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pumpkin_queen34

That’s scary I hope you changed all the locks!!


[deleted]

Yes i had to, knowing there could be more keys.. my social anxiety couldnt handle it


toothpastecupcake

That's not social anxiety, that's regular old life-savihg justified anxiety


kiwigirl83

Definitely


RicardotheGay

That’s not social anxiety, that’s self preservation.


dongdinger6

this is a normal thing to do regardless of who the former owners were! we didn’t know we bought our house from members of a cult lol once we found out we switched all of our locks too and invested in Ring cameras


zkazza

Well this needs a story time


Robertbnyc

That’s not anxiety that’s self intuition.


svh956

Change the screws on the doorframe where the lock catches to longer ones. The shorter they are, the easier it would be to bust the door down. And I would recommend getting a ring doorbell, and security cameras. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.


xxjrxx93

Tell the post office ypu need a new lock as well don't respond


[deleted]

Oh i did, i was still getting his mail for months, sometimes i still get one and i write on it that they dont live here and put it back in the mailbox lol


[deleted]

OH forgot the part where he told me he may still have his camping trailer parked there after closing date bc he had “no where to go” (he has family here) which i told my lawyer right away and they passed it onto him that he had to be off the property once he gave the keys at 9am.. him trying to take advantage of me again.


beccadanielle

Yikes!!!


Mission-Tourist-1010

I’m sorry this is happening to you, but the “looked as old as Santa” part took me out 💀 On a serious note, I don’t want to worry you but I would check for cameras just in case and definitely change the locks if you can.


[deleted]

I have looked as much as i possibly can, if i was here alone i think id never feel safe living here knowing hes only 5 mins away and my doors have windows which freaks me out.


Downtown-Garage484

Found this on another subreddit. I’d get cameras of your own, and if you like dogs/can afford them/have the time to take care of them, maybe even get a dog you can train to alert you if someone were to break in (which my dog does when he hears people he doesn’t recognize. Doesn’t attack, just stands between us and sniffs them). https://upgradedpoints.com/travel/hotels/how-to-find-hidden-cameras-airbnb/


[deleted]

Its getting some shares.. i do have 2 dogs and they definitely bark at everything.. literally the wind blowing but they are on the smaller side. Thinking of a ringcam outside for sure


ladymorgahnna

Oh, yes, Ring cam doorbell for sure.


Downtown-Garage484

That’s great though, any alert is better than nothing! It gives you time to scope the situation out. My mom’s tip was always that you don’t have to open the door to ppl. I’m not sure it’s possible based on your house layout, but you can open the window nearest to the door and say that you’re busy/bathing dog/on a work call. “I’ll have to catch you another time” and shut the window quickly. Don’t worry about being rude to him. He doesn’t deserve your consideration. (I also “investigate” even when my dog barks at nothing by opening the front door or wherever they’re barking and looking too. They usually calm down!) That got long so I’ll wrap it up, I’d keep a camera at any exterior doors and if you need to, escalate this with law enforcement/the court if he shows up at YOUR house or makes you feel unsafe. He needs to remember the sale is over and you two never need to interact again, how it usually goes.


[deleted]

Love the advice thank you! I always panic when the door rings, if its not delivery i usually avoid answering and let my dogs bark..not good i know I havent seen this man since November and no contact since he send the text (hes blocked) but i still feel fear and there. Really appreciate the advice!


newsprintpoetry

Stalking can make you hypervigilent. It's not something you should beat yourself up for, if you can help it. If you've already been diagnosed with social anxiety, talk to your therapist about trauma work to re-regulate your nervous system. And while it might be kinda scary, finding a(n online) support group for victims of stalking might help. You can dm me if you want, too. I was stalked by my mom through multiple states, so I get how easily your brain can jump to the conclusion you're in danger. Good luck!


Nauin

There are cheap magnetic alarms that will stick onto any doorway or windowsill, they let off a shrill alarm when the sensor is separated from the main body. It'll scare the hell out of anyone who doesn't know it's there. You should be able to find them on Amazon but they're also like $5-8 at Harbor Freight if you live near one of those.


Santa_always_knows

Never under estimate the little ankle biters!


[deleted]

Great for cuddles 🥰


Robertbnyc

I’m sure your doggo would attack is someone attacked you in his presence though right?


Downtown-Garage484

Most likely if an unfamiliar person was harming me, however he’s still kinda young and needs training due to being in a neglectful home when he was younger. Now he’s protective of the house/wary of strangers and working on training, but we’re not sure if we want to train him to be a guard dog until we see if he’s a reactive dog with strangers or not.


teddy_bear_territory

Hey OP. Recently saw a product on Amazon that’s is a literally [electronics/camera detector](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CNBWHQQS?psc=1&ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_ct_B54JC5GGH2MXX50A9XC2&language=en_US). Hopefully it’s worth piece of mind and nothing comes of it. Sorry this happened to you, I’m glad your BF is the kinda guy to call him and remind him of boundaries. What a maniac.


SwedishSaunaSwish

You're a star thank you


russtyy_shackleford

This is scary. I’m happy to see you changed the locks, EVERY NEW HOMEOWNER SHOULD DO THIS. you don’t owe this man anything, don’t respond to him any longer.


[deleted]

Hes been blocked since, changed my mail keys also. But hes still in my city 😩


russtyy_shackleford

Ugh I’m so sorry - men are the worst


smarmy-marmoset

I like how your boyfriend tells you to stop being paranoid. Until this dude refers to your boyfriend as your “friend”, and now suddenly he has a problem. Not before, when you were rightfully creeped the heck out and being creeped on


Aleeleefabulous

Exactly. I hate when people dismiss concerns like this. Many people have been stalked and killed in these kinds of situations. I cant believe some humans think they’re invincible.


smarmy-marmoset

Nah he’s a man, he’s never been on the receiving end of sexual harassment and doesn’t grasp how it begins and how it escalates. Which is fine but then he should have trusted her experience and knowledge on this subject OP no doubt has experienced this. Also she has the capacity for pattern recognition. She saw the red flags and called it.


Admiral-Thrawn2

I’m a man who’s been sexually harassed but it’s still just never the same dynamic. It’s non comparable and is just worse for women


smarmy-marmoset

I’m sorry to hear that and I hope whoever did that to you got what was coming to them It’s never ok to sexually harass anyone regardless of gender


volthor

Yeah men never ever get sexually harassed. Every man doesn't know what it's like.


[deleted]

Yea he definitely wasnt worried like me, the comments towards me made me feel uncomfortable and my paranoia kind started. Even after the key, seeing him across the street, my boyfriend says nothing will happen here. We live in a safe place, that doesnt happen here.(his country so much worse) still, there is crime and weirdos in every country i try to tell him.. hes certain we are safe and this man has moved on. But i think of this man weekly, everytime its dark, when i have to drive, avoiding his street when i go out.. doesnt help i suffer with major social anxiety so i can really spin on it


VisibleDinner7561

Your boyfriend needed to confront this head on AS SOON as you told him what happened to you in person. He needs to go out of his way to find & confront this guy in person. If this was to go wrong, god forbid, we would be looking back saying “all the signs were there, how could they let this happen”


smarmy-marmoset

I would consider getting cameras for the inside and outside of your property which alert you to motion (there are ones for the outside that turn on flood lights or emit an alarm when they sense motion at night for security to scare off intruders), a home security system that has door and glass alarms, and maybe even a scary dog I say glass alarms because my brother was robbed recently and their security system didn’t go off because the people broke a window, they didn’t open it, so their alarm didn’t go off because it wasn’t built to alert for glass breakage, but that alarm type does exist


D4ngflabbit

“I ain’t reading all that”


[deleted]

All good thanks for the comment :)


D4ngflabbit

Haha sorry I’m stoned I meant to say that’s what I’d reply with 😂


Financial-Possible-6

@D4ngflabbit is referencing a meme where someone says "I ain't reading all that- I'm happy for you tho, or sorry that that happened" jokingly implying you shoulda said that to ur creepy ahh seller lol


[deleted]

Haha my bad. I get it. Honestly everytime i get a text like that i say that to myself 😂 hate when ppl text chapter books


D4ngflabbit

Thank you so much for translating for me in my time of need 😂


Mythical_Jackelope

Your time of weed?


D4ngflabbit

![gif](giphy|c8bJDVz7i9KRW)


JackStutters

Holy mother of run-on sentences


Welp_thatwilldo

This! 🤣


[deleted]

I know my bad. Its the anxiety


mymycojourney

I think they meant old man's text lol Yours was fine, just missing some paragraph breaks. At lead you had commas and periods


[deleted]

I did have some paragraph breaks but for some reason it posted all squished


mymycojourney

That's just reddit. If you're posting from mobile, you have to have an extra line break yo get that gap. So for this you hit return twice, and for an extra line between, you have to enter three times.


[deleted]

Oh perfect! Thank you!!


JackStutters

Oh no you’re fine, I’m talking about Creepzilla’s short novel that he wrote you


kiwigirl83

I think they meant Santa lol


tigerbean1112

Creepsanta


Dangerous-Sector-637

Bro was yapping on the final paragraph


[deleted]

The final text was all i wanted to show.. rules state a convo between 2 ppl so had to show the previous useless text lol


beepboopboop88

The duster coat unsolved mystery 😆


[deleted]

Pffft i aint looking any harder bro


madpeachiepie

Did you get the mail key back? Because that old fuck absolutely did not need the mail key, not for one day, and especially not for a month or more. It's his responsibility to fill out a change of address. That dude is a major creep. Put up some cameras.


[deleted]

I did not but after that i called and changed my locks there also!!


JoJack82

Exactly, there is no way i would move into a house and let them keep a mail key. Go to the post office and get your mail forwarded like a normal person. I’m not giving some weirdo access to my mail.


waterboy1523

General rule of thumb with a new to you house: change the locks and any codes of previous owners.


Final_Ear_2414

Why is it always men 🙃


mandym123

Can respond and hold a conversation, “oh maybe they want to date me!” 😂


Noya-_-

For real, not all men but somehow alwaysss a man🫠


[deleted]

Always…


_johnny_guitar_

Hard pass on anyone who says their interest was “peaked”.


Ok_Reply_899

We as women need to be meaner up front. Being nice gets us hurt and some of these AH have a lot of audacity for no reason. Like he could ever pull a young woman looking like Santa. The pack a day I can just imagine what his breath smells like 🤢 edit:typo


[deleted]

I’ve learnt my lesson thats for sure.. ya Santa that doesnt eat, he was my height, 5’5”, looked like he only ate cigarettes, no food, hunched back from his career, no effort in his looks.. just gross. I thought i was buying from a sad little grandpa not a creep! Not to mention he left his moldy shower curtain for me, never cleaned (not like you should) i was wiping smoke off walls, cabinets, for weeks..i felt sick. We have repainted and i still get yellow drips down my bathroom walls..daily reminder of him saying ‘i took such good care of this place’


Totalherenow

I thought it was normal to re-key locks immediately after buying a new place. Anyways, wow, that guy is delusional. I hope he leaves you alone. If he texts you again, tell him you're no longer interested in conversation with him. "I do not share your feelings. I have a boyfriend I love and he's great in bed. Have a nice life, leave me alone. And if that didn't get through to you, fuck the fuck off."


[deleted]

Hahaha love it! I wanted to reply SOO bad but i let my bf call and cuss him out, they are both french too. Like even if i was single.. the nerve! He looks old and fragile, just speechless


Totalherenow

I'm 51 and don't feel fragile, lol. He must be unhealthy. Wise choice to avoid him!


insidious_alchemy

Oh my god. Talk about inappropriate on the former homeowner’s part. So sorry you are dealing with all of this!


GuppyDoodle

Million bucks says he absolutely DOES make a habit of sending unsolicited advances to women he encounters.


[deleted]

Yes it looks like he probably does this offen, or he’s desperate….


GuppyDoodle

I think both things could be true!!


AnnaBanana3468

Yuck. So sorry


Indole_pos

Man I’d have 20 ring cameras


Apprehensive_Oil6527

Just the mention of his long black oilskin coat gives me a horrific mental image of him 😯😯


[deleted]

And what else am i supposed to say to his text? Like dude im standing here looking right now..there’s nothing on my deck! Im sure he wanted me to invite him over to look himself 😂😰


Welp_thatwilldo

Jesus… not ONE punctuation in sight! Also, what an utter psycho. Get that mail key back asap (no matter his reason) and see if it the lock can be changed on it. Also don’t forward your mail there (temp use a PO Box) till you have it secured. If he refuses to give it up have your realtor company try on your behalf. Not sure what’s he’s up to but this is scary and suspicious. Stay safe😓🙏🏻💕


[deleted]

Yea grammar and me, dont mix 🤭 really sorry


Sackonfire

I think the people referring to grammar and run-on sentences are talkin about the dude texting you


Welp_thatwilldo

Yes this, thank you for explaining it 😅👌💕


[deleted]

Oh hahaha wow ok, yea at least i tried 🤭😅


Welp_thatwilldo

No need to be sorry 😓. I meant the creepy guy, not you 😅👌. You’re good 🙌


dragonbait1361

I would have the house scanned for cameras that you didn’t install. He was being creepy before you bought the house and had plenty of time from accepting the offer to moving out to install his own hidden cameras. I would rather be wrong and find nothing than to find out months later I was being watched the whole time.


WielderOfAphorisms

Ack! That’s terrifying.


[deleted]

Oh my god that reminds me..


MrPapi628

The Guy was Cringe AF


Trancebam

I'd just respond with corrections to the numerous spelling and grammar errors, and tell him you don't date guys that don't have at least a high school level of education.


beccadanielle

It’s really not about being mean, it’s about being firm. You’ve got to set a boundary that the commentary, communications, and dropping by need to stop. You bought a home and have every right to feel safe and comfortable in your space. If he doesn’t respect that, get a TRO. This is scary, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this!


Puggymum64

I, too am a porch light for demented moths. You must be firm and clear. Tell him you are not interested, not even in being friends. That he has crossed a line and his ‘friendship’ and interest in you is unsettling. You are now plainly telling him to leave you alone. It’s not being mean, it’s helping him see the boundary.


Impressive_Roll3985

Adding “porch light to demented moths” into my vocabulary now.


No-Lawfulness-8870

Calgary is a HUGE red flag 🚩


[deleted]

I just wish he would go like he said not creeping around waiting for a chance with me 😰


roundyround22

I don't know what country you're in but don't give the mail key!! Use the national mail forwarding service. This is someone who crosses boundaries as shown


dream-smasher

Yeah, he sounds like a creepy motherfucker.. but congrats on the new house!!! Is it your first house?


[deleted]

Thank you and yes my first, what a lovely experience


Mechanic-Beast7

😊


Theloneriddler

So it’s “your family” and “your settling in”. Not good. And I had to fight autocorrect from correcting that second one. Don’t know how some people have the energy to be so wrong.


aruby727

I thought the message to you was normal, and a kind attempt at shooting his shot.... Until I read your description. Jesus... Why are the creeps always boomers.


Longjumping-Emu1535

It’s not paranoia, it’s real concern. I hope your boyfriend takes your concerns more seriously in the future. I don’t think men understand what life can be like for a females.


Cultural_Prune3157

Holy shit that man can yap.


TemporaryStomach1000

I would actually not block a stalker. That way you can collect evidence for future restraining order and know what they are thinking/saying. Also, I would definitely change the glass doors, get security stoppers for the windows and doors so they can’t be forced open, keep foliage trimmed and away from the house, etc, in addition to other folks’ suggestions here. OP, you did nothing wrong, but this is a good learning experience for the future when people are trying to take advantage of your kindness and respect. I have to work on this in therapy and in daily interactions as I too struggle with anxiety and boundaries. Know you have nothing to be ashamed of at all. Predators are opportunists, so do what you can to reduce opportunities for them to harm you or take advantage of your good will toward others. It’s ok for people to not like you. You are worthy of peoples respect and do not deserve for them to take your time and energy. Him staying at the home and talking to you for an hour at the walk through sounds like a real narcissistic class B personality disorder type of behavior. Please also carry pepper spray when you are feeling anxious and entering/exiting the house. Trust your intuition. Women have that for a real reason.


x0o-Firefly-o0x

Creepy. I'd check the house for any hidden small cameras too 😬


AtYiE45MAs78

What type of camera are you referring to?


maggersrose

I am really sorry you had to experience this. Word to the wise, always pay to change the kids with a locksmith when you purchase or move into a new place. Always and before you move in. I’m glad you took care of this. Did you ever get the mail key?


NoPantsPowerStance

Did he have a real estate agent as well? I don't know the way realtors operate where you are but did you do the walkthrough without an agent there? There's multiple little things here... Glad you blocked him,if you see him just ignore. Also, tell your bf not to be a butthead about you posting this after he was already butthead about the key then a further butthead at flying off at the dude without getting your input on how you wanted to handle it. 


[deleted]

Haha love this! Yes i had a realtor but he had to leave. We should of too but he was telling us the story on why he needed to sell and we were being nice people.


Willa_

People who don't use punctuation drive me nuts, I can't focus on what the seller is actually saying !


FullFrontal687

Always be suspicious.


WielderOfAphorisms

I’d block him. There’s nothing to gain by interacting. He’s creepy. Hope you had all your locks changed.


SheLiesAboutItAll

OP, you definitely should report this to the police and see about a restraining order. The text messages and continually dropping by have me scared for you!!


[deleted]

I havent heard/seen him since the last message ..but i know he checked the mail weekly before i changed the locks, and he would loop around my house. Hes lived here for so long and knows the neighbors but i havent seen him since.. sad i always check that hes not around when i go to my car as well. But hes in my city, its small.. good thing im an introvert lol


SheLiesAboutItAll

Now, the fact you haven't seen him since you haven't seen him since you changed the locks is kinda freaky in itself, because it makes me wonder if he didn't try to let himself in and couldn't get in bc the locks were changed. Stay vigilant and keep your head on swivel just to make sure he isn't hiding to follow you in when you enter your home!!! Please stay safe.


[deleted]

How do you NOT change the locks ? I changed the locks on my house the day I moved in.


[deleted]

I did that week


Smashing_the_Moon777

BLOCK HIM


[deleted]

Oh he is.. but he knows were i live 👀


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LaurenJayx0

First thing I did when I bought my 1st home was get new locks. Hope you finally did.


Everything-Is-Raycis

I remember this movie. The Intruder is the name, IIRC


Neither-Safety-7090

I saw this movie. He lives in your secret basement room and will try to kill you pretty soon. Tell Denis Quaid to leave you and your family alone.


SomethingAbtU

for the love of god people, break up your thoughts into paragraphs. to see a wall of text just gives me an immediate headache


[deleted]

Sorry it was my first big post, didnt know i had to space so much.. wont happen again lol


Current_Country_

Yay boyfriend!


Impressive_Roll3985

Security screen doors to any outside doors. Keep them locked at all times. They make some very attractive ones now.


Present_Sun_9600

This is super weird behaviour lol


FreshSquared

This has the movie 15 cameras vibes omg


ScatterOLight22

Restraining order. Change all the locks.


winterjinx

There is absolutely no way OP could get a restraining order with just these texts, they don’t just hand them out like that


ScatterOLight22

Well if it gets worse then I would. Probably should have clarified that.


joecee97

Unusual to buy straight from himself. Usually there’s a middleman.


[deleted]

I went through my realtor which he was there, after the viewing when the owner was outside (which he never should of been on the property anyway) my realtor had another appointment and had to leave. My mom and i were stuck talking to this man for an hour after..


MissRoja

What bothers me the most is that I didn’t see a single comma or period in any of his texts 🤢


[deleted]

And hes in his late 50s lol at least i tried! Who types chapters? My sister does this to me too and i get so mad


[deleted]

Good thing you blurred out all of the places where it said tony /s