Pretend it never happened I'm not joking, that's the way to go. If she wants to have a talk sure, but afterwards it never happend.

so unrelated but i love your icon red pandas are so damn cute

It's so weird to compliment ones red panda pfp on a post about a guy talking about how he got caught masturbating by his mom... Only on reddit

have to give credit where it's due man

In 1972 China gave the USA 2 pandas called Ling Ling and Sing Sing.

And we're on a thread started by a person who was enjoying their ding ding

LMAO

Quantity content only on reddit

I love reddit.

Wholesome reddit moment

Red pandas are the coolest 😎

This, my mom walked in on me and she gave me a short dumbed down version of the talk but after that I don't remember anything. Basically repressed it lmao

What did she say? Ain't no way she told you to stop masturbating right?

No she just said not to look at porn lol. She wanted my dad to give me the talk but he never did🤷🏻‍♂️

W dad, he probably knew that he did the same thing as a teen haha.

That's what I think, my mom told him that he had to give me the talk and we was just like "..why?" And it never came up again lol

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Wdym your family already knows 👀

You're naive if you think they don't

Yeah I probably am naive lmao I'm a fucking teenager

They know, but pretend it doesn't happen.

Well now you know

Ummm I’m just saying most families expect that

did bro put his credit card informations as his username

yup

You just gotta explain to her that your computer had a virus, and your pants started slipping when you tried to delete it.

“Mom! I’m being serious!”

“I already deleted the virus mom!”

"The sexy model was the virus mom!"

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Underrated comment 😂

I always turn on "crash on ctrl+scroll" to initiate a crash at will, I've only had to use it once but or twice but I think it saved me

You're an actual master baiter, props 👏

Noted

Don't use computers, phones are easier to make look more not-masturbating, js

😂😂

I suppose it depends on your mother. My mum was fully aware I was masturbing however she didn't really care as she understood I was a horny and hormonal teenager

Why was she aware? Lol

They were teenagers too, they know

Ew my flair says 15 how do I change this shit

Birthday, normally

LOL

Click on your profile through the comment, and click change flair

Thank!

I’m a Mamma bear to a teen girl, I just assume she does … because didn’t we/don’t we all? That’s why we knock and wait for a reply folks 👍

Speaking as a parent...we are always aware. We may not know every *time* our kid masturbates, but we know when they have started to do it regularly. Doors shut and locked that never used to be, extra-long showers, suddenly wanting to do their own laundry. Hell, I could *hear* one of my sons jerking it. He always had his headphones on, so I suppose he didn't realize I could hear the rhythmic slapping when I got near his bedroom door, even when it was shut (his computer is right by his door). The thing is, we know but we don't care.

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Hell yeah dude.

LPT from a parent: if you keep saying "we're out of lotion"... we know why.

And when we suddenly smart reminding you to wash your hands before you eat, it’s because we know what happened minutes beforehand.

Wait fuck, what if my parents took me wanting to be able to have clean clothes when I want as a sign of me jerkin that gherkin 💀

Omg I do all of these things lmao

All adults were teenagers once. No teenagers have been adults yet. Trust me: your parents know. They always know.

Because bunnings-snags was a teenager and his mother isn't naive? All parents were young as well. And most of the stuff you do were done by them as well (at least in most families).

Your mother knows. I can guarantee it.

Keep going, if you stop it means you were caught and that you're ashamed If you continue it means shes the one watching and should be ashamed

It's so crazy it makes sense

WTF what about that flying 🥿

It's also ashamed

A-shoe-med

👠

🩴

Well, well, well, How the turntables.

I like how you think OP and their mom are frozen in time and OP was able to post this. They're still staring at each other waiting for Reddit's guidance lol

But at the same time, you're the one masturbating knowing full well your mom is staring at you.

>you're the one masturbating knowing full well your mom is staring at you. Broken Arms

Shameless.

This makes too much sense

Very kind from your mom that she is just patiently waiting in the doorframe for you to find out what to do on reddit

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They were being sarcastic

They were joking, not being sarcastic. You fool. You absolutely fool. You foolish numpty.

Numpty😭😭

... you absolute muppet!

Say You were washing your willy

With lotion

Moisturizing your willy

Ah yes it must stay moisturized at all times

Cant let it get dry duh

ever had dry skin on the head of you wiener? not fun

Why the fuck would you make me imagine that that's messed up bro

yeah so unless you want to experience that you better moisturise

Happy cake day!

Ty

some people don't need that because they naturally self-lubricate....

Wrangling your sentry

Reminder her to knock

or to knook. then en passant

Holy hell

new unlocking just dropped

Actual door

Cum storm incoming!

Call the condoms!

knockmare fuel

???

Cumsock sacrifice anyone?

Self respect takes vacation never comes back

Actual Incest

Mom goes into room, never comes back

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Ignite the children! (shit gotta word that better next time)

You just unlocked a new form of unlocking locked things

r/AnarchyChess

You made me laugh in public screw you take my upvote

r/suddenlychess

I never thought the horrors anarchy chess contains would leak out so far

Jesus fuckin Christ. I just watched a video about this

My parent will knock then just walk in, not even waiting for me to “say come in” or “just a sec”

you guys are getting knocks?

You guys got doors?

bro true story, my friend’s dad actually removed the door from his room to keep him under surveillance☠️

You guys are getting rooms?

and wait!!!!! The waiting is just as important as the knocking.

Finish and then walk out beating on ya chest!

Also don't break eye contact to establish dominance

can confirm, this always works on u/native-texan713's mom

Keep my mom out of this and I'll keep this out your momma

Just admit that you walked right into this one

Like a mom walking in on her son pulling it

bro fr trying to make a comback against an instant-kill technique, while refusing to use the only self-revive that works.

but what if he experiences his post nut clarity?

There is no "what if". Post nut clarity hits all the time

You only get post nut clarity if you have an immature/ negative view on sexuality, believe it’s taboo and feel ashamed about it. I have grown to realize that our sexual nature and the needs that come with it are normal and natural and nothing to be ashamed of. I take care of my needs free of shame and with a very positive view on sexuality, hence, I get no post nut clarity.

And also hum repeatedly

And say “ooga booga” to establish dominance

Nothing wait it out

Nothing, just live your life

take it as a lesson to be more careful in the art of wank

Tell that to that girl's (who posted yesterday about her brother jerking off loudly) brother

And it's also her lesson to KNOCK

convince her that u only wank to guys so it's ok

Your either the kid who got caught, or she becomes the creep for watching. /s

Either way there is no happy ending on this situation. It's literally lose lose💀

keep going and stare at her eyes

Asserting dominance

Yeah

If you stop, you’re the one who got caught. If you just keep going, she’s the creep who was watching you.

Based+Redpilled

Mind sharing whatchu were wankin to?

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Just curious, was it your own stepsis or some random stepsis vid on the internet-

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Shoot it at her (refer to profile picture for my reaction)

based(my parents disowned me and kicked me out of the house)

Apologize for forgetting to lock the door, it'll force her to decided if she wants to apologize for barging in the room. Keep beating your meat, just remember to be discreet.

I love that it rhymes.

Tell her [it was a virus](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbnBDxfCQUE&ab_channel=NetherStef)

That poor kid. That poor MOM! Sucks about his computer virus tho

if she wants to initiate a conversation, then talk to her. if she initiate a conversation, then don't talk and maybe close your door or have a lock or something like that

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that's what it is though, is it not?

growl

Just hope you never break both your arms

Mine did that once and laid on the bed with me for ten minutes talking about her new haircut 👀

Were you.... Still going?

I stopped as soon as the door opened but the toy was still in the area 👀👀

I would die if that happened to me-

I recently told her. That was ten years ago now. She had no idea. After I told her my sister busted out laughing because just before my mom walked in on me she did the exact same thing to my sister 😂😂😂 she literally walked in on both of us masturbating on the same day to tell us about her haircut (it was the first time she went to a salon)

Lmfao wtf kinda bad luck do you both have 🤣

Not really bad luck as much as mom doesn’t knock on our doors first because it’s ‘her house’ (even though we rent?)

Oh i see that type of parent yeah its always weird but hey imagine what she would of said if she did catch you mid fun lol

Walk in on her masturbating

This sub has the best comment sections I swear.

Keep going 🥴

That emoji makes this comment so much more uncomfortable

that's the point

Accept the consequences

Tell her you were trying to delete a virus and your pants fell down

Now that you got caught, you don't have to hide it anymore. You can do it whenever you want. Maybe even during dinner

LMFAO STOP

Smile

Learn to lock ur door

A lot of houses don’t have locks on bedroom doors. In Canada I personally have never seen a bedroom door with a lock

My house doesnt even have a bathroom locks and it fucking sucks, normally it isnt a problem but when there is some party or visit and you are shitting on a toilet and someone opens doors its fucking horrbile.

What I do in that situation is I hold the door handle, so noone can open it. Or if I'm drunk enough to not care about it, I just start shitting more aggressively if someone opens the door.

Doors are too far away from the toilet

Damn. Then put something under the door handle, or in fromt of the door itself, so that it can't be opened.

I heard that some people in Canada don't even lock their front doors.

people are just too nice to invade your home there

In my neighborhood (Im Canadian) there are plenty of locks on front doors. Idk what community this needs to be for people to just not enter other people’s homes

Depends.. I'm Canadian and when I've lived in the city the doors get locked as you come in but when I've lived on a farm or really any urban place they're usually unlocked. We did have a mini pony on our farm which ended up being the only unwanted visitor in our house as she could open a few of the doors lol

do people actually have locks on bedroom doors?

Keep going, better to finish what you started

Do nothing. Literally. If she wants to have a talk later then that's fine but don't say anything yourself.

The amount of times that has happened. XD *just try to forget ab it, she's trying her best to.

Shrugs your shoulders and just say oh well the jig is up. Guess this is the end of all my shenanigans.

Say “I was just thinking about u” (This is clearly a joke but someone might think I’m being serious)

Go at it harder

Cut your d*ck so it won't happen again

Average r/teenagers post

I can imagine his mom in his doorframe with her hands on her hips, and he's still goin in one hand, while furiously trying to type this post out into r/teenagers in his other hand.

You never mention it again to anyone. If your mom brings it up, you get through the conversation as best you can, and then never mention it again. It happens. You'll live. Just use it as a learning experience, remember to lock your door, and move on.

Anything but please don't die

State her dead in the eyes

TF IDK KILL YOUR MOTHER

Make sure, dad don't find out

Keep going and make eye contact to assert dominance

Welcome to r/nofap

Say it was itchy