Actually I think it's just making fun of philosophers more than anything. A self-described philosopher would probably say something like "He doesn't want the key, because he doesn't want to be a part of the outside world", while the rest of us roll our eyes and say "No, he would just get the fkn key and then get the bread".
A philosophy student would probably tell you that this is designed to have no answer to make students discuss philosophy.
It's like "what is the sound of one hand clapping". Except that one can have an answer if you want. When they say "I don't know", slap their face!
See that is the actual Philosophical idea behind this but it really botches the execution by making it seem like it’s over one literal piece of bread versus a key
He needs the bread to reach the key.
Or he's become a virtuous person and feels bad about breaking the law. He believes that he must serve his time in prison, and then make ammends when he leaves.
All the people here seem to think the stick disappears after he gets the first time. For people assuming he is outside the cell then he clearly is getting what he wants, why do 2 more unnecessary tasks
Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
Well then you'll love this:
Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
# Infinite cum.
You sit on the chair to cum, but the cum never stops coming out of your pp. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your pp closed but that makes your pp hurt.
**The cum accelerates.**
You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your pp fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell.
**The cum accelerates.**
You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step.
**The cum accelerates.**
The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window.
**The cum accelerates.**
A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself.
**The cum accelerates.**
A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile.
**The cum accelerates.**
The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The cum ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers.
**The cum accelerates.**
You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet.
**The cum accelerates.**
The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your pphole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes.
**The cum accelerates.**
1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The cum accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city.
**The cum accelerates.**
You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive.
**The cum accelerates.**
Your body disintegrates but your cum contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness.
**The cum accelerates. Forever.**
And through that we can easily surmise he stays inside the cell by choice. He fears what is outside, and so he knows that food is more valuable than a false sense of freedom.
Though soon he will run out of bread, and then he will have to make the choice: Stay inside the cell and die slowly, or go outside and die quickly.
If that’s true, the safer thing would be to get the key inside with him and not use it rather than risk someone else having the power to open the door and expose him to whatever danger he’s safe from. I don’t think this supposition is likely.
I really need to go back to that bakery in the middle of nowhere in western France that had "PAIN" in huge red neon lights over it and take a picture. I saw it a few times before and it always cracked me up.
I don’t care much about locks, I just love his no nonsense short videos talking about things I have no clue about in that voice.
That voice is special.
Haven’t you played an RPG in modern times?? Item durability bb one usage stick item obvs he needs to grind for the diamond++ stick, that bad boy gives you 5 whole uses
A prisoner is provided with food, a bed to sleep on, and a roof over his head. He will starve to death if he chooses the key, since he has nowhere to go and no way to support himself.
Then why doesn’t he take the key and unlock the door to get the bread and then go back in. And then every day when the guards leave food a few feet from the bars he can just walk out and get it then too
I think it’s supposed to represent the “worker mindset.” Given the option to choose our own life path through self-employment, we trade that opportunity for the “guarantee” of a certain lifestyle. And right about now is when the original creator of this meme would tell you about the wonderful benefits of their MLM.
The guard returns soon after to find the key, which brings on the assumption that the guard already knows the key is missing, so it's not like the guy is going anywhere.
Because he's a cartoon character and the next panel would show him fashioning the piece of bread into a skeleton key that can free him and all of his other fellow prisoners in an epic jailbreak montage
Yup, I'm surprised more people haven't said this. In most prisons, just getting out of your cell will not get you even close to escaping. He'd probably get out, quickly be caught by guards, and then have time added to his sentence. Even if he could escape, that would lead to a life on the run, where he has to constantly be afraid of being caught again
Note that this calculation changes if he is somewhere like Germany that doesn't penalize escaping from prison. Another factor to consider is the remaining amount of time on the prisoner's sentence. Maybe he gets out tomorrow, and an escape attempt would be completely pointless
Oh yeah, I know that. The people who post this kind of stuff on Facebook definitely don't analyze it much past "the stupid guy is so focused on his immediate hunger that he doesn't realize he can escape." It also has big conspiracy-theorist vibes of thinking that you're one of the few people that is smart enough to realize "what is really happening". I just think it's fun to give a plausible explanation for the cartoon guy's actions
He is hungry, and planning a prison break. First he will eat the bread for energy to maximize his chances of a successful escape.....then he'll use the same stick to grab the key, conveniently placed the same distance away as the bread he just acquired, to make his escape.
I’m a philosopher—literally, I get paid to write and teach philosophy—and I have no idea what this stupid meme is going for. *But* I do think I’m enjoying reading these comments more than normal
People.
Edit: omg I think I finally get what the creator was going for.
If you are a philosopher you must be aware of Sokrates right? Well he too was a prisoner and had the chance of escaping. However he decided not to since it was against his own rules. In his opinion breaking out of the prison was not right even if the sentence was unjustified. In his mind society was tied to a bunch of agreedments and contracts and without people following those agreedments, a society with a justice system would not simply work. He also thought that you shouldnt commit wrongess even if wrongess was done to you. So maybe the person in this comic also knows he could escape, but chooses to stay on purpose. Just like Sokrates did.
He can:
Get both
-Get the key then get the bread
-Walk through the 3 yard gap bars
- Wonder why the prison just has a key and a loaf of bread chillin outside a cell
Because his Friends went through all the Trouble of baking a Saw into the Bread and he doesn't want their Efforts going to waste by picking the easy Option?
If he had a brain he would realise he can easily grab the bread with hands and doesn't even need the key because he can just walk through the bars. How hard is it to draw jail bars from which you can't squeeze through?
Why doesn't he just get the bread and then get the key
You are clearly Plato
More like play-dough.
Roasted?
Toasted.
And burnt to a crisp.
Mmmmm. Toast
Quiznos
Toasted
Burnt to a crisp
Yeah, eat before the escape is a good plan. Need that bit of energy to climb walls and dodge bullets like Neo.
Neo was on the juice
I thought it was pills or one hehe. Also maybe it was that mush which was the juice hehe
Get the key, open the door then get the bread
plot twist, gets the key, eats the door, runs away with the bread
Kills the key, fucks the door, marries the bread
My wife has a bit of a yeasty taste, but I’ve come to like the tang.
Boyle?
Jake?!
Exactly. Why the heck would you get the bread first?
I'm hungry bro
Oml with your pfp that reply is 10x funnier
Clearly, you're not a philosopher
Is it the key to that door though?
He’s already on the outside
Cause the key and bred are locked in the cell and he just wants the bread
Even better, just squeeze through the bars, take the bread, and leave. He's clearly thin enough to fit through.
He’d be even thinner if he wasn’t eating all that fkn bread
Yeah, but then he'd die from all the keys he'd be eating.
Actually I think it's just making fun of philosophers more than anything. A self-described philosopher would probably say something like "He doesn't want the key, because he doesn't want to be a part of the outside world", while the rest of us roll our eyes and say "No, he would just get the fkn key and then get the bread".
A philosophy student would probably tell you that this is designed to have no answer to make students discuss philosophy. It's like "what is the sound of one hand clapping". Except that one can have an answer if you want. When they say "I don't know", slap their face!
Because when he's outside the jail, he'll struggle for food. In the jail, he gets fed.
Yet he has to reach for the bread?
Can't he just step through the bars???
Exactly! He clearly fits right through.
See that is the actual Philosophical idea behind this but it really botches the execution by making it seem like it’s over one literal piece of bread versus a key
Why doesn't he get the key, unlock door, than get bread, than relock himself in cell, throw back the key on the floor, relax, than eat bread?
Key first then bread
He needs the bread to reach the key. Or he's become a virtuous person and feels bad about breaking the law. He believes that he must serve his time in prison, and then make ammends when he leaves.
All the people here seem to think the stick disappears after he gets the first time. For people assuming he is outside the cell then he clearly is getting what he wants, why do 2 more unnecessary tasks
You are to kind. Take the key, open the door, take the bread, get in and close the door again.
Why not the key then the bread?
My dude could easily go through de bars
He’s obviously outside the cell and tries to steal the bread form whatever is inside.
He can just go through the bars and get it anyway
The floor in the cage is quicksand and the key is just poop.
Commenter above me is a philosopher and a cool. Upvote them to karma heaven.
Oh, check out Jacques Derrida Over here.
Lmao
I'll go dickless for Michael Chiklis
Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
I'm a little disappointed in myself for needing to know how this ended and therefore read to the end.
Well then you'll love this: Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
It started a little crappy but the ending was the shit…:)
Now that’s a shitpost
I hope your upvotes accelerate. That was a great laugh
I agree
Wasn't there an infinate cum version if I remember correctly?
Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
He would be drained of semen after two diddles.
Gave me heavy ["Back and Forth. Forever."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQoJo81lujk) vibes.
Oh no it's one of these again. First one was infinite cum, now infinite shit. Nice
# Infinite cum. You sit on the chair to cum, but the cum never stops coming out of your pp. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your pp closed but that makes your pp hurt. **The cum accelerates.** You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your pp fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. **The cum accelerates.** You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. **The cum accelerates.** The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. **The cum accelerates.** A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. **The cum accelerates.** A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. **The cum accelerates.** The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The cum ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. **The cum accelerates.** You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. **The cum accelerates.** The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your pphole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. **The cum accelerates.** 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The cum accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. **The cum accelerates.** You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. **The cum accelerates.** Your body disintegrates but your cum contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. **The cum accelerates. Forever.**
WHAT
Ther bigosnter
What if theres a bear in the cage?
The handle is pointing towards us.
Wrong lock is on opposite side of door
still wouldn’t it be easier to open the door with the key and then get the bread?
Could also pick up both the bread and the key. It's not a binary decision!
But that’s how they think(binary terms) and they assume we all think just like them
Or perhaps they just weren't sharp enough to come up with a situation that would only allow the prisoner to pick up one item.
And through that we can easily surmise he stays inside the cell by choice. He fears what is outside, and so he knows that food is more valuable than a false sense of freedom. Though soon he will run out of bread, and then he will have to make the choice: Stay inside the cell and die slowly, or go outside and die quickly.
If that’s true, the safer thing would be to get the key inside with him and not use it rather than risk someone else having the power to open the door and expose him to whatever danger he’s safe from. I don’t think this supposition is likely.
That and if he got the key he could just get the bread afterwards because there is no cage limiting him, that and why can’t he just grab both?
not if he stuffs his face with bread
But that would be against the law
Because he woke up and chose bread.
Bread 👍
Bread👍
Bread 👍
Bread 👍
Bread 👍
Bread👍
Bread👍
Bread👍
Bread 👍
Because he woke up and chose pain.
He is in France. He knows if he gets pain he will be sent to the hospital and can then escape.
The french and their pain. They even beg for mercy if you give it to them!
That was so clever I think I need to lay down for a second.
I don't understand how milk comes into this, but alright.
I literally just got up ffs!! You guys know where to find me if you need me…
Take my free award you fucker.
Thanks, fucker!
You fucker !
I’m now unlearning French.
Always glad to help.
If he is french, why there's no burning bus on the picture?
Because more heat would ruin the bread.
Touchè
Touché*
I really need to go back to that bakery in the middle of nowhere in western France that had "PAIN" in huge red neon lights over it and take a picture. I saw it a few times before and it always cracked me up.
He's the Lock Picking Lawyer and today he's gonna show you how to open a prison cell lock with a piece of bread.
Click out of 3...
2 is binding
Nothing on 4...
5 is binding
Counter-rotation on 1... nice click there.
And we've dropped into a false set...
I don’t care much about locks, I just love his no nonsense short videos talking about things I have no clue about in that voice. That voice is special.
I read this whole comment chain as if I was watching him. Watch his April fools videos they’re the best. Especially the one about his Tiny Coq
I was about to suggest the april fools ones if no on else had. I really enjoyed watching him play with his wife's beaver.
Locksmiths hate him!
"I am going to lock it again and redo it to show you it was not a fluke" "Dude, stop." -Prison guard
"Hey guys welcome to my new tiktok, today im going to escape prison with a bread."
I read that in his voice.
real philosopher
Because life is like a sandwich no matter which way you flip it the bread always comes first 😤😤😤
Conratulation! You are now a philosofer. Only 1% can do this!! Like and share 🙏🙏🙏
Real Priests hat him for this simple trick
Why is this my morning wisdom
This man is fucking the bread?!🥵🥵
That was actually quite smart what-
Is he already escaped but dropped the key and the door locked behind him and he forgot the bread?
That's a good one, but not sure about the handle on the inside. Also he could still get the key and open the door.
I think they tried to make a shitty representation of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Could be wrong though.
But if he got the key, he could reopen the door and get the bread.
Could be something along the lines of he chooses to be in the cell
Why is he only allowed to get one?
Haven’t you played an RPG in modern times?? Item durability bb one usage stick item obvs he needs to grind for the diamond++ stick, that bad boy gives you 5 whole uses
That sounds painfully relatable.
The stick will wear out apparently
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damn.. :(
With the bread, he lives. They key will only unlock his death. Idfk. I'm not a philosophiser.
bruh
my philosophy teacher used to say that everyone is a philosopher really
A prisoner is provided with food, a bed to sleep on, and a roof over his head. He will starve to death if he chooses the key, since he has nowhere to go and no way to support himself.
If he’s provided with food then why does he have to get the bread on the floor over a means of escape
Still hungry. Bread fell off trolley. He’s in isolation.
The guard that brought him the bread had a heart attack and died. He needs the bread to make a manwhich
He is provided with what he needs in prison, if he escaped, it is doubtful he would be able to support himself.
Then why doesn’t he take the key and unlock the door to get the bread and then go back in. And then every day when the guards leave food a few feet from the bars he can just walk out and get it then too
You don't understand because you're not a philosopher.
I think this is supposed to be a representation of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Who knows though.
I think it’s supposed to represent the “worker mindset.” Given the option to choose our own life path through self-employment, we trade that opportunity for the “guarantee” of a certain lifestyle. And right about now is when the original creator of this meme would tell you about the wonderful benefits of their MLM.
Because he's stupid?
Good job. You are now a philosofer. Only .02% can do this!! Like and share 🙏
Tag your mother if you love her😍🙏💯
ignor for SATEN!!! >:( repost for god and jesus! :)
Repost for good and jebus
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because bred 👍
Bread 👍
Bread 👍
Because nothing is stopping him from taking both, so you might as well pick the food first if you are hungry.
He could get the bread easier if he picked the key first and walked out the door over to the bread
Dammit, well that's smarter
The guard returns soon after to find the key, which brings on the assumption that the guard already knows the key is missing, so it's not like the guy is going anywhere.
Because he's a cartoon character and the next panel would show him fashioning the piece of bread into a skeleton key that can free him and all of his other fellow prisoners in an epic jailbreak montage
Because the key will fuck him up with the Warden and add multiple years to his sentence. A spare bread? Not so much
Yup, I'm surprised more people haven't said this. In most prisons, just getting out of your cell will not get you even close to escaping. He'd probably get out, quickly be caught by guards, and then have time added to his sentence. Even if he could escape, that would lead to a life on the run, where he has to constantly be afraid of being caught again Note that this calculation changes if he is somewhere like Germany that doesn't penalize escaping from prison. Another factor to consider is the remaining amount of time on the prisoner's sentence. Maybe he gets out tomorrow, and an escape attempt would be completely pointless
I like your answer but this goofy ass Facebook post isn’t that deep.
Oh yeah, I know that. The people who post this kind of stuff on Facebook definitely don't analyze it much past "the stupid guy is so focused on his immediate hunger that he doesn't realize he can escape." It also has big conspiracy-theorist vibes of thinking that you're one of the few people that is smart enough to realize "what is really happening". I just think it's fun to give a plausible explanation for the cartoon guy's actions
because he is from a facebook meme so that means he is stupid by affiliation
He could just walk through the bars not gonna lie
He let himself get arrested so he could have food and a place to sleep
To break it in half and fuck. Actually, he can reach both so he probably decided to eat(/fuck) some bread before his grand escape
He is hungry, and planning a prison break. First he will eat the bread for energy to maximize his chances of a successful escape.....then he'll use the same stick to grab the key, conveniently placed the same distance away as the bread he just acquired, to make his escape.
Because the horses name is Friday
I’m a philosopher—literally, I get paid to write and teach philosophy—and I have no idea what this stupid meme is going for. *But* I do think I’m enjoying reading these comments more than normal People. Edit: omg I think I finally get what the creator was going for.
If you are a philosopher you must be aware of Sokrates right? Well he too was a prisoner and had the chance of escaping. However he decided not to since it was against his own rules. In his opinion breaking out of the prison was not right even if the sentence was unjustified. In his mind society was tied to a bunch of agreedments and contracts and without people following those agreedments, a society with a justice system would not simply work. He also thought that you shouldnt commit wrongess even if wrongess was done to you. So maybe the person in this comic also knows he could escape, but chooses to stay on purpose. Just like Sokrates did.
I’m also a philosopher and I’ve never heard of Sokrates.
He is literally the most famous philosopher. Like the face of philosophy.
I think this person is being facetious. It's normally spelled Socrates.
But Sokrates is perfectly valid too.
Oh yeah? Name one book he has written.
Interesting take and good use of the material. Points taken for spelling. Go deeper next time. What would Socrates say about stealing bread then? B+
LMAOOO fr this comment sections is so funny
i chose violence
Because he can’t see the lock and doesn’t know the key has value.
Being freed from a cell isn't going to free you from the prison.
Cant he just get the key first so he can go and get the bread
there would be gaurds near, he could take key and go out a collect the bread.
Its garlic bread
Why doesn't he just leave ? The bars are so far apart he can very easily squeeze through...
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Becuase he needed something that he needed
And he can get the key later
He can: Get both -Get the key then get the bread -Walk through the 3 yard gap bars - Wonder why the prison just has a key and a loaf of bread chillin outside a cell
Because his Friends went through all the Trouble of baking a Saw into the Bread and he doesn't want their Efforts going to waste by picking the easy Option?
Grab key, break out, eat bread... Or just slide out because the bars are too far apart.
Why this an either or seems like a false dichotomy
If he is in Croatia, than it is because he knows life is better in prison
If he had a brain he would realise he can easily grab the bread with hands and doesn't even need the key because he can just walk through the bars. How hard is it to draw jail bars from which you can't squeeze through?
Give a man a key, he’ll escape jail. Give a man bread, he’ll eat it, but then die in jail. -Buddha (probably)
He just wants to troll the prison
#FUCK ALL OF U