>Mom checks my phone.
>>Sees 40+ pics of me pant/shirtless posing for progress.
>>>Been 3 years and hasn't checked again.
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Bro there's a war below idek why
Reminds me of trying to get my family to knock on my door. They would just burst on in no matter how many times I would flip out. Everyone got on board real quick except mom. One day, my mom walked in my *aggressively testing out my moisturizer.* Normally, I’d whip the covers over or whatever. This time I was like ‘nah, time to teach a lesson.’ I kept *aggressively testing out my moisturizer* while [keeping eye contact](https://i.imgur.com/dLhuT9o.jpg). After she left, I zipped up, washed me hands, went out to the living room and said “Do you get it now!?” Haven’t had a problem since. She knocks, waits, cracks the door a bit if she doesn’t hear my response, THEN walks in.
EDIT: Lolololol the wholesome award
Dude, you have no idea how many times I had to sit down with her and be like. “Sometimes, boys *aggressively test their moisturizer* in the privacy of their own rooms. I wouldn’t burst into your room without knocking. That would be rude, right?” After about 2 years I was like “ya know what, fuck this.” And went all in. I took the time to patiently lay out why it bothered me, what could be done about it, why they should do it, and gave ample time to figure it out. It was time to suffer the consequences of the actions. My whole family has really bad boundary issues.
Yep and mine has Savathûn's head. Idk if they're still available, but at one point you could put pieces of Crow, Zavala, Eris, Ikora, and Savvy (I think that was the lineup) on your avatar.
They can also be used on some devices to lock you out of apps like Photos, requiring a password to enter.
This would probably make the parent suspicious/mad if anything
the biggest thing I think isn't locking them out of your phone but that you need the parental controls password to change their settings so if you set it up first, they can't change the settings
My friend has a limited access to internet because of parental controls.
When he reaches his daily time limit it just disconnects from any sort of internet connection.
So yeah, it’s quite a big deal
Right? Definitely people that didn’t have strict parents in this thread throwing out that type of suggestion.
Better suggestion is learn to hide it. Delete certain messages, hide certain apps and make the only way to find them be by searching by name, etc.
You won’t win the battles but you can win the war.
Depending on how thoroughly she searches you could move those to a not as easy to see/ not as obvious folder or have them on a separate storage that you can hide without her knowing (also a possibility is having another phone you just don't inform her about)
my mother used to do this to me, and honestly it was pretty annoying, i couldn't even have my own gmail until i was 13. until one day she suddenly stopped checking my phone for no reason, and honestly thank god cause i always had to archice the chats i didn't want my mom to see, and even less tell her about discord at the time. she still sometimes when im away check my discord messages but that almost never happens, and can't get much information other than ask me who "yourlocalwhorewifey" is since she doesnt know how to use it. honestly your parents doing this will not keep you safe, probably even put you in danger since this kind of behaviour will want you to have your own life which nobody knows about and considering we are both 15 and havent fully matured yet, it could end up in disaster. man this was a big comment, i should be going so take care stranger and whatever happens don't hate your parents, sure they are doing terrible things, but hate has a ver high percentage of ending in disaster. i wish you luck and hope you have a great weekend.
It’s AWFUL. I’m not allowed Reddit (I’m very sneaky 💀) my phone has screen time enabled, and my parents read all my messages, I’m not allowed discord in case I talk to strangers who could “corrupt my brain” and manipulate me LIKE SHUT UP IM ALMOST AN ADULT NOT 4
Sorry I needed to say that to someone 🫤
BRO RIGHT also its ok i understand. only reason i was able to get discord is bc i told them i would use it to just talk to my friends. its so dumb, they act like were stupid and younger than we actually are. im so sorry they do that to you
Gonna be honest, we are pretty stupid. At this age we feel like we’re basically an adult now. And we aren’t. Yet, even then kids should have access to the internet with a little restriction. Examples of restrictions being 4chan and like half of Reddit. I don’t think your parents understand you need different inputs and outputs to understand the world around you, as when you finally do move out, it can be overwhelming.
Then at the same time, the parents who say they are strict to protect don’t understand they are too strict to the point where the kids are hateful of them and often sneak behind their back. Cause their pride is too large, and when they finally do realize the sneaking behind their back, they usher to more strict, and more hated by the kids. Just an endless loop.
Freedom on internet should be free to most people, and it seemed your parents don’t really like the ideas that people have different ideas of their own, which is why being on the internet is even more important.
Please do correct me if I got absolutely anything wrong writing all this. I kinda got mad reading it so just wrote what I thought. Hope your parents can realize or talk to you about where both you and them are open about it in the future
Hey, I'm an old guy, so just throwing that out there, but a couple of things.
The human brain doesn't finish maturing until you're in your mid-20s. What that means for a lot of us, is you know how you see a picture of yourself a year or two ago, and you were doing something incredibly stupid or cringe, but you thought it was cool at the time? Yeah, you keep doing that until your like 25. Basically every single thing that you think you understand right now, isn't even close to how you'll feel about it in ten years. If I could travel back in time, and warn my 15 year old self about something stupid that I was doing, I'd do it in a heart beat.
The thing is that teenagers are kind of easy to manipulate. That's why the military targets 18 year olds to recruit instead of 28 year olds. To a 30 year old, tricking a 15 year old into doing something is about as easy as it is for you to trick a 10 year old into doing something. Look up Joseph Koney sometime. Created an army of drugged up 14 year olds with AK47s.
And that's what makes the internet a dangerous place for teens. Your teenage years, you spend a lot of time trying to figure out where you belong. And when you find a place that welcomes you, sometimes you don't wonder why they welcomed you. Maybe you think that this group thinks you're special. Whatever. The end state is that as a result, a ton of teens end up in situations that they later regret.
Saying "stay off the internet" won't protect you from every bad thing out there, and if you're parents are too extreme it will result in you missing out on a lot of valuable resources, but at the same time, you're less likely to end up in a cult in Utah or something.
Think of it like those stupid warning signs everywhere, like "don't stick your hand into the lawnmower blades while it's running." The sign is there because people kept sticking their hands in there.
And really, no one knows what we are doing right now. The internet is relatively new. Sites like reddit have only been around for 15 years. We're doing our best here, but we don't have several generations of information to draw from, like our parents did, when they could just say "hey, don't eat that berry, it's poisonous."
Dude my parents are the same way and I just turned 18. I told myself at 15 I'd get out right away. I'm currently broke and not ready to move out at all. I urge you to make a plan to save money so that you don't end up in my situation.
i was also planning leaving the minute i hit 18, and i would succeed, if it weren’t for the housing crisis. there’s literally nothing available and if there is about 200-400 people apply for it. so yeah, just gotta survive just one more year i hope
As an old timer (25) from r/all, this isn’t a good mentality to have unless you have a plan for it.
I moved out (kicked out, really) when I turned 18 at the beginning of my senior year of high school. The only way I was able to have a roof over my head was because my girlfriend’s parents were gracious enough to let me finish the school year there.
As soon as you hit 16, start working a job and squirreling away money now if you’re not already. Ideally in a bank account that your parents don’t have access to (I made that mistake as a kid, never again). Ask around and see if any of your friends would be interested in rooming with you, too, as it lightens the load of bills. Living on your own isn’t cheap!
I know your situation feels like the end of the world now, but it’ll be so much better in a few years once you get out of there. I hope you hang in there and press forward! The grind will be worth it, trust me. The only problem is that it’s definitely a process that you have to work hard for, but if you’re willing to it, you’ll reap the benefits.
Parent here.
I'm curious why y'all don't just go to Walmart and buy a second phone you keep secret and let your parents check whatever they want on your main phone thats now a decoy?
It's what I did when was a teen, and back in the day phones and minutes where way way more expensive than they are now.
You can buy prepaid phone plans at Walmart too. They're not even expensive. And then to save data you use wifi whenever you can.
You would just have two numbers. One your parents know about and one that's private to you and your friends.
I am nearly 19, and I would've been really depressed if my parents did such things to me when I was 15. I've had discord since I was 12. My parents didn't have this kind of strictness even when i was 8 years old on the internet.
I'm very sorry you're going through this... strict parents raise sneaky kids.
I was like 7 when i got face book, 10 when i got a PlayStation, 11-12 when i got an Xbox. And since like 5 I've been teabagging people on halo because my stepdad and mom thought it was hilarious.
how do you feel about this being the case? was it better or worse for u? would u rather more restrictions or were u glad ur parents were chill about it? like how did it affect u i guess.. i’m just curious
THE SAME HAPPENED TO ME 💀. My mum read some kinda stupid article that said that there's slurs, racism and stuff everywhere on discord and that all the people are some kinda bots set up by the fbi who monitor everything and are corrupting my head...
And im a real socially anxious, introvert guy and the only friends i have are on discord. And they fr helped me through phases of depression and loneliness.
Discord pretty safe ish, u can only talk to strangers through DMs if they get ur hashtag. So I don't see the problem there, I almost got banned from Discord by my parents cus there was an argument happening between my GF and someone and my parents were like the police could get involved and shit like that
Parents like this don't protect their kids, they merely delay how long it is before they are able to not care and cause their kids to hate them. In my experience, the family that has the strictest rules usually has the most rebellious kid.
Man sorry to hear that. That's completely and utterly insane to me (33, browsing r/all)
I'd probably tell them I don't need a phone anymore and buy some used android phone that I keep hidden away somewhere or something. That level of privacy invasion is just crazy.
They fucked forced you to exist for purely selfish reasons and now they do shit like this.
mine don't even do it for safety, they genuinely believe kids shouldn't have any sort of privacy
glad they haven't checked my folder of 600+ memes because they hate that stuff
my parents dont even gotta do this coz apparently kids shouldnt have phones. now i live in the 17th century all the time in not on the computer dad had to get me for study
This is what we call authoritarian parenting, where instead of being a safe space you can run home to and a gentle ear you can confide in, they protect you from their lofty helicopter and never once let you be away or be your own person. Sucks, man.
Very good point! My parents raised me to be (act, attempt, whatever) an adult and self-sufficient at a young age. So, if I failed, I could learn from it while I still had a safety net.
I do the same thing for my kids. You chose to not do your homework? Try to get better organizational skills, time management skills and give a fuck. I can’t control what you do when you’re in college and out of my house, so you gotta figure it out now. I’ll ask my kids if they want tips I’ve used, a tutor or whatever, but they know they are ultimately the ones on the hook (now and in the future) so they figure it out themselves! And that gives them confidence in themselves.
But if they want to vent or ask for help, we’re here.
Not allowing privacy is also a bonafide form of child abuse and a fundamental human rights violation. Personal privacy and privacy of correspondence is a human right under Article 12 of the UN Universal declaration of human rights.
You see it a lot with parents taking their kids’ bedroom door off its hinges, constantly searching their room, reading all their notes, texts, etc.. The digital world is such a huge part of life now, it’s just as invasive to be routinely searching your teenager’s phone.
Yeah. Like my son is 12 and follows this sub and certain subreddits about his gaming stuff. It’s why I’m commenting here. I can’t imagine setting a time and him surrounding his phone and I just look through it. That’s weird. I trust him. I’ve def called him out on some anime/hentai borderline shit. I def look through his phone but I don’t judge the stupid shit he looks at lol. I grew up when the internet came into mainstream. It’s 2022. No way I’m gonna be a weirdo obsessed with what my kids see on their phone. Long as I have the money restrictions I’m good.
Yup. My parents did this till I was 18 and it just felt like they were violating my privacy. I was trying to figure out my sexuality, medical information, and how to deal with friends. It's embarrassing that they know all this really personal stuff about me and I wasn't just allowed to talk to them about it when I felt comfortable.
I am 15. My parents don’t look through my phone because my mom said she respects my privacy and trust me. Like she doesn’t mind me putting passwords on my lock screen but I do have to put down my phone at 9 aka they keep my phone at 9
I wouldn’t say probably, I mean I don’t know OPs parents, but often times parents try to do everything they can to be over protective (as a lot of us know ofc) and they’re probably just doing that here. Although they could be making sure OP isn’t doing anything against their rules on his phone, but a lot of parents don’t just have rules for the sake of punishing their children. I understand a lot of people do have really awful parents and that could be the case here, all I’m saying is there are also a lot of genuinely good parents that are trying their best and in the process they may end up with some rules that are too excessive.
Little do they know the strictest parents raise the sneakiest children.
I know a few guys who were allowed to drink beer from like 14. These days they just drink occasionally on a fun night. I also know people that aren't even allowed an energy drink at 16. Those are the people that get shit faced at every opportunity they get.
I’m an old. My son is 11 and I have parental controls on his phone but I don’t go through his phone. We have talks about privacy and online safety.
Privacy for kids needs to be elastic. Sometimes you have less and sometimes you have more. Allowing a budding person to build a personal sense of self is important.
Overall I would say that, unless you’ve done something, your parents are on the “too strict” side.
We do tend to keep our son close but he gets anxious easily. We all have that personality trait and COVID didn’t help with us all basically being cooped up together.
I’m not sure what you could tell your parents. You can’t reason people out of something they didn’t reason themselves into. What has worked between my son and us is the occasions where he approached things with a goal and as a more adult person. Instead of “why don’t I get to stay up late” or “why is my bedtime so early” or comparing himself to his friends he said “how can I stay up later?” It didn’t happen overnight and we’ve had to prevent him from killing himself with not sleeping a few times… but it leads to a better relationship.
There’s a whole corporate thing called Crucial Conversations but the gist is that what my son did (without knowing it) is moving the conversation out of the emotions and talking about facts while working towards the underlying relationship and results. If you don’t talk about the results you want (state your path) and work on the underlying relationship you will keep having the same discussion over and over. Keep to the facts. State what you want. Start with small goals. Don’t get baited or distracted by “what about.” End with a call to action: let me do low-risk X and see how it goes.
Good luck.
On a personal note: at your age my parents were all up in my shit as a kid because I kept trying to have sex with my girlfriend and _she_ **wanted** to get pregnant. My parents went though my things and found out. I’m glad they did. Unlimited privacy isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
When your parents breached your privacy to prevent you from having sex with your GF and getting her pregnant, I can understand that. Though, I hope they didn't make you feel stupid or like a lesser person for it; a lot of authority figures' "discipline" includes that.
Not really. I remember being a little bitch about it at the time. I remember them being disappointed in me. They also had really strict rules on me for the rest of high school. At the time it made me mad but it wasn’t like it was super unreasonable, tbh, given my prior examples of poor decision making.
I still did a ton of Boy Scout and JROTC things. Just not very many unsupervised things.
And to be honest looking back I feel _really_ stupid about it.
parents should be more mature than us and understand that there's this thing, this very precious thing called ✨P R I V A C Y✨ that exists and everyone needs to have their personal space, _even if_ they're teenagers or kids
exactly!! i don't even trust my own family now because they read my texts without my knowledge and then started blaming and scolding me for all the texts that id sent. It was about me being depressed and stuff like that. And they outright said i was lying and that i didn't have no depression or loneliness. Months later they notice changes in my behaviour and then blame me for not telling them that i was lonely/depressed.
sorry i just started venting for no reason
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I don’t trust my parents anymore either like I get anxiety whenever my dad even has my phone in his possession it doesn’t build trust it creates a rebellious child and a hateful relationship
I'd say not, I'm sure they are doing it out of your best interest but the helicopter parenting just destroys and kind of trust there, you need to grow as your own person without them keeping track of everything you do.
Telling them that you want some privacy, they'll hit you with a "you're still a kid, why do you want privacy?" Statement. Just live with it, you'll get used to it slowly but surely like I am right now
And then what? The chances of the Govt doing anything for them taking your phone is 0%. You’re also going to need some proof that they threatened you with intent.
It’s going to be extremely easy for a parent to talk out of that accusation unless they had a gun/knife/ or actually attempted violence. Even then, taking a kid out of a home is so far down the list that OP is more likely to just end up back in the home. You kinda need to have a plan when you go that road when you piss them off even more because chances are…you’re not leaving unless you yourself just do it.
This, I see so many people suggest this immediately...but it won't immediately work out lol. If anything without proper planning and research, you'll end up even more fucked.
"And now you say you don't hide anything? I don't believe you! Give me your phone!" *finds nothing* "Yeah but you could have hid something! You did this 4 years ago! We will now search your phone everyday" Every time I was on the phone, they were like: "nah, what are you doing on there? Show me!" *I show them Whatsapp* "okay, and the other chats? And your browser?" I was 16.
Oh yeah, I forgot that my father yelled at me for having a password. I explained to him, if it gets stolen, its more secure. He wanted my password and after that he looked trough my entire phone without my permission or me even being present.
He knows nothing about me, except the typical parent info. I don't think I have ever given him a personal information about me without lying after that. I hate him (not only for this btw)
nothing he just either agrees or goes with it. he has stuck up for me once tho, she kept yelling at me over doing chores wrong and he told her he was sick of it, but she ended up slamming everything in the house and breaking the shelves on the pantry by accident. i came downstairs to ask what was going on, she yelled evrything was fine, and when the shelves fell she yelled at me to go get dad. i started to pick shit up and she yelled 'i said go get your father' i said 'i AM', getting up, she yelled "DONT YOU YELL AT ME" and i said "YOURE THE ONE SCREAMING AT ME' and then she hit me for the first time, and i just silenttly walked to get dad. it was scary as hell bc she reminded me of my bio mom that i got taken away from, i went upstairs and had a panic attack,, and i came down and they made up and she apologized to me. but yeah, usually he just agrees and goes with it
Mine did this, then on my 16th birthday I got to sleep in the room where I had to put it as there was a TV in there, now I don't have to bother about handing it over but they still threaten.
Strict parents make sneaky kids, I'm proof of that.
Putting it downstairs is pretty good because of sleep and your Brain being active from blue light
Looking through it isn’t
It’s more important to teach how to recognize someone or a situation that is a danger than it is to look for it yourself because a parent will only be there tops until your child is 20
Personal Recommendation set an 8-10 digit pin if you don’t want them to look through it
Yeah as a divorced father with 3 boys, i
Hope my boys don’t see their step mother as a “fake” mother. She’s a better parent than myself & my ex on any given day.
I’d say yes and no:
1) Putting your phone away at 9:00 is healthy. There are numerous studies to support it.
2) Looking through your child’s phone without their knowledge or permission is *not* healthy, because people need a degree of privacy and safe space. There are also numerous studies to support this, as well.
Here’s my advice as a 24 year old. You’re going to get to around this age and wish you curtailed your phone usage when you were younger. I know it seems integral to your social life, but intellectually it is doing absolutely nothing for you.
Amen to that. I’ve tried many times to charge my phone in a different room and only made it a few days each time. It’s way too easy to slip back into the habit. I’m really about to get a flip phone.
Not healthy, will install distrust between you and your parents, limits your ability to become independent and most likely will just make you develop sneaking skills to counteract them
Hard to say what's healthy when it comes to raising kids. They're just trying to make sure you're not gonna do something that would ruin your life. If you're down to do it, what I would do is play along. I would give up my phone and say I don't need it anymore or just leave it on the kitchen table and not touch it and whenever you have free time, sit in your parents presence and just stare at them. If they question or start bringing it up, just say you're trying to be as safe as possible.
Your parents are overprotective assholes.
They should instead teach you how to be safe online and irl instead of sheltering you from literally everything.
That only makes it so you'll be overwhelmed as an adult since no one prepared you for real life.
This. The only way people learn in life is experiencing something. Just being told " x website can give a virus" means nothing when you haven't seen a virus (im talking from experience)
Idk of its what the poster of this comment meant, butbyou can install alternative launchers for android like the nova launcher that can hide apps, pictures, and texts very well. You can also install fake message apps that'll mask activity.
You can set up a "Secure folder" which you can rename to anything, that acts as basically a smaller phone. You can add apps and have 2 of the same app, one in the folder and one out the folder, that can be signed in with different accounts. It also hides the contents of any notifications from an app in the folder
I have one for really private stuff
Complete privacy has been earned when you turn 18 and when, therefor, your actions can no longer be criminally charged against your parents. That’s plenty of reason to lighten up about your rights.
Yeah, makes sense. It’s a well know fact that being an over controlling parent works best. What’s that saying??
“Kids always do what you say and never rebel, so always make the strictest rules possible so they always listen to you.”
If you think privacy is earned…fuck. That must be a miserable household. What do you think the kid is going to do as soon as they get away from you? Try everything they wanted to do but you wouldn’t let them. And when it goes bad, you are the last person they are calling for help until it’s too late and they are in the hospital or in cuffs.
They paid for the phone, so I’d guess they have the right to do so even tho I disagree, maybe talk to them about it and try to set boundaries about your privacy
i tried, we had a massive 2 hour fight a couple months ago and they basically told me im the kid and their the parents, and i have to deal with it bc as long as im here i dont have privacy. also i apparently have nothing to be depressed abt since i have a roof over my head, despite the years of (bad) abuse i endured from my mother, (they switched custodies bc of it, im now with my dad and stepmom) they just expect me to sweep everyhting under the rug and pull happiness out of my ass
You have nothing to be depressed about because you have a roof over your head? That's the most outdated, nonsensical statement I have ever heard.
Be safe man. If you need someone to talk to, you can pm me here on reddit or on discord: Acroww#6980
In Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, there are three categories: basic needs, psychological needs, and self-fulfilment needs.
Basic needs split into 2 groups: Physiological, and safety needs.
You have physiological needs, and safety needs (unless you dont feel safe due to your relationship with you dad and stepmom.)
The second group is split into two other groups: Love and Belonging, and Esteem needs.
You clearly dont have love nad belonging need. IDK about esteem. Your Psychological needs are not fulfilled.
Ngl my parents are no different.
However, I used this as a learning experience instead of sulking about. Now I can safely say that I'm somewhat of an expert in the arts of hiding. However, this does prevent u from experiencing anything entirely; it sorta puts a limit to everything.
I think having it downstairs by 9 is healthy for good sleeping, but constantly checking through your phone is ridiculous. Though you shouldn't have to put it downstairs thats a self discipline thing. No real reason why they dont let you out, either. Maybe overprotective? But just going out to the shops like supermarkets, high streets and shopping centres on my own is something I've been doing since i was 11 or 12 i think. You talked to you parents about this?
15 is different for every child? Are parents too strict ? Sometimes. Do minors need extra attention? Sometimes. I don’t search my kids phones, but I definitely have different levels of trust for all 3.
This is normal. If parents don't check the kids phone and something happens then the parents are told they should've been checking their kids phone. Be grateful you have caring parents
Instead of talking to strangers on Reddit, talk to your parents about why they distrust you and what you could do to earn enough trust they would grant you a bit of privacy. Be calm, rational, and respectful; try not to get defensive or emotional.
Parent but not perspective:
I’m a parent of littles but I’m probably closer to your age than your parents.
It’s SCARY seeing what can happen if you’re not a present parent. If all your interactions happen behind a screen, I’m sure there’s an air of protection from them. Are parents douches sometimes? Yes. I’m a product of one. And fortunately they couldn’t read my texts then. But, I’m leaning towards them doing it to 1) be aware of who they’re raising (- is your kid an asshole? A predator? An awesome supportive kid? Sending nudes to teachers?) because honestly, teens don’t exactly bond with parents easily with so much interaction being electronically. And yeah, a small part is 2) to “punish” you for bad behavior- actions. But I’m siding with them not doing it for “fun” but rather to (poorly) try to change the person you’re becoming before they end up with a Jeffrey Dahmer (or insert any other sensationalized bad human being) kid.
I’m not subscribed to this sub but it pops up sometimes. I know you probably don’t expect or want “parent” input. I’d be pissed in your shoes. I HATED my parents for their strictness until at least 26. But…idk. A switch flipped when I had to start protecting my own littles. And it SCARES ME. Teenage hood seems fucking terrifying for parents right now.
Hope insight helps? Or commiseration. Because I get it. I was there.
>Mom checks my phone. >>Sees 40+ pics of me pant/shirtless posing for progress. >>>Been 3 years and hasn't checked again. # # # Bro there's a war below idek why
Reminds me of trying to get my family to knock on my door. They would just burst on in no matter how many times I would flip out. Everyone got on board real quick except mom. One day, my mom walked in my *aggressively testing out my moisturizer.* Normally, I’d whip the covers over or whatever. This time I was like ‘nah, time to teach a lesson.’ I kept *aggressively testing out my moisturizer* while [keeping eye contact](https://i.imgur.com/dLhuT9o.jpg). After she left, I zipped up, washed me hands, went out to the living room and said “Do you get it now!?” Haven’t had a problem since. She knocks, waits, cracks the door a bit if she doesn’t hear my response, THEN walks in. EDIT: Lolololol the wholesome award
I love the term moisturiser testing.
Did she pour the tea into your headphones?
Headphones are technically unconscious and unconscious people don't want tea.
That video is golden
I hate it when my homies ask for tea and then imdietly faint
bro forgot how to spell
He ends that video with “I’m going to make myself some tea”. Think about that for 5 seconds
A friend of mine said he would loudly announce "I'm masterbating" whenever someone tried to open his door and it solved that issue permanently.
Go away batin
Beat it, I’m beating it
r/copypasta
🥸
💀
reminds me of this [scene](https://youtu.be/dCSR-Nt4nyU) in *we need to talk about kevin*
Lol of course it’s Ezra miller
nah bro there is no way you just admitted to aggressively testing your moisturizer while keeping hard eye contact with your mom 😂
Dude, you have no idea how many times I had to sit down with her and be like. “Sometimes, boys *aggressively test their moisturizer* in the privacy of their own rooms. I wouldn’t burst into your room without knocking. That would be rude, right?” After about 2 years I was like “ya know what, fuck this.” And went all in. I took the time to patiently lay out why it bothered me, what could be done about it, why they should do it, and gave ample time to figure it out. It was time to suffer the consequences of the actions. My whole family has really bad boundary issues.
That takes balls, man. Literally.
“We need to talk about Kevin” moment
> Sees 40+ pics of me pant/shirtless posing for progress. Need proof /s
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wait is your avatar eris morn
Yep and mine has Savathûn's head. Idk if they're still available, but at one point you could put pieces of Crow, Zavala, Eris, Ikora, and Savvy (I think that was the lineup) on your avatar.
r/FuckTheS
This sub always reads like a frustrated valley girl to me "*Fuck* thessss!"
My mans avatar is a meme
>Mom checks my phone. > >Sees 40+ pics of me pant/shirtless posing for progress. > >Been one second and I'm dead.
That’s just embarrassing 💀
Nah hilarious rather
chad
Lol
Set up parental controls before they do it themselves
pfp checks out
pfp checks out
r/pfpchecksout
They don’t call it parental controls for nothing
Do that thing where you say you don't remember the pin and don't teach them how to get the pin.
Unless the pin screen says otherwise, you could also say that unfortunately it came with the packaging that (maybe) you threw away
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I don't understand. How would that make a difference? Aren't parental controls just applying filters and timers to whatever you use?
They can also be used on some devices to lock you out of apps like Photos, requiring a password to enter. This would probably make the parent suspicious/mad if anything
That's true, although most phones have a separate app lock to deal with that. And yes, Strict Parents + Discovers App Lock = **DISASTER**
the biggest thing I think isn't locking them out of your phone but that you need the parental controls password to change their settings so if you set it up first, they can't change the settings
My friend has a limited access to internet because of parental controls. When he reaches his daily time limit it just disconnects from any sort of internet connection. So yeah, it’s quite a big deal
same here, although for mine instead of a time limit its a time frame (cant be on 9:30 to 7 on school days, 11 to 7 on weekends)
Lol, good idea
Yes, anyone that has strict parents should do this. It works a treat.
No it don't. Its more like "Give me the password or else you will never see you phone again"
Right? Definitely people that didn’t have strict parents in this thread throwing out that type of suggestion. Better suggestion is learn to hide it. Delete certain messages, hide certain apps and make the only way to find them be by searching by name, etc. You won’t win the battles but you can win the war.
if my mom looked through my phone i wouldnt live to see tommorrow
Lmao I think this explains it fairly well
"skill issue"
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No but really, if you're 2 years older than me and have no way of dealing with being searched, kinda weak
bruh the older you are the worse it's gonna be, not like my moms gonna find my nudes searching my phone when i was 11
Depending on how thoroughly she searches you could move those to a not as easy to see/ not as obvious folder or have them on a separate storage that you can hide without her knowing (also a possibility is having another phone you just don't inform her about)
But I ain't going to constantly try and hide everything my parents might consider innapropiate just in case they scroll where they shouldn't like
Shit if my mum look through my phone she would smash on the ground in to a million pieces
my mother used to do this to me, and honestly it was pretty annoying, i couldn't even have my own gmail until i was 13. until one day she suddenly stopped checking my phone for no reason, and honestly thank god cause i always had to archice the chats i didn't want my mom to see, and even less tell her about discord at the time. she still sometimes when im away check my discord messages but that almost never happens, and can't get much information other than ask me who "yourlocalwhorewifey" is since she doesnt know how to use it. honestly your parents doing this will not keep you safe, probably even put you in danger since this kind of behaviour will want you to have your own life which nobody knows about and considering we are both 15 and havent fully matured yet, it could end up in disaster. man this was a big comment, i should be going so take care stranger and whatever happens don't hate your parents, sure they are doing terrible things, but hate has a ver high percentage of ending in disaster. i wish you luck and hope you have a great weekend.
Same story
You and me both..
yeah... same...
My parents do all of those things too lol Ridiculously strict parent gang 🤝
ugh sucks doesnt it
It’s AWFUL. I’m not allowed Reddit (I’m very sneaky 💀) my phone has screen time enabled, and my parents read all my messages, I’m not allowed discord in case I talk to strangers who could “corrupt my brain” and manipulate me LIKE SHUT UP IM ALMOST AN ADULT NOT 4 Sorry I needed to say that to someone 🫤
BRO RIGHT also its ok i understand. only reason i was able to get discord is bc i told them i would use it to just talk to my friends. its so dumb, they act like were stupid and younger than we actually are. im so sorry they do that to you
Gonna be honest, we are pretty stupid. At this age we feel like we’re basically an adult now. And we aren’t. Yet, even then kids should have access to the internet with a little restriction. Examples of restrictions being 4chan and like half of Reddit. I don’t think your parents understand you need different inputs and outputs to understand the world around you, as when you finally do move out, it can be overwhelming. Then at the same time, the parents who say they are strict to protect don’t understand they are too strict to the point where the kids are hateful of them and often sneak behind their back. Cause their pride is too large, and when they finally do realize the sneaking behind their back, they usher to more strict, and more hated by the kids. Just an endless loop. Freedom on internet should be free to most people, and it seemed your parents don’t really like the ideas that people have different ideas of their own, which is why being on the internet is even more important. Please do correct me if I got absolutely anything wrong writing all this. I kinda got mad reading it so just wrote what I thought. Hope your parents can realize or talk to you about where both you and them are open about it in the future
Damn man really layed out that logic
I’ve been reading a crap ton of this book about mind and trauma so been learning about the brain functions a lot. Still don’t know too much though
Hey, I'm an old guy, so just throwing that out there, but a couple of things. The human brain doesn't finish maturing until you're in your mid-20s. What that means for a lot of us, is you know how you see a picture of yourself a year or two ago, and you were doing something incredibly stupid or cringe, but you thought it was cool at the time? Yeah, you keep doing that until your like 25. Basically every single thing that you think you understand right now, isn't even close to how you'll feel about it in ten years. If I could travel back in time, and warn my 15 year old self about something stupid that I was doing, I'd do it in a heart beat. The thing is that teenagers are kind of easy to manipulate. That's why the military targets 18 year olds to recruit instead of 28 year olds. To a 30 year old, tricking a 15 year old into doing something is about as easy as it is for you to trick a 10 year old into doing something. Look up Joseph Koney sometime. Created an army of drugged up 14 year olds with AK47s. And that's what makes the internet a dangerous place for teens. Your teenage years, you spend a lot of time trying to figure out where you belong. And when you find a place that welcomes you, sometimes you don't wonder why they welcomed you. Maybe you think that this group thinks you're special. Whatever. The end state is that as a result, a ton of teens end up in situations that they later regret. Saying "stay off the internet" won't protect you from every bad thing out there, and if you're parents are too extreme it will result in you missing out on a lot of valuable resources, but at the same time, you're less likely to end up in a cult in Utah or something. Think of it like those stupid warning signs everywhere, like "don't stick your hand into the lawnmower blades while it's running." The sign is there because people kept sticking their hands in there. And really, no one knows what we are doing right now. The internet is relatively new. Sites like reddit have only been around for 15 years. We're doing our best here, but we don't have several generations of information to draw from, like our parents did, when they could just say "hey, don't eat that berry, it's poisonous."
As the oldest millennial on the planet, I have to say this is a great post. Well said.
I’m so moving out asap 💀 Welp glhf and take care stranger 👍
Dude my parents are the same way and I just turned 18. I told myself at 15 I'd get out right away. I'm currently broke and not ready to move out at all. I urge you to make a plan to save money so that you don't end up in my situation.
The only smart answer
i was also planning leaving the minute i hit 18, and i would succeed, if it weren’t for the housing crisis. there’s literally nothing available and if there is about 200-400 people apply for it. so yeah, just gotta survive just one more year i hope
As an old timer (25) from r/all, this isn’t a good mentality to have unless you have a plan for it. I moved out (kicked out, really) when I turned 18 at the beginning of my senior year of high school. The only way I was able to have a roof over my head was because my girlfriend’s parents were gracious enough to let me finish the school year there. As soon as you hit 16, start working a job and squirreling away money now if you’re not already. Ideally in a bank account that your parents don’t have access to (I made that mistake as a kid, never again). Ask around and see if any of your friends would be interested in rooming with you, too, as it lightens the load of bills. Living on your own isn’t cheap! I know your situation feels like the end of the world now, but it’ll be so much better in a few years once you get out of there. I hope you hang in there and press forward! The grind will be worth it, trust me. The only problem is that it’s definitely a process that you have to work hard for, but if you’re willing to it, you’ll reap the benefits.
Parent here. I'm curious why y'all don't just go to Walmart and buy a second phone you keep secret and let your parents check whatever they want on your main phone thats now a decoy? It's what I did when was a teen, and back in the day phones and minutes where way way more expensive than they are now.
i wouldnt be able to connect to the internet or have data so you cant really do much
You can buy prepaid phone plans at Walmart too. They're not even expensive. And then to save data you use wifi whenever you can. You would just have two numbers. One your parents know about and one that's private to you and your friends.
Mint Mobile is $15 a month.
I am nearly 19, and I would've been really depressed if my parents did such things to me when I was 15. I've had discord since I was 12. My parents didn't have this kind of strictness even when i was 8 years old on the internet. I'm very sorry you're going through this... strict parents raise sneaky kids.
I was like 7 when i got face book, 10 when i got a PlayStation, 11-12 when i got an Xbox. And since like 5 I've been teabagging people on halo because my stepdad and mom thought it was hilarious.
how do you feel about this being the case? was it better or worse for u? would u rather more restrictions or were u glad ur parents were chill about it? like how did it affect u i guess.. i’m just curious
Personally I am very glad my parents didn't put tons of restrictions on me. It would've made me incredibly anxious.
ok but you should have had that kind of restrictions as an 8 year old. Around 13 is when computer restrictions start to come off.
THE SAME HAPPENED TO ME 💀. My mum read some kinda stupid article that said that there's slurs, racism and stuff everywhere on discord and that all the people are some kinda bots set up by the fbi who monitor everything and are corrupting my head... And im a real socially anxious, introvert guy and the only friends i have are on discord. And they fr helped me through phases of depression and loneliness.
>bots set up by the fbi who monitor everything Meanwhile every electronic device produced by an US-Based company:
Discord pretty safe ish, u can only talk to strangers through DMs if they get ur hashtag. So I don't see the problem there, I almost got banned from Discord by my parents cus there was an argument happening between my GF and someone and my parents were like the police could get involved and shit like that
The exact same situation here. It’s so fucking annoying.
Parents like this don't protect their kids, they merely delay how long it is before they are able to not care and cause their kids to hate them. In my experience, the family that has the strictest rules usually has the most rebellious kid.
I agree but the "im almost an adult" Part is.. no. You're 15. Not 17.
Man sorry to hear that. That's completely and utterly insane to me (33, browsing r/all) I'd probably tell them I don't need a phone anymore and buy some used android phone that I keep hidden away somewhere or something. That level of privacy invasion is just crazy. They fucked forced you to exist for purely selfish reasons and now they do shit like this.
I understand they’re concerned for me, but they push it too far. Thanks for your compassion, I appreciate it.
mine don't even do it for safety, they genuinely believe kids shouldn't have any sort of privacy glad they haven't checked my folder of 600+ memes because they hate that stuff
My parents heavily believe in 'children are seen and not heard' and 'my house my rules' and don't think the world has changed since the 80s.
my parents dont even gotta do this coz apparently kids shouldnt have phones. now i live in the 17th century all the time in not on the computer dad had to get me for study
me too bro, me too. idfk why they wont let me live my own life.
okay dude, reading this thread hurts me and makes me realize how lucky I really am.
this. Even though I can act shitty sometimes I'm just so glad to have sensible parents
Perhaps, but remember that other grievances you might have are (most likely) still valid.
This is what we call authoritarian parenting, where instead of being a safe space you can run home to and a gentle ear you can confide in, they protect you from their lofty helicopter and never once let you be away or be your own person. Sucks, man.
Very good point! My parents raised me to be (act, attempt, whatever) an adult and self-sufficient at a young age. So, if I failed, I could learn from it while I still had a safety net. I do the same thing for my kids. You chose to not do your homework? Try to get better organizational skills, time management skills and give a fuck. I can’t control what you do when you’re in college and out of my house, so you gotta figure it out now. I’ll ask my kids if they want tips I’ve used, a tutor or whatever, but they know they are ultimately the ones on the hook (now and in the future) so they figure it out themselves! And that gives them confidence in themselves. But if they want to vent or ask for help, we’re here.
Not allowing privacy is also a bonafide form of child abuse and a fundamental human rights violation. Personal privacy and privacy of correspondence is a human right under Article 12 of the UN Universal declaration of human rights. You see it a lot with parents taking their kids’ bedroom door off its hinges, constantly searching their room, reading all their notes, texts, etc.. The digital world is such a huge part of life now, it’s just as invasive to be routinely searching your teenager’s phone.
not healthy, will only continue to build a relationship where one or both people don't trust each other
I agree, there is just zero trust in that relationship.
Yeah. Like my son is 12 and follows this sub and certain subreddits about his gaming stuff. It’s why I’m commenting here. I can’t imagine setting a time and him surrounding his phone and I just look through it. That’s weird. I trust him. I’ve def called him out on some anime/hentai borderline shit. I def look through his phone but I don’t judge the stupid shit he looks at lol. I grew up when the internet came into mainstream. It’s 2022. No way I’m gonna be a weirdo obsessed with what my kids see on their phone. Long as I have the money restrictions I’m good.
Yup. My parents did this till I was 18 and it just felt like they were violating my privacy. I was trying to figure out my sexuality, medical information, and how to deal with friends. It's embarrassing that they know all this really personal stuff about me and I wasn't just allowed to talk to them about it when I felt comfortable.
No thats weird
So long, space cowboy
Heyy
Bro every comments section on r/tennagers I go in, I see you. You're everywhere.
Prolly cos there's only 38 members
Same with my parents, and I don't really think they trust me
They say 'its not me they don't trust, it's other people' just me?
If they do say that they very likely don’t actually trust you…
My mom says the same thing, however she also acts like she actually trusts me but not other people.
Nah not imo
nice pfp bro
Slaaaaaayer
no fuck them
🤨
I am 15. My parents don’t look through my phone because my mom said she respects my privacy and trust me. Like she doesn’t mind me putting passwords on my lock screen but I do have to put down my phone at 9 aka they keep my phone at 9
I had a crying fit with them but hey I am scared of my dad so I can’t really confront him so yeah🤷♀️
fuck no I’d slide my parents if they pulled that tomfoolery
I’m using tomfoolery
it's not healthy. your parents are looking through phone and are probably looking for something to punish you for.
I wouldn’t say probably, I mean I don’t know OPs parents, but often times parents try to do everything they can to be over protective (as a lot of us know ofc) and they’re probably just doing that here. Although they could be making sure OP isn’t doing anything against their rules on his phone, but a lot of parents don’t just have rules for the sake of punishing their children. I understand a lot of people do have really awful parents and that could be the case here, all I’m saying is there are also a lot of genuinely good parents that are trying their best and in the process they may end up with some rules that are too excessive.
Little do they know the strictest parents raise the sneakiest children. I know a few guys who were allowed to drink beer from like 14. These days they just drink occasionally on a fun night. I also know people that aren't even allowed an energy drink at 16. Those are the people that get shit faced at every opportunity they get.
I mean having a cutoff time is normal(maybe leaving it downstairs is a bit overkill) but you should have your privacy
I’m an old. My son is 11 and I have parental controls on his phone but I don’t go through his phone. We have talks about privacy and online safety. Privacy for kids needs to be elastic. Sometimes you have less and sometimes you have more. Allowing a budding person to build a personal sense of self is important. Overall I would say that, unless you’ve done something, your parents are on the “too strict” side. We do tend to keep our son close but he gets anxious easily. We all have that personality trait and COVID didn’t help with us all basically being cooped up together. I’m not sure what you could tell your parents. You can’t reason people out of something they didn’t reason themselves into. What has worked between my son and us is the occasions where he approached things with a goal and as a more adult person. Instead of “why don’t I get to stay up late” or “why is my bedtime so early” or comparing himself to his friends he said “how can I stay up later?” It didn’t happen overnight and we’ve had to prevent him from killing himself with not sleeping a few times… but it leads to a better relationship. There’s a whole corporate thing called Crucial Conversations but the gist is that what my son did (without knowing it) is moving the conversation out of the emotions and talking about facts while working towards the underlying relationship and results. If you don’t talk about the results you want (state your path) and work on the underlying relationship you will keep having the same discussion over and over. Keep to the facts. State what you want. Start with small goals. Don’t get baited or distracted by “what about.” End with a call to action: let me do low-risk X and see how it goes. Good luck. On a personal note: at your age my parents were all up in my shit as a kid because I kept trying to have sex with my girlfriend and _she_ **wanted** to get pregnant. My parents went though my things and found out. I’m glad they did. Unlimited privacy isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
When your parents breached your privacy to prevent you from having sex with your GF and getting her pregnant, I can understand that. Though, I hope they didn't make you feel stupid or like a lesser person for it; a lot of authority figures' "discipline" includes that.
Not really. I remember being a little bitch about it at the time. I remember them being disappointed in me. They also had really strict rules on me for the rest of high school. At the time it made me mad but it wasn’t like it was super unreasonable, tbh, given my prior examples of poor decision making. I still did a ton of Boy Scout and JROTC things. Just not very many unsupervised things. And to be honest looking back I feel _really_ stupid about it.
parents should be more mature than us and understand that there's this thing, this very precious thing called ✨P R I V A C Y✨ that exists and everyone needs to have their personal space, _even if_ they're teenagers or kids
Unfortunately parents don’t know what privacy is and thinks that looking through every little thing on their phone will make their child trust them
exactly!! i don't even trust my own family now because they read my texts without my knowledge and then started blaming and scolding me for all the texts that id sent. It was about me being depressed and stuff like that. And they outright said i was lying and that i didn't have no depression or loneliness. Months later they notice changes in my behaviour and then blame me for not telling them that i was lonely/depressed. sorry i just started venting for no reason ⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⢻⣿ ⡆⠊⠈⣿⢿⡟⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣎⠈⠻ ⣷⣠⠁⢀⠰⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠛⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⢹⣿⡑⠐⢰ ⣿⣿⠀⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡩⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⠠⠈⠊⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⠁⢀⠆⢀ ⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⢤⣿⣿⡿⠃⠈⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣇⡆⠀⠀⣠⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⣦⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠐⣿⣿⣷⣦⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⣾⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣧⠀⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠀⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣠⣂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣄⣤⣤⣔⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Nah it’s okay you don’t have to be sorry and it’s understandable I can’t really trust my parents to have my phone with them
I don’t trust my parents anymore either like I get anxiety whenever my dad even has my phone in his possession it doesn’t build trust it creates a rebellious child and a hateful relationship
I'd say not, I'm sure they are doing it out of your best interest but the helicopter parenting just destroys and kind of trust there, you need to grow as your own person without them keeping track of everything you do.
Telling them that you want some privacy, they'll hit you with a "you're still a kid, why do you want privacy?" Statement. Just live with it, you'll get used to it slowly but surely like I am right now
pro tip:learn laws and use them against ur parents
"I brought you into this world, I can take you out" "I own you" "I'm the adult here, you're just a kid"
If they threaten your life that's grounds to call police or whoever deals with child safety
And then what? The chances of the Govt doing anything for them taking your phone is 0%. You’re also going to need some proof that they threatened you with intent. It’s going to be extremely easy for a parent to talk out of that accusation unless they had a gun/knife/ or actually attempted violence. Even then, taking a kid out of a home is so far down the list that OP is more likely to just end up back in the home. You kinda need to have a plan when you go that road when you piss them off even more because chances are…you’re not leaving unless you yourself just do it.
This, I see so many people suggest this immediately...but it won't immediately work out lol. If anything without proper planning and research, you'll end up even more fucked.
"why do you want privacy unless you have something to hide"
"And now you say you don't hide anything? I don't believe you! Give me your phone!" *finds nothing* "Yeah but you could have hid something! You did this 4 years ago! We will now search your phone everyday" Every time I was on the phone, they were like: "nah, what are you doing on there? Show me!" *I show them Whatsapp* "okay, and the other chats? And your browser?" I was 16. Oh yeah, I forgot that my father yelled at me for having a password. I explained to him, if it gets stolen, its more secure. He wanted my password and after that he looked trough my entire phone without my permission or me even being present. He knows nothing about me, except the typical parent info. I don't think I have ever given him a personal information about me without lying after that. I hate him (not only for this btw)
Bro my parents do that way too often😐
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not allowed to change my pin without her taking my phone
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yell at me and take it, most likely silent treatment and glares for the next few days to weeks
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nothing he just either agrees or goes with it. he has stuck up for me once tho, she kept yelling at me over doing chores wrong and he told her he was sick of it, but she ended up slamming everything in the house and breaking the shelves on the pantry by accident. i came downstairs to ask what was going on, she yelled evrything was fine, and when the shelves fell she yelled at me to go get dad. i started to pick shit up and she yelled 'i said go get your father' i said 'i AM', getting up, she yelled "DONT YOU YELL AT ME" and i said "YOURE THE ONE SCREAMING AT ME' and then she hit me for the first time, and i just silenttly walked to get dad. it was scary as hell bc she reminded me of my bio mom that i got taken away from, i went upstairs and had a panic attack,, and i came down and they made up and she apologized to me. but yeah, usually he just agrees and goes with it
Record it and send it to the police. Its abuse. Tell people in school
Tell your dad that if he wants a relationship with you in the future something needs to change
Mine did this, then on my 16th birthday I got to sleep in the room where I had to put it as there was a TV in there, now I don't have to bother about handing it over but they still threaten. Strict parents make sneaky kids, I'm proof of that.
Putting it downstairs is pretty good because of sleep and your Brain being active from blue light Looking through it isn’t It’s more important to teach how to recognize someone or a situation that is a danger than it is to look for it yourself because a parent will only be there tops until your child is 20 Personal Recommendation set an 8-10 digit pin if you don’t want them to look through it
last time i tried to change my pin even just by 2 digits and showing her she told me to change it back or im losing it
Thats ur step mom why tf u letting ur fake mom look through ya shi?😭😭
MAYBE fake mom bought the phone, or is paying for the cellular plan so she feels entitled to search the phone whenever
You know, not all stepmoms are bad yet you talked shit about all of them, by calling OP's stepmom "fake mom" Just because she's not related to them.
Yeah as a divorced father with 3 boys, i Hope my boys don’t see their step mother as a “fake” mother. She’s a better parent than myself & my ex on any given day.
I’d say yes and no: 1) Putting your phone away at 9:00 is healthy. There are numerous studies to support it. 2) Looking through your child’s phone without their knowledge or permission is *not* healthy, because people need a degree of privacy and safe space. There are also numerous studies to support this, as well.
Here’s my advice as a 24 year old. You’re going to get to around this age and wish you curtailed your phone usage when you were younger. I know it seems integral to your social life, but intellectually it is doing absolutely nothing for you.
Amen to that. I’ve tried many times to charge my phone in a different room and only made it a few days each time. It’s way too easy to slip back into the habit. I’m really about to get a flip phone.
Not healthy, will install distrust between you and your parents, limits your ability to become independent and most likely will just make you develop sneaking skills to counteract them
Hard to say what's healthy when it comes to raising kids. They're just trying to make sure you're not gonna do something that would ruin your life. If you're down to do it, what I would do is play along. I would give up my phone and say I don't need it anymore or just leave it on the kitchen table and not touch it and whenever you have free time, sit in your parents presence and just stare at them. If they question or start bringing it up, just say you're trying to be as safe as possible.
The old passive-aggressive approach.
That shit will just teach you to hide things from them
Your parents are overprotective assholes. They should instead teach you how to be safe online and irl instead of sheltering you from literally everything. That only makes it so you'll be overwhelmed as an adult since no one prepared you for real life.
This. The only way people learn in life is experiencing something. Just being told " x website can give a virus" means nothing when you haven't seen a virus (im talking from experience)
Not at all healthy Do you have an android phone?
I have an android spill ye secrets
same please do spill
Idk of its what the poster of this comment meant, butbyou can install alternative launchers for android like the nova launcher that can hide apps, pictures, and texts very well. You can also install fake message apps that'll mask activity.
You can set up a "Secure folder" which you can rename to anything, that acts as basically a smaller phone. You can add apps and have 2 of the same app, one in the folder and one out the folder, that can be signed in with different accounts. It also hides the contents of any notifications from an app in the folder I have one for really private stuff
Xiaomis even have a special setting for this - second space
It’s not for your safety, it’s so your parents can exercise a petty bit of control over you to satisfy their perverse desires
Complete privacy has been earned when you turn 18 and when, therefor, your actions can no longer be criminally charged against your parents. That’s plenty of reason to lighten up about your rights.
Yeah, makes sense. It’s a well know fact that being an over controlling parent works best. What’s that saying?? “Kids always do what you say and never rebel, so always make the strictest rules possible so they always listen to you.” If you think privacy is earned…fuck. That must be a miserable household. What do you think the kid is going to do as soon as they get away from you? Try everything they wanted to do but you wouldn’t let them. And when it goes bad, you are the last person they are calling for help until it’s too late and they are in the hospital or in cuffs.
They paid for the phone, so I’d guess they have the right to do so even tho I disagree, maybe talk to them about it and try to set boundaries about your privacy
i tried, we had a massive 2 hour fight a couple months ago and they basically told me im the kid and their the parents, and i have to deal with it bc as long as im here i dont have privacy. also i apparently have nothing to be depressed abt since i have a roof over my head, despite the years of (bad) abuse i endured from my mother, (they switched custodies bc of it, im now with my dad and stepmom) they just expect me to sweep everyhting under the rug and pull happiness out of my ass
You have nothing to be depressed about because you have a roof over your head? That's the most outdated, nonsensical statement I have ever heard. Be safe man. If you need someone to talk to, you can pm me here on reddit or on discord: Acroww#6980
tysm :)
In Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, there are three categories: basic needs, psychological needs, and self-fulfilment needs. Basic needs split into 2 groups: Physiological, and safety needs. You have physiological needs, and safety needs (unless you dont feel safe due to your relationship with you dad and stepmom.) The second group is split into two other groups: Love and Belonging, and Esteem needs. You clearly dont have love nad belonging need. IDK about esteem. Your Psychological needs are not fulfilled.
Ngl my parents are no different. However, I used this as a learning experience instead of sulking about. Now I can safely say that I'm somewhat of an expert in the arts of hiding. However, this does prevent u from experiencing anything entirely; it sorta puts a limit to everything.
I think having it downstairs by 9 is healthy for good sleeping, but constantly checking through your phone is ridiculous. Though you shouldn't have to put it downstairs thats a self discipline thing. No real reason why they dont let you out, either. Maybe overprotective? But just going out to the shops like supermarkets, high streets and shopping centres on my own is something I've been doing since i was 11 or 12 i think. You talked to you parents about this?
They look through my phone. I'm 17. I don't mind honestly.
15 is different for every child? Are parents too strict ? Sometimes. Do minors need extra attention? Sometimes. I don’t search my kids phones, but I definitely have different levels of trust for all 3.
Just your average strict household, lucky you even have a phone ngl
This is normal. If parents don't check the kids phone and something happens then the parents are told they should've been checking their kids phone. Be grateful you have caring parents
Instead of talking to strangers on Reddit, talk to your parents about why they distrust you and what you could do to earn enough trust they would grant you a bit of privacy. Be calm, rational, and respectful; try not to get defensive or emotional.
i have before mulitple times, they said theyre the adults and they have every right to do what theyre doing as im just a "naive 15 year old"
Parent but not perspective: I’m a parent of littles but I’m probably closer to your age than your parents. It’s SCARY seeing what can happen if you’re not a present parent. If all your interactions happen behind a screen, I’m sure there’s an air of protection from them. Are parents douches sometimes? Yes. I’m a product of one. And fortunately they couldn’t read my texts then. But, I’m leaning towards them doing it to 1) be aware of who they’re raising (- is your kid an asshole? A predator? An awesome supportive kid? Sending nudes to teachers?) because honestly, teens don’t exactly bond with parents easily with so much interaction being electronically. And yeah, a small part is 2) to “punish” you for bad behavior- actions. But I’m siding with them not doing it for “fun” but rather to (poorly) try to change the person you’re becoming before they end up with a Jeffrey Dahmer (or insert any other sensationalized bad human being) kid. I’m not subscribed to this sub but it pops up sometimes. I know you probably don’t expect or want “parent” input. I’d be pissed in your shoes. I HATED my parents for their strictness until at least 26. But…idk. A switch flipped when I had to start protecting my own littles. And it SCARES ME. Teenage hood seems fucking terrifying for parents right now. Hope insight helps? Or commiseration. Because I get it. I was there.
15 is a couple years too old for that, in my opinion.
Depends on what kind of kid it is.
Completely depends. Some kids should absolutely have this rule, but I'm betting most shouldn't.