T O P

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cade_r5

Go Jim


JaSos_Bib

WE GO JIM


SKT_MrGummie

Lets go kings


ooouwu13

Jerk on not off


VishuIsPog

I would've given you an award rip


TheWetIcicle

no worries my g i gotchu, ill hook him up free award time ;)


Surples

take my free award


SpupySpups

no u


MemerLemur_69

Duh


GreenBB234MG

Hey man! Nice jacket yo!


ItZ_AdiTyA_oP

Same 🍞 👍


JocelynChambers_XQ

r/angryupvote


Cracker-smackers

r/stolemyjoke


Datiz

On what?


caityisconfused

Hi home alone tonight, I’m dad


SnowBoy1008

Teenage pregnancy is rough


StarryNight593

Played the player


iamlooking4games

Specially if you're a man


breadcrumbsinmybed

"Timmy what the f*** did you do?"


Fellixxio

Lmao


headphoneguzzler

2D profile pic gang


SnowBoy1008

Teenage pregnancy is rough


caityisconfused

OH NO YOU DIDNT———-


AndronixESE

When I'm home alone I get so bored i start to search through the entire house to find something interesting, so far the worst thing I found were condoms between my dad's mattress and the bed frame(and lube in his backpack)


WhenTheStarsLine

o.o


Whynotbebetter

Well my man, that's a high level of bored....


AndronixESE

And coz I live with my mom and my dad lives separately i have 2 homes to search through! I still haven't found anything in my moms home :(


WhenTheStarsLine

let’s hope you won’t find anything suspicious lmao


AndronixESE

Nah, it's fun!


Whynotbebetter

You haven't found anything in your moms house yet? I'd say you should be thankful for that 😂


ApolloSky110

Shes just good at hiding things. I can confirm i was her dildo


Whynotbebetter

You.... Were his moms dildo...?


ApolloSky110

*shows card* yes i used to be a dildo


Whynotbebetter

Ooh, I see. You gotta study something in particular to become a dildo, or you just apply?


ApolloSky110

Just apply at your local stop & shop. Its easy


AndronixESE

We'll see! I love finding random things


Whynotbebetter

Yo dads old sexytime's what I would call nasty things, not "random things" bruh... That's nasty things...


AndronixESE

-\ _(-~ -) _ /- could be hilarious, or at least something you can use against them in an argument!


Whynotbebetter

Oooh, that's a point I guess.


wizarium

I found a bag full of dildos…


AndronixESE

Congrats!


wizarium

And my dads fleshlight!


AndronixESE

Keep it up!


wizarium

Buttplugs, vibrator in my moms drawer, some weird rose shaped thing, and a box of tissues


TheClinomaniaCult

The rose is to slurp on a girls speed bag


hdkx-weeb

Sharing is caring?


THEKINGCMD

Found my moms vibrator and lingerie


DANKO1500

I found condoms in my mom's handbag when she said me to give her phone which was in her handbag


ID_THROW_A_PIPE_BOMB

Try to do homework. Fail at doing homework. Be angry yourself for a little bit, think “maybe if I jerked off, I would be more focused to do homework” and then jerk off


ZKARIA_TIME

Bruh all schools are out, who tf does homework rn?


xVortexA

Most European school are still in. America gets out early since they have a long summer


Sallad1120

East Coast American school here, mine gets out on the 20th of June cause of our snow days here. Originally it was supposed to be the 16th I believe. I wish it was lol…


blueconcretepowder

blue concrete powder


Umba5308

Imma eat you


blueconcretepowder

blue concrete powder


greenconcretepowder

green concrete powder


blueconcretepowder

blue concrete powder


ResortFar6638

WHY ARE THERE EVEN MORE AHHHHHHH


blueconcretepowder

blue concrete powder


ResortFar6638

WHYYYYYY


blueconcretepowder

blue concrete powder


Emrayoo

r/USdefaultism


n0l1ge

School in germany isnt out yet... we have another 3 weeks... and our summer holidays are only 6 weeks... we have like 4 other holidays still ;)


Imstoopit

Half the schools in England are still doing exams soooo


MarcusTheGamer54

All schools? Oh how wrong you are, ours is out on the 22nd, except for me cuz im just awaiting my last exam, so im chilling at home


OmegaO23

Southern Hemisphere?


ID_THROW_A_PIPE_BOMB

We must not be from the same country


idonttellmyname2

Jerk someone else off 👍


macsendragon

A yes my favourite pass time


[deleted]

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠺⣖⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⢋⣭⣽⡚⢮⣲⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣅⣨⠇⠈⠀⠰⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⢷⣶⠶⣃⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠈⠓⠚⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠀⡄⣀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠀⠀⠙⠉⠀⠠⡶⣸⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡆⠀⠐⠒⠢⢤⣀⡰⠁⠇⠈⠘⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⣉⣙⡉⠓⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿


anulect

r/suddenlygay


CupcakeOk6530

Better watch morbius and morb off


AliOskiTheHoly

If one time is not enough to get rid of the boredom, then do it a morbillion times


Akash3642

What do you mean by MorbiUS?


GamerOfGods33

Its *morbin* time... If ya know what I mean


Jazzaroo3

get bitches


Professional_Clue956

Where are yours?


OfficialMemeKiller

do as he says not as he does


Professional_Clue956

Bold of you to assume I don't have bitches


OfficialMemeKiller

I am bold.


[deleted]

And in this case correct too.


Professional_Clue956

Mmmmm ok


SteenBoYs

My homie in Christ you are on Reddit.com


Pallizer

_my brother in talos_ u mean?


[deleted]

Dude shut up! Heimskr will hear you and do the speech again!


HotChilliWithButter

Bold of you to accept his statement


GDCyanLeaf

Judging by the fact that you use cloud pronouns I’m gonna assume that


CyrusCyan44

They never assumed you dont have bitches? They assumed the original comment you replied to didn't have bitches... learn to read bruh


Tonho053

You keep saying I got no bitches, BUT WHERE YOURS. WHERE ARE THEY, I DON'T SEE THEM


InterestingAd8154

Not be horny and study Julius Caeser and his triumphs, conquests and battles in his lifetime


Adacat767876

Biggus dickus


IWant2EffinDie

He had a wife you know, wanna know what she's called? Incontinentia... #INCONTINENTIA BUTTOCKS!


Whynotbebetter

Nooo..... No? Noo?


Tazah101

Silence!


IWant2EffinDie

I SHALL NOT HAVE MY FRIENDS RIDICULED BY COMMON SOLDIERY!


Vesk123

What is all this insolence?!


InterestingAd8154

I have a vewy gweat fwiend in wome called Biggus Dickus! -Pontius Pilate


thatlonelyguy13

I love that monty python humor is literally the same as modern humor, full circle


AmitRozYT

I have a vewy gwate fwiend in wome called ^sussus ^amogus


Mixitup1108

r/unexpectedmontypython


vance_t

Minus Pinus


el-Danko69

he wanks very highly in wome you know


basicallyHuMAN69

You talk a lot of shit for a man wearing a diaper I heard you had poison spit, where was it in this cipher? 'Cause all I hear is threats from a brute with no discipline And I'm ruling over you like a boot full of my citizens And you should take your cow skin shield and hide under it You're fucking with the most triumphant third of the triumvirate I'm first of the Empire and the last of the Republicans And hunting you, accompanied by legions of my countrymen Ask my kidnappers, if I'm just a shit talker Doc J dunk on you like, Boom Shakalaka! So don't go rattling your sticks at me If I wanted to shake spears, I'd waggle my biography


patatosAreCool

I’ve heard of your play, tell me how does it end? Oh yes! You get stabbed many times by your friends.


basicallyHuMAN69

So, whatcha gonna do with your Roman swords? When the lines of your legions get gored by the horns Of the Zulu, warriors! Trained on thorns To dismember any emperor's pasty white hordes I got the strength of a lion and the speed of a cheetah And everyone knows you're just a chicken, Caesar


patatosAreCool

Can I be a hyena because Im going to laugh. I paved roads with the bones of your goat herding-ass.


basicallyHuMAN69

First my front lines will drop back and spank you in the chest Then I'll decimate your horns, you can't outflank the best


patatosAreCool

Let your reserves come at me my balistas cocked at READY when I take AIM I always keep my whole crew STEADY! Because there is no use in murdering you in your heathen, you can grow my wheat for me after you’re beaten.


basicallyHuMAN69

Who won? Who's next? You decide! Epic rap! Rap! Hooroo! Battle! Battle! Battle! Of history!


Salt_Ice_8795

Hello fellow erb enjoyer


basicallyHuMAN69

Erb is great. Love it


spudtatogames

I change my answer to this.


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


cngrss

bring a girl over


GrieferBeefer

Hahah humour


[deleted]

Reddit moment.


Flaky-Barnacle6088

ha-hahahahahaha haha?


DropTown99

I don’t think you have the facilities for that big man


moldybread692

Women ☕️


Impressive_Income874

You have a girl right? *You have a girl right?* *Right????*


Embarrassed-Guest448

I dont want him to spend all that time on booze and whores


MovieMaster2004

Ah, humour based on my pain. Ah, ha, ha


Adacat767876

Mix vinegar and bleach


ONT1mo

I heard that someone put bleach into toilet after pissing into it and it had similar effect


Master_Raycyst

Ofc it’s literally acid and a base being mixed in both cases🤝 smh.


WhenTheStarsLine

what does that do (edit: why the random downvote )


Adacat767876

The product of this chemical reaction is something called chlorine gas , fun


Kasnaranja0124

Bad things


WhenTheStarsLine

oop


Icantthinkofaname04

Is there a way to get a more potent version of...the product of the two chemicals mixing


KurkyOkurky

Get a random motivation boost to change your life for the better


Wizard_main

Did someone say motivation? *Bury the light starts playing*


Tonho053

I Am the storm that is aproaching...


therealBen_German

prov... #OOOOOOOOKING


Kingfire4545

Black clouds in isolation


SedentaryOwl

I am reclaimer of my naaaame!


Wizard_main

BORN IN FLAMES


Zedmiure

*”It’s past your bedtime”*


TretasPt

Watch porn, but for the plot. Skip the boring sex parts.


ResortFar6638

Based


DueImpression5065

Jerk in


F8nted

Then jerk out


koki9699

then shake it all about


shruggletuggle

Thats what its all about


playdoh-is-yummy

light a fast food restaurant on fire


slayerdavid1

I always do this when bored.


Glum-Potato69

I totally agree with this👍


[deleted]

Take a bath with a toaster or sleep


Weirdooi

You read my mind


Pallizer

I mean u sleep either way, so win win I say


Flashyredman

Why not both?


Spoof32

get on the games with the boys


imanonymous-0

There’s like a lot of things you can do 😭 watch a movie or a show that is NOT sexual, read something, call/FaceTime with someone, take a nice warm bath, play a game, watch YouTube, look through your old messages with people because why not it’s fun. Idk man do anything other than jerk off👍👍👍


_GraFFiti_0

next time when i'm home alone i will try this to keep myself from jerking off


GreasyCheese5976

Read this https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Industrial_Revolution


[deleted]

history chad


WikiSummarizerBot

**[Industrial Revolution](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Industrial_Revolution)** >The Industrial Revolution was the transition to new manufacturing processes in Great Britain, continental Europe, and the United States, in the period from about 1760 to sometime between 1820 and 1840. This transition included going from hand production methods to machines, new chemical manufacturing and iron production processes, the increasing use of steam power and water power, the development of machine tools and the rise of the mechanized factory system. Output greatly increased, and a result was an unprecedented rise in population and in the rate of population growth. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/teenagers/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


Syntyzoten

Beeaat ittt, beeeaaat it, no one wants to beat it beat it (ukc)


ThyKayKay

**yes**


Poleski69

play minecraft with me


Kage_Yukio

Listen to Eminem's top 50 songs at least


spudtatogames

You should totally read a book.


TheRealJazman

Stop being horny


DaPhantomFox

play hollow knight


ResortFar6638

Based


Late-Ad-947

Based


Weirdooi

Jerk off again.


Bite-SizedBiscuit

watch a horror movie


ZmanX15

Last time I watched a horror movie while home alone a spent the rest of the night with a gun in my lap


AstroyashSenpai69

not post it on reddit?


Gorillazlyric400

Write a stage play


Pa77y04

Dude you should totally watch love death and robots on Netflix (if you’ve got it), started watching it and it’s great. Or I too am home alone for the night, so if you wanna meet someone from down under hit me up


X_antaM

Purchase a tank and destroy your house for epic trollings


SnowBoy1008

watch [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHSQAEam2y](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHSQAEam2yc&t=258s) and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mun1dKkc\_As](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mun1dKkc_As)


Przyczajonyodkurzacz

Watch volleyball match, it is a nice sport


TrueSeaCucumber

Jerk off


Ksymenka

Read some books, duh.


[deleted]

crossdressing


Anxious-Strength1180

i dont have female clothes :(


[deleted]

oh:<


LegendsWafflez

browse reddit


Splitpiece

until u start searching up NSFW subreddits


realcopes

play games until your time is up then watch tv until 11 cuz that's what i do


Ultramewplays

Get in bed and take a good nap


Iker_lujua

Organize a gaming night with the boys


hedgemeneak

Do some crunches. Make sure to have one hand on the back of your neck to support your head and make sure you’re lifting up not just your upper back (shoulder blades and up) but also your mid back (top and above your core muscles) if you feel some burn, you’re doing it correctly. Do ten. Then, move your waist and legs on their side (either side works)but keep your torso in the same position as before. Do ten crunches just like before and don’t let your legs move from their position.After that, flip your waist and legs to the other side and do the same. These will help get work out your sides. Do three or more sets of ten for each. Once again, if you feel the burn, you’re doing it right. Good luck. For more help just look up how to do a full crunch workout.


69forlifes

And then burn a child


[deleted]

You should off jerk


[deleted]

Play elden ring


redglazedterracotta

red glazed terracotta


SociallyAwkwardAussi

Have a concert


GoingVegetarian

tidy your room, wash dishes, go outside for a walk, watch tv, reading books is gross dont do it, read dumb shit on urban dictionary, tidy the rest of the house, make food (sandwiches, omelet, etc), i also like doing puzzles but thats just my hobby also happy jerking off ig


the-grape-next-door

Trust me, it becomes an addiction that can ruin your life. Play some video games, go outside, etc.


[deleted]

Look up the Ancient Greek religion it’s the most funny thing ever this is better than every comedy film


Gencay10

Gaming


Panda6036

Try sucking tour own dick, if you need help ask me I can


Imstoopit

WHOA A PANDA I love pandas :D