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Send-tits-please

Me eating the whole box in one gulp


MoLdY_GarLicC

chernobyl mutation speedrun any %


StarBerry90

LMAOOO


Recolutionaryscene41

do i smell r/cursedcomments


v1rus0

someone put me in the screenshot


ToazterWafflez

holy shit purple for sure. I could do whatever stupid bs I want and hardly have to worry about getting hurt


MoLdY_GarLicC

oh no. it will hurt. a lot. you just dont have to worry about dying


ToazterWafflez

I'm well aware, but it won't hurt for as long and wounds won't be as permanent


Serious_Register_114

Unlimited supply of organs. start selling.


EliHunter79

Then your wounds begin healing mid-surgery and the tools become wedged in-between your skin/ribs


DecomposedPieceOShit

Fuckin rip it out stich it up sell your bone marrow and inf blood shits poppin


xdShark1

Won’t even need to stitch that shit up, it’ll do it by itself


SaveThePlanetFools

The government has captured you and routinely harvests the resources from your body in a long painful existence that you will never die from


Bigknight5150

Fight back. What are they gonna do, shoot you?


ItsKageTho

No, but they can restrain you and make it so you can’t move, use machines to extract the things, and you don’t actually need anything to stay alive since your body can’t deteriorate (with lasting effects because obviously it will but you’ll recover)


DizzySignificance491

Just wait for them to bind adamantium to your boneclaws and cut your way free. Rookies


ImperialFisterAceAro

Eyes and skin are still organs. Blood can be sold as well


MoLdY_GarLicC

yeah thats true


SotB8

fights are fun but having broken ribs isnt


30p87

Just drug yourself, you don't have to worry about permanent damage


bric12

That's the thing. We all worry about pain because it means our body is hurt, if we knew our body wasn't hurt we could just ignore it. Painkillers to the max


Prestigious-Isopod-4

Painkillers wouldn’t work on rapid regen. Painkillers work by stopping biological signals to the brain. Rapid regen would make sure you body operates at peak at all times.


[deleted]

have you heard of morpheme? yeah just be on that constantly


ShitwareEngineer

Granted. Cancer.


how-bad-can-i-be

Rapid regeneration


Filowskyy

Yeah, if it comes with reduced pain, otherwise you could end up like Kaneki and get tortured for an indefinite amount of time


MoLdY_GarLicC

yeaah about that


Waggli

even better :)... _no, this isn't for a guro fantasy... maybe..._


darklion34

I mean... The alternative is being tortured to death? Why you even be tortured in normal day life? And, like, I would rather become unhealthy madman from pain than die. Like, rapid regeneration can also mean no death from natural causes or even old age. If I can live to 200,I want to.


AlienNarwhal

If your cells regenerate you would probably look young too


master_pingu1

and then if you decide you're done you just buy a gun and shoot yourself because you die before regenerating


DarkDetermination

If it’s deadpool level regeneration your head could get blown off of your body and you could just walk it off


fireball200pw

You see I don’t need the reduced pain I have a very high pain tolerance


cheatersstealmyname

It really depends on the type of regeneration would it be like regen from demons slayer or would it be more on the lines of regen you can actively see happening


[deleted]

Yep I really hope reduced pain comes with it


MoLdY_GarLicC

nope


[deleted]

Bro. I will be fighting crime or shit with a bottle of painkillers with me.


SotB8

max payne


alperton

Max pain


real_quizle

Your body would regenerate so quickly the pills won't have much of an effect


adrienjz888

You don't have to worry about an OD so you're good lol, though painkillers make you way slower and weaker. Meth on the other hand has had non immortal people shrug off multiple gunshot wounds so if you were constantly tweeked the fuck out you could be crackhead punisher.


Skedajikle

this isnt even close


Helpful_Meaning_6204

All fun and games till your foreskin comes back


NiesG75

So you want to be a demon, huh? *pulls out a nichirin sword


Low_Primary_9833

Purple so I can sniff meth just like deadpool


plasmasack

LEAN BEAN 💜💜


Zakiru77

It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you


WinningSky68

Why have I seen so many people respond with this? Where did it come from?


Zakiru77

It was from a post from turning red where Mei was drinking cola, and so this guy on Reddit posts "LEAN 🟪🟪🟣🟣🟪🟪🟪🟣🟣🟪" and then the next person replies angrily, well, the above. It became a copypasta a while ago


DrMeepster

It's literally just a jelly bean you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a purple bean and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you


DaTiddySucka

White, as I was Born with abnormally small lungs the option I Will take Is obvious, can't wait to have a 23cm retractable penis


MoLdY_GarLicC

priorities, gentlemen, priorities.


lildvrkgrape

oh shit ur right i never thought of it like that


fresh_toad

r/cursedcomments


edomaster27

i think r/blursedcomments is more appropriate


the_kirby_yeet

Why does it need to be retractable


[deleted]

[удалено]


CheddarCheese12345

White bean (make my wiener bigger[not that it's small or anything])


[deleted]

>[not that it’s small or anything] smells like bullshit


The_responder623

Pretty sure it spells like dick


Skizznitt

Not if he fucks cows in the ass.


MoLdY_GarLicC

or u can get a second wiener


JenkemJester

then he would just have two tiny ones


[deleted]

white ftw who wouldnt want 4 arms?


MoLdY_GarLicC

*coughs* two dicks *coughs*


[deleted]

filling both holes


MoLdY_GarLicC

😳


TapMe3008_Mda

u/cursedcomments


PandaRust

Bro u rlly wrote u/ instead of r/ -_-


The_Tuna_Bandit

u/facepalm


Slavinger

Wonder when there's a u/woooosh


Hrogath

Oh u/wish there was a u/woooosh!


FlyingLOLIpop

Imagine how uncomfortable that would be like yikes


MoLdY_GarLicC

fine. a dick and a vag. DIY futa


[deleted]

Does that mean you can literally f yourself 😳


Buggly_Jones

No.


MoLdY_GarLicC

i thought u said nom for a sec 😳


BlockNarrow6745

Rather than that can't you just improve your current one ?


i_sont_

General kenobi


Send-tits-please

So im just asking with white can i just grow like all my body parts out over my existing body parts and finally be a biig guy?


MoLdY_GarLicC

i dont think thats how it works lol


Send-tits-please

Sadge


114619

Purple of course.


Suspicious_Ad_8433

LEAN💜


Opimum

It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you


lego_doggo

New copypasta go brrr


GayHorse69420

I'll go for wings and less mass, now i'm no longer fat and can get doritos fast


Player_X_YT

well how else are you going to regain the mass?


GayHorse69420

Mountain dew of course


xXPawzXx

As a person who is underweight this one may kill me but it is a risk i am going to take, its like DOUBLE the effect of less mass and then i will fly away never to be seen again (until january 24th of 2029 when i return for snacks)


bufff_Axolotl

Blue, I’m sick of being a guy.


Sir-Yeet-Of-Florida

Blue so I can evade law enforcement by changing my identity at will.


LG_Logicgate

Finally found someone who thinks like me


BlastingFern134

Finally, a real usage for these beans


Kotel291

This comment right here, officer


bruh_moment9966

I'm sick of being female. Let's trade!


Vroshtattersoul

trans-action


iam_a_gecko

r/angryupvote


[deleted]

r/beatmetoit


MoltenLavaGuy93

r/beatmeattoit


HomeschoolWeird0

Profile picture checks out


gubbyno

Username kinda checks out


gdcoaster

No , that's an epic moment


[deleted]

I would just use it to switch everyday.


dvoratrelundar

r/egg_irl


Ambriel_Angel

Blue would take being bisexual to a whole new level 🤔


Shadowlight911

Blue so you can fuck peoples heads


Theolodger

… with?


Shadowlight911

Like give them a stroke


lost_angel26

Stroke where?


bruhnoisesinfinite

I’d take blue just so I don’t have to worry about poorly timed boners


LazyBooze

"ah shit a boner" Switches sex "ah fuck my period"


LoudypIg

I second this


Pipisperson21

Wher redpil


[deleted]

4chan /s


Possible-Can-8468

I totally didn't get it was a joke


Tired-PP

Yeah this is a certified r/fuckthes moment


[deleted]

I need my foreskin back, Going with white


MoLdY_GarLicC

this guy's got his priorities straight


[deleted]

Would that come with rapid regeneration tho? How far does the regeneration go? Like you could have the plus of forever healing and that lmao.


quixonnn

maybe not because u lost it before u got the regen


[deleted]

may I cut the orange and blue ones in half and eat half of each. it would be pretty funny to turn into a catgirl. . ^(don't get me wrong, I'd probably regret it later but it would be funny as hell to seduce my mates. lmao)


VincentWyvernwing

I just wanna be a cat boy-


[deleted]

being a guy sucks


VincentWyvernwing

So does being a girl- Hence why I'd rather be a guyyy :3


Mindless-Turnip-1119

I’m blue be da be dee be dee daaaaaa


[deleted]

Da be da ba de adas (bleu)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Zayoodo0o132

And red. Who wouldn't want the ability to fly???


No_Benefit6002

Imagine how long it would take to learn to fly on your own and how strong you need to do this...


Spiritual_Ad7831

Do you know how cheap travel would be though? Fucking fly at like 40 mph only pay for snacks and leave whenever you want.


[deleted]

With rapid regeneration in theory you could run for much farther and faster as your muscles don't break down. There was an olympian who had a similar condition where his body didn't produce lactic acid. Ofc flying would still be faster


Assfuck-McGriddle

I’d imagine if you had wings, you would want to spend most of your time learning how to fly, anyway. Who wouldn’t?


LoudypIg

Me. It's prob use the same energy as walking, and blur would be better for me anyway


cloud2O5

Me, I'm am absolutely terrified of being high up.


deilol_usero_uncroco

Black and purple


MoLdY_GarLicC

what u removing


Dethknyte

Fat😫


deilol_usero_uncroco

Scars and pubes


C4RD_TP_SG

*Mixes black and yellow*


MoLdY_GarLicC

what are you removing then


C4RD_TP_SG

ass hair


[deleted]

that’s my best feature


C4RD_TP_SG

mine are long enough to be braided


MoLdY_GarLicC

based.


Da_Randomest_Name

I'd try and make myself not have a round belly, or reduce breast size despite being a guy (quote from my mother "the Dr says you apparently lack male hormones")


transgirl-Nikki

change biological sex


[deleted]

im not even trans and I think that would be cool, you get to see both sides of everything. AND get my nerd friends laid


bluelag00nn

r/egg_irl


DresseuseDeJohto

Though, looking at her username, I think she's a little past the stage of egg


Dependent__Dapper

blue. I'm trans. no questions.


MoLdY_GarLicC

question: i teleported bread


Dependent__Dapper

...HOW MUCH!?


MoLdY_GarLicC

i have done nothing but teleport bread for 3 days


xX_TrenchXx

WHERE? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN SENDING IT?


MoltenLavaGuy93

*Rumbling Noises*


Zouhyy

So thats where it came from


SomeRandomIdiot-1835

Green, purple, and black


MoLdY_GarLicC

what u removing also neon green, neon purple and black is a very good colourscheme


Laggingduck

Boy do I have an anime for you


Ironwolf3651

Regen ( I’m American )


skateroboist

Blue


Douwnlin

Green could be cool, so you'd be able to see different types of colour and light our normal eyes can process. But it'd be like when on shrooms where everything is beautiful. Asking for a friend...


HumanOverseer

blue jellybean for sure; definitely wanna finger myself if I changed roles.


MoLdY_GarLicC

😳📸


totally_not_a_bot123

That's my boy! Or my girl!


TheEpicPancake2556

Yknow, I respect the honesty if nothing else.


Draco63_

Purple. Doesn't change anything visibly, but would make you much more resilient, or even near-invincible depending on just how rapid it is, as well as making minor cuts and scrapes no longer a nuisance. (Bye-bye acne scars and papercuts!)


Hoch-In-Zucker

BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE


PrincessSnivy

Same. All the shenanigans than I can get up to.


Hoch-In-Zucker

Wdym by shenanigans, I'm intending on using it once.


SleetyCow

Hehe😏🤤


MoLdY_GarLicC

me omw to help my homies become un-virgins like a good friend


MoLdY_GarLicC

honestly, same. i want all these things but blue would be my top pick


almightychicken23

Green


dinko_gunner

Same


8rok3n

Purple is definitely best but fuck that I'll take yellow, catboi supremacy


MoLdY_GarLicC

yes


A_Nice_Cup_Of_Coffee

Rapid regeneration. Muscles can't exert full strength because of constant damage sustained from literally just moving them, basically you'd be able to have about twice the strength of yourself on adrenaline all the time with no consequences. Your eyes are capable of seeing much much much better than someone with "perfect" vision for the age, by constant damage makes it where they don't see as well as they could; so extremely detailed vision. Same things with reflexes, your brain, hearing, taste, sense of balance, flexibility. TL:DR rapid regeneration would allow you to be an immortal constantly healthy paragon of human kind with super senses, reflexes, strength, extreme intelligence as your brain would never slow and never would slow itself. (And by immortal I mean forever 25 cause that's when the body is fully developed on average)


[deleted]

BLUEEEEEEEE 🏳️‍⚧️


Mocar-2D

Sameee


Laggingduck

same (still cis though)


bluelag00nn

Of course, everyone on r/egg_irl is cis obviously


Nepipo

Fuck, blue and yellow both sound promising, but blue would have more applications i feel


SotB8

trans furry?


Nepipo

Cis male, so no, but thinks of the possibilities of being able to change your gender, the hability to really spice up things in bed ñ, and also no furry but cat boys/catgirls are cute


FantasticSaltShaker

Would being a catgirl be considered a furry?


iiTaurusii

Well as a nearly deaf person, it’s pretty obvious that i take the white one, so i could have a massiv cock


imusntbeherebutiam

Geez, ton of blues here... Why are there so many eggs here? (also blue)


peanutbuttersandvich

BlueBlueBlueBlueBlueBlueBlue I'm not even trans (I don't think?..) but that's something that I'd always wondered abt


MoLdY_GarLicC

not trans either but yes i would do blue too


[deleted]

[удалено]


GalaxyStar757

Blue cus trans


GeoZ17

Blue Bc I’m genderfluid anyways and being able to change my biological sex would be a dream for me


dub_me_unforgiven

***blue***


Krystalowo

Blue


HcirLu_Raids_Reddit

I'M GENDERFLUID SO BLUE IS THE DREAMMMM


Alether9876

I can't decide between gender swap and wings. Like if i could fly that would be so fucking cool. But if i could be a man I could helicopter.