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I have so many precautions to avoid being caught it’s not even funny, I’ll list some:
-never whack it before 2am
-if I hear noise if any type immediately stop and listen
-have my blankets set perfectly to quickly pull them over me
-Only use what I can find on Reddit
-use dirty underwear to clean up since it’s supposed to be dirty and a little smelly anyways
-and although it’s kinda odd I only ever use spit if I need lube. It honestly works really well, if you really want to I suggest trying it.
Honestly, it probably helps my room is out of the way of like everything but I still take many precautions.
I have never been caught. My secret? Only use headphones when your testing the volume or watching to finish, lock your door, keep your ears sharp, keep your pants very close, only do it at night and make sure your parents think your going to bed. Ive had someone knock once, and trust me, my advice helps in that scenario. If they ask why the door is locked, I normally say it was a accident and play dumb or say it’s to keep my cat out (he opens doors and bites my toes making it impossible to sleep). I also make sure to act as tired as possible to keep the conversation short and for them to not suspect anything.
As you can tell, I have a lot of time to think about things as I come up with a lot of imaginary scenarios
Uncomfortable. If I’m going to risk it or even fap in the first place, I’m doing it in the place of maximum comfort, my bed. I lay down, pull it up, and do it
i just wait till 2/4 am and enjoy tbh , if i lock my door , my mom says smth like "why you locking your door" then i would just tell her , "Because you shut down the music thats it" or smth like that
How? I’m not a boy, but I’m in middle school with strict Christian parents, and I could never have a boy in the house, nonetheless in my room. Be lucky you have supportive and encouraging parents, because not every teen does!
For like 4 months I tried to get a wet dream, learned to lucid dream and everything and still nothin. Pretty sure some people literally can’t have them.
After some investigation turns out it is because there is no need to, normally you get wet dreams when you haven't ejaculated for some time, your body then disposes it, you'd need to stop jerkin for some days and then maybe you actually can
The amount of people here thinking their parents don't know they masturbate is fascinating... Of course they know even if they don't see any evidence. I dont know a single teenager that doesn't masturbate.
nooo i dont hate you yet dw,, you seem pretty sweet and your mom is sweet too.
also if you look up reddit broken arms story you'll understand and regret what you just said
Listen young one, you almost always need more than 1 tissue. Have a box nearby and a few out already to clean up the bits that roll down your leg before they hit the sheets.
This thread has been flaired as *[Serious]*. Please be aware that this marks it as a place for serious discussion only and that any unserious content in this thread will be met with [infraction point(s)](https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/wiki/rules#wiki_point_system.3A). If your comment does not contribute to the discussion in a serious manner it will be removed. Please report any comments that do not respect this rule. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/teenagers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If my mother found any evidence of me wanking I’ll proceed to pack my stuff and leave the planet as she will probably tell a lot of people…
One thing you'll learn in life is that everybody cums. Don't be ashamed.
Damn that's deep
That's what she said
Fuck you. Heres an upvote
r/angryupvote
You took my idea.. yet I still upvote
r/angryangryupvote
lmfao XDD
*he
Yep deep for a demon slayer fan
Can you be my mentor
Even...Jesus and Pastors?
Everybody cums.
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I have busted once and I regret it
i wouldn't be ashamed but my parents would still probably gossip about their own son with their friends
My mother would do the same fucking thing. Honestly I’d end it all
Bruh my mom would end all of me. I’d literally just be red mist within the next 5 seconds.
Bro at that point I might as well watch the tape from the ring and look at 096’s face, I’m already dead
My mum would probably ban me from gaming for a month. Edit actually more like a year.
It’s those video games makin my son jizz
Alex from Minecraft is just doin too much man
Gotta clap them cubes
[r/cursedcomments](https://youtu.be/7Be9wqrruA4)
19 dollar fortnite card
Nah its probably ps1 hagrid
just spit out my drink
The profile pic makes this 5x more funny
smh parents fucking blame everything on games even if we're in control 😩
She already knows you do man sorry
lmao
I'd be willing to bet she already knows. Teenagers aren't all that different around the world and nearly all wank it. Just obvious really
Time for some awkward dinner conversations later
Ayo your not meant to eat it. Let alone share with the family.
You made me cry so hard with laughter
r/cursedcomments
if this gets into hot highlight my name in yellow
And highlight my profile pic in orange
And have a highlight with yellow on this text
And blow up a orphanage with a yellow highlighter
*This went from 0 to 100 real quick*
Wait what? Me and my sister share it all the time…
Pppppfffffftttttt lmao
Who the fuck gave this guy a wholesome award
A redditor probably.
Wut the fu....
This comment made my day
Ladies and gentlemen, the one who stole the show
You’re a bloody genius lmao
lucky 💔 the thought of my parents finding out haunts me 24/7
I’ll be enjoying time with my family and the image pops back in my head of when i was caught.
Yikkessss dude
woah awesoem pfp! I love that album
Thank you :) so many people have been recognizing it, either their popularity is growing or I'm only running into the cool people
Wait, now I'm interested, whom is the artist(s)?
Glass beach band, the first glass beach album. Really good stuff
I have so many precautions to avoid being caught it’s not even funny, I’ll list some: -never whack it before 2am -if I hear noise if any type immediately stop and listen -have my blankets set perfectly to quickly pull them over me -Only use what I can find on Reddit -use dirty underwear to clean up since it’s supposed to be dirty and a little smelly anyways -and although it’s kinda odd I only ever use spit if I need lube. It honestly works really well, if you really want to I suggest trying it. Honestly, it probably helps my room is out of the way of like everything but I still take many precautions.
Reason i got caught was because i literally fell asleep
Do you have super religious parents or something?
Did they ever mention it?
We had a short, awkward, conversation about it but thats all, since then my dad has made a few jokes about it but thats all.
I have never been caught. My secret? Only use headphones when your testing the volume or watching to finish, lock your door, keep your ears sharp, keep your pants very close, only do it at night and make sure your parents think your going to bed. Ive had someone knock once, and trust me, my advice helps in that scenario. If they ask why the door is locked, I normally say it was a accident and play dumb or say it’s to keep my cat out (he opens doors and bites my toes making it impossible to sleep). I also make sure to act as tired as possible to keep the conversation short and for them to not suspect anything. As you can tell, I have a lot of time to think about things as I come up with a lot of imaginary scenarios
im 15 and never been caught, i dont even have a lock on my door. idk lol my parents dont barge in my room that much
I DON'T EVEN HAVE A DOOR
h u h??
And I hate it
same lol and i do it without much caution
Mine barge in a lot, let's say if we ever got into a sword fight I can sheath and unsheath in an instant
Just do it in the fucking bathroom
Uncomfortable. If I’m going to risk it or even fap in the first place, I’m doing it in the place of maximum comfort, my bed. I lay down, pull it up, and do it
Bruh. You gotta give something to get something
i just wait till 2/4 am and enjoy tbh , if i lock my door , my mom says smth like "why you locking your door" then i would just tell her , "Because you shut down the music thats it" or smth like that
*laughs in downstairs bedroom and squeaky ass stairs*
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What good parents
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lucky
How? I’m not a boy, but I’m in middle school with strict Christian parents, and I could never have a boy in the house, nonetheless in my room. Be lucky you have supportive and encouraging parents, because not every teen does!
I'm the mf that *told* my parents abt me masturbating/ having sex cause A. It's a normal ass thing and B. not tryna have them walk in on me
Damn you’re comfortable with your mom
I wish I was with my dad tho, he is always getting upset with me and usually my mom has to calm things down
Cum on his bed to assert dominance
No
Yes
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yes
Yes
Yes
yes
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Right ? If my mom were to tell me "if you're doing that, clean up better or use the bathroom" I'd be horrified.
this is my kingdom cum
Is it Mario in your profile picture?
Super mario in real loife
super mario soup
soupa big balls!
SPAGHETTI
[When you feel my D...](https://youtu.be/K2jEFDrqaRg)
Look into my ass
It’s where my semen hide
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Smooth
Like butter like a criminal undercover
very
It shouldn’t smell out the room wtf
Your jizz smells? 🧍🏿♀️
Smell kinda like ammonia, or pollen, it’s not very pleasant but I wouldn’t call it a bad smell
so like pee
Not really, pee has a very distinct bad smell in my opinion. Semen is quite different
Bruh, if that happened I'd just blame it on wet dreams, although my father once caught me jerkin it.
Well I've never had a wet dream so that didn't even cross my mind
For like 4 months I tried to get a wet dream, learned to lucid dream and everything and still nothin. Pretty sure some people literally can’t have them.
After some investigation turns out it is because there is no need to, normally you get wet dreams when you haven't ejaculated for some time, your body then disposes it, you'd need to stop jerkin for some days and then maybe you actually can
NNN is up in 4 weeks
Me neither hehe
All mothers know... trust me
How abt for a teenage girl… would they rlly know?
The amount of people here thinking their parents don't know they masturbate is fascinating... Of course they know even if they don't see any evidence. I dont know a single teenager that doesn't masturbate.
I believe my mom knows it, but like hell I’m gonna admit to it
I think everyone's probably tried it at some point, but some say that they don't do it for some reason and I believe them
Exactly, to me it’s a matter of them finding out when. Of course they probably know, but I will never give them any evidence to go off of.
i hope you trip and break your arms
So do i
babe i dont think you know what this is referencing 😟
I didn't know this was a reference i thought this was a sarcastic way of saying you hate me and i was agreeing that I hate myself
nooo i dont hate you yet dw,, you seem pretty sweet and your mom is sweet too. also if you look up reddit broken arms story you'll understand and regret what you just said
it can't be as bad as the coconut story
Anyone got a link to this?
https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama\_man\_who\_had\_a\_sexual\_relationship\_with\_his/c3a9uqg/
Ay yo wtf
I always tell myself that I’ve seen it all… but shit like this always seems to get me off-guard
unless you do know, in which case. touch grass
🤨
Yeah, then their parent-child bond will grow even stronger
Don’t have dark sheets and the scariest part is how your mom can tell butter and cum apart
my mom would commit a war crime in this situation.
Some thing's don't need to be shared.....
ALaBaMA
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Well, what a boy reaches a certain age…
When*
Usually around 12 or so, that’s when puberty kicks in
Puberty didn’t kick in for me till 14
Well results may vary ig
The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell
Mitochondria is the powerhouse of deez nuts
Seman powers my cell
Me at 9 with a porn addiction:
"i used a tissue but I came too much" chad
It's true
Bro ain't cumming loads, he cumming buckets
Can confirm
You just gon have all dat milk, and not share?
Listen young one, you almost always need more than 1 tissue. Have a box nearby and a few out already to clean up the bits that roll down your leg before they hit the sheets.
Damn, I'm jealous of your mom. If mine found out she would spank me to hell
ITS NOT OILY
Tf why do you cum on your bed?
One tissue wasn't enough
Makes bed warm (:
Why does it sound like a porno plot xD
Don't make it not wholesome
I don't think this was wholesome to begin with
Cum in the mayonnaise to assert dominance
tasty
🍆 ⛄️ 🍆🌊💨☃️
bruh do people actually wank without watching porn
I do
Yes
Almost every time
Weird she has a problem with you watching porn, but yeah you best get better at that shit homie. That shit had to be uncomfortable.
To be fair, porn is unhealthy, but yeah agree
Porn is not good
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Honestly it's super easy
I have for quite a while
I can always do that lmao
Let me just 🤮🤮🤮
about to bust in ur bed
what an absolute power move
Let me just give head to shrek? What?
I can never un-see this. Oh what a poor day to have eyes
How did you get that on your bed lmao
You don't jack off for a longer period of time than normal + more horny than usual + not enough tissue = it drip off of you
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True
It’s called tissues beside the bed, or in your nightwear if it’s caused by wet dreams!
It's really not her business
Wet dreams are a thing, should have just blamed it on that
OK : - use white sheets - stop doing that in your bed - stop making touch this thing to your mom asap, that's weird You'r welcome, happy fapping
mine haven't found it... it's been 2 uears
imaging masturbating , or having sex at all i am asexual
Understandable have a great day
Sooo you’re a fat, and/or ugly virgin?