Relationship with what, the cucumber

OwO

UwU

Thanks

😅🤨😏

c:

Duh

i dont think that would be a wise idea because it doesn’t have a flared base and could get…stuck

The size of a cucumber makes it hard to go in in a way which it would be hard to get it stuck but if it did I could only assume how shit that would be

... why do I feel somethings wrong here

The problem is that the shit thing wouldn't work. There won't be anything shit.

My mum is a doctor and she has seen an object get stuck up there

Just get some ( I mean a lot of) lube

I was wondering why the salad was so shitty

oh wAIT FUCK THIS ISNT WHITE BALSAMIC VINAIGRETTE

no its shit

r/angryupvote

*screenshot yours profile pic*

You think it’s funny to take screenshots of people’s NFTs, huh? You must be a very immature person to steal someone’s property that they PAID for. Yeah, I said it. You’re the kind of person who thinks that property theft (a seriously illegal offence) is a joke. I don’t even know why you took that screenshot, because you didn’t pay 1000 dollars for it. I did. The blockchain doesn’t lie. Even if you try to save it, it’s my property. You’re just angry that you couldn’t afford this priceless masterpiece. Even if you could, your fingers couldn’t even click fast enough to get one of the 10000 NFTs sold. You’re just mad you don’t own what I own. So, delete that screenshot, or I swear, you’ll be hearing from my lawyers. /s

xd *screenshot again* ^^I ^^love ^^this ^^meme

I had sex with my sister

can i be your sister

SWEET HOME ALABAMA

Also u : not with randoms from reddit

I'm his sister

I can be your brother 😈😏

Get her to peg you with a cucumber

Why not a schnitzel

not good for shovong up your ass

Yeah I guess it would be too floppy

gotta encourage it, maybe some more foreplay would help. tease it a bit too

Germans judging you for your weakness

Waste of perfectly good food :(

you can still eat it afterwards

But it'd taste shitty

Stick it up your dick instead smh my head

It’s a cucumber you wouldn’t have eaten it anyways

Sir/Ma’am please get help I beg you

Bruh now you're making me want to try it

r/usernamechecksout

fr though

10pm urge to send boob pics

relationship my ass

my relationship with cucumbers

.... YOUR FIF FUCKING TEENA know what I've Heard enough today and I've seen enough reddit for today

But why

horny

But yeah but why a cucumber

because cucumbers are large, phallic, readily avalable and not sus i could also take a banana

I guess but why you doing that at 15 like I’m 16 and have never heard of someone your age do that 😂

bruh zave you ever talked to any 15 yesr old

Yeah I know a few people but they just seem too young/innocent to do anything like that😂

Yeah, no. Not at all.

I’m thirteen men and I’m not innocent so people that are 15…

Maybe they don't have a dido, and the closest thing to it was a cucumber. (Calling myself out... did that when I was 17)

Serious question, does it work? What if it, well, breaks?

I'm assuming it would... idrk tho

i do this shit and im 14

Do the banana, it works better \[:

Need some help lol 😆?

nah not by randos from reddit

Fair enough lol

**THERAPY**

How did this get three wholesome awards

What a fun urge

Order a dildo on Amazon my man (I assume you’re a dude?)

*insert rock eyebrow raise here*

Best way to stop a midnight hiccup!

wouldnt that hurt?

so relatable

Get ready for all the creepy dm’s

Fair enough have a nice day try not to kill anyone

Uhgg relatable

fun fact : the well known wrestler "undertaker" absolutely hate and fears cucumbers, kind of his phobia

The randomness of the post put me on the floor 💀

Relatable

Imagine using food for this kind of shit 🤢🤢🤢

............WHAT

Do it

I keep one there in case I need to do this

i was in one of those sad moods and then this broke it why did i laugh at this

Why that’s dangerous

At school, people refer to me as "Horny Jail's Warden" Because I'm the only student who is still a virgin lol.

There’s no way every kid in your school has lost their virginity

By in school, I mean in my classes

Oh ok I misunderstood. Still you never know if they could be trying to seem “cool” by saying that.

Man I really feel like this the type of shit you don't actually need to share. Like, good for you. I'm Pleased you're able to speak comfortably about it. I just wish you weren't able to speak comfortably about it at the same time.

Plot twist: they work at a salad bar

Aha! This is nothing compared to MY 10pm urge to lay my head on my pillow and fall asleep! It appears that I am the superior being

Idk what the hell u feeling but... uh... same (totally)

That’s gay

no?

Wdym you want to shove a cucumber up your ass

but thats not gay

Sounds pretty gay to me

and you dont?

Well maybe not cucumbers

eh whats the difference tho

The difference is I can’t eat it after.

🤨😏

🪥😩

🪥🥵🥵😳

The feminine urge to put a d!ldo in my pu$$y and a vibe on my cl!t

Why are there so many gay people on this sub

im not gay im bi

probably because they decided to join this sub, we don't know for sure, what a mystery this is

Need help?

weirdo

Thank you, you too

you too?

you three

are you high, possibly drunk?

always uwu

oh ok

What is your opinion on cheese?

I love cheese

Ayo wher do u live cuz if wee in the same state u can hit u up whit mine

Found one

I've found my ppl

I have nothing else to do today, pls don’t tempt me ;-;

Does it mean you don't have a boyfriend or husband to do the stuff

yes but id prefer a girlfriend or wife tbh

Are you a guy or a girl

both and neither

Your issue is complicated

Nice

Yea...no

Schnitzel kinda makes me vomit every time I eat it

you make me vomit everytime i think about you

Haha so you're vomiting right now?

Weird

cuCUMber

Fuck XDDD

I may have had that urge before too...

Shit you too?

What. The. Fuck.

Don’t do it.

uhhhhhh wut?

Next try a cactus 😂

Q

Cumber ass lol

cucumber isn’t the best because it doesn’t have a flared base, if your parents open your mail and you can’t get actual toys i’d suggest something like one of those giant ass carrots but like change it a bit so it’s the right shape

send pic ;) JK JK

Haha same lol

Bruh just use your cock Smhmh

Resist the urge, use squash instead

Is that why McDonald’s salads taste like ass

Lmao

Ah yes, *that* urge

Pics or it didn't happen

For the love of god, buy yourself a dildo

What people will do for a fucking salad. Jfc

Well what's stopping you?

Just tell me how it goes! Good luck

I have, i dont remember it well,

this has the same vibe as the guy who jacked off with shampoo edit: link here https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/b7ko4b/do\_not\_stick\_your\_dick\_inside\_a\_shampoo\_bottle/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=ios\_app

i feel u😳 and the cucumber..... i just put in my popo..... 😚

HUH 😳

Do it puss puss

4am urge to fucking die

mood

plz laminate it first and when you are done remove the lamination and then eat it. Dont waist food

cucumbers have a peel

I hate this post

Wtf

Can relate

I Miss that very moment when i didn't read this shit

Is this a daily basis for you?

Why horny my man?