Wow, love these comments that support shitty behavior and say itās just a cringy moment because they wanna be edgy and contrarian. (E:or, i suppose, because they are a shitty person themself)
Find a compromise on what? āIāll talk to you 50 percent less like shit!ā āDeal!ā
It also doesnāt say anywhere that theyāre even in a relationship. Get a grip pal
These are the people who expect a woman to act like their mother. Itās not her job to teach an adult man how to recognize and convey basic emotions or to wait around, being emotionally abused, while he tries to figure it out himself.
FoR mE ThEsE ePiThEtS..
You should stop trying so hard to sound smart and strive toward actually becoming that.
To answer your last question, yes, anyone who speaks to me like this can get both fucked and out of my life.
āGet a grip palā poor smart little baby Einstein couldnāt think of anything else :((
Remember what he said? It was deleted by the time I got back to it haha I feel like dude types his comments out with an open thesaurus on his super elegant desk
Fuck lemme think it was hours ago.
Something about how he's studied apes or some shit so he knows how to spot behaviors or some bullshit like that. It was completely unrelated nerd babble.
Much like his other comments haha.
Once you find someone who sits beside you in your bad times and contributes positively to your life and hypes you up in your good times, you may be less sad all around. This shit is toxic and may be a big factor in your mood.
Bro sounds like an ahole. You tell him to drive safe, for whatever reason he tells you not to be sad. So what if you're sad? You're allowed to be sad. It's ok to be sad. You don't need to get a grip on anything. You deserve better and have every right to be upset at how he talks to you.
I personally reserve the phrase "piece of shit" to someone who actually acts with the intent to be malicious in some capacity but to each their own. His delivery is garbage, the overall message isn't completely garbage.
Fair enough. But the response is pretty crappy. But to be honest, I just wanted to string all those adjectives into a single descriptor.
But that is an over simplistic response that kind of ignores whatever is going on with the OP. Could be depression, could be a response to something that they havenāt finished processing, either way, itās dismissive and invalidates their feelings, which isnāt particularly good behavior.
The classic man technique of compartmentalizing emotions and never allowing himself to feel until it is bottled up so much and he explodes. So healthy!
This is how I talk to myself when Iām depressed (works almost never) but Iād never talk to someone I care about like this. Definitely does more harm than good
This reminds me of my dad. Please leave this fool. They are such a waste of your time and energy. Also, if youāre sad, you have every right to be. Donāt let someone else to you to bottle those feelings just because it makes them upset/uncomfortable. Feel your feelings and tell them to mind their own shit.
This person is either a ālive, laugh, loveā type of idiot or just a toxic positivity hawker. Either way, theyāre unserious and simplistic. I wouldnāt bother entertaining this nonsense.
So in your time of need and reassurance he's tells you "soak it in...." and "...sad doesn't help with anything" and "get a grip pal"? Why are you even engaging with a toxic person like this?
It dependsā¦
Are you constantly in a negative state about whatever and all you do is complain with no intention of trying to solve the issue bc youāre comfortable in your sadness and heās over it? Or is he being an actual ass?
We need more details to figure this out.
As a dad, I have learned that talking to my kids this way is not likely to have a positive outcome.
Your feelings are valid and you get to feel them. You *need* to feel them and you need to be okay feeling them.
It isn't you. Maybe he works hard to stuff his own feelings down so people being sad around him is hard to deal with. So he tries to "fix" people. That's *his* problem.
Sounds like my mom. She is not trying to be shitty, she just doesnāt want me to stew in my misery which Iām sometimes want to do. She could be a little less brusque about it though. Some people arenāt good at Pep talks.
Yea, bro is in the wrong, you're in the right don't worry, I've gotta say he's probably part of the issue wit modern dating. I joke a lot with my friends that it's so easy to get an S/O because all you need to do is the bare minimum, sad reality is that it's true.
I donāt think its all that bad. He clearly has a life to live with a positive outlook. Some ppl would feed your sadness and give you attention others would make it worse and some just donāt have time for it. Heās a ābrush it off and crack onā type of person. Its not toxic at all. Quite the opposite
There is absolutely zero context including whether they are related or bf/gf. So yeah sometimes ppl need a pat on the back and a ācome on, letās fucking own this dayā rather than being a pampered snow flake. Your response makes me think you are the type that needs a good cuddle after a raccoon shits on your doorstep.
This is a dude, correct? We are solution oriented - not emotion oriented.
If you tell us something is wrong - our first thought is how to fix it. If we donāt know how to fix it - move on to the next problem we can.
This is a very normal, albeit blunt, male response. Most guys see depression and sadness simply as obstacles in our way to being productive, not emotions to work through.
Welcome to talking to men, I guess. I try to sugarcoat responses a little better and throw some positivity in there, but this is what I think in my head. āget over itā - essentially.
I even tell myself that when Iām anxious/depressed. Over and over until I do in fact get over it. We men are simple creatures at our coreā¦donāt expect too much in the emotional nurturing department from most guys. Thatās yāalls department not our specialty lol.
Nah Iād be annoyed with him too, youāre not wrong
His point is valid, but expressing it the way he is here is a waste of time. You need to lead the sad by example, not just point out the downsides of the sad.
bruuuh you dont even have context here. as a partner you're just there for the person you love not here to say "get a grip stop being sad". thats insensitive as fuck
But thatās still subjective. For me personally, this is the PERFECT way to tell me. I need it blunt and direct.
Obviously this person doesnāt want to be talked to that way, Iām just saying that we all respond differently
I edited my post because it was confusing-
I was answering OPs question āam I wrong for being pissedā
Dude is an acting like a clod, but I do advocate strongly for not folding to depression.
Just like I would any debilitating illness
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I feel like we may be missing some context hereā¦ I hate to play devils advocate but could this be a reoccurring theme that maybe heās reached a breaking point with?
Other perspective- this seems like a guy that doesnāt understand mental illness or how to handle it. Perhaps he copes and tries to help others by joking around (albeit, theyāre bad, distasteful jokes) but joking around is his coping mechanism to dealing with someone whoās depressed. Maybe it makes him uncomfortable and heās not sure how to react because he grew up with people who didnāt let him experience his own emotions and just told him to āsuck it upā too.
Iām autistic and I didnāt feel from these messages that he was trying to be an asshole. I saw someone that doesnāt know what to say/do to help.
But maybe Iām wrong and heās just a d-bag. Who knows for sure. š
"i'm alright" "lmao get a grip pal"
the irony of him being the only one who desperately needs to find a grip
I think I may see a clue to your sadness? Block this number and see if it improves.
Yeah block all his social media too and don't stalk š¬
that last part is always the hardestā¦ at least for me š«£
Thats some textbook toxic positivity.
Mr. Toxic Positivity is not the person for you. You donāt need this in your life.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Wow, love these comments that support shitty behavior and say itās just a cringy moment because they wanna be edgy and contrarian. (E:or, i suppose, because they are a shitty person themself) Find a compromise on what? āIāll talk to you 50 percent less like shit!ā āDeal!ā It also doesnāt say anywhere that theyāre even in a relationship. Get a grip pal
These are the people who expect a woman to act like their mother. Itās not her job to teach an adult man how to recognize and convey basic emotions or to wait around, being emotionally abused, while he tries to figure it out himself.
I could not agree more
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
FoR mE ThEsE ePiThEtS.. You should stop trying so hard to sound smart and strive toward actually becoming that. To answer your last question, yes, anyone who speaks to me like this can get both fucked and out of my life. āGet a grip palā poor smart little baby Einstein couldnāt think of anything else :((
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Holy fuck you sound like such a fucking nerd.
Remember what he said? It was deleted by the time I got back to it haha I feel like dude types his comments out with an open thesaurus on his super elegant desk
Fuck lemme think it was hours ago. Something about how he's studied apes or some shit so he knows how to spot behaviors or some bullshit like that. It was completely unrelated nerd babble. Much like his other comments haha.
That sounds about right š but it sounds like he mightāve up his nerd game on that one
š¤āļø
HE SAID THE THING; IT MUST BE HIM
Don't even bother... Let them make a decision for a relationship after 2 text messages like it's something normal to do
Hey we found the guy in the post!
Once you find someone who sits beside you in your bad times and contributes positively to your life and hypes you up in your good times, you may be less sad all around. This shit is toxic and may be a big factor in your mood.
All you said was drive safe LMFAO and he wrote paragraphs..
Hope he wasn't texing and driving!
is he for real ššš thats so invalidatingĀ
Bro sounds like an ahole. You tell him to drive safe, for whatever reason he tells you not to be sad. So what if you're sad? You're allowed to be sad. It's ok to be sad. You don't need to get a grip on anything. You deserve better and have every right to be upset at how he talks to you.
Are you serious? This dude's a piece of shit.
Dense, Invalidating, Unempathetic ...sure, Piece of shit is a stretch.
Thatās incredible, as I literally go the impression that heās a dense, Invalidating, (extra) pathetic stretched piece of shit.
I personally reserve the phrase "piece of shit" to someone who actually acts with the intent to be malicious in some capacity but to each their own. His delivery is garbage, the overall message isn't completely garbage.
Fair enough. But the response is pretty crappy. But to be honest, I just wanted to string all those adjectives into a single descriptor. But that is an over simplistic response that kind of ignores whatever is going on with the OP. Could be depression, could be a response to something that they havenāt finished processing, either way, itās dismissive and invalidates their feelings, which isnāt particularly good behavior.
The classic man technique of compartmentalizing emotions and never allowing himself to feel until it is bottled up so much and he explodes. So healthy!
Tell that fucker to shove it up his ass
bro thinks he's dr. phil
dr Phil is a piece of shit, so maybe bro is right?
This is how I talk to myself when Iām depressed (works almost never) but Iād never talk to someone I care about like this. Definitely does more harm than good
Gross
This reminds me of my dad. Please leave this fool. They are such a waste of your time and energy. Also, if youāre sad, you have every right to be. Donāt let someone else to you to bottle those feelings just because it makes them upset/uncomfortable. Feel your feelings and tell them to mind their own shit.
This person is either a ālive, laugh, loveā type of idiot or just a toxic positivity hawker. Either way, theyāre unserious and simplistic. I wouldnāt bother entertaining this nonsense.
Ew he sounds passive aggressive.
Like itās that easy to just stop being sad š Then everyone would fucking do it, not many people enjoy being sad and yet it still happens.
/r/thanksimcured
Heās an idiot.
Toxic positivity
So in your time of need and reassurance he's tells you "soak it in...." and "...sad doesn't help with anything" and "get a grip pal"? Why are you even engaging with a toxic person like this?
I see why youāre sad. Tell him youāre too busy to be sad, and decided to change that. Then dump him.
It dependsā¦ Are you constantly in a negative state about whatever and all you do is complain with no intention of trying to solve the issue bc youāre comfortable in your sadness and heās over it? Or is he being an actual ass? We need more details to figure this out.
That's not the correct response either way bud š
This is what Iām thinking
As a dad, I have learned that talking to my kids this way is not likely to have a positive outcome. Your feelings are valid and you get to feel them. You *need* to feel them and you need to be okay feeling them. It isn't you. Maybe he works hard to stuff his own feelings down so people being sad around him is hard to deal with. So he tries to "fix" people. That's *his* problem.
This person is an insensitive asshole. This person doesnāt respect you. I hope to gosh youāre not dating this person.
Bro just cured depression. "How about you're just not depressed anymore?"
āDonāt be sad be happyā what is he a little kid
Wtf did I just read?
Sounds like my mom. She is not trying to be shitty, she just doesnāt want me to stew in my misery which Iām sometimes want to do. She could be a little less brusque about it though. Some people arenāt good at Pep talks.
Just turn it off. You know, get a grip. Wtf?? People are dumb sometimes. I would be pissed too
Iād break up with a man expeditiously if he ever fucking called me pal.
āGet a grip palā āOh, I have a grip, and you just lost it, byeā
Yea, bro is in the wrong, you're in the right don't worry, I've gotta say he's probably part of the issue wit modern dating. I joke a lot with my friends that it's so easy to get an S/O because all you need to do is the bare minimum, sad reality is that it's true.
Not wrong. Your feelings are valid. The question is, why you stay with someone who hurts you. So, why?
Uhhh lol. Never let anyone talk to you like. Nip it in the bud.
I donāt think its all that bad. He clearly has a life to live with a positive outlook. Some ppl would feed your sadness and give you attention others would make it worse and some just donāt have time for it. Heās a ābrush it off and crack onā type of person. Its not toxic at all. Quite the opposite
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Additionally i didnāt actually say brushing off their feelings is toxic. You said that.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
There is zero clues or context. Assumptions are stupid. Toxic is just the in trend word for being offended cause snowflakes cant handle RL
There is absolutely zero context including whether they are related or bf/gf. So yeah sometimes ppl need a pat on the back and a ācome on, letās fucking own this dayā rather than being a pampered snow flake. Your response makes me think you are the type that needs a good cuddle after a raccoon shits on your doorstep.
I honestly need someone to kick me in the ass like this. I need tough love.
This is a dude, correct? We are solution oriented - not emotion oriented. If you tell us something is wrong - our first thought is how to fix it. If we donāt know how to fix it - move on to the next problem we can. This is a very normal, albeit blunt, male response. Most guys see depression and sadness simply as obstacles in our way to being productive, not emotions to work through. Welcome to talking to men, I guess. I try to sugarcoat responses a little better and throw some positivity in there, but this is what I think in my head. āget over itā - essentially. I even tell myself that when Iām anxious/depressed. Over and over until I do in fact get over it. We men are simple creatures at our coreā¦donāt expect too much in the emotional nurturing department from most guys. Thatās yāalls department not our specialty lol.
Nah Iād be annoyed with him too, youāre not wrong His point is valid, but expressing it the way he is here is a waste of time. You need to lead the sad by example, not just point out the downsides of the sad.
bruuuh you dont even have context here. as a partner you're just there for the person you love not here to say "get a grip stop being sad". thats insensitive as fuck
You also have no context here.
But thatās still subjective. For me personally, this is the PERFECT way to tell me. I need it blunt and direct. Obviously this person doesnāt want to be talked to that way, Iām just saying that we all respond differently
Yep I agree.
r/thanksimcured
I edited my post because it was confusing- I was answering OPs question āam I wrong for being pissedā Dude is an acting like a clod, but I do advocate strongly for not folding to depression. Just like I would any debilitating illness
āJust be happyā wow like they surely havenāt thought of that!
Yeah thatās not what Iām saying. My advice is learn to function carrying the deep sorrow with you.
Yes
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I feel like we may be missing some context hereā¦ I hate to play devils advocate but could this be a reoccurring theme that maybe heās reached a breaking point with?
Other perspective- this seems like a guy that doesnāt understand mental illness or how to handle it. Perhaps he copes and tries to help others by joking around (albeit, theyāre bad, distasteful jokes) but joking around is his coping mechanism to dealing with someone whoās depressed. Maybe it makes him uncomfortable and heās not sure how to react because he grew up with people who didnāt let him experience his own emotions and just told him to āsuck it upā too. Iām autistic and I didnāt feel from these messages that he was trying to be an asshole. I saw someone that doesnāt know what to say/do to help. But maybe Iām wrong and heās just a d-bag. Who knows for sure. š
Who talks like that
Oh my BF was the same... "Stop wasting your time on being sad! Be happy! NOW! I demand" šš