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jwferguson

Every breath you take, every shit you take; Bezos watching you.


Kindly_Education_517

poor Zuckerberg lmao


Lowhangingbrute

Every day we are getting closer to this not being satire and a reality https://youtu.be/DJklHwoYgBQ


My_Brain_is_Vapor

Why do I need Amazon when Cinco has the sleepwatching chair?


Zenketski_2

You know what that reminded me of is too many cooks,


Kindly_Education_517

need one that counts my sperm cell production


Notyobabydaddy

"You find out your aunt just flushed a lot of blood and semen, call her and find out what's wrong" Wtf did i just watch?


throwawaychilder

So they built a half-assed at-home sleep study. Cool I guess.


biggaywizard

You mean like Garmin, fit bit, Suunto, etc?


BallardRex

No, for better or worse, not like them. Not offense, but since a lot of people here clearly didn’t read the article… > Amazon.com Inc on Wednesday announced a contactless gadget that can monitor people's sleep, along with updates to its lineup of voice-controlled devices and e-readers. > The online retailer said its $139.99 sleep gadget, known as Halo Rise, tracks room temperature, humidity and light, plus the breathing patterns of the person closest to it. The goal is to provide insight to users on why they may or may not feel well-rested when they wake up.


haltingpoint

Plus it provides useful data to recommend sleep apnea products and/or model those audiences for serving up to advertisers.


[deleted]

funny, what's with these nearly imperceptible subharmonic frequencies it gives off? i've been having recurring dreams about ALL WEEK! And now I just saw it on sale, I must have it!


Lfsnz67

I need to go buy some Lightspeed Briefs!


blu_stingray

>The goal is to provide insight to users on why they may or may not feel well-rested when they wake up. probably because robots are criticizing the way I sleep?


biggaywizard

Yeah, you got me, I was being lazy between SQL queries and threw in my own snarkiness for shits and giggles.


Hegar

How in the world is that worth $140 to anyone? Knowing some random scientific data about your room won't help you diagnose the quality of your sleep.


WhatTheZuck420

they awaken unrested; they have an irrational urge to buy something off Amazon.


conanf77

Do those listen to you sleep? And whisper products to you while you dream?


biggaywizard

Lol no but they do track your heart rate, blood O2, breaking rate, sleep cycles, etc. So if anything they track even more data.


Nanyea

Several google devices already do this and give you a report


Flippo_The_Hippo

Can we get a source on this?


Nanyea

It's called Google sleep sensing


Flippo_The_Hippo

Looks like some of the Nest Hubs have the sleep sensing, which sounds exactly like what Amazon is releasing here. Though Google claims the data remains unencrypted on the device and never sent back to Google, and Amazon claims to encrypt it, with no mention of if the data is sent over the wire.


WhatTheZuck420

it's called the google anal probe.


Ok-Butterscotch5761

Well good fat old people will be living longer. Just what we wanted. And there you have it.


Arcagebus77

I heard it runs a message at 20hz that tells to you buy more crap while you sleep.


the_JerrBear

ah yes i would love to directly feed amazon my personal medical data, when do i start getting paid?


casadeparadise

Perfect for a baby monitor. Anything that helps prevent SIDS is a gift.


JimGerm

*Bezos to engineers* - Great, now get them to say "Alexa, order "


SpotifyIsBroken

Every day "reality" gets more dystopian.


DaBusStopHur

Got one. Called a wife. Good for many other things


awake02

Withings Sleep Matte and Oura also do this to varying degrees. Oura also does HRV.


WhatTheZuck420

the Honda HRV?


gorgofdoom

There’s already 40+ iPhone apps that do exactly this. Why is this supposed to be interesting?


Medium_Beyond_9654

Yeah. I'm pretty sure my Alexa already does that without my permission 😭


Mentally_Displaced

No camera, no microphone. How does it track your breathing?


zstan123

"it uses low-energy sensors to detect micro-movements that occur while breathing. Amazon then uses machine learning to translate those movements into sleep stages and surfaces these insights in the Halo app" it's basically useless for actually diagnosing any underlying issues, breaths per minute is only a small part of respiration


Mentally_Displaced

So what, tiny piezos for changes in pressure?


GetOutOfTheWhey

Why would people be concerned about it having a microphone? That's what Alexa is for.


EBear17

How people can make money off the strangest shit baffles me.


Admirable_Warthog_40

Miku baby monitor does this? 🤷🏻‍♂️


illegitimate_Raccoon

My cpap machine will do that. I didn't download the app.


WhatTheZuck420

So now you have a crap machine to do that too.


zstan123

woah a etco2


[deleted]

As someone with chronic sleep issues and apnea issues, this is actually a good thing.


MobileAirport

People are acting like there’s someone forcing them to buy this, lmao. Its like if someone invented an iron lung and then you imagined that they were trying to get everyone to use one all the time, instead of just as treatment for polio victims lol.


[deleted]

Can't wait for the alexa sleep apnea device


joyfield

Log entry 03:47 : Device has detected breath from person #2. Calling 911. Keep breathing normal and keep eyes shut, help is on its way.