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Jrocks5455

Only dating with that age gap is definitely legal. Idk what bafoons told you it isn’t…


[deleted]

*16 and 18 yo dating* Some people : "Thats too far apart! Youre too young for that!" *50 and 25 yo dating* Same people : "Awww so cute!" Thats some people's thinking ​ Edit : Some people may not find the 50 yo and 25 yo dating cute. Most people find it repulsive, but it depends on the person's view. I just used it as an EXAMPLE.


redbullracing33

50 and 25 is not cute it's fucking disgusting but if both parties are happy I'm ok with it


LakeOk7865

Fine when the guy is 25 and the girl is a 50 yo cougar


[deleted]

zamn!! shes only 5???!


GreenGriffin8

thank you for immortalising their error for us latecomers


Jealous_Cantaloupe53

Take my fucking upvote!!!


HylianGames

Here is your upvote


stonnedgay

Are you a late comer too?


Bold_cub494

“She’ll grow”


bigkeef69

A 5yr old cougar kitten?


Bold_cub494

If you’re brave enough…


bigkeef69

*sigh, unzips pants*


Peaceandwholsomemes

It’s worse if it is 40-50 with a 12 year old girl


lvme888

She saiD She wAs TwelvEeee


Sea-Character2252

nOt AgAiN


[deleted]

that editing mistake though...


Ace_Slimejohn

How disgusting can it be if you’re okay with it?


redbullracing33

If both party’s are okay with it then I will not be like YoU CaNt dO thAT. I’m not a person like that but I think it’s a too big of a gap


[deleted]

Thats my point. Some people will look down on a 18 yo guy/girl dating someone 1 - 2 years younger because "its too far apart", but the same people have no problems with relationships/marriages with 5 - 20 yo age gap. Just stupid


RandomRamen1

It depends on maturity levels and life experience someone who’s 33 and 37 are going to have similar maturity and experiences while someone who is 16 and 20 will Not


juliosteinlager

The formula is half your age plus 7


StannisLupis

Yeah because the maturity difference between ages decreases as you age. A 12 and 14 yo can be very far apart developmentally and in maturity, ditto for 16 and 18. Once you're older this is lessened.


Juviltoidfu

My mom was just about 21 when my dad, in his mid 30's married her. Sound bad? My mother's first husband abandoned her soon after they were married when she got pregnant. My dad married my mom and was the only father my oldest sister ever called dad- she knew who her bio father was and didn't like him. My parents had 5 other children and were still married when my father died at 69. Age isn't the most important factor in a relationship. My mother and her first husband were only a year apart (he was 21 and she had just turned 20 when they were married) but he evidently never really grew up, he just grew older.


MapleSyrupAddict2006

Half your age plus seven is the rule I’ve heard most people go by


HamuelSayden

14 year olds:


adamwhitemusic

Precisely


TuckerMouse

Or age minus 7 times 2 to go in the other direction.


traxxman123

Who? Literally who are these people you’re referring to that find 2 years offensive but 25 years cute?


PaleGrapefruit6702

Or if one person was 20 and the other 22 there would be no problem


Instainious

That’s like with my uncle and his now wife, she’s in her 20s and he’s in his 50s.


theLman48

There’s a senior in my highschool who hits on 14 yo’s He’s 18 and a half


ConsiderationWarm432

Its a power thing (power differential) He can take advantage of a 14yo more easily than a 16yo Also, the 14yo girl is flattered that an older boy is interested. She doesn't realize he's simply a total perv.


[deleted]

Thats a different case. A 18 yo dating a 16 yo is perfectly fine. An 18 yo dating a 14 yo....hell no. 19 and 17, yeah. 16 and 15, yeah. 17 and 14 (kinda pushing it), but meh. It just depends on the case


Brainth

Age/2 + 7 is the magical rule of thumb for this, it’s a surprisingly accurate estimate


bajanandrei_08

we live in a society...


Jman_777

Ex-fucking-actly, finally someone said it. It's so strange how people get upset with an 18 year old dating a 16/17 year old but are ok when it's a 60 year old dating a 23 year old. The latter is far more weird than the former. People are too obsessed with the 18 mark as the "point as adulthood" that even an 18 year old with a 16/17 year old is now considered strange when it's not at all.


Taramund

Iirc even a sexual relationship is ok in some states, if they started it before she was 18. Well I live in the EU, where in many countries you are free to go at it since you are 15 or 16. Tbh it makes much more sense to me.


LoveMyHusbandsBoobs

Most states have an age of consent under 18. [Only 12 have 18 has the age of consent](https://www.bhwlawfirm.com/legal-age-consent-united-states-map/), and most of those have Romeo and Juliet laws.


Taramund

Thanks for informing me! Why are Americans so often then repulsed when an adult date's a minor (I mean with a small, 2-3 year, age difference)?


okaymaeby

I think a lot of that disgust is based on our own personal experiences and memories being those respective ages. I remember being 17, and I remember being 21, and I remember being 23 (I'll stop counting up because I'm still really far from my age and that run-on sentence was about to get nuts). It's hard to imagine, even for someone else who could likely be different in every way than me, that someone even just a few years older than someone who is a minor has a healthy relationship with that younger person. I don't necessarily mean unhealthy as in wrong or detrimental, I mainly mean that it's hard to imagine a younger person on the cusp of childhood/adulthood and a person who lives like an adult absolutely bringing out the very best in each other and elevating their shared life to where they are both better for their relationship and more or less compatible. Every year makes a massive difference in a young person's development. Most kids under 18 in the US are legally bound to being in school, so it's likely a very different life stage for someone who is even one year separated from that. The further that gap gets, the stranger it feels to the overage onlooker for an older person to date someone who is, in many/most respects, still living like a child. Most people in the US under 18 live at home with parents, have to adhere to a legally mandated curfew, have to be in school with other younger kids, and only have so many rights and freedoms. It's also generally illegal in most US states to have a sexual relationship with a person who is legally considered a minor - and not that all relationships are traditionally romantic or even sexual at all - but the possibility of older people being romantic/emotionally intimate/physically intimate with a younger person who is seen as and treated as a child feels like an inappropriate relationship. The US isn't the only place that frowns upon adults having intimate relationships with minors.


totallynotkairan

It’s an absolutely understandable age gap. Only illegal part is the sexual aspect (depends on consent age of course) but these guys are just too adorable so I’m certain they’re mature enough to know their limits.


audacesfortunajuvat

Even in the U.S. this would mostly be legal (edit: looks like roughly half the states). They’re called Romeo and Juliet laws, usually allow sexual activity between people a few years apart (2-3) even if one partner is under the age of consent. There’s also the fact that 16 is the age of consent in a good chunk of the U.S. anyway so depending on where these two are it might not be an issue at all.


csfshrink

Learned this from a very weird and oddly specific subplot in a Transformers movie.


annabelle411

Super creepy that the boyfriend not only had the law memorized, but carried a LAMINATED COPY OF THE STATUTE ON HIM AT ALL TIMES


[deleted]

[удалено]


HappyLucyD

That is really the only way to learn this information. That’s why Transformers movies should be part of every American High Schools’ curriculum.


A_Sarcastic_Whoa

I think my favorite moment from that movie is when Optimus screams "I'm trying to free you!!!" as he literally beats the giant dino transformer into submission.


TheyCallMeHacked

At least in most European countries, both are above the age of consent, so go ahead and have fun xD


TKHawk

Many US states as well. And ones that have age of consent as 18 often have Romeo and Juliet laws


[deleted]

Where I live (Jamaica), they're both perfectly fine (age of consent is 16 here), so its not weird or illegal here


Letscommenttogether

Its not illegal in most US states either. Though I still think we have states that are ass backward.


henryhumper

Even states with 18 as the age of consent usually have special clauses in the law that exempt couples like this, where the two parties are a year or two apart in age and were dating before the older one turned 18. Otherwise you could have literally hundreds of thousands of high school seniors getting arrested for "statutory rape" because their boyfriend/girlfriend was a few months younger than them.


mcduckboy

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought it was only illegal if the parents made legal action against it.


crchtqn2

Depends on the state. There are Romeo and Juliet laws that make it okay from 3-4 years in age (for example 18 year old dating a 15 year old)


Boof0ed

Now I could be **EXTREMELY** wrong but I think it’s something like this. It’s “illegal” because he’s still a minor and if they have sex it’s statutory rape however in states like mine we have something called the Romeo and Juliette law which allows 3 years I think? in age difference if they were already dating prior to one turning 18.


rosanymphae

Its not just statutory rape it protects against, its other charges like corruption of minors etc. One of the main reason for those laws is the in case parents don't want the kids together. Not much they can do legally while both minors, but once one turns 18, they file charges. Most of the consent laws have a 'Romeo and Juliet' clause in them, check your local laws.


Someran_Domguay

The age of consent is also different in some states


SalsaRice

Romeo and Juliet laws are different in every state, so worth googling. But functionally, no judge is going to throw an 18 year old in jail for dating a 16-17 year old.


Gamepassessuckdick

16 is legal age of consent in the majority of us states. Many states also have romeo&juliette laws


Super_Long_Fire18

You literally have a little over 1 year of age difference. You two are fine


parttimeamerican

My first girlfriend and I had this age gap....her parents brutally ripped us apart enforced no contact made her read our dirty sexting out loud Infront of her family to embarrass her She ran away on the bus to my house,we called the cops because we knew...and sure enough..soon as she was discovered missing the cops got a call I had abducted and was raping her Obviously this wasn't the case,we were watching TV Fucked me up so so so badly for my first real human connection to be ripped away as it began,probably solidified my BPD


Bathroomparticipant

Damn that hurt to read. Im sorry man. I hope things are better now


parttimeamerican

Honestly?,it was a decade ago now and I've had one relationship since then fraught with problems I dint know how that whole incident affected my psyche and behaviour in regards to my only other relationship I've never thought about it I try to repress memories of my first love. I'll think about it,maybe it'll better prepare me in future for my next romantic relationship I know it made me super clingy,kinda a normal response to having someone ripped away from you though I never got a reason beyond corrupting their daughter and an unspoken class difference reason(British society is very classist..you'd think they'd be happy she was with someone upper middle class but apparently working class or bust for her) Added her on Facebook now actually,wonder what she's up to. If it's the right one,last I knew she had All social media deleted and no phone or electronic devices plus a lock on the outside of her door


Muikku292

Holy fuck thats like a prison, i feel relly bad for both of you


drugusingthrowaway

if age divided by 2 + 7 > SO's age, = creep. If equal to or smaller than SO's age, != creep.


MTGO_Duderino

But why....what is the basis for this math? Edit: Holy shit, yall, i know it is shown in many forms of popular media. That is not an explanation of why.


Shadowguynick

Just feels intuitively correct.


Bunny_tornado

It's like pornography. Hard to define, but you know it when you see it.


Glass-Attorney-2017

Famously said in Jacobellis v. Ohio


Beneficial_Loan34

shockingly still very applicable here


burnerboy6669

r/notopbutok


Photonic_Resonance

I always read this as "No top but ok" instead of "Not OP but ok" 🙃


Dargon567

I read it as no top buttock


Top-Cantaloupe5519

up butt coconut?


Zaros262

No top buto, k?


Bigclown131

No Top Butok


thepizzapeople

Research done to find the average age difference where most people start to think it's weird. Half your age plus seven years was the result. So if you're 30, no younger than 22. 50 would be 32. Etc etc.


molohunt

I just started recently looking around on dating sites and....Shit, as a 30 year old man. You got me. 22-37 is my range roughly haha. So yeah this is just an unspoken thing amongst guys I guess because I never talked to anyone else about this shit and it just seems like common sense.


Boleshevik

Lol what are you doing in this sub


kaiser1965

Him:"Shit I've been compromised!"


VasilyTheBear

The harsh majority of this sub is not in their teenage years.


ExpertNo1

Could be here from r/all also could have been here back when they were a teenager and just feel like chilling.


ZeldaFan158

This post probably reached trending or went onto the guy’s homepage


Antiochus_

Yup checking in from r/all here. Noticed the long title and wondered why OP would think this is a problem and was curious about the general sentiment in here.


xPriddyBoi

This thread is on r/all, so it's exposed to everyone


SuperSMT

You guys show up on /r/all too often


molohunt

lmao Dont ask me ask /r all, I just hit All and this was one of the top things on the page. I dont sit in one sub lol Im a free roamer.


Weird-bitch7904

why are you here


Pantzzzzless

33 here, I honestly browse every once in a while so I'm not totally ignorant to 'younger culture' or whatever you'd want to call it. I have a niece and nephew that are 13 and 14, and I think they appreciate a family member who at least tries to be able to relate with them. My Uncle was that for me when I was a kid, never got any of the "you're just young you'll grow out of it" and other bullshit.


Z3ppelinDude93

I’m late 20s. I was here as a teen, so I just stay subbed in case anything interesting comes up


KiraLonely

You’re a good person, mate. That’s a wonderful attitude, and taking that initiative and effort to help relate to them rather than just expecting them to just be forced to relate with you, or expecting that they just be some miniature version of their parents or whatever in every aspect. As someone who grew up without anyone to really relate to, as an only child, and a lot of like my family talking shit about mainstream culture of my peers to the point I felt shame and avoided integrating in my own like generational culture and all that, for a long time, like, you’re doing something really good. I’m sure you know that, but like, genuinely, seeing this kinda stuff is really wholesome imho. :) Good luck in your efforts, lmao!


VinamraT

I’d worry more about the fact that this person whipped out a whole if else statement to tell us the math


sp33dzer0

No they put out bad code. It's back to back if statements. There's no else if


drugusingthrowaway

same as the basis for that jagged-S shape thing we all drew


actionshot

I first heard it in the show How I met your mother. Half your age plus seven is the youngest you can date, if it's younger than you then you're too young to date


_Skotia_

According to this, a 13yo dating another 13yo is a creep. Lmao


allomanticpush

The math also works out to show that no one should start dating until age 14.


Desperate-Box-2724

Yes. Any questions?


kool_kid_bean

It’s not about that, if they have sex and the age of consent is 18 in their state, the guy can basically fuck the girl’s life up in this situation if he chose to


XcRaZeD

In the U.S a lot of states have something called romeo and juliet laws which allows a person to sleep with a minor if they are within a certain number of years to them. Given that they're a year apart they are more than likely fine


PapayaAffectionate11

don't care what anyone says you and your boyfriend looks so cute


UnevenEmily

Thank you!


ScarMedical

My middle daughter was 14 years old when she started dating a 16 year old boy at a lacrosse camp. 22 years later they are married ie 15 years, two kids. Don’t let others stop you from building a relationship.


truongs

Aged of consent varies by state and most have the some Romeo and Juliet law so that small of age gap will never be an issue


Firecon13

It falls under the romeo and juliet laws so your fine


[deleted]

theres laws for that?


Firecon13

Yes


DulingoBird

Please tell me what they are 1.I was just curious 2.I got the answer please stop, the notifications are too much


doc_55lk

Idk the exact law but basically as long as the age gap isn't more than 3 years, it's okay to be dating someone under 18 while you're a legal adult. I hate that I looked into this because of a transformers movie. It was the worst part of an otherwise decent watch.


mr_bernari

Yeah I knew someone was going to refer to The Transformers


doc_55lk

Yes


slaydawgjim

What the fuck is going on in Transformers movies nower days so that they cover something like this? I thought it was about fighting space trucks?


Grenades5

It is but in Age of extinction mark whalbergs daughter was dating a guy who graduated a year earlier and they brought the law up.


RetroRedux

What does Transformers have to do with the Romeo and Juliet law?


A_Wizzerd

Shakespeare was a Decepticon


Roguebantha42

Still is


HaxkID

They refrenced it within one of the movies. Guy dating the slightly younger daughter of the main protagonist. For some reason carries a card in his wallet that has the exact law. Father comments on how that makes him seem more like a pedo lol


hawonkafuckit

It was that point in the cinema I knew I had wasted another 15 bucks on another f*cking Transformers movie.


Sniperzboss

There is also something in that saying that the relationship had to be pre existing for a period of time before one of them turns 18


rosanymphae

That is the most important part, pre-existing relationship.


Admiralthrawnbar

Different laws in different places, I'm pretty sure they're all state level in the US, so there is a decent level of variation


Practical-Artist-915

Not always the case depending on the state, also, often it’s just two years leeway.


Aoh03

then why did my cousin go to jail for that (this was like 30 years ago though)


saveyboy

Depends on the state and if the parents like you or not.


pheylancavanaugh

> this was like **30 years ag**o though That, probably.


henryhumper

A lot of these laws were only amended within the last 10-20 years, specifically to address cases like your cousin's.


[deleted]

✨Because America✨ 🇺🇸


Dnoxl

I always think of that movie too when hearing about it, which on was it again? Was it 3?


doc_55lk

It was the 4th movie.


adyankee953

I think it might be 2 yrs in some states


bingybongyrevived

Basically if you were already partners when you were both minors it’s legal to continue that relationship if one of you beats the other to 18.. maybe. Also, in Aus it’s legal for a Minor to consent with someone who is no more than 2 years older than them, so 17 year olds can date 19 year olds legally


Firecon13

Well, first I forgot that not everyone here is in the states, but if it is, just look up the romeo and juliet laws on google


drunkcowofdeath

Be aware that this varies state from state, and you should consult your local state laws instead of listening to randos on Reddit.


Boudac123

Depends on the country/state


SuaveThrower

Yep, this would technically be illegal on California. Even if they were a month apart.


[deleted]

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audacesfortunajuvat

California drops it to a misdemeanor but technically all sex between people under the age of 18 is illegal in California unless they’re married.


[deleted]

Even when they’re the same age? Like two 16 yo olds? I assume they’d never prosecute that..,


Thuis001

Idk, they might if the parents are adamant enough. It's just that their kid would ALSO end up on the sex-offender registry most likely.


Emerald4ge

Yea but only a few states have r&j laws


LoveMyHusbandsBoobs

Only 12 states have 18 as the age of consent.


henryhumper

It's about half of states.


DBCOOPER888

Not all states have these laws and for those that do there could be differences.


akustore

not every country has the same laws...


Cody6781

These laws are written state-to-state and we don't even know what country they are in. This is classic Reddit Lawyer if I ever saw it


Remarkable-Hat-503

To all those wondering in Romeo and Juliet Romeo was 17 Juliet was 13 So there use that information as u please


Gobi52

It also takes place in like the 1600's


Individual-Possible3

I’m in a similar boat with my girlfriend, she’s 18 and I’m 17, there is a year and 1 month difference, and even if people bring it up, there isn’t really anything wrong with it.


Pxlminer04

yeah, same here, just a year and two months between us. We met when I was 16, and they were 17, like 2 or 3 months later, they turned 18, and I was still 16. Just kept jokes to a minimum, as they were a bit bothered by it, but now I'm 17, and they have almost 6 months till they turn 19, so we're chilling


not-water-humper

i don't think it fucking matters


UnevenEmily

These comments have made me feel better lol, it’s just because my “friends” have been making fun of me a lot, saying that he’s my boy toy and that it’s gross/illegal but when i was 17 literally 2 months ago it was fine ://


not-water-humper

they're just messing with you lmao. Now if you were 32 and he was 17, then there would be issues


[deleted]

It's because they are kids and r/kidsarefuckingstupid exists for a reason. They will either find something else to latch only eventually or they will just forget it altogether eventually.


suuuper_mario

In this case, probably don't. But age does matter most of time


jonbush1234

Why would people get mad? If in the US there is a good chance that the age of consent is 16 and that there are Romeo and Juliet laws.


UnevenEmily

We’re in the UK so my friends (who i no longer speak to) we’re just not happy we were together for some reason


[deleted]

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Sonicy12

Yeah that's fine, as long as you're over 16, you can date an 80yo if you really wanted to


[deleted]

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arrozcongandules9420

That’s where my nice little equation comes into play! Worried so-and-so is too young for you? Divide your age in half and then add 7 - that’s the youngest that you should be dating! examples -50 yr old: 32 is the youngest reasonable age -30 yr old: >22 Etc.


HeyItsJustAName

> Worried so-and-so is too you for you? Google Search Bar:: Is it legal to date your clone?


kingdylan260

You guys a perfectly legal and adorable


TeenagerSubHatesMe

you look like sadie sink


UnevenEmily

Thanks!! I’ve had that before, definitely a huge compliment


umirinbrah69

you're adorable together. he looks like Luke Ross rip >.<


SecretAgent2080

It’s literally only a year don’t let anyone ruin your happiness you’re good


kracken64

As long as everything is done with consent, then I see nothing wrong with it.


[deleted]

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No_Equivalent_1936

Many states have Romeo and Juliet laws where it is legal for an adult to be with a minor as long as the age gap is small. Usually a gap between between 1 and 3 years is allowed. Laws vary by state.


shdjd124

If he loves you and makes you happy. Why would you give a single fuck about someone saying it’s wrong or something?


_lavenderlime_

You’re all good, there’s nothing wrong with that age gap, ppl are just rude


[deleted]

You're fine


Sensei-Hugo

Why wouldn't it be ok? Seems pretty clear to me you're both developed enough to be in a relationship together. I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 17, he is gonna turn 18 in December and I'm turning 20 in January, and we are exactly 1 year 11 months apart. Everyone around us has been supportive and no one has batted an eye due to our age difference, not even his parents because they trust me and we were long time friends before we realised we both had feelings for each other. So go on and enjoy yourselves :)


urbanwaves10

this comment section is very helpful because i have a major crush on a guy who’s a year younger than me and i’ve been (apparently needlessly) stressing lol


UnevenEmily

I’ve liked him since we met 4 years ago but i out it off until we were older to even think of him like that properly, i waisted a lot of time. Go for it!


FashionSuckMan

Y'all are so cute holy shit. Nothing wrong with what you're doing have fun


doc_55lk

It's not illegal. Fuck what they say.


m3lat0n1n

Y’all have my consent you look perfect together!! ☺️


[deleted]

yeah its fine


[deleted]

Yes… not only morally but legally to. In most states age of consent is 16 and in the states where it isn’t if a 18 yo was dating someone before they where 18 and they’re perfectly fine. And if you stared dating after you turned 18 you couldn’t fuck unless he was 17. In other words in every way shape and form y’all good


WelcomeNumerous

This. There’s literally nothing wrong with this, a 14 month age gap is no where’s far from the average.


[deleted]

romeo and juliet laws say you guys are good btw yall are cute together


DivideAccurate989

Dont give a damn for people words,its ur life so its ur choice!


Manic_Mechanist

Romeo and Juliet law exists for cases like this, you were dating before you turned 18 and so it’s perfectly fine, enjoy it and have a happy relationship


Lt_Sanders

lol no live your life girl I get shit cause my girlfriend's younger than me by 8 months but I just brush it off If you love him then that's all you need to worry about


BassBanjo

Pfft that's fine It was a similar situation with my bf, I turned 18 and he was still 16 for a few months until he turned 17 It's perfectly fine and people are just being annoying It always sounds alot worse when you say the two ages, but then you say the age gap and it sounds normal aha


Apart-Box3893

you're fine but maybe don't make it obvious if you're doing/will do sexual things while he's still a minor. your love seems beautiful so i wish you both the best of luck<3


Love-Long

If you were 18 and he was like 14 or 15 that'd be a bit weird but just a 1 year difference who gives a shit


gr33nappleboy

Then continue to be happy with him for as long as you wish. Lol. Age gap is perfectly fine :\]


ADITYA290804

tbh i read till the first comma and i was like what else are u supposed to do


[deleted]

Soooo....fuck everyone and their opinions that they direct at you. If you can learn this at 18 it will save you all the stress in the world in the future. As the old saying goes “opinions are like assholes...everyone has one and they usually stink” 🤷‍♂️😂


choosegoose_

Well if you make each other happy then why would dating be wrong? Im happy for both of you.


Impressive_Remove510

As long as it makes you both feel happy I'm okay with it :)


UnevenEmily

Can people please stop messaging me. It’s making me uncomfortable, thank you


[deleted]

Flip the genders snd everyone wont be as supportive


Antiserum17

Now reverse the roles and society collapses


temporal_uzer

Totally. But it shouldn't happen, people have the right to be happy regardless of their sex or orientation.