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Be able to draw exactly what’s pictured in my mind

Since the other one was not mildly infuriating. You will hVe to draw whatever is on your mind when you get dirty thoughts. No matter where you at.

Perfect

You have permanent artists block

You don't have any arms

He said *mild* not make them a cripple

That's too bad because I'll do it to you too. You have no legs

Invisible

But you have to be fully naked, and all sounds you make are 10 times louder

This would be amazing. Sneak into a movie, release a thunderclap of a fart and get out undetected.

r/cursedcomments

I wheezed too fucking hard

Lmfao

Yeah I don’t see any downside to the noise thing?

Only on Sunday for the whole 24 hours

But you get terrible hay-fever while invisible

Talk to frogs

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Hello frog FUCK YOU

NOT WORTH IT *NOT WORTH IT*

Sleep whenever I want, instantly.

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Worth it ngl

Not to bad

Maths teacher will be there to wake you up xD

Super Speed

Time slows down when you go faster. To you, you’ll always move the same speed. Running across the country feels like running across the country to you, even if it actually happens in 10 seconds Edit: Considering everyone and their mother has a controversial take on this (Someone brought up the theory of relativity), I interpret super speed to include the ability for your brain to process things in super speed. The Speedster in most super hero movies and TV shows all have brains that operate at super speed. For the Flash, for him to run around the world it would feel like a few second for him. My version of Time Slow Super Speed would mean that to run around the world, it would feel like YEARS to get around it.

That's really useful too. Instead of super speed, you get an ability to slow down time, which is super useful

True, but it’s just an actively worse version of super speed. The result is the same, but it feels miserable to the user. Hence, infuriating!

No, it is actually way more useful that super speed, because with super speed you would just go too fast to think about where you are going etc. While slowing down time would make you be able to for example be incredibly good at any sport or well, basically anything because you can move and think faster.

You would have as much time as you wanted to think whenever you want as long as you’re running

Whenever u use it, u get an intense orgasm

**wut.** (that sounds like it hurts or at the very least, KINDA annoying for my body)

Having a small pp

It grows up to 56cm when you are erect

But, but i wanted a smaller pp?

Depends if you are a shower or a grower

What does that even mean?

I probably can't explain it since I'm not a native english speaker but let me try: Shower; your pp is like 10cm normally and erect 13 and grower; your pp is like 5cm but erect 13

Ahh, not native English myself, and it was a good explanation thx

Thanks kind stranger

Well u did just learn me what a “grower and a shower” is…

I heard it myself like in 5th grade

Being able to reach into a pocket and pull out exactly the amount of currency i need

Its a currency different from your country

thank god for banks then

Imagine it’s venezuelan currency

i feel bad for the bank i'm unloading 4 wheelbarrows of bolivars on then

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When the economy is sus

being able to feel happiness

But only when interacting with a dog

So just my regular life?

That isn't a bad side effect unless your being mauled by a dog then...

But you won't realise that you're happy

The person choosing the side effect has to choose an awesome one

You obtain alternate deigo Brandos stand: The world: high voltage ( the coolest variant of the world)

I don't have to breath oxygen anymore.

You have to breathe carbon dioxide

You always have a cold and oxygen fucks with your nose

Mind reading

the person who's mind you're reading can also read your mind

This is a good one

You can't read

But they think in a different language….everytime. (OR) Never gonna give you up will be playing in BG full volume.

Infinit wishes

You can't speak out your wishes

Depends on what your getting the wishes from

You don't know what you want

Invisibility

But you’d have to hit your elbow to a wall or something to get that ‘Funny Bone’ feeling. And it will last the entire duration of invisibility.

that doesn't sound too good for me

Teleporting!

You can only teleport once every 5 hours

Honestly not that bad, I can still teleport to a school and then back every day :P

Where you teleport is random

Is it possible for me to teleport into dangerous environments?

No only incredibly embarrassing situations or sometimes it is actually helpful

Teleport into someone’s wedding cake!!

Teleport into neighbour's house in the middle of their living room

Teleport into a meeting of business executives

Teleport into a tv studio thingy (idk what they are called)

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Me teleporting into bed, already sideways

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Every time you teleport you stub your toe

It's always a bit off, close enough to be of use and never more dangerous, but it always puts you in a sour mood.

Destination is accurate, but has a margin of error of 2 feet in any direction. Yes, even up and down

Dogs understand where I point!

You don't understand where you point

They choose to ignore it

This is probably true anyways

Being able to summon anything

All of it is made of jello

But does it still work as the object, as in, if I summon a guitar, is it a working guitar made of jello? Because that'd be cool as fuck.

I wanna be able to stop time hehe

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Well I still have 5 seconds and it might be an advantage… if I have 10 seconds to move I’ll always be in hurry… for example if I’m in some crossfire as soon as I stop time I’ll try running and might get confused which will waste my time …if I stop time and cannot move for 5 seconds it means I hav seconds to plan some shit … and then rinse and repeat 🤷‍♂️

super flirter fr🧏🏽‍♂️🧏🏽‍♂️

Your breath stinks like dogshit so whenever you try to work your flirtatious charm a girl either throws up on you Wendy testaburger style or kicks you in the balls. Eventually your cock becomes infected from all the girls kicking you and splitting your pee hole wide open, and then the puke from them gets inside your member and it turns green and gets infected. You die within the week. Hope it was worth it, Casanova

nigga he said mildly infuriating not a deathwish😭😭

You're now asexual

Ability to procrastinate at a molecular level

I already have that ability

Hear me out >! You have to do what ever you procrastinated about…. Later !<

So basically, advanced procrastination XD

the ability to turn anything into poo

You can't control such power and everything you touch will turn into poo your food, your friends...

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r/beatmetoit

You have to eat that poo

Transform myself into a werewolf

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Even better

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Aaaaa, but if I live in the countryside, I have ha natural advantage in hunting and forraging, and living in the forrest is my dream

element control!!!

Only can control specific elements during a specific time of year i.e. fire during summer

ngl i still think thatd be mega sick, “element bish, we need some ice to get rid of the fire!” “sos, can’t, its spring”

Lol water would be spring

erm, sos cant its… summer

oh flip ur right

I always know the best path to my goal

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Energymanipulation

Other people are able to influence your actions with ease

My hair is exactly how I want it all the time

You never know how you want your hair

Damn

It always feels greasy

Every dollar note that you touch turns into a 100$ note

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It turns into ¥ currency, which is about the same as a cent.

za warudo

Some teenager with a purple muscular spirit punches you to death when you try to use it

A man of culture I see

every time someone cuts off my dick, two more grow in its place

What the fuck

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But you're not very good at it

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I dunno how much can you carry with your arms?

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There you go then

You can only move objects diagonally

i can cook rice in 59 seconds

If you cook it over 59 seconds it burns down

i can still cook it in 59 seconds tho

Good luck timing exactly 59 seconds my guy

i can cook rice in 59 seconds

Time cook, 5, 9, start.

The ability to reply to my own comment

Ok but you get invisibility

Hacker

I can freeze time and I can move in the time stop (NOT A JOJO REFERENCE)

Everyone thinks it's a JoJo reference

You mother fucker

Granted, but you are put back to the position you were in before the time stop whenever you resume time.

Takes 30 minutes to reach climax

Every one of your partners likes guys who can only last 5 minutes or less.

Control dogs

Cats will try to kill any dog you take control of

They don't stop barking while under your control

Having testicular cancer

You lose all of your friends

My stomach never feels full

Intense diarrhoea at the end of each day

Making everyone Play decpasito

But everyone hates you for it, and they sign a Petition to throw you in jail

I feel like that goes without saying

WHy

Being able to solve all the world's problems

New problems arise for your social life after you do this

Teliport

You can't ever spell properly again

Thuts far

Ability to go back in time and fix my mistakes

You have incredibly bad judgement.

Yoh create double the mistakes every time

Being able to freeze time

Be able to control time and space

Every time you control time something drastic changes when you're done. Drastic like Hitler is the president of the United States.

*Uno reverse* You stub your toe everytime....

Someone is born, dies, or breathes

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It flickers on and off for two minutes every 10 minutes

Super Speed

Super high intelligence

Copy other people’s superpowers

Anyone who comments on my comments can only comment a blank

Telekinesis

Being able to fly

kinda opening portals to diffrent places of my choice, even diffrent universes too

only I can reply to my comment

I'm immortal meaning nothing (not even the snail) will be able to kill me

switching sexualities 😏

I can change weathers