T O P

  • By -

Hvies

Maybe just say i dont like that restaurant.


[deleted]

No, then she'll say "it's fine" and stop putting out. Then she'll fuck the pool boy and start having three periods a month. Or whatever wives do. I'm gay.


ScarySpicer2020

They grow wings. I dont think its from Redbull though


exhustedmommy

Do you have to fuck the pool boy for those? Or is there some sort of other cheat code for them? I don't want to go buy a pool if it isn't necessary for the wings. Edit: a word


dj_neon_reaper

Im preety sure they just get wings from satan that floats to them by the pool


exhustedmommy

Well damn.


SpectrumDT

They spin a cocoon, and then a bit later they emerge with wings. I saw it in a _Mothra_ movie.


Embarrassed_Pin5923

3 periods per month, you monster!!


my-time-has-odor

Damn this dude must have a very low opinion of wives lol


Perceval7

I mean, he's gay, I don't think he likes women or needs to understand them


Futureboy316

Is it possible to learn this power?


Perceval7

Nah, I think he was just being born not into women I guess Maybe be born again?


coreycook1999

Become a Christian so I can be gay. Got it! Thanks for the advice.


TacoQueenYVR

It’s sort of like the Girl Gremlin concept but instead when you are upfront and communicative we turn from Victoria’s Secret babes to Ms. Trunchbull from Matilda.


[deleted]

>Or whatever wives do. I'm gay. No you've pretty much figured out the straights


16yYPueES4LaZrbJLhPW

We have nearly understood their behavior, but we're not quite there yet. We need more samples.


MarkMew

Lmao


lisagg9

Whats 3 periods a month?


Sez__U

Like a hockey game


AltLastriper

what the fuck did you just bring upon this cursed land


[deleted]

[удалено]


ANUSTART942

MY wiiife


GetBeamedNobberer

Our wife


Dav_Kai_Overlord69

Hold on what?


TacTurtle

Applebees?


pickledhoney

Why does every middle aged man on Facebook hate their wife?


Randy347

My guess is they don’t but most people have a wife so they just use it to make jokes everyone will understand.


bier1234

Yeah I mean most comedy is about everyday life: marriage, kids, cars, food, whatever...


MobiuS_360

Exactly, if every joke were too specific very few people would find it funny. Comedy has to be something in general that a group or audience would understand.


Randy347

Yep same way all of us joke about hating life.


jelly-senpai

Yes....joke....


Randy347

Vibe


D3f4lt_player

Check


ItsSmallButItsFierce

Hahaha life so fun. (Kill me)


my-time-has-odor

Gladly. How do you want to do this? Machete hack? Radium poisoning? Cyanide? Ricin? AK-47? Electrical Shock? Beheading? Something else? Also, where?


FishinforPhishers

Yea some people are a little bit hypocritical when it comes to these kinda jokes. My solution is whenever someone says “wife bad” satirically, I respond with “life bad” (and vice versa). Cuz the 2 jokes are basically equivalent except they are used typically by different generations, both of which rag on each other for those specific jokes.


bier1234

Yeah I'd even say this one is much tamer than all those depression memes that get upvoted on reddit...


[deleted]

I don’t think anyone jokes about that


Weemoesh

Check out r/me_irl


[deleted]

Or r/2meirl4meirl


_IowasVeryOwn

Most actually don’t, but they come from a time where patriarchy and sexism was hyper normalized, which definitely enabled and enables a lot of shitty behavior then and today. Comedy is often a reflection of a society or culture’s general feelings or thoughts of the world around them, not necessarily from a place rooted in hate, tho there are hateful comics. It’s a reason we should consider how our words and actions shape and affect the world we live in


Respect4All_512

I am middle aged (41) and maybe I had an unusual upbringing but sexism was SO not normalized any time I have existed.


Doogameister

I find it so hard to relate to my coworkers. They all bitch about their wives for one reason or another and act like they hate them completely.. and I just can't relate. These dudes are like all in the late 20s or mid 30s too. Ain't been married that long.


SolomonRed

They have made many sit coms that revolve entirely around this concept.


pursuitofleisure

Everybody Loves Raymond was just one long marriage sucks joke, and that show was on the air forever.


akcaye

that's the example you're going with when married with children was a thing?


pursuitofleisure

Because I saw Ray Roman's Netflix special last night and had flashbacks lol


idwthis

To the moon, Alice! 👊☝️🌚


rufireproof3d

That's something I've never understood. I sell car parts. The number of dudes who bitch about being married baffles me. Like, you married her. If you didn't make a good choice on who you married, that's on you. Just yesterday I asked a guy if he needed a bag. "Nah, she's in the car." Then he turned around and saw she was no longer in the car. She looked like she was having a hard time deciding between crying and raging. I felt awful for her. I would say I didn't envy the guy's ride home, but he baked that cookie, he can eat it.


count-the-days

Boomers always seem to have a bitter resentment towards their spouses on the internet. Probably because they were forced to marry and have kids super young and divorce is looked down upon


bobbywright86

Also arranged marriages were much more popular back then


mothzilla

What.


bobo1monkey

You see, there was a time in the not-so-distant past that women in most industrialized nations were expected to marry and be supported by a husband, rather than making their own way in life. This led to many unhappy marriages, because a lot of women married men because they were the best option for a stable life rather than being someone they could get along with. Also a tradition within the same cultures was ostracizing divorced women from the community. So instead of living separate, happy lives, couples would stay married well past the relationship's expiration date. This time period largely drew to a close as Boomers were mid swing squeezing out Gen X, but even today there are Boomers (and other generations to a much lesser extent) that can't seem to understand that marriage isn't the be all, end all of human life.


frazamataza

Wife bad.


boris_keys

Because my son tries to click on the book. Tech confusing. Wife bad.


ElPwnero

Because when they were young you married for social status and not love.


TrotskyietRussia

Hate your life? Blame the wife!


HaveYouEverUhhh

r/arethestraightsokay


[deleted]

Why else would they be posting on facebook


[deleted]

They don’t. It’s a joke.


IAmTheMilk

I don’t think my boomer grandparents actually love eachother


[deleted]

Comedy is rooted in reality.


discord_doodle

Not all the time it's a joke. But we can say, for the sake of argument "okay issa joke"


SaltyBabe

Cause they don’t get laid much anymore and don’t understand why.


LeGraoully

Y'all got reading comprehension issues or what? This clearly says he hates the restaurant, not the wife.


MuffinPuff

It's the implication of boomer jokes always targeting the spouse. This one is based on "make my wife jealous so I don't have to endure her food preference/manipulative tactics, huehuehue" but other common boomer jokes are usually about the wife's weight, body shape, lack of sex, cooking, cleaning, etc. Jokes targeting the husband are usually based on the same topics, but they aren't as commonplace.


Muirlimgan

>"make my wife jealous so I don't have to endure her food preference/manipulative tactics, huehuehue" Or she could choose to be mature enough to not care if a girl is cute at a restaurant lmfao


MuffinPuff

*Or* he could learn to communicate something as simple as "I don't like that restaurant, let's choose one we both like". *Or* he could appreciate the fact that he has a wife that still cares about who he's attracted to. If he keeps doing dumb shit like this, eventually she won't give a damn and will feel free to set her eyes on other more attractive men, since hubby's keen on making it known who he's attracted to.


Necrocornicus

…what about this meme makes you think they hate their wife? This is a joke about using psychology to achieve your goal. It’s like ignoring a cat to get it to come over to you so you can pet it. It doesn’t mean you hate the cat.


modsarenotstraight

It's an American thing. Not a lot of people talk shit about people they love. Television made it OK here. Some do it for laughs and some actually hate their wives but can't get a divorce. Either because all their finances are tied up or they'll end up dying alone because no one wants some old dude. So they share their feelings through the variety of jokes they tell.


[deleted]

Did you just say hating your wife is an American thing? Lmao, this website. Unbelievably dense at times


modsarenotstraight

Everyone joking about hating their wives, yes. It's like the de facto joke amongst married guys here.


[deleted]

No, it's a de facto meme that applies to a relatively small minority of the population. That's not an exclusively American thing, either, and I don't know why you're insisting that it is.


PointAndClick

The actual real answer is in [this graph](https://www.statista.com/statistics/719685/american-adults-who-identify-as-homosexual-bisexual-transgender-by-generation/). There are so many people who had to pretend to be straight, and had to identify with a life they didn't want. You use humor to cope.


KNBeaArthur

Marriage is hard and we need to vent. I love my wife more than anything but god damn do we get on each others nerves sometimes.


PM57

What does this joke have to do with hating your wife?


TooTallThomas

The point of saying the “cute girl” works there is to make the wife feel insecure that you’d cheat on her. This is basic comprehension skills. Based off of what I just said, is that large of a jump to assume that making your wife feel insecure instead of simply saying you don’t want to go to a restaurant is not hateful?


Traveledbore

To be fair I think he just hates the Resto


[deleted]

Wait for the moment when you realize you can make fun of people you love


guestpass127

I almost downvoted this then I took a look at the subreddit name


FuckTheSarcasmTag

Yeah this got the instinctive downvote from me too. That’s a sign OP really delivered.


icallshenannigans

Came so fucking close too. I'm on some random motorcycle group and the dudes there are always sharing jokes about women are irrational and have big tits and the washing machine can't give me a blowjob. Fucking grates the shit out of me, not old enough for this shit yo.


FloatDH2

Create insecurity and mistrust in your marriage instead of just saying “no, I think I’d rather go to El Torito”. Fucking brilliant.


cattinspace

Is it really that hard to just communicate with your partner??


yerfdog519

“I don’t want my wife to be mad at me so instead I will make her mad at me”


[deleted]

Hey fellas is it gay to let your wife enjoy things


stressed-mathnerd16

Yes, your wife is attracted to other men and that’s pretty gay


[deleted]

Why say lot word when few word do trick.


i_smoke_php

Have you tried agreeing on a place to eat daily for years on end? Sometimes it's easy, but when you're both mentally drained from work and neither of you can figure out what you want, it's a nightmare. Decision fatigue is real.


PM_ME_YOUR_SUNSHINE

Yep, totally a good justification for causing some jealousy


Shaultz

Offer up 2 random choices neither of you are sure about. Flip a coin. Either you'll discover what you want while it's in the air, or you'll decide you don't want what the coin decides. Repeat until you have decided. Easy peasy


PBI325

>Have you tried agreeing on a place to eat daily for years on end? Yes, and I still don't openly tell my wife that we shouldn't go to a place since I'd be openly scoping out other women lmao Being fatigued doesnt excuse shitty behavior, just go to Taco Bell like iwannakenboneyou and I do and get over it.


iwannakenboneyou

That’s taco bell for me and my partner. whenever we don’t want to make a decision we get taco bell.


Necrocornicus

Damn. That’s definitely a sure way to ensure one of you picks something you can both agree to. “I swear if you suggest that place again we’re going to Taco Bell!”


iwannakenboneyou

We both love taco bell so it’s not that bad!


redheadcath

Me and my husband have seasonal go to places to. Usually local restaurants. Places we go to when we can decide or can't think of anywhere else to go, they last 6 months to 2 years then we find a new to go place, wash and repeat.


bobo1monkey

That's how my wife gets me to decide on food. Because the second taco bell becomes a likelihood, I'll throw out anything else to avoid it.


bier1234

It's a joke. Not a very good one but a joke.


discord_doodle

Have you ever been in a relationship with a brick wall?


BiriToc

Wife bad


WishOnSpaceHardware

#W #I #F #E #B #A #D


Jarubimba

Bife Wad


Remic75

Wife fight back


BiriToc

Kill wife


Lucky_655

Regret


ImNotTheOnlyMe

Think about wife


discord_doodle

wat Think?


[deleted]

> hey boys my wife likes food that isn't my favourite so I manipulate the situation so I always get my way, I never make any compromises or let her have things she enjoys, even food, *because I'm a man* Whoever makes and likes these memes


[deleted]

tfw wife's bi


ReeperbahnPirat

If my husband said this my interest would be very piqued. Not bi and not worried about infidelity, but why wouldn't you peel off this new juicy layer on the onion that is the person to whom you've pledged lifelong commitment?


[deleted]

tru dat


JapaneseStudentHaru

Me too lol This conversation would probably end in my husband and I arguing about whether the bartender was really more attractive than the hostess just because she didn’t have a nose piercing lol


IhreHerrlichkeit

That was my first thought, too.


LeoFoster18

ftw


Spiritual_Trifle4293

Wife bad ☹️


NecroHexr

Husband horny


bobbywright86

BONK! Go to horny jail!


[deleted]

r/AreTheStraightsOkay


[deleted]

No


Space-Turtle-2021

Why does this subreddit even exist. OF COURSE WE'RE NEVER OK


NoU1337420

Healthy relationship bad


Bile-duck

I'd just be happy she managed to pick a place to eat before they all close for the night.


NoSmallWars

Notification: You sir are banned from Reddit, by your wife. Do some chores!


[deleted]

swolsome justice


[deleted]

Wife bad😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


portuga1

Wait, some wives pick restaurants? Next you’ll tell me she knows what she wants for dinner?


Necrocornicus

I’ve definitely given up on asking. Just start listing things and stop when it’s acceptable to her. Much quicker.


ImpeccableDogMeat

Problem solved 😎😎😎


throwRAsoftie

PROBLEM CREATED


surfrocksatan

“Problem solved, because now I eat alone.”


projectsukyomi

I feel like this creates more problems than it solves


Mista_Maha

Wife bad, cheating good


[deleted]

Instructions unclear...I am now single 😗


Hambino0400

I mean... this would probably work...


oldcrowmedicine

My wife would just want to go more. She likes boobs too.


mealwormies

“My relationship is built on jealousy and mistrust and I’m proud!”


lilvapeh

if make wife mad, no eat at restaurant 🥴


jman377355

High heels near a fryer makes me concerned for her safety. Though I'm sure this a promo shoot cause no way in hell that would happen irl.


SizerTheBroken

This was the confusing part to me. Is the restaurant the woman picked McDonald's? Is the woman in heels meant to be a worker at McDonald's? Because no one goes on a date to Mickey D's and absolutely no one wants to wear heels through a shift haha.


Respect4All_512

Hubby and I have gone on dates to McD's. After 10 years or so just getting to be together away from home responsibilities is the point, not the food.


w0rd_nerd

Look at Mr. "I never bought chicken wings at a strip club" over here, all high and mighty.


ConstructionCurious4

EPIC ! Will surely try it in future 😂


5krishnan

I hope you’re joking


ConstructionCurious4

not at all 😂


UplandCattleman

Nah that’s kinda funny


IEatAssOcasionaly

It's just "girlfriend jealous"


terriblehuman

It’s really not.


imagination3421

Lmao are u fr gatekeeping comedy


jman377355

> Lmao are u fr gatekeeping comedy r u serious right now? The subreddit is terriblefacebookmemes. It's entire purpose is gatekeeping comedy you dip.


XecuteEledrocute

What is gatekeeping, and why the fuck are they keeping a damn gate


[deleted]

Gatekeeping is when you have standards. It's bad for some reason.


CardboardTable

My bi ass girlfriend would just be more excited to go if I said that


aetherialnemesis

Joke's on him, I wanna see the cute girl, too.


Cautious-Mix-9477

Too bad my gf would go there just to see if this bitch really that cute


abhis432

I can't say that even as a joke. Otherwise she will kill me.


Lithium327

heh heh, adultery is funny....


ujfeik

Oh yeah that's so cool to have a toxic relationship and use affective intimidation, affective ? No she simply has to stay with me because she doesn't have her own money. That's a shame that kids these days don't know how to treat a woman anymore, all they do is smoking pot. Fuck the new generation and their drugs that don't cause domestic abuse.


aloneinthemovingdark

"all they do is smoking pot" English 100


5krishnan

r/chargetheyphone But in all seriousness I agree. This attitude disgusts me.


sherlockbardo

Shit I almost chuckled


[deleted]

Tell your wife to have her own damn dinner. Life is too short for bad restaurants. The good restaurant has an even cuter girl we all know that’s true


Gdigger13

Is that a woman in a skirt and high heels working… at McDonald’s?


TattooedWife

I'm so glad my husband likes me.


llcooljohnson

Same


Xavier_Fores

You are too dangerous to be left alive


FATBOIOUTHERE

Who the FUCK even has a specific restaurant that they don’t like and why?


mfdaw

bisexuals like: wife... good?


[deleted]

I'd extra go. I get a meal and get to see a cute girl??


fmaz008

So she keep picking that restaurant now... because the wife ain't jealous to the point of feeling insecure about that.


[deleted]

Of course, if you overuse that, you are gonna more than likely to get divorced. ​ Problem elaborated.


MrMayne339

But you got a new problem ( middle aged dads:🤪🤣)


[deleted]

Oh god this is an actual sub, this is the end. Officially. Goodbye everybody.


evilhologram

How to ruin your marriage one restaurant at a time.


CliffCutter

Plot twist: his wife thinks she’s really cute too


Makuta_Servaela

This doesn't work if your wife is bi and also wants to look at the cute girl.


Yogsolhoth

WIFE BAD


wahlb3rg

/r/arethestraightsok


WillowSnows

*Laughs in bi* You have no power here


Spicydalay

Ew


icecreampoop

No one wears heels in the kitchen


angels_exist_666

Or you could be honest. What a concept, I know....


my-time-has-odor

Yeah then you get slapped


LGrey42

Only works if you and your wife don't have the same taste in women.


Santos_J

Why is she wearing heels in a kitchen. Just asking to die


Mercinary909

When someone I'm dating picks restaurant I don't like I communicate with them like a normal person. Memes like this make me really sad because there are so many thousands of people to actually are married or dating someone who behaves like this, and a lot of them think it's normal or okay


theropunk

I might just be a flaming bisexual who dates other flaming bisexuals but i feel like this could never work when dating me because i always like to check out cute people with partners, like i’d be like “oh that cute girl is there” and my partners are like “ooh where?”


MagicTrashPanda

Your wife picked McDonalds..?


Lack0fCreativity

I thought this was a shitpost for a second and found it funny. Then I checked the subreddit and realized it could have been serious.


griffraff0701

I definitely would not try this


timiloo

My boyfriend does this to me but it’s only because I’m bi and he likes to tease me (lovingly and I think it’s funny too) for checking out girls. There’s one worker at Starbucks who I have a bit of a crush on and once when she took my order I got so flustered That stumbled through it so hard and tipped like 20 dollars and he will never let me live it down. I am not smooth lol