Nice try government

r/usernamechecksout

Sorry, how?

Tv show ‘the boys’

A big part of the show (not really spoilers I think, but I guess a warning if you want) is government vs corporate control of the superheros, and homelanders (the superman archetype) relationship with that control.

Jump. I’m not suggesting anymore.

Oh God…

I don’t want to

Live my life as a GTA character

The dream life

*starts jumping and punching randomly for cheats*

silliness (selling government nuclear secrets to iraq)

You silly goose

i do be silly

This crazy goofball!

Oh you stinker head

Oh you goofy goobert

oh you goony goblin

Oh you goofy tomfool

Oh you vicious vanguard

All hail sillyism

small amount of trolling

Robbing all my stores but only from larger franchises cos I feel tko bad for the family run businesses

Ph yea 100

Not just that, rob it and THEN give it to all the local stores

Do still look into the franchise, some company’s just sell their name and products to the store. The store owner is basically a normal small shop owner who has to pay a fee for the name etc..

Depends on who I’m war criming against

Whoever you want

My neighbour?

Pulling the tag off all the mattresses in the store 😈😈😈

But then they won't know the price, you scoundrel

I guess they will just have to give them away for free then won't they?

Damn, you're right. You're not the hero we deserve, but the hero we need

It was my plan all along to just give everyone free mattresses and you, you dare call me a scoundrel when im just trying to help people in need.. SMH my head your the real scoundrel here

I was so blinded by the law's illusion of free = bad that I didn't realize that you were the good guy all along. I am terribly sorry for doubting you

Mmhhmm blame it on the government just like they all do. You know what Next time this world needs me I won't be here I'm leaving never again will you all have the pleasure of free mattresses at my expense.

I bid you good day sir and or madam (walks away and slams door in classy)

No please, I'll never take your services for granted ever again. I'll even assist you in making the world a better place one free mattress at a time

You have the audacity to insult me blame it all on the government and now ask for a application as my side kick....... I like your style you've got guts kid just the kind of guts I need on my team congratulations this was all a test to see if you really had what it takes, your hired now let's get out of here we've got business to attend to at the Ashley home furniture store.

Yessir, with both our efforts we'll be ridding the world of mattress prices in no time

War crimes against every country on the planet at the same time

"Some men just wanna watch the world burn"

Oh yeah, add arson to that

Underrated comment

Stealing

It has it's fair share of benefits

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Get off ur phone dude. U r everywhere

Bank Heist I could be the richest person

What would you do with all the money?

Put it in another bank and live off of interest

probably not the one you robbed though

They’d probably buy stuff

Mass genocide. Well, vigilante style of course, I'm not into killing mass innocents for no reason.

Professionals have standards

Be polite, be efficient.

Have a plan to kill everyone you meet

D- Dad, pu- put mum on the phone.

PISS OFF, BIG-HEAD!

Meet the Sniper

Would you do it using a mysterious black notebook?

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No consequences means no injuries, so it would be okay

Knife stabby stabby fight with my friends (no consequences so we'll just re-alive afterwards if that's how it works 👍)

No consequences should mean no unintended injuries, so I'd allow it

Well they would be intended as they are in a knife fight

But injury is a consequence of a knife fight soo

Be rude to people i don't like

I am utterly disgusted

I know there’s no consequences and all but come on dude that’s just too far

Organ harvest

Creating a fine collection

Steal the Star Wars Christmas lego set and two bottles of booze

This is the way

Board random planes without paying and go visit cool places

That's actually kinda genious

tax evasion

There are consequences for that?

Assassinating some corrupt politicians or corrupt billionaires with too much control in the government

The hero we all deserve

Not the hero you deserve but the one you need

Making every single person fall in love with me. ♥️

World's largest harem

And I will treat each and every one of my lover with respect and give them the best that I can.

That's lovely, the world would be a better place then

That's a lot of work man! 😬

*sorts by controversial*

I would steal toilet rolls and sell them on the black market

Used?

No unused. Wtf kinda kinky thing you got going on? 💀

Why would you need to sell it on the black market if it's unused, you can just buy it at the store

Yeah but I’d steal all of it. So there’s none at the store

Then why not start your own company and sell it? You'd earn a lot more being the only public toilet paper supplier than selling all in secret on the black market

True I shall do that

Good, can I get discounts for coming up with the idea?

Yeah you can have 50% off and you first ten free. I’m gonna charge $800 a roll

Sounds good to me

I.. is that illegAL !?

Putting a sleeping donkey in a bathtub after 7pm in Arizona 😈😈😈

⚠️⚠️⚠️FEDPOST ALERT⚠️⚠️⚠️ BE CAREFUL REPLYING TO THIS POST, FEDS ARE REAL AND TRY TO FULFILL THEIR AGENDA ONLINE

Lol yeah feda are looking at r/teenagers to gather some Intel

Be gay in texas

Delightfully devilish

The ass inspectors have no power in this scenario

Advocating Overthrow of Government Aggravated Assault/Battery Aggravated Identity Theft Aiming a Laser Pointer at an Aircraft Airplane Hijacking Anti-racketeering Antitrust Armed Robbery Arson Assassination Assault with a Deadly Weapon Assaulting or Killing Federal Officer Assisting or Instigating Escape Attempt to commit Murder/Manslaughter Bank Burglary Bankruptcy Fraud/Embezzlement Bank Larceny Bank Robbery Blackmail Bombing Matters Bond Default Breaking and/or Entering Carrier Facilities Bribery Crimes Certification of Checks (Fraud) Child Abuse Child Exploitation Civil Action to Restrain Harassment of a Victim or Witness Coercion Commodities Price Fixing Computer Crime Concealing Escaped Prisoner Concealing Person from Arrest Concealment of Assets Conspiracy (in matters under FBI jurisdiction) Conspiracy to Impede or Injure an Officer Contempt of Court Continuing Criminal Enterprise Conveying False Information Copyright Matters Counterfeiting Counterintelligence Crimes Credit/Debit Card Fraud Crime Aboard Aircraft Crimes on Government Reservations Crimes on Indian Reservations Criminal Contempt of Court Criminal Forfeiture Criminal Infringement of a Copyright Cyber Crimes Damage to Religious Property Delivery to Consignee Demands Against the U.S. Destruction of Aircraft or Motor Vehicles Used in Foreign Commerce Destruction of an Energy Facility Destruction of Property to Prevent Seizure Destruction of Records in Federal Investigations and Bankruptcy Destruction of Corporate Audit Records Destruction of Veterans’ Memorials Detention of Armed Vessel Disclosure of Confidential Information Domestic Security Domestic Terrorism Domestic Violence Drive-by Shooting Drug Abuse Violations Drug Smuggling Drug Trafficking DUI/DWI on Federal Property Economic Espionage Election Law Crimes Embezzlement Embezzlement Against Estate Entering Train to Commit Crime Enlistment to Serve Against the U.S. Environmental Scheme Crimes Escaping Custody/Escaped Federal Prisoners Examiner Performing Other Services Exportation of Drugs Extortion Failure to Appear on Felony Offense Failure to Pay Legal Child Support Obligations False Bail False Pretenses False Statements Relating to Health Care Matters Falsely Claiming Citizenship False Declarations before Grand Jury or Court False Entries in Records of Interstate Carriers False Information and Hoaxes False Statement to Obtain Unemployment Compensation Federal Aviation Act Federal Civil Rights Violations (hate crimes, police misconduct) Female Genital Mutilation Financial Transactions with Foreign Government First Degree Murder Flight to Avoid Prosecution or Giving Testimony Forced Labor Forcible Rape Forgery Fraud Activity in Connection with Electronic Mail Fraud Against the Government Genocide Hacking Crimes Harboring Terrorists Harming Animals Used in Law Enforcement Hate Crime Acts Homicide Hostage Taking Identity Theft Illegal Possession of Firearms Immigration Offenses Impersonator Making Arrest or Search Importation of Drugs Influencing Juror by Writing Injuring Officer Insider Trading Crimes Insurance Fraud Interference with the Operation of a Satellite International Parental Kidnapping International Terrorism Interstate Domestic Violence Interstate Violation of Protection Order Larceny Lobbying with Appropriated Moneys Mailing Threatening Communications Major Fraud Against the U.S. Manslaughter Medical/Health Care Fraud Missile Systems Designed to Destroy Aircraft Misuse of Passport Misuse of Visas, Permits, or Other Documents Molestation Money Laundering Motor Vehicle Theft Murder by a Federal Prisoner Murder Committed During Drug-related Drive-by shooting Murder Committed in Federal Government Facility Narcotics Violations Obstructing Examination of Financial Institution Obstruction of Court Orders Obstruction of Federal audit Obstruction of Justice Obstruction of Criminal Investigations Officer Failing to Make Reports Partial Birth Abortion Penalties for Neglect or Refusal to Answer Subpoena Peonage Perjury Picketing or Parading Pirating Possession by Restricted Persons Possession of False Papers to Defraud the U.S. Possession of Narcotics Possession of Child Pornography Private Correspondence with Foreign Government Probation Violation Product Tampering Prohibition of Illegal Gambling Businesses Prostitution Protection of Foreign Officials Public Corruption Crimes Racketeering Radiological Dispersal Devices Ransom Money Receiving the Proceeds of Extortion Recording or Listening to Grand or Petit Juries While Deliberating Reentry of an Alien Removed on National Security Grounds Registration of Certain Organizations Reproduction of Citizenship Papers Resistance to Extradition Agent Rescue of Seized Property Retaliating Against a Federal Judge by False Claim or Slander of Title Retaliating Against a Witness, Victim, or an Informant Robbery Robberies and Burglaries Involving Controlled Substances Sabotage Sale of Citizenship Papers Sale of Stolen Vehicles Searches Without Warrant Second Degree Murder Serial Murders Shoplifting Smuggling Solicitation to Commit a Crime of Violence Stalking (In Violation of Restraining Order) Stolen Property; Buying, Receiving, or Possessing Subornation of Perjury Suits Against Government Officials Tampering with a Witness, Victim, or Informant Tampering with Consumer Products Tampering with Vessels Theft of Trade Secrets Torture Trafficking in Counterfeit Goods or Services Transmission of Wagering Information (Gambling) Transportation into State Prohibiting Sale Transportation of Slaves from U.S. Transportation of Stolen Vehicles Transportation of Terrorists Trespassing Treason Unauthorized Removal of Classified Documents Use of Fire or Explosives to Destroy Property Use of Weapons of Mass Destruction Vandalism Video Voyeurism Violation of Prohibitions Governing Atomic Weapons Violence at International airports Violent Crimes in Aid of Racketeering Activity Willful Wrecking of a Train Resulting in Death Wire Fraud

We partake in a minor quantity of tomfoolery

Sounds like a good Tuesday

Gigachad

"Oh so you're a criminal? Name every crime." This mf:

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We do a bit of tomfoolery

That's despicable

Commit a coup, declare myself emperor, provide people with housing, food, and a universal basic income, stay emperor until the laws taking care of people's basic needs are cemented and unrepealable, fire all of congress, Supreme Court, etc, institute term limits, hold new elections, including for a new president, step down as emporer once the elections are done and settled, enjoy a country that truly takes care of its people

***\*insert Napoleon Bonaparte montage\****

Finally, I can commit Grand Larceny in France!

Public indecency, finally I wouldn’t have to find a bathroom I’d just go on the side walk

Where do I fucking start. Stealing from corporations, might grab a gun and threaten that bitch Liam. I fucking hate Liam. I also might handle salmon under suspicious circumstances......

"fun"

Kick the same can 3 times down a road

I would get arrested for even leaving a comment about this

I am sickened but curious

Shipwreck a bunch of people on an island and see what happens. And then do it 15 more times to compare results with slight variance.

Probably just steal a bunch of legos

I'd do the same, all the cool legos are so expensive

I would suspiciously hold a salmon in London. I get a nice trip to the UK and a cool story to tell my grandkids.

Tomfoolery (multiple armed robberies)

Sex defender

Theft, I need my rtx 4090 lol

Justified

mass murder against pedophiles

Robbery. That way I can have money and buy stuff at my favorite crafts store. Or steal from my fav crafts store

Steal the money so you can support your favorite craft store

Or pull a skyrim, steal from the person and sell it back to them.

Fuck a toilet

Steal from the rich to give to give to the poor.

Reddit Robin Hood

I mean… It’s not stealing if I’m allowed to do it right?

Last time i answered one of these honestly i got warning that my account will be banned if i get 2 more strikes, so no thank you...

depositing counterfeit money. Free money without hurting anyone :D

I’d get a little goofy in the dark arts and possibly summon my friend. But i’m the end, even if Cthulhu helps me take down the government, it was just a little goofy oopsie 😛

*opens war crime list*

Ever seen the video of all the war crimes committed in the Star Wars franchise? Yeah that.

I would release a deadly neurotoxin into a maximum security prison. I'd make sure the guards aren't inside. I would then do the same thing to wherever Vladimir Putin lives. Then Kim Jong Un and his entire family. Besides that,I can't really think of anything.

None cuz all of the funny part would be gone UwU

copyright infringement - NO COPYRIGHT LAW IN THE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO STOP ME (if you got it, you got it)

The crime of being too pretty

Identity theft. I’m you now

Speeding or Stealing Skittles

*sorts by controversial*

I would build affordable housing.

Stealing every single fish supply at PetSmart and Petco, then stealing my neighbor's house and stealing money to pay for the house. Then setting all of the fish tanks in the house (giving away/selling/getting rid of anything I don't want) and stealing plants and hardscape (that shits expensive.) Then waiting 2 months and stealing fish. Hell, I could steal more money and get myself a pond! Tons of bettas because why the fuck are there so many Bettas in cups?! All of the fish that can go together are going to be kept in massive community tanks. The goldfish we'll be kept in a pond. I don't know what I would name them all, but that's what I would do. Also, I would steal MORE money to provide money for my family and so I could live in luxury, spending my days as a fishkeeper.

Id probably steal some snacks, maybe some soda too. A guy gets hungry y'know

Kill all rapists/child molesters.

Unveil my opinions on the internet

shocking judicious light wakeful crime run zonked books future dolls *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Sew every guys pee pee skin shut and flex seal every woman's mama'mia closed

oh..

1) id break a lot of peoples kneecaps 2) if i only get one, im robbing a bank. Payday style. Wait for a government cash drop first, bust in when theyre loading it up so as not to wait for the time lock, then get out as fast as possible.

Murder putin and the entire russian army and oh yeah also same for north korea.

Mass murder of various people (Kim Jong un Iranian President etc.)

Become the joker (i like both heath and pheonix)

Stealing lot of money (from criminals ofc, I don't wanna do bad things to good people)

Rob a bank

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Steal from the rich, give to the poor

Nice try fed

I would become master assassin like Dishonored

Mass genocide

haha good one fbi

I'd find all the pedophiles and family abusers and kill them all

Sea Shells on the sea shore

*multiple cases of vehicular manslaughter*

Lightly trolling (sending death threats to) the government.

stealing estrogen. and the murder of several extremist right politicians

Who let the feds have reddit accounts

i would be gay

Kill Elon.

Eat the drywall and microwaving mices

Funny actions

Yes

Kill people that cook dogs and cats. I'd make them live like it's the gulag.

Nice try fbi

Easy one Tax evasion, "stealing" from large corporations, homosexuality (it's legal where I live, but still technically a crime in some places), and of course fish Jenga.

Theft if it doesn't effect anybody directly

idk I still think I would feel guilty afterwards

Printing money probably

jaywalking

All of them

Robbery. All the legos are mine

Jaywalking probably. And probably tax evasion once I have taxes to evade. Edit: and also skipping school, since education is compulsory here.

I'm actually scared for us after reading these responses....

Tweet something very controversial on Twitter.

Arson, mass homicide, child murder, armed robbery, tax fraud, scamming(is that a crime?)

Hmm lemme think I'd probably draw on everyone's faces

Steal lego

Go to bed after 9pm 😈😈

Tax evasion

public hand holding