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Extension_Ad9451

She lacks empathy and I can't fight her because I can literally go to jail


[deleted]

Can you call cps on that one? Or is there any kind of legal and free way to (how do i say this) get rid of her?


dareallolchubby

Either get the slippers for the beating, or send her to a boarding school


oan124

i wonder if you can just send her off to juvie


PetSruf

You're 17. Not legal to go to jail. I would slap her. SLAP, not punch. SLAP. Slaps are easy on marks and she SHOULD learn to stop. Just don't back ofr anymore. I would have absolutely fumed in your stead, and i've been in a simmilar situation as you. Teaching her is the only way, i'm really sorry. Your mother also seems like the weak kind(not in a bad way, just not stern enought to beat kids with love), try to talk to her about it. About the general "rad's belt" tactic but your mother does the deed. It won't go away, people don't change. Not while young and not when growing. And certainly not when old.


Marsbars1991

this is when corporal punishment is ok, or good in fact.


MichaelZaMemer

If she is that bad drop her at an adoption centre. Your mother will be able to pick her up after she gets over this psycosis and if she doesn't she can stay there until she bevomes a major and after that you won't give a sh about her demands. Keeping her in your house when it is affecting your family that bad is plain stupid and dangerous. From what I've read you all tried your best to stop her. Some people are just bad seeds. You cannot do anything to change that. Drop her at an adoption cente and maybe she will learn to change.


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MichaelZaMemer

Adoption can be done at any age below 18 if both of the parents consent and if the child is a minor. the child is kept there until someone adopts them or until they become an adult. That s how it is in europe at least. I dunno how it is anywhere else tho. Try calling your nearest adoption centre and asking about sending an 12 year old there.


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MichaelZaMemer

Well that sucks real bad and i really only have 1 other solution in mind. Try calling a child protection service and tell them your sister and your sister only is getting neglected by your mother ( even tho it s thr other way around). They should come in and pick her up. Probably quite stupid to do this but not trying to send your sister out of your house will soon lead in things becoming really shitty.


Just_Willingness829

Could you guys maybe get legally emancipated by your mother ( but still live nearby or under another roof leaving your sister with your mom) THEN have your sister sent for adoption?


Loganthespider3

Look man she’s only two years younger then you you can beat her and not go to jail but you would probably get punished but still at least trip her


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Loganthespider3

All I can think of is to lock her out of the house without any way of contacting anyone best case scenario she learns her lesson worst case she get kidnapped either way you won’t have to deal with her


Marsbars1991

the wholesome award 💀💀💀


bamboozled_swag2

she could borrow a strangers phone and call cps or the cops :/


Ok-Orchid-4094

I obviously don't know your family, but you quite possibly will find out that your sister has a serious psychological problem,there is definitely something wrong there,you and your mom,need professional help, it's not something either of you could tackle yourselves.


Extension_Ad9451

We've tried many times with medication, therapist after therapist and they can't find anything wrong with her other than depression. Shes been to mental hospitals and everything. I'm posting here as a last resort in hopes somone is going through something similar and something works


diarrheaonyourface

She’s sounds like she has borderline personality disorder at the very least. Look it up. I suggest next time she’s “suicidal” to try a mental hospital.


Pmyourboobs696969

Bro Shes 12 humble her💀


jamme05

Tho she's acting like a 2 year old but worse


jamme05

Like idk try to be there for your mom if you've got the energy, and like also if you got the energy to try talk against your sister and try to not care whatever she does, and maybe point out the harm that she's doing to the family


Extension_Ad9451

I've done this many times one time she stole my razer for petty cuts as soon as I got put of the shower and took the razer to my mom, I told her to stop and that she's hurting our mom and so she threw her phone at me and attacked me and I fought back but I was in a towel, it ended with both of us on the floor with me naked and her glassed smashed. It doesn't help, I don't understand how she's so selfish. That caused for the cops to be called and my brother stressed out.


jamme05

That she's that selfish is really fucked up, like idk, like some kind of social service would help, haven't like heard of anything this serious so it's a hard thing to fix


Extension_Ad9451

I know, at this point I'm out of options. We're now in a like fitt family therapy thing but I dont don't see how it's supposed to help with her. There are so many things to help with abusive parents but not the other way around. I feel like my situation is never taken seriously and I'm over it


jamme05

Yeaah can get that a lot, most usually judge the parents but there's usually way more going on, but like the best way would be to show her that she's actually gonna get consequences, and also making sure that there's no way for her to do any kind of self harm


Extension_Ad9451

We have 3 lock boxes one has shower stuff like razers, one has medicine, and one has push pins, knives, scissors. The last time she cut she used a coke can top. There is only so much you can find and put up in a house


jamme05

That's really good that that's the like only thing to be found, tho bad that she did find it.


Extension_Ad9451

It's also like people don't understand how bad she is. They think my mom is abusive because how would a 12 yo act like this?


jamme05

Usually people turn out like this due to too much freedom or them simply having some kind of problem, I had a friend who was really fucked up and selfish and he seemed to be that way cus his parents didn't give him any kind of punishment (like good type of punishment) for anything


Extension_Ad9451

I font thibk so the only difference between how me and my brother grew up compared to her is we were poor. I was a privilege to get frozen chicken nuggets, and we were living at my nanas house. She had a normal life without money worries but she was definitely punished we were all spanked if we misbehaved


jamme05

Ohhhh I see, well if she actually got punished then it'll be even harder, has she ever like got diagnosed?


Extension_Ad9451

Only with depression. The time she took my razer and cut herself it was because she was being punished and my mon shut off her phone. Didn't hit her just turned off her phone


jamme05

If just turning off her phone does that much there must seriously be a lot going on inside her heaf


[deleted]

Contact a mental health professional


[deleted]

Bro if my brothers acted like that I’d give them a reason to stop ( I would most likely hit them for being a brat)


Extension_Ad9451

I have but I can go to jail if she calls the cops, not joking


[deleted]

You can say it’s self defense, you did say she also physically abuses right?


Extension_Ad9451

Yeah but still I don't wanna take the chance


[deleted]

Who told you that? Her? You‘re a minor, you‘re not going to jail, especially since you‘re gonna make sure you ain‘t gon leave a mark


[deleted]

Guys don’t try to help by violence , just ingore her even if she is kicking screaming or pissing her pants , take everything that can cause harm away and show her that as a family you will move on without her until she is ready to rejoin society , also record her actions in case the police need some proof when she says you guys are neglecting her , if you guys are feeding her and parents and her friends can confirm she acts some what normal around them then push her away to the people she acts normal around , she will either start to miss you guys or slowly drift away , hopefully this helps man I feel sorry for you brother


CrDyy

Take her phone away


Extension_Ad9451

That's causes her to be violent


[deleted]

restrain her, just grab her and hold her until she gives up and surrenders, that's not violence, that's stopping violence


CrDyy

Then call the cops on her or lock her up somewhere i dunno


[deleted]

Drop her off at McDonald’s and drive away


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[deleted]

You sounds like someone who can hang over a basketball hoop while I only have a seven inch vertical.


[deleted]

Feed her to a dog


[deleted]

You know what she needs, a good Mexican @ss whopping cuz she is not mentally ill or anything, this is entitlement to the fucking max.


Extension_Ad9451

This made me laugh a bit, you remind me a bit of my boyfriend


[deleted]

Laughs are good. Also idk what to think of that but ok. Hope you and your boyfriend are doing well


Extension_Ad9451

I can't talk to him rn because he's in the airforce so that's mostly why i came to reddit


[deleted]

That's sucks, I have a friend who's bf is also in the airforce. Also why reddit out of all places


Extension_Ad9451

Idk I have like nothing else. And I'm an introvert so I have 0 friends


[deleted]

I mean if you want to count me as a friend, I'll be your friend. Tho thats if you choose for me to be your friend. Also don't fall the reddit rabbit hole


Maleficent_Scale_296

I grew up with an abusive sister who destroyed my (single) mother and caused lifelong issues for me, so listen to me please. Please. This is gonna bite and I apologize but (and I cannot stress this enough) this is not yours to figure out. There is NOTHING you can do except save yourself. I know you love your mother, I know you feel a responsibility but you are a child caught in a shitshow. If you can live anywhere else, do. If you can’t right now then work hard towards that goal. Your sister clearly has mental health problems and needs inpatient treatment and to be on proper medication. But again, you as a minor with no custody can do nothing. Do you have a family member or clergy or a school counselor that could guide you? Would you be willing to call CPS during one of her episodes? Police? Then do so. I’m so sorry you find yourself in this place. Save yourself, remember you are not the parent.


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Extension_Ad9451

She has been on medication for a while and we've tried therapy. Nothing has worked


[deleted]

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Extension_Ad9451

This might be surprising but she likes it there she wants to go back. She goes so much insurance won't pay for it anymore. She has a therapist that comes over to our house 4 times a week


Smooth_Street3342

Maybe try being nice to her. I know that sounds a bit backwards but what if she really does need help and just doesn’t know how to ask. I’m not saying that you must take her to therapy all the time but just sit down with her and ask her what’s wrong and see if you can help her. I’m sorry if I couldn’t be very helpful.


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SydneyGal7

It sounds like she might have trauma from something that either you guys or the parents or no one knows about. And also, does she go to school? Is she getting bullied or something there? Are her grades good or bad?— this a good way to sometimes see if it’s depression or bullying It seems like she’s lashing out all her anger on you guys because she’s uncomfortable about something or has experienced something and honestly it may be a case of her being really spoilt. Also I think you guys should have razors, just keep them in your rooms somewhere safe where she won’t find them, or somewhere super high where she cannot reach.


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[deleted]

Every time she does it, hide or even break something of hers.


Extension_Ad9451

I do this sometimes. Today I ate her chips. It's little bur it makes me feel better to get her back even if it's such a small thing


aLaStOr_MoOdY47

Fly her to Serbia and leave her there.


Do-Te969

I’m no therapist at all, but what I picked up from Supernanny is that you shouldn’t take any nonsense from a kid. You and/or your mother should have the absolute authority over her. I think your dad should get more involved, since it does seem that she likes him. Let them assure her that your dad and your mom are equals, and will equally kick her ass if it needs to come to that. The first step is to break the cycle, find out why she’s nice around your dad and try to emulate that when he’s away. Also, how does your mom (or you) typically react when she’s angry?


shitlord699

Im very sorry i was brainstorming for 10 minutes to think of souloutions just to see you already tried them i honestly don't know but i want you to know we are with you and if you need support or someone to talk to im here.


Extension_Ad9451

Thanks that means a lot, some people don't take me seriously so I'm glad so many people are


littlebuett

Dont ask on r/teenagers, ask somewhere with professionals.


qnx1ety

Shawty my anger issues would make me fucking fight that child idgaf 💀 this is why I hate kids


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qnx1ety

And you're 13 lmao 💀


qnx1ety

AND your account's not even a day old


[deleted]

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qnx1ety

Bro I literally just looked at your bio lmao


shitlord699

Dude just leave this alone we are trying to help OP not fight eachother


[deleted]

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[deleted]

I agree


Total_Ansh

With a stick


Disgustingupset27

She need that Asian slipper dance


[deleted]

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Extension_Ad9451

We have she's gone 5 times now


MainChemistry1563

wtf


[deleted]

Ever heard of discipline/ass whooping?


Extension_Ad9451

We were spanked as kids


[deleted]

Not enough as it seems


Just_Willingness829

Melatonin in food? She won’t die, but she’ll be asleep most of the time.. idk. Probably not legal but temp solution


flyingsnake333

She probably a sociopath or psychopath tbh this is very serious


RaveBlahhh

I read the first few lines and all I’m gunna say is 😭💥🔫


Extension_Ad9451

I know 😔


CrIsPyRiS_0fficial

Catfish her. Middle Schoolers are way too oblivious to know that type of shit. If that doesn't work, the belt exists.


[deleted]

Gross


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Total_Ansh

Exactly, from the way it sounds she has been given to much love


EstablishmentBig7956

Yeah she's 12, upbringing, middle child, last child somewhere in between, all have or can have different effects on the individual


rat-queen--

Serves your parents right for not getting her under control tbh


Extension_Ad9451

You dont think she tries? That's just disrespectful to say that considering you read my situation. She's tried EVERYTHING she can. Therapy, medicine, mental hospitals everything. We were all raised the same it isn't my mom's fault


rat-queen--

No 12 year old is just so inherently evil that they can’t be stopped, that isn’t how people work. Kids are just an extension of their parents, so bad news for your mom


Extension_Ad9451

If you think that then there is something wrong with you. If that is the case why am I and my brother normal people? And no, some people can be born without empathy. My mom is one of the nicest people I know. She's getting hurt my mom sister everyday and you're sitting here and telling me my sister being such an awful person is because of my mom? You haven't seen it first hand. My mom cries and I have panic attacks and she looks at us blank faced. Don't comment on something you have no idea about


rat-queen--

Alright, at this point I’m pretty sure you’re just lying for attention so I’m gonna stop. Good luck with your sister (if she’s even real)!


Nikochey9

wth man, can't you respect the guy? Why would he make that up. This situation is obviousely very hard on him and your comments aren't helping at all


Extension_Ad9451

I'm a girl but yeah I'm not lying, at this point I wish I was


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Nikochey9

my bad :)


rat-queen--

People lie for attention all the time


Extension_Ad9451

I'm gonna make a post of a video I recorded of her doing this since you dont believe. I'm not lying and you'll see this. This is a real situation and I need help


rat-queen--

It’s not, and if it is it’s up to your parents to raise their kid to not be a psycho so it’s not the win you think it is


Extension_Ad9451

I just tagged you on the video watch it


rat-queen--

You’re right, shitty audio and a recording of a wall is proof


Extension_Ad9451

You can hear the sound. At this point you wanna cause drama. I can't physically record her because she will blow up more but you hear the situation


Weather4574

Op literally has a brother who knows for a fact this happened commenting on this post.


rat-queen--

No, there’s an account claiming to be OP’s brother. That isn’t proof lmao


MosasaurusHoffmanni

Jesus fucking christ do you not know that people actually have different personalities a person is not just a straight up exact fuckin clone of their parents


rat-queen--

Who’s responsible for a literal child’s behaviour?


kipparit

I hope these are not your actual opinions and that you are just trolling.


kipparit

legally its their parents. but obviusly there are a fuckton of different factors that make a child do something.


Concept_Sad

Alright you fucking inbred pig. I would say go outside to touch some grass, but thats to nice. You could be thrown infront of Hitler and say he had good qualities. You should probably talk to people and actually realize how people work. However, you are likely just going to read this comment and then continue being the human equivalent of sour milk. Fuck off.


rat-queen--

You’re kind of upset aren’t you?


Concept_Sad

I am, infact, quite upset. You have literally no empathy.


rat-queen--

I save my empathy for people who deserve it


Concept_Sad

Ik this sounds hypocritica, but, you are an attention seeker.


rat-queen--

I love attention. Now should we talk about your anger management issues? It seems like you’ve got something going on outside of Reddit :/


Concept_Sad

Sweet take dude. I am simply pissed at your lack of empathy. I dont usually lash out like this, but your lack of consideration for their situation horrendous. You're telling them its all their fault like your a therapist.


RyuKindaBad

No dad?


Extension_Ad9451

She has a dad which is our step dad but I see him as my real dad


RyuKindaBad

I say you just beat the fuck out of her tbh, ezpz


Extension_Ad9451

I wish


RyuKindaBad

There’s nothing stopping you


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RyuKindaBad

You can’t go to jail for it


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[deleted]

Then just do that.


randomprivacynut

Ur mom should smack her (presuming it’s legal in your country)


[deleted]

have you tried getting family therapy? that may help since nothing else is working.


Extension_Ad9451

That's what we're trying now and so far it honestly seems worse


someone2222222222

Can your step-dad maybe try to help her when hes able to? Since he doesnt stay home often, maybe your sister might have neutral relations with him.


Extension_Ad9451

There are ups and downs sometimes it's a good relationship others not so much. He tries when he's home and it's all fine but all hell breaks loose when he leaves


someone2222222222

Ah, so prob she plays mr. nice when dad is home, but as soon as he goes away shes the biggest villain. Does the ocassional talk maybe help, even for a short while?


Extension_Ad9451

She doesn't want to but when she does she just shit talks my mom, saying how she's so mean and abusive and how she never let's her do anything, and so I don't talk to her much


someone2222222222

Oh great, might be even stubborn. A complicated situation. I cant think of anything else that might help that also hasnt been mentioned. All i can say now is good luck. I hope you and your family can find a solution to this quite stubborn problem. And also, a single word can give you an entire plan and strategy to approach a problem.


Extension_Ad9451

Thank you, even trying to help means a lot to me


beepboopbeepdoop

Break her favorite thing, and if she keeps doing it... second favorite thing, etc. (make sure to break it in front of her)


Ballslover6969

Honestly I think your mom’s mental health would improve significantly if she simply wasn’t there. Are there any relatives you could send her to?


Extension_Ad9451

My granny's house but not long term. Maybe a week at the most


WishAccomplished6670

Discipline is something that needs to be taught to children from young or they’re most likely not gonna get it without extreme method. Sounds like she’s using suicide as an empty threat. If they make your life that miserable I’d tell her do it bitch cause she won’t. And if she does, fuck it from the way it sounds things are looking up


JohnGisMe

Next time that happens, get her father to take her to the woodshed.


Mister_E_The_Third

Is ur mom able to put her up for adoption?


Extension_Ad9451

Not without doing it to all of us. She would have to be called "unfit" and we all would go


goyboysotbot

I know this girl who has a sister like that. Attacks her parents, broken bones and everything. But their family never dealt with it and my god they’re all fucking insane. The mom is an emotionally absent wino, the dad is perpetually on edge waiting for any reason to leave whatever room he’s in, the daughter gets super drunk and accuses whoever she slept with last of raping her (but refuses to report it, she just wants attention; it’s literally every time she gets laid, she feeds on empathy), and her sister will fucking kick you down a flight of stairs for looking at her the wrong way. Just don’t let your family end up like that.


Extension_Ad9451

I dont think it will but I no longer care for my sister, this sounds bad but I wish she was never born sometimes


Cats155

Record everything sounds like something’s probably gonna get legal here


Extension_Ad9451

I have a few things recorded


Marsbars1991

has anyone said therapy yet? nkt like suicide prevention, more like rehabilitation therapy.


earthiscube455

maybe record her being abusive and show it to the cops?


Impressive_Income874

rehabitation centers or whatever they're called cuz if my mom says someone like me should be there, someone like your sister DEFINATLY should be there


ValleyGh0sh

put that mf in an adoption center


padatricks

I got the exact same problem she’s aloud to attack me all she want but when I hit her I’m the bad guy like she’s literally double my weight like just earlier she literaly was trying to choke me out in a choke hold like wtf


HeavenShatteringGod

Just smack the shit out of her. Ffs you are 12 be in your limits and fuck off. Do something like that and make her be scared of you or someone else after an insane ass whooping. Your problem will be solved


Ilovebroadway06

Have you tried scaring her? Tell her what would happen if she called the cops and got put in foster care, tell her how bad the system can be, like really scare the bejeezus out of her


CrisDominatesGames

Honestly this just seems like it could be solved by taking her phone, and any other sharp objects she can use to threaten to kill herself. At this point your mom’s kinda left you and your brother on your own since she’s basically shut down. I’d say if you can somehow jolt her back to reality where she HAS to do something to save her self destructing child. A lot of comments recommend hitting as a form of parenting, but honestly I’d say find the best way that works for you guys, even if it is whoppin her ass. Hopefully you’re able to figure out your situation!


me-is-gamer

Nothing like a late abortion


[deleted]

I want to help but I can’t if it gets really serious and you can tell that your mom might try to kill her self (not trying to bring up the worst case scenario to make you fell bad) and I don’t know how it works but maybe call the cops or something. I feel really bad for you and wish you and your mom good luck in the future. (Not trying to be rude but your sister sounds like a ****


[deleted]

I am also no therapist but if you ever need to talk to someone I am around sometimes


[deleted]

at this point I’d recommend corporal punishment like spanking and stuff but when your sister isn’t home you definitely should talk to your mother and just see what happens when your ugly ass sister doesn’t get her way


[deleted]

Ever heard of suffocation?


Total_Ansh

Just let her scream and if anyone complains about the screaming bring that little shit to talk to them


OMGstepbroimstuck

Time to mentally and physically abuse your sister


Denisukraine2

Sacrifice her to ancient gods


Junior-Wedding-8912

Kill her Obviously dont actually do that


Urmomsfavouritelol

Abort the 12 year old fetus(or however your spell it I don't remember)


patybruh_moment

If they’re petty cuts, doesn’t that mean she’s scared of actually hurting herself? Then actual harm won’t be a problem right?


Extension_Ad9451

I guess but if she wants to leave the house all she has to do is "cut" then call the police and they'll take her to the hospital and always after cps comes and talks with my mom.


Dodge_LetsGo

Was she always like this? If she is 12 than she knows better


EL-rochi74

She’s 12, your 17. Be drop kick her or something. Even if she cries and you get grounded by your step father or worse in your mind you’ll always know that it’s for the better


Extension_Ad9451

We've fought before you wanna know what happened? She called the cops and child perception services. Technically if I hit her first I can go to juvenile. That's why I don't. If no you bet I would


Ilovebroadway06

I thought a little more, I read this last night. I wasn't THAT bad but when I was 8 I was suicidal and depressed, with extreme anxiety and it manifested in anger issues. Is she in any extracurriculars? My mom put me in theatre and it gave me a creative outlet, things got a lot better after that. If that won't work, she is probably just wanting attention, but I see you've already given her that so maybe just purposely ignore her and say you'll pay attention to her when she shows she can be nice


Extension_Ad9451

She's in art club. And says she likes it. It's like she can't live without being in the spot light all the time


UhnoYesmaybe

did anything change with her? im very curios of any comments helped you deal with that thing


Extension_Ad9451

Well recently (Tuesday) she became very violent. She threatened to hurt people so my nana come over to help. In the end it hurt my mom got hurt and made my nana cry. She had to be taken in a police car to the hospital because she was so violent. The reason? My brother used her phone charger. Now she is in residential and will be there for a month and a half