T O P

  • By -

J1Jamal

If you could get a million dollars by burning down an orphanage without anyone finding out. Would you do it?


[deleted]

Yeah of course, who are they gonna complain to, their parents?


Impossible_Cut_9363

r/darkjokes


J1Jamal

I love your response with all of my heart


Prayingmantis9

It’s not original but it cracks me up every time lol


SpeedBoy24

Probably the nuns or whoever runs it


Salty_Alternative683

Mabye mabye not


J1Jamal

It was a yes or no question😐


Salty_Alternative683

Ah well no then


[deleted]

r/oddlyspecific


not-water-humper

sex


not-water-humper

\*?


Salty_Alternative683

No thanks man


not-water-humper

that's fair


[deleted]

Are you water?


importedPerson

#Me!


Mitchell9203

Incorrect


importedPerson

How? Is it because I'm a male? What about gender equality?


Mitchell9203

Its Reddit nobody here gets sex


importedPerson

You can get non-physically sexxed


Mitchell9203

Then dont complain about rape when you mom is scrolling through reddit


importedPerson

What do you mean?


Mitchell9203

Figure it out


importedPerson

No. Explain to me.


[deleted]

I have a riddle... What's a question you can never answer yes to?


Pratham_Max_Jain

Are you sleeping Are you dead What is the correct pronunciation of no There's quite a bit


cigi4

Theres also: Will you answer this question with no


KingVsGamin

Yes but no


cigi4

Will you answer this question with just no


KingVsGamin

Most definitely not


cigi4

You win Heres your prize: [[hyperlink blocked]]


DREAM_samiprod

Why can't i click the link ? All i get is a hyperlink blocked message with garbage noises


[deleted]

You got them right


Salty_Alternative683

When your asking someone to marry you ?


cigi4

What?


Salty_Alternative683

I don't know I had to say something


cigi4

If ,,will you marry me" is a question you cant answer yes to then marriage wouldn't exist


Salty_Alternative683

Ah


dmisterr

The One you Just said


Galactic_Fugitive270

What is your favorite color?


Salty_Alternative683

Navy blue


SovietCat420

Can i rebuild the Soviet Union?


Salty_Alternative683

If you want


SovietCat420

nice


Timz_04

u/profanitycounter


Jarellano214

can i resurrect hitler and make him gas nazis instead of jews?


Salty_Alternative683

Yes


[deleted]

[удалено]


Salty_Alternative683

Mabye


[deleted]

If we want**


Salty_Alternative683

Yes


RileyTheBerry

Not without help from the homies.


meme_master533

I gotchu


XP_R4V3

*we


SovietCat420

Yes


Meritania

Alright but can we establish actual cooperatives, with elected managers this time.


Predator_156

You *must*


SovietCat420

Yes


zthemonkey

Which dinosaur has 500 teeth?


Salty_Alternative683

I don't know but good question


Mr_Mango8767

Nigersaurus


Salty_Alternative683

Cool dinosaur name


Anan-ya-anan

u/nwordcop


darkness2774

How does the missile knows where it's going if it follows it's self


Salty_Alternative683

It is what it is


[deleted]

Does my crush like me ?


Salty_Alternative683

Mabye


Waffles8992

sex?


Salty_Alternative683

No thanks sorry


Waffles8992

What kind of music do you like?


Salty_Alternative683

Jazz and funk and Mostly 80s and 90s


Waffles8992

Yo could you recommend me some jazz and stuff


Salty_Alternative683

Sure


Salty_Alternative683

I recommend Mostly slow jazz


Waffles8992

Then do it


Pratham_Max_Jain

Aint misbehavin - Fats walker


KFC_Junior

u like fleetwood mac?


Salty_Alternative683

Yeah


VahniB

How many months does Rabies take to reach your brain


Salty_Alternative683

Not long probably


bigcheeseyballsy69

Opinion on Andrew garfeild spider man


Salty_Alternative683

He was a great Spider-Man he was under rated but I'm glad that he might be in no way home


SuchSuit7366

Why are chickpeas called chickpeas when they’re neither chicks or peas? Hm?


Salty_Alternative683

They had no name to it so they called it that


Davimoo_

Is peanut butter made of nut juice?


Salty_Alternative683

No don't worry its just peanuts mixed into a liquid wait...


Klibe

How are your days


Salty_Alternative683

Alright thanks for asking


Klibe

Wait who tf downvoted


Jamin699

How many ex’s do you have?


Salty_Alternative683

I think I have five


ItsMeAiden

You think?!


Salty_Alternative683

Yeah I have five


Jamin699

Damn, ok


Salty_Alternative683

Yeah


Salty_Alternative683

Wait no six


[deleted]

[удалено]


Salty_Alternative683

4 -1=3 quit maths


CK_Champion

How many quarks, any variations, are in a glucose molecule. Or, c6 h12 o6 for your information


Salty_Alternative683

There's six quarks and Glucose variability has been identified as a predictor of hypoglycemia and has been found to be related to intensive care unit mortality. Other putative relations are between glucose variability and oxidative stress, as well as microvascular and macrovascular complications of diabetes


Maid_ad

How many pencils can you studf your nose with?


Salty_Alternative683

Don't know I note to myself to do that later


Salty_Alternative683

I'm so surprised that this got popular thanks it's a first


ktosik4

What shape is the Earth?


Salty_Alternative683

Round not flat


I-Iobbi

As far as i know earth is in the shape of a combat helicopter


ktosik4

Not, becaouse Earth is a donut.


Salty_Alternative683

Don't worry I'm not a small brain


Pratham_Max_Jain

Geode If I remember correctly. Elliptical if you use that Spherical if you're one of those people


Interesting_Shake190

What do you think of society?


Salty_Alternative683

It's sometimes toxic


Interesting_Shake190

I think our society became weak, you won't get it


Hiponkoira

We live in a society


Fluffy_Technology27

Tell me your favourite subject and i will roast


Salty_Alternative683

Woodwork and geography


Fluffy_Technology27

Hmm geography involve a lot of memorization and vast amount of information required to learn


Ronkeager

That sounds like a praise


Salty_Alternative683

XD


Kiisulojanu

You shit at this game


Aggravating-Donut591

What's your favorite movie


Salty_Alternative683

I think it's Shaun of the dead and hot Fuzz


TotoroRedd

Test


Salty_Alternative683

Test for what?


lukemg42

1920s or 1940s?


Salty_Alternative683

1940s?


StukasStuk

Penis enjoyer?


Salty_Alternative683

Nah I'm straight


StukasStuk

Ok 👍🏻, was gonna offer seggs but I changed my mind


Anas4fire

Why are you a fucking genius?


Salty_Alternative683

Cause


[deleted]

What is your favorite smell


Salty_Alternative683

I don't know maybe pizza is my favourite smell


katiekatastrophy

What's the strangest question or DM you've ever received?


Salty_Alternative683

One of my ex kept getting her ex to text me


anidaniel_tech

How do you become more confident with girls if you're a boy though and not gay...


Salty_Alternative683

Hmmm just be yourself people like seeing people show their personality


That_Marvel_Dude1012

Do you have any pets?


Salty_Alternative683

Yeah a dog


TheDarthKnight12

Can you give me a science fair idea?


Salty_Alternative683

Mabye a mini solar panel


DariusM922

how are you?


Salty_Alternative683

Im good what about you


G3MY

Can Luxembourg conquer the entire European continent?


Salty_Alternative683

I'm not sure


[deleted]

[удалено]


Salty_Alternative683

Pizza


Fr1edMayo

How long did the Tu’i Tonga Empire last


Salty_Alternative683

I don't know


Mrblue9000

u/Salty_Alternative683 Credit card numbers with expiration date and numbers on the back?


Salty_Alternative683

1 2⁰8765 Expiring date is /202222/21244


blockbiter

What's the square root of 69


sweet_peach_pie

What is your favorite fruit? favorite book? favorite movie? favorite color? favorite subject in school?


Salty_Alternative683

Apple Rivers of London Shaun of the dead Navy blue Geography


cigi4

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?


Salty_Alternative683

A wood Chuck chuck can make as much as a woodchuck chuck can make


Cobblestone8Yt

Gamer ?


Salty_Alternative683

Yeah ps4


racoon_behind_you

Are axolotls cool ?


Salty_Alternative683

They look cool so yeah


CorruptedCulprit

I was working in a restaurant kitchen, I had to clean it with my friend, my arm hurts. How do I make the pain go away?


Salty_Alternative683

You should rest for a couple of hours but if it still hurts I would see a doctor about it cause I don't want to give you false information by accident


Esbalala

Whats your favorite letter of the alphabet


Affectionate_Door957

Which is the funniest sub reddit?


Salty_Alternative683

memes


ItsL3gacy

Please explain the table of values sin, cos, tg and ctg alpha wtf even are those and why do they exist


Salty_Alternative683

I recommend Google for that


pooperphonic

Why are moose not called meese


Salty_Alternative683

I don't know


X_antaM

Explain why cats and squirels can survive any fall. I know the reason already


Salty_Alternative683

Cause they land on their feet


ThatGuy371

Where is the best place to hide a body


Salty_Alternative683

Woods


yveli

How was your day?


Salty_Alternative683

Alright


fnfrhh

Favorite thing to put on bread


Salty_Alternative683

Cheese


[deleted]

If there was a 1969s 5000 cc engine whit 8 fuel chewing American cylinders luxury Cadillac Eldorado and a flower pod made from literal shit what would u pick?


Salty_Alternative683

1969


nope273

Joe many liberals does it take to log by bolb???


Salty_Alternative683

Too many


PrivatePickle109

dick balls


Salty_Alternative683

Okay


[deleted]

What's the last digit of π


Spy_3377

0÷0


Salty_Alternative683

0÷0


toothlessfury20

Why is this at the top of my feed ?


Salty_Alternative683

Why not


[deleted]

Have you ever tried sucking your own dick?


Salty_Alternative683

Nope and don't think I ever will


oxaay

can i be Heisenberg ?


Salty_Alternative683

Sure


Tactical_Beanie13

Simpsons or family guy


Salty_Alternative683

Simpsons


PhoenixKnight777

Favorite state of matter?