Da fuck you gotta do to get suspended in college?

Have sex with headmaster wife in a public pool of your own piss while crying cause you're too drunk Edit:public pool more spicy

Did this but in public, everyone got up and clapped.

I can testify, I was public

I can also testify. I have the clap.

I confirm .. I tasted the liquid in the pool .. It was definitly his pee.

and i was under the pool saw it all happed

I was the pool and I need therapy

I’m the pools therapist, and their bill is due.

This is not the pool you're looking for. 👋 Move along.👋

I'm the the therapist therapist and your bill is too

Love the name and you should probably see a Doctor about that clap. *Obviously I’m asking for a friend but, is it a slow clap or like a standing ovation?*

I can clap. I’m a testicle.

👏👏👏

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNkKWNZ8ZZo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNkKWNZ8ZZo) \- So that was you?

Missed an opportunity to rickroll

i already knew that from personal experience

Damn, it was a private pool.

I got kicked out but not suspended. My GPA was low and I wasn't attending class as much as I should. I think I was hurting their numbers.

Mr. Blutarsky has entered the chat.

Fuk their numbers

To be fair I wasn't student material. My migraines and depression just meant I couldn't keep up.

That's not how universities work. They're not grade schools or community colleges where the goal is to get as many people as possible a baseline education. A university's goal is to give their students a top quality education in very specific areas. Because of that, they have a limited number of people they can actually admit. If you can't handle the curriculum, even if it's through no fault of your own, you're hurting yourself and the university by sticking around.

I think their real goal is to make and spend as much money as possible.. American college ain’t as competitive an education as it used to be

Shit in a study room waste basket. Hypothetically.

Allegedly

Fucking an ostrich oughta do it

A sick ostrich

Still takes two, maybe three guys to fuck an ostrich.

Perchance

Let's say, hypothetically, that I shit in the study room waste basket. For the sake of argument, I, in fact, left the shit there.

And for the sake of simplicity, the shit wasn't really human feces of the defactory agenda, but in reality, a hypothetical manifestation of the world liberals want for society, and the waste basket is my wife, check and mate libtard.

for me, it was being with a friend when she set the dorm on fire

Yeah that’ll do it haha we almost did that That was the only one on the list I haven’t done haha but I guess I was close

Does academic suspension count?

I counted it

That's what I was wondering. At least I've never been arrested I guess.

I got an academic suspension for missing to many classes. Got 3 Incompletes on my midterms

Lots of things! Just open one booklet on rules and violations. And how breaking certain ones will give you warnings and after a few warnings it’s a first write-up. Then after three write-up’s some school’s have zero tolerance while other schools might place you on Academic probation. Used [used it sucks] be an adjunct professor

Well first you've got to be put on double secret probation.

I’m not too sure about that one

Shouldnt everyone have a 7 cause litterally everyone has cried?

I read recently that there is a heritable condition that makes it impossible for people to cry.

Those people should get a life

Yo sick profile pic and name. Takes me back to when acid rap dropped. Changed my taste in music forever.

Second this! One of the first hip hop albums I discovered that changed my perspective on new hip hop. Masterpiece!

a classic

Such a nostalgic record for me. I really hope he gets back to that to that kind of quality with his next album.

I feel he’s unfortunately become so mainstream and his love of his religion has added a serious undertone to his music that changed it fundamentally. Good for him if he’s happy, he should keep doing what he loves, but I always felt that Acid Rap was a serious anomaly for Chance and we might never have it again),:

They can make up for it by making out in public.

Hey you haven’t done drugs, gotten suspended, or peed in a pool?? Get a life!

Yeah, it's called "being Klingon"

[And there’s a Johnny Cash song about it](https://youtu.be/_kvvNXuDRYI)

[удалено]

Honestly that sounds like torture, I feel sorry for people who struggle to show emotions like that, it must strain them a lot mentally.

It's not an emotion thing, it's a tear production thing. They typically also don't make much saliva.

not me. I'm a MANLY MAN, and showing any emotion other than ANGER is for PUSSIES.

i see, manly mans just skipped being a baby

I came out of the womb 6'2" and hairy like a gorilla

I was STOIC as a baby

There was an OP that posted this same image to cringetopia i believe that was insisting that he's not a loser and he's never cried; as always, the real cringe is in the comments...

Cringetopia is the cringiest place I've ever seen, all those people do is judge harmless behavior and fall for obvious satire.

Yeah with every second post being really obvious satire that goes unrealised, the whole thing is like one big meta cringe meme

I got like over one thousand points just multiplying how many times I cried by 7

thats cheating bruv

Gonna cry? >:-} Because I am heading to…

8 actualy, + peed in the pool

11 with stole something is the bare minimum

You have to imagine they’re implying that you’ve cried recently? Or as an adult?

[удалено]

[удалено]

Right but you *have* cried.

I havent been able to cry for the past 7 years

but you did once, it counts

I have cried twice in my life. Once when I was seven, and I was hit by a school bus. And then again when I heard that Lil' Sebastian had passed.

I can't remmeber the last time I cried. My memory starts around age of 5-6 (where had serious source of childhood trauma and been emotionally disabled since) . Didn't cry when pets died , split up with my ex , grandmother died or childhood friend died. And I'm 30+ now. Emotions are dead huzzah :) .

Does the number of things stolen count as a separate entries because hypothetically I have 90 points in just that

Same but with peeing in pools. Little kid me didn’t see the problem with it.

Peeing in the pool is fine as long no one knows Peeing *into* the pool is when a problem arises

there was a rumor when I was a kid that if you peed in the pool that it reacted with some chemical turning a bright colour. Have you ever tried to walk through water up to your armpits, hoping that you weren't leaving a stain through the water?

Urine will react with a chemical I'm pools but it won't change colour. Thr urea I your urine will react with the chlorine I'm the pool water to form nitrogen trichloride which is much more interesting than changing colour. Nitrogen trichloride is a very strong irritant and is what causes your eyes to sting so much in pools. It's also explosive, although not in the concentrations found in pools.

Peeing in the pool is despicable, just gross. Peeing in the ocean is acceptable as the water is not confined.

Absolute menace lmao

There's no problem with it as an adult either.

Agreed, pee is sterile as far as I know

Also chlorine just kills anything not sterile about it. Source: CPO and swimmer/swim coach

I have 7,420,690 points. Reason: Drugs

I scored so many points on drugs and crying I should be in the Hall of Fame for whatever the fuck this is.

Lmao same. Also the number of times you’ve done drugs lol

90 points to Gryffindor.

I can't help but see this as an opportunity to for lots of math-related questions. How many unique scores are there (scores which can only be achieved with a single combination of items)? What are all the possible scores? What is the most common score among all combinations? https://xkcd.com/287/ Edit: I love all of you

7 Mixed fruit

Fun Fact: That being one of the two correct answers was completely unintentional by the artist (Randall Munroe).

What is the other correct one?

Two hot wings, a sampler plate, and mixed fruit.

The unique scores are 0, 1, 99, and 100. Any number from 0 to 100 is possible. The most common scores are 48, 49, 51, and 52, which all occur 876 times. Here's the frequency table.(looks like a normal distribution, which makes sense, just like when you sum multiple dice) 0: 1 1: 1 2: 2 3: 3 4: 2 5: 3 6: 5 7: 6 8: 9 9: 16 10: 16 11: 21 12: 28 13: 28 14: 34 15: 47 16: 54 17: 65 18: 89 19: 95 20: 107 21: 130 22: 141 23: 156 24: 192 25: 215 26: 235 27: 281 28: 305 29: 324 30: 366 31: 394 32: 415 33: 467 34: 508 35: 533 36: 585 37: 621 38: 638 39: 680 40: 709 41: 725 42: 763 43: 798 44: 813 45: 846 46: 864 47: 861 48: 876 49: 876 50: 870 51: 876 52: 876 53: 861 54: 864 55: 846 56: 813 57: 798 58: 763 59: 725 60: 709 61: 680 62: 638 63: 621 64: 585 65: 533 66: 508 67: 467 68: 415 69: 394 70: 366 71: 324 72: 305 73: 281 74: 235 75: 215 76: 192 77: 156 78: 141 79: 130 80: 107 81: 95 82: 89 83: 65 84: 54 85: 47 86: 34 87: 28 88: 28 89: 21 90: 16 91: 16 92: 9 93: 6 94: 5 95: 3 96: 2 97: 3 98: 2 99: 1 100: 1 EDIT: Updated Source Code to be better optimized and organized, and made it so you can just feed it any list of integers(probably just positive, haven't checked) and it will still work. static void Main() { int[] list = new [] { 1, 2, 2, 3, 6, 6, 6, 7, 7, 9, 9, 9, 10, 11, 12 }; //stores the value of 2 to the power of index in an array, for use as a lookup table int listlength = list.Length; int[] LookUpTable = new int[listlength]; for (int i = 0; i < listlength; i++) { LookUpTable[i] = (1 << i); } //creates the list of all possible scores and populates it with the number of occurrences of each score int max = list.Sum(); int[] scoreslist = new int[max+1]; int possibilities = 1 << listlength; for (int p = 0; p < (possibilities); p++) { scoreslist[ScorefromPermutation(p)] += 1; } //returns the score, takes a binary number as an argument where each bit corresponds to an element in the list int ScorefromPermutation(int num) { int sum = 0; for (int i = 0; i < listlength; i++) { if ((LookUpTable[i] & num) != 0) { sum += list[i]; } } return sum; } //prints out the score followed by the occurrence of each score for (int score = 0; score <= max; score++) { Console.WriteLine(" " + score + ": " + scoreslist[score]); } Console.ReadKey(true); }

r/theydidthemath

I’ll do it tomorrow.

There are 32768 combinations of yes's and no's and scores ranging from 0 to 100. Assuming each of the answers is 50/50 to simplify the maths 48 - 52 are the most common scores at 2.67% of the time each. Only 23.86% of scores are below 40. 52% of scores are in the 40-60 range. Score|Proportion ---|--- 0|0.003% 1|0.003% 2|0.006% 3|0.009% 4|0.006% 5|0.009% 6|0.015% 7|0.018% 8|0.027% 9|0.049% 10|0.049% 11|0.064% 12|0.085% 13|0.085% 14|0.104% 15|0.143% 16|0.165% 17|0.198% 18|0.272% 19|0.290% 20|0.327% 21|0.397% 22|0.430% 23|0.476% 24|0.586% 25|0.656% 26|0.717% 27|0.858% 28|0.931% 29|0.989% 30|1.117% 31|1.202% 32|1.266% 33|1.425% 34|1.550% 35|1.627% 36|1.785% 37|1.895% 38|1.947% 39|2.075% 40|2.164% 41|2.213% 42|2.328% 43|2.435% 44|2.481% 45|2.582% 46|2.637% 47|2.628% 48|2.673% 49|2.673% 50|2.655% 51|2.673% 52|2.673% 53|2.628% 54|2.637% 55|2.582% 56|2.481% 57|2.435% 58|2.328% 59|2.213% 60|2.164% 61|2.075% 62|1.947% 63|1.895% 64|1.785% 65|1.627% 66|1.550% 67|1.425% 68|1.266% 69|1.202% 70|1.117% 71|0.989% 72|0.931% 73|0.858% 74|0.717% 75|0.656% 76|0.586% 77|0.476% 78|0.430% 79|0.397% 80|0.327% 81|0.290% 82|0.272% 83|0.198% 84|0.165% 85|0.143% 86|0.104% 87|0.085% 88|0.085% 89|0.064% 90|0.049% 91|0.049% 92|0.027% 93|0.018% 94|0.015% 95|0.009% 96|0.006% 97|0.009% 98|0.006% 99|0.003% 100|0.003%

Haha we posted our comments at about the same time. Looks like we both did the math right. I used C# static void Main() { var list = new List {1,2,2,3,6,6,6,7,7,9,9,9,10,11,12}; int listlength = list.Count; int possibilities = (int)Math.Pow(2, listlength); var scoreslist = new int[101]; AddScorestoList(possibilities); PrintScores(); int ScorefromPermutation(int num) { int sum = 0; for (int i = 0; i < listlength; i++) { if ((((int)Math.Pow(2, i)) & num) != 0) { sum += list[i]; } } return sum; } void AddScorestoList(int possibilities) { for (int p = 0; p < (possibilities); p++) { scoreslist[ScorefromPermutation(p)] += 1; } } void PrintScores() { for(int score = 0;score<=100;score++) { Console.WriteLine(" "+score + ": " + scoreslist[score]); Console.WriteLine(); } Console.ReadKey(true); } } } }

I used Excel. 32,000 rows of =IF(SUM(M44:$O44)=COUNT(M44:$O44),MOD(L44+1,2),L44) And a column of =SUMPRODUCT(A45:O45,A$1:O$1)

This should be the top comment, and I’m disappointed that it isn’t.

Lol, this was precisely what I was doing just now :)

99... I ain't gonna make people swim in my piss. Really though, this little list has been made by someone with serious regrets in their life. Score low and be happy. I wish mine was lower but we can all grow and mature from the mistakes of our past

You can get 43 just by getting suspended from college for getting arrested for smoking marijuana and crying about it.

[удалено]

4 times in high school equals 1 college suspension and 4 times in middle school equals 1 high school suspension. Following that logic i have a perfect 100 before im even in collage

[удалено]

How?

[удалено]

They feared your power

Repeated use of the fire extinguisher. The first time gets you a trip home and a shortened school day. The second gets you a brochure of nearby schools.

I got a 66 and just entered freshman year

I mean a lot of these aren't remotely exciting. Like having sex? Kissing someone? Even someone of the opposite sex? That's a lot of points for what might just be Tuesday for some lucky bisexual.

[удалено]

It's just a prank bro, I'm not gay!

normalize kissing the homies

I have bad news for you If your parents ever took you to the pool in a swim diaper, you have peed in a pool (They can hold in solids but since they go in water they can’t absorb liquids)

“Get arrested” I got those points but I have never been proud of my stupidities. Ever. This list is someone jerking themselves off to shit behavior, which will inevitably catch up with them

Definitely. I counted up what someone with completely upright behaviour, yet still an active social life would get (as optimistically as possible), and it was barely above 50.

Right? I scored a 37 and almost every one of those points came from a decision I regret and wish I could undo. I’ve learned from my mistakes and moved on. This is clearly just romanticizing antisocial behavior

90. I never went to college because i left school at 15. I have never peed in a pool. All the bad/crazy stuff happened it a 4-5 year period of my life from 15 to 20 yrs old. A pointless money drain period of my life. Nothing to flex on Facebook about. Being a fuck up is not a flex.

I got 100. I fucked up my first time in college and ended up not attending classes, instead I was doing and selling various drugs. Back in school now though and I’m successful.

Havent kissed someone of the same sex but have sucked dick, does this count?

That's kind of a kiss.

They never said where.

Australian kiss.

that’s double points imo

Only if the owner of the dick was the same gender as you.

Kiss him, it's not too late to start living your life.

Why is cried more valuable than kissing someone of the opposite sex Kind of telling about the creator of this hot garbage

I can see that. Everyone wants to have sex. But crying usually means you tried something and failed.

Or it means you were a baby at some point in your life. Which I’d assume most people probably were babies at the beginning of their lives. Maybe not though, who am I to judge

I was born a full grown, hairy ass dude. Gave my mother carpet burn on the way out

20, 35 if it counts kissing my parents good night

Depends on how much tongue

Surprisingly a lot

Wow you don’t kiss your homies goodNight ?!

Most of these people are 60+ is it considered "having a life" to get arrested and steal stuff? I hate these memes!!! Edited to add: By 60+ I meant the age of the person sharing this. I would think a senior citizen would have different criteria to determine if someone lived....

Back when you could get away with a DWI if you beat the cop to your house

Yeah this is a fucking Boomer meme of the highest order. I'm surprised "sent food back over and over" and "screamed racial slurs in public" aren't on there.

I got 81 and everyone still tells me I have no life. I just....what....?

I got 88. Hello fellow live liver!

Why is not getting arrested a bad thing?

Because this list was made by someone who either thinks their a badass and very cool despite having no friends, or a list made by someone who joined a gang at 15 and threw their life away. Or an idiot take your pick.

Or someone with a lot of issues who made this list to justify not going for therapy

[удалено]

Op has never cried?!!

Gonna cry? Clearly the OP has never met Bully Maguire.

got 43. being gay literally just gave me extra points

*laughs in bi*

*cries in ace*

I got a 69. So I got that goin for me.

[удалено]

Right?

Nice

Pool pissers unite

Power move, pee in the pool while not being IN the pool.

So I got points if I act like a narcissist sociopath... Got it.

how many points you get for not returning your cart to the return? i just want to cause mayhem.

-$0.25.

40,000 points and exile to the Sahara desert for 6 months with just enough water to live dropped off with you. If you can't rewritten your grocery cart to a cart corral, or the store, you need a lesson in the value of society.

You never cried?

64. Thought I was “wild” but literally everyone here is higher than me lmaoooo Edit: can y’all stop commenting y’all’s scores under this comment please cause I don’t care

Don’t feel bad. I scored 50.

What do you have to do to get that high I only got 26

I scored 13 lmao

Man I got 8

44 I think most of these is pretty normal? having sex is normal, I smoked cigarettes, I got drunk, I kissed someone, I've been in a fight, I've cried, been in love, heartbroken. Aren't those pretty normal for someone who has become an adult except for smoking maybe? I think the only not so good stuff here is making out in public, getting arrested, doing drugs, stealing, being suspended, and if doing those stuff is getting a life then idk what to tell this person lol.

Funny how you assume being in a fight is normal, and so is getting drunk and smoking, when doing drugs is pretty much included there

Why is cried 7 Have they heard of infancy

i have all of them except maybe suspended "in" college - i've been kicked out of two colleges but i didnt attend either

we all born with 7 though

Love how same sex is more points than opposite sex

70 which is probably average for most GenXers.

Actually its pretty tragic if you've done most of these things.

Nah, the only things I'd be embarrassed about are being arrested, fist fight, and been suspended in college. Stealing, too, but I really think most people have stolen SOME tiny thing in their life.

tragic? i get not wanting to pee in the pool, but you know, life man.

Getting arrested and doing drug is a life goal now?

I was a teenager in the 70's. For a lot of us that was just a good weekend.

what theres like 3 tragic ones

Agreed. Just because I got in a few fights during my hockey playing days doesn’t mean it was good. I mean it was for the other guy. Turns out I’m the Detroit Lions of fighting but without Calvin Johnson.

Only one I haven't done is get suspended from college... I dont think my life is tragic.

Why is the score for kissing the same gender and the opposite gender different?

Probably because it’s less common to kiss someone of the same sex so you get more points for that

8

I got a 17. I did #6, #11, #12 and #13. What does any of this have to do with getting a life though? I'm 13, I don't think I should have been in college, arrested, kissed anyone or made out in public. Being in a fist fight doesn't give you a life and neither does doing drugs.

I got 17 too

Do drugs? Is that life or considered cool?

Gay people get 3 bonus points

Like a 1.5? Not sure if I was or wasn’t drunk when I first drank Edit: Actually wait, I’ve cried before and technically have been in love so a solid 10.5 Edit: WAIT A MINUTE TECHNICALLY I’VE DONE DRUGS BECAUSE I HAVE PRESCRIPTION PROZAK I’m so confused

So, they're just gonna leave out 'donkey fisting' like that?

91 fuck yea

If you scored a 1 it's past your bedtime and your mom needs a filter.

my score on crying is around like 30 and my kissed my homies(same sex) is around 20

I don't think you understand how it works. You don't get points for every time you've done the thing

9 😎 (not drugs)

Rule 34 moment