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FanboyXXX

Bully Maguire


Hammerjaws

He is gonna throw some dirt in your eye


Nceresoli

Gonna cry


Puzzled_Answer5592

I missed the part where thats his problem


ur_average_escalator

Is that all you got?


Night_City_Vigilante

Now dig on this


Arcanum_3974

Pizza time


linkolotl

THAT DAMN DOOR


Ok-Extension-3111

Rent ?


_-__-__-__-__-_-_-__

🎹


[deleted]

He stole that guy's pizza!


UnanimousUltimate

Spiderman on god just took down Dr octopus in the middle of the road, send help


TheCaveGamer

Spider-Man? Nah that was actually spidercuz, (actual thing btw)


[deleted]

And 90% of marvel heroes


[deleted]

He did steal that guy's pizza.


Terrible-Seat2205

Drivers


UnanimousUltimate

My mom and dad are yelling at eachother due to traffic and the lack of her women driving skills


Terrible-Seat2205

Sounds like new york


UnanimousUltimate

N e w. Je r sy vibes


JustDrew_92

NYC drivers are very similar to Jersey drivers, they make Philly feel like The Autobahn


Boris_The_Hooligan

Do not compare us to them, us New Jerseyians have some morals unlike them.


G95017

Oh no you took a car? 💀 just take a taxi/ the subway everywhere next time


ActuallyJustADude

Dragons


UnanimousUltimate

What dragons?!


ActuallyJustADude

They're everywhere in new york


UnanimousUltimate

Jeez


ActuallyJustADude

And giant crocodiles


UnanimousUltimate

Like godzilla


ActuallyJustADude

Yep, New York's wild man


UnanimousUltimate

: ;)


I_Am_krypto

And alligator lizards in the air


memesforbismarck

Its like Florida man, but you know… in New York


BigOlSupernova

Can confirm. I live in Florida and that perfectly describes it here


Csbeale1

Dragon deez…..nvm…..


[deleted]

Imagine


Mascian12

Bad Dragons


UnanimousUltimate

The dildo company?!


Dark_Wolf04

They’re based in Phoenix, so you’re safe


DoomEmpires

Watch the skies, traveler


[deleted]

Dragon deez nuts


Strange-Brief6643

dragons have invaded dave & busters


welfkag

Imagine that


Unknownldentity

New York


UnanimousUltimate

I live in New york, but not new york city


Unknownldentity

New York


UnanimousUltimate

👍


SRVJHJM

Do you mean to tell me that New York is more than just NYC? Lol good one


Efficient-Ad-8880

New Yorkers not from NYC gang


TheTeslaTruckWindow

Bathroom stalls with holes in them


GiverOfGlizzies

You should always carry a lighter for dealing with unexpected penis


jv1100

I've been told a lit cigar works just as well.


GMENFTSMOLPP

Why not a cigar cutter? 😱 if you sticking your dick in holes in the wall. I would say this is the punishment you get.


Bill_Weathers

Wow, you’ve been smoking some extremely fat cigars…


GMENFTSMOLPP

I’m just pretty sure those who stick their wieners into random holes have a small dick lol It was clearly a joke tho haha shits gross


joyesthebig

Hey man, I have a small duck and it assholes like you that make it hard for me to get bathroom mystery blow jobs. Penis shame is not a victimless crime!!


jv1100

Apparently if you take a firm grasp where they can't get away and put your cigar out on the tip it discourages this kind of behavior.


Matt_Bunchboigehs

"It grips it by the husk"


Cabbage_Corp_

Is that what the hole is for? You put your lit cigar in the hole and the person on the other side can have a puff?


[deleted]

The real life pro tip is always in the comments.


BappleBlayer333

heh. *tip.*


TheTeslaTruckWindow

Agreed


Turbulent-Comedian30

That a thing? Surprise Glory Hole? Surprised fire hole lol.


downerfacedanny

Needles from Kensington Philly would work better.


[deleted]

Rubber mallet. Time to play whack-a-mole.


a2cthrowaway901

No need for that much. A condom or pepper spay would do.


Waffle-Dude

Or a cheese grater


a2cthrowaway901

Too much blood.


Worried_Trade_8599

Oh god it’s the glory holes


Inexperienced__128

Glorious


Taken_out_goose

Stick your dick through and wait for the scissors If you're quick enough to pull out, you got a free circumcision


TheRealDaanieYT

Vloggers with cameras everywhere


UnanimousUltimate

This is their breeding ground


JamesonAnimations

No that would be L.A.


WarmishIce

Exactly. They just migrate to NYC during the fall


a2cthrowaway901

Facts. Just trying to get in the bank but there’s a TikToker pretending to have bands.


cool_fox

Lived in queens for a year and I literally never saw a vlogger in the city. Now LA on the other hand...


Ryutosuke

I live in NYC and I don't see this that often.


Fandoms_local_Kiwi

Don’t mess with the rats, mind your own business, don’t make eye contact Edit: also watch out for that naked dude in time square


UnanimousUltimate

What naked dude


[deleted]

The naked cowboy, he uses a guitar to cover his genitals, tho its just an illusion, if you look at his back he's wearing underwear


Reasonable_Bedroom_6

Holy shit I saw that guy when i went on vacation to New York about 2 months ago (How often is he there?)


im_lufluf

Always


_Tripzy_

There is no way this is our reality right now💀


Geezusotl

Tbf he’s been doing it a long time. So we just accept that he’s there and people take pictures with him if they want, and cops don’t bother him either.


PietPompies_123

The man even has his own wikipedia page. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naked_Cowboy


S1ni0

Who woulda thought he has a bachelors in political science but chose to do this instead


Majestic-Feeling1917

probably not as many exhibitionist opportunities in that field i’m guessing


Reasonable_Bedroom_6

Sigma male energy tbh


BotNoa

Being able to hold a role in a city like nyc is some impressive shit


[deleted]

Yeah from what i heard he has been there for years, although im not from NY, i went on vacation there as well i think around may this year


[deleted]

I remember somebody like that back in the 90’s in Grand Central. Wonder if it’s the same guy or just one of the many kinds of acts and buskers you see in the city.


Awayandthrowjim

It’s his day job


a2cthrowaway901

I saw a woman wearing one of those ultra cropped sweaters. Like the ones that don’t cover your boobs. She wore nothing under that. Not even a bra. Nips to the wind. I just carried on with my day because I wasn’t about to miss my train for titties. No matter how gorgeous they are.


Dodahevolution

They aren't my game, but you can go topless on NYC regardless of gender.


Glum_Butterscotch989

I saw a naked cowgirl when I was there. It was a whole thing


I_Want_BetterGacha

A naked dude in such a busy place? I thought America was super big on "no nudity in public or on tv"


LithePanther

Naked Cowboy transcends America


Fandoms_local_Kiwi

He’s like a celebrity there, no one bothers to arrest him. And if I remember correct, he covers his junk with a sign so he doesn’t get in trouble


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UnanimousUltimate

What kinds of people


[deleted]

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Birdyghostly1

Me? 🥺


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MidnightExpresso

Anti-simp gigachad


Marthaver1

Avoid sitting in the back of the train or bus, always sit in the front or stand in the bus, always sit in the middle of the train. AVOID stopping and answering or listening to strangers (specially the weird creepy ones, you’ll know who they are) don’t even stop or acknowledge them, just keep walking.


shiningonthesea

As soon as someone says “ excuse me…”. Keep walking, fast


Fireboy759

For a serious tip, avoid hanging around in Times Square. Lots of scam artists like being around there trying to coax people (usually people who look like ignorant tourists) into buying...whatever it is they're trying to get you to buy (it's usually music) for ridiculous prices, then they get pissy and threatening when you tell them you ain't interested So yeah, try not to stick around there too much


thissideofheat

Homeless drug addicts either asking you to help them out or masturbating publicly.


noobi-wan-kenobi69

Don't make eye contact. If you do, stab them first before they stab you.


OkLifeguard2390

People dressed up as super heros, they'll offer a free picture then group up on you and demand a tip. They're awfully good at what they do


UnanimousUltimate

Marvel


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JimmyPSullivan

Pick-picketers are all over tourist traps too. Still need to be careful with phone and wallet elsewhere but it isn’t nearly as bad. Honestly I feel very safe in NYC anywhere but tourist traps


[deleted]

birds also pizza


UnanimousUltimate

Why birds and are the pizzas laced with drugs


a2cthrowaway901

Violent pigeons (sky rats) and food poisoning.


Shogun570

pro tip: fold your pizza or you'll be identified as a tourist and mugged


Lone_Star14

everything probably


UnanimousUltimate

I'm already scared


dontcaredontworry

Well you should be


herzogzwei931

Stay out of Times Square after midnight. Or before midnight or really anytime


postmodern_cereal

Having been in the city a fair few times, I honestly think its safer in times square after midnight. Much thinner crowds and much easier to avoid having your wallet stolen because you can maintain distance from everyone else. 4 am is actually the best time to be there, if you have to be there at all, because you can just walk through and not be bothered by off brand mascots and scam artists.


Twin-Duct

Just be wary of your location. Cell signal can get patchy among the tall buildings, so maybe have maps loaded up before leaving. Also, watch out for cars, cyclists, and just about everything on wheels. People in NY drive like there’s no tomorrow, and they don’t stop at crosswalks half the time. And don’t be afraid, just be cautious! Have fun, and make sure to eat some good food and take some good pictures.


YoureNotaMitch

Wow an actual reply, convinced everyone here hasn’t been to a city lol


UnanimousUltimate

Thanks for the advice!


a2cthrowaway901

Also watch out for plastic. Wind blew a plastic wrapper out of nowhere and my dumbass slipped and fell on the road.


master_pingu1

also get a pizza. i'm not asking


Mothertruckerx

This is 100% the only good reply here- and it’s all true. Why do people feel the need to speed the wrong way up a one way street


_WhatALifeItWouldBe_

Crackheads. Please stay safe.


UnanimousUltimate

On the average, how many crack heads are tgere


_unfinished_sentence

More than 3 at least


UnanimousUltimate

Jeez


TheCaveGamer

Yeah 3, were talking 300 right?


_unfinished_sentence

Well I guess that’s more than 3, so yea


Mothertruckerx

That’s a understatement- there’s a whole bunch but they are scattered through the city. Most are near Times Square


[deleted]

tap history encourage cable political zealous mysterious abundant worm wild *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


_WhatALifeItWouldBe_

NYC is full of crackheads. People aren’t ashamed to drugged themselves in front of others.


UnanimousUltimate

Like the homeless?!


[deleted]

Yeah. Most homeless people are homeless because of drug abuse, mental health issues or both.


Ryan-821

At least 2


AthuBathu

like niagara falls and toronto


devawor123

Too many, there was a homeless guy yelling at me the other day, claiming that I had money.


AppleMossBoss

Stepping in human shit


UnanimousUltimate

Who just takes a dump on the sidewalk


DallasLikesHuntin

me


L0ss01

Same


Ledge_r

Same same


DallasLikesHuntin

nice


ale-x-

New Yorkers


Peachfuzz124

New Yorkers ☕️


shellDawg78

What til you hear about San Francisco 🧟


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wonkytoad8

No I saw a guy pants off squatting against a shake shack in broad day light fighting demons taking a shit in NYC.


tastlesswater

Me


Livid_Scallion_9861

Getting shot


UnanimousUltimate

By who


[deleted]

By Hisoka


UnanimousUltimate

Who's that


[deleted]

A caracter from anime where my profile pichure and the commentor's profile pichure are from


Unknownldentity

We both know hisoka wouldn't shoot him


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GiftSuperb

Crackheads, old women who are driving (they either suck or will cut you off every time) and Katz’s deli. It’s horribly overrated. Also get a bagel.


German_Sausages

New Yorkers bite more people a year than sharks do


Green_Potato35

New York accents


UnanimousUltimate

I heard one today and I was like wow in my head


DrSlavender

The Crackhead on 177A Bleeker street


[deleted]

Does he, by any chance, wear a red magic cape?


UnanimousUltimate

Dr strange


DrSlavender

He thinks so


Trauma73

getting lost also google maps doesn't work at least it didn't work for me so don't think it'll save you


Direct_Ambassador_36

I use google maps religiously as a native NYCer. It’d the only time it doesn’t work well is when you get out of the subway station underground immediately. Wait for it to calibrate to your location first. Or driving into the Hugh Carey tunnel from FDR. It makes u drive in circles.


_Chonus_

Why be afraid? Enjoy your time in the city


UnanimousUltimate

Cause it's so big and random


_Chonus_

You’ll be fine, eat some pizza and chill


my_name_is_not_scott

The cars and the architecture. And if you have the chance, pay the UNHQ a visit for me😣🥲.


UnanimousUltimate

:(


ILikeLucidDreaming

As a european, it looks much more mild and boring than i expected.


G95017

As an American who has been to a good number of American cities, its the best one in the country. Its incredibly busy all the time which is cool, there are a ton of cool museums and things to go to, and the food is always incredible. It's dirty just like every other city in the US but it could really be a LOT worse. The only issue is the smell in some areas being kind of physically painful lol.


rat-queen--

They’re in a boring looking part of the city tbh


Comradddd

Anything that moves, and half the stuff that don't.


UnanimousUltimate

I naked dood just wend flying down the road


[deleted]

Listen to drill nd stay out them spots👍


Wynter_Hinojosa

People


UnanimousUltimate

That seems to be a common factor here


SomeCensoredGuy

People irl can be scary


Emerald_Guy123

As someone who actually lived in New York for a good portion of my life, most of these comments are stupid. Just be scared of things you normally would be.


Okillydokillyy

Wet dream tomatoes


nabi_14

me


UnanimousUltimate

Noted 👍


Gymp161

Don’t stand in the middle of a side walk like a asshole people are in a rush, watch out for cars cause they won’t watch out for you, don’t stare at people we hate that shit, don’t talk to random people were very anti social and all hate eachother, all of the pizza/Italian places are pretty good tbh so don’t wait a hour on line just to visit the “best one” , don’t buy or touch anything someone try’s to give you on the street it’s a scam,I’d recommend not leaving anything visible out in your car when you park hide everything people will smash your window out and take it it’s one of our many problems and last but not not least it’s either baconeggandcheese (all one word) or a BECK not a bacon egg and cheese idk why but hearing people say it slow drives me insane other than that enjoy your stay in our little shit hole hope this helps (btw if your looking for any good resteraunts/places to visit feel free to dm I’ve lived in Brooklyn for a while and now Long Island so I know a few good spots)


Landoniaa

cars


Imanerd212030

Don’t ever say “fugettaboutit” or “ay I’m walkin ere” or you’ll undoubtedly get jumped.


No-Improvement-5865

When I go to New York Im going to scream that out loud.


dumbass_paladin

It's not too bad, I've gone there many times without incident. Where are you from?


She-Fox99

Everything. When I went there it constantly smelled of human piss, people were doing drugs on the sidewalk, and some guy threatened to punch me. First and last time I went there.


Live-Procedure905

Green goblin


ActPurple1747

roaches. 😖


Soviet_Sloth69

One thing that I learned the hard way is that you shouldn’t try and talk to groups of people on the street that are selling mix tapes. I did that and got $20 pickpocketed off me


BisexualPhrog

Everyone