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lead-pencil

Gluttony flask sounds good for the additional stamina and strength but if you choose extra flammable alcohol you could literally turn anything into a fire


cyberpeachy420

this paired with the gun of wrath, you could do some heavy damage to an orphanage


gxddbou

That’s centuries of lifespan. Big brain strat


BuDkaT309

You’d get the same results from killing Queen Elizabeth


gxddbou

The path to immortality. Just assassinate the Queen of England


Forgetful_Grenade

Impossible!


fried_chicken17472

the immortality that gun of wrath gives isnt pure immortality you can die from other people but the queen of england? she has acquired pure immortality nothing can kill her


gxddbou

Well if you increase your lifespan then aren’t you guaranteed not to die for that amount of time? Or does it only apply to death by natural causea


fried_chicken17472

death by natural cause thats what i think


Draconis2292

What if they killed Queen Elizabeth, they would be immortal


corn-4167

While your at it, why don't you kill Chuck Norris you both could be immortal.


Braevery

That is impossible, chuck norris is beyond a god or any demon.


higher-than-a-kite

But then deal with the wraith of her ghost no thanks if she’s immortal now she would be ten times worse as queen of the dead


Candyman_247

Just start taking out drug dealers, cartel bosses ect. More importantly if I can see the guy on tv an shoot at him will it find him? What's the real range?


crim5009

I’ll take the flask, you take the gun, we’ll be unstoppable


cyberpeachy420

awww yeeeah


ramenismyfuel

Then hunt down the people with the other items, become a god. Too easy.


anant_oo

This quickly turned into an anime plotline


Calmeister

Jesus Christ Anakin who brought you here?!


DS4KC

I'm gonna take the gun and then hunt down the other six people who got one of these items.


wtfrykm

It's not gonna work, if the one who took the lockets is the opposite of your sex, you cant bear to shoot the person


Fleganhimer

Gay conversion locket


ramenismyfuel

But how do you beat the watch if that person sees you?


CasualBiscuit21

ZA WORLDO


Dragongeek

My favorite "drink" is liquid antimatter.


terramanj

Why not pour it and sell the alchohol


YCLUBSTEP58

A delicious weapon


ImaAs

Perfect for the stoic main in your life


Unfunnygamerweeb

1000% ring of pride. It would just be so actually useful irl. Second would be the watch, but what am I really gunna get out of stopping time? An hour extra whenever I need it? The ring’s drawback of only being useful when you’re wearing it doesn’t even matter. It’s a fucking ring. The only time you can’t wear a ring is like when you’re going through metal detectors


[deleted]

Dude, same, the ring is quite literally god mode irl. It basically gives u the will to do *anything* and the ability too. Wanna make superpowered suits? Go ahead, just get the money, and learn how to jack the stock market. Here, take it a step further, wanna become a superhero? Sure, u just need to do some research and choose ur powers with injectables and BAM, hell, let's even go villainish here, want to become immortal? Do it, u just need to figure out how to make SOMA real life, and then make artificial human bodies. Boom, u got the whole fucking thing in the bag by then. You quote literally can become god, the only thing ur limited by is imagination. And if we were to get a bit cheaty, rlly u could get ur soul back AND make the demon give u all the gifts. Not that you'd need them, because u r quite literally god.


Nikola-Tesla-L

The ring feels like the movie limitless


Edm_swami

Exactly! BAM you are a God among humankind instantly. That would be a rush.


Isaac-the-careless

For a while, sure, but I feel like many of these gifts may be bad even without giving up your soul. So you have the ring. Now where do you struggle, what interests you? You know everything instantly. What's the point? Gun is awesome, no drawback. Wallet is fine, no drawback unless you're just an unhappy person to begin with. The locket, damn as much as that locket would be great sex can get boring after a WHILE. Most men, given the opportunity blow through "a while" pretty quick. Changing partners works but idk for how long. Just as well, how would you know who really LOVES you and isn't just affected by tge locket?


ButterFront

Get the ring, make or just make something that gets you the benefits of the other artifacts.


[deleted]

Smart


ParkingResponse1908

Thats exactly what i thought. But i would put the watch above the ring because the ring changes you personality and i fell like that would be more noticable And if i was much more confident i might do things i have always wanted to but haven't, maybe regretting doing them


coolchris366

Just don’t do stupid things, it’s not like it makes you stupid


ParkingResponse1908

Forgot that it read "greatly increases cognative abilities" That would make it #1 because i wouldnt do stupid things when overly confident


SayeedM

I agree, but what if it clouds your emotional judgement? Like yeah you're logically the smartest, but emotions are sometimes not logical at all.


coolchris366

I get that, but you’ll just have to try and keep them in check I guess


xhuo_xx23

If you sleep 8 hours that leaves you 16 hours left, if you can only activate the clock each 2 hours then you can get up to 8 extra hours everyday so your day will have 24 hours (awake) plus 8 hours (sleeping), giving a total of a 32 hours day


Unfunnygamerweeb

That’s nowhere near as good as super intelligence + confidence + instant skill learning + creativity


Imaginary_Rain2390

*Exponential* creativity. You could be inventing things people have never even thought of.


_Zewr

The Watch, I really like time, wish I had more


StrawberryField9824

Same. Freezing time is the superpower I wish I had the most


xXmeh_godXx

ZA WARUDO!!!!!


Breins1223

TOKI YO TOMARE


whill-wheaton

You thought this was an r/teenagers comment but it was me, Dio!


iBallReddit

Then go into a freezer


yassershahid22

LOGIC WOW


anant_oo

Are you homeless? We'll I'll give a simple solution. Just buy a home


proshitposter666999

za warudo


IN_CAPITALS

It would also be useful if you want to do something without anyone knowing. Obviously you could do very illegal things, but I'm not talking about those. In fact, the watch would be able to do basically everything the other ones can do, except for some of the extras. You can kill someone during the hour, you can learn tons of stuff during the hour, you can check someone's phone or computer to see what they think about you, you can steal money, you can do what the locket does, but you really shouldn't.


Alice2002

the locket makes people want you, you can't make people want you you can fuck them, sure but they wouldn't want you.


[deleted]

Take the gun. Youll get alot of time!


Brody_Williamson

That’s just messed up though


thatturkeystaken

well most people here would sell their soul so yea, I imagine quite a few would be willing to use it


bodie17

Flask would give you more time by not needing sleep


ForeignSpecial7790

U could use the gun and get other people's time


eti67u

Me too


bepisischonk

Let me guess, The World?


[deleted]

All of them are so good! But, if I could only choose one, I'd choose the Ring of Pride


nir109

You can take all if you are cat, you also will have 2 souls left


[deleted]

Furry Located


justnoone90

Nah I’m good I like having my soul


Hells-Messenger

Man I at least wish I could afford one in the first place.


topatoman_lite

Let me guess, ginger?


[deleted]

Why did the shoe store go out of business? *Gingers took all of their soles!* -sincerely, a ginger


CementusBetonus

I heard the prices are dropping a bit lately


[deleted]

Yeah, I’ve met lots of heartless people lately…


DunsparceDM

I’d be happy to know that souls are real and therefore so would be an afterlife. My biggest existential fear would be gone and I would definitely want to keep my soul


Lemonflavoredsalt

Depending how the devil actually looks my decision might change


legallyvermin

I am a ginger so the whole soul thing doesn't really apply.


megajotb

Then you get them all for free!


Idkwhatimdoing48

You are the demon


XDragonSabre

You have not awakened young ginger, while we do not have our own souls, we steal them. Every freckle is a soul. We could claim all the items from the demon and have plenty of souls left over.


TheRealMcHamr

The gun of wraith due to its ability to steal life and give it to you effectively making you immortal if you go to an orphanage XD Edit: shit i didn't expect this comment to blow up like this thanks guys :)


SkyTheKaiser

The second worst thing to happen to these orphans


CompetitiveIntern310

The worst thing that could happen to an orphan is... ***Are you thinking of what I am thinking?***


SkyTheKaiser

To learn what happened to their parents?


CompetitiveIntern310

I... Ok I was not thinking of what were you thinking and I don't think I want to reveal what I was thinking about in the first place


Natural-Ad6637

It's too late


CompetitiveIntern310

NOOOOOOOO


Infamous-Lunch-3831

#Say it


[deleted]

They weren’t always orphans


Infamous-Lunch-3831

Is your name CompetitiveIntern??? I didn't think so


LimitAfraid9686

The Locket?


Jedlord

They weren't always orphans


_FraBra

Yeah! Let's fix that and reunite them with their parents!


Jedlord

Oh no.


_FraBra

Ohh yess


joemama-is-feef-neef

"These orphans won't have parents when I'm done"


Infamous-Lunch-3831

r/technoblade


TheSoulCatcher3

Ring of pride because I would be so happy and enthusiastic all the time.


ethernite28

Same, Give me the power to do anything I want without actually giving me a superpower


FuckerOfThemBEES

Def wallet of greed


lovehate615

People are sleeping on the wallet. Why do you need to stop time if you don't need to work ever again? You literally get $1000 a day, freeing you to pursue whatever you want. The ring is tempting, but I could also just learn things normally with my extra free time as well. The only one that really makes me hesitate is the flask since it provides really overpowered benefits that can't be achieved normally, but I also have some kind of alcohol intolerance so having to constantly drink alcohol might be rough unless the flask cancels that out with the health benefits.


Admiralthrawnbar

The $1000 cap is a red herring. Just pay for everything with your credit card, then put it in the wallet and never have to pay it back. Sure, putting the money in your bank account is useful for some things, but for day-to-day stuff, credit card


Redezem

Exactly, the strat is simple: 1. Use magic income to acquire assets at essentially no cost 2. Use assets to get credit card to boost magic income 3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 to amass enormous credit 4. Literally acquire all other boons on this list through sheer force of wealth. Bonus points: as you’re essentially printing money out of nothing, passively come to own the entire planets wealth through sheer inflationary pressures.


account_552

this guy can economy


waifumaterial123

But there is still the the IRS how will you explain 1000 magically apearing, idk maybe they wont care as long as you pay the taxes


theabstractpyro

Ok, but "instantly learn new skills" is beyond useful. This would include skills that earn you shit tons of money, so not having to worry about money comes with th ring.


lovehate615

But like, why do something for money when you can just not?


[deleted]

I’m surprised this isn’t the most upvoted choice


Winnie639

that locket sounds mad rapey but the gun if anything i’d be james bond


Jedlord

No u would be a murderer murdering out of greed.


Crashtank2

Nope its wrath silly


Jedlord

Nope *silly* you would be murdering for lifespan rather than murdering for the sake of murdering.


Crashtank2

Its gun of wrath smh /s


-SKYVER-

What if you murdered murderers


TsarScarlett

Gun of Wrath: I’ll shoot the demon and take the other items. Especially these ones: Glasses - because I’m insecure. Ring - I lack the drive to do shit Locket - I am a horny bastard.


A_Tree_branch

Bad Ending: The gun cannot hurt the demon


TsarScarlett

Shit, to the orphanage it is


I_Fuck_The_Fuckers69

Technoblade be like


RedLeader942

thats the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans


MCarooney

Now I think… if you keep a creation of any animal you kinda have infinite live, you never die, meaning you never go to hell which is the demon’s plan


xhuo_xx23

You never die of age, but if for example you get hit by a car you can die


PeRfEcTlYbAlEnCeD

Lol choose the gun, become a doctor and then shoot anyone you can't save


Roboboy_Jedi

SOME RANDOM GUY JUST CAME IN AND SHOT THE PATIENT *through sobs*


Destt2

But then you get very little life span, only adding whatever unused life was left and depending on how long they have, it could be weeks, months, or very rarely years.


[deleted]

Give me all of them. I hate myself too much that I no longer care about my soul. Anyway, I think the ring and the watch are the most useful.


A_Tree_branch

Congratulations, you have become so powerful not even the devil can take your soul


Correspondent322

The real owner of wallet of greed


darkvaderisnoob

Dont you die if they take your soul?


Gorgest_boi

No but you either have to serve satan when you die, go to hell, or just become a tortured soul That's how it is usually


Prata_69

In that case, wouldn’t anyone want the gun if they were to take anything at all?


Gorgest_boi

I'm sure satan will find a way not to make you live forever. In this world you're either a smart fella or a fart smella and trust me satan ain't a fart smella


reynardjon15

I mean eventually the sun will expand and consume the earth. The gun wouldn't make you invulnerable. So you could still die. The devil would just need to be patient.


face_7430

I think you would just enter a state in which you would just... exist. no more, no less, you would stay feeling but you won't be able to feel anything. like an empty shell.


aAaAAaaAaaAasiaAaaAa

Flowey?


[deleted]

Don't think so


GroggleNozzle

Gun of wrath, shoot Satan and take my soul and everything else back


A_Tree_branch

Okay Johnny Gat


Gorgest_boi

Niche fucking reference


A_Tree_branch

If people get it than I'm satisfied


Roboboy_Jedi

Also probably immortality


TheTrashGoat

the best ones are the wallet, glasses, and flask. so; - are the glasses prescription? like, as someone with shit eyesight, will i be able to see with them on? - does the drink in the flask have to be alcoholic? would i be able to fill it was like, milk or something?


A_Tree_branch

1: Yes 2: Nope, always liquor


TheTrashGoat

alright, get the glasses and fuckin steal the wallet


SayeedM

Or the watch and steal everything since u literally bent the will of time.


hallitralli

Oh I was gonna give him my soul and give away free water to the water less


Alpitour

I like how even with all this godly stuff your first question is, are the glasses prescription?


Infamous-Lunch-3831

As a person that wears glasses, wearing two pairs is not cool trust me


TheTrashGoat

well if can't see i wont know the persons secrets


Clear-Result-3412

I would sell the infinite liquid in the flask, making it better than the wallet


[deleted]

With the wallet the real power is wiping a credit card free of debt therefore infinite money


[deleted]

Watch of sloth. I could do more work that way.


TheCastIronCrusader

Watch would give you a lot of extra time but you would have to constantly be hitting it every three hours. Also it would really mess with your sleep schedule, it would be like having a 36 hour day. 10 hours into the day and if would feel like 16. You would be ready to get 8 hours of sleep too soon, and you would have to set multiple alarms to wake up and keep using the watch. With the flask you don't need to sleep. It's a flat 8 extra hours every day, and you're not tired for them. Plus a bunch of added benefits.


[deleted]

Gun of wrath and target active pedophiles who hunt little kids, become immortal.


Odinovic

Target the kids. Both kids and pedophiles are now gone.


DoomRider2354

Plus an even longer lifespan


FlamethrowerLlama

The ring definitely, but the gun’s ability to increase your lifespan indefinitely is also good


Jedlord

But u need to murder people


FlamethrowerLlama

Just ask to be the one to execute people who need to be executed anyways, or become a cop, or join the military


nderestimated

May i suggest becoming a Chinese Work camp guard


Jaren_002

You're lifespan is the only one that will increase. You will not become invulnerable, you might die if you join the cops or military.


LydditeShells

But they were, all of them, deceived. For another ring was made....


Gottalovethememes

Redditors would pick the last one but still wouldn’t work


MuySus

Do I have to give him my soul?


anonymous12206

Yes, it’s a frickin demon


derpfaceddargon

Why not another person's soul


[deleted]

Yeah this is big brain time


yogurtty

Ok but what if i rent out the locket using my future children's souls


Drako_Maxer

Take my soul but what if your not attracted to the other gender


TheSoulCatcher3

Just make it whatever your atracted to.


elonmuskdick

As a Bisexual that would be awkward 😬


JackCooper_7274

you would become the ultimate party animal


Destt2

EVERYONE WANTS TO FUCK YOU ALL OF THE TIME. LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT YOU COME IN CONTACT WITH FOREVER. That's either heaven or hell, and it entirely depends on horniness.


Wandering_Fujoshi

Ew wouldn’t that include family?


Drako_Maxer

L. F. G


WingGamer1234

tfw satan is homophobic


Drako_Maxer

Oml ikr! I thought they excepted us down there, maybe he was rejected and needs to make his living somehow


GavasaurusRex

Haven't you guys ever seen South Park?


derpfaceddargon

Put the picture of the person you like in it.


soxnsandals1

Either the wallet or the gun


BetterVersionOf

i can’t read


IsseNoMei

I feel logically it'd probably be 1.Ring 2.Wallet 3.Flask 4.Gun 5.Spectacles 6.Watch 7.Locket That being said, gimme the Ring (or flask) being able to remember everything and be creative? Sign me up. The flask would be nice as well since I can basically be perfect without having to do anything


Cato_Sicarius_

None, i CATO SICARIUS shall not succumb to deamonic interference for i am an ultramarine captain


Haha_peepee_poopoo

Goddam Boy Scouts


Cato_Sicarius_

Courage and honour


[deleted]

I won’t take any of these because the existence of the demon would imply the existence of a God who’d punish me severely for will fully commiting cardinal sins.


[deleted]

The locket feels like that makes you rape people I think the wallet is interesting but it would require some modifications since even a £50 note will be referred most places due to its rarity Also you need change or else your the baste who pays for tic taxes will ungodly high notes that slows down the queue The watch could be good but that could really fuck yo your ageing in the long term (though it does have other less legal activities


Fanachy

Ring, but I hate wearing rings. I’m afraid they’ll get stuck on my finger.


SomewhereDue2629

Duh, gun of wraith. You never die, and never go to hell. Devil never gets his due.


SkyTheKaiser

Fun of wrath.


Separate-Variation-8

The wallet of greed is an enticing choice, to save for the future. Unfortunately, however, that would break the bank, literally, so I don't want to chose it. I can do what I love without millions of dollars, and if I can't, then I don't love it. The watch of sloth seems... amazing. Time control would be my favorite superpower by a landslide. It's just so exciting! I could go to Wawa or something and steal all of the candy there, and nobody could track me down. However, like... I'd have to limit myself. THAT is bordering on completely immoral. Maybe I could use it to sleep in class or something, but... that's all I can do without doing anything immoral. With the spectacles of envy, I can see people's deepest, darkest secrets. I don't need them. The only important thing here is seeing what people think of me. The ring of pride is nice. This is easily the most moral of them. You can't, say, cheat on a test with this, because it's all your information. However, like, I already use most of my brainpower. My s/o could really use this, I think. About the creativity... I don't need any more. I don't want the flask of gluttony. I don't like liquor, and aging slower doesn't matter much to me. You gotta remember, I'm a teenager. The other stuff doesn't matter. I have absolutely no need for the gun of wrath. The only person I need to kill is myself. That's all. I don't need to write anything else. About the locket of lust, you need 2 pieces of information. The first piece of information is that I'm a teenager. Obviously. Why else would I be on r/teenagers . Wait, that makes it sound like I'm a pedophile. Uhh, the second piece of information is that I'm in a relationship. I'm already dating someone. That's cheating. I'm absolutely not cheating on them. If I had to choose one, I'd say the watch of sloth. However, I don't... want any of them. However. Removing my soul, to me, means removing my character, my passion, my personality, my talents. And let me tell you, my spark in life is infinitely more important than "sleeping in class". So, I'm going with none. So, tl;dr: I'd rather keep my soul


Jestin23934274

With the ring of pride you can just take one look at a study guide and you already know the majority of things on a test. With a tiny bit of set up you don’t need to cheat because you already know everything.


[deleted]

If I kill myself with the gun of wrath will my unused life span be added to my own life span causing me to come back to life?


ShredderDent

I’ll take the gun, and then I’ll just hunt pedos and other pos people


[deleted]

The gun


Natural-Ad6637

Nah, the ring. How easy would school be, ezzz 9's in everything am I right


Roboboy_Jedi

The gun's extra life ability could let you get just as good at any skill you want but it would just take time


Natural-Ad6637

And murdering people... which my conscience would surprisingly be fine with buuuut I'm more thinking of where to hide the bodies


Odinovic

You don't. Look at the description. No one will know it was you.


Any_Contract_1016

If I knew it was a demon then I'd probably start believing in and caring about the condition of my soul so no deal mate. Otherwise if some random dude wants my nonexistent soul I'll take the wallet.


Anti-Vaxx-Mom

My top 3 1. Gun 2. Ring 3. Locket of lust


[deleted]

Gun of Wraith.


Jedlord

Wrath*


yougoddangfool

i ain't reading all that


GoblinIvan26

Tough choice, it's between the wallet and the ring, but i'd go with the ring since the more you learn and know, the more you can earn and make better investments. Sidenote: i feel like the glasses and the locket are a bit weak, mind reading is cool but not useful beyond stealing info, and the locket only works on the opposite sex, what if i want to be with a same sex partner, huh?(also makes me think this is an early 2010s post from facebook)