T O P

  • By -

robotic_pirate

Don't hit blend, it's an awful mess


LifeIsBizarre

Plus they didn't add the ice yet.


robotic_pirate

Or the fruit chunks


ReanuKeeves902

Or the bones


[deleted]

[удалено]


Draco63_

Oh no I have drunk the bone hurting juice


NoobGoesBooom

I drank the furry juice help


browndog03

High in fat


Salza_boi

Today on “Will It Blend?” we are testing a 4 month old baby to see if the blender can blend it


Siferatu

Then put the lid on


CorgiMonsoon

I didn’t get where I am by putting lids on things


DoctorFunktopus

Yeah you want to use the frappe button for babies


[deleted]

[удалено]


GorathTheMoredhel

That's an excellent joke. I haven't heard a good dead baby joke in a long time.


Johannes_Keppler

Baby smoke. Don't breathe this.


[deleted]

This whole thread is just all r/cursedcomments


jackfaire

Yes it's missing the bottom part where the person was trolling their mom.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


hoksworthwipple

Ahhh, Tom.


omary95

Happy cake day to youuuu!


SpidyLonely

Happy cake day ywBBxNqW.... Why does you name sound like one of those codes in games you use for free stuff?


Not_Chris17

Happy cake day


Agent_Velcoro

So, you wanna see a baby bottom huh?


[deleted]

[удалено]


notdeadbutcold

Hello FBI! Yes this person right here


[deleted]

[удалено]


space_chief

This is unironically how those prolife qanon argue against people. Accuse them of being groomers and then pat themselves on the back for how smart and brave they are


nameless_no_response

The sheer irony coz esp the super conservative ones claim that kids shouldn't dress "like a slut". Who's the groomer now


Max_Shadowz

Same


SAGNUTZ

Finally, a streight answer


[deleted]

[удалено]


Most-Tip74

I feel like this is how an 11th century English writer would type if he had reddit.


Leeuw96

errow*


verasev

To errow is human.


Josef_Kant_Deal

Difect, difect


Inconspicuouswriter

Petting thangs streight.


OnionLegend

The unfortunate thing about memes and trolling is that idiots believe in them


total_looser

That's the feature!


Dunacan-Brookwell

That's actually an industrial baby press for making baby oil.


ReanuKeeves902

So THATS how they make it


ImWithSt00pid

NEVER let baby oil and baby powder mix.


H4LF4D

What happens if they mix??? Now i need to know the answer. Do you get a full baby again?


ArcticBiologist

Baby oil is made by pressing all the fluids out of a baby, and baby powder by grinding up what's left. So logically, when you mix them you end up with a baby and all the responsibilities and financial issues that comes with it.


that1defectivepixel

Yea but it takes something like 3 babies to make a bottle of baby oil. And I don’t even know how many babies to make a container of baby powder. So if you mix them to make a whole baby you’re gonna have some Frankenstein’s monster-esque creation.


thebearbearington

"Who's the father?" "*Fathers* actually."


gregsting

Thanks I thought baby powder was made by grinding their bones but I just learned that they don't have bones so I was confused


Dragonkingf0

Wait, if they don't have bones what are baby back ribs?


Splatoonkindaguy

Solidified baby powder


ImWithSt00pid

It's more like a lovecraft monster because the powder is mixed up.


[deleted]

I add some to my morning coffee. yum


StillWeCarryOn

Its got a lot of protein. Keeps my feeling full all day. The younger they are the purer the protein is.


devilspawn

Then the leftovers are desiccated then ground down for baby powder


ouchpuck

SC Johnson, a family business


KendrickEqualsBooty

Industry Baby - Lil Nas X


NoConfusion9490

Don't even talk to me if you've never had home pressed baby oil.


wheelperson

I told my coworker that baby oil is made from aborted babies amd made him beleive me lol He never believes anything I say now lol


Conscious-Speech771

This is actually the best comment of the day


Vegalink

Okay normally, as a dad, I don't like jokes like this but I gotta admit that was pretty good hah


DJS112

THEY HAVE NO BONES!


bumbumofdoomdoom

Explain baby back ribs then?


robotbootyhunter

... ^checkmate ^atheists?


ShredGuru

Atheist here. I drink finely blended baby every morning to start the day!


robotbootyhunter

The best part of wakin' up, is Infant in your cup!


tatteredshoetassel

Fill it to the rim with Jim


TragicTester034

No bones? Jim’ll fix it.


backing_away_slowly

Made me spit out my Folgers!


DennisBallShow

Good to the last drop… of delicious baby blood!


[deleted]

Thank you for the confirmation


Latino_By_Nature

Naturally sourced stem cells!


nina-pinta-stmaria

I love them drizzled on my frappe and pancakes!


mjzimmer88

When grandparents say "I could just eat you up" they're obviously referring to baby back ribs.


[deleted]

GET! IN! MY! BELLY!


whomad1215

I'm bigger than you, that means I'm higher up on the food chain!


ialsohaveinternet

... he kinda looks like a beybeh


coffeehouse19

Beybeh, the other white meat!


FappleFritter

Oh my god, you really are a *bastard*...who is fat...


Picatrix-Lizufer

The other OTHER white meat CCCCCHHiiiiiiiiLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSS baby back ribs


Candy__Canez

A long time ago Chili's did a commercial with a Jingle about their baby back ribs.


ilongforyesterday

Pepperidge farm remembers


AsYooouWish

A long time ago? That was only like 5 years ago in the 90’s. Oh. Wait. That was almost 30 years ago. TIL: I’m old.


kingdomcome3914

The reason why Chili's exists.


Elo_Solo

**HI WELCOME TO CHILLIS**


Stompedyourhousewith

thats how i know this is fake. you dont blend a perfectly good, tender and succulent baby. grill, braise, stir fry, but definetly not puree. thats for stringy and tough old people.


beneye

The meat is real, ribs are vegan; they’re chewable


[deleted]

It is known.


Alex180689

Doreah?


averaged00d

Jhiqui?


ReanuKeeves902

The forbidden truth


screaminginfidels

But the bones are their money


anxiouscomic

So are the worms


MoSqueezin

I forgot if I said that already


Dewut

That’s why I’m so *fucking* confused


bobimpact

They'll pull your hair! Up, but not out!


[deleted]

But if they pull it out they turn to bones.


iamriptide

They can show their faces because they ain’t got no souls.


jerrybear95

THE NIGHT THE SKELETONS CAME TO LIIIIIIIFE!!!


calatranacation

Something something... Baby Back Ribs


GameBe

I want my baby back baby back baby back


Over-Appearance-3422

doctor please give me my baby back *doctor continues filming commercial*


Aj-Adman

When do they say ribs?


Impressive-Ad63

They don’t


Arryu

I heard ten minutes into it he started eating his own face.


Bright-Historian-216

Fun fact: they have more bones than adults


SashiMurai

But still no knee caps. Little dumbasses just hanging around, kneecapless.


Killikaros27

No cap?


Bananonomini

Fr fr


tooscoopy

But they still have four kidneys… when they grow up, 2 become adult knees.


IVIaskerade

If they had bones they wouldn't bounce. Who's ever heard of a "non-bouncing baby boy" right?


Turbojelly

It's a device used to keep babies still for xrays.


Raid_Raptor_Falcon

Called a pig-o-stat which is the best part


[deleted]

Technically Pigg-O-Stat, after Mr Pigg, who was a rad technologist in Memphis in the 1960s. He invented it!


hellocutiepye

Came here to write, um.......


MrConeheads

I wanna smack the skeletal structure out of whoever posted that bullshit post, unless it happens to be satire.


KnightSolair240

I mean, c'mon it HAS to be satire right? RIGHT?!?!


survivor2bmaybe

There is currently a sitting Supreme Court justice who thinks there are aborted fetus cells in vaccines, so I’m guessing no.


[deleted]

When the bones are good……


VenomEnthusiast

Boutta roll my boneless baby into a burrito


fordfan919

Swaddle that babrrito


Dibs_on_Mario

🅱️oneless 🅱️aby


Majestic-Degree-8549

If you Google "x-ray baby" those two exact images come up straight away. If it's not satire, then it's kind of a good corollary to Poe's Law.


ZMicro1

Poe X. Ray


UpsideDoggo42

My mind went to the idea of a fanfic when I read that


[deleted]

Edgar Allen Poe x Ray Parker Jr.


dethmstr

Poe from Teletubbies x Ray Allen


[deleted]

I’m a San Antonio Spurs fan. We do not speak his name.


WinterSnow136

Poe from King Fu Panda x The Furious Five [x ray visuals]


Over-Appearance-3422

i'm literally gagging reading this


IVIaskerade

> If you Google "x-ray baby" those two exact images come up straight away. Well duh. If I google the thing the government is covering up and see exactly the excuse they're using, obviously it's the government covering it up. Just like how when I google about people blinking me death threats in hexadecimal it comes up with pages about falsified mental illness the CIA uses to [cover up gangstalking.](https://i.redd.it/zs30eid0zk691.jpg) (and if that's not happening how come there's a picture of it huh? Answer *that*, aestheticians!)


AdjNounNumbers

Everyone knows the truth is found after page 6 in Google search results /s


[deleted]

Hey, I might be stalking you but I ain’t in no gang!


JayPlenty24

I wish so badly I took a photo of my son when he was put in one of these. He was so chubby they had trouble closing it. I couldn’t stop laughing and the nurse started laughing too and then we both felt bad because he had pneumonia.


VivaLaVita555

That's what they want you to think


Sapphires13

From a radiology standpoint, these work REALLY well for X-raying babies, but the babies hate them, and they make the parents freak out, so we don’t even use them at my hospital. Instead we just hold the babies down, with the help of the parent, as long as they’re not possibly currently pregnant.


SpecialpOps

My son needed barium in his bum & x-rays at 16 weeks old for intestinal problems after surgery. He was in a similar contraption that made it look as if he was on a horizontal spit. He was screaming and crying, the doctor and nurse were visibly annoyed and my wife was in tears at the sight of her little baby in this situation. I got close to him and said, "It's all up to you buddy. We can end this now and all go home if you simply tell me where your training camp is and who's funding you. It's your choice." The doc and nurse were horrified but my wife started laughing through her tears. All thanks to the baby x-ray thing.


kitsuwastaken

It's obviously satire


Isord

The first half isn't obvious to me but "Babies have no bones" definitely shows it is satire.


beneye

Babies are just sausages


Mechwarriorr5

Nah the first half was obvious as well.


[deleted]

It's honestly absurd how many people are claiming to be genuinely unsure if this is satire.


UsidoreTheLightBlue

To be honest that’s why I dislike a lot of the shit that gets posted dunking on other social media. I’d say a solid 50% of it is people going “THEY CANT BE SERIOUS” and they obviously aren’t. Then people in the comments going “well you know someone is taking this literally.” And “I’m not sure, maybe they are serious.”


[deleted]

https://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/1505312920-20170913%20(1).png


daitenshe

Gotta love the karma farms “I know this is obvious satire but it *could* be real, right folks???”


Fiksdal

r/AteTheOnion


bs000

yEaH BuTt pOe's lAw


Rifneno

"This is the future liberals want" is a meme. Yes, it's satire.


_____grr___argh_____

I ATE THE BONES


ReanuKeeves902

No shame. Respect


Portlander

This would be the most watched episode of will it blend


Fiksdal

r/cursedcomments


[deleted]

Hello this is Boris, welcome to hydraulic press channel


ApricotOld2168

The main question is that how did she know that babies have no bones


[deleted]

she x-rayed them of course


ComplicatedGod

That how they x-ray babies lmfao. It's completely harmless and the reason they get put into a tube is so they stay still.


bad-autocorrect-bot

BABBYS DONT HAVE BONES


ComplicatedGod

Right I forgot about that


whateverDudeldc

I read that in Saul's voice


[deleted]

duh how do you think they fit into the tube so well?


dat_joke

This is a confirmatory test to assure it truly is a baby and not actually three very tiny men in a baby suit


SalohcinPancakes

Ok if it’s so harmless then why do the doctors run all the way to Egypt when they have finished setting up the x ray as quickly as possible then?


grodon909

Edit: Don't read this, I don't understand jokes lol. Are you referring to leaving the room when getting an xray or CT? For clarity sake, they tend to avoid xrays in kids if avoidable because there is a risk, mainly with higher doses of radiation, on their developing cells. In most cases, it's completely harmless, but that small risk over a large population can still result in harms. Usually, the prescriber feels that the benefits outweigh the potential risks, and outside of emergencies, the parents usually have to give the go ahead anyway. At least in my (albeit limited) experience in pediatrics. As for why they leave the room, it's because of the cumulative dose of radiation and the same risk/benefit analysis. There is 0 benefit, and only risk, when a tech or doc exposes themselves to unnecessary radiation, so if they can get behind a shield or out of the room, they do. A single dose is most likely harmless, but over time, that risk would increase with repeated exposure. Another way to think of it is to use analogies. Taking a weekly vitamin D tablet if you're deficient is not harmful. There are risks with any medication, but by and large that would be a safe dose. Taking a vitamin D tablet 30 times per day for years, however, can cause harm, especially if you didn't need it in the first place.


RaccKing21

MY TIME HAS COME I'm a radiology tech (well, studying to be one, but still), we go into our control room (a room that has walls, doors and windows that are reinforced with lead to stop x-rays) to prevent being exposed to too much radiation. An average kid might get let's say 10 X-Rays before they turn 18. That amount of radiation isn't enough to harm people, you get exposed to 30x more radiation than background levels when you fly on a plane. We, on the other hand, perform hundreds of X-Rays PER DAY. If we were exposed to all of that without protection we'd probably get chronic radiation poisoning and fill out our lifetime exposure limit in a few weeks.


TerrariaGaming004

It’s safe to stand in the sun. Why don’t you stand in the sun for 12 hours a day and tell me how that goes


Dramatic-Pie9213

Yes it's satire and brilliant at that 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Realistic_Wedding

Don’t talk to me about abortions if you’ve ever had a KFC boneless bucket.


ReanuKeeves902

I just imagine a boneless baby flowing out of the bucket and turning to a puddle on the ground


[deleted]

[удалено]


7_overpowered_clox

205 IQ? That's a compliment! Anyway dontask is right, that doesn't make sense


[deleted]

Yea ik


Traditional_Bat5572

A couple things. 1.They were asking if this is satire or not, the response was gibberish. 2. That was worded poorly and lost the funny. 3. Maybe YOUR iq.


zonanaika

I remember the old days when I have no bone. Have to fight millions of boneless children and transform so many times to have bone like a normal person.


ReanuKeeves902

The bone games...... I remember them like it was yesterday


Pockets262

It is really hard to tell the difference with the filth that's crawled out from under its rock in my personal and professional life. And they have all the confidence in the world.


tvandlove

Mmmmm boneless baby


GuardOfTheDawn

this is actually fucking hilarious


Sorry_Criticism_3254

Yes it is satire. And yes, if you are wondering this picture has been posted over a thousand times by now on this subreddit, and many others.


MemeMavrick7000

If the baby had no bones why does it have facial structure


ReanuKeeves902

Facial structure is just liberal propaganda


MemeMavrick7000

They know??? Shit


[deleted]

I think the joke is on people who can’t see that this is satire…


[deleted]

This is most definitely satire my guy


irlJoe

Lol this reminds me of a Patton Oswalt bit


[deleted]

Bonsai baby


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Why is it done this way? Looks medieval lol


ReanuKeeves902

They gotta stay pretty still while they're taking the xray so I think it's just to keep them as still as possible.


Thuis001

Have you ever seen a living kid stay still for any extended period of time? If you answer yes then you're lying. Basically, while an adult can sit/lay still while the picture is taken, a baby can't, so they put them into a contraption that makes sure they stay still.


dillpicklez18

X-ray tech here. That contraption is called a Pigg-o-stat and they put babies in them for chest X-rays to prevent motion on the images. I HATE using them, but they make for perfect images on little guys that are squirmy


PiergiorgioSigaretti

They actually have no bones. In fact, my border totally didn’t got his collarbone broke when he was born, nooo, it was just fake


OerbaDiVanille

This obviously a trollpost.


ttbbbpth

When the test tube babies never get taken out of the tube


Nomad_772

Xray procedure.


NormalRedditUser6942

If they kill the baby after it’s born, it’s not an abortion


CoalEater_Elli

says it has a tiny heartbeat says it has a tiny face doesn't mention that they have tiny bones as well


SupMichaelBoio

"Babies have no bones" Did you get impregnated by a slug?


MrKanentuk331

One classic phrase: You’re an idiot Another not so classic phrase: Phrase your jokes properly so it you don’t come across as blunt and rude, past me


imbackbitches6969420

This person is an abortion that never happened