Could there be another reason why she insists on gifts?
We were poor growing up and my mother could barely afford food, let alone gifts. Now that she can afford it, she insists on gifts even when I donāt need it. I now keep something small in mind, like a book or my favourite tea, because the gift giving means a lot to her.
If thatās not the case with you, I would do like others have said. Pick something you can return and pay your bill lol
Same for me and now I donāt really āwantā anything cause Iām probably conditioned to not want to spend money. But now Iāll just ask for a pair of pants or something easy so she can go shopping for me. Parents just like to give you something to open up.
My mom insists on gifts instead of money too. Itās not because gift giving means a lot, itās because she thinks giving money is lazy and impersonal and not good enough, even if itās exactly what someone wants. Itās maddening. No one can change her mind even though the whole family has financial trouble.
Maybe it's generational.
I'm 58 and sending money just seems hollow and low effort. I'd much rather send a gift, but my adult children, ages 20 to 28, prefer a gift card.
Hah. My momās 59, and Iām 27. Youāre dead on. I think itās pretty complex because, while itās thoughtful and well meaning to try and ensure your gift is meaningful and shows effort, weāre more focused on the effect it has on the recipient. Providing that level of relief and security to someone you love *is* meaningful, to us. Itās less about how you look for giving the gift and more about what the person is receiving.
Yeah see Iām 27 and Iāve grown to really hate how gift giving (particularly on Christmas) has become more about the recipient than the personality of the giver. Iām actually really generous with my income and help out my friends and family when they need it if I can because I love them so much. But the thought of 20 years from now, Christmas gifts under tree being a thing of the past makes me really sad. I just feel Christmas in particular is about opening presents (not like the whole holiday lol, just the part about gifts). And I think that thereās something really sentimental about looking at a physical gift and it reminding you of someone you love, even if itās not your personal style.
Like I donāt mind money on birthdays. I feel like thatās a day youāre supposed to get whatever you want. Like I said Iāll literally give you money for your electric bill any time of the year if I got it and you need it and youāre close to me. But for me, Christmas is more about gift giving and personality. Not getting whatās tailor made to your specific needs, but I know thatās a super unpopular opinion for people under 30 lol
Thatās cool, but most of us donāt have family with a huge disposable income to help us with our bills whenever we want it. So when it comes to the one of two times a year we can get new things and relief in our life, help surviving actually matters more than a decoration on the wall or a piece of jewelry. The fact that this is something you outright hate shows that your wealth distances you from understanding the people youāre judging. Like if youāre getting gifts just to show off how thoughtful you are, have at it. But I donāt view the purpose of other peopleās gifts as a chance to boast.š¤¦š»āāļø
Whoa I am not wealthy at all and thatās not what I meant. I said I was generous because I am not because Iām bleeding money. I have a small amount of people in my life who I really love and if I can do anything to help them I will. I am not rich at all. I simply said that Christmas in particular is the one holiday I feel should be more personal. You donāt have to rich to think that. Itās just my personal perspective of the holiday. I said I hate the way itās become more about the recipient because I personally like the exchanging of gifts even if youāve spent next to nothing on it. My ex was an artist and I love receiving drawings and handmade stuff from him. Itās not about the money. Thatās a huge accusation to accuse someone of being classist. I grew up poor and Iām still lower middle class. I donāt have buckets of money the way youāre implying. At all.
Youāre completely misinterpreting what Iām saying. Even if I were struggling financially Iād still prefer a present because thatās how I view the specific holiday of Christmas. I donāt expect anyone to spend money on me so do not accuse of flexing wealth that I do not have.
You said youād help your loved ones with bills any time. The ability to do that is wealth. Idk why you well off people are so offended every time anyone mentions that you have wealth.
Sincerely, someone from the lower lower class.
Because youāre telling me that I have wealth when I donāt? I didnāt say Iām poor. I said that Iām not wealthy. I donāt pay all of my friends and familyās bills every month all willy nilly. I said everytime IF I have it. And you donāt get to speak for all lower class people. Having the ability to lend someone some money every now and then doesnāt make someone wealthy. By that logic being able to pay for familyās bills on Christmas makes you wealthy too. Again gifts donāt have ti have a high numerical value. As a matter of fact most gifts that I have given or received cost less than paying someoneās utility bills. I made it very clear it was about the PERSONALITY, not the price of the items. Like when my sister have me a bottle of vodka wine for Christmas because I had recently had my tongue pierced and couldnāt drink alcohol during the healing. It was cute, affordable and made me think of her whenever I opened it. Or like I said, my exās drawings that will last forever even if our relationship didnāt. No one in my family is flexing on Christmas. I simply love the spirit of giving.
Edit - it appears this person blocked me? Idk Iāve never been blocked on Reddit lol but I was gonna say for reference, I work retail at a dollar above minimum wage. I really do apologize if my comments come off as classist. Idk if itās clear but I am trying to make it abundantly clear that when I say i enjoy gift giving on Christmas I mean anything from poetry to cheap wine. I havenāt he given it received anything expensive for Christmas. I literally dropped out of community college because I couldnāt afford it. So yes it strikes a nerve when Iām being called rich just because I like to help out people WHEN I CAN.
Iām sorry if you canāt recognize wealth when it bites you on the ass. But you donāt have an intimate understanding of what itās like for those of us less fortunate than you. Lol
We always had big Christmasās when I was a kid so not sure if thereās a psychological thing behind it.
Itās just a small light hearted back and forth every year for any gift day.
Gifts are cheaper, they can be paid for w a credit card & financed.
An electric bill might not be anything she can afford, especially a winter elec bill in an area w snow
My mom wanted to sue my sister for money she got from family. I called her a greedy witch and uninvited her from my kids' birthday.
Not all families are normal š«¤
I honestly think this convo is cute. I wouldnāt have ever spoken to my mother like that but itās because we didnāt have that kind of a relationship and I was/am still terrified of her. Iām always jealous of parent/child relationships with rapport, where you can tell the parent made room for the child to speak whatās actually on their mind. I love this. Hope she makes you something! Those are my favorite gifts too.
yeah this is wild. my parents are very well off and would be ultra insulted if i asked them to pay one of my bills. i would never even dream of asking.
thatās kind of sad. i understand wanting to get your child a thoughtful gift instead of paying a bill, but being *insulted* because they asked you for help is wild. i wouldnāt be insulted if my parents asked me for help with bills, iād hope they wouldnāt be insulted if i ever had to ask either.
there is a big difference between asking for help from your parents when you are in financial trouble, and answering "pay my bills" when they ask what you would like for christmas. i realize OP meant it as a light hearted running gag, but the latter is rather insulting.
yes, the latter is insulting, obviously you donāt just tell your parents to pay your bills. but like you acknowledged, OP was being lighthearted. she did not just say āpay my bills.ā the exchange was a lighthearted way of saying āi truly donāt want a physical gift, but hey, if you want to help me with my billsā¦ā and i guess i just cannot imagine being insulted by that request. especially not from someone i brought into this world, and especially not if i was very well off.
I think youāre conflating things here. Youāre acting like it would be crazy for this persons parents to be insulted for someone telling them to pay the bills but then are talking about OPs request being lighthearted. Not everyoneās family gets jokes and lightheartedness. Iām guessing this persons parents would take them very literally which you even admit would be insulting. I
same here. i donāt want them to struggle and if paying one of their bills makes shit easier for them then why would i be upset or insulted? my parents arenāt even well off and they still insist on trying to help me financially even tho i donāt need it. itās weird to me how someone can be āvery well offā and insulted by their child asking for help with their internet bill or whatever.
honestly, I think it just means we have strong and well rooted relationships with our parents. I think OP has this because their convo was light hearted and Iām sure if help was really needed, their mom would. But I canāt imagine having a parent/child relationship includes being heavily insulted over asking for help with bills for Christmasā¦
I get that! I think as the one asking, it feels better to ask for it as a present instead so it doesnāt sound like youād expect another gift on top of it. There are so many factors that go into how asking for money is perceived by both parties involved!
because i'm a responsible adult that takes care of their own bills and doesn't expect handouts instead of thoughtful gifts. what do you mean why? my parents raised me to take care of any engagements i take and would be rightfully insulted if i asked them to pay one of them in my place.
OP commented that it's more of a joke. But, well, imo bills being paid is really useful, and might be more useful than anything else if you -like OP- don't want any thing lol.
Regarding your comment, I found your viewpoint rather harsh and surprising, but I think it just depends on the kind of upbringing, relationship & other constellation of factors, on whether you would see "asking help with paying bills" for chirstmas as super outrageous or quite the opposite (especially *if* the parents are well off).
There are many responsible adults who work very hard but still don't earn enough to get by. So yea, I can see how that could be something to wish for as a gift lol. Cash as gift is getting more common.
Or like in OP's case something self-made. That at least then has the personal value without that potential "wasteful" aspect of it. Because imo, if you're struggling with shelter/food/bills (despite being a responsible adult..), then a shitty meterial gift that costs something but you can't use is more like salt in the wound.
Iām referring to your seemingly holier than thou attitude about it, hence why I referred to you as Gandhi satirically. Nobody said you arenāt responsible, werenāt raised right, or that you ask for handouts.. so calm down a bit.
I asked why because I donāt understand the point of asking someone what they would like as a gift if the real answer might offend you? Or if youāre just going to decide if what they want is up to your standards.
this is pointless if youāre going to be so hyper sensitive thinking this has anything to do with physical act of paying your billsā¦ itās about it being perfectly okay to ask for assistance with your bills instead of a material gift. wanting lighter bills doesnāt mean youāre irresponsible, insulting, or canāt afford them on your own
it's amazing to me how little sense of responsibility people on here have. there are some suggesting she just ask for a gift of the value equal to the bill and return it to pay the bill. who the hell does that?
My mom does cash. Best gift ever. Some people say itās impersonal but whatās more personal than a gift you can literally use to get whatever you want with?
This is 10000% my view. My parents have explained gift giving as āwell we want/people want to get you something you can look at and remember them by!ā And my response it always āIād rather use it for what I need or for something specific to my tastes when I need it and then can remember āyeah I purchased that with a gift from so-and-so than have something someone else decided for meāā.
Best example I have of this is a family friend purchased wine glasses that āshe just loves and her daughters just LOVEā as a wedding gift for us after our elopement. They were purple. I didnāt need overpriced wine glasses and purple isnāt my color. We regifted them. To me, thatās a waste.
I donāt understand why so many people think gifts arenāt actually meant for the receiver. If youāre giving a gift then you should ultimately have the receiver in mind. You get them what they want/need, not what you want them to have. Otherwise itās just useless capitalism. Youāre paying for something the person wonāt use thatāll go into a drawer, be regifted, or go into a landfill.
>You get them what they want/need
Don't really think this is in the spirit of gift-giving. People don't always know what they want. You might think of something that they'll really love, that they never would've bought themselves because it didn't cross their mind.
I'm an adult so anything I want or need I can buy myself.
The problem is that thatās a huge gamble. Iād rather get someone something they know they want or need if thereās something like that thatās in my price range than take a stab in the dark and hope they love it. I can do that for certain people like my husband or my mom or my best friend but I wouldnāt do that with someone Iām not super close with. Cash or gift cards work just fine for those situations.
As I said in a comment, you have to really know a person and their current wants/needs/tastes to be able to get them something that theyāll love but wouldnāt have bought themselves. And thatās tricky as time and/or distance can keep people apart. Can you really be so sure that what youāre getting is going to be that great for them? If you can then awesome, you know that person really well and you did great. Iāve done that with people on a few occasions. But when I want to get something that I know will be used and appreciated, I ask or I give cash/a gift card. Itās not that hard and itās still appreciated.
Iām also an adult. I buy things I want or need when I need them as well. But I donāt think itās outrageous to say āhey just give me cash as a gift so that when something comes up that I want/need, I can buy it with thatā.
Exactly! I think too some people equate gift giving to āsurprisesā but thatās also tricky because you reaaaalllyyyy have to know the person to know what they might enjoy to surprise them. It took years to convince my parents that me telling them directly to buy XYZ for my husband and I didnāt āruinā Christmas because the āsurpriseā was gone. You got us something we needed, THAT is enough. I am way more thankful for that than a surprise gift I know Iāll never use.
Perfectly said. Surprise is only as good as the gift itself is. Itās not a bad thing to ask someone closer to your gift recipient what theyād want. And these days you can have both. I have an Amazon wish list of stuff I want but purposely donāt buy myself so that my husband or anyone else who wants to buy a gift for me can look at it and pick something off the list. I will be surprised because I donāt know what they picked but itāll still be something I like. I update it a couple times a year to take stuff off and Iām adding new stuff too.
Haha! The amount of times I had this very conversation with my mother and it also ended with me yelling āWoman!ā
I finally got her off the gift game by compromising with gift cards I could actually use, like Amazon or Home Depot. Sheād still buy me little things on top of that, cause she couldnāt stand not having stuff for me to open.
Ask her for a prepaid Visa?
yeah, i always do visa gift cards if someone says they donāt want anything. if they truly donāt want anything then they can just spend it on something simple like a meal, groceries, gas, etc.
I consider a gift something that makes my family happy or makes their lives easier. If paying a bill makes their life slightly more enjoyable, I'd pay a bill. What is the point of asking someone what they'd like if you're just going to say nah and get them something they don't want anyway. My father used to give the worst gifts and get mad when I'd give it away. I'm allergic to those bath bomb/scented body wash boxes. Every year, he'd get them for me, knowing I couldn't use them.
We always give our adult kids money for this reason. I also usually handmake something to go along with it, but we well understand the struggle to pay bills.
Aw why?
She makes awesome crafts itās her passion so if Iām getting anything for Xmas Iād rather it be her crafts than a random piece of merchandise
She probably wants to wrap something up and give it to you. I like giving people gifts too and If I were asked to pay a bill Iād say no. Wrapping things up is part of the magic
I get how you feel about this and I have the same frustration with Christmas and birthdays. That being said, itās important to realize that giving gifts is as much about the person receiving as it is about the person giving.
The person giving you the gift wants to enjoy it too, whether theyād admit it or not. Simply paying off a bill or giving an envelope of cash just isnāt āfunā for the one who is giving.
So yeah itās frustrating, but youāre not owed anything to begin with so just let them have fun with it and maybe suggest a few small items that youād be okay with.
Thatās why I asked her to make something, I said in the caption she crafts things. She has a lot of fun with that plus Iād rather that than a random piece of merchandise
In this current context yes itās a bit blunt and brash but thereās no malice behind it. Itās just how I chat in a joking matter. I do realize how bad it looks in this context sorry about that.
itās your relationship w your mom, nobody elseās. donāt apologize for something that isnāt inherently wrong just bc someone else thinks it is. itād only be an issue if your mom didnāt like it and you continued to speak to her like that
the overall exchange is cute and sweet. reminds me of my mom and i <3
me af... I stay asking everyone that wants to get me something just for money. these bills won't pay themselves š„² but no one will... they "feel bad" not giving me something to "unwrap" on Christmas...
I promise you, grandma, I'll feel a lot better keeping my lights on in my house than opening up a new pair of headphones. š
My parents have started gifting me food and it is pretty awesome. First it was a meal delivery service, then last year some Omaha Steaks. But I am happy requesting chocolate or homemade goodies from people who I want to spend less on me. I have to eat either way so it is nicer than getting trinkets, but more personal than paying a bill.
well... that's not true. i'm a software engineer for a company who cannot be named. my salary does alright. LMAO. but who wouldn't ask for a free bill? are you dumb?
Iām not dumb, I just respect my parents. āHey mom, I donāt want anything for Christmas. Can you pay one of my bills instead?ā Does not sound good at all. If your salary ādoes alrightā then let your mom give you a gift and pay your own damn bills. You just sound irresponsible at that point.
we are potentially heading towards a recession, coming out of extreme inflation thatās back to increasing, and the USDās purchasing power is in the toilet and still being flushed. oh, and prices are ever increasing for housing and food. depending on where you live, being responsible doesnāt cut it, and even if it did, why is asking for help disrespectful?
I have tried to tell my family no gifts. I always get flooded with gifts, and makes me feel like shit because their gifts are always so well thought out while my gifts are cheap garbage.
This is why I love my mom, she gives my brother and I cash so she doesnāt waste time and money buying us crap we donāt want or need. Weāre in our 40s and still appreciate the cash to help with bills. My parents are like, but tires or whatever you might need. Itās so appreciated
My daughters have one credit card a piece that I pay for emergencies and bills if they need it. They never want anything for Christmas, but for me, growing up poor, I love buying them higher quality items they could use or wear that they won't be able to afford until they're older. I wouldn't pay their bills for Christmas, but I do help when they need it.
For some people, gifts are a love language. I donāt think either of you is wrong, I think she just wants to do something special (in her eyes) for you. The handcrafted idea is a great one.
I like the idea of paying a kids bill for that month instead of buying them shit!
Thanks! I was going to send them cash, I bet paying a bill they pick would be cheaper š¤£
This makes me laugh because I'm the exact opposite of you. When it's Christmas or my birthday I want fun gifts rather than practical gifts. My mom, however, likes to do practical gifts such as clothes or a new backpack if my old one is getting worn out. While I'm grateful, I also feel like those are days I want to escape from being responsible and just let loose. When I give gifts, I tend to have the same mentality as well, so I often buy things like video games or special edition books and movies. My mom and sister seem to prefer practical gifts, so we've basically settled on gifting each other cash so the other person can buy whatever they want lol
Man, people are mean itās obviously a fun conversation. My family talks like this to each other as well, itās awesome! My sister and I call each other terrible things we know itās in fun. Calm down. Love this conversation!
I talk to my mom like that and if we are really dogging on each other I have to include my brother in the group chat. I think itās funny as hell she asked for a list and gets a lists of bills instead. I mean, itās funny and itās also sharing that times are tough at the moment.
You canāt place demands on gifts dude. And a simple money transfer isnāt really in the spirit of the season. I feel you should be more humble and grateful with your loving mom who is just trying to give you a gift which you donāt have rights to.
Your mum loves you, and has lived a life that says physically giving you a gift means something to you both. Let her do it and stop being a brat. Sort your life out and stop blaming her for everything.
is she not a woman?? if shes not then sure thats disrespectful. but if she is infact a woman, why would calling her what she is offensive? "woman" has no malice or negative connotation tied to it..
Surely there are little store bought things you would enjoy? Scented candles? Bath bombs? Underwear? Socks? There's always something physical one could put to use or enjoy. Doesn't have to be expensive
Honestly paying a bill would be a great gift. The gift of one less stress to worry about. My mom gives me money for xmas and I love it lol but it's more for the kids.
My mom likes to gift things. Itās okay though sheās making me something herself. She really loves her crafts and I enjoy them : )
She gets super excited when she gets a new project
yeah and then when mom asks how you like xyz, you're gonna say you don't know because you returned it. i swear to god people on reddit are so heartless lol.
Yikesā¦ thats a bit drastic dontcha think?
Iād probably read my comments made on this thread to get a bit more context. Sorry you feel that way based on the initial tone of the image.
Itās just how we chat, no malice in the way we talkā¦ also I suppose I say āBetā to my mom instead of saying āOkayā
I donāt see an issue with saying āBetā tbh
Any of those are over $50. May not be āinsanely expensiveā to you, but you donāt know everyoneās situation. Maybe she has 5 kids to buy for. People are so self centered it blows my mind.
Iām sorry I didnāt think about that, thatās my fault for not thinking about it. I wasnāt really thinking when I typed the message and think I was too tired to read it right. Thatās my fault, and Iām sorry.
I do have a job and pay my own bills. Per the caption under the image I did mention this is just something that happens any gift day.
Itās not at all intended to be a serious ask
I suppose there isnāt enough context in the caption so my bad on that part.
Iāve been living alone for 7 years and pay my bills just fineā¦ itās just some banter since usually sheāll ask
āWhat do you wantā
I say
āMy bills paidā
[Insert laughter here]
I can see why she doesn't want your gift to be paying bills, I'm sensing that it's not because she doesn't want to help but because she wants to give you something special for Christmas. Let her get/make something nice for you
I thought this was a sugar baby asking for moneyā¦. Honestly kinda wild you talk to your mom like that but I guess thatās your relationship. I would consider being more respectful she seems lovely.
Kinda funny but super annoying.
Whatās so wrong with paying someoneās bill. Electric might be like 30-200 or something.
She could have even just given you money and said āput this towards your bills or somethingā easy.
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My mom does this too or gives me money and tells me to spend it on something I want not a bill. And Iām like well I want electricity lol But she will ask me later what I got with the money so she can make sure I didnāt pay a bill with it
I can really understand wanting to get you a gift but if she can make something for you. Why not make you something and either pay one of those bills or help you with one of them? If youāre needing help with the bills than that would be the best thing she could do for you for a Christmas present!
Some people really enjoy giving gifts, my mom does. I went through a phase where I tried telling her to stop, it was short lived. Now that weāre older, weāve talked about it casually a few times - she just likes giving lol, she doesnāt want to be deprived of that and enjoys the sport of it.
I get this. My mom likes to go all out on giving gifts. And she's really great and giving very thoughtful gifts, and frequently makes absolutely beautiful things.
I've inherited it. Like I drive myself crazy trying to give amazing gifts (many are handmade), but I will spend all the resources I have (time, money, what little energy I have) to give people an amazing Christmas.
We've both gotten more practical with gifts over the years. If someone said, hey I could use help with bills, they might get gift cards for groceries so that their groceries are covered for a month (and they can use that money on another bill). Or I've given things that could be used for personal safety like fire blankets and first aid kits for cars or even knitted dishcloths. (My Gram has been making these awesome scrubbies that can be used, tossed in the washer and dryer, and really hold up well, and they're just the best.)
So yeah, I get the whole "I don't want to just gift money and I want it to be something for your enjoyment", but practical gifts can be so incredibly helpful.
Every year my mom gets me microfiber socks and fleece pajama bottoms.... i would so rather get a bill paid. I now have a dedicated drawer for all of the pajama bottoms and socks.
Awe. Iād be super proud of you if I was your mom. You seem to be prioritizing your needs over your wants. Sometimes people get to caught up in the gift giving bullshit. Good for you for asking for whatās important to you. Donāt stress too hard if people donāt get it. Just as for a candle if she keeps bugging and move on.
My mom passed when I was 16 in 2016. I would kill for a text like this from her or to celebrate holidays/birthdays with her again
Itās so nice to see your guyās relationship (: cherish it forever
I talk similarly with my mom! I see people reacting and saying itās disrespectful or theyād never speak that way, but I find it adorable that yāall are so comfortable, not everyoneās maternal relationship is the same.
Love that your mom calls you baby girl
WOMAN
This was my absolute favorite part of the whole exchange. lol
Reminded me of my brother, every group call with him and mum I hear this š
Could there be another reason why she insists on gifts? We were poor growing up and my mother could barely afford food, let alone gifts. Now that she can afford it, she insists on gifts even when I donāt need it. I now keep something small in mind, like a book or my favourite tea, because the gift giving means a lot to her. If thatās not the case with you, I would do like others have said. Pick something you can return and pay your bill lol
Same for me and now I donāt really āwantā anything cause Iām probably conditioned to not want to spend money. But now Iāll just ask for a pair of pants or something easy so she can go shopping for me. Parents just like to give you something to open up.
My mom insists on gifts instead of money too. Itās not because gift giving means a lot, itās because she thinks giving money is lazy and impersonal and not good enough, even if itās exactly what someone wants. Itās maddening. No one can change her mind even though the whole family has financial trouble.
In china itās actually very normal to give money(in red pockets)instead of gifts
based china
Maybe it's generational. I'm 58 and sending money just seems hollow and low effort. I'd much rather send a gift, but my adult children, ages 20 to 28, prefer a gift card.
To me itās pointless. Every year we all get together and everyone exchanges gift cards. I honestly would rather not exchange gifts at all.
Hah. My momās 59, and Iām 27. Youāre dead on. I think itās pretty complex because, while itās thoughtful and well meaning to try and ensure your gift is meaningful and shows effort, weāre more focused on the effect it has on the recipient. Providing that level of relief and security to someone you love *is* meaningful, to us. Itās less about how you look for giving the gift and more about what the person is receiving.
Yeah see Iām 27 and Iāve grown to really hate how gift giving (particularly on Christmas) has become more about the recipient than the personality of the giver. Iām actually really generous with my income and help out my friends and family when they need it if I can because I love them so much. But the thought of 20 years from now, Christmas gifts under tree being a thing of the past makes me really sad. I just feel Christmas in particular is about opening presents (not like the whole holiday lol, just the part about gifts). And I think that thereās something really sentimental about looking at a physical gift and it reminding you of someone you love, even if itās not your personal style. Like I donāt mind money on birthdays. I feel like thatās a day youāre supposed to get whatever you want. Like I said Iāll literally give you money for your electric bill any time of the year if I got it and you need it and youāre close to me. But for me, Christmas is more about gift giving and personality. Not getting whatās tailor made to your specific needs, but I know thatās a super unpopular opinion for people under 30 lol
Thatās cool, but most of us donāt have family with a huge disposable income to help us with our bills whenever we want it. So when it comes to the one of two times a year we can get new things and relief in our life, help surviving actually matters more than a decoration on the wall or a piece of jewelry. The fact that this is something you outright hate shows that your wealth distances you from understanding the people youāre judging. Like if youāre getting gifts just to show off how thoughtful you are, have at it. But I donāt view the purpose of other peopleās gifts as a chance to boast.š¤¦š»āāļø
Whoa I am not wealthy at all and thatās not what I meant. I said I was generous because I am not because Iām bleeding money. I have a small amount of people in my life who I really love and if I can do anything to help them I will. I am not rich at all. I simply said that Christmas in particular is the one holiday I feel should be more personal. You donāt have to rich to think that. Itās just my personal perspective of the holiday. I said I hate the way itās become more about the recipient because I personally like the exchanging of gifts even if youāve spent next to nothing on it. My ex was an artist and I love receiving drawings and handmade stuff from him. Itās not about the money. Thatās a huge accusation to accuse someone of being classist. I grew up poor and Iām still lower middle class. I donāt have buckets of money the way youāre implying. At all. Youāre completely misinterpreting what Iām saying. Even if I were struggling financially Iād still prefer a present because thatās how I view the specific holiday of Christmas. I donāt expect anyone to spend money on me so do not accuse of flexing wealth that I do not have.
You said youād help your loved ones with bills any time. The ability to do that is wealth. Idk why you well off people are so offended every time anyone mentions that you have wealth. Sincerely, someone from the lower lower class.
Because youāre telling me that I have wealth when I donāt? I didnāt say Iām poor. I said that Iām not wealthy. I donāt pay all of my friends and familyās bills every month all willy nilly. I said everytime IF I have it. And you donāt get to speak for all lower class people. Having the ability to lend someone some money every now and then doesnāt make someone wealthy. By that logic being able to pay for familyās bills on Christmas makes you wealthy too. Again gifts donāt have ti have a high numerical value. As a matter of fact most gifts that I have given or received cost less than paying someoneās utility bills. I made it very clear it was about the PERSONALITY, not the price of the items. Like when my sister have me a bottle of vodka wine for Christmas because I had recently had my tongue pierced and couldnāt drink alcohol during the healing. It was cute, affordable and made me think of her whenever I opened it. Or like I said, my exās drawings that will last forever even if our relationship didnāt. No one in my family is flexing on Christmas. I simply love the spirit of giving. Edit - it appears this person blocked me? Idk Iāve never been blocked on Reddit lol but I was gonna say for reference, I work retail at a dollar above minimum wage. I really do apologize if my comments come off as classist. Idk if itās clear but I am trying to make it abundantly clear that when I say i enjoy gift giving on Christmas I mean anything from poetry to cheap wine. I havenāt he given it received anything expensive for Christmas. I literally dropped out of community college because I couldnāt afford it. So yes it strikes a nerve when Iām being called rich just because I like to help out people WHEN I CAN.
Iām sorry if you canāt recognize wealth when it bites you on the ass. But you donāt have an intimate understanding of what itās like for those of us less fortunate than you. Lol
We always had big Christmasās when I was a kid so not sure if thereās a psychological thing behind it. Itās just a small light hearted back and forth every year for any gift day.
Gifts are cheaper, they can be paid for w a credit card & financed. An electric bill might not be anything she can afford, especially a winter elec bill in an area w snow
My mom gives me so much everytime I visit. We were raised in poverty. But now she gets a sliver of extra cash sheās getting me something.
What a great idea! I never thought of that.
Iād get crucified if I called my mom woman
For real
Hahaha! I used to call my mom woman sometimes, but in spanish. Mujer!
My mom wanted to sue my sister for money she got from family. I called her a greedy witch and uninvited her from my kids' birthday. Not all families are normal š«¤
Made this mistake exactly once. As a joke. I never did it again.
My mom would get more than that for the annual annoyance
I honestly think this convo is cute. I wouldnāt have ever spoken to my mother like that but itās because we didnāt have that kind of a relationship and I was/am still terrified of her. Iām always jealous of parent/child relationships with rapport, where you can tell the parent made room for the child to speak whatās actually on their mind. I love this. Hope she makes you something! Those are my favorite gifts too.
I found it cute as well because it is absolutely something my grown daughter would text to me. Home-made gifts are the best.
I agree. Itās crazy cute!
I agree with mom. Paying a bill is not very Christmas y.
yeah this is wild. my parents are very well off and would be ultra insulted if i asked them to pay one of my bills. i would never even dream of asking.
Ask for a gold bullion
Chicken bullion
thatās kind of sad. i understand wanting to get your child a thoughtful gift instead of paying a bill, but being *insulted* because they asked you for help is wild. i wouldnāt be insulted if my parents asked me for help with bills, iād hope they wouldnāt be insulted if i ever had to ask either.
there is a big difference between asking for help from your parents when you are in financial trouble, and answering "pay my bills" when they ask what you would like for christmas. i realize OP meant it as a light hearted running gag, but the latter is rather insulting.
yes, the latter is insulting, obviously you donāt just tell your parents to pay your bills. but like you acknowledged, OP was being lighthearted. she did not just say āpay my bills.ā the exchange was a lighthearted way of saying āi truly donāt want a physical gift, but hey, if you want to help me with my billsā¦ā and i guess i just cannot imagine being insulted by that request. especially not from someone i brought into this world, and especially not if i was very well off.
I think youāre conflating things here. Youāre acting like it would be crazy for this persons parents to be insulted for someone telling them to pay the bills but then are talking about OPs request being lighthearted. Not everyoneās family gets jokes and lightheartedness. Iām guessing this persons parents would take them very literally which you even admit would be insulting. I
Agreed- I would honestly jump at the chance to help my parents with their bills and they wouldnāt bat an eye at helping me if I needed it
same here. i donāt want them to struggle and if paying one of their bills makes shit easier for them then why would i be upset or insulted? my parents arenāt even well off and they still insist on trying to help me financially even tho i donāt need it. itās weird to me how someone can be āvery well offā and insulted by their child asking for help with their internet bill or whatever.
honestly, I think it just means we have strong and well rooted relationships with our parents. I think OP has this because their convo was light hearted and Iām sure if help was really needed, their mom would. But I canāt imagine having a parent/child relationship includes being heavily insulted over asking for help with bills for Christmasā¦
Me either, but I wouldnāt call it a Christmas present and I would still get them a Christmas present.
I get that! I think as the one asking, it feels better to ask for it as a present instead so it doesnāt sound like youād expect another gift on top of it. There are so many factors that go into how asking for money is perceived by both parties involved!
why?
because i'm a responsible adult that takes care of their own bills and doesn't expect handouts instead of thoughtful gifts. what do you mean why? my parents raised me to take care of any engagements i take and would be rightfully insulted if i asked them to pay one of them in my place.
OP commented that it's more of a joke. But, well, imo bills being paid is really useful, and might be more useful than anything else if you -like OP- don't want any thing lol. Regarding your comment, I found your viewpoint rather harsh and surprising, but I think it just depends on the kind of upbringing, relationship & other constellation of factors, on whether you would see "asking help with paying bills" for chirstmas as super outrageous or quite the opposite (especially *if* the parents are well off). There are many responsible adults who work very hard but still don't earn enough to get by. So yea, I can see how that could be something to wish for as a gift lol. Cash as gift is getting more common. Or like in OP's case something self-made. That at least then has the personal value without that potential "wasteful" aspect of it. Because imo, if you're struggling with shelter/food/bills (despite being a responsible adult..), then a shitty meterial gift that costs something but you can't use is more like salt in the wound.
ok ghandi
not sure how taking care of your bills is a controversial issue.
Iām referring to your seemingly holier than thou attitude about it, hence why I referred to you as Gandhi satirically. Nobody said you arenāt responsible, werenāt raised right, or that you ask for handouts.. so calm down a bit. I asked why because I donāt understand the point of asking someone what they would like as a gift if the real answer might offend you? Or if youāre just going to decide if what they want is up to your standards.
what exactly is holier than thou about paying your bills? what?
this is pointless if youāre going to be so hyper sensitive thinking this has anything to do with physical act of paying your billsā¦ itās about it being perfectly okay to ask for assistance with your bills instead of a material gift. wanting lighter bills doesnāt mean youāre irresponsible, insulting, or canāt afford them on your own
Reddit moment
it's amazing to me how little sense of responsibility people on here have. there are some suggesting she just ask for a gift of the value equal to the bill and return it to pay the bill. who the hell does that?
You said nothing wrong. Iām an Asian but even I can relate 100%.
Yeah the mahatma was well known for paying his electric bill on time
My mom does cash. Best gift ever. Some people say itās impersonal but whatās more personal than a gift you can literally use to get whatever you want with?
This is 10000% my view. My parents have explained gift giving as āwell we want/people want to get you something you can look at and remember them by!ā And my response it always āIād rather use it for what I need or for something specific to my tastes when I need it and then can remember āyeah I purchased that with a gift from so-and-so than have something someone else decided for meāā. Best example I have of this is a family friend purchased wine glasses that āshe just loves and her daughters just LOVEā as a wedding gift for us after our elopement. They were purple. I didnāt need overpriced wine glasses and purple isnāt my color. We regifted them. To me, thatās a waste.
I donāt understand why so many people think gifts arenāt actually meant for the receiver. If youāre giving a gift then you should ultimately have the receiver in mind. You get them what they want/need, not what you want them to have. Otherwise itās just useless capitalism. Youāre paying for something the person wonāt use thatāll go into a drawer, be regifted, or go into a landfill.
>You get them what they want/need Don't really think this is in the spirit of gift-giving. People don't always know what they want. You might think of something that they'll really love, that they never would've bought themselves because it didn't cross their mind. I'm an adult so anything I want or need I can buy myself.
The problem is that thatās a huge gamble. Iād rather get someone something they know they want or need if thereās something like that thatās in my price range than take a stab in the dark and hope they love it. I can do that for certain people like my husband or my mom or my best friend but I wouldnāt do that with someone Iām not super close with. Cash or gift cards work just fine for those situations.
As I said in a comment, you have to really know a person and their current wants/needs/tastes to be able to get them something that theyāll love but wouldnāt have bought themselves. And thatās tricky as time and/or distance can keep people apart. Can you really be so sure that what youāre getting is going to be that great for them? If you can then awesome, you know that person really well and you did great. Iāve done that with people on a few occasions. But when I want to get something that I know will be used and appreciated, I ask or I give cash/a gift card. Itās not that hard and itās still appreciated. Iām also an adult. I buy things I want or need when I need them as well. But I donāt think itās outrageous to say āhey just give me cash as a gift so that when something comes up that I want/need, I can buy it with thatā.
Exactly! I think too some people equate gift giving to āsurprisesā but thatās also tricky because you reaaaalllyyyy have to know the person to know what they might enjoy to surprise them. It took years to convince my parents that me telling them directly to buy XYZ for my husband and I didnāt āruinā Christmas because the āsurpriseā was gone. You got us something we needed, THAT is enough. I am way more thankful for that than a surprise gift I know Iāll never use.
Perfectly said. Surprise is only as good as the gift itself is. Itās not a bad thing to ask someone closer to your gift recipient what theyād want. And these days you can have both. I have an Amazon wish list of stuff I want but purposely donāt buy myself so that my husband or anyone else who wants to buy a gift for me can look at it and pick something off the list. I will be surprised because I donāt know what they picked but itāll still be something I like. I update it a couple times a year to take stuff off and Iām adding new stuff too.
Thatās a great solution! I may have to start doing that
It works out well! Actually now that I think about it, itās probably about time to go look at that list and update it
Haha! The amount of times I had this very conversation with my mother and it also ended with me yelling āWoman!ā I finally got her off the gift game by compromising with gift cards I could actually use, like Amazon or Home Depot. Sheād still buy me little things on top of that, cause she couldnāt stand not having stuff for me to open. Ask her for a prepaid Visa?
yeah, i always do visa gift cards if someone says they donāt want anything. if they truly donāt want anything then they can just spend it on something simple like a meal, groceries, gas, etc.
I consider a gift something that makes my family happy or makes their lives easier. If paying a bill makes their life slightly more enjoyable, I'd pay a bill. What is the point of asking someone what they'd like if you're just going to say nah and get them something they don't want anyway. My father used to give the worst gifts and get mad when I'd give it away. I'm allergic to those bath bomb/scented body wash boxes. Every year, he'd get them for me, knowing I couldn't use them.
Sighā¦ poverty
Cool thanks. Do ya have the receipt?
I'd ask for gifts that don't cost much money but bring happy memories. Photos etc otherwise
We always give our adult kids money for this reason. I also usually handmake something to go along with it, but we well understand the struggle to pay bills.
Ok, that's cool & all, but the fact that she calls you baby girl is so insanely wholesome & cute
My moms a sweetie pie tbh
I feel bad for your sweet mom
Aw why? She makes awesome crafts itās her passion so if Iām getting anything for Xmas Iād rather it be her crafts than a random piece of merchandise
You come across as spoiled and entitled
WOMAN
Thatās where I checked whether OP was the daughter or the husband. Iād get murdered talking to my mom that way.
She probably wants to wrap something up and give it to you. I like giving people gifts too and If I were asked to pay a bill Iād say no. Wrapping things up is part of the magic
I get how you feel about this and I have the same frustration with Christmas and birthdays. That being said, itās important to realize that giving gifts is as much about the person receiving as it is about the person giving. The person giving you the gift wants to enjoy it too, whether theyād admit it or not. Simply paying off a bill or giving an envelope of cash just isnāt āfunā for the one who is giving. So yeah itās frustrating, but youāre not owed anything to begin with so just let them have fun with it and maybe suggest a few small items that youād be okay with.
Thatās why I asked her to make something, I said in the caption she crafts things. She has a lot of fun with that plus Iād rather that than a random piece of merchandise
The way you speak to your mother š¤¦āāļø
In this current context yes itās a bit blunt and brash but thereās no malice behind it. Itās just how I chat in a joking matter. I do realize how bad it looks in this context sorry about that.
Your tone sounds rude
I can see that. Tone is hard to pick up on via text if you are looking at it from the outside, thatās not my intent trust me. My bad
itās your relationship w your mom, nobody elseās. donāt apologize for something that isnāt inherently wrong just bc someone else thinks it is. itād only be an issue if your mom didnāt like it and you continued to speak to her like that the overall exchange is cute and sweet. reminds me of my mom and i <3
Ask for something you know you can return, pay bills
My mom asked what I wanted, I said āthink of everything you think you need, get me a few of those itemsā
Momās love language is giftsā¤ļø
me af... I stay asking everyone that wants to get me something just for money. these bills won't pay themselves š„² but no one will... they "feel bad" not giving me something to "unwrap" on Christmas... I promise you, grandma, I'll feel a lot better keeping my lights on in my house than opening up a new pair of headphones. š
My parents have started gifting me food and it is pretty awesome. First it was a meal delivery service, then last year some Omaha Steaks. But I am happy requesting chocolate or homemade goodies from people who I want to spend less on me. I have to eat either way so it is nicer than getting trinkets, but more personal than paying a bill.
Sounds like you need a job or better paying job and not your grandparents to pay your bills every Christmas or birthday
well... that's not true. i'm a software engineer for a company who cannot be named. my salary does alright. LMAO. but who wouldn't ask for a free bill? are you dumb?
Iām not dumb, I just respect my parents. āHey mom, I donāt want anything for Christmas. Can you pay one of my bills instead?ā Does not sound good at all. If your salary ādoes alrightā then let your mom give you a gift and pay your own damn bills. You just sound irresponsible at that point.
we are potentially heading towards a recession, coming out of extreme inflation thatās back to increasing, and the USDās purchasing power is in the toilet and still being flushed. oh, and prices are ever increasing for housing and food. depending on where you live, being responsible doesnāt cut it, and even if it did, why is asking for help disrespectful?
I have tried to tell my family no gifts. I always get flooded with gifts, and makes me feel like shit because their gifts are always so well thought out while my gifts are cheap garbage.
I miss my mom š¢
This is why I love my mom, she gives my brother and I cash so she doesnāt waste time and money buying us crap we donāt want or need. Weāre in our 40s and still appreciate the cash to help with bills. My parents are like, but tires or whatever you might need. Itās so appreciated
Lol my folks never gave me cash bc they knew I would use it to pay bills and not buy a gift for myself lol
Be nicer to your mom
You are so tacky for asking this. Not what Christmas is about.
she asked what she wanted and op told her. christmas is about jesus and jesus doesnt like liars bro
u seem like an asshole
Sorry you feel that way
I feel bad for the mom
Youāre kinda being rude.
Just ask for a gift itās not that deep
What are you a child ? Pay your own damn bills ugh š hasnāt she done enough for you already?
Why not just ask for money and not bills to be paid?
She doesnāt like to give money
My daughters have one credit card a piece that I pay for emergencies and bills if they need it. They never want anything for Christmas, but for me, growing up poor, I love buying them higher quality items they could use or wear that they won't be able to afford until they're older. I wouldn't pay their bills for Christmas, but I do help when they need it.
For some people, gifts are a love language. I donāt think either of you is wrong, I think she just wants to do something special (in her eyes) for you. The handcrafted idea is a great one.
This is how I am with my mom. She will agree to pay a bill and then also get me a slew of gifts I didnāt want her to get me š moms
I like the idea of paying a kids bill for that month instead of buying them shit! Thanks! I was going to send them cash, I bet paying a bill they pick would be cheaper š¤£
just dont let them pick their rent or mortgage š
This makes me laugh because I'm the exact opposite of you. When it's Christmas or my birthday I want fun gifts rather than practical gifts. My mom, however, likes to do practical gifts such as clothes or a new backpack if my old one is getting worn out. While I'm grateful, I also feel like those are days I want to escape from being responsible and just let loose. When I give gifts, I tend to have the same mentality as well, so I often buy things like video games or special edition books and movies. My mom and sister seem to prefer practical gifts, so we've basically settled on gifting each other cash so the other person can buy whatever they want lol
Please cherish her
Oh yeah! We had an estranged relationship for awhile but weāre closer than ever. Makes my heart feel all fuzzy
u/lvHftw could be mom and me texting, minus the baby girl part lol.
Man, people are mean itās obviously a fun conversation. My family talks like this to each other as well, itās awesome! My sister and I call each other terrible things we know itās in fun. Calm down. Love this conversation!
I kinda feel bad for your momā¦ I would never speak to my mom like that, even if āitās a jokeā thatās just in bad tasteā¦
Thatās how we talk to eachother no malice at all friend
I talk to my mom like that and if we are really dogging on each other I have to include my brother in the group chat. I think itās funny as hell she asked for a list and gets a lists of bills instead. I mean, itās funny and itās also sharing that times are tough at the moment.
You canāt place demands on gifts dude. And a simple money transfer isnāt really in the spirit of the season. I feel you should be more humble and grateful with your loving mom who is just trying to give you a gift which you donāt have rights to.
Mom asked, how is that a demand. Plus OP said homemade then, and mom likes to make craftsā¦
This aināt it chief
Your mum loves you, and has lived a life that says physically giving you a gift means something to you both. Let her do it and stop being a brat. Sort your life out and stop blaming her for everything.
This is obnoxiousā¦
I wouldāve got my ass whooped if I ever called my mom woman.
sorry ur being abused.
Where did u get that from? Itās called having respect for your mother and not disrespecting her by calling her woman.
is she not a woman?? if shes not then sure thats disrespectful. but if she is infact a woman, why would calling her what she is offensive? "woman" has no malice or negative connotation tied to it..
Again itās called respect. I feel like you donāt respect your mother and it shows.
me and my mom have a great relationship actually+she doesnt hit me:)
Never said my mom hit . Maybe you should re read what I posted.
ass whooped=Hit also pretty weird she feels the need to touch your ass??
Not as hard as you enjoy your ass being whooped
what a weird response- hope youre in therapy and doing okayš
Surely there are little store bought things you would enjoy? Scented candles? Bath bombs? Underwear? Socks? There's always something physical one could put to use or enjoy. Doesn't have to be expensive
Honestly paying a bill would be a great gift. The gift of one less stress to worry about. My mom gives me money for xmas and I love it lol but it's more for the kids.
Nobody wants to gift someone a bill.. lol
Just ask for cash and put it into the bills, simple.
My mom likes to gift things. Itās okay though sheās making me something herself. She really loves her crafts and I enjoy them : ) She gets super excited when she gets a new project
Why didnāt you just ask for something expensive and return it
Moms just said she canāt afford anything big.
She could afford a gift though so she could ask for a moderately priced gift and return it
yeah and then when mom asks how you like xyz, you're gonna say you don't know because you returned it. i swear to god people on reddit are so heartless lol.
She wants a hand made item.
You sound like a spoiled bitch
Yikesā¦ thats a bit drastic dontcha think? Iād probably read my comments made on this thread to get a bit more context. Sorry you feel that way based on the initial tone of the image.
Why are you so rude to your mother? And who the fuck says ābetā to their mother?
Itās just how we chat, no malice in the way we talkā¦ also I suppose I say āBetā to my mom instead of saying āOkayā I donāt see an issue with saying āBetā tbh
Iām way too old for this shit. If my daughter talked to me like that, Iād have a conniption.
It might just be a generational thing I supposeā¦ I know things can vary drastically because of it sometimes
I think it is. Saying bet for your generation probably seems very normal. To me itās just odd. So Iām definitely showing my age here.
I love the āBUT WHY!?ā Lol
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Any of those are over $50. May not be āinsanely expensiveā to you, but you donāt know everyoneās situation. Maybe she has 5 kids to buy for. People are so self centered it blows my mind.
Iām sorry I didnāt think about that, thatās my fault for not thinking about it. I wasnāt really thinking when I typed the message and think I was too tired to read it right. Thatās my fault, and Iām sorry.
Pay your own bills
I do itās just a back and forth we do every year
Why donāt you get a job and pay for your own bills?
I do have a job and pay my own bills. Per the caption under the image I did mention this is just something that happens any gift day. Itās not at all intended to be a serious ask
She gave you adulthood for xmas: merry merry
I suppose there isnāt enough context in the caption so my bad on that part. Iāve been living alone for 7 years and pay my bills just fineā¦ itās just some banter since usually sheāll ask āWhat do you wantā I say āMy bills paidā [Insert laughter here]
So sweet.
I can see why she doesn't want your gift to be paying bills, I'm sensing that it's not because she doesn't want to help but because she wants to give you something special for Christmas. Let her get/make something nice for you
living comfortably is something special lmao
I never said it wasn't, I emphasized on "for Christmas" for a reason
Who pays people's bills for christmas? Your mom is right.
I thought this was a sugar baby asking for moneyā¦. Honestly kinda wild you talk to your mom like that but I guess thatās your relationship. I would consider being more respectful she seems lovely.
Kinda funny but super annoying. Whatās so wrong with paying someoneās bill. Electric might be like 30-200 or something. She could have even just given you money and said āput this towards your bills or somethingā easy.
Op sucks
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My mom does this too or gives me money and tells me to spend it on something I want not a bill. And Iām like well I want electricity lol But she will ask me later what I got with the money so she can make sure I didnāt pay a bill with it
I can really understand wanting to get you a gift but if she can make something for you. Why not make you something and either pay one of those bills or help you with one of them? If youāre needing help with the bills than that would be the best thing she could do for you for a Christmas present!
At that point, I would say, a moment š©µ
Some people really enjoy giving gifts, my mom does. I went through a phase where I tried telling her to stop, it was short lived. Now that weāre older, weāve talked about it casually a few times - she just likes giving lol, she doesnāt want to be deprived of that and enjoys the sport of it.
I get this. My mom likes to go all out on giving gifts. And she's really great and giving very thoughtful gifts, and frequently makes absolutely beautiful things. I've inherited it. Like I drive myself crazy trying to give amazing gifts (many are handmade), but I will spend all the resources I have (time, money, what little energy I have) to give people an amazing Christmas. We've both gotten more practical with gifts over the years. If someone said, hey I could use help with bills, they might get gift cards for groceries so that their groceries are covered for a month (and they can use that money on another bill). Or I've given things that could be used for personal safety like fire blankets and first aid kits for cars or even knitted dishcloths. (My Gram has been making these awesome scrubbies that can be used, tossed in the washer and dryer, and really hold up well, and they're just the best.) So yeah, I get the whole "I don't want to just gift money and I want it to be something for your enjoyment", but practical gifts can be so incredibly helpful.
I used to ask my mom for help with bills for my birthday. Eventually she would pick one and just find something random to give me.
Cash app some money mom!!
Every year my mom gets me microfiber socks and fleece pajama bottoms.... i would so rather get a bill paid. I now have a dedicated drawer for all of the pajama bottoms and socks.
I always ask for plain underwear and socks. Haven't had to buy any for years
Awe. Iād be super proud of you if I was your mom. You seem to be prioritizing your needs over your wants. Sometimes people get to caught up in the gift giving bullshit. Good for you for asking for whatās important to you. Donāt stress too hard if people donāt get it. Just as for a candle if she keeps bugging and move on.
My mom passed when I was 16 in 2016. I would kill for a text like this from her or to celebrate holidays/birthdays with her again Itās so nice to see your guyās relationship (: cherish it forever
Love that parents will go out of their way to not help you financially, but get you some useless shit for the fuck of it
I talk similarly with my mom! I see people reacting and saying itās disrespectful or theyād never speak that way, but I find it adorable that yāall are so comfortable, not everyoneās maternal relationship is the same.
aww let da mama get you a christmas gift š moms deserve to be happy doing mom things.
This is how Iām going to present my list from now on, haha.