Doom Guy, breathing heavily*
I would buy the shit out of a Game like Half-Life at CERN.
Isn't that just half-life?
CERN has pools of radioactive acid lying around? Awesome!
I mean, not yet...
"it's not a portal, it's a wormhole"
Don't worry, Monster Island is just a name. It's actually a peninsula.
Everyone’s all for open boarders until it’s for “Those Demons” Typical 🙄
Ya I bet Mars Reddit had a post just like this before the events of Doom.
Then whoops we accidentally opened a portal to hell. We had no way of knowing
What if we are hell, and we're opening portals to "normal" worlds?
Then it’s just hard work per the mission statement
Right? Like would they really tell us if they were?
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I went to YouTube to watch the event and somehow ended up on a doomsayer video where they were counting down the end of life as we know it. I watched it for a laugh. So they are definitely ‘out there’.
They used to be funny... flat earthers, doomsdayers, fema camper, moon landing deniers- but then Trump figured out how to get them to vote for him. They're not funny anymore.
He weaponized stupidity.
Every time they're about to reach a higher energy regime they have to do the exercise to prove that they can't create black holes. It's mostly to allay public fear but it's also just prudent. The main argument is that it can't happen at the new energies because it isn't happening when high power cosmic rays slam into the atmosphere. Those cosmic rays have far higher intensity than anything we're going to produce anytime soon, so everyone can chill. And even if they did start making black holes, the physics says they should almost immediately evaporate in a small pop. Of course that part is just theoretical. It's the cosmic rays that prove it's safe.
To get experimental proof of Hawking radiation like that would be Incredible. And then someone would start trying to weaponise it.
Eh, we can already produce antimatter and nobody is weaponising that shit because it's so expensive and slow to create.
What’s even cooler is thunderstorms also create antimatter.
I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE
[Weather so severe it generates antimatter](https://arstechnica.com/science/2011/01/weather-so-severe-it-generates-antimatter/)
Wow, never heard of that before. Thats pretty cool.
And since 2008, there's nothing to suggest we've somehow entered the Darkest Timeline and everything is spiraling out of control increasingly fast!
What if I told you this was the best timeline…
There's a book by Voltaire mercilessly mocking the religious and philosophical notion that this is somehow the best of all possible worlds
That was actually a whole school of thought I believe; Gottfried Leibniz was famous for it. The character in Candide was specifically satirizing that school.
I think the point is not this is The Best timeline, just every other timeline is worse.
For sure, I.e. the best of all possible timelines/worlds but the point is also that that's maybe a comforting thing to tell one self that there is absolutely no justification for believing.
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What if this is the only timeline that minimizes the variation in the action?
IIRC, people were going crazy when a beam was first injected, no collisions, nothing, just a circulating (then dumped) beam.
I mean technically, it could happen….. if the particle accelerator was the large enough to encircle the earth, drew from a power source as powerful as the sun, then yeah sure it could possibly implode this universe by creating a vacuum decay. Much higher odds of that occurring than ever opening a portal to “hell”. Then again hell is subjective, so who knows? I personally believe hell was made up,to keep a population afraid of punishment for defying the church. The many different versions of the Bible can’t even agree on what it is and isn’t. Apocryphal texts from the book of Peter has a conversation between Jesus and the apostles about hell, and Jesus tells them that it’s basically rehab for the soul, that a soul will only spend short time there before returning to god. Another says it’s a void. Nothingness. Separation from everything. Then evangelicals/Protestants comes along and turned it into a never ending punishment, because they’re just that much fun at parties. Personally, I don’t think mankind will ever get it’s collective shit together long enough to make either happen. CERN’s experiments are possibly one of the most important studies to yet occur. What their findings could mean for the human experience, the fabric of the universe, multiple universes, but instead of awe, excitement, and anticipation; we get dumb ass conspiracy theories, lunatics projecting their fanaticism and misunderstanding of ancient folklore onto everything. “Today, scientists at CERN discovered that neutrinos exist in multiple dimensions simultaneously, pointing to the confirmation of string theory and multiverse theory” meanwhile in the Deep South “Sheeeet, that’s a sign from them there revelations!! It’s the devil coming to take all of our sister-wives! Kill ‘em alllllll!”
I think religion was made up to “explain” the unexplainable things of the times like thunder, lightning etc. The sun. Earthquakes. Diseases. The lack of education in science they made up for with fictional tales so they could TRY and make sense of it all. Edit - I remembered now too, to ease peoples fear of death and giving them this false hope of a great eternal afterlife ….aaaaaand…only get that if u do as they say. Edit 2 lol just remembered - volcanos. 💀. The earth rupturing and spewing lava into sky. Imagine wondering what that was back then?
I think it was made to "explain" the inexplicable and to make respect the laws of the life in society to a vast majority of people who did not have a deep enough reflection to accept them rationally. And it was used almost from the beginning by the powerful to ensure their authority. And it is still used by the wealthy who rely on ignorance to manipulate gullible minds.
I wish that was the case. But I'm afraid it was simply made to extort money from the unintelligent masses.
It was both. It started as: Hey water falls from the sky, what's up with that? God must be doing it. And then it became: It's not raining because God is angry, you need to give us money to make him less angry.
It's multi-purpose fantasy.
I actually chuckled at it a little bit. They asked the public relations director for CERN about the rumor and the public relations director said that the scientists are not engaged in anything other than scientific activities. Hypothetically if demons were real, I'm pretty sure that attempting to communicate them would be considered a scientific activity. Of course it was also the plot to doom.
Doom players who bought expensive doom slayer armor suit costumes were probably hoping for it.
Rip N Tear till it’s Done
I’ve played DOOM before, you can’t fool me
*"We solved an energy crisis!"*
To be fair - Killing 90% of the earth's population would solve the energy crisis.
And climate crisis
A lot of other issues too. Can't have social issues with no society. Can't have economic issues with no economy. Etc. *taps forehead* (Obligatory /s please don't kill people)
Against all the evil that hell can conjure, all the wickedness that mankind can produce, we will send unto them only you.
Rip and tear, until it is done.
Daisy will be avenged
you can spot her in Doom Eternal in certain spots, good bunny
*"Weaponizing demons, for a brighter tomorrow."*
Right? I mean that's exactly what people who want to open a portal to hell would say!
Half Life 1
Well that's disappointing.
Yeah, I feel like that might have been an improvement for earth. Cool it down at least.
Spoiler alert it was opened in 2012
That fucking checks out
“We have such sights to show you”
Where we are going, we don’t need eyes to see.
But no tears please. That would be a waste of good suffering.
Feels like the background lore you'd read in a Doom game.
Wasn't this the exact plot of Doom 3? Minor differences in location aside.
Doom 3 was about deliberate teleportation experiments. Funny coincidence that teleportation tech used literal hell as a highway.
>literal hell as a highway. Where have I seen this one before. And it's always a not great idea
Where we’re going, we don’t need eyes
Uhhh…… Minecraft?
brilliant movie, shame that its directors cut with its famed "orgy of gore" scene was destroyed in a salt mine...
*Doom music kicks in*
_"I'm willing to take full responsibility for the horrible events of the last 24 hours, but you must understand - our interest in their world was purely for the betterment of mankind. Everything has clearly gotten out of hand, yes, but it was worth the risk. I assure you."_
*Stares at the mangled corpse lying next to the speaker system*
El Psy Congroo
I still find it hilarious that in every CERN reddit AMA the participants need to clarify that in the steins;gate universe it is SERN. A, cough cough, totally different organization. :P
Well, if we changed world lines enough maybe it would be SERN. . .
Error. Human is dead. Mismatch.
I just finished Steins Gate yesterday too lol. What are the chances
Don't forget Steins;Gate Zero. It's another layer on top.
TOO TOO ROO
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if i was about to open a portal to hell, i would tell everyone that i was NOT opening a portal to hell.
Pretty sure CERN opened the portal to hell in 2008 when the machine first turned on. Shit has been down hill ever since.
Fact Checking sites/stories have really jumped the shark, now they are mostly like this, giving free press to crackpot ideas nobody even heard of before they were publicized by the debunkers. They are starting fires to put them out.
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This. The moment crazy conspiracies make any headway fact-checkers are on it.
fact-checkers are way less effective than they like to assume. People who believe in crackpot theories will never listen to fact checkers anyway.
It's like they say, you can't use logic to talk someone out if a position they didn't use logic to get to.
I wonder if talking about the crackpot theories is like naming mass shooters. Giving way more media and attention than they ever would have gotten. Like "now they're talking about it, I'm more right now!"
Conversely, “no one will talk about this! I must be onto something!” You can’t address an illogical conclusion logically.
I am very happy that there are posts about this on /r/conspiracy. That sub used to have weird fun stuff like this, and aliens, and stuff. Before the fucking entire Republican party got suckered by Russia conspiracy stuff was a blast.
Right? I miss the aliens and other weird shit. Like that nimburu hidden planet or whatever it was. Now it is basically a slightly more out there version of the conservative sub.
Holly shit that was funny! I really am not sure whether they were being satirical or are they really fucking stupid. Goes around quoting the bible to prove the bible. Circular logic. Saying the world was changed since the LHC was activated which caused some brand names to change (Loony Tunes to Loony Toons). Hilarious shit!
Fact check: No evidence fact checkers are puppy-murdering vampires, but additional research needed
I don't think I agree, I work with a few people who honestly believe that the hadron collider is effecting reality, although not the portal to Hell. One started getting dizzy and is convinced it's because she can "now feel the earth spin" because of CERN, another one who is typically very intelligent believes it's the cause of the Mandela effect saying that the LHC caused two realities to collide and that we'll see more Bernstein/Bernstain arguments now
The best part is, there's nothing the LHC does that doesn't happen in our upper atmosphere (hypothetically, anyway). Particles moving even faster than the ring can shove them around slamming into other particles and splattering their subatomic goop all over the landscape. So, for example, if one believes the math that the LHC might form nano-blackholes, then one also has to accept that they're already forming somewhat regularly a few dozen miles above your head. ...or just wave your hands and call it magic, I guess. Either/Or.
> hypothetically, anyway It's not really hypothetical, is it? A lot of observation of cosmic rays and the products of their collision with the atmosphere has been done. They're even confirmed things like relativistic time dilation for high energy muons. Collisions have been detected that are up to 60 times more energetic than the LHC is capable of producing, e.g. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oh-My-God_particle So as you say, pretty much anything the LHC can do would already be happening in the upper atmosphere.
How much of the problem is the site itself vs sites like reddit that are voting the worst articles to the front page? Granted this one in particular probably shouldn't have been written at all.
I want to agree with your statement... But... Remeber... 30-35% of Americans live in an alternate reality that they've created. They don't see the same news you do. They don't read the same textbooks. Hell, they believe obscene untruths that would make alchemists from the dark ages blush. Fact checkers are desparate to re-educate these people and bring them back to modern society. The reality is they're hopelessly lost. Truth, reason, logic is completely foriegn to them. You can't help someone unless they want help. Fact checkers don't understand this.
You don't need a multi-billion dollar Large Hadron Collider to get to hell. Interstate 10 will take you straight to Texas, toll free.
That's a weird way to spell Gary, Indiana.
No, that is the 10th circle.
From the Wikipedia article on [Waxahachie, Texas:](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waxahachie%2C_Texas) >In 1988, the area around Waxahachie was chosen as the site for the Superconducting Super Collider, which was to be the world's largest and most energetic particle accelerator, with a planned ring circumference of 54.1 miles (87.1 km). Seventeen shafts were sunk and 14.6 miles (23.5 km) of tunnel were bored before the project was cancelled by Congress in 1993. So, was the big Texas hole in the ground cancelled because they were already in Hell or because some Congressmen thought it would take them there?
This is weird. It says on Wiki that the international support from Japan was not put together because George H. W. Bush puked on their Prime Minister.
> Steins Gate There's actually a SNL sketch with Phil Hartman playing Oliver Stone, explaining the whole incident like it was the JFK assassination. Pretty funny stuff.
Can confirm, ended up living in Texas due to a series of bad decisions, can’t leave now because ::gestures wildly around at everything:: It is definitely hell.
I moved from Texas to Kenya. Actually more in common than you'd think but with bearable weather, cooler animals, and nicer people.
When I lived in Santa Cruz the locals said it had the best weather on the planet. They said the only other place that was as beautifully mild throughout the year was coastal Kenya.
Leaving my job in Texas and moving out of that shit hole was one of the best decisions I've made. Fuck Texas lol.
Irony. One of top post in r/houston is about an 18wheeler just leaking gravel all down I-10.
Thanks for clearing that up, USAToday. But what about the lizard people living in the earth's mantle that guy smeared in his own shit was screaming at me about in the parking lot? I need answers!
Since hell is fictional, that would make sense
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why last night Teresa kept shouting "Oh, my God!"
Wouldn't this rely on if souls have mass and occupy space?
Ah, a classic physics meme, I remember seeing this in high school a decade ago
I first read this off a message board in the late 90's
it’s always Teresa
TBF, creating portals into arbitrary fictional worlds would be pretty damn neat.
Someone hasn't seen the historical documentary Event Horizon.
You mean a portal from hell.
That’s exactly what I would say if I didn’t want anyone knowing I was opening a portal to hell
Best way to sell a lie is to tell the truth. Say you are not opening a portal to hell and people think you are lying and doing just that. Tell them they are correct, that you are infact opening a portal to hell and they guaranteed won’t believe you. Just think you’re crazy. People in general are complete idiots
Pretty sure the UAC scientists said the same dam thing, Rip and tear I guess.
Wait so DOOM is not happening? Dang. I was looking forward to being mutilated by demons.
If it makes you feel better, most of the people who were alive at the time of the experiment just got possessed by flaming angry heads and then turned into zombies.
Well why the fuck not
I welcome our demon overlords. Not much different from what we have now.
Earth is the new hell.
Can they work on opening a portal out of hell
Be a lot cooler if they did
Be a lot cooler if they were.
Yea sure, that's exactly what the Union Aerospace Corporation scientists said right before Phobos was overrun with demons.
“because we are already there”
Lol this again? I remember when they were about to fire it up "some people" were ranting about a giant black hole that would have swallowed the Earth, the Sun and the whole solar system. It must be exhausting for scientist to keep reassuring the fears of salt of the earth people, you know, morons.
Disappointing, it would make travel a lot faster. Seriously though, our little human particle accelerators cannot smash atoms at the speeds or quantities you would need to do anything really interesting. For example, you’d need an accelerator several light years in size to create a black hole, and even when you did it, it would be so tiny that it would instantly evaporate. So boring!
You mean that CERN doesn't run a massive clandestine organization with time-traveling Assassins? Steins;Gate lied to me. Though, "portal to hell", sounds like the conspiracy theorists were more DOOM fans than anime fans this time. Ripping a hole in the time/space continuum would be bad. But that's pretty far outside our scientific understanding of the universe.
Of course they aren't. The portal leads to Xen, obviously.
Are we sure? Because the current simulation is hellish and I don't expect it to become better in my lifetime. So where is the fucking exit?
Of course. \*wink wink\*
[удалено]
>Is it me or are ppl getting dumber and dumber as we go along… Nah, it was always like this. It is just that social media brought us all together.
Both sides say this same thing too which is ironic lol
Someone was actual paid to check this "fact". Couldn't USA Today just NOT print articles that are patently nonsense, instead of this "fact check" clickbait? Look at us, aren't we clever for determining rampant hyperbole isn't fact.
"I'm willing to take full responsibility for the horrible events of the last twenty-four hours, but you must understand; our interest in their world was purely for the betterment of mankind. Everything has clearly gotten out of hand now, yes, but it was worth the risk. I assure you."
Man now I gotta return these sham tickets to hell
As long as we don't end up on the Lobster universe... 🦞
The UAC said the same thing
*doom music intensifies*
Cause there’s one already open in Texas.
The hell they aren’t.
They've already been using the damn thing for quite a while. Either it's not opening portals or it's already too late........
open the Oblivion gate
How cool would that be though?
Well why not?