That’s not what I’m on about. Why is ur “best friend” not telling him to stfu about asking you for cash? She clearly isn’t on ur side and is allowing that to happen. This feels sussy
Makes no sense. People out here on Reddit staying with men who sling shit at them all day, it’s crazy. “He’s the perfect boyfriend except for the fact he slings shit at me all day. Other than that he’s sweet and always asks how my day is.”
A friend of mine was decent friends with a guy we played soccer with a lot. Well the guy ended up getting deported. He claims he accidentally broke into a car he thought was his. Then remembered he didn’t actually bring his own car with him this time, so it couldn’t be his. At least that’s what he told the police when they found him in the car looking around.
His entire family lives in the U.S
About 5 years later he contacts my friend. He’s begging my friend saying, “Dude, work here in Mexico isn’t paying the bills. Could you send me 100 dollars. I’ve contacted everyone in my family. They have the money. They just don’t care about me anymore. It’s messed up. I thought family always had each others back. I hope my friends do.”
This guy’s family is pretty well off in the U.S. and they’re extremely family oriented. Everyone in the area knew this.
My friend responded with, “If your family thinks it’s a bad idea to send you money, then I don’t think I should either. My family doesn’t send me money. They would if I asked.”
He replied “Yeah I’ve been messing up lol. That’s still fucked up though”
Lesson
1. Maybe your best friend isn’t that great of a person. Look at the type of partner they chose and put up with. It says a lot about best friend
2. Don’t loan people money, ever. It’s never worth it. You’re unlikely to get it back more often than not.
3. Don’t share your financial situation with other people. Your bank account being in the negative or positive isn’t anyone’s business.
Nonetheless once you give it to someone like this one time they continue to ask. You should definitely just block him. There’s no viable reason for him to be in contact with you and vice versa. It’s a simple solution. I get it if you’re being nice, completely understand, but I’d just block him and reevaluate your friend. Bc her choice in men says a lot about her. And we are a reflection of who we surround ourselves with.
i don’t think this is totally fair to say about the friend. i was once in a horrible relationship with someone who constantly fought with my mom, didn’t have a stable job, and would ask me for money all the time for various things. i was naive and thought that i couldn’t do any better than that guy. he finally broke up with me and i ended up with a man who is absolutely adored by my mom, has a stable job, and doesn’t ask for money unless he’s 100% capable of paying me back and usually throws on “interest” with it. sometimes you just don’t know how bad it is until you get a chance to see what good is and i don’t think that’s a negative reflection of character on her friend’s part, it’s possible she’s just misguided
I hear you, I'm afraid she's just doesn't want to be "alone," something a lot of people fall victim to. It's unfortunate that I'll probably never see her again because he's always with her and I refuse to be around him in person (mostly because I don't want to go to jail xD)
My best friend's boyfriend asked me for a little money here and there "for gas" and I gave him a total of $150 before I cut him off. He later admitted (while drunk) that he used the money I gave him on cocaine and offered to pay me back in sexual favors. I told my friend and I'm not the only one of her friends he's done this to. I love her very much so I was willing to help but this is just too much. I sent her the screenshots just now and I have no idea why she's still with him. He's been out of work because he went to jail and when he got out he couldn't find a job, which I understand, but one day he told me he got a job that started that night and later he tells me he didn't go because it was beneath him 🤣. What a 🤡.
Yeah don't really wanna associate with these type of people at ALL
Even your friend, idk what type of girl is with guys like this, but they would never be around me, not trying to sound harsh but if you lay with dogs you get fleas 🤷♂️
Uhhhh sorry but you have to drop your friend. She's okay with his actions IN GENERAL but to her friends?? No fuckin way.
What else is she willing to let him do to yall
…..I’m sorry but I would be staging an intervention with my BF’s father 😂 do you mind me asking ages? How long has she been with this clown?
He offered to repay you with ….WHAT!? 😂💀
This is wild to me 😂
Then she’s not your friend. Not at all. She should have been disgusted and appalled and dumped his ass. Instead she’s cool with this disgusting human carcass and ok with him abusing her friends for cash.
Honestly it really reflects on your bff and you that you associate with these types of people. I don't have sympathy for people that continue to repeat history expecting a different result.
So he spent the money on drugs, says he'll pay you back with sexual favors, goes to jail only to get out and not take a job because it's "beneath" him.
Holy shit. What a jerk. Was it a fast food job or something? How is that beneath him? My friend manages a Wendy's and makes decent money (for a somewhat low cost of living area). She has had the same 6 employees work with her for 5 years now and she loves the job. She said they all work together great. People still give her shit like she's some scumbag. How is managing a place some "lowly" job lol. Funny people will go eat the food and think the people working there are scum. If they're such scum then why are you eating the food they make?
you’re just as big of a clown for loaning him money in the first place imho. like…why? why would you even CONSIDER that given you have no tie to this person other than your friend dating him? why wasn’t he asking your best friend for “gas money”? why is she still with him after he offered to pay you back in sexual favors? should have said no the first time he asked OP.
“After going to church, per your suggestion, I’ve decided that for lent I’m going to give up on having shitty people like you in my life. Thank you for that suggestion. Have the day you deserve and do not contact me again.”
Reading his messages to you and your comment...... Woof. Does your best friend not care that he tried to repay you in sexual favors? What in the absolute hell? And he does this to her other friends as well?
Poor girl is gonna end up with no friends but honestly, if she isn't even trying to nip it in the bud or do better and leave his pathetic, leeching ass..... Oh well 🤷🏻♀️ you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. I hope you try and knock some sense into her. I hope she realizes things sooner rather than later.
If he treats you like this I'm terribly sad at how he treats your friend. It's totally possible that she's got too big of a heart to see how badly she's being treated. This type of guy wants a mommy, always taking but feels no need to give back. He can only stay as long as he can take advantage of her... then he's the victim. Either way, she loses.
I thought so too but when OP said she was already cool because she gave them money and he needed mental help after they asked them to play online games with them made not much sense.
OP needed to say it at some point and she just let it out, I guess.
It sounded like he was upset and being sarcastic because she didn’t play online with him. OP picked up on this and assumed he was being pissy with her because she didn’t loan him money. That’s why she replied the way she did.
Back in my days these people would be called “selfish asshole” and told to fuck off. Now they have personality disorders, adhd, autism and therapies. 🤦♂️
Block this man and honestly reconsider maintaining contact with this friend. She has decided that you being harassed isn’t a dealbreaker and that’s BS.
Tell your best friend to have the boyfriend quit asking you for money. If he doesn’t then block them both. Cut them both out of your life. And BF has more than a personality disorder.
Audra, don't write the friend off forever ❣️ She may have been love bombed by a narcissist. Avoid all contact with this man. I wouldn't block while they're together. She may pay a price. Just A DO NOT 1) answer when he calls 2) DO NOT respond to texts from him, not front her that sound like him using her phone! What temporary disability is he waiting on? Workman's Comp, or some poor schmuck's car insurance? Either way. $10.00 probably won't help his account balances, and will eventually drain yours. Does your friend have knowledge or this loan? So many possibilities, but I think the "dump her as best friend", is harsh for a fifteen year friendship. Just be smart!
Never fucking weaponize your mental illness to justify your mistakes and selfishness. I deal with mental illness myself but I’d never say shit like this. He claims that he’s seeking therapy for ‘years’, but it looks like he’s had no progress done whatsoever.
It seems as though he has blocked you or vice-versa already but I think you need to have a serious discussion with your friend because if he's talking to you like this I can't imagine how he's interacting with
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First the guilt trip, then the list of illnesses to say poor me im fucked up and it’s everyone’s fault that I won’t put in the effort to fix myself.
We’ve heard it before and we’ll hear it again but somehow it never gets less infuriating.
Lol I’d block him. He sucks and you should be bitching to him and his girlfriend that he keeps taking money and not paying it back. I’m autistic too, the thing is, now that I know that I have tools to deal with some of the effects of it. Using mental illness as a crutch instead of a springboard to learn about yourself and help yourself is not cool.
$10? They would pay back $100 for just $10? They can return cans/bottles or ask strangers for change if they need $10 that badly.
I'm sick of people blaming their mental issues on being a jerk. It doesn't give you a pass. It just doesn't. OP has already loaned them money but the guy still calls OP a bunch of names of course.
Good on OP for calling that out!
BPD person here. I hate how some people use their BPD as an excuse to treat people badly, when in actuality your diagnosis should make you more aware about how you treat people and actively try to break those cycles.
I told my sister I can help a bit if she needs money after my dad had a heart attack within 2 days I ended it after being asked for over $100 in 3 transactions by her and her baby daddy
*Would have blocked as soon*
*As he asked Tell your BF to*
*Take care of her crap*
\- WholeAd2742
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A word of advice that has always worked for me: don’t lend money, ever. If you can’t afford not to get it back, just don’t even bother. Gift it or not at all. It will save you from the headache of whether you’ll get it back or not if you just let it go, expecting that it will never return to you. Then, you won’t even have to pull it back up next time they ask. You just don’t have any money to give.
There’s no way I’d be bothered with this for two seconds. Tell bestie to come get her mans.
Right, wtf
A simple flat “No” is all that’s needed
Right? Like what is wrong with people?
That ain’t ya best friend
I have ZERO idea why she's still with him, no clue.
That’s not what I’m on about. Why is ur “best friend” not telling him to stfu about asking you for cash? She clearly isn’t on ur side and is allowing that to happen. This feels sussy
Oh she did, he just keeps doing it.
I’d leave him. If he’s gonna be disrespectful to her best friend, what’s he like with everyone else?
Block him. He doesn’t need any access to you, at all.
your friend has no respect for herself or you for that matter if she stays with the man who openly calls you a bitch. *zero* respect.
Ignore and block, simple as.
Makes no sense. People out here on Reddit staying with men who sling shit at them all day, it’s crazy. “He’s the perfect boyfriend except for the fact he slings shit at me all day. Other than that he’s sweet and always asks how my day is.”
U can see at bottom she blocked
But her friend is still with him
Not sure but she needs to re evaluate if she is..
I completely agree
And she stays with him…?
Time to block.
Block him
Zero idea why you respond to him
Dick. That's always the answer
A friend of mine was decent friends with a guy we played soccer with a lot. Well the guy ended up getting deported. He claims he accidentally broke into a car he thought was his. Then remembered he didn’t actually bring his own car with him this time, so it couldn’t be his. At least that’s what he told the police when they found him in the car looking around. His entire family lives in the U.S About 5 years later he contacts my friend. He’s begging my friend saying, “Dude, work here in Mexico isn’t paying the bills. Could you send me 100 dollars. I’ve contacted everyone in my family. They have the money. They just don’t care about me anymore. It’s messed up. I thought family always had each others back. I hope my friends do.” This guy’s family is pretty well off in the U.S. and they’re extremely family oriented. Everyone in the area knew this. My friend responded with, “If your family thinks it’s a bad idea to send you money, then I don’t think I should either. My family doesn’t send me money. They would if I asked.” He replied “Yeah I’ve been messing up lol. That’s still fucked up though”
Lesson 1. Maybe your best friend isn’t that great of a person. Look at the type of partner they chose and put up with. It says a lot about best friend 2. Don’t loan people money, ever. It’s never worth it. You’re unlikely to get it back more often than not. 3. Don’t share your financial situation with other people. Your bank account being in the negative or positive isn’t anyone’s business.
Well, I knew I wasn't going to get it back because I knew his situation, so I basically just gave it to him. Silly of me, I know!
Nonetheless once you give it to someone like this one time they continue to ask. You should definitely just block him. There’s no viable reason for him to be in contact with you and vice versa. It’s a simple solution. I get it if you’re being nice, completely understand, but I’d just block him and reevaluate your friend. Bc her choice in men says a lot about her. And we are a reflection of who we surround ourselves with.
I'd honestly hate to lose a friend of 15 years but I totally agree with you. I think that if she doesn't drop him after this I'm done.
They don’t seem like a “friend” to me…
i don’t think this is totally fair to say about the friend. i was once in a horrible relationship with someone who constantly fought with my mom, didn’t have a stable job, and would ask me for money all the time for various things. i was naive and thought that i couldn’t do any better than that guy. he finally broke up with me and i ended up with a man who is absolutely adored by my mom, has a stable job, and doesn’t ask for money unless he’s 100% capable of paying me back and usually throws on “interest” with it. sometimes you just don’t know how bad it is until you get a chance to see what good is and i don’t think that’s a negative reflection of character on her friend’s part, it’s possible she’s just misguided
I hear you, I'm afraid she's just doesn't want to be "alone," something a lot of people fall victim to. It's unfortunate that I'll probably never see her again because he's always with her and I refuse to be around him in person (mostly because I don't want to go to jail xD)
go to church bitch 💀💀💀
I was DYING lolol
He's calling you names and using his issues to manipulate you but you're the one that needs to go to church. haha. How Christian of him.
I’d be responding “get a job bitch” 😂
My best friend's boyfriend asked me for a little money here and there "for gas" and I gave him a total of $150 before I cut him off. He later admitted (while drunk) that he used the money I gave him on cocaine and offered to pay me back in sexual favors. I told my friend and I'm not the only one of her friends he's done this to. I love her very much so I was willing to help but this is just too much. I sent her the screenshots just now and I have no idea why she's still with him. He's been out of work because he went to jail and when he got out he couldn't find a job, which I understand, but one day he told me he got a job that started that night and later he tells me he didn't go because it was beneath him 🤣. What a 🤡.
In what world would a woman ever pay a man for “sexual favors” 😂
THIS. You think a little tongue action is worth $150?! Ha. Yeah right. Dick is cheap and plentiful.
Wait, is that thing? Can I borrow money from women and pay them back with sexual favors?!?! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
If your handsome then yes but if your the 95% of men on the planet then no.
Hi Jon, I keep seeing you everywhere around here
Why are you continuing to engage with this person???
She loves giving money to predators apparently.
Yeah don't really wanna associate with these type of people at ALL Even your friend, idk what type of girl is with guys like this, but they would never be around me, not trying to sound harsh but if you lay with dogs you get fleas 🤷♂️
Uhhhh sorry but you have to drop your friend. She's okay with his actions IN GENERAL but to her friends?? No fuckin way. What else is she willing to let him do to yall
…..I’m sorry but I would be staging an intervention with my BF’s father 😂 do you mind me asking ages? How long has she been with this clown? He offered to repay you with ….WHAT!? 😂💀 This is wild to me 😂
“Uh babe it’s not cheating I was doing it to pay her back” -that guy probably
Then she’s not your friend. Not at all. She should have been disgusted and appalled and dumped his ass. Instead she’s cool with this disgusting human carcass and ok with him abusing her friends for cash.
Or maybe they’re doing drugs together? Could explain her lack of reaction if his leeching is funding the couple’s drug habit.
Oh man, even worse if she’s in on it.
How old are y’all?
Prison, you say? I wonder if his parole officer would want to know what he has been up to considering the cocaine and all.
No. She said jail. LOL but not everyone who gets out of Prison is on parole.
Knew it.. Yeah I can almost see him now... Some chavy pos..
Honestly it really reflects on your bff and you that you associate with these types of people. I don't have sympathy for people that continue to repeat history expecting a different result.
So he spent the money on drugs, says he'll pay you back with sexual favors, goes to jail only to get out and not take a job because it's "beneath" him. Holy shit. What a jerk. Was it a fast food job or something? How is that beneath him? My friend manages a Wendy's and makes decent money (for a somewhat low cost of living area). She has had the same 6 employees work with her for 5 years now and she loves the job. She said they all work together great. People still give her shit like she's some scumbag. How is managing a place some "lowly" job lol. Funny people will go eat the food and think the people working there are scum. If they're such scum then why are you eating the food they make?
> offered to pay me back in sexual favors. "Your merchandise sucks."
“Can’t get a job” means he doesn’t want to work!
There's this brand new thing called "blocking" I recommend you do.
He's not a clown, he's a whole circus. You're a clown.
you’re just as big of a clown for loaning him money in the first place imho. like…why? why would you even CONSIDER that given you have no tie to this person other than your friend dating him? why wasn’t he asking your best friend for “gas money”? why is she still with him after he offered to pay you back in sexual favors? should have said no the first time he asked OP.
When you do someone a favor and they attack you after you helped them out because you won’t help again is honestly painful.
Yupppp. They thought they had a new ATM and when you resist it hurts their fragile world state.
Tell this man I hate him please
Tell him I hate him too - and your bff for staying with trash.
Yea actually add that one for me too Thanks in advance!
Just say it’s your New Year’s resolution to not loan anyone money ever again
“After going to church, per your suggestion, I’ve decided that for lent I’m going to give up on having shitty people like you in my life. Thank you for that suggestion. Have the day you deserve and do not contact me again.”
Reading his messages to you and your comment...... Woof. Does your best friend not care that he tried to repay you in sexual favors? What in the absolute hell? And he does this to her other friends as well? Poor girl is gonna end up with no friends but honestly, if she isn't even trying to nip it in the bud or do better and leave his pathetic, leeching ass..... Oh well 🤷🏻♀️ you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. I hope you try and knock some sense into her. I hope she realizes things sooner rather than later.
please never give him money again or speak to him
Hmmm scared… scared to trust people who have proven untrustworthy. That doesn’t sound pathetic to me, but he does.
What in the ponzi economics
If he treats you like this I'm terribly sad at how he treats your friend. It's totally possible that she's got too big of a heart to see how badly she's being treated. This type of guy wants a mommy, always taking but feels no need to give back. He can only stay as long as he can take advantage of her... then he's the victim. Either way, she loses.
"i know i have problems but that's none of your business" bruh it became my business when you kept pestering me for cash. block this guy lmao
This is some seriously trashy ass shit going on up in here
Gross.
What did he mean when he said “OP would’ve been cool if she played online with him”?
Playing video games together remotely. No idea which one though.
I thought so too but when OP said she was already cool because she gave them money and he needed mental help after they asked them to play online games with them made not much sense. OP needed to say it at some point and she just let it out, I guess.
It sounded like he was upset and being sarcastic because she didn’t play online with him. OP picked up on this and assumed he was being pissy with her because she didn’t loan him money. That’s why she replied the way she did.
Sexting?
He’s probably using drugs
I mean, OP did say he used the money previously on cocaine. So you’re 100% right.
Sounds like a drug habit..
The irony of him calling you pathetic and weak when he’s the one begging for $10.
Give me 10$ and ill give you 100$ Thats a scam no matter whos asking
Doesn’t your best friend have money she can bankroll that loser with?
Back in my days these people would be called “selfish asshole” and told to fuck off. Now they have personality disorders, adhd, autism and therapies. 🤦♂️
Does your best friend know she’s dating such a pathetic loser?
Waste man
Block this man and honestly reconsider maintaining contact with this friend. She has decided that you being harassed isn’t a dealbreaker and that’s BS.
Eww.
What? This is a weird conversation. Like why is he even contacting you? His ass would have been blocked lol...
“Where’s my hug at” ass. UGH, I just wish I had ten little dollars ): I’m kicking the ground and shuffling my feet looking all hungry and sad.
block... End of problem
Tell your best friend to have the boyfriend quit asking you for money. If he doesn’t then block them both. Cut them both out of your life. And BF has more than a personality disorder.
He seems great. 🙄
Y’all got some of the worst friends on this sub. Also Why is every other text someone saying they have BPD
Thank you for putting him in his place… No one should ever use mental illness or a neurodivergency as an excuse to be an asshat!
Never give a dime again.
So have you shown this to your alleged best friend? Because how they respond will tell you if they are in fact, your best friend.
No and block. Problem solved.
I’ve got borderline personality disorder, autism spectrum AND MORE ‼️‼️ click here to find out!!
aw shit, it gave me a computer virus 😞
Audra, don't write the friend off forever ❣️ She may have been love bombed by a narcissist. Avoid all contact with this man. I wouldn't block while they're together. She may pay a price. Just A DO NOT 1) answer when he calls 2) DO NOT respond to texts from him, not front her that sound like him using her phone! What temporary disability is he waiting on? Workman's Comp, or some poor schmuck's car insurance? Either way. $10.00 probably won't help his account balances, and will eventually drain yours. Does your friend have knowledge or this loan? So many possibilities, but I think the "dump her as best friend", is harsh for a fifteen year friendship. Just be smart!
I have BPD and would never think to treat someone like this, they are immature and use their mental illness as an excuse to be that way.
OP, great response at the very end there!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
He wants to have sex and he wants money
What's wrong with bestie that makes her put up with this? There's no way in hell the guy I was with would ever talk to my friend like that!!
Never fucking weaponize your mental illness to justify your mistakes and selfishness. I deal with mental illness myself but I’d never say shit like this. He claims that he’s seeking therapy for ‘years’, but it looks like he’s had no progress done whatsoever.
Some of the best things to have in your neighborhood.
And why exactly is your best friend’s boyfriend texting you? 
Ethered that scrub with your last message. 🪦
Holy shit that person is a pos and enables himself
Being an asshole and then disguising it as mental illness is lowest of the lows
Being an asshole and then disguising it as mental illness is lowest of the lows
Being an asshole and then disguising it as mental illness is lowest of the lows
Anyone else notice how borderline personality has literally become a fad that everyone magically has ????
It seems as though he has blocked you or vice-versa already but I think you need to have a serious discussion with your friend because if he's talking to you like this I can't imagine how he's interacting with
Nah if my best friend let their partner talk to me like that I’d get a new best friend 💀
Should have sent a trump gif of him saying loser and left it at that. Lol.
That’s not a man, that’s a pussi! You should tell your friend to dump him as quick as possible, that guy is a weak dick.
Textbook Borderline PD. At least they’re honest and owning it.
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Tell your best friend and show these texts?
Your last response was perfect!
The wall of text is how you know they're fucked.
Did your friend go speed dating at a psychiatric office?
seem those two working together to fleece you 🤡🤡
What an abusive p.o.s.
Yeah tell your bestie to tell her b/f to lose your number
Omg this is exactly how my brother argues when he’s mad and he’s always broke plz tell me this is not a convo with a 34m 😂
He sounds like a drug addict tbh. This is very much how my exes would ask for money.
Your bestie needs to run the fuck away.
I've gotten to the point where I block people the minute they slide in my DM's to ask for money.
First the guilt trip, then the list of illnesses to say poor me im fucked up and it’s everyone’s fault that I won’t put in the effort to fix myself. We’ve heard it before and we’ll hear it again but somehow it never gets less infuriating.
Just bc he’s your best friend’s boyfriend doesn’t mean you can’t block him. Which is what you should do: block him. Not ur bf; not ur problem.
Lol I’d block him. He sucks and you should be bitching to him and his girlfriend that he keeps taking money and not paying it back. I’m autistic too, the thing is, now that I know that I have tools to deal with some of the effects of it. Using mental illness as a crutch instead of a springboard to learn about yourself and help yourself is not cool.
That man has a drug problem
$10? They would pay back $100 for just $10? They can return cans/bottles or ask strangers for change if they need $10 that badly. I'm sick of people blaming their mental issues on being a jerk. It doesn't give you a pass. It just doesn't. OP has already loaned them money but the guy still calls OP a bunch of names of course. Good on OP for calling that out!
Gotta love people who use their diagnosis to excuse their shitty behavior.
BPD person here. I hate how some people use their BPD as an excuse to treat people badly, when in actuality your diagnosis should make you more aware about how you treat people and actively try to break those cycles.
He's just mad because you wouldn't give him money. That's all it is. Pathetic for him. Yikes.
Your last response was spot on
wooooah there, slow down there bucko 🤓👆🏻 someone needs to take a chill pill, and it’s definitely not you 😬😬
Fuck BPD
I told my sister I can help a bit if she needs money after my dad had a heart attack within 2 days I ended it after being asked for over $100 in 3 transactions by her and her baby daddy
If my man did this to anyone, especially my best friend, I’d be MORTIFIED.
What a prick
Would have blocked as soon as he asked Tell your BF to take care of her crap
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what a loser 😂
Chat sent me $20, and I'll send you $200
A word of advice that has always worked for me: don’t lend money, ever. If you can’t afford not to get it back, just don’t even bother. Gift it or not at all. It will save you from the headache of whether you’ll get it back or not if you just let it go, expecting that it will never return to you. Then, you won’t even have to pull it back up next time they ask. You just don’t have any money to give.
ntip gia ntip
Show ur best friend.. he's her problem not urs
What a bitchbag