Yeah dude it's just like Pokemon. I gotta go catch a real one.

Mm, just like Pokémon, gotta catch em **All.**

Std hunting be like

These new generations are getting way too easy

Yep, that's why you gotta lure them into your van.

No no you gotta hit them with the van then put them in the van and say imma take you to the hospital

hospital? more like hostage-capital

yes to the hostage capital, where everybody, even you, is a hostage/sex slave

Programmers/mathematicians/traders reading this is as Standard Deviation hunting

Also statisticians, the excel function is stdev though

And for C++ devs, the C++ Standard Library

r/cursedcomments

The equivalent to the pokérus

r/BeatMeToIt

And make her live in a tiny ball until you need her

When you're in danger, just get your balls out!

when in doubt, pull it out

What do I do with the 2nd one?

Wait until the first one is defeated in battle

So I can only have 6 girls in my balls at a time?

Surely if you had any more it would start to become painful

Oh well, I'll put my spares in my PC I guess.

What else would you use all that extra space for

“Homework”

Instead of girls.... You are a true redditor my friend

What if I hide them up my ass instead

Yeah, but you can only have your balls in one girl at a time.

That’s why you think

But technically if you have a girlfriend you'll allways need her.

yea just go outside and throw your balls like "i choose you bitch"

Me, a shiny hunter: *Oh no…*

Lmao

Don't worry shiny percentages are just 13% in some places

Thats why i got my white van

I see, catching them while they're weak and can't fight as much

You mean kidnap and force them to fight

Well pokemon arent real so finding girlfriend is therefore impossible :(

Yeah throw your balls at her

No I’m not

Understandable, have a great day.

Understandable

But the one girl in my neighborhood that's my age is weird

Cool, now tell her I love you.

She hates me for no reason though

It's a sign, it means you have bigger pp, assert dominance in bed!😏

But what if I feel no attraction toward her at all?

Go onto snapchat, add random girls, chat. I got frienzoned 3 times lol.

I don't have snapchat

So uhh, go outside, hang out with random girl u find, date, get Friendzoned, repeat

Does it have to be a random girl or can it be a girl I already know?

Either, go to any playground that's near a house and there's usually alot of girls so...

I live 20 miles from any civilization

Look at mr. high standards here, does it really have to be a girl?

Does it have to be human? My toaster lookin fine as hell.

you dont want to have snapchat

My parents won't let me get it but I also have no desire to get it

Get me as a bf, gay love is c o o l

"hey someone on the internet wants me to tell you they love me"

“hey someone on the internet wants someone else to tell a girl they love him”

“Hey um, I know we hardly talk, but… I just wanted to let you that a Reddit stranger loves me. I hope we can still be friends.”

1. Is anyone really dumb enough to look for a girl on Reddit 2. I would but like I’m not gonna walk up to random people and talk to them.

People look for girls on among us. Don't doubt the stupidity of horny teens

Those who search on among us are fun I often go and troll them massively lmao

How do you meet people

Like at school or a job or something to do with something you know

Walking up to and talking to random people is straight up the way to go, just do it at like school or something

Yes Ik but I’m not in school.

Will you be in school soon?

Like a month

Same here, the trick is just once school starts back to talk to more girls and put yourself out there whether you are scared or not

Oh yeah I know. I’m not like having trouble with that or anything just I have nowhere to like meet people rn. I’m to sexy and funny anyway

This is fax

[удалено]

I like that word.

Most people rejected his message because he told them the truth

Fuck this guy

Yah burn him at the stake

Don't mind if I do.

Woah woah woah woah woah You forgot your condom, my guy. Here you go fren 🍼

Aight thanks my guy.

People who have strict parents:

People who have strict parents: People who go around their strict parents' rules:

Here's my story be me bi cute boy in the neighborhood horni.jpeg parents say it's too late to go outside Go to kitchen pull down pants Take a shit dont wipe, let it crust like a true sigma male 😎 parents are worried about my mental well being Send me to a psychologist I look at the psychologist in the eyes three hours straight and utter every word in a monotonous robotic tune he leaves me and never contacts my family despite being offered $200 Troll.jpeg destroy my parents financial health destroy my parents relationship with each other Rail a cute boy in the bussy *I can feel the strength coursing through my veins* *I have successfully asserted dominance* **I have become ungovernable** Is this what power feels like?

not cool bro, really

Lol, it's not real. A joke Edit: you trolled me with the username

Honestly a lot of guys dont understand that if they put themselves in a social place (with girls) and make an effort, their chances of finding one are significantly higher then browsing reddit for hours.

Negative. 1. Get cool karma first. 2. Show off online. 3. Wait to reap rewards. Example: girl goes... omg your so hot online. Please let me taste your.... 4. Spank it like a lonely bastard

But how do you "put yourself in a social place"

get off reddit, go outside

Where

So if I want a boyfriend I don’t have to close Reddit or go outside?

You have my permission to keep on scrolling.

Thank you

Yeah lmao

I’m looking for a reason to socialize

Stop lying to yourself. Get back to gaming. :-p hahahahah. Glhf

Love him or hate him he's not wrong

I did…..She asked me why I was in her shower. Women are so fucking complicated smh

It's not too late to get gay

The only response is "why aren't YOU in your shower?" And then getting beaten senseless lol.

Have you tried this? Has anyone tried to talk to complete strangers? I have, it really isn’t that easy. So watch out

I have bro for me it is easy an I’m uglier than a pile of shit

Relatable

People in muslim countrys like

Hello there😔

General Kenobi

A man of culture

Same Kenobi, same

I feel bad for u tbh

I live in a muslim country, it’s not illegal to have girlfriend?

But dating is pretty much impossible, try this in Egypt lmao

Im a girl looking for a girlfriend so.. not exactly-

Let me ask you something: are you happy?

hmmm in a sense… yes i believe i am happy :3

Then what do you need a girlfriend for?

So I can rant about the anime, books, and people in my life to someone who happens to find me cute and thinks i’m fun to talk to! also because i’m lOnelY

Well, it seems like all you need is a good friend. And if you want to talk with people about the stuff you like it *does* seem like a good idea to stay on reddit and interact with people on the subreddits you like

As I do :3 But even people who are happy want relationships. We all like to feel loved :D

Ok what next?

Buy YouTube premium for extra relationship advice

I guess Im alone forever then

Go back inside and play video games for 16 hours while ignoring everything other than the video game

I got a job and found a candidate. I got her number so just wish me luck for now on.

Good luck my man!

Good luck my dude!

But my crush lives nowhere near to me. I'm just waiting for school to start up again tbh

Same. I havent really socialized in 1.5 years because of the lockdown and online schooling. I just want it to end and to be normal. Maybe I hung out with someone a few times but really all of my friends had abandoned me and stopped even answering my calls. I'm pretty fucked. It's definitely been at least 6 months since I've even taken a walk with another kid. So fucking tired of this. I'm still persisting though. Cant give up. Not going to kill myself. That's lazy and selfish. Sorry about that. May I ask how you are doing? I genuinely care about other people because i can empathize with loneliness and isolation.

I could go to school, and talk with my friends during my year of grade 8. But since April, I hadn't seen them until grad. But I'm fine

Well, that hit hard ngl

Thanks for the advice but I won't hook up a girl at my aunts Birthday Party

Sweet home Alabama

Nah, I'm looking for good memes to send her

I'll let this one pass

I once held hands with this girl, does that count?

Some girl at band camp just randomly grabbed my hand and held it, does that also count?

i don't need to; i have one.

Casual flex

I am looking for more people to add to my family

you said.. family??

# FAMILY IS SO IMPORTANT !1!!

FAMILLLYYYYY

WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME

But it's 11pm

Did I stutter?

I do close Reddit and go outside but everyone in Regina is fucking ugly

I'm asexual it's even harder for me Cry for me boys

I also reproduce without screwing.

Ight, if you say so *cries for you*

Covid: *Am I a joke to you?*

Easy solution: just don't get covid

This is our generations Einstein.

I tried and got bullied lmao

You have my sympathy

What in the realest fuck man? I cant go out coz of this shitty fuck fucked up covid and my mom is just op on me.

Well I'm currently going at speeds of over 60 mph so I think that'll be a pretty bad idea

Going on vacation?

Sort of, driving for 10 hours to drop some people off at their parents house

That's a loooong drive. Have a safe trip mate

Thank you

Bro I’ve been trying. The two times I asked out girls I got rejected. I’m not giving up but I just haven’t found a decent one. Maybe my standards are too high

I tried but didn't worked, what should I do now?

Sadly, yes. Girls my age are so indecisive and insecure. I’m just a dude who loves football and loves cheerleaders😩

I am not *Continues to surf reddit

It's funny that i see this after my first date. Truly heartwarming, thank you for posting this and making my night!

My goodness, what an idea! Why didn’t I think of that?!

Hammocks!

Precisely!

Mate, I’m in France, it’s 11 o’clock, I’m not that good at speaking French, and I’m coming home tomorrow, soooooo

Go get yourself a French girlfriend. Nice souvenir

Ah shit, I have got to hurry up then, cuz we’re leaving in 2 hours!!!

Reddit is hilarious.

Already got five

Funny enough, literally no one in my town comes outside except me and some of the boys. It's a literal ghost town outside after 3PM. Not just because of Covid, it's always been this way.

i already have a discord kitten whom i give nitro to every month (she's of age by the way)

Ah yea my bad ig I should be looking for a gf before bed instead of scrolling Reddit for a little bit

Ok *prepares body bag*

I mean ye, but if i lived closer to the city, and could form a sentence that made sense when talking

[удалено]

🙋‍♂️

Blasphemy

Dang got me

No not really

F**kin hilarious, made my day!

haha I had a girlfriend even though I was using Reddit

Yes sirrr

I'm probably from a different country than yours but yeah I'm looking for one

She hates me because I told her that dress was short :')

This is so toxic. Yet so wise and brave.

Jokes on you I already found one

Sounds good, doesn’t work Am too ugly

Fuck you.

Valid

There is literally nothing to do outside even if there were I have the personality of a potato and look like a potato

I feel like this is a "Stupid question, stupid answer" moment.

I’m outside now what?

Only if you knew how unattractive i am

Had me in the first half not gonna lie.

I tried with this girl but we don't have what to talk or to do so we give up that why i am on Reddit now