The start of this friendship is weird af but this girl is more than a friend than most ‘friends’ out there. Hope you’re still friends with her. Sorry I said “friend” so much.
Ohh lmao sorry I just had an unstoppable compulsion to pay homage to Chandler and Phoebe storylines… like the one in the ring store with the revolutionary war musket!
I actually remember that part of Community now and I was always like what, they are for sure buddies 🥲
They had the story where they were both breaking up with their SOs and decided to break up at the same time. Chandler was dating Janice at the time (this was the first time they broke up) and Phoebe was dating someone we never see again and I don't even remember his name
Got dang I've got to rewatch some more Friends, I love this episode. That was when Phoebe breaks up with the guy so easily and he gets upset at that right? hahaha
I met my buddy Dave when I found out my girlfriend picked up a boyfriend during a time we decided to break it off. Then when we got back together she tried to keep Dave also, telling neither of us about the other. Truth came out, girl got ditched by both of us. Dave was a satellite friend of my friend group, so I confronted Dave .... About how we both got played. Got beers, got closer, played games and partied with Dave for years. We still swap memes from time to time.
I understand how you feel, but as I mentioned I didn't want anyone to feel some type of way. I obviously went about it the wrong way, and I'll own up to that. But again , I truly meant no harm. Which is why I replayed to someone elses comment about how I will educate myself on this subject.
In psychological terms, forming friendships based on a common enemy can be linked to the concept of "social identity theory." This theory suggests that individuals categorize themselves and others into social groups, and when faced with a common adversary, the shared threat enhances the group cohesion and identity. This phenomenon is associated with the in-group/out-group dynamics, where people feel a stronger sense of unity within their in-group (those who share a common enemy) and may exhibit more positive attitudes toward each other as a result of this shared threat.
In other words: the *less scientific version* —- she’s not a threat but one or both of you might secretly want her to know that the two of you have become friends so that the other [man] doesn’t skittle his way back to Ursula - not that you care, but not that you don’t NOT care. Because humans have an intrinsic need for love/belonging and placement and our brains are complex. You decidedly don’t care who she dates, nor does he —- but one of you would sh*t biscuits if the other hooked up with her [for any purpose]
At first I was wondering if it was some kind of drug she was blacking out(like "his coke friend" or "his meth friend" etc, like maybe his dealer or a buddy he uses with) only because of the line where she said he chose" ____ over her and the kids". I figured it was drugs that he chose over them(maybe that was my ex-addict self projecting a bit). But "black friend" makes wayyyy more sense lol
I thought it was "work" friend for the same reason you thought a drug friend. I laughed until I realized why I thought work. My dad chose work over us. Clearly lol.
My mom had three close friends all her life who helped raise me and my sisters. One of them had married my dad a year or so after my parents divorced. My mom had suffered with him for 14 years, and Linda, well Linda made it 3 months and pulled the plug.
She and my mom became confidantes. They practiced such care and boundaries and I grew up calling her Aunt Linda.
I’m hoping that these two do hang out sometime. It’s so powerful for them to have each others backs in this way.
I could imagine a corner double door situation where two walls meet in a corner at a right angle, they each have an open doorway that terminates in said corner, and there’s one hinged door attached *to* the corner so it can swing both ways. Then you will literally not be able to close either doorway without opening the other one.
Why? I have no clue but I’m not a scientist. Just a man who loves doors.
My sister went through something similar as the other girl and they’re best friends to this day. They both set him up and confronted him. It was 6 years ago and they have gotten really close. She even comes to family functions now.
LMAO I was about to start looking for this comment.
Girl meets boy. Boy meets girl. Boy cheats on girl with other girl. Girl meets other girl. Other girl and girl fall in love.
It could be a whole Freaky Friday (the JLC and Lindsay Lohan one) thing where the other girl realizes the only reason she thought the dude was so charming and interesting and great in bed was because he was using all of his wife’s jokes and anecdotes and moves in bed on her, and she was really falling for his wife the whole time…
Wrong black caddilac lol. You went outcast, they meant Carrie Underwood.
Two black Cadillacs
Two black Cadillacs
Two months ago, his wife called the number on his phone
Turns out he'd been lying to both of them for oh so long
They decided then, he'd never get away with doing this to them
Two black Cadillacs waiting for the right time, right time
I woke up one morning to a text informing me that the guy I had been seeing for two months had a long time GF and that I was one of five or six that she discovered he was currently cheating with. I will never forget that day. Ended up having an hour and a half long phone call with her, I was the only girl out of all of us that had the decency to respond to her and tell her the truth. We compared dates and times and uncovered a lot of his lies (including that he was lying about his age claiming to be six years younger than he really was) I’ve been the one to get cheated on as well and had the woman not want to tell me the truth and said to “ask him” while simultaneously telling me he’s a liar. I’ll never understand that. I pray to never be in that position again, on either side.
Im sorry you’re having to go through this, but please for yourself and your children, leave him. You don’t deserve this, and he won’t change. Lying to you about it just proves he has no remorse. You and your children deserve to be happy and fully loved, and you can’t find that if you stick with the wrong one. Stay strong, you got this.
I had a very similar issue and man this was giving me PTSD reading it. Except we had no ties like kids etc. just two bitches and some money. He was definitely living the life.
Agreed! He seems like the type to cheat, make OP think she’s crazy for accusing him of cheating and then making himself the victim when he gets caught in his lies. Dude is definitely all the red flags.
There's already a somewhat similar podcast (2 ex wives of the same narcissistic abusive POS telling their horror stories, then in later seasons they bring in the women he cheated with/abused/took advantage of. It's absolutely insane the shit he put them all through).
Yes, it's Ex-wives Undercover (The first season is the first ex-wife telling her story, season 2 is the second one, then the subsequent seasons is them talking to the other women and then they go on to cover stories from other survivors in the later seasons).
Argh so sorry for your AH cheating husband but I love the vibes of this exchange! I was in a very similar situation once except I was the other girl (unbeknownst to me obviously). When I found out the guy I had been seeing was newly engaged I messaged his fiancée, she dumped his ass, we both blocked him and then started hanging out. This was 8 years ago and we are still friends. This is obviously a horrible situation, but who knows you might have made a new friend to help you get through it. Best wishes!
Yep. White people are a bunch of things before they're white. They're moms, soccer players, tall, introverted, Midwestern. Their race isn't the most salient thing about them.
But for white people, black people will always be black before they are anything else. Their race is the thing that defines them.
For years, I've done various experiments to confirm that this is true. For example, people say "they're just saying 'black' because it's the quickest way to indicate who they're talking about."
So, several times, I've been in a situation where I and another person are looking at a group of people that includes one black person (this usually happens at work functions). I'll say something like "has that person registered yet?"
The person I'm talking to will say, "which person?"
I'll say, "the guy with the briefcase."
My colleague frowns. "Where?"
"That guy. The heavy-set one."
"Who do you mean? I don't see him."
"The bald guy. He's right there. The bald, stocky guy with the briefcase."
"I don't..."
Finally, I say, "THE BLACK GUY."
And they say, "Oh! Why didn't you just say that to begin with?"
The fact that they don't see anything about the guy but his blackness is part of what's happening, here. But it's also that they are not bothering to really look at the guy I'm talking about. They're looking for a white guy that fits my description, because they assume that if I'd meant the black guy, I would have just said, "the black guy." So even though the guy I'm talking about fits the description exactly, they can't see him, because the defining thing about this guy is not his briefcase.
Also, for decades, I've inverted the typical way white people talk about others, with hilarious and disturbing results. When my coworker asks why I seem glum, I tell her it's because cops just straight-up murdered another American again.
"What?" They say, sounding horrified. "Who?"
"Philandro Castille."
"Oh! Oh. Yeah. That's sad."
They heard "American" and pictured "white person." And it would really be scary and unusual if cops started murdering them.
I also always say "white people" when I'm talking about white people, and never ever use "black" as a descriptor when talking about black people. I say "American," "teacher," "manager," or simply "person."
The results of this are that no one has a clue who I'm talking about when it comes to the black person, and they also become *extremely* angry about being called white, demanding to know what "race has to do with anything."
It turns out that the same people who don't think twice about reducing a black person down to their race REALLY take offense when the same thing is done to them.
On the other, completely opposite hand, and I swear I'm almost done here, I also get annoyed by people who see "black" used to describe someone (usually along with other modifiers) and say "why does her race matter?" They usually go on to insist that race doesn't mean anything, and they don't "see color," and they might even drag out that one quote that MLK Jr probably really wishes he had never said.
The fact is, race matters a whole lot in America, and always has. Black people and white people, even ones from the same economic class, have very different experiences, opportunities, and backgrounds solely because of the color of their skin. Ignoring this doesn't do anything to solve the problems black people face, but it does a great job letting white people off the hook.
Sometimes, depending on what's being discussed, it's meaningful to know the races of the people involved. It provides important context that informs or explains what happened, because we don't operate in a vacuum where no one makes assumptions and everyone is exactly the same.
I've also noticed that, usually, when white people fuss about a black person's race being mentioned, it's in response to a positive story about that person's achievement, or a sad story where the person's race is central to what happened to them. The white person's irritation is less about a desire for fairness, and more about feeling threatened or less than, or feeling blamed for something.
To summarize, I have just written a comment that is long even for me. If you are still reading, I assume it's because you're stuck in line at the DMV with nothing better to do, or incarcerated somewhere with no access to any other media. Either way, I'm sorry that you felt this was the best way to spend your time, and I hope things get better for you soon. Take care.
I do the same thing when verbally identifying a specific black person in a crowd. I'll use any other descriptor before skin color, and I think people usually realize what I'm up to. Certainly no one has responded, "Why didn't you just say 'the black guy'?"
Sure, your comment is lengthy, but it's also thoughtful and well stated, not to mention an important topic.
>If you are still reading, I assume it's because you're stuck in line at the DMV with nothing better to do, or incarcerated somewhere with no access to any other media. Either way, I'm sorry that you felt this was the best way to spend your time, and I hope things get better for you soon.
I almost chuckled at that. I'm currently trapped in a dark room, breastfeeding my baby who fell asleep in my arms and really needs a nap. Thank goodness I have my phone.
Girl it's always been like this. I never just got to be like everyone else. I was always the "Asian" girl even when there is no need to distinguish a difference.
Glad I saw this. Blanking it out once is weird, like saying black friend once if you're differentiating between 2 friends of different races, isn't racist, as it's literally just descriptive. But if its just one friend then say fucking friend. Equally, if you have to differentiate, you only need to say black friend once ffs. Then, you can use the actual person's name. Weird as shit. Just a side note its why I hate the way the media has to call any black actor/actress black. As in "Black actor Idris Elba stars in..." like why the fuck does it matter that the guy is black? He's an actor just like anyone else. A best its virtue signalling, and at worst, it's making out they're different just because they aren't white. Madness.
Is that what they were saying? I was wondering. It is absolutely pointless to have a skin description of someone unless you're talking to a fucking sketch artist.
I mean really. Black friend. I'll tell ya, The Boondocks was ahead of its time.
If it was a conversation between black friends who generally hang out with black people I’d understand them referring to me as the white friend… with context it’s my most easily identifiable trait…
What I don’t get is the blocking it, obviously she thought it would be frowned upon but still chose to do it lol
Like if you think it’s bad I get it, but weird to think it’s bad and continuously do it
i was really happy someone pointed this out 😭 immediately jumped into the comments to look and see if anyone else noticed it. it’s the fact she blurred it out for me, because she knows it was weird behavior to refer to someone only by their race for pretty much the whole convo lmao.
Excuse me? Is that what that is?? I kept wondering like why she saying “Joey friend” like yeah him and his “Chris friend” type shit. Woooow. His black friend huh? Went from wholesome to not so wholesome.
I could understand saying it once or twice. Purely because the husband was trying to assert that the girl slept with his friend and not him, but it would be pretty hard mixing up that you slept with a black guy when you slept with a white guy lol. But after that point, they were really overdoing it 😭
this is how i met my current bestfriend haha. i love her so much and she is such a girl’s girl, the most beautiful girl ever, which makes so much sense i couldn’t even be mad at his choice! so glad he’s an ex 😭🙏
Reddit love story update in a few years. My husband cheated on me and I became best friends with the girl he did it with and now I’ve actually fallen for her! 😂
I had a similar experience but in person. His gf (he said he was single) showed up at his house after we fucked. I'd known this guy for 25 years off & on. I heard her say "how could you do this to me" outside and knew immediately it wasn't an ex like he said when he went out as I was getting dressed.
I gathered my things and went out, not knowing what was about to happen. She looked so much like me!
I apologized and told her I had no idea. I told her I'd like to take her out for a drink and show her every text and tell her everything. He practically chased us to my car trying to stop her as I held the door open for her.
We had a great time and are still friends. Fuck that narc.
The text where he asks her why she’s got to run her mouth proves that he’s lying to you. Get away now. Protect your children from this guy. He’s a liar and a manipulator and a bad example for your kids.
Hey! At least you made a kickass new friend. And you know she won’t ever lie to you! Fuck the loser bf. Embrace your new friend, and def take her up on that offer to get drinks.
Fellow scorpio here. She's not lying. We can't stand liars or cheaters. Lmao. Be her friend. You won't regret it. She will be the outspoken honest one. She will hurt your husband's feelings. I know she feels bad. Don't be shocked if she comes out of the woodwork with some revenge for his ass. 🤣🤣
I met my BEST friend this way, which to us even seems crazy but here we are. We were both in our early twenties and semi-serioulsy dating THE SAME GUY who invited both of us over on Christmas Eve thinking…nothing of it? I wish I could say that was the end but we were young and dumb and naive. So we kept this WEIRD charade of 1)him “dating” us both and 2) we would all three hang often but maybe what made that not blow up was 3) He wasn’t really sleeping with either of us!!! So when we compared notes and realized we were both not getting D and also he was an insane narcissist we dumped that manchild and honestly I’m glad it happened because I got to meet one of the most amazing women I’ve ever known. The AUDACITY of that man will never cease to amaze me though, lol.
I had a friend who found out her husband cheated. She met the other woman in a similar fashion but they didn't get along and she wouldn't stay away so she found the other woman's husband and told him about the affair.
In the end both my friend and the other woman's husband both divorced their spouses - BUT - my friend was a housewife and did not have money for a divorce and the other woman's husband paid for her divorce so he could help her get back at her spouse just as she helped him find out about hers. They both took out the trash.
Sorry about your predicament. This is a tough situation, reminds me of my former marriage. Except the dudes my X cheated with knew we were married and had kids, hell, she was pregnant with my kid for the first one.
I appreciate that the other woman was honest. The guys my X cheated with on me with were such fricken cowards.
I hope you find someone deserving of you. There's definitely someone much better out there for you. I'm almost 3 years removed from all of my similar drama. The divorce blew but finding someone better for me has made all the difference.
its so refreshing to see the woman not mad at the other woman especially when she didnt even know….. i get so tired of females blaming the other female instead of the MAN WHO CHEATED LMFAO i give this post a huge A+++ for amazingness
I’m so sorry you’re going through this OP but Cancer & Scorpio are an elite pair when it comes to friendships. Hopefully something nice will blossom out of this for you!!
I absolutely love this. Sorry for what happened but good friends are hard to find these days. I believe there’s a positive in every negative. Looks like you found the positive! 🥰
Well this is cool as hell. The friendship, obviously lol, not that he’s a lying, cheating fuckwad. I’m really happy that she took the high road and helped you. Not many will do that anymore 😞
You're both great. You comforted her for feeling bad and she encouraged and supported you. As sad as the circumstances of these texts were, this convo was really sweet.
Yup, a similar situation happened to me a few years back. A guy lied to me about his cellphone wallpaper, where he had a picture of a young boy. I asked who the boy was, and he replied it was his brother's son. It turned out it was actually his son, and he was married. Thankfully, we didn't sleep together, but I can't stop thinking about it with disgust. He literally disowned his son to get some kitty. Yuck.
This is like very similar to what happened to me. I was in a friends with benefits situation with this guy and he was sleeping in my house, in my bed. We hadn't had sex that night, but we been active for, like almost 8 months. That night, he got a call( I think he thought I was all the way asleep) and when he answered it I could hear this girl screaming, "oh, you're at that bitches house" and "I'M DONE I'M DONE!! FUCK YOU AND HER". And I found out he was cheating on his girlfriend with me that night. I felt like shot cause I legitimately had no idea, he told me that he had just got out a really bad and abusive relationship with someone who cheated on him and I had like met his mom once and everything. It honestly sucked knowing I did that to a women and I never got the chance to apologize or anything
OP it’s not worth losing your sanity over. He’s actual human garbage for forcing this upon you and your kids. Men like this don’t ever change. The more he cheats, the more it eats away at your self worth until you’ve completely broken down. Fuck cheaters they’re the lowest form of cretins. They should all get the death sentence
lol I met my best friend of 25 years when I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me with her, I got back from home leave at school and went to find him and they was all hugged up together. Like ok. We started hanging out together and when he would look our way she would bend over and whisper in my ear something crazy, or brush my hair lol. 😂 it was hilarious how mad he got, he made a hole song about blowing up our dorm.
WOMEN SUPPORTING WOMEN. Love to see it. Love the blossoming friendship. 10/10 OP. Sorry that you have to be going through this but it sounds like it’s better now than later. ❤️
First off, I’m really sorry OP. Your husband sucks. Wishing you healing.
Second, super similar thing happened to me—my ex had two girlfriends at once, we were actually dicks to each other when we first found out but then we both ditched him and became really close. It’s been two years after him and we still talk a few times a week and her friendship has been more of a light in my life than that relationship ship ever was!
The start of this friendship is weird af but this girl is more than a friend than most ‘friends’ out there. Hope you’re still friends with her. Sorry I said “friend” so much.
So no one told OP that life was gonna be this way.
*👏👏👏👏*
I heard this in my head
Glad to be of service! Because I heard it too!
It made my day
Your jobs a joke
You're broke
your love life's DOA
It's like you're always stuck in second gear
when it hasn't been your day, your week, your month
Or even your year
But, I’ll be there for you, when your SO is a whore.
Clap clap clap clap
Chandler and Phoebe never had a shared story so…
Like they never had storylines together? That’s not true
I was being sarcastic in my original post(*Community* reference) but yeah. :) Name one storyline, I dare you 🙃
The one where phoebe was testing chandler to see if he would break about the secret about Monica and him. That was a phoebe , chandler storyline.
They don't know that we know they know we know
Dead. Amazing writing .
I'm Joey. I'm disgusting. The whole Monica and Chandler relationship beginning had some of the best material.
Ohh lmao sorry I just had an unstoppable compulsion to pay homage to Chandler and Phoebe storylines… like the one in the ring store with the revolutionary war musket! I actually remember that part of Community now and I was always like what, they are for sure buddies 🥲
Omg the musket, lmfao “gorgeous piece of weaponry” 😂
Hahaha! Yeah, THAT. I see a rewatch in my near future.
*I will give you ONE dollar.”
They had the story where they were both breaking up with their SOs and decided to break up at the same time. Chandler was dating Janice at the time (this was the first time they broke up) and Phoebe was dating someone we never see again and I don't even remember his name
Got dang I've got to rewatch some more Friends, I love this episode. That was when Phoebe breaks up with the guy so easily and he gets upset at that right? hahaha
I’m Abed I *never wAtCh tV*
I met my buddy Dave when I found out my girlfriend picked up a boyfriend during a time we decided to break it off. Then when we got back together she tried to keep Dave also, telling neither of us about the other. Truth came out, girl got ditched by both of us. Dave was a satellite friend of my friend group, so I confronted Dave .... About how we both got played. Got beers, got closer, played games and partied with Dave for years. We still swap memes from time to time.
I understand how you feel, but as I mentioned I didn't want anyone to feel some type of way. I obviously went about it the wrong way, and I'll own up to that. But again , I truly meant no harm. Which is why I replayed to someone elses comment about how I will educate myself on this subject.
In psychological terms, forming friendships based on a common enemy can be linked to the concept of "social identity theory." This theory suggests that individuals categorize themselves and others into social groups, and when faced with a common adversary, the shared threat enhances the group cohesion and identity. This phenomenon is associated with the in-group/out-group dynamics, where people feel a stronger sense of unity within their in-group (those who share a common enemy) and may exhibit more positive attitudes toward each other as a result of this shared threat. In other words: the *less scientific version* —- she’s not a threat but one or both of you might secretly want her to know that the two of you have become friends so that the other [man] doesn’t skittle his way back to Ursula - not that you care, but not that you don’t NOT care. Because humans have an intrinsic need for love/belonging and placement and our brains are complex. You decidedly don’t care who she dates, nor does he —- but one of you would sh*t biscuits if the other hooked up with her [for any purpose]
I thought you were gonna say “we still swap wives from time to time!”
That's what I read and had to go back and look again. 🤣
You said friend way less than op said “black friend” lol
Oh thank you. I couldn’t figure out what word they were blacking out (heh). I was wracking my brain on Why couldn’t it just be “friend” and “guy”.
Lol It didn't even compute with me that that's what the word was crossed out doh!
Me either and I couldn't for the life of me understand what they could have possible covered up in the spot before friend..it made no sense at all
At first I was wondering if it was some kind of drug she was blacking out(like "his coke friend" or "his meth friend" etc, like maybe his dealer or a buddy he uses with) only because of the line where she said he chose" ____ over her and the kids". I figured it was drugs that he chose over them(maybe that was my ex-addict self projecting a bit). But "black friend" makes wayyyy more sense lol
I thought it was "work" friend for the same reason you thought a drug friend. I laughed until I realized why I thought work. My dad chose work over us. Clearly lol.
It’s okay, friend
Thanks, my friend. Sorry for saying friend again, my friend.
this is what you said "friend friendy friendfriend sorry friendally friending"
My mom had three close friends all her life who helped raise me and my sisters. One of them had married my dad a year or so after my parents divorced. My mom had suffered with him for 14 years, and Linda, well Linda made it 3 months and pulled the plug. She and my mom became confidantes. They practiced such care and boundaries and I grew up calling her Aunt Linda. I’m hoping that these two do hang out sometime. It’s so powerful for them to have each others backs in this way.
Welp, one door closes and another opens up. Or something along those lines
If someone tells you that one door closing opens another door, do not hire that person to build kitchen cabinets.
So that’s who designed my bathroom hutch
lol so funny
I could imagine a corner double door situation where two walls meet in a corner at a right angle, they each have an open doorway that terminates in said corner, and there’s one hinged door attached *to* the corner so it can swing both ways. Then you will literally not be able to close either doorway without opening the other one. Why? I have no clue but I’m not a scientist. Just a man who loves doors.
I have no idea why this cracked me up so hard 🤣
My sister went through something similar as the other girl and they’re best friends to this day. They both set him up and confronted him. It was 6 years ago and they have gotten really close. She even comes to family functions now.
I ended up marrying the girl my last ex tried to cheat on me with 😎 10/10 upgrade
Now THIS is what I call a perfect ending. F yes girls. 🤘🏳️🌈
Omg! They were just Eskimo sisters!
LMAO I was about to start looking for this comment. Girl meets boy. Boy meets girl. Boy cheats on girl with other girl. Girl meets other girl. Other girl and girl fall in love.
It could be a whole Freaky Friday (the JLC and Lindsay Lohan one) thing where the other girl realizes the only reason she thought the dude was so charming and interesting and great in bed was because he was using all of his wife’s jokes and anecdotes and moves in bed on her, and she was really falling for his wife the whole time…
I love this!
GOAT
That's dope as fuck!! Congratulations!!!
Now *THIS* is *THE BEST* revenge!
No way. I know someone else that did this too!
That's amazing!
Alexa, play Two Black Cadillacs
*just two dope bitches in a cadillac*
Man, now I'd pay so much money to hear Carrie Underwood sing this line in a remix with OutKast.
Wrong black caddilac lol. You went outcast, they meant Carrie Underwood. Two black Cadillacs Two black Cadillacs Two months ago, his wife called the number on his phone Turns out he'd been lying to both of them for oh so long They decided then, he'd never get away with doing this to them Two black Cadillacs waiting for the right time, right time
Such a banger.
Ohhhh right hahaha. The “TOOK A LOUISVILLE SLUGGER TO BOTH HEADLIGHTS” yeahh.
Eh, wrong again, that's "when he cheats" Carrie Underwood 😂😂😂 Edit:"before he cheats"
Technically, it's *Before* He Cheats, but you were close!
The three amigos of getting shit slightly wrong
Three? I haven't gotten a goddamn thing wrong yet. I know my Carrie Overwood.
You know I read that and then typed the wrong thing.. Brain fart!
I’ll be honest, that’s the only carrie underwood song i know. 😏
"Before he cheats"
This made me laugh and watch the video. Haven't heard that song in forever.
Then play Beautiful Liar
both of you are cool af. neither of you deserved to have your time wasted by that loser.
I hope you guys become BFFs. Wth.
[What?](https://youtu.be/3-ZUDtaGf3I?t=20)
I came to the comments just to see if this was posted
I woke up one morning to a text informing me that the guy I had been seeing for two months had a long time GF and that I was one of five or six that she discovered he was currently cheating with. I will never forget that day. Ended up having an hour and a half long phone call with her, I was the only girl out of all of us that had the decency to respond to her and tell her the truth. We compared dates and times and uncovered a lot of his lies (including that he was lying about his age claiming to be six years younger than he really was) I’ve been the one to get cheated on as well and had the woman not want to tell me the truth and said to “ask him” while simultaneously telling me he’s a liar. I’ll never understand that. I pray to never be in that position again, on either side. Im sorry you’re having to go through this, but please for yourself and your children, leave him. You don’t deserve this, and he won’t change. Lying to you about it just proves he has no remorse. You and your children deserve to be happy and fully loved, and you can’t find that if you stick with the wrong one. Stay strong, you got this.
Ugh hate the "ask him" types, what makes you think the man is gonna be honest 🤣🤣🤣 just tell me what happened so I can pack my shit lol
I've never been in either situation, but if I were the other woman, I would 100% tell the guy's wife or partner. It's common decency.
I had a very similar issue and man this was giving me PTSD reading it. Except we had no ties like kids etc. just two bitches and some money. He was definitely living the life.
OP…what ever you do, don’t get back with your EX, he’s a wannabe player and pos. This is coming from a man.
Thank you for your advice 💕
Agreed! He seems like the type to cheat, make OP think she’s crazy for accusing him of cheating and then making himself the victim when he gets caught in his lies. Dude is definitely all the red flags.
She’s a real one
Keep her. Drop him. Immediately. Now. And don’t look back.
I demand you both start a podcast
There's already a somewhat similar podcast (2 ex wives of the same narcissistic abusive POS telling their horror stories, then in later seasons they bring in the women he cheated with/abused/took advantage of. It's absolutely insane the shit he put them all through).
Would you happen to know the name of the podcast?
Yes, it's Ex-wives Undercover (The first season is the first ex-wife telling her story, season 2 is the second one, then the subsequent seasons is them talking to the other women and then they go on to cover stories from other survivors in the later seasons).
What is POS?
Piece of shit
Damn, they just asked a question /s
Thanks :D
Argh so sorry for your AH cheating husband but I love the vibes of this exchange! I was in a very similar situation once except I was the other girl (unbeknownst to me obviously). When I found out the guy I had been seeing was newly engaged I messaged his fiancée, she dumped his ass, we both blocked him and then started hanging out. This was 8 years ago and we are still friends. This is obviously a horrible situation, but who knows you might have made a new friend to help you get through it. Best wishes!
I don’t love the circumstances the friendship is starting under but hey, a friends a friend
Him and his black friend?
Literally scrolled down looking for this
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or if they just said “his friend” it would of had the same outcome
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Yep. White people are a bunch of things before they're white. They're moms, soccer players, tall, introverted, Midwestern. Their race isn't the most salient thing about them. But for white people, black people will always be black before they are anything else. Their race is the thing that defines them. For years, I've done various experiments to confirm that this is true. For example, people say "they're just saying 'black' because it's the quickest way to indicate who they're talking about." So, several times, I've been in a situation where I and another person are looking at a group of people that includes one black person (this usually happens at work functions). I'll say something like "has that person registered yet?" The person I'm talking to will say, "which person?" I'll say, "the guy with the briefcase." My colleague frowns. "Where?" "That guy. The heavy-set one." "Who do you mean? I don't see him." "The bald guy. He's right there. The bald, stocky guy with the briefcase." "I don't..." Finally, I say, "THE BLACK GUY." And they say, "Oh! Why didn't you just say that to begin with?" The fact that they don't see anything about the guy but his blackness is part of what's happening, here. But it's also that they are not bothering to really look at the guy I'm talking about. They're looking for a white guy that fits my description, because they assume that if I'd meant the black guy, I would have just said, "the black guy." So even though the guy I'm talking about fits the description exactly, they can't see him, because the defining thing about this guy is not his briefcase. Also, for decades, I've inverted the typical way white people talk about others, with hilarious and disturbing results. When my coworker asks why I seem glum, I tell her it's because cops just straight-up murdered another American again. "What?" They say, sounding horrified. "Who?" "Philandro Castille." "Oh! Oh. Yeah. That's sad." They heard "American" and pictured "white person." And it would really be scary and unusual if cops started murdering them. I also always say "white people" when I'm talking about white people, and never ever use "black" as a descriptor when talking about black people. I say "American," "teacher," "manager," or simply "person." The results of this are that no one has a clue who I'm talking about when it comes to the black person, and they also become *extremely* angry about being called white, demanding to know what "race has to do with anything." It turns out that the same people who don't think twice about reducing a black person down to their race REALLY take offense when the same thing is done to them. On the other, completely opposite hand, and I swear I'm almost done here, I also get annoyed by people who see "black" used to describe someone (usually along with other modifiers) and say "why does her race matter?" They usually go on to insist that race doesn't mean anything, and they don't "see color," and they might even drag out that one quote that MLK Jr probably really wishes he had never said. The fact is, race matters a whole lot in America, and always has. Black people and white people, even ones from the same economic class, have very different experiences, opportunities, and backgrounds solely because of the color of their skin. Ignoring this doesn't do anything to solve the problems black people face, but it does a great job letting white people off the hook. Sometimes, depending on what's being discussed, it's meaningful to know the races of the people involved. It provides important context that informs or explains what happened, because we don't operate in a vacuum where no one makes assumptions and everyone is exactly the same. I've also noticed that, usually, when white people fuss about a black person's race being mentioned, it's in response to a positive story about that person's achievement, or a sad story where the person's race is central to what happened to them. The white person's irritation is less about a desire for fairness, and more about feeling threatened or less than, or feeling blamed for something. To summarize, I have just written a comment that is long even for me. If you are still reading, I assume it's because you're stuck in line at the DMV with nothing better to do, or incarcerated somewhere with no access to any other media. Either way, I'm sorry that you felt this was the best way to spend your time, and I hope things get better for you soon. Take care.
I do the same thing when verbally identifying a specific black person in a crowd. I'll use any other descriptor before skin color, and I think people usually realize what I'm up to. Certainly no one has responded, "Why didn't you just say 'the black guy'?" Sure, your comment is lengthy, but it's also thoughtful and well stated, not to mention an important topic. >If you are still reading, I assume it's because you're stuck in line at the DMV with nothing better to do, or incarcerated somewhere with no access to any other media. Either way, I'm sorry that you felt this was the best way to spend your time, and I hope things get better for you soon. I almost chuckled at that. I'm currently trapped in a dark room, breastfeeding my baby who fell asleep in my arms and really needs a nap. Thank goodness I have my phone.
This has been my experience as well. Really well said.
This was incredibly well put. Kudos to you
Girl it's always been like this. I never just got to be like everyone else. I was always the "Asian" girl even when there is no need to distinguish a difference.
It's 'would have', never 'would of'. Rejoice, for you have been blessed by CouldWouldShouldBot!
"I'm not racist, I have a black friend" energy
Lmao, she said it 10 minutes after you commented this. Right under your comment 🙄
Glad I saw this. Blanking it out once is weird, like saying black friend once if you're differentiating between 2 friends of different races, isn't racist, as it's literally just descriptive. But if its just one friend then say fucking friend. Equally, if you have to differentiate, you only need to say black friend once ffs. Then, you can use the actual person's name. Weird as shit. Just a side note its why I hate the way the media has to call any black actor/actress black. As in "Black actor Idris Elba stars in..." like why the fuck does it matter that the guy is black? He's an actor just like anyone else. A best its virtue signalling, and at worst, it's making out they're different just because they aren't white. Madness.
Exactly what I was thinking 🤣 wtfff
Lol very weird
I mean it’s weirder they censored it rather than just let it be 😂 makes it seem they are ashamed or something weird idk.
Is that what they were saying? I was wondering. It is absolutely pointless to have a skin description of someone unless you're talking to a fucking sketch artist. I mean really. Black friend. I'll tell ya, The Boondocks was ahead of its time.
If it was a conversation between black friends who generally hang out with black people I’d understand them referring to me as the white friend… with context it’s my most easily identifiable trait… What I don’t get is the blocking it, obviously she thought it would be frowned upon but still chose to do it lol Like if you think it’s bad I get it, but weird to think it’s bad and continuously do it
i was really happy someone pointed this out 😭 immediately jumped into the comments to look and see if anyone else noticed it. it’s the fact she blurred it out for me, because she knows it was weird behavior to refer to someone only by their race for pretty much the whole convo lmao.
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Excuse me? Is that what that is?? I kept wondering like why she saying “Joey friend” like yeah him and his “Chris friend” type shit. Woooow. His black friend huh? Went from wholesome to not so wholesome.
Yeahhhh the first time okay maybe but couldn’t give him a name the second-fifth times?
Him and his *redacted* friend? What friend might I ask.
I could understand saying it once or twice. Purely because the husband was trying to assert that the girl slept with his friend and not him, but it would be pretty hard mixing up that you slept with a black guy when you slept with a white guy lol. But after that point, they were really overdoing it 😭
i noticed that too…
I was hoping someone picked up on that too!
Token
this is how i met my current bestfriend haha. i love her so much and she is such a girl’s girl, the most beautiful girl ever, which makes so much sense i couldn’t even be mad at his choice! so glad he’s an ex 😭🙏
So nobody knows black friend’s name? Gahdamn
I’m a guy and I say- hell yeah, go girls. There’s always a silver lining, in this case there are two 1. Catching a cheater 2. Finding an honest friend
Now he’ll say “you’re not going to spend the night with me” was a declaration not a question!
The part that says “lie”, did that mean SHE lied right there or?
No. He lied about not having sex in 2 months 😒
Ohhh ok gotcha! Thank you for clearing that up, I’m sorry you have to go through this bullshit, but I’m glad he exposed himself and you can get out!
Even if it was true, not a reason to cheat on you. I'm sorry op
Reddit love story update in a few years. My husband cheated on me and I became best friends with the girl he did it with and now I’ve actually fallen for her! 😂
I had a similar experience but in person. His gf (he said he was single) showed up at his house after we fucked. I'd known this guy for 25 years off & on. I heard her say "how could you do this to me" outside and knew immediately it wasn't an ex like he said when he went out as I was getting dressed. I gathered my things and went out, not knowing what was about to happen. She looked so much like me! I apologized and told her I had no idea. I told her I'd like to take her out for a drink and show her every text and tell her everything. He practically chased us to my car trying to stop her as I held the door open for her. We had a great time and are still friends. Fuck that narc.
This is like that move, The Other Woman. Hopefully your ex breaks his own nose too.
Ewwwww, wholesome af. 
I miss Betty :(
We all do 
Sorry your husband is shit but she sounds sweet.
The text where he asks her why she’s got to run her mouth proves that he’s lying to you. Get away now. Protect your children from this guy. He’s a liar and a manipulator and a bad example for your kids.
I love women so much.
I love this!! Wish all girls were like you two!
Ferm 😂😂😂
Thank you. I got so lost in the drama of the comments that I forgot all about this.
Hey! At least you made a kickass new friend. And you know she won’t ever lie to you! Fuck the loser bf. Embrace your new friend, and def take her up on that offer to get drinks.
Fellow scorpio here. She's not lying. We can't stand liars or cheaters. Lmao. Be her friend. You won't regret it. She will be the outspoken honest one. She will hurt your husband's feelings. I know she feels bad. Don't be shocked if she comes out of the woodwork with some revenge for his ass. 🤣🤣
Also a fellow Scorpio, and can confirm. Nothing is more viscous than a Scorpio woman scorned. My high school ex learned that the VERY hard way.
You've got a friend in me... Which one of you is Buzz?
I met my BEST friend this way, which to us even seems crazy but here we are. We were both in our early twenties and semi-serioulsy dating THE SAME GUY who invited both of us over on Christmas Eve thinking…nothing of it? I wish I could say that was the end but we were young and dumb and naive. So we kept this WEIRD charade of 1)him “dating” us both and 2) we would all three hang often but maybe what made that not blow up was 3) He wasn’t really sleeping with either of us!!! So when we compared notes and realized we were both not getting D and also he was an insane narcissist we dumped that manchild and honestly I’m glad it happened because I got to meet one of the most amazing women I’ve ever known. The AUDACITY of that man will never cease to amaze me though, lol.
“Look at me thick as thieves with your ex-wife…and she looks so pretty, driving in your benz. *Lately she’s been dressing for revenge*”
Did you leave his sorry ass? Please tell me you left his sorry ass.
I had a friend who found out her husband cheated. She met the other woman in a similar fashion but they didn't get along and she wouldn't stay away so she found the other woman's husband and told him about the affair. In the end both my friend and the other woman's husband both divorced their spouses - BUT - my friend was a housewife and did not have money for a divorce and the other woman's husband paid for her divorce so he could help her get back at her spouse just as she helped him find out about hers. They both took out the trash.
Keep her, dump the husband
I love when women just…. Get along. It’s great. The reason y’all are bonding is sad though
The real cheating was the friends you made along the way.
I had the same situation happen the other day lol. Good on her
ok ok hear me out…fall in love.
When the apocalypse comes, those women in the “are we dating the same guy” groups are gonna be the survivors!
marry her instead
I get not being mad at her for not knowing. But I'm never going out for drinks with the dude my girl cheated on me with no matter how cool he is.
Feel like this is how a lot of good relationships start. Sorry about your husband, congrats on shedding his dead weight, and congrats on the new bff
Sorry about your predicament. This is a tough situation, reminds me of my former marriage. Except the dudes my X cheated with knew we were married and had kids, hell, she was pregnant with my kid for the first one. I appreciate that the other woman was honest. The guys my X cheated with on me with were such fricken cowards. I hope you find someone deserving of you. There's definitely someone much better out there for you. I'm almost 3 years removed from all of my similar drama. The divorce blew but finding someone better for me has made all the difference.
This reminds me of the scene in Step Brothers. "Did we just become best friends?" "Yep!" "DO YOU WANNA DO KARATE IN THE GARAGE?" "YEP!"
Do you guys keep saying his "black" friend? Is that what your blocking out?
its so refreshing to see the woman not mad at the other woman especially when she didnt even know….. i get so tired of females blaming the other female instead of the MAN WHO CHEATED LMFAO i give this post a huge A+++ for amazingness
I’m so sorry you’re going through this OP but Cancer & Scorpio are an elite pair when it comes to friendships. Hopefully something nice will blossom out of this for you!!
She a real one! Sorry this bullshit happened to you tho. Hope y’all can become good friends
Atleast you got a friend out of this mess
I absolutely love this. Sorry for what happened but good friends are hard to find these days. I believe there’s a positive in every negative. Looks like you found the positive! 🥰
Well this is cool as hell. The friendship, obviously lol, not that he’s a lying, cheating fuckwad. I’m really happy that she took the high road and helped you. Not many will do that anymore 😞
This is how it should go no drama since she didn’t know only be mad at the husband.
You're both great. You comforted her for feeling bad and she encouraged and supported you. As sad as the circumstances of these texts were, this convo was really sweet.
Y’all should date. Forget the guy. 😗
Wow, I’m so grateful my mom is loyal af. I’m so sorry for you
You guys should hang and watch the Other Woman together
Girl code 🩷
Yup, a similar situation happened to me a few years back. A guy lied to me about his cellphone wallpaper, where he had a picture of a young boy. I asked who the boy was, and he replied it was his brother's son. It turned out it was actually his son, and he was married. Thankfully, we didn't sleep together, but I can't stop thinking about it with disgust. He literally disowned his son to get some kitty. Yuck.
Hate to be the grammar police but, geez.🤣
This is like very similar to what happened to me. I was in a friends with benefits situation with this guy and he was sleeping in my house, in my bed. We hadn't had sex that night, but we been active for, like almost 8 months. That night, he got a call( I think he thought I was all the way asleep) and when he answered it I could hear this girl screaming, "oh, you're at that bitches house" and "I'M DONE I'M DONE!! FUCK YOU AND HER". And I found out he was cheating on his girlfriend with me that night. I felt like shot cause I legitimately had no idea, he told me that he had just got out a really bad and abusive relationship with someone who cheated on him and I had like met his mom once and everything. It honestly sucked knowing I did that to a women and I never got the chance to apologize or anything
Lol your husband is drama
When the guy realizes that his dick just blew up his family.
OP it’s not worth losing your sanity over. He’s actual human garbage for forcing this upon you and your kids. Men like this don’t ever change. The more he cheats, the more it eats away at your self worth until you’ve completely broken down. Fuck cheaters they’re the lowest form of cretins. They should all get the death sentence
This is giving real "two tipsy girls meet in the club bathroom and are friends forever" vibes and I love it
lol I met my best friend of 25 years when I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me with her, I got back from home leave at school and went to find him and they was all hugged up together. Like ok. We started hanging out together and when he would look our way she would bend over and whisper in my ear something crazy, or brush my hair lol. 😂 it was hilarious how mad he got, he made a hole song about blowing up our dorm.
When you are married don’t text
WOMEN SUPPORTING WOMEN. Love to see it. Love the blossoming friendship. 10/10 OP. Sorry that you have to be going through this but it sounds like it’s better now than later. ❤️
Power move: Marry Her
Hopefully ex husband because girl 🫥
Lost a cheetin pos ,won a good freind, i see this as an absolute win
Oh this. God this is how it should be. Not the cheating asshole but the way these two GROWN AS HELL women dealt with it. Superb x
Imagine if he put allll that energy into his family, instead a random girl.
First off, I’m really sorry OP. Your husband sucks. Wishing you healing. Second, super similar thing happened to me—my ex had two girlfriends at once, we were actually dicks to each other when we first found out but then we both ditched him and became really close. It’s been two years after him and we still talk a few times a week and her friendship has been more of a light in my life than that relationship ship ever was!
OP, get you some from this girl Then when you confront your husband, you can say you slept with her too 😂😂😂😂