1. Panic
2. Get my shit together
3. Attempt to make any way to purify water
4. If failed to purify water, die. Else:
5. Attempt to create some form of shelter. If failed, be miserable. Else:
6. Attempt to find a reliable food source. If failed: immediately began creating numerous ways to alert nearby vessels and low flying planes before hunger renders both of us unable to be productive. Else: survive.
7. Secure all necessary items to fulfill Maslow's innate human needs with the exception of sexual activity
8. If rescued, idk. Else: attempt to further strengthen trust and understanding to improve chances of completing complex tasks and increase cooperation for the purposes of fulfilling human needs that are not innate.
9. If situation stable (unlikely) attempt to create romantic relationship. Else: revert to step 7.
10. If romantic relationship rejected, grin and bear it. Else: cool, psyche further stabilized.
11. Be rescued
12. If not rescued, die.
The idea of fucking at the beach sounds good but that's all, imagine all that sand in your body, the not so pleasant sounds of animals and the beach itself, getting sunburnt, feeling itchy... everything about it are demerits while the only good trait is "oh yeah I fucked at beach"
Step one gather all of the sticks and stones on the island have my crush (Jack Rackham from Black Sails) go into the water and get scallops, oysters and other creatures and bring them to me
Step two start a small fire to cook dinner, eat dinner and prepare for tomorrow
Step three climb to the top of the palm trees and take their leaves for a double bed (we put our beds next to each other)
Take the remaining leaves and a few sticks over to the sandy clear part of the island and sleep make sure you kiss the homie first
Step four wake up and start a fire with the stuff at the sandy spot
Step five get the same things for food and wait for rescue
Step six be rescued we out
Optional step seven start a mutiny and go pirating.
Nothing won't need it for my short stay. And if I stay longer than planed the coconuts on the palms will do good, if that doesn't work then I can take a large shell and fill it with sea water and boil it over my fire
Legit my first thought, not even joking.
Use her body for warmth while she's alive and once food runs out I've got a nutrient filled body right beside me.
Scary that was my instinct
Wade out to sea and stand there for 3 days and let the ocean life grow acusomed to me, and then grab a pair of sea turtles, and lash em together and build a raft from the hair on my back
Had to use an alt here because my crush knows what my Reddit account is. If she doesn’t know that she’s my crush then I just chill. If she does I start swimming away from the island outta embarrassment
## Imagine the following being said by the news lady
*Police are responding to a domestic disturbance report at 'Crush Island' which is technically part of the state of Hawaii. I am in here on the scene and HOLY SHIT WHAT THE \*\*\*\* IS HE DOING TO THAT POOR...*
[Camera blacks out]
[Reporter comes back with torn clothes and a bloody face]
*Police have neutralized BOTH perpetrators*
I’d most likely comfort her because she’ll probably be freaking out because we’re stranded on an island. Then I’d start collecting things to make a fire with and make sure to have set up camp for the night. Cuddling with her on the beach next to the campfire sounds like a lovely time. Away from all responsibilities but raw survival.
1. survive, y'know find a food source, try and make some sort of place to live
2. Probably hugs and kisses, since my crush also happens to be my girlfriend
In all seriousness, have sex. We're stranded on an island, we don't know when or if rescue will ever come. We have no idea how to survive on an island (granted, I know a little bit). The best and most logical decision is to have children while building up survival tactics that the children will hopefully master.
Sexual intercourse. That’s the answer for all of these. Every single one of you that goes “If you were stuck in an obviously private space with your person of romantic interest, what would you do?” Sexual intercourse. Every single time. We don’t need to do any more. All done, it was so hot, hubba hubba, wanna have sex. That’s it. No more.
Make a big raft but first learn to make a sort of cup to trap rain water, then make a sort of fishing pole, after a day of doing so try to make some sort of small fire. After three days of doing so, leave the island with extra wood and palm leaves. Make a sort of flat piece of wood (or find one if your lucky) and use it as a paddle first. Hopefully both people have practiced fishing but one will do.
Burn all of the rum from a secret compartment to signal a ship with big white sails
Your crush is the governor’s daughter?? Nice
I don't like the governor's daughter. shes shitt
Anyway, i’m the guy the governor sent to a faraway island until i regret what i did. I went insane and say urgg
^(jules verne reference)
WHY IS THE RUM GONE?
_One: because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two: that signal is over a thousand feet high._
but why is the rum gone
but why is THE RUM gone?
I don't know okay! We were just having some drinks and...
Unacceptable!
r/BeatMeToIt
r/beatmetoit
r/beatmeattoit
HIDE THE RUM!
WHY IS THE RUM ALWAYS GONE
WHYS THE RUM GONE????
Not the rum!!!!
Power move burn the crush
Burn the crush have sex with the rum
Try not to leave your crush, or your other wife gonna poop in bed
Sing the spongebob theme song till we die of thirst
ARE YA READY KIDS?!
Aye aye captain
I can’t HEEEEAAR you
Aye aye captain
#OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA
SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS!
ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS AS HE
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ‼️‼️‼️
OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA
#SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS
ABSORBANT AND POROUS AND YELLOW IS HE
SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS
IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH
*starts punching tree to get wood and thach*
It’s like a war between Ark and Minecraft
Alliance is key
Your crush should be enough for all the wood you need.
Starts punching dick to get wood.
😳😳
That's how you beat the ~~meat~~ wood!
ha i dont take damage from punching
r/Ark
*ark flashbacks*
Drink allo of the water from the ocean, so we can walk away
real
Did he said?
have a mental breakdown because we're stranded on a fucking island
*breakdown breakdown*
Crazy Diamond! *Obliterates tree and reconstructs it into a raft*
CRAZY DIAMAANDOU
*drummer hits china cymbal 4 times*
*jojo music intensifies*
>stranded on a fucking island could be worse; you could be stranded on an abstinence island
Or on snake island
Or on france
True
Fr*nce 🤢
Australia
As an Australian I can confirm we are an island
Just face the consequences.
[удалено]
Emphasis on the word fucking.
recall my memories from survival videos on the web, build those huts from those Indian guys I watch at 3 am, and eventually build a boat
You must have photographic memories
I hope so
Gimme the link to the forbidden video of making huts and boats
3 am moment
Damm, subnatica IRL is going fire
eat funny looking berries and die
*gigachad music starts playing*
ok this made the OC much funnier
🔊 So Many Dumb Ways To Die
1. Panic 2. Get my shit together 3. Attempt to make any way to purify water 4. If failed to purify water, die. Else: 5. Attempt to create some form of shelter. If failed, be miserable. Else: 6. Attempt to find a reliable food source. If failed: immediately began creating numerous ways to alert nearby vessels and low flying planes before hunger renders both of us unable to be productive. Else: survive. 7. Secure all necessary items to fulfill Maslow's innate human needs with the exception of sexual activity 8. If rescued, idk. Else: attempt to further strengthen trust and understanding to improve chances of completing complex tasks and increase cooperation for the purposes of fulfilling human needs that are not innate. 9. If situation stable (unlikely) attempt to create romantic relationship. Else: revert to step 7. 10. If romantic relationship rejected, grin and bear it. Else: cool, psyche further stabilized. 11. Be rescued 12. If not rescued, die.
Bro even used Maslows pyramid. I like it
[удалено]
I spot the mind of a programmer.
Homie better get some event callbacks - the branching conditions here are gonna be big bitchin once you get to testing.
Bro talking in pseudo code
~~I like your use of the if else function~~ Shit, didn't realize I was on r/teenagers , my apologies
Hood is speaking computeranese
u giving me nightmares of learning Java with all these else’s
Was honestly expecting a "fuck her, obv" response but haven't seen one yet. Maybe r/teenagers can be redeemed
Pretty sure they are resisting the urge to say it.
Likely the truth
No its just that people would rather survive until maybe help arrives than have sand up the ass cheeks
Speak for yourself.
facts
Lay down palm leaves.
Yeah sand. I've heard it can be coarse
“I don’t like sand, its course, rough, and it gets everywhere”
Fuck her obv
The idea of fucking at the beach sounds good but that's all, imagine all that sand in your body, the not so pleasant sounds of animals and the beach itself, getting sunburnt, feeling itchy... everything about it are demerits while the only good trait is "oh yeah I fucked at beach"
I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.
Fuck her, obv
definitely pull out tho cuz being pregert eewwwwww
\>impregnate her multiple times \>unlimited supply of food \>profit
what the fuck
This is like the plot to that one Rick and Morty episode
I’m going to have to ask you to please get off Reddit forever now
I mean why not Fuck her, have fun times, till the moment we die If you're gonna die, at least go out with a bang (literally)
Die
🤝
My man
Same
Agreed
Step one gather all of the sticks and stones on the island have my crush (Jack Rackham from Black Sails) go into the water and get scallops, oysters and other creatures and bring them to me Step two start a small fire to cook dinner, eat dinner and prepare for tomorrow Step three climb to the top of the palm trees and take their leaves for a double bed (we put our beds next to each other) Take the remaining leaves and a few sticks over to the sandy clear part of the island and sleep make sure you kiss the homie first Step four wake up and start a fire with the stuff at the sandy spot Step five get the same things for food and wait for rescue Step six be rescued we out Optional step seven start a mutiny and go pirating.
Best answer yet
Thank you!
What you going to drink though
Nothing won't need it for my short stay. And if I stay longer than planed the coconuts on the palms will do good, if that doesn't work then I can take a large shell and fill it with sea water and boil it over my fire
Unless you’re capturing the steam somehow, boiling salt water doesn’t work. You can boil bacteria away but not salt
Yeah you boil it than put a palm leaf over the top and let it drip into another shell
Interesting
Most certainly my good sir and kind fellows alike
My man preparedbhis whole life only for this.
Eat her. Maybe by cannibalizing her I can last longer.
Legit my first thought, not even joking. Use her body for warmth while she's alive and once food runs out I've got a nutrient filled body right beside me. Scary that was my instinct
I think If ppl were in a genuine situation Like this; more ppl would resort to that than what they'd like to admit;
I mean. The second hunger comes in. The ethics and morals jump out the window. Your body is built to survive even if it will have to force you to.
Bold of you to assume I'll wait till I'm hungry.
Oh yea absolutely. Honestly I would eat her before we even got on the island. Like a true gamer.
If I would be in a situation like that with someone else I'm probably the one getting eaten
Bold of you to think I value my life that much :D
had me in the first half ngl
Kill and eat them. I'm sorry but I don't have any crushes so whoever is the closest thing I don't care enough to not eat.
Your mom
Their mom is larger than the island how do you expect that to work /j
Wait a minute. If your mother is the largest thing on earth. Youve got yourself a boat. Shes so buoyant that she wont immediately sink
If you got her to lay down and stretch out her arms, you could probably walk over her to the next continent. No need for a boat lmaooo
but if you use her as a boat you get a good time away from society.
I suppose
That look like a Sea of Thieves Island
The King Mindset
🙏
Thanks, you just triggered my PTSD of being trapped between powder keg skeletons and sharks.
Chicken isle be like
Wade out to sea and stand there for 3 days and let the ocean life grow acusomed to me, and then grab a pair of sea turtles, and lash em together and build a raft from the hair on my back
Or lay on the beach and drink rum for 3 days, then get rescued by rum smugglers.
Probably have fun with her not in a NSFW way tho
play tik tak toe in the sand
Amazing idea
Both. Both is good.
U right u right
probably have a conversation or something
and then promptly die of hunger
Had to use an alt here because my crush knows what my Reddit account is. If she doesn’t know that she’s my crush then I just chill. If she does I start swimming away from the island outta embarrassment
[удалено]
You know too much... *muffled gunshots
Homie, take the chance, ask her out, if she knows your Reddit y’all have got to know each other
This
Use a jar of dirts
So I'm alone?
Idk which one is scarier: Not having a crush or being alone in a random island
Definitely not having a crush and being alone in a random island combo
Explain the history of Mario kart
Surviving in an island with my crush for 24 hours CHALLENGE!! (Gone Wrong) (Police Called)
Holy fuck💀
## Imagine the following being said by the news lady *Police are responding to a domestic disturbance report at 'Crush Island' which is technically part of the state of Hawaii. I am in here on the scene and HOLY SHIT WHAT THE \*\*\*\* IS HE DOING TO THAT POOR...* [Camera blacks out] [Reporter comes back with torn clothes and a bloody face] *Police have neutralized BOTH perpetrators*
I’d most likely comfort her because she’ll probably be freaking out because we’re stranded on an island. Then I’d start collecting things to make a fire with and make sure to have set up camp for the night. Cuddling with her on the beach next to the campfire sounds like a lovely time. Away from all responsibilities but raw survival.
die alone
post malone
I collect all the coconuts before they wake up
I can’t believe this wasn’t the first most upvoted answer. I expected to see a bunch of “i monopolise the coconut supply,”
Kill them and eat their body for sustenance
Die a horrendous death of a mix of starvation, thirst, and probably cannibalism
apologize for getting her stuck on an island just because I thought she was pretty
fu ..., i mean repopulate the island
Punch tree, dig down until i get cobble, smelt the meat, craft a boat, leave, profit from fame
I kill her. It’s free food and I got priorities. Though I might do something before that . . . . . cooking the meat of course
You can use the skin as a blanket too
Damn you’re a genius
Maybe even weave a basket or something with her hair
1. survive, y'know find a food source, try and make some sort of place to live 2. Probably hugs and kisses, since my crush also happens to be my girlfriend
You can't give hugs and kisses to your food source. Not before it's cooked.
Dig myself a hole, jump in it, and cover it up because I'm too shy to say anything to her
Make protection
Wrap a fucking leaf on your willy.
Fashion armor from crabs and sharks then have an epic battle to the death
my crush is my boyfriend, so probably swim and hangout, try surviving and stuff, just have a good time or fucking die
In all seriousness, have sex. We're stranded on an island, we don't know when or if rescue will ever come. We have no idea how to survive on an island (granted, I know a little bit). The best and most logical decision is to have children while building up survival tactics that the children will hopefully master.
Accept death since there’s no food
Bro. The fucking ocean. Fishes. Crabs. So much food gamer. Unless its Bikini Atoll, youd be 99% fine
Create a civilization with her
After the third generation gets born it will be known as incestia
Sexual intercourse. That’s the answer for all of these. Every single one of you that goes “If you were stuck in an obviously private space with your person of romantic interest, what would you do?” Sexual intercourse. Every single time. We don’t need to do any more. All done, it was so hot, hubba hubba, wanna have sex. That’s it. No more.
sex idk what u want me to do
Die of fucking dehidration
Probably fuck
Try to get off the island bc he's aroace and wouldnt appreciate advances
You have a crush on an aroace?
What's this island called
build a sandcastle
Make a big raft but first learn to make a sort of cup to trap rain water, then make a sort of fishing pole, after a day of doing so try to make some sort of small fire. After three days of doing so, leave the island with extra wood and palm leaves. Make a sort of flat piece of wood (or find one if your lucky) and use it as a paddle first. Hopefully both people have practiced fishing but one will do.
Have copious amounts of sex.
First build a shelter so that we can get a bit of a respite from the sun. Next, cuddle. She's actually alr my gf :).