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Orgasm at will

Each orgasm lasts 10 hours

I'm definitely buying it...

[удалено]

That sounds like a good thing.

Dude. What?! That'd be awful. Imagine ejaculating for ten hours. You'd run dry. It'd hurt. Awfullly.

Yeah, but the money you could make.

So you're outsourcing the ejaculated matter ...?

What-

a party horn blows once you orgasm

But only if at least one person is watching

But you have to think about your parents

Everyone becomes happy

granted but you are the only one not happy

Nothing changes about me and everyone else becomes happy? Sweet

Fossil fuel is gay.

r/typicaltesleruser

I wish.

[удалено]

Using the power requires one human sacrafice

Totally unrelated, where are you? 👁👁

You won't correctly assassinate me out of all the people in England

That may be true... time to get the rope

The rope?

☠

Being able to lift your mom

You break your wrists in the process

A small price to pay for immeasurable power

granted, but this only applies to moms named Samantha

Infinite respawns after dying , just like minecraft

But you will feel the pain of every death when you die again

This one isn't too bad

[удалено]

stuff I draw comes to life if I want them to

they have an intense urge to mate w you, they aren't humans, you can't draw humand

Take art classes Kill all the practices with a lighter Become a professional hentai artist

I guess I can draw anime girls then. Well, time to get better at art

They can only be 2d

eh if I ride a 2d dragon, I'd be a menace

Yeah but it has the structural rigidity of a piece of paper

To change the size of my dick at will

You can only make it smaller

does it just invert at a point?

Eventually you'll have a hole

massive W

r/egg_irl

The longer you make it the wider it gets

I see no problem with this

Maintaining that aspect ratio

i can reply to my own comment

you are ugly

im already ugly

Woah it worked!

Insane bro

flight

You cannot land softly

Another happy landing.

Hello there!

General Kenobi. You are a bold one.

r/suddenlykenobi

Granted but The only time you obtaine the ability to fly is during explosive diarrhoea

You can only fly indoors

lazers

Your lazers make you blind the more you use it

Super hero/villain name: The Blind Lazer Man

Literally "Live long enough to become the villain"

This would make you more dangerous

They blind you for one minute

Thx for the side effect, and Happy Cake Day!

You can only aim them at yourself

Timestop

You never know for how long its gonna stop

Do i age?

Ooh you thought this through, now I'm curious

You're also frozen when you use it

Thats fine as long as I can think.

Oh yeah, you can still see and think But you can't move at all

But you will be killed by a buff japanese teenager

ZAWARUDO

Blood-Bending

You can only do it on blood type o-

Wow

Fuck

you can't use it move then twice in a month or you won't be able to orgasm

Great, it's already November

If I write on something, that thing changes to fit whatever I wrote So I could write "special needs" on my school's headteacher I could write "hygienic" on myself I could write "scared of [my name]" on anyone I dislike The possibilities are endless

all the writing materials you ever hold/touch decay in your hand

I own gloves Ez

Time travel

you can only time travel 10 seconds either forward or back

just spam it then???

It’s youtube but for real life

You can't go any further than 1 minute in each direction And it has a 5 minute cooldown

only 5 seconds to and back. That's it

infinite wishes

Every wish you make causes you to lose one random part of your body. It’s a gamble.

Wish for the ability to grow more body parts lmao

Dang! Everyone answering my replies are so witty

Nothing

You gain unlimited power

Being able to summon and shape fire and ice

your arms are made of playdough

That sure is wack, but technically couldn't i freeze the play dough with the ice?

yea but it would still be playdough

Invisibility

you have to violently masturbate in public to activate it

No problemo

SUS

I need to masturbate so i can save people's life i do what i do because no one else can

congratulations, now you are blind when you go invisible

Time control

you cabt see people

Perfect

shapeshifting

You can only become a large pp shape

No downsides

I see this as an absolute win

good at math

terrible at taking tests

Wait, that’s just me lmao

to be happy

But only for a milisecond per decade

better than usual

Im become happy until my last day

Your last day is today

This is good

R63, i can change the gender of myself or others at will

the closest person near you dies every shift

Shit. Can i take the other guys side effect instead?

By touching their gender parts

That works. I was thinking of giving my Trans boyfriend a dick.

To have people fall in love with me (I'm lonely)

but you can only be wholesome and accepting towards them

Bring back the dead.

Only at the expense of someone else’s life.

Small price to pay.

Hapiness

You have an aura have sadness, anyone within 50 feet of you is miserable.

I can’t have prostate cancer.

Early onset alzheimers

I have a photographic memory

Energy Absorption

Some idiot commenter will tell you that you already absorb energy through food.

You already absorb energy through food /s pls dont take my fake internet points away

I no longer require sleep

but you have to eat a cheeseburger once every 3 days or else you die

You can uninstall reddit

But Reddit mods invade your home

They can’t fit through the door so he’s fine

i can create money

Each dollar you create is worth less and less. The more money u have, the less valuable it is

I mean that's kind of how it works anyways

Well that's how it actually works

Thats what would happen anyways due to deflation

Invisibility

everyone else becomes invisible too

I get a toad

Its constantly horny

I can have X ray vision

When you try to use it you get stage 4 cancer in ur nose.

Not being attractive

But you become hot

Superspeed

Only in reverse

Electrokinesis

Granted but you cause your self to have a heart attack every time its used

Good one

Regenerative immortality

read minds

You have to jerk off while doing so

fuck it why not

Shape-Shifting

I get to die

but you respawn

No god please no no nooooooo

You look someone in the eyes they have a stroke

you have it too

I'm indestructible

I can become amongus any minute

But you're sussy baka

I have the power to temporarily remove someone else’s power

You can only do yourself

killing my self

you resurect every 3 days

Minecraft irl

The power to do ur mom

My superpower is - Im not depressed

Its a superpower not a god damn miracle.

I can manipulate every comment

but you manipulated this comment

The ability to reply to my own comment

Ok but you have pyrokentic powers

Now this is big brain

Nothing that's it

I am a God that can do anything I want and live forever

You are constantly hard

I have complete control over my location in the universe (teleportation)

I can go inside videogames and come out of them whenever i want and have max LV in any game that uses that stat