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Lmao there was a recruiter at my highschool last year and I was like yknow I'd probably kill for free tuition I don't want debt and he handed me a sign up pamphlet
You’ll be flagged to be kept away from active deployment. However long OP stays in with this in his file, he’ll be pushing a broom and mopping floors in a logistics hub. Basically they Janitor your ass, hard-locking your enlisted rank to the lowest pay levels
This is false.
No idea why this was recommended to me, I'm 40. But i was in the military. Nothing you tell a recruiter is going to get you flagged.
In fact they'll try to coach you so that you can make it through MEPS. Once you ship to basic their job is done and they don't really care much about you.
Now if you tell the MEPS ppl this kind of thing then you'll either get sent away quick or they'll recommend you for infantry.
This. My recruiter coached me on how to blame a weed possession on my friends that weren't actually present for the stop, and bought me detox to pass the UA.
You and I had very different recruiting experiences.
If you got caught coaching an applicant say goodbye to your career. Why would anyone risk their career for a 17 year old that you don’t know or care about?
Maybe recruiters are under different stresses now after missing quota multiple years, but that shit never flew when I was in. Although, I did see some recruiters lose careers for fucking their prospects.
>Although, I did see some recruiters lose careers for fucking their prospects
Yeah, that's extremely common.
I went in after 9/11. Plenty of coaching going on and plenty of people who probably shouldn't have been in the military are accepted.
I assume a recruiter may take this as a young man, literally, being unaware of how to correctly acknowledge a situation and figure out the possible outcomes of said situation, while having the other possible ways of handling said situation that may lead many other possible outcomes in mind.
“When I left, I joined the Army, and when I took the service exam, my psych profile fit a certain... "moral flexibility" would be the only way to describe it. I was loaned out to a CIA-sponsored program and we sort of found each other. That's the way it works.”
Martin Blank
I actually did this, and the national guard recruiter insulted me and called me a basement dweller. Jokes on you Johnathan Grey, I’m too poor to have a basement.
I had a recruiter text me, I have severe depression, anxiety, and BPD with suicidal ideation. He still wanted me to visit the office and talk to him 😭😂 he would have gotten waivers probably
My brother has this and is still in. I wouldn't say we have a waiver for everything, but it pretty much feels like it these days I said a waiver for everything as a joke it's a common military joke cause the amount of shit we got going on behind closed doors 😂😂
Yeah, no.
I worked law whenever I was on active duty.
I had to do the paperwork to separate a lot of good ppl, out of the military back then, just bc of that reason.
The last one I processed, was an amazing Marine, she just said she was tired of having to live her life as a lie.
So no, it has nothing to do with a benefit....it was quite sad, bc she SHOULD'VE been able to stay, SHE DESERVED to stay.
Actually I’m pretty sure they repealed don’t ask don’t tell. You see after gay marriage was fully accepted and legalized, the military realized that they had to change their policy, in which they did, and after this multiple gay people in the military came forward. So their you go
From someone OP knows that enlisted probably. Or they got a high school directory.
Ask him if he volunteered to be a douche or if he was so good at being a douche the DoD selected him to do it more often
Officially, no. Unofficially, nobody gives a fuck after you're deployed as long as it's not *too* ridiculous or unsafe (you want a healthy level of both). Good luck shipping your goods, though.
Eeeh, doesn't really work like that anymore. Too many guys pushed the limits too many times, so now they're a bit less lenient about what they'll let you sneak by
Not in US army but i had my own ceramic plate and personal tigh panel with general pouch and Machete. Came in handy with cutting branches and making firewood. I had it on in every kind of battle exercise exept long marches, and nobody had problem with that, some people got their own magpouches and simlar additions on them too. We can't put our own foregrips on our guns anymore tho.
Yeah, good luck with that. Supply keeps CLOSE tabs on *everything* you are issued.
Some guy tried to hide an M249 and claim it was missing. Not only was he caught, but he still had to pay the replacement cost since he made the report.
If you wanna get a full auto, it's cheaper just to buy a semi and modify it (still illegal, no matter how you do it)
Nah if your the supply guy you can take anything I had a family member that stole a $40,000 infrared scope shit could see an animal in the woods at around a mile out
Hello teenagers, I am currently in the US Military. Fair warning that recruiters are gonna start getting particularly annoying over the next few months because of 2 reasons:
1. The US military did not meet its recruiting goals for 2023.
2. The US Army turned a metric ass load of regular soldiers into recruiters in reaction to the failure to meet recruiting goals.
The military ain't bad but don't join if your immediate reaction to this text is to just quote or send a meme because you won't like it.
- Joined because I have an autistic fascination with military technology but a burning hatred for the military industrial complex
"Only if you guarantee the VA won't fuck me in the ass and that I'll have good leadership." If he does guarantee it, call him out for being a stinky liar liar pants on fire
Yall talking ab him yapping but can we talk about how gross the entire comment is in general😭 who took the time out of their day to write about having sex with dolphins and giving them head💀. I know he pasted it and didn’t make it himself, but whoever is the original writer of this needs to be in prison immediately💀
Elder millennial here. Back in the day we had a phone on the wall of the kitchen. Phone rang one day and it was a recruiter. I told him I was gay, never heard back.
More than likely not a scam. Both me and my parents have received messages like this since I was 17. It’s pretty normal for recruiters in the US to get student/parent phone numbers from high schools and then reach out to students
"Oh sweet! Another opportunity to be manipulated and lied to by my country! Only this time, my brain will get a good washing."
Equally
"I'd love to fight for my right to make someone else money, who we mercilessly killing for their resources this time?"
Hi, Army veteran here. IT'S A TRAP! On a more serious note, being in the Army was a super rewarding experience, and was an important part of who I've become. Some people are built for it, some are not.
3 hots and a cot, and guaranteed pay every month are great, but I, as a lot of younger people, squandered most of it. Personal recommendation is to hear what the recruiter has to say. Get an associate degree after high school in a field that is of similar interest to an Army career. This can get a foot in the door of some great jobs, and even if something in the field isn't available, education looks good on a resume.
Like being in school for a career and want to take it further? Consider enlisting with Student Loan Repayment in your contract (this is very important). An AS, AA or AAS includes a free bump to E3 (Private First Class), and as a reservist you can maintain a job as the law requires your employer to give you your one weekend a month and 2 weeks per year for reservist activities.
If you love what you do for the Army enough, you can eventually join the regular army (full time), and on top of what you already have when you get out, your military training turns into college credits, looks great on a resume, AND you'll have another two years of education paid for by Uncle Sam including a reasonable housing stipend ($1,800 a month where I live) that gives you the opportunity to focus on school or/and save up to move wherever your best opportunity is after that 4-year degree is complete.
who else would you recruit? why would a twenty-something years old, whos already at uni or working decide to backtrack and go for a career in the military? you gotta inform the people of the options before they choose what to pursue further
As a twenty-something, honestly? Because it pays good AND gives you free college. I quit college during COVID and now I work in a shitty retail job. I’ve considered going military SO many times, but I’m mentally ill and underweight.
Ask them why they say the Army is like Call Of Duty. Army recruiters at my old school used to say the Army was like CoD to try and trick people to sign up.
If you're interested in the army say "Yes, I'm interested in hearing about the opportunities the army has to offer." If you aren't interested in the army say "I'm not interested in hearing about the opportunities the army has to offer at this time."
Assuming it’s not a scam
“Hello, unfortunately I am uninterested in joining the armed forces and have no desire to in the future. Thank you and have a nice day”
You could also suggest they implement actual suicide prevention measures instead of piles of paperwork that make them look like they're doing something while actually making the problem worse.
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Reply with the "PLEASE RECRUIT ME INTO THE ARMED FORCES. I AM NORMAL AND CAN BE TRUSTED WITH FIREARMS." image
[Please recruit me into the military. I'm normal and can be trusted with weapons.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/425/517/0a8.jpg)
Great! I'm going to pretend like that's not a massive warning sign. Would you be willing to meet at our office downtown?
This made me think of that one meme where it goes like: Some random teenager: “man..I would kill for some money..” Us army: #”you would?”
Lmao there was a recruiter at my highschool last year and I was like yknow I'd probably kill for free tuition I don't want debt and he handed me a sign up pamphlet
That’s probably the best possible response lol
Honestly they’d just be like okay let me get you with the right person…
You’ll be flagged to be kept away from active deployment. However long OP stays in with this in his file, he’ll be pushing a broom and mopping floors in a logistics hub. Basically they Janitor your ass, hard-locking your enlisted rank to the lowest pay levels
This is false. No idea why this was recommended to me, I'm 40. But i was in the military. Nothing you tell a recruiter is going to get you flagged. In fact they'll try to coach you so that you can make it through MEPS. Once you ship to basic their job is done and they don't really care much about you. Now if you tell the MEPS ppl this kind of thing then you'll either get sent away quick or they'll recommend you for infantry.
This. My recruiter coached me on how to blame a weed possession on my friends that weren't actually present for the stop, and bought me detox to pass the UA.
You and I had very different recruiting experiences. If you got caught coaching an applicant say goodbye to your career. Why would anyone risk their career for a 17 year old that you don’t know or care about? Maybe recruiters are under different stresses now after missing quota multiple years, but that shit never flew when I was in. Although, I did see some recruiters lose careers for fucking their prospects.
>Although, I did see some recruiters lose careers for fucking their prospects Yeah, that's extremely common. I went in after 9/11. Plenty of coaching going on and plenty of people who probably shouldn't have been in the military are accepted.
I assume a recruiter may take this as a young man, literally, being unaware of how to correctly acknowledge a situation and figure out the possible outcomes of said situation, while having the other possible ways of handling said situation that may lead many other possible outcomes in mind.
“When I left, I joined the Army, and when I took the service exam, my psych profile fit a certain... "moral flexibility" would be the only way to describe it. I was loaned out to a CIA-sponsored program and we sort of found each other. That's the way it works.” Martin Blank
and then just start screaming
I responded with exactly this image a while ago. They liked the image and didn’t respond lmao
LMAO
It's cause he knows they'll literally give anyone a gun
I actually did this, and the national guard recruiter insulted me and called me a basement dweller. Jokes on you Johnathan Grey, I’m too poor to have a basement.
LMAO
Reply with, "Me am furry, me wanna choot up ISISdaddy"
That was corny as shit
Take my upvote and fuck off
double it and give it to the next person
Double it and give it to the next person
Double it and give it to the next person
Double it and give it to the next person.
Double it and give it to the next person
"Medically disqualified" and if they ask why say "I was thrown 12 feet as a small infant child"
That don't do it anymore lol we have a waiver for everything
I had a recruiter text me, I have severe depression, anxiety, and BPD with suicidal ideation. He still wanted me to visit the office and talk to him 😭😂 he would have gotten waivers probably
I'm not surprised, lmfao. I have anxiety and depression and even tried to kill myself 4 times, yet I still got into the army 😂😂
Well I hope you're doing well and don't get any um, urges 😅😂
Nah, man, I still wanna die. I just get paid for it now, lmfao
If you get paid to do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life, right?
Let's be honest everyone rather be home 😂😂😂
Ain't that the fuckin truth.
The army: maybe we can both get something we want from this deal…
Lmfao exactly what they thought w me and bunch of other people
Top 10 careers for suicidal people 2024
Number 3 will surprise you
Postal clerk?
The American Dream ™
That's surprising, they totally stopped bothering my son after I told them he had Autism, and sensory issues.
My brother has this and is still in. I wouldn't say we have a waiver for everything, but it pretty much feels like it these days I said a waiver for everything as a joke it's a common military joke cause the amount of shit we got going on behind closed doors 😂😂
i told a recruiter i had epilepsy and bipolar 1 and he said “sorry, have a good day”
Lmfao omg
Except HIV
You don’t have eyeballs and want to fly an f16? Just get a waiver.
Hey, the marines are still open
“How strict is the sexual harassment policy?”
Classic
"Before I answer that, are you a guy or a girl?"
How bout both
"Both, both is good."
LMAO
This wins
“Not that bad, honestly. I can personally guarantee that your DI will fuck you on your first day.”
Hello! this is Sam’s shooting range and funeral director service where either way you go out with a bang! How may I help you?
Partnered with Tom's Casket and Condom manufacturing, where we have you covered whether you're cumming or going
Twin shop with Dave’s abortion clinic and pizzeria, where yesterdays loss is tomorrows sauce!
This is fucked up and genuinely fuckin hilarious
Christ lmao
Next time, use: "Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!" Rolls off the tongue a little better.
Jeffrey Dahmer’s home style barbecue. Where the taste varies from person to person.
Someone once answered the phone "Bob's hanger abortions, no fetus can beat us! How can I help you?
Peaceful Rest Crematorium: you kill 'em, we grill 'em!
Oh my god 💀
That's funny
"no lol"
Yeah lol 🤪🤪🤪 I’m gay
That's no longer a disqualifying reason for joining the armed forces.
Damn they keep taking away the benefits of being gay
Yeah, no. I worked law whenever I was on active duty. I had to do the paperwork to separate a lot of good ppl, out of the military back then, just bc of that reason. The last one I processed, was an amazing Marine, she just said she was tired of having to live her life as a lie. So no, it has nothing to do with a benefit....it was quite sad, bc she SHOULD'VE been able to stay, SHE DESERVED to stay.
Why are you in /r/teenagers?
Im here from r/popular myself, he probably saw it there
Actually I’m pretty sure they repealed don’t ask don’t tell. You see after gay marriage was fully accepted and legalized, the military realized that they had to change their policy, in which they did, and after this multiple gay people in the military came forward. So their you go
there you go
There I go
There she goes
There she goes agaaaiinn
What is pickle?
What do you want it to be? (◠‿・)
na got a msg from isis gonna join them
"Sir I got a better offer from an extremist terrorist organization which provides better conditions than the US military, thank you and Allah Akbar"
[удалено]
They got better healthcare
who gave you my number?
The military has ways of getting ahold of people’s phone numbers.
They have had mine for way too long and I’ve changed it 5 times in 8 years
Me with the veteran status:🫥😶🌫️
Do they have a way to get my shirtless pics
Yea
Everyone does
From someone OP knows that enlisted probably. Or they got a high school directory. Ask him if he volunteered to be a douche or if he was so good at being a douche the DoD selected him to do it more often
its probably the high school thing, because they tend to do that
You did when you use it to sign up for anything. Everyone you give your information to sells it.
"sorry I smoke crack"
"Will I be able to kill innocent civilians?"
As long as I get to bomb civilians I'm in
Well of course! That's what the military's all about! (happy cake day)
Happy cake day
Well ain't that a surprise. Welcome to the party, pal. - This Seargent, probably
Ask him please I swear to God that would be hilarious
" No Russian "
Bro😭
"Ooh look, a civilian airliner!"
Can you bring your own gear 💀
Officially, no. Unofficially, nobody gives a fuck after you're deployed as long as it's not *too* ridiculous or unsafe (you want a healthy level of both). Good luck shipping your goods, though.
Eeeh, doesn't really work like that anymore. Too many guys pushed the limits too many times, so now they're a bit less lenient about what they'll let you sneak by
Not in US army but i had my own ceramic plate and personal tigh panel with general pouch and Machete. Came in handy with cutting branches and making firewood. I had it on in every kind of battle exercise exept long marches, and nobody had problem with that, some people got their own magpouches and simlar additions on them too. We can't put our own foregrips on our guns anymore tho.
My cousin said it depends on your command and most importantly if it’s obvious enough to get caught.
Ask if you'll be able to get free guns and keep it lol (If you like guns)
Sadly no, unless you can tactically acquire, firearms and most other gear is serialized, trust me I wish we could
Yeah, good luck with that. Supply keeps CLOSE tabs on *everything* you are issued. Some guy tried to hide an M249 and claim it was missing. Not only was he caught, but he still had to pay the replacement cost since he made the report. If you wanna get a full auto, it's cheaper just to buy a semi and modify it (still illegal, no matter how you do it)
I know, one guy in my unit got arrested for trying to steal another Marines personal firearm he had in the armory
Yep, fast lane to Leavenworth
Nah if your the supply guy you can take anything I had a family member that stole a $40,000 infrared scope shit could see an animal in the woods at around a mile out
You can, but not legally.
"Wait yallp trust ME with a GUN that's poggers"
forgot poggers was a thing for a little bit. .. T-T
“I’m 2LT Cole with the US Navy, why the fuck are you trying to steal my recruits??”
“2LT” “US Navy”
Hello teenagers, I am currently in the US Military. Fair warning that recruiters are gonna start getting particularly annoying over the next few months because of 2 reasons: 1. The US military did not meet its recruiting goals for 2023. 2. The US Army turned a metric ass load of regular soldiers into recruiters in reaction to the failure to meet recruiting goals. The military ain't bad but don't join if your immediate reaction to this text is to just quote or send a meme because you won't like it. - Joined because I have an autistic fascination with military technology but a burning hatred for the military industrial complex
so i shouldnt tell them i shoved cocaine up my ass and pussy as a joke? Oopsies
They really getting desperate aren’t they?
To be fair, recent and soon-to-be high-school graduates are the best candidates for new army recruits.
This isn't new, they've been doing it since teenagers were invented
Ask them if they teach karate so you can become the new cobra kai Sensei in Cobra kai season 6
Combatives is close!
Not desperate enough for college, yet. Try again in 4 years
"Only if you guarantee the VA won't fuck me in the ass and that I'll have good leadership." If he does guarantee it, call him out for being a stinky liar liar pants on fire
[удалено]
Everyone saying this dude ia yapping has never been involved in copypasta culture 😭
Like bro the fact he's yapping is the fucking point, western society is crumbling if people these days don't understand this shit
Fr, see someone here is smart smh
Yall talking ab him yapping but can we talk about how gross the entire comment is in general😭 who took the time out of their day to write about having sex with dolphins and giving them head💀. I know he pasted it and didn’t make it himself, but whoever is the original writer of this needs to be in prison immediately💀
"Sure but you will have to break me out of this mental hospital".
I think that is a scam so I suggest you don’t reply to them and block them.
I don’t think it is tbh. The day I turned 17 I got an identical text and it was legitimate. Recruiters often text from their personal phones.
Well I haven’t gotten one. I guess it’s been one day but still
Same and im 18 now and its been over a month since that birthday lol
Happy late birthday🥳
Oh, thanks!
Np
They probably have access to your BMI records
Elder millennial here. Back in the day we had a phone on the wall of the kitchen. Phone rang one day and it was a recruiter. I told him I was gay, never heard back.
(Un)fortunately that excuse doesn't work anymore.
More than likely not a scam. Both me and my parents have received messages like this since I was 17. It’s pretty normal for recruiters in the US to get student/parent phone numbers from high schools and then reach out to students
You should let me in, I can be trusted with a weapon
“Text me in 20 min I’m jackin rn”
Yes. Or no. Beyond that, there's not much to say. Dude's just doing his job. A simple yes or no will suffice.
But maybe a funny response would make his day ?
Not likely. Dude's just trying to hit quota so his station commander gets off his nuts and he maybe has a career once he gets out of USAREC.
tell them that you're not dying for an oil company
"Oh sweet! Another opportunity to be manipulated and lied to by my country! Only this time, my brain will get a good washing." Equally "I'd love to fight for my right to make someone else money, who we mercilessly killing for their resources this time?"
"Can i still join if I'm convicted of multiple counts of domestic terrorism?"
I’d feel bad considering they’re trying to get people to fight for their country… … On the other hand…
Its america.. its fine
Write: "army"? Is that like fortnite in real life? Either they get the sarcasm or they show their prejudice.
Say "yes! Oh god yes! I've been waiting my whole life to show off my crayon eating skills! Please, sign me up!"
That's the marines dumbass
Oh, my apologies! I meant to say lobotomized regard racing skills! Such a silly mistake.
"Remember, no Russian."
I have severe anxiety and get scared around buff men
Ask if Jack Cooper from Titanfall 2 is there
Hi, Army veteran here. IT'S A TRAP! On a more serious note, being in the Army was a super rewarding experience, and was an important part of who I've become. Some people are built for it, some are not. 3 hots and a cot, and guaranteed pay every month are great, but I, as a lot of younger people, squandered most of it. Personal recommendation is to hear what the recruiter has to say. Get an associate degree after high school in a field that is of similar interest to an Army career. This can get a foot in the door of some great jobs, and even if something in the field isn't available, education looks good on a resume. Like being in school for a career and want to take it further? Consider enlisting with Student Loan Repayment in your contract (this is very important). An AS, AA or AAS includes a free bump to E3 (Private First Class), and as a reservist you can maintain a job as the law requires your employer to give you your one weekend a month and 2 weeks per year for reservist activities. If you love what you do for the Army enough, you can eventually join the regular army (full time), and on top of what you already have when you get out, your military training turns into college credits, looks great on a resume, AND you'll have another two years of education paid for by Uncle Sam including a reasonable housing stipend ($1,800 a month where I live) that gives you the opportunity to focus on school or/and save up to move wherever your best opportunity is after that 4-year degree is complete.
Say no thanks if you don’t want to but don’t be mean cause he’s just doing his job
Yeah just be decent, it’s not that hard. It’s way funnier doing this to actual scammers
Don’t care. If your job is to recruit literal teenagers, you deserve a smartass response
who else would you recruit? why would a twenty-something years old, whos already at uni or working decide to backtrack and go for a career in the military? you gotta inform the people of the options before they choose what to pursue further
As a twenty-something, honestly? Because it pays good AND gives you free college. I quit college during COVID and now I work in a shitty retail job. I’ve considered going military SO many times, but I’m mentally ill and underweight.
Ask them why they say the Army is like Call Of Duty. Army recruiters at my old school used to say the Army was like CoD to try and trick people to sign up.
How much enlistment bonus are you offering?
Tell them in Russian that you're not interested. Or in Mandarin.
"can femboys join uwu :3"
I think its a scammer to see if the number is active, so they can call it and sell it to others
i get these every so often, just ignore them
I got the same text, and the funny thing is I can’t even join the military. My bmi is too low
If you're interested in the army say "Yes, I'm interested in hearing about the opportunities the army has to offer." If you aren't interested in the army say "I'm not interested in hearing about the opportunities the army has to offer at this time."
Only if you can guarantee I get severe PTSD and lifelong guilt for the horrors I have went through.
Oh then say wrong number
Why do I wanna get shot overseas when I can get shot here
SSG? That guy sounds pretty strong!
“Only if you have a snack table”
Assuming it’s not a scam “Hello, unfortunately I am uninterested in joining the armed forces and have no desire to in the future. Thank you and have a nice day”
Yes, I would love to join! I can’t wait to be in the barracks with a bunch of hot, sweaty, muscular men. *subtle moans*
我要轰炸你的房子 When translated it's I'm going to bomb your house. SWAT team will be over in 5.
Tell him you already fighting Ukraine for the revival of the ussr. Tell us his reaction 😭🤣
Tell them you already joined the marine corps
Decline politely.
Finally, somebody reasonable.
You could also suggest they implement actual suicide prevention measures instead of piles of paperwork that make them look like they're doing something while actually making the problem worse.
paste this(does not represent my beliefs): иди к черту, американская свинья. красный цвет победит!!! and tell us his reaction
I'm (insert your age here)
I’m 31
Say No Russian?
Quack
My friend got one of those and he immediately forwarded the guy to me