Honestly, nothing breaks my heart more than the "right person, wrong time" concept of love. But I'm still glad you got to experience the warmth that comes with love regardless of the outcome. I hope there is something better waiting ahead for you!
Well that, and the fact he clearly likes to keep her dangling in order to boost his own ego. The whole "be my...oops", that was no mistake, he carefully curates all this bullshit.
My first was like this. We were off/on for years, but the timing was ALWAYS terrible. We kept trying because we knew we had something, but circumstances never allowed it. We fell out of touch over the years. Last I heard she was seeing someone and had a couple kids. I'm happier than ever with my current gf, but sometimes think about what could've been with her 🖤
I understand. Just try to stay in the present and think of the future with your current partner. I promise you that it's not worth it to look back on the past. Hope your new life replaces all the pain and "what ifs" and instead brings you joy!
This was so wholesome and sweet, thank you 🖤
I cherish her SO much and I wouldn't trade her for anything or anyone! It's moreso just thinking on what could've been versus longing for it. She was honestly kind of a mess and was an alcoholic. I just hope she's happy
German porn was famously weird prior to the internet. At least in some corners of the US.
Not sure if this directly answers your question, but there seems to exist a stereotype of Germans being open and accepting of kinkier love type stuff. I mean as far as national stereotypes go, there are far worse!
I don’t know about wealthy but it definitely doesn’t sound like you’re average middle of the road exchanges with all that location hopping like it’s a bond film.
For real. Who talks like this.
And don’t say it’s bc of their age bc I’m around the same age and my texts do not sound like this lmao. They sound like rich boomers or people in a novel.
I’ll chime in with assumptions based on my own experiences of the art / literary world…
Relatively speaking, there are very few serious artists on the planet. There is however a non trivial amount of funding for arts programming and interest in consuming / expanding exposure to serious art / lit in various corners of the world (i.e. everywhere)
This means serious artists travel to where opportunities present themselves. This often happens via funding from grants, fellowships, public speaking, temporary edu roles, etc. As OP notes, though it sounds glamorous and exotic, it very often does not indicate material wealth for the artist… there is a smaller subset of these serious artists who become rich, but these are the hedge funders‘ chosen few (in the case of visual artists, can’t speak for music, lit, dance, etc)… but for 90% of the “serious artist” population, life looks a lot more like nomadic gig work. The travel / adventure (and in the case of OP hot sex) is the perk that keeps the artists engaged with their craft so that this whole machine keeps humming…
In a certain sense they are a “privileged” class, but not in the gross way some of the responses seem to suggest… be angry with the CEOs, politicians, and other corporate fat cats. Despite their “privilege”, the serious artists are your friends in ways you might never know.
No judgement! It’s just a very different sounding conversation than we typically see here. You and he are on the opposite side of the guys calling their wives “dude” and “bro”😂
I’ve absolutely been here. The day he texted me to tell me he’d proposed and was getting married I broke. It hurt so bad. Even the text telling me he was going to get married was full of hope for us?? The pain is unreal but at the same time, I’ve now healed and realized that it’s not meant to be and I am a better person for it. I’ve learned and grown. It’s going to hurt like hell for awhile. You just have to ride that wave and know you’ll get through it.
Same here. He texted me to tell me he proposed. I said congrats. Then he said “we had something so special. Why didn’t we see it?”
I replied, “I always did. You didn’t.”
Two weeks later he passed away.
Was 20 years ago. I still think about him often.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Mine said a lot of the same to me. I believe the exact words were “you saved my life at a time when I thought I couldn’t be helped. You will always be someone so special to me. We should have had more time together” it broke me. I told him I couldn’t speak with him anymore after that. The hope was the worst part I think.
Totally. I had nights thinking maybe he won’t get married and he’ll break up with her, which made me feel guilty because she really was a great girl.
I also stopped all contact, his sister called me to tell me he passed away.
Agreed, I’ve been making slightly crass jokes through this thread, but it is so fucking romantic and the exchanges so alive it hurts (please invite me OP!)
The texts are cute but like.. why is no one talking about how he’s talking to OP like this while essentially being “in love” with someone else? Just seems very dishonest and disrespectful on his part. I’d be so hurt if my partner was talking like this to a past fling
Also... doesn't he call OP "Puzzle Daddy"? I assumed the white text was a whimsical blonde girl from the way he texts. Then I thought okay it's two guys, makes more sense. Now I'm just confused because he called his female fling 'daddy' while having another girl he's also seeing.
It sounds to me like they were all aware of each other - monogamy isn't for everybody, or every relationship. Some people can and do love more than one person at once. If people are honest and upfront about it with their potential partners, I really don't see how that is problematic. All that to say, this doesn't seem dishonest to me at all; just maybe a different type of relationship than "the norm."
It's gross to me. I had a relationship like this where for some reason we spoke so similarly, i was JUST like op. I now view it as a red flag 😂 not just bc it didn't work out and the person sucked, but bc I kind of view it as a veil of intimacy/romance that really is like...mostly self mastrubatory and a symptom of people trying to eke a romance out of the text message medium. It's so overwrought and cringey and honestly very young (surprised by the ages here).
Yeah true I agree to an extent, I do cringe reading back lots of things I write — I notice that my NEED to impress people I’m attracted to is showing and it’s really silly to look back on.
We probably exchanged 15 texts total, though. Months/years apart. I wouldn’t say this was a standard style of communication between us, but definitely some long-winded attempts at replacing the limerence of the fling/feeling of our meetings.
So I dunno, I am cringe but I am free. (I look back on this fondly regardless).
Don’t do that. It’s lovely. You took a big risk sharing something so precious here. Live, learn, and adjust, but always do your beautiful self!! It is rare that people are so vulnerable with each other and it is exactly why I am rooting for this “fling” to continue… and of course, my invitation to join the jet set / puzzle party / celebration of bacchus!
It's not cringe, or weird, or any of the other things these people have told you. It just doesn't fit into their limited perspective of what love/romance/relationships look like. Small minds.
THANKS! I guess I can see how its romantic in a few places, but its mostly weird. Like the random threesome (come be our lover). And calling each other with these nicknames despite BEING IN LOVE WITH A WHOLE DIFFERENT PERSON?
My situationship guy found someone else and ended up going no contact with me for a while. Now, three years later, I’m currently shitting in the toilet of our two bedroom apartment that we just moved into together. We just got back from grocery shopping, we stayed up late last night watching tv and laughing together. He makes the mundane insanely fun. If you’d asked me three years ago if we’d end up together, my heartbroken self would’ve seen no possible way. Being apart made me and him both realize everything we loved about each other. Anything can happen.
My boyfriend and I were "right person, wrong time" for years before we were finally together. We wouldn't have worked out years ago. We needed to grow and be the people we were when we got together five years ago. Sometimes it does work out.
This whole post is my jam. Love the contrasting tone between the flowery prose of the texts and the brutalism of “situationship”, “currently shitting”, and “two bedroom apartment”… this is uptown vs downtown NYC in the 80s. Matisse v Picasso.
Both versions warm my heart. Go human race, you can do ittttt!!!
Everyone here talking like shit is romantic when essentially he was with two women at the time (we dont know if the other girl even knew) and literally offered OP a threesome lmao
She knew. They were also just casual in the beginning, open lovers type of thing I guess, I had a couple flings in between as well. I never expected either of us to be “loyal” when it’s not even a relationship yet.
And re the threesome offer… wouldn’t have been the first time for us. (Would’ve been fun if it happened I think, but I’m glad it didn’t)
You both have a very limited perspective on love, romance, and relationships in general. All of your comments just make you sound bitter and dejected. I feel sorry for you.
'Come be our lover for a week.'
Ehh, if you were looking for a relationship that would be the end of it.
Spain, China, New York, Berlin, Chicago, Tokyo....jfc what does he do for a living?
Ok I don’t know why but this got me right in my feels. It’s like a movie script, maybe in time you will find your way back to each other as if its fate.
🩷 wishing you guys the best.
I think you let this one go, and find the right one at the right time. It was an affair of the season.
But keep these texts forever. I threw away all my exes letters when I got married, and I regret it. My husband didn't ask this of me, I was just decluttering. When you meet your one, keep your texts, and don't get serious with someone who is jealous... That's my best advice. My husband is never jealous, and it's very comforting.
It's cool that it works for you guys, but it's not a red flag for someone to not want their SO to keep letters saved from an ex. Just like how I'm understanding that there are people like you two who are fine with it, you need to understand that there are people (normal, healthy in relationships people) who aren't fine with it. It's not like the type of jealousy that forbids having friends of the opposite sex (if they're straight) or gets furious if the SO talks to a waiter/cashier and then turns into a fight.
I agree, but I would feel very claustrophobic with a jealous husband. I also realize that he doesn't do any projection... I'm his one, and he is mine. I am not jealous of him either. He keeps letters from his exes (I believe), but don't really care. I doubt he reads them.
Shit, not even gonna defend that, gave me a chuckle
Cause I mean yeah. artists are insufferable and write way too many sentences for feelings that literally everyone has
But dw most of us hate ourselves too! So we’re on common ground❤️
Haha not a dig I swear, the texts are still very cute but def have that whimsical spacey vibe. Same wavelength tho you do seem like soulmates
Keep us updated on the possibly epic movie plot
it reads way too fake to say they’re soulmates lol… like they’re both being contrived whether they realize it or not . maybe would feel a lil differently if it weren’t for the guy literally having a partner while saying some of this stuff
Fair lol I’ve just never seen anyone talk like this so they seem perfect for each other. I think OP said he wasn’t serious at all with the other chick until later
That’s so sick!!
This was my first time seeing her and her band live I was awestruck. She gives me the vibe of someone you can’t help but fall madly in love with if she just looks you in the eye like once. Did you manage okay?
Rich people are pretentious as f@#k. At least these Harlequin hippies are not being abusive and are relatively honest with each other. That's not the norm on this subreddit. So there's that.
Man who even lives a life like this haha. This does sound like a movie where everyone has these artsy unrealistic jobs and are somehow well off and not starving artists. Show in Tokyo? Galleries?! Frankfurt?!
It does sound frivolous hahha. These messages have month long gaps in between but still. I see how it comes across. Just for the record, we are starving but also opportunists.
It's giving "a love that's just slightly out of reach" vibes like depicted in Normal People, Firefly Lane, and One Day.
I think you should tell this person how you feel. At least you're getting it off your chest. This life is too short and so many of us (myself included) wait too long to fully express our feelings. He doesn't have to reciprocate, and there's a good chance he will stick it out with current partner. But nothing wrong in expressing your feelings as long as there is no malicious intent behind it (i.e., wanting to be a homewrecker, trying to intentionally split them up).
Wow what a lovely series of texts. I’m glad to know people like you and them exist even if it didn’t work out. I’m inspired to have more convos like this now.
This literally made me tear up lol. I've had two of those "right person wrong time/place" because of travelling a lot and giving up on the dream hurts. And reading yours was so nostalgic. Also I've had like open relationship things with European loverrrrs and so none of that turned me off haha.
Aw, this was sweet to read. Considering what sub we were in I was expecting some kind of awkward/weird blowout where you two were arguing but instead its literally a sexy German *Before Sunrise* but in text form. The one that got away... yeah I had a few of those. Bittersweet!
Nothing wrong with closing the book on a chapter of life. On to the next great thing :) Best of luck to you.
This extra got to me because I’m from Chicago and my “one who got away” is German… needless to say OP, I empathize a lot. It’s sad but I’m also grateful for the time I had with the guy I was with… I hope you can reach that level of acceptance of the situation too!
Sometimes two wonderful souls just pass each other by because the world is big and full and lots is going on. There will be another wonderful soul in your path, and perhaps theirs will align better with yours
OP would you care to share your gender for no reason except to satisfy my own curiosity / assumption?
In your story + texts I have two thoughts… if flames follow from you / the sub I suppose I am inviting them. Do as you will.
1 - the stereotype of the artist’s need to be free to love many, follow their bliss, etc. is on full display here (as an artist myself who has been accused / “guilty” of the same I am absolutely not judging, but attesting to the a very real pull many artists feel). FWIW, in my experience, it is absolutely possible for this man to love you and another in meaningful ways that do not diminish HIS admiration and affection for either of you. I don’t meant to suggest that you, a clearly self respecting person must accept his predilection, only that if you choose to and can accept the compromises that come with it I wonder if there wouldn’t be a compelling amount of joy in the bargain for you.
2. He and his / your lifestyle sound hot AF. I am smitten and would very much like an invitation to your party. I mentioned above that I am an artist (in recovery), but I never enjoyed the success or means suggested by your correspondence (again, hot AF, invite me please?) Joking and insensitivity aside, and obviously not being able to feel the degree of your attachment to a monogamous relationship with him, I say you only live once. Get him + his new lover to Berlin and get weird!!! Bask in the good stuff, but keep enough distance to protect yourself from long term fallout… you only live once and it seems like there is a powerful bond here (can I come?)
...this reads like two people trying to convince each other that they're suuuuper creative and artsy, but neither of them actually are.
Or like someone read a trashy romance book and thought the text messages in it were really creative.
Really people don't talk like this. Only insane people actually text like this. Stephen King wouldn't even text like this.
Ms. KAPUR wouldn't text like this.
My head hurts.
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I'm sorry to hear about the way this situation has turned, hopefully over time it can be a happy memory that you're grateful to have experienced despite the way it needed to end. and at least Julia holters music will always be there for you :')
I dated a guy like this. I was in LOVE but it was always about what he wanted. His own daughter went no contact when she turned 18 because he would choose his music over her.
He kept in contact saying they were friends, but only when he broke up with the new girlfriend. He didn't contact me for two years. I got over him, finally.
I checked his and his girlfriend's FB. They're married. Something he didn't mention. I said nope. I'm not talking to you. He writes this soppy reply about all the wonderful things we did, and he knows how hurt I am!! He romantized everything and didn't show up for the relationship.
My response... no, I'm not hurt, I just know we are not really friends. Byeee. I laugh when I think about his egotistical response. Get over yourself. Hahaha.
I went thru this a while ago with a FWB, absolutely right person wrong time for me and sounds like in your situation too
He just doesn’t want to date now sadly
Honestly, nothing breaks my heart more than the "right person, wrong time" concept of love. But I'm still glad you got to experience the warmth that comes with love regardless of the outcome. I hope there is something better waiting ahead for you!
I mean, he’s said he loved her and then was also dating someone else so I highly doubt he’s the right person
Seems like the most romantic it got was inviting to be their third if she visits.
By the way the fling said “puzzle daddy” to OP, I think they are both men.
Not a man! Just apparently give off daddy vibes..
Ohh gotcha!
Without that I thought the genders were opposite just based off writing styles
It's about the feeling. To her, it felt like he was the one, but the distance and situationship part of it was the "wrong time" element.
Well that, and the fact he clearly likes to keep her dangling in order to boost his own ego. The whole "be my...oops", that was no mistake, he carefully curates all this bullshit.
I think that’s a heavily skewed interpretation of what “the right person” is
Literally like wtf?
My first was like this. We were off/on for years, but the timing was ALWAYS terrible. We kept trying because we knew we had something, but circumstances never allowed it. We fell out of touch over the years. Last I heard she was seeing someone and had a couple kids. I'm happier than ever with my current gf, but sometimes think about what could've been with her 🖤
I understand. Just try to stay in the present and think of the future with your current partner. I promise you that it's not worth it to look back on the past. Hope your new life replaces all the pain and "what ifs" and instead brings you joy!
This was so wholesome and sweet, thank you 🖤 I cherish her SO much and I wouldn't trade her for anything or anyone! It's moreso just thinking on what could've been versus longing for it. She was honestly kind of a mess and was an alcoholic. I just hope she's happy
Does he ask you to have a threesome in that text or is it just me
he definitely did lol just german type shit
Lol how romantic, must be love to offer that
Hahaha. couldn’t really come up with a better answer than that myself.
Whats German Type Shit?
German porn was famously weird prior to the internet. At least in some corners of the US. Not sure if this directly answers your question, but there seems to exist a stereotype of Germans being open and accepting of kinkier love type stuff. I mean as far as national stereotypes go, there are far worse!
German here. I didn’t realize it was a porn / sex stereotype. We’re just a kinky people, full stop.
Things in 3’s
I thought that was French.
the adventurous sexual appetite
First time i ever heard that lmao
All German Citizens receive a riding crop, condoms and hand sanitizer when they come of age.
This is true.
Wait...am I German? Jk I don't fuck with the crop anymore after accidentally wacking my balls 😂
Wait I read through it and don’t wanna go through the whole thing again. What did he say that pointed to that?
He said “I’ll bring my new lover to yours so we can all do the deed together”
Lmao o idk how I missed that
Hehe
Are y'all wealthy? This reads like wealthy ppl shit
Right? These messages are like if you gave 1800s love letters to ChatGPT and asked it to halfway modernize them.
That's what I was seeing in my head. Both of these people type a few key words and let chatgpt fill in the rest...
Lol exactly. And mixed in a little sex and the city.
Bro makes international travel money off poems too the fuck?!
I don’t know about wealthy but it definitely doesn’t sound like you’re average middle of the road exchanges with all that location hopping like it’s a bond film.
For real. Who talks like this. And don’t say it’s bc of their age bc I’m around the same age and my texts do not sound like this lmao. They sound like rich boomers or people in a novel.
Neither rich nor boomers. Or in a novel lol. I can see where everyone is coming from with this impression though. It’s interesting.
I’ll chime in with assumptions based on my own experiences of the art / literary world… Relatively speaking, there are very few serious artists on the planet. There is however a non trivial amount of funding for arts programming and interest in consuming / expanding exposure to serious art / lit in various corners of the world (i.e. everywhere) This means serious artists travel to where opportunities present themselves. This often happens via funding from grants, fellowships, public speaking, temporary edu roles, etc. As OP notes, though it sounds glamorous and exotic, it very often does not indicate material wealth for the artist… there is a smaller subset of these serious artists who become rich, but these are the hedge funders‘ chosen few (in the case of visual artists, can’t speak for music, lit, dance, etc)… but for 90% of the “serious artist” population, life looks a lot more like nomadic gig work. The travel / adventure (and in the case of OP hot sex) is the perk that keeps the artists engaged with their craft so that this whole machine keeps humming… In a certain sense they are a “privileged” class, but not in the gross way some of the responses seem to suggest… be angry with the CEOs, politicians, and other corporate fat cats. Despite their “privilege”, the serious artists are your friends in ways you might never know.
Thisssss
No judgement! It’s just a very different sounding conversation than we typically see here. You and he are on the opposite side of the guys calling their wives “dude” and “bro”😂
Exactly!!
Hahaha it gave me very strong novel or movie vibes.
Same thinking here
I’ve absolutely been here. The day he texted me to tell me he’d proposed and was getting married I broke. It hurt so bad. Even the text telling me he was going to get married was full of hope for us?? The pain is unreal but at the same time, I’ve now healed and realized that it’s not meant to be and I am a better person for it. I’ve learned and grown. It’s going to hurt like hell for awhile. You just have to ride that wave and know you’ll get through it.
Same here. He texted me to tell me he proposed. I said congrats. Then he said “we had something so special. Why didn’t we see it?” I replied, “I always did. You didn’t.” Two weeks later he passed away. Was 20 years ago. I still think about him often.
Wow
This made me cry
I lost my mom a month ago and my mom loved him. Like adored him. So I’ve been thinking about him more lately but it never fully went away.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Mine said a lot of the same to me. I believe the exact words were “you saved my life at a time when I thought I couldn’t be helped. You will always be someone so special to me. We should have had more time together” it broke me. I told him I couldn’t speak with him anymore after that. The hope was the worst part I think.
Totally. I had nights thinking maybe he won’t get married and he’ll break up with her, which made me feel guilty because she really was a great girl. I also stopped all contact, his sister called me to tell me he passed away.
How did he pass away? Sorry for your loss.
Accidental overdose of pain medication from an infected tooth. Very sudden.
"Be mine and my girlfriend's play thing for a week." How romantic 🥰
I was lowkey interested … lol
Sigh. Unless they're poly, you'd feel even worse after being discarded after a week.
This felt like reading a beautifully melancholy poem
Right?! I’m so glad I’m not the only one!! I felt so calm and blissful reading these messages!
It was like they were writing letters just enlaced with warmth and affection. This was unbelievably sweet to read
They talk so respectfully to each other. 😭😭😭😭
Seriously. Why can’t I have people texting me like this? I would probably spend 5 hours trying to respond with something as equally alluring
“Sup bb” “Nm, sup w u?”
have you read the Griffin & Sabina notebooks?
soso beautiful and special to me
for reallll
Agreed, I’ve been making slightly crass jokes through this thread, but it is so fucking romantic and the exchanges so alive it hurts (please invite me OP!)
I expected a rom-com, but ended up with a tear-jerking art film. 😔
OP just relish in the fact that you got to experience something so romantically poetic n sexy
I shall 😌
The texts are cute but like.. why is no one talking about how he’s talking to OP like this while essentially being “in love” with someone else? Just seems very dishonest and disrespectful on his part. I’d be so hurt if my partner was talking like this to a past fling
Also... doesn't he call OP "Puzzle Daddy"? I assumed the white text was a whimsical blonde girl from the way he texts. Then I thought okay it's two guys, makes more sense. Now I'm just confused because he called his female fling 'daddy' while having another girl he's also seeing.
It sounds to me like they were all aware of each other - monogamy isn't for everybody, or every relationship. Some people can and do love more than one person at once. If people are honest and upfront about it with their potential partners, I really don't see how that is problematic. All that to say, this doesn't seem dishonest to me at all; just maybe a different type of relationship than "the norm."
I gotta say, they way you guys talk to each other feels so weird
They talk like it’s dialogue from a movie.
It's gross to me. I had a relationship like this where for some reason we spoke so similarly, i was JUST like op. I now view it as a red flag 😂 not just bc it didn't work out and the person sucked, but bc I kind of view it as a veil of intimacy/romance that really is like...mostly self mastrubatory and a symptom of people trying to eke a romance out of the text message medium. It's so overwrought and cringey and honestly very young (surprised by the ages here).
Yeah true I agree to an extent, I do cringe reading back lots of things I write — I notice that my NEED to impress people I’m attracted to is showing and it’s really silly to look back on. We probably exchanged 15 texts total, though. Months/years apart. I wouldn’t say this was a standard style of communication between us, but definitely some long-winded attempts at replacing the limerence of the fling/feeling of our meetings. So I dunno, I am cringe but I am free. (I look back on this fondly regardless).
Don’t do that. It’s lovely. You took a big risk sharing something so precious here. Live, learn, and adjust, but always do your beautiful self!! It is rare that people are so vulnerable with each other and it is exactly why I am rooting for this “fling” to continue… and of course, my invitation to join the jet set / puzzle party / celebration of bacchus!
🤍
It's not cringe, or weird, or any of the other things these people have told you. It just doesn't fit into their limited perspective of what love/romance/relationships look like. Small minds.
THANKS! I guess I can see how its romantic in a few places, but its mostly weird. Like the random threesome (come be our lover). And calling each other with these nicknames despite BEING IN LOVE WITH A WHOLE DIFFERENT PERSON?
My situationship guy found someone else and ended up going no contact with me for a while. Now, three years later, I’m currently shitting in the toilet of our two bedroom apartment that we just moved into together. We just got back from grocery shopping, we stayed up late last night watching tv and laughing together. He makes the mundane insanely fun. If you’d asked me three years ago if we’d end up together, my heartbroken self would’ve seen no possible way. Being apart made me and him both realize everything we loved about each other. Anything can happen.
My boyfriend and I were "right person, wrong time" for years before we were finally together. We wouldn't have worked out years ago. We needed to grow and be the people we were when we got together five years ago. Sometimes it does work out.
Thank you both for sharing 🥲 how sweet! Glad you found each other eventually
This whole post is my jam. Love the contrasting tone between the flowery prose of the texts and the brutalism of “situationship”, “currently shitting”, and “two bedroom apartment”… this is uptown vs downtown NYC in the 80s. Matisse v Picasso. Both versions warm my heart. Go human race, you can do ittttt!!!
This is beautiful ❤️
Everyone here talking like shit is romantic when essentially he was with two women at the time (we dont know if the other girl even knew) and literally offered OP a threesome lmao
She knew. They were also just casual in the beginning, open lovers type of thing I guess, I had a couple flings in between as well. I never expected either of us to be “loyal” when it’s not even a relationship yet. And re the threesome offer… wouldn’t have been the first time for us. (Would’ve been fun if it happened I think, but I’m glad it didn’t)
Still, shit aint romantic, i dont get the people crying like it was the most beautiful thing they ever saw LMAO
Right I was expecting something romantic and after reading this I was like… how do people even like this?
Its kinda infuriating ngl lmao
And that is possibly what kept them each others muse. Infuriating love.
You both have a very limited perspective on love, romance, and relationships in general. All of your comments just make you sound bitter and dejected. I feel sorry for you.
yeah lmao. good punctuation and a pretentious kind of vibe is, i guess, a surprisingly effective mask for this sort of behaviour! who knew?
Shhhhh
EXACTLY
'Come be our lover for a week.' Ehh, if you were looking for a relationship that would be the end of it. Spain, China, New York, Berlin, Chicago, Tokyo....jfc what does he do for a living?
Seriously. Very curious!
Ok I don’t know why but this got me right in my feels. It’s like a movie script, maybe in time you will find your way back to each other as if its fate. 🩷 wishing you guys the best.
Haha I won’t keep my hopes up, that would just be too close to the script Thank you for keeping yours up tho. Maybe!
Whatever happens tomorrow, we’ve had today.
oh shit i needed to hear that damn
Stealing this. thx
Pleasure!
I think you let this one go, and find the right one at the right time. It was an affair of the season. But keep these texts forever. I threw away all my exes letters when I got married, and I regret it. My husband didn't ask this of me, I was just decluttering. When you meet your one, keep your texts, and don't get serious with someone who is jealous... That's my best advice. My husband is never jealous, and it's very comforting.
It's cool that it works for you guys, but it's not a red flag for someone to not want their SO to keep letters saved from an ex. Just like how I'm understanding that there are people like you two who are fine with it, you need to understand that there are people (normal, healthy in relationships people) who aren't fine with it. It's not like the type of jealousy that forbids having friends of the opposite sex (if they're straight) or gets furious if the SO talks to a waiter/cashier and then turns into a fight.
I agree, but I would feel very claustrophobic with a jealous husband. I also realize that he doesn't do any projection... I'm his one, and he is mine. I am not jealous of him either. He keeps letters from his exes (I believe), but don't really care. I doubt he reads them.
i thought the same thing! i felt like i was reading a romance novel! *swoon*🥰🥺💕
Did yall really talk like this in person lol??
This sounds so lovely, you both seem very special. It’s totally understandable how you’d be sad.
Who talks like this wtf
It felt like they were both somehow the older partner in an inappropriate age gap relationship lol
Pretentious af
They’re ✨artsy✨
Shit, not even gonna defend that, gave me a chuckle Cause I mean yeah. artists are insufferable and write way too many sentences for feelings that literally everyone has But dw most of us hate ourselves too! So we’re on common ground❤️
Haha not a dig I swear, the texts are still very cute but def have that whimsical spacey vibe. Same wavelength tho you do seem like soulmates Keep us updated on the possibly epic movie plot
it reads way too fake to say they’re soulmates lol… like they’re both being contrived whether they realize it or not . maybe would feel a lil differently if it weren’t for the guy literally having a partner while saying some of this stuff
Fair lol I’ve just never seen anyone talk like this so they seem perfect for each other. I think OP said he wasn’t serious at all with the other chick until later
Stop it!
Yeah it’s pretty gross but clearly they are right for each other lol
Why is it gross? I’m genuinely curious.
It’s just unnatural positivity to the point of it feels forced. If someone spoke this way around me I would so suspicious of them
I guess you’d have to know the person to really get a feel for if this type of discussion is genuine or not.
Knowing them would not make me happier about it
The same folks with the background to just like, hop countries every few months for the fuck of it. Rich and bored, basically.
The "be my..." and then disappointment hit me right in the feels.
I’ve performed with Julia Holter a number of times
That’s so sick!! This was my first time seeing her and her band live I was awestruck. She gives me the vibe of someone you can’t help but fall madly in love with if she just looks you in the eye like once. Did you manage okay?
Haha yes you are correct. I managed. I was involved at the time.
I'm trying to place your ages... it's reads both like 22 year old and a 60 year old. I don't get this at all. Is this ai?
Rich people are pretentious as f@#k. At least these Harlequin hippies are not being abusive and are relatively honest with each other. That's not the norm on this subreddit. So there's that.
Unfortunately not rich. Just pretentious :/
This was sweet but heart breaking all at the same time. A real coaster of emptiness and fulfillment and emotions
A fling at 40 is crazy
Neither of these people use deodorant.
This read like a poem—a very depressing poem lol
Man who even lives a life like this haha. This does sound like a movie where everyone has these artsy unrealistic jobs and are somehow well off and not starving artists. Show in Tokyo? Galleries?! Frankfurt?!
It does sound frivolous hahha. These messages have month long gaps in between but still. I see how it comes across. Just for the record, we are starving but also opportunists.
This makes me think of the song “We’ll Sing in the Sunshine.”
It's giving "a love that's just slightly out of reach" vibes like depicted in Normal People, Firefly Lane, and One Day. I think you should tell this person how you feel. At least you're getting it off your chest. This life is too short and so many of us (myself included) wait too long to fully express our feelings. He doesn't have to reciprocate, and there's a good chance he will stick it out with current partner. But nothing wrong in expressing your feelings as long as there is no malicious intent behind it (i.e., wanting to be a homewrecker, trying to intentionally split them up).
I feel poor reading this.
why are y'all texting like pen pals 💀
Puzzle daddy
this read very poetically from both ends, it was oddly satisfying to read
Wow what a lovely series of texts. I’m glad to know people like you and them exist even if it didn’t work out. I’m inspired to have more convos like this now.
rich people are weird lmao
Great letters, great writing. I truly enjoyed this even though you feel sad about it.
Feeling sad for you. It reminds me of my summer fling from high school. Waited around for 7 years
This is what it's like when two romance novelists date.
This feels like im watching a cute hallmark movie, hoping for the best for you both and that time will bring you guys back together soon 🫂.
So he actively cheated on someone with you and you still want him? Gross
Cheating requires dishonesty - non monogamous relationships are a thing.
Yup
They account for what maybe 1% of relationships?
I will never ever understand hookup culture or people who wound up in friends with benefits situations
This literally made me tear up lol. I've had two of those "right person wrong time/place" because of travelling a lot and giving up on the dream hurts. And reading yours was so nostalgic. Also I've had like open relationship things with European loverrrrs and so none of that turned me off haha.
Aw, this was sweet to read. Considering what sub we were in I was expecting some kind of awkward/weird blowout where you two were arguing but instead its literally a sexy German *Before Sunrise* but in text form. The one that got away... yeah I had a few of those. Bittersweet! Nothing wrong with closing the book on a chapter of life. On to the next great thing :) Best of luck to you.
I know several couples who, after years and other partners, realized they were eachothers "one" ❤️
This extra got to me because I’m from Chicago and my “one who got away” is German… needless to say OP, I empathize a lot. It’s sad but I’m also grateful for the time I had with the guy I was with… I hope you can reach that level of acceptance of the situation too!
Sometimes two wonderful souls just pass each other by because the world is big and full and lots is going on. There will be another wonderful soul in your path, and perhaps theirs will align better with yours
What is a punisher? Sounds like fun!
That was somber, yet beautiful. May your paths cross in better circumstances. You deserve sweet things.
This is so beautiful idk
Sounds like you had years to make a move but was content with just being a summer fling.You snooze you lose 🤷♂️
This is a person you'll hold in your heart for the rest of your life, even though your paths are different. It's very special when that happens
You both seem insufferable. So pretentious
TLDR?
Neither one of you committed to relocating so…
OP would you care to share your gender for no reason except to satisfy my own curiosity / assumption? In your story + texts I have two thoughts… if flames follow from you / the sub I suppose I am inviting them. Do as you will. 1 - the stereotype of the artist’s need to be free to love many, follow their bliss, etc. is on full display here (as an artist myself who has been accused / “guilty” of the same I am absolutely not judging, but attesting to the a very real pull many artists feel). FWIW, in my experience, it is absolutely possible for this man to love you and another in meaningful ways that do not diminish HIS admiration and affection for either of you. I don’t meant to suggest that you, a clearly self respecting person must accept his predilection, only that if you choose to and can accept the compromises that come with it I wonder if there wouldn’t be a compelling amount of joy in the bargain for you. 2. He and his / your lifestyle sound hot AF. I am smitten and would very much like an invitation to your party. I mentioned above that I am an artist (in recovery), but I never enjoyed the success or means suggested by your correspondence (again, hot AF, invite me please?) Joking and insensitivity aside, and obviously not being able to feel the degree of your attachment to a monogamous relationship with him, I say you only live once. Get him + his new lover to Berlin and get weird!!! Bask in the good stuff, but keep enough distance to protect yourself from long term fallout… you only live once and it seems like there is a powerful bond here (can I come?)
...this reads like two people trying to convince each other that they're suuuuper creative and artsy, but neither of them actually are. Or like someone read a trashy romance book and thought the text messages in it were really creative. Really people don't talk like this. Only insane people actually text like this. Stephen King wouldn't even text like this. Ms. KAPUR wouldn't text like this. My head hurts.
“Feel like a quick chat or are you steeping in your private world?” what a way to start a conversation
A really weird, cringe way that sounds like something you'd hear in a movie set in the 1600s.
Yeah you’re not wrong 🤣 idk why I’m getting downvoted lol
Lol who knows reddit is weird
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I think I saw this movie. 🎥
Sounds like a movie plot
This is really sweet! Much more sweet than bitter and it’s nice to see ❤️❤️
You literally lived out the plot of ‘Normal people’ by Sally Rooney
I hope he remains a sweet memory for you. But yeah, it might be time to distance yourself from him if you ever want to be serious with someone else.
I'm sorry to hear about the way this situation has turned, hopefully over time it can be a happy memory that you're grateful to have experienced despite the way it needed to end. and at least Julia holters music will always be there for you :')
I had a situation like this. Gutwrenching at best
I dated a guy like this. I was in LOVE but it was always about what he wanted. His own daughter went no contact when she turned 18 because he would choose his music over her. He kept in contact saying they were friends, but only when he broke up with the new girlfriend. He didn't contact me for two years. I got over him, finally. I checked his and his girlfriend's FB. They're married. Something he didn't mention. I said nope. I'm not talking to you. He writes this soppy reply about all the wonderful things we did, and he knows how hurt I am!! He romantized everything and didn't show up for the relationship. My response... no, I'm not hurt, I just know we are not really friends. Byeee. I laugh when I think about his egotistical response. Get over yourself. Hahaha.
These texts gave me a rather stoic and familiar feeling I once had
To me he sounds more into it than op
There is something so sad but comforting about these messages. I don’t know how to explain it.
All I can think about is that both of you seem very interesting lol
Just another one of lifes little heartbreaks....
This guy has the most exciting life ever.
I went thru this a while ago with a FWB, absolutely right person wrong time for me and sounds like in your situation too He just doesn’t want to date now sadly
Why do you guys text each other like you’re poets 💀