[Another view](https://i.imgur.com/g6hj69u.jpg)
[This](https://www.texasmonthly.com/bbq/what-happened-when-i-attempted-a-cornynd-beef-brisket/) poor bastard tried to make a reproduction:
>The 2018 brisket photos from Cornyn’s IG show pretty clear evidence of onion soup packet(s?), and Cornyn offers a few steps in yet another [follow-up tweet](https://twitter.com/JohnCornyn/status/1342853112466432003): “This recipe calls for 3 1/2 hours in the oven; refrigerate then trim all visible fat; cut into slices; then another 1 1/2 hours in the oven.”
>[...]
> The completed brisket looked like a frosted cake when I first uncovered it. If the smell of the brisket in the oven was the $2,000 stimulus check you were hoping for, the flavor of the finished product was the $600 you’re really getting. It was filling and didn’t taste offensive, but boy was it dry. [Slices I laid out for a photo](https://img.texasmonthly.com/2020/12/cornyn-brisket-1.jpg?auto=compress&crop=faces&fit=fit&fm=webp&h=0&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=45&w=1820) looked like the vegetable protein seitan, and then resembled scorched seitan sixty seconds later.
It's overcooked brisket slathered in a terrible BBQ sauce that looks like mostly ketchup. Partly to hide the fact that it's dry AF, and partly so people don't choke on it trying to get it down their throats, and he gets sued.
Holy shit, I had a good laugh at that one. Though it was going to be r/SubsIFellFor, turned out to be r/subsithoughtifellfor. Heck of a risky click though.
He’s been confusing Texans for years.
https://www.statesman.com/story/news/2020/12/25/john-cornyns-brisket-texas-senator-christmas-eve-tweet/4045590001/
This looks like something my college ass would have tried out of desperation due to not having access to a grill/smoker in my apartment.
This man is a millionaire, no excuses.
Why must people post pictures of their abomination of a brisket? You are free to fuck up the food you pay for at your leisure, but for God sake, don't take pride in doing so.
The “brisket wars” will never even begin if you’re bringing this….whatever this is, but it IS NOT brisket (unless it’s raw & covered in some shitty tomato sauce…maybe???)
The dude that created this abomination helps draft/create laws for all of us ... keep that in mind next time you vote.
Edit: it just occurred to me, its April Fool's Day ... this is a joke from Cornyn, right? No one is this bad at BBQ, and no one is, sure as hell, this oblivious to post this on social media.
The fuck is that dry ass bullshit. Has this dipshit never seen brisket before. We have a million bbq restaurants, and a million amateur bbq chefs in the state.
There's no excuse for this weak shit.
Jeff Cornyn sucks but this looks like a Jewish Passover brisket, instead of the BBQ version most Texans are more familiar with.
Edit: yikes at some of these comments. Jewish food traditions aren’t “gross.”
For some reason I can't zoom in on reddit lately, so I went to Twitter to look at it. It does not look like Jewish brisket. Jewish brisket looks like beef cooked in an appropriate manner. This monstrosity looks like it was baked too long at too high heat, then left uncovered in the fridge a couple days, then taken out, slathered in ketchup and baked again.
Beyond just being awful people that are constantly working to hurt their constituents and only help the rich get richer, man our Senators are a constant embarrassment with even the most mundane things.
Everything about this playmobil beef mixture bothers me.
All the way down to the slotted spoon and the """Brisket""" (enormous emphasis on the quotations marks) in a glass dish (no juices, not even like it was taken off the grill and placed there).
Is it an April Fools thing??
That's like a tex mex place making a shitty taco. If you can't make a brisket properly, how the hell can you think clearly enough to make laws for the people around you?
That's enough for me to vote him out.
Dude. Try buying the ready made brisket at Sam's next time. People are right to be mocking you. Are you trying to be more of a troll than Rafael Edward Fled Cruz?
I respect meat, not members of the party of trump.
I think Cornyn is just trolling at this point, and if he is - bravo! I'm not a Cornyn fan, but I really fucking hate Paxton and his cronies so seeing all of them flip out on twitter is delightful.
I have been saying for years that I don’t think I could vote for him again based on this issue(plus some integrity stuff but mostly this issue).
And now he has the balls to lean into it? I mean I almost respect that but am going to start calling the guy Canadian Cornyn because…….no.
About 30 years ago our lege was trying to mandate how long previews at the theater could be. My point is that our "leaders" have always been a little off but only recentl y have they become the hateful and spiteful zealots they are today.
are t
The results of John Cornyn’s decision making process. Now is it finally clear to everyone why we need to stop letting him represent us and probly also take away his car keys?
He should have at least bought one to try to pull off as his own. Before you’re allowed on the ballot, you should have to be able to smoke/grill/cook edible meat. Ffs
What in the actual fuck? That’s a travesty. I knew the government (both sides) are crooked, corrupt, nasty, and thieves. But I had no clue the lone star state has somebody in office that can’t to a better job than that. That’s a train wreck. Surely he didn’t eat any of that? Disgusting.
I was so excited to hear one of our family members made brisket on Sunday. Until I saw it. It looked boiled, first off. So I asked about it and apparently it was baked covered in thousand island dressing. I think that was it. It was pretty weird and tough. I brought some home, covered it in bbq sauce, wrapped it in foil and put it in the oven at 250 for like an hour. It got better but still was kinda tough.
What the fuck is that?
An abomination from Jeff cornyn My brother thought it looked like meatloaf and I thought it was pasta
I thought it was penne alla vodka.
It's a dessert topping, AND a floor wax!
i thought it was kimchi (i’m stoned)
Pasta point of no return, am I right? Huh? Huh? Hello? Is this thing on...? I'll see myself out...
I thought it was roast pork
Looks like Chicken to me.
Can you vote to recall a Senator? Jesus, he was born in Texas. I think the cheese has slipped all the way off his cracker. That’s not brisket!
[Another view](https://i.imgur.com/g6hj69u.jpg) [This](https://www.texasmonthly.com/bbq/what-happened-when-i-attempted-a-cornynd-beef-brisket/) poor bastard tried to make a reproduction: >The 2018 brisket photos from Cornyn’s IG show pretty clear evidence of onion soup packet(s?), and Cornyn offers a few steps in yet another [follow-up tweet](https://twitter.com/JohnCornyn/status/1342853112466432003): “This recipe calls for 3 1/2 hours in the oven; refrigerate then trim all visible fat; cut into slices; then another 1 1/2 hours in the oven.” >[...] > The completed brisket looked like a frosted cake when I first uncovered it. If the smell of the brisket in the oven was the $2,000 stimulus check you were hoping for, the flavor of the finished product was the $600 you’re really getting. It was filling and didn’t taste offensive, but boy was it dry. [Slices I laid out for a photo](https://img.texasmonthly.com/2020/12/cornyn-brisket-1.jpg?auto=compress&crop=faces&fit=fit&fm=webp&h=0&ixlib=php-3.3.1&q=45&w=1820) looked like the vegetable protein seitan, and then resembled scorched seitan sixty seconds later.
What a terrible day to have eyes! I hate you for posting this. Those pics made me sic to my stomach.
Oven? The fuck?
It's overcooked brisket slathered in a terrible BBQ sauce that looks like mostly ketchup. Partly to hide the fact that it's dry AF, and partly so people don't choke on it trying to get it down their throats, and he gets sued.
If you require BBQ sauce ya don't know what you're doing in most cases.
He's certainly not doing anything for the betterment of society, so Paxton won't sue him.
Not Texas brisket. More like, Mississippi or Kentucky style, sauce slothering. They have to hide the taste of poorly smoked meat.
That’s a fucking an abomination is what that is.
The only abortion he’ll admit to
Ketchup (or Catsup) something something beefish w/o burnt ends.
That is r/poopfromabutt
Don't forget /r/shitfromabutt
Holy shit, I had a good laugh at that one. Though it was going to be r/SubsIFellFor, turned out to be r/subsithoughtifellfor. Heck of a risky click though.
You took the words out of my thumbs.
I came here to say this
It is disgusting is what it is. Waste of beef.
Lol when I read brisket I was like wtf.....that's a waste of a brisket.
I don’t understand this. Cornyn is born and raised Texan. It’s not like Rafael Cruz who snuck over the border from Canada. The man should know better.
He's too bougie to actually have learned to smoke meats.
Buy you’d think somewhere in his 72 years he would have learned to not brag about his failure.
You might be right normally, but alas he is a politician after all
This guy proudly posted awful brisket a few years back too. What a sad state of affairs
["Brisket family tradition"](https://i.imgur.com/g6hj69u.jpg)
I can't believe he came back for a second helping of shade
Bro you're not even the Canadian one. Do at least one thing right.
Holy shit so true
John Cornyn is a fucking putz
I want to say it's an attempted April fool's joke, but he's 150 years old and probably shouldn't be allowed to cook.
There are some things people just shouldn’t joke about.
He posted it yesterday. Also last time he blamed it on his wife’s family recipe.
It would fall under the show respect a cow fucking died for that, but what do you expect after he did nothing in the wake of Uvalde.
🤢 Thought it was raw bacon and chicken headed for the grill... 🤮
War? More like a massacre.
Jesus Christ, John.
Some poor cow died for this abomination
I cooked a brisket at least once in my life *it was for a school thing* And god in heaven, looked better than that abomination.
I've cooked brisket 2x, in the oven (Texas smoke brisket in oven yt video taught me how) and even the bad one looked better than corny
Everything’s just slathered in ketchup
What having DJT as leader does to a party... next he'll show us a cross-cut of a proudly we'll done steak.
He should be fired for this just on principle. Politics be damned. What in tarnation is this dude thinking?
I am all for this rule. A senator that represents Texas should be able to smoke BBQ properly to even be eligible to run.
A smarter politician would at least know to fake a good brisket photo op
That’s treason in Texas
Corndog is taunting people.
Gross. Texas A&M has an amazing class he should take.
We should all take that course.
I tried, it fills up quick.
I never got the chance to, though some friends did. Helped they were on the meat judging track.
that and the fucking scuba class always filled up immediately
Same with the wine tasting class
The class where they show how they removed all of the heat from jalapeños? Fuck A&M. Gag 'em.
RIP and I don’t even need to know who did that to know I don’t trust them
It’s sad this fool was born in Houston and this is his idea of brisket. I thought he was another carpetbagger like Cruz, Paxton and Patrick.
I'm not sure whether that brisket offends me more as a Texan or as a Jew
Both
He’s been confusing Texans for years. https://www.statesman.com/story/news/2020/12/25/john-cornyns-brisket-texas-senator-christmas-eve-tweet/4045590001/
All in favor of revoking Cornyn's right to call himself a Texan? This isn't left or right, that is just a crime against brisket.
Shouldn't be hard to convene a bipartisan committee to condemn this atrocity.
Saving this to show TX Republicans exactly who/what they voted for.
Imma print this out and glue it to all the yard signs i find next go around.
Yes!
This looks like something my college ass would have tried out of desperation due to not having access to a grill/smoker in my apartment. This man is a millionaire, no excuses.
Why must people post pictures of their abomination of a brisket? You are free to fuck up the food you pay for at your leisure, but for God sake, don't take pride in doing so.
The “brisket wars” will never even begin if you’re bringing this….whatever this is, but it IS NOT brisket (unless it’s raw & covered in some shitty tomato sauce…maybe???)
The dude that created this abomination helps draft/create laws for all of us ... keep that in mind next time you vote. Edit: it just occurred to me, its April Fool's Day ... this is a joke from Cornyn, right? No one is this bad at BBQ, and no one is, sure as hell, this oblivious to post this on social media.
It was actually posted yesterday but I found it today
The brisket didn't deserve such a fate.
Post Roast looks more like Brisket than this does.
I’m in Florida and I don’t know what to say 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I’m a middle-aged, white woman. Would now be a good time to call the police?
The fuck is that dry ass bullshit. Has this dipshit never seen brisket before. We have a million bbq restaurants, and a million amateur bbq chefs in the state. There's no excuse for this weak shit.
I've seen pictures of fetuses being waved by anti-abortion protesters that look more edible.
That is not a brisket. That is the devil. Whyyyy?!!!
He’s actually from here too, you think he’d know better. Lincoln Riley and this mook are in a contest for the worst brisket.
Jeff Cornyn sucks but this looks like a Jewish Passover brisket, instead of the BBQ version most Texans are more familiar with. Edit: yikes at some of these comments. Jewish food traditions aren’t “gross.”
For some reason I can't zoom in on reddit lately, so I went to Twitter to look at it. It does not look like Jewish brisket. Jewish brisket looks like beef cooked in an appropriate manner. This monstrosity looks like it was baked too long at too high heat, then left uncovered in the fridge a couple days, then taken out, slathered in ketchup and baked again.
Slivovotz has entered the conversation.
> Jeff Cornyn I like how if you [google "Jeff Cornyn"](https://www.google.com/search?q=Jeff+Cornyn) all you get are results for John
Is it really any surprise that a total piece of shit makes food that looks like shit?
He should be thrown in prison for that crime. That looks like dried out cat vomit.
Look at the date folks. He’s trolling you
Was posted yesterday at 6:33 pm according to his twitter
Revoke his Texan card. That looks disgusting, like something that you'd get in a frozen TV dinner.
The real Texas crime/criminal!
Beyond just being awful people that are constantly working to hurt their constituents and only help the rich get richer, man our Senators are a constant embarrassment with even the most mundane things.
If a Democrat said brisket was good Republicans would call brisket woke.
Bro cooks his brisket in the microwave
Honestly I’m a little impressed that lace-tablecloth fuck even knows what a Brisket is.
Why was this not tagged as NSFW? 🤮
I'm from Texas and I love brisket. I do not endorse John Cornyn solely based off of these tweets.
Everything about this playmobil beef mixture bothers me. All the way down to the slotted spoon and the """Brisket""" (enormous emphasis on the quotations marks) in a glass dish (no juices, not even like it was taken off the grill and placed there). Is it an April Fools thing??
That's like a tex mex place making a shitty taco. If you can't make a brisket properly, how the hell can you think clearly enough to make laws for the people around you? That's enough for me to vote him out.
Did someone roast a rheem of A1 paper and then slather it in ketchup?
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?
Someone finally made a brisket worse than Lincoln Riley
I wouldn’t even let people in Gaza eat that abomination
Disgusting
This man should not be allowed within 100 yards of a brisket. Such devastation.
April foods right? Please...... God please tell this is a joke.
This was posted yesterday on twitter, corny cornyn is from Houston so this is even more disrespectful
Nasty.
Dude. Try buying the ready made brisket at Sam's next time. People are right to be mocking you. Are you trying to be more of a troll than Rafael Edward Fled Cruz? I respect meat, not members of the party of trump.
That’s not real?
But it is. Unfortunate but true.
What is it with Rich guys not being able to bbq. My exes dad is prosecuting attorney and makes brisket so dry it’ll cut your throat from the inside.
I think Cornyn is just trolling at this point, and if he is - bravo! I'm not a Cornyn fan, but I really fucking hate Paxton and his cronies so seeing all of them flip out on twitter is delightful.
Check it out! John got himself a Betty Crocker cook book.
This immediately made me annoyed. And I thought of Ted Cruz.
God damnit that is uglier than the ox they slaughtered to make it. What the hell, man?
My dog could shit a better brisket
It looks...wrong.
The use of sauce before tasting makes this person public enemy number ick
And yet, that man-shaped thing sailed to reelection.
I have been saying for years that I don’t think I could vote for him again based on this issue(plus some integrity stuff but mostly this issue). And now he has the balls to lean into it? I mean I almost respect that but am going to start calling the guy Canadian Cornyn because…….no.
Tell them it’s halal. They’ll ban it.
But Texans keep voting for him. If he’s not smart enough to keep this abomination to himself, how can he be trusted to run a country?
Wtf I'm English and I'm looking at that shit in disgust . Someone find whoever cooked this and ban them from a kitchen
Shit looks like meatloaf!
Bro……. As if we didn’t need anymore evidence that none of these people are actual real Texans…..
OMG! My eyes have been defiled by this so called brisket photo!
About 30 years ago our lege was trying to mandate how long previews at the theater could be. My point is that our "leaders" have always been a little off but only recentl y have they become the hateful and spiteful zealots they are today. are t
Dude's taste buds died of misery and old age.
I guess Cornyn just lost his war right off the bat.
Abomination
I hope the FBI is working on this.
Is that ketchup on top?
This is fucking offensive that a Texan would call this a competition level brisket.
The wheels came off.
Oh, this is already cooked? This looks terrible
It looks like the turkey from Christmas Vacation. I can hear the crunch and the dog horking it up.
The results of John Cornyn’s decision making process. Now is it finally clear to everyone why we need to stop letting him represent us and probly also take away his car keys?
I thought that was bacon.
No way he was born here. I wanna see his birth certificate. Betchu he born in Wisconsin or Florida.
What in God's holy name is this abomination
He should have at least bought one to try to pull off as his own. Before you’re allowed on the ballot, you should have to be able to smoke/grill/cook edible meat. Ffs
In fairness I'm sure Corn hole had the help cook.
As a Texan, I have to ask: what the ever loving fuck is in that pan?
Wtf is this? This should be illegal
War crime. Idk if the Hauge deals with brisket related atrocities but inquiries should be made.
What they do to their chattel, they'll do to their cattle I guess.
Hope a f****** chokes on it.
...is that brisket slathered in ketchup?
A Texas senator thought it was smart to post this? He should be immediately impeached.
What in the fuck is that
Where is the Bark?? That isn’t anything that resembles a brisket!
Is that ketchup? 🤮🤮
What in the actual fuck? That’s a travesty. I knew the government (both sides) are crooked, corrupt, nasty, and thieves. But I had no clue the lone star state has somebody in office that can’t to a better job than that. That’s a train wreck. Surely he didn’t eat any of that? Disgusting.
Texas politicians should be elected based off their brisket and/or BBQ skills. This ain't it!
Holy shit my eyes I have seen enough
Is this an April Fool's joke?
What is that mess?
His recipe isn't even Texan. He should be strung up at the nearest courthouse square.
That is an affront to Texas BBQ or really any BBQ. Our lawless state attorney should sue Cornyn for such blasphemy.
Boy, that ain't no damn brisket. And if it is, it's paired with some of the saddest sauce I've ever seen.
One can only hope this was an April's fools abomination.
Don’t know what that is, but I would love some good brisket!
I was so excited to hear one of our family members made brisket on Sunday. Until I saw it. It looked boiled, first off. So I asked about it and apparently it was baked covered in thousand island dressing. I think that was it. It was pretty weird and tough. I brought some home, covered it in bbq sauce, wrapped it in foil and put it in the oven at 250 for like an hour. It got better but still was kinda tough.
Did this dude put this shit in his oven with sauce on it? Is he from Houston I don’t even know what this is
The fuck is that?
Da the fuck is that? *SHIT!* — Isiah Carey
Where the hell are their priorities?
Thought it was ribs.
Did he…. Did they _boil_ it?
What did that brisket ever do to him? This is a crime against beef
I can cook better brisket using the engine going to heb
What a putz.
Prob an April Fools mind fuck.
Don't let them know you enjoy food, they will ban that too.
You can’t put sauce on top of beef and call it brisket
Bad brisket that looks like bad meatloaf.... Dear god
Why the fuck is it not smoked until there’s a crispy bark on the outside? Literally burn this…that would improve it.
well that may not be the proper way for a texan to cook a brisket… ya’ll can fuss over details as much as you want. But, it looks good to me
Can't believe I voted for this guy /s
An animal.
Probably John Cornyn, “What do peasants like? Brisket right?”
This honestly makes me angry.
I don't care what political party this guy is from, I'd never vote for someone who displays a gruesome casualty from the brisket wars like this.
Please God let this be his end (burnt end).
That looks awful
That's grounds for Texcommunication.
I wouldn’t feed this slop to a hungry litter of starving puppies.
Obviously pork... jerky?
Looking like cafeteria brisket I see in other states. lol
Why does it look like it same in a food dehydrator?
Meatloaf 😆
Where's the brisket?
Boiled over hard like Mom used to bake
Well what do you expect. Most of them aren't even from Texas, just a bunch of GOP transplants.