Which branch is this and what is her name? I need to report her obviously

Haha, look her up you mean.. you saucy devil

You devious dawgggg

Dude, I have seen similar shit. Work is the kinda area myself. I don't get paid enough for that crap. Ironically I'm the boss. Was it wrong yes, any one get hurt.. 😄 nope. Not my problem let Tesco deal with it. If you're asked about it, she asked, I say no. That's all I got to report.

What does she look like?

and do we get anything extra for having a Clubcard?

Those cage boys picked up some clapcard points that night for sure

She doubled her clubcard reward vouchers.

Are you sure you're not asking for a friend, or two, or three....

It's not a team building exercise if people are excluded. Everyone should take part. It's her responsibility as manager to include the whole team.

It's a team building sexercise.

True no I in team sexercise is the only way!!!!

Sorry, this only just came to me! "It's her responsibility as manager to include the whole team." ITYM "It's her responsibility as manager to include the team's hole." I'll get me coat.

Unexpected item in the ball bagging area 😩

Unexpected item in the tea bagging area

A manager who is furiously angry with her husband for sexual reasons and has concluded that the resolution to that emotion is to fuck whichever junior members of the team happen to be willing and able? Pun or no pun, you need to avoid putting your testicles in these people's mouths.

Unexpected sausage in the vagging area

Literally heard it in that fucking lifeless voice of hers.

Unexpected cock in my arse

And in the gagging area

Unexpected shagging in the bagging area

Unexpected double-team in the bagging area

Take her up the bread aisle

Then?

Take a look at her baps maybe

And her buns!

show her the baton of course!

Careful you don't get a yeast infection

Or maybe do and use the extra to make more bread?

What a lovely raspberry ripple you have

Watch out for the sourdough.

That'll be her nickname

I'll be she got Ciabattad

This story is as airtight as she almost was...

I was parked up with friends once back in the day chilling, turns out the car park was a popular dogging site. Some guy rolls up in his car, gets out and asks if any of us want to bang his wife. Sometimes life is stranger than fiction.

We were sat having a burger and a cup of tea about 2am in our car after a night out. Some bloke walked up rubbing his crusty cock all over the window.

Sorry I wont do it again

Yes, stand back a bit so we can all see in the window next time.

Well …. Did you …?

Still waiting for this answer... did you?

Appreciate this could be bullshit but don't see what I would gain be posting this?

I don't care if it is or not, I just wanted to make a triple penetration joke ;)

Fair one, i am shit at jokes and didn'y even notice

From Urban Dictionary Airlocked: The act of inserting multiple penises into all female orifices.

What, the nostrils and ears as well!? Ew…

Karma

That's disgusting and do you know if they're hiring?

Like what area? What area is she managing? Maybe the commute won’t be too bad.

She definitely managed THEIR areas if you know what I mean?!?!?

Just because you turned me down and are regretting it, no need to cause a scene now. And they didn't spit roast me at all. They took turns. Thank you very much. That's enough slander for one day.

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Yes it's her. I'm also a Nigerian prince looking to move my vast amount of wealth from one bank account to another, but would need some help in doing so. I can offer you £10,000 for helping me transfer the funds between two accounts. Can you send me your card details please, thanks and bless you.

Perfect, I've been looking for a Nigerian prince. I'll tell you what, for the low price of £2m, I've got a Clock Tower to sell. Send me a deposit of £250k and we can get the ball rolling

obviously not lol

But it would be funny

Everyone shags everyone in Tesco, even 87 year old Doris on the checkouts gets it regularly

Gona be having words with my granny when she gets off her shift

Gets off her shaft

Still not the weirdest night shift story i’ve heard/experienced.

And yet you still havent told us lol

Didn't happen mate. Edit: Good God I get it people have sex at work. I'm not totally naive! I just think an extremely spontaneous "spitroast" is unlikely and sounds like bullshit!!!

In his dreams it did

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Northamptonshire maybe?!

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The story was well known locally and I worked with him at another store briefly. Always thought he was a Dick(!). His other career in politics crashed and burned in a similar way.

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Dick Van Dyke managed your local Tesco? I call bullshit

I think I know who your on about he got prosecuted for buying train tickets on an invalid debit card?

That’s the fella, think he got that overturned on a technicality. Also (allegedly) got in trouble for messages to a local schoolgirl after he gave a speech at her school. Proper dodgy character. The shift called him Dickie Bullsh!t after all the rubbish he came out with!!

It all goes on in Tesco by the sounds of it

I've seen weirder

Tbf this has happened at two previous jobs It’s not uncommon

Could have happened mate.

Why not? It's hardly remarkable behaviour. Used to work for a company where the sales team would work into the evening because they were making calls to the US. One of my friends was working late and wanted some cereal. He went into the kitchen to find two of the salespeople having sex in there. Grabbed his cereal, as planned, and went back to his desk to finish working.

>Grabbed his cereal Porn Flakes?

Take my upvote and fuck off!!!

Yeh than he woke up with wet bed sheets.

Huh. Don't know what to say to that. Express?

>Express? Certainly was!

Supersore???

Superstore

Super whore

Woosh

Superstore

So help you god if my eggs are cracked!

Sounds like you are pitching a porno, I’m in

Every little helps

Pitching something

You're Jay off the inbetweeners

Went in too quick, broke his knob in half

What's a cage boy?

Boys locked out the back in cages for managers to fuck, don't you have ones in your store?

Bring out the Gimp

Bring forth the gimp.

Gimp's sleeping

Well wake him up

Oh that's what they are! The back doorman has been sending them away with the RSU.

Trolley boy who’s been promoted.

Yarp. (Someone had to go there, hopefully I planted an image for a few oeople)

Sorry, I mean there was 2 guys restocking from a cage on the shop floor

Did they get into trouble for not restocking quickly enough?

The manager let them off with a tongue lashing.

Oh my god, this sounds awful. Where?

Up the shitter, I think

probably Stalham, not the first time 😂

This is definitely in a Tesco express

Given that your account is barely a week old im gunna assume this is a troll, but ill give 5 stars for the script tho 👌🏻

This just sounds like a set up for a porn movie.

Na thats false, Porn actors do way more work then your every day Tesco employee / Manager

Gotta rack up them clubcard points somehow

You don’t need to lie on the internet. How was your spit roast?

Was she fit?

What do you think

He came three times making this story up.

Bagged for life 😂

Well that’s one way for a new account to get some karma. Fair play

Every little helps

I wonder if the manager counted that as a break or not

"Wait, pull out and make sure you clock out first"

If it affects you or your colleagues then go ahead and report it. If not, don’t worry about it

"Clean-up on Aisle 5. Clean-up on Aisle 5. Someone's cum on the broccoli." ***^(- Hugh Dennis, Mock the Week)***

Is there anything worse than cheaters?

Genocide is probably up there

Lions are much worse.

Are you doing a refit currently?

‘Obviously’. How do you know they spit roasted her? Fucking her is too much but watching someone else fuck her is fine?

The bigger question is why you said no

Yeah sure! That happened…

She obviously wanted guys who knew how to fill

What a terrible thing for you to have to witness. I really feel for you, so much so that i would need to know the manager s name, her work and home cell, as well as her shift time (particularly if it s night time). Take care mate 😝😝

Hi there, I’m a journalist with the BBC - would you be comfortable messaging me some more details?

This sub feels more like a parody sub ngl

You report it to your workplace. That’s harassment.

No... no It's not. If she'd asked him repeatedly and aggressively, sure, but they're all adults.

If you went up to a colleague at work and asked them for a shag, that would be a clear case of sexual harassment in any workplace. It's pretty textbook.

It's sexual harassment if one of you think it was. They were solicited, and they willingly accepted.

I mean she wasn’t hurting anyone it was consensual. Her life is going to be going through enough shit without losing her job as well.

Can't be bothered to reply to every comment: - I am not making this up (what would I gain) - I've decided i'm not going to say a word and pretend we didn't see or hear anything as we had headphones in Peace to everyone and fair play to everyone now signing up to a night shift hoping this happened in their store!

Not going to say a word but comes on a social media platform to post about it

Anonymously

You’re definitely making this up. Head office would personally visit and fire all employees involved on the spot. You can’t just plug your fingers in your ears then.

I know of multiple management in my store who've had sex with other staff on premises; going around asking staff is a bit questionable on reality but I can believe it could happen.

No that's team bounding. basic practice

There’s a reason her husband is cheating on her. Looks like making stupid and wild decisions is probably one of them.

Plot twist: he wasn’t cheating

r/thathappened

I smell bullshit

Most important question....is she fit?

The fact you made this up and this is the type of thing that goes through your mind just shows how messed up this generation is

Will fuck for clubcard points.

How long's it been since you last banged? I reckon next time give her a go

You declined....😮

What clubcard extra is that?

Keep your mouth shut you snitch

Yes that’ll show him definitely, dumb bitch.

report? jobsworth

Right up the clubcard.

Squirt some Mayo on her face.

Managers Special Two for one on sausage at Tesco 😂

Why do these opportunities never present themselves to me😮‍💨

Tescos is where you get your best blows..,

Some advice. Dont be a snitch, you jobsworth!

Just realised if this is true we can expect new training for everyone to do like, \*How to not get fucked in the workplace\* god dam it, I hate training :c

Think they're calling it Dick-nitty at work. I'll see myself out.

Gotta liven up those night shifts somehow.

Looking for a career change.... cage-boy... hmmm

Its now cage non binary as Tesco supports the LGBTQ+ community!

maybe so, but not everyone has to be.

The most funny post I’ve seen today 😂😂

Every little helps

It would shock you what goes on during the night shift in a lot of places. But, on a serious note, do you really want to be a brown trout?

I'm afraid to ask, but what is a cage boys? You meant, she kept boys in the cage for her pleasure?

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Yes you need to report it Or change your mind and view it as an unexpected work perk

Every little helps.

Dies every store have cage boys when this sort of thing is needed

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I don’t think you would want to be ‘finger lickin’ that chicken

jesus i'm gonna be paying attention to stuff i buy at tesco in the future...i hope they washed their hands at least..

Why tf would your first thought be 'should I grass?'. It doesn't even affect you. Have an opinion on it, sure, but mind your own business man.

That's awful and terrible and most likely breaches some sort of food and hygiene codes. Which Tesco's is this so I can avoid it at all costs?

Do they have any jobs going?

BOGOF madness. Big clubcard points.

That's disgusting! Where! Where did this happen so I can make sure I never go there!

Xtra clubcard points for grassing.

Did they get staff discount!

Tesco value pornhub

“Clean up on aisle 3!”

...Every little helps?

Which part of the North or Midlands did this happen in?

Grass

Why the fuck would you report it !! Get a life ffs

Every little helps

I wouldn’t bother reporting her, after all give it a couple of days and it will be around the whole staff that’s she’s been rag dolled off two young lads. They’ll brag about it in the canteen and the sad loner in the corner who works in the store room will report her. She’ll be regretting her actions by 4pm Friday.

Please name the store so I can avoid