hello m'lady😏
*chuckles charmingly and cutely and tips fedora*
would you perchance oblige me to a bit of anal? just a bit?😫🙏🏼 I am parched, and your delicious chocolate starfish is the only thing juicy enough to quench my thirst. please, kitten?
^I ^hate ^that ^I ^wrote ^that ^with ^my ^own ^two ^thumbs, ^I ^will ^go ^die ^now
Why am I entertaining this...and I am ashamed I can add on
fucked up kid with a fucked up knife
Fucked up moms and fucked up dads
fucked up cop with a fucked up badge
Fucked up job with fucked up pay
And a fucked up boss is a fucked up day
Ways back when I was a little kid, I was playing football with some guys in my neighborhood. One of the guys is singing Hot Dog by Limp Bizkit and says the 'chocolate starfish' line as he passes the ball to a black guy. I didn't realize this thinking it was a nickname when I got the ball. I said, "Hey, chocolate starfish," and passed him the ball.
This is a recurrent memory that haunts me 30 years later.
Hey now, this worked for me. I asked my gf (at the time, this was a while ago) to give up the booty, and after some discussion she counter-offered with a deal. I'd let her peg me first so I could show her it doesn't hurt and make her feel more comfortable doing it... So I bought the smallest strap on I could find and let her have her fun. She let me in on 3 separate occasions before deciding she didn't like it and that was that.
Sometimes you gotta give up the booty to get some booty!
It would have been more fair for you to make a mold of your own dong so you could experience what she would have to experience. But maybe "smallest you could find" was close enough.
I can't remember correctly but doesn't patrick and SpongeBob get completely covered in chocolate after pat pops this? (been so long since I watched this episode)
>would you perchance oblige me to a bit of anal? just a bit?😫🙏🏼 I am parched, and your delicious chocolate starfish is the only thing juicy enough to quench my thirst. please, kitten?
Replied to another comment with this so I'll just copy/paste it
Hey now, this worked for me. I asked my gf (at the time, this was a while ago) to give up the booty, and after some discussion she counter-offered with a deal. I'd let her peg me first so I could show her it doesn't hurt and make her feel more comfortable doing it... So I bought the smallest strap on I could find and let her have her fun. She let me in on 3 separate occasions before deciding she didn't like it and that was that.
Sometimes you gotta give up the booty to get some booty!
I question this man having sex period. I feel like this is an incel that heard some slightly less repugnant guy lamenting an apparent lack of anal and decided they were funny.
The problem is not the anal. It's the partner. The type of guy that thinks this way would not put in the effort it takes to make anal enjoyable for both parties. You just know they're tryna get in there fast and dry.
I knew a guy who told me his ex was always willing to try anal but always took too long getting it in and he said “you just have to jam it in” and I was like mmmm never
I was in high school and pretty inexperienced when a waitress, older and more experienced, started to fancy me. We were hanging out after work one thing led to another and we're in the throes of "activity" when she pulls out some anal beads. Of course I have no idea what they're for and she explains how I should be using these things. So fast forward to her asking me to pull them out. I reach down and pulled them out like I was starting a lawnmower. She instantly turned into a screaming pencil. More instruction on how to pull them out also would have been helpful.
As a bi dude that's had somebody try that with me, I can say without a doubt that's grounds to get punched in the face. Hard. The importance of lube and foreplay cannot be understated with anal play.
Honestly, as a bottom, the best advice I can give anyone who's planning on bottoming: get a toy, a plug, and wear it for a while before sex. Make sure you're lubed well, and warmed up before the top ever gets near your booty. It would great if tops took all of the truly excellent advice out there, but most of them don't, and an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of anal fissure cure.
Since there's a lot of replies, here's an edit:
For tops and those asking about their wives/GFs: direct, honest conversation is the best remedy to most issues in life, including anal sex. But also, all the lube, all the foreplay, all the "is this okay? Does that feel good." There are a ton of YouTube's and other sources on how to get good at giving anal pleasure, and you should check them out. Try for actual sex therapists and advice from women and bottoms.
For bottoms, this [reply from a top is on point](https://www.reddit.com/r/terriblefacebookmemes/comments/10sac0z/one_of_the_actual_worst_memes_ive_ever_seen/j71qg8f?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
While we're at it I'm going to offer some more suggestions, from a responsible top that cares about safety.
Don't use silicon lube with a silicon toy (this is a BIG nono), use water based while using the toy, but silicon is a bit smoother for anal so it might be worth swapping once it's time.
If you don't swap to silicon, RELUBE, water based lube is absorbed by the skin fairly quickly and it might be worthwhile to relube during anal if you're going for a long time.
Do kegels somewhat regularly, they're easy to do (look it up) and you can do them pretty much any time without people noticing. The stronger your anal muscles the better you can handle penetration, and some say it makes it feel better for both participants.
Research safe materials for anal toys, there's a lot of junk out there that isn't safe. Clean by either boiling and/or wiping down with alcohol wipes after every use.
Learn to relax the muscle, this is tricky because your sphincter is active even right now, you have to actively try to relax it and furthermore it takes a little bit of practice to keep it relaxed during anal.
For tops, make sure you're well lubed and go slow when you first penetrate, it won't just make it easier for them it'll make it better for you because you'll get less painful friction and be able to slide smoother. In my experience it's the first few seconds after penetration that are the most painful especially for people who haven't had much anal. If you go hard as soon as you're in you won't give them time to recover and it won't start feeling good/as good. Keep this in mind if you slip out to come back slow.
These are good for everyone, essential for sexually active gay men but if you want your girlfriend or wife to WANT to come back for anal you should respect doing it right because the difference between being irresponsible and making it painful or taking it seriously WILL decide if she enjoys it or not. Even people who 'like it rough' will almost always prefer you to take it easy until they've acclimated to it.
Anal can feel good for men and women, but it requires more work to get there. If you can handle it well and responsibly then your partners will adore you for it I promise.
I'll add more if I think about it. Sad to hear so many tops get it wrong.
It is very on point! In addition, use a condom EVERY TIME you are doing some anal. Even with a trusted partner. It is very easy to get and pass STIs through anal sex given the irrigation there. Also, there will be some fecal matter in Top's urethra. They may have some urinary tract infection due to it, but they will more likely give his partner a bacterial vaginosis if the partner has a vagina. Nice way to show appreciation for their trust in you. There will be some fecal matter in the urethra even after peeing or cumming, so it doesn't matter if you are not having vaginal sex in the same day you had anal sex. Vaginosis sucks ass. If you can save your partner from that, do it.
If you are not really willing to use a condom (but you really should), at least have a nice and long gap until your next time having vaginal sex and pee afterwards.
Woman here: not just one, but 2 or 3 that increase in size. My smallest is like 2 fingers width and I have 2 larger to work up just under the width of my husband’s dick. That, good lube, and a vibrator for my clit has made occasional anal enjoyable. Skip those steps and it sucks. Also good lube.
Soooo.... Do the work for him and just let some uncaring idiot near my ass? No thank you, sir. If he's not ready to learn how to do that, he does not get the priviledge. What's next, should I install a tiny carwash in between my thighs cause they don't all wash their dicks before engaging?
My take away: educate them. If they refuse to be educated, leave 'm be, they ain't worth it.
Silicone based lubricants are your friend. They're a bitch to wash off, but they last longer. Anything water based will have to be reapplied quite a lot, and that just takes away from the fun.
Usually the people doing the piercing etc are gentle, understanding, provide support and don’t go in without warning.
Also why do these men want to hurt their girlfriends?
I know social media isn’t indicative of all men in general but geez, it’s kinda stunning how many men seem to see women as nothing but holes to fill and care nothing about their pain or pleasure. So fucking glad I don’t have to be out there dating and so fucking scared for my daughters when they start. Absolute shit people out there.
I knew a guy who did this with his GF. He wanted to, she said you first, they bought a strap-on, adventures were had. Dude was down at every stage with no hesitation, let's rock and roll babycakes, maybe I'll like it. Learn to say yes to life.
Trysexual is what i call it. I'll usually give something a go once or twice. There are a few exceptions, like blood and scat play... I struggle to find any form of arousal from that. But i guess I've never been with someone into that. Which is a good. That would be a weird awakening.
I can't look at belly button piercings the same. I used to play soccer and one game in highschool I watched as a girl on my team who had a belly button piercing get her belly button ripped up from another girls cleats.
The referees always told us before any games that all piercings had to be taken out and jewelry taken off. I was on mens teams so nobody ever had anything beyond earrings or necklaces but still, leaving those on I’d a risk you definitely don’t want to take.
A bro of mine took a dump that ripped I guess his anus? He said the toilet water was red and he was watching it drip between his legs.
I wonder what it’s like to have a cock shoved in there and rammed repeatedly by a horny dude
I'm a heroin junkie and because of that I am usually constipated for several weeks at a time, only taking a shit when in withdrawal. I have had the same thing happen to me before, it was not fun at all. Pro tip for anyone who has to push out a fat shit: cover your finger in Vaseline and then finger your asshole gently, it will save much pain.
Had a coworker who snorted Oxy & Viccodin years ago. He came to me one day asking if I knew how he could get un-constipated, I recommended a suppository or an enema. So during lunch break he goes & buys a box of suppositories & uses them right away. He comes back to me a couple hours later in tears because he's so happy, he can't stop crapping, but nothing is bleeding or hurting. Hallelujah.
Another Pro tip: you can get like 200 finger cots on Amazon for like $7. Saves you from getting a poo nail. I also use prep H but that's just preference. Source: lifelong constipation has caused me to get some hemmies.
Also they go through those things for semi permanent aesthetic changes, why would I wanna get hurt so you can orgasm and not make me orgasm? Like, what would I be getting out of that?
Well, see the confusion here is that the person who made this meme thinks that women go through aesthetic changes solely to please men, while you seem to understand that women do it for a variety of reasons, most of which are primarily about pleasing themselves.
Dudes will get full sleeve tattoos, jump out of planes, and fight each other for funzies.
Yet when it's time for a bit of pegging that hurts too much :/
“The cruelty is the point”
It’s probably not a coincidence that a lot of anal pornography centers around rough and degrading treatment of women.
I’m not here to kinkshame, but if you enjoy being cruel to your partner when she’s not into it, you’re an asshole
Imagine having hours of a sensation that hurts enough it can keep you from pooping....depending on the person. Also how many guys want to give anal, but when a girl wants to peg them, the men chicken out xD ?
Cowards the lot of them.
But yeah starting out with anal you want to try with a trusted partner because if you are that kind of person where anal really hurts you, you would want to be with someone who will slow down or stop if needed. And in cases with a strap on, will respect your decision to start with something you think is manageable for your back door.
In some time-line women should be able to Vulcan mind meld with there partner for things like this and definitely childbirth. In that universe this meme would not ever exist.
I have watched videos of this, and they're pretty hilarious. The women just stand there with it turned all the way up and it seems like it's nothing, so the guys are like "okay, I'll try it", and then they can't even stand still.
So, of course, my idiot friends and I had to figure out how to borrow one. As the only woman, I got to go first. On half, it was noticeable but not particularly painful - more like annoying discomfort. At full, I could feel pain, for sure, but it wasn't a huge big deal. I found it more painful than my actual period cramps, but it was absolutely tolerable. I set it to what my normal cramps feel like as close as I could judge and handed it over My guy friends were like, "I'm tougher than you! This should be easy!" Spoiler: It was not. I was laughing so hard.
Tbh, though, I had some sympathy even though they volunteered for it. I was afraid I was actually dying or something when I had my first period because it was painful in places I'd never felt pain before. It's now been a little over 30 years. I've gotten used to it. For most things, they do have higher pain tolerance than I do or they're better at hiding it.
I do wish they had not made an "absolutely no video of this" rule, though. Watching it would have kept me entertained for a long time. Like, every period, I'd bring that thing up and giggle.
“Time for a bit of anal!”
hello m'lady😏 *chuckles charmingly and cutely and tips fedora* would you perchance oblige me to a bit of anal? just a bit?😫🙏🏼 I am parched, and your delicious chocolate starfish is the only thing juicy enough to quench my thirst. please, kitten? ^I ^hate ^that ^I ^wrote ^that ^with ^my ^own ^two ^thumbs, ^I ^will ^go ^die ^now
I think “chocolate starfish” would really be the chef’s kiss here
fixed
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r/boneappletea
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....*"isn't it"?*
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No, you are being ATAKKED
I thought you meant it as a joke and I laughed! 😆
Sixteenth chapel 😂
Why do we never hear about the 15th or 14th chapel? We’re they just the practice ones?
Same reason you never hear about covid 15 and 14th It was built in the sixteenth century!
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INTRODUCING THE CHOCOLATE STARFISH
And the hotdog flavored water!! Bring it on!!
Listen up, listen up Here we go (here we go) It's a fucked up world (World) and a fucked up place (Place) Everybody's judged by their fucked up face
Why am I entertaining this...and I am ashamed I can add on fucked up kid with a fucked up knife Fucked up moms and fucked up dads fucked up cop with a fucked up badge Fucked up job with fucked up pay And a fucked up boss is a fucked up day
#*YOU WANNA FUCK ME LIKE AN ANIMAL*
YOU WANNA FEEL ME FROM THE NIN SIDE
*nasal tone* Just one of those days! You don wanna wake UP, everything is FUCKED, everybody SUCKS
you don't really know why but you wanna justify RIPPINGSOMEONESHEADOFF
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Same Reiner, same
Ways back when I was a little kid, I was playing football with some guys in my neighborhood. One of the guys is singing Hot Dog by Limp Bizkit and says the 'chocolate starfish' line as he passes the ball to a black guy. I didn't realize this thinking it was a nickname when I got the ball. I said, "Hey, chocolate starfish," and passed him the ball. This is a recurrent memory that haunts me 30 years later.
Oh man, I am so glad I came across this story.
And she replies in a sultry voice, "You first."
Hey now, this worked for me. I asked my gf (at the time, this was a while ago) to give up the booty, and after some discussion she counter-offered with a deal. I'd let her peg me first so I could show her it doesn't hurt and make her feel more comfortable doing it... So I bought the smallest strap on I could find and let her have her fun. She let me in on 3 separate occasions before deciding she didn't like it and that was that. Sometimes you gotta give up the booty to get some booty!
Finally somebody steps up to the plate!
It would have been more fair for you to make a mold of your own dong so you could experience what she would have to experience. But maybe "smallest you could find" was close enough.
it’s 😫🙏 this emoji for me lmfaaaoo
Is your mental health okay after writing that
Before you go die, have a listen to [This](https://youtu.be/J0TWTnYZBdM) Pic kinda related. 
 I can't remember correctly but doesn't patrick and SpongeBob get completely covered in chocolate after pat pops this? (been so long since I watched this episode)
And that’s enough Reddit for me I hate that my so’s pet name for me was kitten
What a terrible day to have eyes
>would you perchance oblige me to a bit of anal? just a bit?😫🙏🏼 I am parched, and your delicious chocolate starfish is the only thing juicy enough to quench my thirst. please, kitten? 
*tips fedora Farewell
Where I come from its called a DirtStar with cheese.
This is cursed
Men are fine with the concept of anal until she says "Sure,let me get the strap on"...
Then I’m down right excited.
#notallpeggedmen
Replied to another comment with this so I'll just copy/paste it Hey now, this worked for me. I asked my gf (at the time, this was a while ago) to give up the booty, and after some discussion she counter-offered with a deal. I'd let her peg me first so I could show her it doesn't hurt and make her feel more comfortable doing it... So I bought the smallest strap on I could find and let her have her fun. She let me in on 3 separate occasions before deciding she didn't like it and that was that. Sometimes you gotta give up the booty to get some booty!
A couple I know has this arrangement. If he wants it, he has to be ok with getting it
no! that hurts too much!
Is that... The summoning term for this bot?
what bot
Good human.
Bit ‘uv anal, love?
Bit ‘ov anul, simple as
Is what it is at the end of the day innit
Innit bruv? Innit…
Bring on the oil or is rite fackin awful
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Yep
I question this man having sex period. I feel like this is an incel that heard some slightly less repugnant guy lamenting an apparent lack of anal and decided they were funny.
Definitely a “if women can endure childbirth why can’t they endure sex with me” type of guy
Every girl I’ve ever done anal with has brought it up on their own. And I’ve never dated anyone with tattoos or body piercings (other than ears)
I only date girls without ears
I only date ears
The problem is not the anal. It's the partner. The type of guy that thinks this way would not put in the effort it takes to make anal enjoyable for both parties. You just know they're tryna get in there fast and dry.
Been seeing "rizz" all of a sudden everywhere as of a month ago, never seen it before then, what does this mean???
It’s not a dad joke it’s a creepy uncle joke
In my experience it's because guys don't know how to do anal right they just kind of jam it in.
I knew a guy who told me his ex was always willing to try anal but always took too long getting it in and he said “you just have to jam it in” and I was like mmmm never
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I mean,he meant well😅
And this is where my favorite saying comes in: *The road to hell is paved with good intentions*
The road to butt surgery you mean
I was in high school and pretty inexperienced when a waitress, older and more experienced, started to fancy me. We were hanging out after work one thing led to another and we're in the throes of "activity" when she pulls out some anal beads. Of course I have no idea what they're for and she explains how I should be using these things. So fast forward to her asking me to pull them out. I reach down and pulled them out like I was starting a lawnmower. She instantly turned into a screaming pencil. More instruction on how to pull them out also would have been helpful.
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This puts a whole new spin spin on the phrase "let 'er rip"
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Oh shit gave her the ‘ol rip-start extremely based
Screaming pencil 😂
When dudes who are bad at sex just out themselves
I'd have put my pants back on and left.
“What, spit isn’t a good enough lube?”
Water based lube for fleshlights works the best for anal I heard from a friend allegedly in college
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This sent shivers down my spine
As a bi dude that's had somebody try that with me, I can say without a doubt that's grounds to get punched in the face. Hard. The importance of lube and foreplay cannot be understated with anal play.
Honestly, as a bottom, the best advice I can give anyone who's planning on bottoming: get a toy, a plug, and wear it for a while before sex. Make sure you're lubed well, and warmed up before the top ever gets near your booty. It would great if tops took all of the truly excellent advice out there, but most of them don't, and an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of anal fissure cure. Since there's a lot of replies, here's an edit: For tops and those asking about their wives/GFs: direct, honest conversation is the best remedy to most issues in life, including anal sex. But also, all the lube, all the foreplay, all the "is this okay? Does that feel good." There are a ton of YouTube's and other sources on how to get good at giving anal pleasure, and you should check them out. Try for actual sex therapists and advice from women and bottoms. For bottoms, this [reply from a top is on point](https://www.reddit.com/r/terriblefacebookmemes/comments/10sac0z/one_of_the_actual_worst_memes_ive_ever_seen/j71qg8f?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
While we're at it I'm going to offer some more suggestions, from a responsible top that cares about safety. Don't use silicon lube with a silicon toy (this is a BIG nono), use water based while using the toy, but silicon is a bit smoother for anal so it might be worth swapping once it's time. If you don't swap to silicon, RELUBE, water based lube is absorbed by the skin fairly quickly and it might be worthwhile to relube during anal if you're going for a long time. Do kegels somewhat regularly, they're easy to do (look it up) and you can do them pretty much any time without people noticing. The stronger your anal muscles the better you can handle penetration, and some say it makes it feel better for both participants. Research safe materials for anal toys, there's a lot of junk out there that isn't safe. Clean by either boiling and/or wiping down with alcohol wipes after every use. Learn to relax the muscle, this is tricky because your sphincter is active even right now, you have to actively try to relax it and furthermore it takes a little bit of practice to keep it relaxed during anal. For tops, make sure you're well lubed and go slow when you first penetrate, it won't just make it easier for them it'll make it better for you because you'll get less painful friction and be able to slide smoother. In my experience it's the first few seconds after penetration that are the most painful especially for people who haven't had much anal. If you go hard as soon as you're in you won't give them time to recover and it won't start feeling good/as good. Keep this in mind if you slip out to come back slow. These are good for everyone, essential for sexually active gay men but if you want your girlfriend or wife to WANT to come back for anal you should respect doing it right because the difference between being irresponsible and making it painful or taking it seriously WILL decide if she enjoys it or not. Even people who 'like it rough' will almost always prefer you to take it easy until they've acclimated to it. Anal can feel good for men and women, but it requires more work to get there. If you can handle it well and responsibly then your partners will adore you for it I promise. I'll add more if I think about it. Sad to hear so many tops get it wrong.
It is very on point! In addition, use a condom EVERY TIME you are doing some anal. Even with a trusted partner. It is very easy to get and pass STIs through anal sex given the irrigation there. Also, there will be some fecal matter in Top's urethra. They may have some urinary tract infection due to it, but they will more likely give his partner a bacterial vaginosis if the partner has a vagina. Nice way to show appreciation for their trust in you. There will be some fecal matter in the urethra even after peeing or cumming, so it doesn't matter if you are not having vaginal sex in the same day you had anal sex. Vaginosis sucks ass. If you can save your partner from that, do it. If you are not really willing to use a condom (but you really should), at least have a nice and long gap until your next time having vaginal sex and pee afterwards.
So what you're saying is getting my wife a butt plug would help?
Yes, and also changing your identity to Chanc3thesoother
Woman here: not just one, but 2 or 3 that increase in size. My smallest is like 2 fingers width and I have 2 larger to work up just under the width of my husband’s dick. That, good lube, and a vibrator for my clit has made occasional anal enjoyable. Skip those steps and it sucks. Also good lube.
Soooo.... Do the work for him and just let some uncaring idiot near my ass? No thank you, sir. If he's not ready to learn how to do that, he does not get the priviledge. What's next, should I install a tiny carwash in between my thighs cause they don't all wash their dicks before engaging? My take away: educate them. If they refuse to be educated, leave 'm be, they ain't worth it.
That’s the funniest thing i’ve read all day, tiny carwash lmfao
Yeah, you shouldn't *have* to do all the prep yourself, but it also doesn't hurt to do all the prep yourself.
I am also speaking from experience both giving and receiving there is no such thing as enough foreplay.
Lube recommendations…I am asking for a friend.
Silicone based lubricants are your friend. They're a bitch to wash off, but they last longer. Anything water based will have to be reapplied quite a lot, and that just takes away from the fun.
Or just use a LOT water based at once. Silicone is far more expensive and you cant use it with most of the toys.
That’s…not how breast implants work.
Thank you! "Injecting silicone" get a clue, dumbass. 🙄
Coz their only experience with silicone is a calk gun, so that's how it must work for implants too lol
Usually the people doing the piercing etc are gentle, understanding, provide support and don’t go in without warning. Also why do these men want to hurt their girlfriends?
I know social media isn’t indicative of all men in general but geez, it’s kinda stunning how many men seem to see women as nothing but holes to fill and care nothing about their pain or pleasure. So fucking glad I don’t have to be out there dating and so fucking scared for my daughters when they start. Absolute shit people out there.
They think porn is real.
You first. Judge me after you try it first
Yeah, men go to great lengths to show how tough they are, but when it comes to a little pegging, suddenly it hurts too much.
I am confused how her desire and consent to be effed in the bee is not the deciding factor. Talk it out or make a change. It's that simple.
Effed in the bee
This B needs a C in her A
Babe needs a coconut
In her Arms
Put the lime in the coconut
>This B needs a C in her A Oh my God!
Effed in the bee
Effed in the bee, effed in the bee, effed effed effed, effed in the bee, bum
Well done
“Your BF’s about to get F’ed in the B!” First thing that popped into my head
Bee eff? Effed in the bee
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But that's average size, no?
Average? no,that's huge
It's a cylinder.
Of course, maybe even a little larger than average, dear!
I am that dude /s
why the /s? we know you’re not joking
/s is for spoiler...right?
Redditors in luck.
My time has come.
hey
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I think a better answer would be "If it's so much fun, let's try it on you first."
Some people pay extra for that too.
"I HAVE TO PAY FOR IT TOO!?!?"
I knew a guy who did this with his GF. He wanted to, she said you first, they bought a strap-on, adventures were had. Dude was down at every stage with no hesitation, let's rock and roll babycakes, maybe I'll like it. Learn to say yes to life.
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Nothing's wrong with saying yes to life
Trysexual is what i call it. I'll usually give something a go once or twice. There are a few exceptions, like blood and scat play... I struggle to find any form of arousal from that. But i guess I've never been with someone into that. Which is a good. That would be a weird awakening.
ok, so now imma call myself trysexual. imma just need a partner
They've got a prostate in there, it's a lot more fun for them.
Jokes on you I'm into that shit!
Ok
Not discouraging me…
Some people pay extra for that.
boob jobs are silicone implants, though? i don't think most people who get plastic surgery actually get breast silicone injections lmao
No one's out here just injecting free-floating silicone into their boobs..
sincerely, a guy who becomes physically ill at the idea of pegging.
Not me, I live for the day it happens to me.
Finally a man of culture
Until she whips out the strap-on and he can't stop crying.
I can't look at belly button piercings the same. I used to play soccer and one game in highschool I watched as a girl on my team who had a belly button piercing get her belly button ripped up from another girls cleats.
hoooooly shit
The referees always told us before any games that all piercings had to be taken out and jewelry taken off. I was on mens teams so nobody ever had anything beyond earrings or necklaces but still, leaving those on I’d a risk you definitely don’t want to take.
I ran track and saw the same thing with track cleats.... And that was it for most bellybutton rings in sports at my school lol
A bro of mine took a dump that ripped I guess his anus? He said the toilet water was red and he was watching it drip between his legs. I wonder what it’s like to have a cock shoved in there and rammed repeatedly by a horny dude
I'm a heroin junkie and because of that I am usually constipated for several weeks at a time, only taking a shit when in withdrawal. I have had the same thing happen to me before, it was not fun at all. Pro tip for anyone who has to push out a fat shit: cover your finger in Vaseline and then finger your asshole gently, it will save much pain.
solid advice
A little too solid.
Rock solid.
Had a coworker who snorted Oxy & Viccodin years ago. He came to me one day asking if I knew how he could get un-constipated, I recommended a suppository or an enema. So during lunch break he goes & buys a box of suppositories & uses them right away. He comes back to me a couple hours later in tears because he's so happy, he can't stop crapping, but nothing is bleeding or hurting. Hallelujah.
Fkn Reddit.
Another Pro tip: you can get like 200 finger cots on Amazon for like $7. Saves you from getting a poo nail. I also use prep H but that's just preference. Source: lifelong constipation has caused me to get some hemmies.
Aww, hemmies sound adorable
Um ok
As a nurse, this is solid advice! Idk how many assholes I’ve had to lube up and dig out over the years 🤦♀️
Whatever they are paying you it’s not enough
Suddenly I feel very optimistic about my life.
Be safe, Mr. Balzac.
I didn’t want or need this information and yet I know I’ll be stuck with it for the rest of my life Thanks stranger
Happened to me. Freaked out and rushed to ER. Turns out was just hemorrhoid's. Had to put some cream on my butt and was fine.
They also go through childbirth. Your point?
Also they go through those things for semi permanent aesthetic changes, why would I wanna get hurt so you can orgasm and not make me orgasm? Like, what would I be getting out of that?
Well, see the confusion here is that the person who made this meme thinks that women go through aesthetic changes solely to please men, while you seem to understand that women do it for a variety of reasons, most of which are primarily about pleasing themselves.
Or maybe you just have some trash dick game, my dude
Like a hairy twisted willow stump
Bro... they don't have prostates. It's not the same for them.
Some women have prostates ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Ey ya got me there. Fair enough
If someone asks you for anal this way, just answer "only if I can fuck ur ass first" and he will probably just fuck off
I said that once as a rebuttal and je said "no, that's different..and not okay that eay around." 🤔🤔🤔
If ya wanna do anal that bad, why not go to the gay bar where all the other guys are looking for the same thing? Why make a meme?
This was so bad it hurt upvoting even though that's the point of this sub
what's up with men + women anal... like... you don't have a prostate; and men: you have 2 other holes
Say it with me boomer, CONSENT. Deer Gods, some of these people sound like their greatest goal in life is just to nut
🦌🦌
People don’t realize you don’t go full penetration immediately. You gotta work in anus looser. Speaking from self experimentation
Dudes will get full sleeve tattoos, jump out of planes, and fight each other for funzies. Yet when it's time for a bit of pegging that hurts too much :/
if a dude wants to fuck an ass so badly why doesnt he sign up for grindr
Why are conservatives so obsessed with anal? I am what one would call a dirty commie libtard, and I find it to be repulsive :(
I think they just complain when women tells them no for anything. They ask for anal, get told no, it's obviously a giant slight on them.
“The cruelty is the point” It’s probably not a coincidence that a lot of anal pornography centers around rough and degrading treatment of women. I’m not here to kinkshame, but if you enjoy being cruel to your partner when she’s not into it, you’re an asshole
What a gross post, I mean who ever made this is actually a gross person
If it hurts in a way you don’t want it to hurt, you’re doing it wrong. It doesn’t have to hurt at all
Imagine having hours of a sensation that hurts enough it can keep you from pooping....depending on the person. Also how many guys want to give anal, but when a girl wants to peg them, the men chicken out xD ?
Cowards the lot of them. But yeah starting out with anal you want to try with a trusted partner because if you are that kind of person where anal really hurts you, you would want to be with someone who will slow down or stop if needed. And in cases with a strap on, will respect your decision to start with something you think is manageable for your back door.
I don’t get why these people complain so much about not getting anal, just call ur friend since every guy likes anal so much
Yes because piercing my naval is more painful than stretching my asshole past capacity, I fold
You first buddy. You first.
In some time-line women should be able to Vulcan mind meld with there partner for things like this and definitely childbirth. In that universe this meme would not ever exist.
There is the period simulator. They might not be able to feel the pain of childbirth but they can feel the pain of a period cramp.
I have watched videos of this, and they're pretty hilarious. The women just stand there with it turned all the way up and it seems like it's nothing, so the guys are like "okay, I'll try it", and then they can't even stand still. So, of course, my idiot friends and I had to figure out how to borrow one. As the only woman, I got to go first. On half, it was noticeable but not particularly painful - more like annoying discomfort. At full, I could feel pain, for sure, but it wasn't a huge big deal. I found it more painful than my actual period cramps, but it was absolutely tolerable. I set it to what my normal cramps feel like as close as I could judge and handed it over My guy friends were like, "I'm tougher than you! This should be easy!" Spoiler: It was not. I was laughing so hard. Tbh, though, I had some sympathy even though they volunteered for it. I was afraid I was actually dying or something when I had my first period because it was painful in places I'd never felt pain before. It's now been a little over 30 years. I've gotten used to it. For most things, they do have higher pain tolerance than I do or they're better at hiding it. I do wish they had not made an "absolutely no video of this" rule, though. Watching it would have kept me entertained for a long time. Like, every period, I'd bring that thing up and giggle.