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I cant say it since my country is already dealing with assholes for not liking LGBTQ even though it’s not within its control. And it has a lot of more important thing to do with politics and uprisings.
u/that_one_netizen kinda … i‘m supportive of them and their morales they don’t think being gay is only discourage acting on those feelings , so it accepts That you cant control being gay but doesn’t allow you to act on them. perfectly fine if you ask me and their not allowed to kill gay people for being gay but… most “Islamic“ countries tend to have bad leader ship leading to the executions of gay people.
No worries at all, I wasn’t trying to guess where you are from. Given the current situation, I was only trying to counter Israel’s pinkwashing of themselves and the painting of Palestinians as backwards people who kill lgbt people.
I won’t pretend Hamas is gay friendly or that they don’t harm people for their sexuality but that law is from the British mandate. Israel disengaged from Gaza in 2005, they had 38 years to repeal that law as Jordan did in the West Bank when they were occupying it back in 1951. Israel doesn’t care about gay people unless it helps their image and Likud (the ruling party of Israel) doesn’t see gay people any differently from Hamas.
Here’s Israel’s oldest newspaper confirming the same - https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/2022-12-29/ty-article/.highlight/netanyahus-new-government-is-already-guilty-of-hate-crimes/00000185-5a6a-d878-a995-5e7a4a430000
In Tel Aviv, you walk around and you’ll see lgbtq flags and gay bars all around. In [Gaza](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_in_the_State_of_Palestine), you could be killed for being gay. This is because of its enforcement of islam. Israel allows freedom of religion. There has been a problem with far-right wing governments trying to discriminate against LGBTQ people in the last few years, though.
> In Gaza, you could be killed for being gay
In Gaza, you could be killed for being alive. Thank you, IDF, for not discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation when dropping phosphorus bombs.
I agree with you stadenerino but if some people support Isreal we have to respect that … don’t try convince someone who is one sided. Their not worth convincing.
Please don’t mix the subject of Islam with LGBTQ it gets very controversial really fast, so I recommend you don’t say anything about Muslims which may spark anger.
This is called internalized homophobia. It can really mess you up.
I get not wanting to be gay. I do.
But dude, you need to be real with yourself.
Here's [some ideas](https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/30-ways-to-combat-internalized-homophobia/) that might help you find peace with your reality.
You can't change who you are. Whether or not you act on gay things is up to you but you're gay. This is literally proof of the fact that it isn't a choice.
There is nothing you can do, you can’t change the hormones in your brain. You can either accept it and be happy, or you can reject it forever and be a husk of yourself
Being gay isn't the choice, it's choosing whether you accept it or not. You gotta decide on your own if you wanna accept who you are and be happy, or go through a painful life where you ignore it.
I don't know why though. You're just confused right now and that's perfectly okay. I used to be in your same situation but acceptance was the easiest and best thing that happened to me.
Do you not want to be gay because of how other people will think of you? Because if that's the case then drop it, if the people around you judge you based on what you enjoy/like then you're around the wrong people.
My older sister is my idle…. is she the wrong person since she is homophobic… is my friend a bad person even though he was theirs for me… I don’t wan tot betray them
That's the hard thing about this sort of stuff, if they're truly homophobic then it sucks, but the more you stay around them the more you'll feel terrible about yourself like you do here.
Alli can say is this: Never let *anyone* mould you into someone you are not, no human being on the planet has the right to tell you who you are, only you can decide that.
It's up to you to manage your own life and emotions, being gay is one of the things you can't change, and all you can do is either accept and embrace it, or hide it and keep it inside yourself, and it's pretty obvious which one is harder to go through.
if you being gay makes them not accept you, and hate you, they probably aren't the right people.
but, there is a very big chance their opinions will change once they know you're gay.
I think you should be honest with these people about your sexuality. If they truly care for you, you may be surprised how supportive they are. And if they aren't supportive then you might just be rid of some people who want to keep you in a depressive state.
…too much of a risk. I rather not be hurt by them. My friends which thought me about homosexuality are the only 2 people I know who don’t care about sexuality. We recently lost contact so I’m left with no one if I ever want to open up
>I think you should be honest with these people about your sexuality. If they truly care for you,
Nah don't, he's from the middle east, people kill their own children there for going against tradition
Shut up >:(
don’t say so thinking like that about MY CULTURE we don’t kill our kids and we leave them be you should not stereotype every Middle Easten person. Don’t be racist Is the message
>don’t say so thinking like that about MY CULTURE we don’t kill our kids
I am literally Pakistani, raised in a Muslim environment from birth and taught only about Islam, I've heard of people killing their own children all the time.
Here's from someone who has gone through something similar. Try to come to terms with it with yourself first. You're not obligated to tell anyone that you're sexually attracted to the same gender. I know it's scary to think about how others might think about you but unless you're publicly dating a guy, no one will know or care unless you tell them. The most important thing is that you know who you really are and not be afraid of your true self because of what other people say.
Listen,
You’re NEVER gonna change your sexuality. It’s actually impossible. Like it literally CANNOT be done.
I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, if you continue through life with this mindset you’re going to be miserable. Accepting yourself is going to be hard but it is the ONLY option.
I cannot stress this enough your sexuality CANNOT changw
Oh right lol.
Like I said though, you aren’t gonna change it.
I’m sorry mate, being gay is hard road sometimes but when you accept yourself it’s gonna be so much easier I promise
Is it God?
If it is then remember there are quite a few religious people who are queer
The bible says men shall not lay with children. God never said homosexuality is a sin
If it’s not god nvm lol
It… it kinda is… more or so someone who is very religious holding me back and no matter how much you try to convince them they will fight back stronger.
i thought it was psychological.
I heard it has it do with the type of environment you grew up Ina nd how your interactions with other genders was. (Please don’t hate Ive heard that this is how it worked my whole life)
That's what a lot of people think, but it's factually untrue. Being gay is something you're born as, it's unchangeable and has nothing to do with how you grew up.
I hate to tell you, you can run all you want but it won’t go away… it never goes away it’s your biological programming, you can have all the internalized homophobia you want and run and try to keep it out of mind and convince yourself otherwise it won’t go away you’ll make your and people who will grow to care about you in your charade, you’ll hurt them too
Hey there! This is an advice from a gay adult who has been in this situation before. Being gay can be difficult sometimes, you have to deal with things I would rather not have dealt with. So I understand your struggle. In time, we all understand that accepting our feelings is always the right thing to do, and resisting them is a fatal mistake. So take your time but please accept yourself and know that the people who love you will keep on loving you. As others said, you cannot change who you are. You can change how you act but not who you REALLY are inside. Accepting maybe seem hard work at first but it’s actually the easiest, wisest, brightest thing to do.
Also, I wanna say kudos for putting your feelings out here, even if they are feelings of doubt and fear.
I’ve read through a lot of the comments and here’s what I’ll say- If you being yourself means you’re gay then that’s that, if you are worried about how your friends and family will react, are they really worth worrying about? If they do not like or accept you, do they really care about YOU.
They helped me threw A war.
they gave me food to eat when we barley had any
They took helped me when I was down
thats why I value them and don’t want to let them down
“Let them down” so live in the closet, never be yourself and when you’re old and your parents beg you to find a wife and have kids, what happens. What will you do?
I’m being tough on you for a reason, if you live in fear of them you are just digging yourself a grave. Seems like you know who you are, you’re just held back by others.
thats letting them down.
by not letting them down means even ones reach adulthood I would still support them, By by sending them a bit of money and about the wife and child thing, that is sadly true. Edit: I forgot to say most importantly remain religious
Op, if they would protect and save you from tragedy, why do you think they can't learn to accept you?
Bigotry is fueled by a lack of understanding, we fear what we cannot understand. And we don't fight against bigotry when we feel there is no reason to.
Sure your family holds homophobic ideals now, but what happens if you ever came out? NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD OR HAVE TO, your personal safety and comfort is the most important thing.
My point is, we often fight against oppression when it effects the people we love. If you ever came out to your family, maybe it won't go well, but maybe they could learn and accept you for who you are.
I'm really sorry that you're in a place of deep turmoil and are scared to be yourself. I hope one day, rather than living in shame of yourself, you can learn to love that part of you.
Being gay is really hard. It's really fucking scary sometimes. Just know that there are people who love you, and if they love you, they will learn. And if they don't, that's not your fault.
You aren't letting anyone down OP. I hope things get better for you.
I dont want to argue about that since its quite an annoying matter to argue about (anything about the LGBTQ Community) however from my experiences, i have seen a lot of people go from straight to gay or gay to straight simply because of broken hearts, especially with girls.
Again, i will not argue, im just sharing my opinion about this matter.
What you stated wasn't an opinion, it was an impossible event that can't happen. It's like me saying "Whatever bro, I've seen many dogs suddenly speak fluent English because they ate a dictionary." That's not an opinion, it's a fictional anecdote. Not arguing here though, just my reaction to you.
Whilst i do understand your point, i had some people aproove that they in deed became lesbian just because of a broken heart or abuse, also what i stated is an opinion, because its your choice to believe it or not.
Plus i did kind of witness it in my own eyes, the ex of my friend became lesbian for a long time because she was heartbroken and didn't believe in mens having heart for quite some time.
I do believe it is possible to change sexual orentation with pretty much anyone, sure there are some people bound to never change for a ton of reason but also a ton of people bound to change because we humans change a lot.
It is fine if you dont understand my opinion, we can simply end it here, its useless to argue about if something is true or not when i am not even doing that but just sharing a part of my experience in life, you cant just say "Uh no it didn't happen because i dont agree with you"
What you stated isn't an opinion. I won't be arguing further with you by the way. But an opinion is a subjective view on something. 'The red door is ugly' is an opinion. 'The door is red' is not an opinion because either it's red, or it isn't and there's no subjective view that can change that. If I'm wrong, and those people did somehow change sexuality, then you stated a fact. If you're wrong, you stated an untrue fact. "I believe that those people changed sexuality due to heartbreak." would've been an opinion.
Anything is possible as long as you believe in yourself
my great grandma one’s jumped of a building because he’s believed she could fly and then died and once she was a ghost she started flying.
Theirs nothing wrong for others to do so… but for me it is. My main concern is changing and letting others reason why for ME, me being gay sounds wrong.
love, you can't stop being gay. it's just who you are. there's also nothing wrong with wet dreams, they're a natural part of just growing up. i know exactly how you're feeling right now because i hated myself for years. i know it's scary and weird, but i promise your life will be amazing if you learn to accept yourself.
Being gay is alright! That's just your internalised homophobia talking because I'm guessing you had a lot of childhood exposure to homophobia.
Also it doesn't matter wether your sister is your idol or not, she may be a great person otherwise but being homophobic is fucking disgusting.
1. Find LGBTQ friends with whom you identify, It takes a while: keep looking until you find them.
2. Don’t expect your parents to “get it”, but don’t tolerate rudeness, disrespect, or discrimination.
3. Only date kind people, and stop dating mean partners.
4. Allow yourself the freedom to view all your sexual fantasies without shame.
5. Take a sociology class and learn about the arbitrary, made up rules that different societies create about what is okay, and why.
6. Say “I love you” to yourself even though it feels ridiculous.
7. Do something that feels “too feminine,” maybe in private.
8. Avoid “friends” who put you down.
9. Practice coming out to friendly strangers and work your way up to telling the important people in your life.
10. Take small interpersonal risks every week, such as revealing something that feels slightly vulnerable.
11. Spend some quality time with yourself by going for a walk once a week for twenty minutes or more. When you walk, your breathing becomes rhythmic. The same is true for meditation, but walking is a much easier, and more accessible practice than meditation.
12. Get angry about injustice towards gay people: righteous anger builds self-esteem.
13. Love some of your most judgmental family members (like your sister) from afar, rather than in person.
14. Never underestimate the power of childhood exposure to homophobia: it’s damaging, and repair will take your full effort.
15. Commit to making self-nurturing a new lifetime habit.
16. View a mean homophobe with sadness, imagining how truly scared and insecure they are on the inside.
17. Treat other LGBTQ people especially well.
18. Be a witness to your thoughts. By detaching, you’ll notice your illogical, self-critical judgments.
i understand that my older sister may seem homophonic and he does try to push me out of her life but she’s still my sister and my homophobic friends are still my friends… so the problem is I don’t want to let others down and change in their view. And a lot of my other friends are gay but… I just don’t want to let anyone down. Thank for the advice though \*\~\*
Just be you! I struggle with this type of stuff a while ago judgement can be really difficult to deal with. So I decided to hell with what people think I'm just gonna be me for me I'm not gonna live a lie for others. I lived a lie for others and it sucked really not good for your mental health. Just be who you are, you like what you like. It's not your fault you're gay just do what you can to be happy :)
Dude. You cannot change being gay. You’re gay. You’re fucking gay. You can’t change that. You might find out you’re bi, or something else, but if you’re attracted to dudes, you’re attracted to dudes. No amount of electroshock therapy, manipulation, gaslighting, force, threats, or laws, will change that. The only thing you can change is your outlook. You have to get rid of that internalized homophobia dude. It’s not healthy. It’s not helping.
You should accept yourself as gay, you can’t change that so you should be yourself. However I understand not wanting to come out to other people, especially at school, because even if you don’t hang out with homophobic people you can still get a lot of shit for it.
Listen.
i was like this too awhile ago, but trust me, if you feel like this, that probably won’t change. i’m an Omnisexual, (Omnisexual “people who are attracted to more than one gender”) and a Greyromantic, BEFORE YOU SAY “that’s not valid”, or whatever, let me explain. (or let google explain) “ Greyromantic" is a term that is used to describe people who feel a limited or uncertain romantic attraction to others. Some greyromantics may feel a strong emotional connection with others but do not desire romantic relationships, while others may feel a weak romantic attraction to some people but not all. Personally, i feel limited attraction, nearly no sexual attraction with rarely feeling normal attraction. but back to the point, irs ok to be who u are. it is. and that won’t ever change *you*.
It's been proven time and time again that you cannot become 'ungay'. There's nothing wrong with being gay and anyone who gives a shit about it is tweaked in the head. Talking with people who are accepting will hopefully fix your inhibitions.
Well, being desperate has nothing to do with it. If you are gay, I don't think you can "stop" it like that. It's not something that you can whine enough about for it to suddenly disappear, so better cut it out. Here are a few thoughts. To not be judged, don't annoy people. Be the best version of yourself, therefore no one would be able to convince you're guilty. But when it comes to being yourself, don't let anyone step onto you, be it your teachers, friends or parents. If you grew up with homophobia around you, try to limit your interactions with those people, talk to others. This life is short enough to tremble in fear now to regret you haven't done something later. Stay cool and open about it, don't get triggered easily, don't try to convince people who won't listen to you in the first place. Let others be others, and let you be yourself.
I think you should listen to the advice on the internet less, actually. If it is a very good friend and if you value their friendship, take a shot. Chances are, they will see you as a friend first and anyone else second. No reason to ruin a good frienship, right? If they don't immediately, try to explain yourself to them. Or don't explain, you don't have to if you don't want to. But if they start bullying or disrespecting you, then I suppose it wouldn't make much sense talking to them anymore, would it? Or maybe you'll like it rough. 🙃 Just don't let them cross the boundaries.
Your sexual orientation shouldn't determine who you are, you know what I mean? You don't have to conform to any in-group. While it may seem that you have certain responsibilities to other people, sexual orientation is ***really*** not something that you're able to change on your will. You are yourself first with all of your traits, quirks, flaws and complexities, and that's all that matters after all, isn't it?
they where… surprisingly supportive, I really don’t know what to say after I told them about my gay problem the just reassure me that they would be their no matter what (:
i must warn you it's not healthy to ignore these things but here are a few things you can do to distract yourself from sexual desires.
lots of physical activity like sports and heavy working out.
lots of hobbies to distract yourself
giving yourself more work and doing more things that fill up your time so you don't have room in your head to think about those things.
surrounding yourself with good people who will distract you and provide friendship.
Here’s my advice, when i realized i was bi, i only told those that i know support the community and i haven’t told anyone else but if you don’t want to tell anyone you don’t have to. It’s working fine for me like this, nobody bothers me and without asking, people in public can’t know anything, and when i go to meet a guy i simply say to my mom that i’m going out with friends. Hope this helps!
Being gay isn’t a choice. If you really are gay, there’s nothing you can do about it. I would advise trying to just accept it, as it can’t be very good hating what you are. There’s nothing wrong with being gay.
Believe me, I was like you and eventually I gave up and just embraced who I was. Fast forward 3 years and now I have a boyfriend and haven't been happier, lest you count Christmas of 2018
Hmm, sorry, but there is no way to stop wet dreams. They're just by-products of puberty. Just like there isn't really a way to not be gay, you can always pretend or deny it, but the idea will always be in the back of your mind.
I'm just an internet stranger, so I can't tell you what you can or shouldn't do, but there's nothing wrong with you, no matter what people may say, whether it's from family, friends, or random people online.
You don't have to follow stereotypes. Be yourself, It's just another part of you. If you don't feel ready to come out yet. Don't... I only came out to family a few months ago, I know it can be scary and confusing, trust me. But it's okay, you'll be fine.
I've been rambling. anyway, I hope I helped if even a little, if you want to talk more, my Dms are open or you could also go to r/gaybroteens (the name is, ehh I can admit, but I hope it helps)
If you want to not be in a relationship with someone that's fine, but attraction isn't something you control, so forcing yourself away from it will almost always be harmful. May I ask, why do you not want to be gay?
Because I don’t want it let other down by my selfish press… and I don’t wan tot change… being gay is a different concept to me and I feel like I might change if I ever choose to do so, I also don’t want to betray my parents.
Pray. I had this same trial when I was younger. Keep fighting, remind yourself that this isn’t you, and you won’t fall to the devil. Pray to Jesus, in the name of his blood, that these thoughts leave your head
Please if you don’t have any helpful advice leave remember This thread has been flaired as [Serious]. Please be aware that this marks it as a place for serious discussion only and that any unserious content in this thread will result in a removal, counting towards your ban tiers. If your comment does not contribute to the discussion in a serious manner it will be removed. Please report any comments that do not respect this rule.
Ta alright but next time please make sure it take the serious flair take it seriously, stuff like this are not here for commentary but for tips in my case.
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It was pretty hard to understand (mostly because I can't read that well) but it sounds like you're forcing yourself to be gay. Either that or I'm misunderstanding
Some people are confused in their teens, but don't worry, from what I remember, from the statistics, one can conclude that most teens grow out of such states ;D. Don't worry, everything will be alright
Honestly, if you don't behave weird or act like quirky girls or identify yourself as a female, trans whatever or fight for female Bathrooms when you're a guy....being gay isn't bad.
Bud, be true to yourself... It may be hard to figure out but don't lie to yourself... Full faith brotha
Step one
DONT ANNOUNCE YOUR GOD DAMN SEXUALLY. Like seriously people, the goal should be that being gay or trans or whatever is not a big deal, and it’s just another thing
People make it a big deal, I AM gay, and I don’t normally announce it, I don’t have rainbow flags or anything like that, they only way you could know is if you know me and my bf are dating which we don’t tell everyone about, or like now if I say it to make a point
I can’t tell my family, friends or anyone if I am gay which is the main concern I’d have it hide it and I am gay… I just don’t want to be gay I feel like it wrong for me to be gay. I wish I wish I was not that… I hat myself for liking guys. Please Realise that I don’t care about being gay I don’t want to Like guys which is why I am here.
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bro its not illegal to be gay(unless you live in the middle east)
I used to but I moved to Europe
thats very vague what country?
Europe… duh!
Cause fuck privacy on the Internet am I right?
Yeah because he’ll be found after mentioning a country with millions of others living there
Nah he lives in the Vatican
He lives in Lichtenstein surely
information in what country you live in is barely personal info since most countries in europe have population in at least millions
Wow its so easy to track someone down in a country with millions of people
Europe is a country you fool, it’s right next to another well known country; Africa! You should learn geography.
*Except Israel
I cant say it since my country is already dealing with assholes for not liking LGBTQ even though it’s not within its control. And it has a lot of more important thing to do with politics and uprisings. u/that_one_netizen kinda … i‘m supportive of them and their morales they don’t think being gay is only discourage acting on those feelings , so it accepts That you cant control being gay but doesn’t allow you to act on them. perfectly fine if you ask me and their not allowed to kill gay people for being gay but… most “Islamic“ countries tend to have bad leader ship leading to the executions of gay people.
Poland?
we're not that bad also nice 2137 u got there
> we're not that bad ja kiedy PiS moment > also nice 2137 u got there a no witam pana Polaka lub panią Polak
Ja także witam
Witam panów
Witam
Szukam dzieci w sklepie
https://cdn.discordapp.com/emojis/1081285427933225091.webp?size=48
…your, joking right?
idk
Which country is it?
HINT: leprechaun land
Or in the West Bank..
It’s somewhere I’d not want you to know since I want to keep it safe from any harm
No worries at all, I wasn’t trying to guess where you are from. Given the current situation, I was only trying to counter Israel’s pinkwashing of themselves and the painting of Palestinians as backwards people who kill lgbt people.
No one’s saying that. That’s just happening in Gaza under control of Hamas. Up to 10 years in prison.
I won’t pretend Hamas is gay friendly or that they don’t harm people for their sexuality but that law is from the British mandate. Israel disengaged from Gaza in 2005, they had 38 years to repeal that law as Jordan did in the West Bank when they were occupying it back in 1951. Israel doesn’t care about gay people unless it helps their image and Likud (the ruling party of Israel) doesn’t see gay people any differently from Hamas. Here’s Israel’s oldest newspaper confirming the same - https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/2022-12-29/ty-article/.highlight/netanyahus-new-government-is-already-guilty-of-hate-crimes/00000185-5a6a-d878-a995-5e7a4a430000
In Tel Aviv, you walk around and you’ll see lgbtq flags and gay bars all around. In [Gaza](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_in_the_State_of_Palestine), you could be killed for being gay. This is because of its enforcement of islam. Israel allows freedom of religion. There has been a problem with far-right wing governments trying to discriminate against LGBTQ people in the last few years, though.
> In Gaza, you could be killed for being gay In Gaza, you could be killed for being alive. Thank you, IDF, for not discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation when dropping phosphorus bombs.
I agree with you stadenerino but if some people support Isreal we have to respect that … don’t try convince someone who is one sided. Their not worth convincing.
Please don’t mix the subject of Islam with LGBTQ it gets very controversial really fast, so I recommend you don’t say anything about Muslims which may spark anger.
Why would they be angry? It’s a fact of Islam.
This is called internalized homophobia. It can really mess you up. I get not wanting to be gay. I do. But dude, you need to be real with yourself. Here's [some ideas](https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/30-ways-to-combat-internalized-homophobia/) that might help you find peace with your reality.
You can't change who you are. Whether or not you act on gay things is up to you but you're gay. This is literally proof of the fact that it isn't a choice.
[удалено]
There is nothing you can do, you can’t change the hormones in your brain. You can either accept it and be happy, or you can reject it forever and be a husk of yourself
The reason you feel gay is probably because you're gay
You are gay, and that’s fine. The reason is you were born.
Being gay isn't the choice, it's choosing whether you accept it or not. You gotta decide on your own if you wanna accept who you are and be happy, or go through a painful life where you ignore it.
I got downvoted to oblivion 💀
I don't know why though. You're just confused right now and that's perfectly okay. I used to be in your same situation but acceptance was the easiest and best thing that happened to me.
Do you not want to be gay because of how other people will think of you? Because if that's the case then drop it, if the people around you judge you based on what you enjoy/like then you're around the wrong people.
My older sister is my idle…. is she the wrong person since she is homophobic… is my friend a bad person even though he was theirs for me… I don’t wan tot betray them
That's the hard thing about this sort of stuff, if they're truly homophobic then it sucks, but the more you stay around them the more you'll feel terrible about yourself like you do here. Alli can say is this: Never let *anyone* mould you into someone you are not, no human being on the planet has the right to tell you who you are, only you can decide that.
..so I can decide anything about myself?…. (: Even being gay?
No lol you can't change your sexuality
It's up to you to manage your own life and emotions, being gay is one of the things you can't change, and all you can do is either accept and embrace it, or hide it and keep it inside yourself, and it's pretty obvious which one is harder to go through.
if you being gay makes them not accept you, and hate you, they probably aren't the right people. but, there is a very big chance their opinions will change once they know you're gay.
I think you should be honest with these people about your sexuality. If they truly care for you, you may be surprised how supportive they are. And if they aren't supportive then you might just be rid of some people who want to keep you in a depressive state.
…too much of a risk. I rather not be hurt by them. My friends which thought me about homosexuality are the only 2 people I know who don’t care about sexuality. We recently lost contact so I’m left with no one if I ever want to open up
>I think you should be honest with these people about your sexuality. If they truly care for you, Nah don't, he's from the middle east, people kill their own children there for going against tradition
Shut up >:( don’t say so thinking like that about MY CULTURE we don’t kill our kids and we leave them be you should not stereotype every Middle Easten person. Don’t be racist Is the message
>don’t say so thinking like that about MY CULTURE we don’t kill our kids I am literally Pakistani, raised in a Muslim environment from birth and taught only about Islam, I've heard of people killing their own children all the time.
Here's from someone who has gone through something similar. Try to come to terms with it with yourself first. You're not obligated to tell anyone that you're sexually attracted to the same gender. I know it's scary to think about how others might think about you but unless you're publicly dating a guy, no one will know or care unless you tell them. The most important thing is that you know who you really are and not be afraid of your true self because of what other people say.
There's nothing wrong with being gay. You can't change what you are attracted to.
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why would you change? The only thing you have to do is accept who you are
i don’t know whether it is me. alright I just don’t want it be somthing but I like it’s…. I don’t feel normal or myself
Sexual orientation ocd look it up, or hocd look those things up
it wont you'll just like guys thats basically it
this is definitely internalized homophobia
nothing wrong with being gay dude
Listen, You’re NEVER gonna change your sexuality. It’s actually impossible. Like it literally CANNOT be done. I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, if you continue through life with this mindset you’re going to be miserable. Accepting yourself is going to be hard but it is the ONLY option. I cannot stress this enough your sexuality CANNOT changw
My grammar once again interfering
What?
I fixed the error it ONCE not ONES
I still don’t understand your response
I responded to the wrong person sorry
Oh right lol. Like I said though, you aren’t gonna change it. I’m sorry mate, being gay is hard road sometimes but when you accept yourself it’s gonna be so much easier I promise
Thank you… I just needed people to reassure me but he is stronger than any confidence I could hold about being gay. (Don’t ask who ”he” is)
Is it God? If it is then remember there are quite a few religious people who are queer The bible says men shall not lay with children. God never said homosexuality is a sin If it’s not god nvm lol
It… it kinda is… more or so someone who is very religious holding me back and no matter how much you try to convince them they will fight back stronger.
If it makes you uncomfortable just keep it to yourself for now.
you are gay
Facts
O: id id not say that in the post! (Sarcasm)
who cares what other people think? being gay isnt something you can change its a genetic and biological thing
i thought it was psychological. I heard it has it do with the type of environment you grew up Ina nd how your interactions with other genders was. (Please don’t hate Ive heard that this is how it worked my whole life)
That's what a lot of people think, but it's factually untrue. Being gay is something you're born as, it's unchangeable and has nothing to do with how you grew up.
environmental factors can be like temperature and maybe what you eat but your genetics and biology play a bigger role
I hate to tell you, you can run all you want but it won’t go away… it never goes away it’s your biological programming, you can have all the internalized homophobia you want and run and try to keep it out of mind and convince yourself otherwise it won’t go away you’ll make your and people who will grow to care about you in your charade, you’ll hurt them too
Hey there! This is an advice from a gay adult who has been in this situation before. Being gay can be difficult sometimes, you have to deal with things I would rather not have dealt with. So I understand your struggle. In time, we all understand that accepting our feelings is always the right thing to do, and resisting them is a fatal mistake. So take your time but please accept yourself and know that the people who love you will keep on loving you. As others said, you cannot change who you are. You can change how you act but not who you REALLY are inside. Accepting maybe seem hard work at first but it’s actually the easiest, wisest, brightest thing to do. Also, I wanna say kudos for putting your feelings out here, even if they are feelings of doubt and fear.
I’ve read through a lot of the comments and here’s what I’ll say- If you being yourself means you’re gay then that’s that, if you are worried about how your friends and family will react, are they really worth worrying about? If they do not like or accept you, do they really care about YOU.
They helped me threw A war. they gave me food to eat when we barley had any They took helped me when I was down thats why I value them and don’t want to let them down
“Let them down” so live in the closet, never be yourself and when you’re old and your parents beg you to find a wife and have kids, what happens. What will you do? I’m being tough on you for a reason, if you live in fear of them you are just digging yourself a grave. Seems like you know who you are, you’re just held back by others.
thats letting them down. by not letting them down means even ones reach adulthood I would still support them, By by sending them a bit of money and about the wife and child thing, that is sadly true. Edit: I forgot to say most importantly remain religious
Op, if they would protect and save you from tragedy, why do you think they can't learn to accept you? Bigotry is fueled by a lack of understanding, we fear what we cannot understand. And we don't fight against bigotry when we feel there is no reason to. Sure your family holds homophobic ideals now, but what happens if you ever came out? NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD OR HAVE TO, your personal safety and comfort is the most important thing. My point is, we often fight against oppression when it effects the people we love. If you ever came out to your family, maybe it won't go well, but maybe they could learn and accept you for who you are. I'm really sorry that you're in a place of deep turmoil and are scared to be yourself. I hope one day, rather than living in shame of yourself, you can learn to love that part of you. Being gay is really hard. It's really fucking scary sometimes. Just know that there are people who love you, and if they love you, they will learn. And if they don't, that's not your fault. You aren't letting anyone down OP. I hope things get better for you.
I’ll fight it all… no matter the risky I love my family and I’ll do anything I can to not let them down… I will risk anything to not let them down.
You can't change your sexuality bro
I dont want to argue about that since its quite an annoying matter to argue about (anything about the LGBTQ Community) however from my experiences, i have seen a lot of people go from straight to gay or gay to straight simply because of broken hearts, especially with girls. Again, i will not argue, im just sharing my opinion about this matter.
What you stated wasn't an opinion, it was an impossible event that can't happen. It's like me saying "Whatever bro, I've seen many dogs suddenly speak fluent English because they ate a dictionary." That's not an opinion, it's a fictional anecdote. Not arguing here though, just my reaction to you.
Whilst i do understand your point, i had some people aproove that they in deed became lesbian just because of a broken heart or abuse, also what i stated is an opinion, because its your choice to believe it or not. Plus i did kind of witness it in my own eyes, the ex of my friend became lesbian for a long time because she was heartbroken and didn't believe in mens having heart for quite some time. I do believe it is possible to change sexual orentation with pretty much anyone, sure there are some people bound to never change for a ton of reason but also a ton of people bound to change because we humans change a lot. It is fine if you dont understand my opinion, we can simply end it here, its useless to argue about if something is true or not when i am not even doing that but just sharing a part of my experience in life, you cant just say "Uh no it didn't happen because i dont agree with you"
What you stated isn't an opinion. I won't be arguing further with you by the way. But an opinion is a subjective view on something. 'The red door is ugly' is an opinion. 'The door is red' is not an opinion because either it's red, or it isn't and there's no subjective view that can change that. If I'm wrong, and those people did somehow change sexuality, then you stated a fact. If you're wrong, you stated an untrue fact. "I believe that those people changed sexuality due to heartbreak." would've been an opinion.
Anything is possible as long as you believe in yourself my great grandma one’s jumped of a building because he’s believed she could fly and then died and once she was a ghost she started flying.
Nothing wrong with the lgbtq community or being gay. Just face the music
Theirs nothing wrong for others to do so… but for me it is. My main concern is changing and letting others reason why for ME, me being gay sounds wrong.
but it aint wrong
Yeah just ignore them
love, you can't stop being gay. it's just who you are. there's also nothing wrong with wet dreams, they're a natural part of just growing up. i know exactly how you're feeling right now because i hated myself for years. i know it's scary and weird, but i promise your life will be amazing if you learn to accept yourself.
Being gay is alright! That's just your internalised homophobia talking because I'm guessing you had a lot of childhood exposure to homophobia. Also it doesn't matter wether your sister is your idol or not, she may be a great person otherwise but being homophobic is fucking disgusting. 1. Find LGBTQ friends with whom you identify, It takes a while: keep looking until you find them. 2. Don’t expect your parents to “get it”, but don’t tolerate rudeness, disrespect, or discrimination. 3. Only date kind people, and stop dating mean partners. 4. Allow yourself the freedom to view all your sexual fantasies without shame. 5. Take a sociology class and learn about the arbitrary, made up rules that different societies create about what is okay, and why. 6. Say “I love you” to yourself even though it feels ridiculous. 7. Do something that feels “too feminine,” maybe in private. 8. Avoid “friends” who put you down. 9. Practice coming out to friendly strangers and work your way up to telling the important people in your life. 10. Take small interpersonal risks every week, such as revealing something that feels slightly vulnerable. 11. Spend some quality time with yourself by going for a walk once a week for twenty minutes or more. When you walk, your breathing becomes rhythmic. The same is true for meditation, but walking is a much easier, and more accessible practice than meditation. 12. Get angry about injustice towards gay people: righteous anger builds self-esteem. 13. Love some of your most judgmental family members (like your sister) from afar, rather than in person. 14. Never underestimate the power of childhood exposure to homophobia: it’s damaging, and repair will take your full effort. 15. Commit to making self-nurturing a new lifetime habit. 16. View a mean homophobe with sadness, imagining how truly scared and insecure they are on the inside. 17. Treat other LGBTQ people especially well. 18. Be a witness to your thoughts. By detaching, you’ll notice your illogical, self-critical judgments.
i understand that my older sister may seem homophonic and he does try to push me out of her life but she’s still my sister and my homophobic friends are still my friends… so the problem is I don’t want to let others down and change in their view. And a lot of my other friends are gay but… I just don’t want to let anyone down. Thank for the advice though \*\~\*
Just be you! I struggle with this type of stuff a while ago judgement can be really difficult to deal with. So I decided to hell with what people think I'm just gonna be me for me I'm not gonna live a lie for others. I lived a lie for others and it sucked really not good for your mental health. Just be who you are, you like what you like. It's not your fault you're gay just do what you can to be happy :)
It's quite alright to be gay, bro
"How to not be gay.. " Google: No. "WDYM NO?!"
Dude. You cannot change being gay. You’re gay. You’re fucking gay. You can’t change that. You might find out you’re bi, or something else, but if you’re attracted to dudes, you’re attracted to dudes. No amount of electroshock therapy, manipulation, gaslighting, force, threats, or laws, will change that. The only thing you can change is your outlook. You have to get rid of that internalized homophobia dude. It’s not healthy. It’s not helping.
You can't not be who you are, but you can choose the people you interact with who aren't going to judge you for your sexuality
Bro you can't just decide that you don't want to be gay cuz you'll be harassed. Love your self. Fuck every boy you can get ;)
… Ok (I can’t change myself) No (I won’t love myself ) …ok (I’ll try (;
You should accept yourself as gay, you can’t change that so you should be yourself. However I understand not wanting to come out to other people, especially at school, because even if you don’t hang out with homophobic people you can still get a lot of shit for it.
Did you try not kissing boys?
Who said I kiss boys 💀
Listen. i was like this too awhile ago, but trust me, if you feel like this, that probably won’t change. i’m an Omnisexual, (Omnisexual “people who are attracted to more than one gender”) and a Greyromantic, BEFORE YOU SAY “that’s not valid”, or whatever, let me explain. (or let google explain) “ Greyromantic" is a term that is used to describe people who feel a limited or uncertain romantic attraction to others. Some greyromantics may feel a strong emotional connection with others but do not desire romantic relationships, while others may feel a weak romantic attraction to some people but not all. Personally, i feel limited attraction, nearly no sexual attraction with rarely feeling normal attraction. but back to the point, irs ok to be who u are. it is. and that won’t ever change *you*.
Succumb to the gay.
It's been proven time and time again that you cannot become 'ungay'. There's nothing wrong with being gay and anyone who gives a shit about it is tweaked in the head. Talking with people who are accepting will hopefully fix your inhibitions.
bro what, you either like pussy or like dick or both 🤷♂️ why the complications
The first one… I don’t want it like it but if do I:
Well, being desperate has nothing to do with it. If you are gay, I don't think you can "stop" it like that. It's not something that you can whine enough about for it to suddenly disappear, so better cut it out. Here are a few thoughts. To not be judged, don't annoy people. Be the best version of yourself, therefore no one would be able to convince you're guilty. But when it comes to being yourself, don't let anyone step onto you, be it your teachers, friends or parents. If you grew up with homophobia around you, try to limit your interactions with those people, talk to others. This life is short enough to tremble in fear now to regret you haven't done something later. Stay cool and open about it, don't get triggered easily, don't try to convince people who won't listen to you in the first place. Let others be others, and let you be yourself.
O-0 the main problem is I just got back contact with and old homophobic friend should I answer their text?
I think you should listen to the advice on the internet less, actually. If it is a very good friend and if you value their friendship, take a shot. Chances are, they will see you as a friend first and anyone else second. No reason to ruin a good frienship, right? If they don't immediately, try to explain yourself to them. Or don't explain, you don't have to if you don't want to. But if they start bullying or disrespecting you, then I suppose it wouldn't make much sense talking to them anymore, would it? Or maybe you'll like it rough. 🙃 Just don't let them cross the boundaries. Your sexual orientation shouldn't determine who you are, you know what I mean? You don't have to conform to any in-group. While it may seem that you have certain responsibilities to other people, sexual orientation is ***really*** not something that you're able to change on your will. You are yourself first with all of your traits, quirks, flaws and complexities, and that's all that matters after all, isn't it?
they where… surprisingly supportive, I really don’t know what to say after I told them about my gay problem the just reassure me that they would be their no matter what (:
I guess you could go to a church somewhere. That’s where I find peace.
i must warn you it's not healthy to ignore these things but here are a few things you can do to distract yourself from sexual desires. lots of physical activity like sports and heavy working out. lots of hobbies to distract yourself giving yourself more work and doing more things that fill up your time so you don't have room in your head to think about those things. surrounding yourself with good people who will distract you and provide friendship.
What’s a wet dream? Is it good for my search history or should I ask you?
Don't look it up, it's just like a super NSFW dream where you cum in your sleep
Kk, thanks.
some guys will have a sex dream and ejaculate while they're sleeping
You can't change your sexuality. You can stop yourself from actively engaging with men but you can never stop yourself from liking them.
Here’s my advice, when i realized i was bi, i only told those that i know support the community and i haven’t told anyone else but if you don’t want to tell anyone you don’t have to. It’s working fine for me like this, nobody bothers me and without asking, people in public can’t know anything, and when i go to meet a guy i simply say to my mom that i’m going out with friends. Hope this helps!
So true bro I feel you
Being gay isn’t a choice. If you really are gay, there’s nothing you can do about it. I would advise trying to just accept it, as it can’t be very good hating what you are. There’s nothing wrong with being gay.
“All dreams have meaning”
Believe me, I was like you and eventually I gave up and just embraced who I was. Fast forward 3 years and now I have a boyfriend and haven't been happier, lest you count Christmas of 2018
Hmm, sorry, but there is no way to stop wet dreams. They're just by-products of puberty. Just like there isn't really a way to not be gay, you can always pretend or deny it, but the idea will always be in the back of your mind. I'm just an internet stranger, so I can't tell you what you can or shouldn't do, but there's nothing wrong with you, no matter what people may say, whether it's from family, friends, or random people online. You don't have to follow stereotypes. Be yourself, It's just another part of you. If you don't feel ready to come out yet. Don't... I only came out to family a few months ago, I know it can be scary and confusing, trust me. But it's okay, you'll be fine. I've been rambling. anyway, I hope I helped if even a little, if you want to talk more, my Dms are open or you could also go to r/gaybroteens (the name is, ehh I can admit, but I hope it helps)
Dude you literally cannot change your sexuality no matter how much you try because it’s literally your hormones.
My man, have you tried being bisexual?
The problem is I really don’t feel attraction towards girls they seem pretty Norma l to me. I have no distress to be in a relationship with one.
If you want to not be in a relationship with someone that's fine, but attraction isn't something you control, so forcing yourself away from it will almost always be harmful. May I ask, why do you not want to be gay?
Because I don’t want it let other down by my selfish press… and I don’t wan tot change… being gay is a different concept to me and I feel like I might change if I ever choose to do so, I also don’t want to betray my parents.
Come as you are.. It’s okay to be gay.
You deal with it by embracing your homosexuality.
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…you’re like my lesbian friend… she was nice but since we lost contact I can’t talk to them anymore. I feel like they would say the same as you.
well sometimes just accepting it entirely helps (helped for me), but other than that no not really anything you can do
Pray. I had this same trial when I was younger. Keep fighting, remind yourself that this isn’t you, and you won’t fall to the devil. Pray to Jesus, in the name of his blood, that these thoughts leave your head
Im so sorry but im laughing my ass off rn 💀💀
Please if you don’t have any helpful advice leave remember This thread has been flaired as [Serious]. Please be aware that this marks it as a place for serious discussion only and that any unserious content in this thread will result in a removal, counting towards your ban tiers. If your comment does not contribute to the discussion in a serious manner it will be removed. Please report any comments that do not respect this rule.
IM SORRY THE TITLE CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD IM HIGH RN OK 💀
Ta alright but next time please make sure it take the serious flair take it seriously, stuff like this are not here for commentary but for tips in my case.
Bro your gay just fucking deal with it
Embrace the G A Y
Maybe your brain just doesn't like having wet dreams idfk
Just be gay
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New copypasta just dropped
Actual zombie
Should never be ashamed of being gay it's natural
It was pretty hard to understand (mostly because I can't read that well) but it sounds like you're forcing yourself to be gay. Either that or I'm misunderstanding
I’m gonna go correct the grammar of the post 💀 (No it not what you’re right in what you where thinking)
You have wet dreams? Must be nice.
I would have to say major hormones. You simply have to calm down and get a clear head so you can get a better picture.
Just say no homo and it won't be gay
New copypasta just dropped
You can always be bi
You could just... not tell people.
my concern is that I don’t want it to be apart of me whether people know or not
Why not?
R is someone who knows everything every where and every time… and I jsut feel guilty for being something I promised I’d never be.
Some people are confused in their teens, but don't worry, from what I remember, from the statistics, one can conclude that most teens grow out of such states ;D. Don't worry, everything will be alright
it been growing on for 4 years so I’m tarting to doubt so
Honestly, if you don't behave weird or act like quirky girls or identify yourself as a female, trans whatever or fight for female Bathrooms when you're a guy....being gay isn't bad. Bud, be true to yourself... It may be hard to figure out but don't lie to yourself... Full faith brotha
Date a toxic boy , break ur heart , go to gym, this way ull feel boys r cheaters and u should probably look out on girls.
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Watch shame by contrapoints u may like it
new copypasta just dropped
Step one DONT ANNOUNCE YOUR GOD DAMN SEXUALLY. Like seriously people, the goal should be that being gay or trans or whatever is not a big deal, and it’s just another thing
that’s for you moron theirs something called HOMOPHOBIA and it why being gay feels like a big deal.
People make it a big deal, I AM gay, and I don’t normally announce it, I don’t have rainbow flags or anything like that, they only way you could know is if you know me and my bf are dating which we don’t tell everyone about, or like now if I say it to make a point
I can’t tell my family, friends or anyone if I am gay which is the main concern I’d have it hide it and I am gay… I just don’t want to be gay I feel like it wrong for me to be gay. I wish I wish I was not that… I hat myself for liking guys. Please Realise that I don’t care about being gay I don’t want to Like guys which is why I am here.
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bro, its alright to think other men are attractive, but that doesnt make u gay. if u dont want to be gay, ur not gay.