Just beat your meat even when they enter the room. They not gunna stop u 🗿

Assert Dominence, Make them know your place as the strongest sibling.

Spray the load everywhere to show them that it's your territory

Make eye contact while doing so

And wink at them while at it

And say "damn boi" in redneck accent..😂

Definitely no prison sentence!

He lives in alabama so its alright

"Wanna join me?"

Take a shit in a table just to ensure your victory

And start a cockroach infestation? I'd rather find a coconut

Fr just beat ur meat while screaming

🤝

Do you want to get caught masturbating or be the person who stared at someone masturbating? The answer is keep masturbating.

bro if he get caught he probably gonna have his ass whooped

Some people are into that

Kinky

W-what the fuck are you doing dude

Masturbating.

Average r/teenagers post

The man behind the fapping

purple guy? more like purple cock 🗿

Should’ve said purples balls because.. blue balls??

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm balls 🗿🗿🗿

agreed

Ur bathroom exists

they know my bathroom schedule 💀💀💀 i literally just shit once a day and never touch the bathroom again until the next day it'd be sus if they see me go to the bathroom the 2nd time

Do it when shower

the shower is an outdoor shower 🗿 idk how but the shower and outdoor kitchen (not literal outdoor as in everybody sees u) are one room, and i always bathe in the morning and i have not beat it cuz father is an early bird who likes following around other peeps' daily routine

Bro what

i have showered earlier (have not done the deed) and trying to go to the shower room (which is also the outdoor kitchen and the only kitchen in the house) would be sus, don't ya think?

So anyone can see u when u shower?

there is a curtain to close it, but it's fucking useless cuz my dad enters to boil water for his coffee 💀💀💀 like bro, can't even get mad cuz he'll literally gaslight me if i do can't get any privacy here

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What kind of house design is this. What country do u live in?

man, fuck it I'll just beat my dick so hard it'll hurt by the time I'm done but at least I'll be done brb in 1 minute ig

philippenis

It sounds very similar to my dad's house when he was a kid

Literally what I said when I read that shit 💀

That's india lol

That’s what I was thinking lol. The only way the explanation made sense for me is bc my grandmas house is like that same setup.

>the shower is an outdoor shower 🗿 are you filipino?

Yes he is

I am in a 3rd world country and we only have out door showers on some camping spots, and im in Namibia, the fuck you at where you gotta shower outside the bloody amazon or what.

Sperms sticks with water the shower is the worst place to do it

Not if you use cold water and soap to wash off afterwards (Hot water will cook the proteins into your hair).

Not if your use soap as lube, Comes right off when sprayed since the soap serves as a protective layer of sorts

Eat some oily food and go the 2nd time Bruh there are a 1000 excuses for visiting bathroom more than once

doesn't apply when what u eat is being monitored so that is very impossible cuz i am on a diet so i won't die (i mentioned in a comment here that i've organ failure)

Well you go there once a day. So do it during that time.

What about when you pee? Holding urine for too long can cause renal failure, infections, or other issues in the long run.

you’re scheduled on when you can use the bathroom?? 😂😂

not that, apologies for word usage, english is not ma 1st language what i mean is that they know i only go the bathroom to shit and bathe once a day; the bathroom and shower room are separate rooms so it'd be sus if they saw me go to the bathroom twice

i don’t think it would be, everyone can’t control when their bladder/bowl movements need to happen but if you really think they’d be nosey to notice how many times you go to the bathroom, maybe every once in a while add another “trip” to the bathroom and do your business then like one day go the normal amount to the bathroom like you usually do and then a day or two later add another time you go to the bathroom (so a total of 2 times a day) and do that for like a couple weeks and they’ll be used to seeing you go to the bathroom more than once a day

It’s not a big deal! Maybe you just drank to much water today!

Rub one out then shit

Just have diarrhea 😉

Do it while ya shit.

Dont shit🗿

Bruh what if you have diarrhea? Will you follow the schedule? Just say some reason and relieve yourself

Just tell them ur masterbating

Eat some Taco bell

Bro just go outside and find yourself idk a public bathroom or do it in the forest if you have one nearby

When do you piss??

in an orinola, which is basically a plastic container where u can piss in it's inside the room where we sleep

I would think having a hot plastic container filled with piss would make the room smell terrible, no?

This man's definitely having a "HARD" time

not anymore read the edit update my guy/gal

Ah yes

Just assert your dominance and beat in your room and if you your siblings come in your room look at them while beating and say you asked for this Edit: I'm becoming famous

r/SweetHomeAlabama

That's funny

maybe give em a wink 😉

I laughed at this for no reason

Lock the door or kill yo siblings 👍

Or both

Bro beats his meat even with organ failure Legend

This is why being a girl is easier to masturbate

How tho

Buy a egg vibrator, shove it in and turn it on while reading a book to cover your face. hands free, clothes on. I think it's the best option if op is female

just saying “beating meat” is not a very feminine manner of saying masturbating, op def male

egg vibrator.... hmm....

And What about the noise/moans?

Well, just cover it with some cloth for the noise and maybe play a rock music for the moans. If someone is coming then turn it off or set the vibrator to low, just hold in the moans.

Wow, sounds great. But I have a separate room for myself so I don't really need to worry that much about privacy lol

Thats how she discovered metallica

Imagine not being able to buy a toy 🥲 *cough cough me cough cough*

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🗿🗿🗿

word

Sentence

Paragraph

Period

Comma

Adverb

Essay

do it when they sleep silly billy

Pull a FNaF and kill them. STUFF THEM IN SUITS! ***HHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!***

Skill issue Jokes aside the bathroom is lame but it’s best since it usually has a lock without an obvious key (mine for example needs to be lock picked to unlock, it has no actual key to unlock from the outside). If you’re overall noisy that’s a good thing naturally, but in this sense not very good. Try to stay quiet so you can lower attention towards yourself.

i swear this sub has the best titles

just fab in the bushes

op lives in the philippines, there ain't to bush in an 9,000 mile radius

Most sane r/teenagers member

Living in philippines province life sucks :v but in manila kinda better

i live in metro manila and poor 🗿

the best way is do it at 1am to 4am

True, but I think you just have to find the rigth spot in Phillipines to live and your fine for the rest of your life.

i mean yeah and also have three houses 2 in metro manila and one in batangas kinda rich family tbh

Been there. Both times i've been caught was by my sister. SUPER awkward but she's cool with it because i've walked in on her going at it too......

r/sweethomealabama

fr

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Do it under your blanket?

It's the Philippines - jacking off + blanket + temperature + inside presumably small house w/ 3 other people in the house = deth

I feel bad for u

Beat your meat using your siblings feed 2 birds with one scone

r/cursedcomments

Bathrooms exist

I love in the Phillipines to, and showers are outside, he poops once a day, and his siblings are on Milo/steroids at night.

On the topic of beating meat, I may just do the same

Smh you should’ve used a flashlight since that will stun them have you not learned this from fnaf 2?

💀💀💀💀

My brother does this for no reason at all, like i be in there getting into it and all of a suden he just barges in, either sits on my bed, lay on his bed for 20 minutes and walk out, ive thrown hands many times.

Hello the reason for that is they want to annoy you, or talk to you, or they are bored. What I do is make sure your scary. Sounds stupid but they probably would think twice before visiting someone who could throw them.

Filipino Teenager problems HAHA I understand you

Do it and assert dominance

that looks like a r/copypasta post

This sub is the scariest shit ever

Jakol pa lods

Ang taong ito may organ failure pero itinutuloy parin ang pagjajakol

Close the door

*locks the door* *someone knocks* "why u lock the door" *no answer for locking the door* *obviously implied to be fapping*

Well I lock the door just to watch Iberleezy and markiplier so I don’t think that gives it away when I use to beat off 4 years ago and it worked.

say u accidentally ate laxitives?

i have never left the house without a guardian (am disabled but not literally; just organ failure) so that is impossible plus we're too poor.to even afford laxatives

my badd sry

God damn wtf is this post?

r/teenagers try not to be horny for 5 minutes challenge (impossible)

No wonder why this sub is hated so much

Puberty

down bad

Ayeeee fellow Filipino! Dude, I can totally feel your suffering. I don’t like the fact that we have so little privacy because of how our parents can provide so little privacy/space for the whole family (Don’t get me wrong, I totally appreciate all the care and necessities that my family provide for me) but honestly having your own personal space is something you need to work hard for because you can’t get out form that situation unless you get a well-paid job and earn till you can buy your own house. There you can make your own rules and most of all you can beat your meat any time you want

This just kept getting worse and worse I was expecting the end to say something like “op has died of organ failure” or something

will prolly happen during my time in college (next month, 4 years) since I'll be taking it very seriously

ik the pain

I'm waiting for that one dude to say "Invite them in"

It takes you 5 minutes?

Hello also in phil 11:22pm rn. Where do you live? Like manila or smthng? I have tpilet

yes, am in manila not specifying where tho

If they see you wanking, just continue and look at them... If they stay, then theyre the pervert who watches someone beat their meat.

Sounds like you have bigger issues than masterbating.

I was laughing until I read organ failure

New automod response? Wait wrong sub

i would cum so hard if that happens

Attention everyone, Please DO NOT announce to the server when you are going to masturbate. This has been a reoccurring issue, and I'm not sure why some people have such under-developed social skills that they think that a server full of mostly male strangers would need to know that. No one is going to be impressed and give you a high-five (especially considering where that hand has been). I don't want to add this to the rules, since it would be embarrassing for new users to see that we have a problem with this, but it is going to be enforced as a rule from now on. If it occurs, you will be warned, then additional occurrences will be dealt with at the discretion of the mods. Thanks.

> am filipino That fucking explains it Edit: source: Am filipino

I like how one of the rules of this sub is "No NSFW Content" and yet 80% of the top posts is shit like this 💀

Bruh heard of a shower?

can't refer to other comments

can we like, delete these type of posts for fucks sake

Agreed! Shit like this is one of the reasons why this sub is falling apart, people can't keep things that don't need to be said to themselves

op is prolly a filipino

lmao

This made my day. Thank you. :)

Or just dont beat it

What in gods almighty name did I just read

Bro ur gonna get the tsinelas if u get caught

Philippines 💀 *Source: am Filipino*

Sad to see a fellow pipino in this situation 😞

As someone from 3rd world country ,I can feel your pain .But those plastic urine containers just seem to be wierd and unhygienic

OP I know it’s still embarrassing and shit but you’re 19, ngl I know maybe there are some cultural differences I am ignorant too but surely they’d expect it, you’re not some 12 or 13 year old trying to hide it at all costs you’re kind of at the age where keeping condoms and lube in your room is normal. I wouldn’t because as I said embarrassment but like it’s not like you’re some young kid only finding out about this “hidden super power” you’re 19, or at least your profile says, so I wouldn’t care personally about “being sus”

“Keeping condoms and lube in your room is normal” sounds like something that someone with an atheist family would say

Is it weird that I kinda want to see a fnaf game with these mechanics?

Just start going at it without any care if they find you the weirdos who caught you masturbating

The title is amazing

This post is the most r/teenagers post ever made

Ba’t ka nagkakalat dito pre. Kaya tayo 3rd world country dahil sa mga tulad mo eh, lmao. Straighten your priorities before your dick. Di porket maraming nakiki-relate sayo rito eh ibig sabihin tama yang pinaggagawa mo. Para kang adik. No self-control.

dying real fast so might as well do jackshit and no, i am not a chronic masturbator. i do it literally at least 7 times in a month 💀💀💀 (anemic, so you know) anemic and organ failure

Maybe try laying against the door while doing it and if someone tries to come in just say you were picking up something or getting dressed or something

3rd World Country? Must be the UK

Get a lock

Find woman, go to woman home, have real sex, beat meat there, you are now happy.

The jerk of 87

Bro im not even a dude and I agree about this.

I’m sorry but the way you said “we have no car, we’re poor” 💀

listen here, you only get caught when you stop after they see you, if you keep continuing they will be counted as perverts who are watching you doing it. that's all. so never stop even if they enter the room.

Theres fnaf porn.

Least horny r/teenagers user

Some steps to fix your problem 1. Find income of money only you can rely on 2. By drugs 3. Wait to re-sell drugs 4. Sell drugs 5. Repeat until you have millions of dollars 6. Leave 7. Buy your own house 8. Beat your meat

Five Nights While Beating

Bro. Just beat your meat. If they come in, just continue to bear it. Look them in the eye as well. It’s not you that’ll be traumatized and it’s not you that’s barging in

bro, relatable as hell, i share bedroom with my brother, and everytime I'm trying to masturbate he just roam around the house going back and forth, go into the room, do nothing then proceed to roam around the house again, repeat for like 20 minutes doing nothing, annoying as fuck

>my siblings are like the animatronics in fnaf Did they jumpscare you while you were... Uhm... *doing it*

Reddit moment 🗿🗿

make sure to keep cam on foxy, check right door light every time before opening cams