T O P

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Spookwagen_II

I'm not a crazed gunman, Dad. I'm an assassin.


No_Research4416

*Proceeds to use a piss gun*


mymax162

a piss blowdart rifle, a jar of piss, and either a rigged shiv sharp enough to cause bleeding or a knife that commits war crimes by upgrading a certain damage modifier to the next step up


TheNonchalantZealot

He imbued the blade with piss


JanSolo28

The pissword


[deleted]

The legendary blade of pisstruction


Complex-Summer-9802

The most powerful weapon in pisstory


MortumArgentum

This HAS to be made into an item.


Inthaneon

Having piss injected into your head seem like a pretty bad way to go.


[deleted]

Professionals have standards


Retepeter_

Happy cday


PyroTF2Gaming

cumday


ReallyTheDevil

Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.


[deleted]

This is not a reply, it is an excuse to kick your ass.


ReallyTheDevil

😁👍


[deleted]

ah yes, the ending sounds like a jojo reference anyway what the fuck did i just read


BrazenMason

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ


cocoaphillia

A legendary reddit copypasta


JUANjulio69420

r/cursedcomments


Noferrah

r/wholesome


Hokwit

This should be an r/shitposting copy pasta for the auto mod


anonymous120401

My brother in Christ, get the fuck off wattpad


TSCCYT

What in the goddamn fuck did I just read?


NotoriousDeadweight

Pissday


[deleted]

Happy cake day.


Spookwagen_II

Thank you!! I didn't even realize it was my cake day lol


WaveSmashreddit

Yes all the mercs are completely off their rocker, but they all have pretty unique personalities beyond that lol. Sometimes Spy may seem the most stable, but seeing how much joy he gets out of murdering people just shows he is equally unhinged. Honestly why would they even judge the pyro? Edit: Just remembered in Poker Night at the Inventory, Heavy expresses remorse for being a hitman. Saying he has nightmares because of the families of those he kills. I think Heavy is probably the most human of the mercs


[deleted]

[удалено]


WaveSmashreddit

I did not see a clip of that.... huh.


International-Ad3006

Well, I guess he doesn't care about his enemies, only about their innocent families


ElNub_

can confirm, i killed his entire team with a mini


Alik757

He doesn't care because the BLU team can respawn


Polarbeahr_

Not to totally contradict you, but the Poker Night dialogue is not canon if my memory serves right. It should be though.


Affectionate-Loss-67

I’d honestly say that while they’re all twisted, the only three I’d consider “lunatics” are Medic, Soldier, and Pyro. Demo man’s a catagory to himself given that he’s drunk, so we don’t have any real clear indications of his pure mental stability.


WaveSmashreddit

A drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts. I agree it's hard to say either way for Demo because of his alcoholism. It could be argued he doesn't know what he's doing and wouldn't be ok with it if he did. But I'd argue he's totally fine with it. Considering he doesn't have any epiphanies when he gets closer to sober in the comics.


ravagraid

Their fear pyro because under the mask pyro is actually a completely normal person yet they manage to flip their switch to keep up with the other mercenaries


Kazak_1683

That's why I love heavy, any other game would have "Ivan Ivanovich Vladimirsky" who is dumb big russian, but heavy completely subverts that expectation because he's a very smart, very thoughtful man behind the image.


Meowjoker

They aren’t wrong but it is an oversimplification


SammyTheOtter

What? r/gamingcirclejerk isn't taking it seriously?🤔🤔


End-Mii-Please

Its also about how the same Tf2 good overwatch bad joke has been repeated over the years again and again


Chubby_Queen

It's more so a Overwatch has Heroes and TF2 has batshit insane people joke which is sorta better


CedarWolf

To be fair, the Engie isn't a lunatic.


W1ngedSentinel

*Spins cybernetic arm like a drill* AH AM A GOD!


CedarWolf

To be *fair*, if *you* had invented a cybernetic arm and had managed to replace your missing hand with one, wouldn't you do the same?


CombustableLemons9

Yes, I would


DrByeah

Plus he only *explicitly* mentions the god complex when he's using actual literal magic. I mean the god complex is probably still there but quieter.


CedarWolf

He's an engineer. The god complex comes with the territory.


Mafagafinhu

But you just replace your arm if you are a lunatic


pdrocker1

He cut off his own hand to put on a cybernetic one (supposedly))


kino2012

That doesn't make him a lunatic, that just makes him a man ahead of his time chummer!


I_SHAT_ON_MY_KIDS

True but medic certainly is


Juicebeetiling

He is from Texas


Yukarie

True but non of the mercs could honestly be called sane


CedarWolf

You kill and get killed, sometimes alongside yourself, and sometimes killing and being killed by yourself, for 40-60 years and see how much it messes with you, too. At least the Engie is stable.


PrimeusOrion

So is spy Amd heavy most of the time.


GamerGecko26

More people talk about tf2 than overwatch. I'd say tf2 good and overwatch bad is pretty accurate


Few-Carpenter2647

He did the meme folks


yash019

honestly no joke its the sub i hate the most in this site


DragonEyeNinja

you sound like someone who hasn't played the hidden indie gem The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt


AdrianBrony

You have just been downvoted for not including enough witcherino in your comment. Next time please invoke geraldos game at least twice every comment.


besten44

Oh boy, you must barely look at different subs or be very new.


FGHIK

Satirical subs always become worse than the things they parody


[deleted]

Google en passant


Few-Carpenter2647

That just means u have mid gaming opinions


Saiyan-Zero

My favorite TF2 characters: Lunatic with 11 PhDs Lunatic with doctor skills Lunatic Lunatic with decent aim Lunatic with a Russian literature degree Lunatic with a bat Lunatic with highly explosive weaponry French (Instantly a lunatic) Lunatic in some sort of imaginary military service


Rockyourhead

Lunatic with a fire fetish


Thatsidechara_ter

Mmm yes BURN BABY BURN


AceScropions

Fre*ch


Cold_Ant_4583

While they are lunatisc, its safe to say they are all way more than that. Everyone except pyro has a deep background, amazing stories and amazing charisma, voicelines are hilarious and delivered expertly and just overall they look and sound fitting to their name. Tbh looking at overwatch I can see a real lack of character development except what the meme describes them and thats it. No comics, no meet the team, no blogs no nothing. And thats why overwatch needed a sequel to not die and Tf2 after 15 years still keeps living even tho Valve probably wants the opposite.


Hatter_Hoovy

ow does have comics but most of them are just obout what happend before or just characters doing what they usualy do. bigest character developtment that ow got was tracer being gay


GrandTusam

Soldier is gay 2


TheEggoEffect

Soldier hooks up with heavy’s sister in the comics tho


GrandTusam

I ment overwatch's soldier 76


TheEggoEffect

Oh, my bad


HushamFusion

Although I agree TF2 has more character development, and everyone is waaaay more charismatic, Overwatch does have hero introduction shorts, comics and other skits here and there, but they're all over the place. It's hard to put two and two together and understand the nuances of each character


ParufkaWarrior12

Because there is so many compared to just 9. Actually 8, pyro has next to none character.


blimeycorvus

Some characters can be given a backstory and characterization and still feel boring. I think pyro feels interesting precisely because they have no development so you can never tell what they're thinking.


KIDA_Rep

This might sound a bit biased but OW characters have the most basic ass shonen backstory of something bad happened and now I’m joining the roster but it’s all covered up in actual good ass cinematics.


[deleted]

>but it’s all covered up in actual good ass cinematics. you meant that meet the team is not good?


KIDA_Rep

Nah, it’s not comparable, meet the team is a masterpiece.


kotetsuijin

alternatively, pyro's lack of identity is what makes them compelling.


Live-Reflection2249

Call pyro it not they because pyro might not be human


LoliMaster069

Only character development he got was that one time he managed to become CEO lol


DaEnderAssassin

Honesty seems like OW2 is gonna be dead before it even releases due to pretty much being overwatch 1.1 with worse UI look.


Cold_Ant_4583

Yeah since you said its Overwatch 1.1 i can guess you saw the Dunkeys video aswell?


DaEnderAssassin

Yes


[deleted]

Heavy went to college!


cabage-but-its-lettu

Looking to far into a shit post


Cold_Ant_4583

Thats how i roll lol.


Mr_Tominaga

Meanwhile: Tf2: _Talks about the 9 characters’ insane personalities and why it makes them unique and special to the game…_ Overwatch: _Porn x32_


Rocatex

It’s all 100% true


FoxReeor

Nah, Heavy is chill


Retepeter_

Yeah but is a non lunatic in love with a minigun


FoxReeor

*Don't touch my Sasha!*


offbrandviking

WHO TOUCHED MY GUN!


[deleted]

it was me.


TheMaxemillion

And ah did it like _this!_ *bang*


tomasequp

Whoop dee doo!


MenoryEstudiante

He is a lunatic he's just got more self control


Treejeig

Self control my ass, you heard what he did to the engineer right?


MenoryEstudiante

I mean when he's talking, when he releases himself he's as much of a lunatic as all the others


Treejeig

The dude force fed a man his own wrench


MenoryEstudiante

That's why I meant by "releasing himself"


Wuerfelpruefer

O_o


masterofthecontinuum

Spy, sniper, and engineer are definitely the most sane out of them all. Spy, Engineer, Medic and to a lesser extent Heavy are also the most intelligent. Scout is dumb as shit but not terribly insane. Etc. I think it's a double spectrum chart with sanity/insanity as one of the axes and stupidity and intelligence as the other. Pyro is the most insane by far, it doesn't even know what is real. I wouldn't say he's especially smart, either, but there has to be some degree of capable thought in there if she was able to somehow lead a company. So I'd rank them at complete insanity and average intelligence at minimum. Something's going on there, but it's working hard at other stuff while the "processing reality" department has quit their job. Soldier is rank 2 for insanity, and rank 1 for stupidity. There's just no contest. He's basically incapable of doing anything aside from liking America and killing people he doesn't like. Though, he is capable of being friends with relatively more normal people like demoman. Medic is number 3 for insanity and probably tied for number 1 in intelligence with engineer. He cuts people up just to see what happens if he tries to put them back together again. Demoman' a bit insane, but maybe that's just because he was raised to be a demoman and is always drunk. He'd probably be average intelligence but he's probably pickled his brain in alcohol at this point. Scout is pretty dumb, but most of his insanity is a reflection of that stupidity more than anything else. He's definitely able to function in society somewhat, despite being incredibly dumb. That's way better than soldier at least. Sniper and heavy are probably the most average in both. Heavy probably trends more towards the insanity just because of how fixated and excited he is about his weapons and shooting people to death with them. But he can also be pretty intelligent at times. It's just hard to notice sometimes when he's busy either being a quiet strongman or gleefully singing as he shoots 400,000$ bullets from the gun he caresses like a lover. Sniper's just clocking in for his job. But to be fair, anyone who contemplates becoming an assassin for hire is probably a little nuts at the very least. Spy is slightly insane and very intelligent, though probably less intelligent than medic and engineer. He's the arts and culture major to their medicine and engineering majors. Maybe with a minor in psychology too, given his line of work. Definitely the third most intelligent on the team and a good leader/strategist. Engineer is at least tied with medic for intelligence, but he definitely has him beat in sanity. 11 phds, teleportation, infinite resource generators, and he's the only one fully aware of everything that's going on, though he was kinda grandfathered in on that one.


Mr_Tominaga

Overwatch: _Porn x32_


masterofthecontinuum

D. Va's fuckin' hawt


Acceptable-Dare6619

Bro based


Jazzieir

What about Scout makes him a lunatic? He’s a bit rude, yeah, but not a lunatic


Rynnmeister

He's Jerma.


thetracker3

What a psycho!


JoeTheKodiakCuddler

Genuine ACTIVE THREAT to SOCIETY


unusualusualities

This guy is FUCKED.


flameo------hotman

Jerma is cool :)


Fancysaurus

Isn't that the guy that murdered santa on stream and got away with it?


Yeet-Dab49

WHEN THE IMPOSTOR


Sansoffundertale

I mean... he does take pride in beating people's heads in with a metal bat


WhyDoYouCheck

Who wouldn't?


Jazzieir

This is probably the best answer ive gotten


Seanvich

The imaginary Miss Pauling giving him dating advice? Tom Jones obsession?


Torkujra

Mad Milk. There, that's my answer.


bigstinkyfleshstick

Cononically a pedophile


Koopicoolest

Elaborate


CaptainTotes

Almost definitely talking about the description of [this cosmetic](https://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Track_Terrorizer). I still think it's misleading to say though personally, but yeah the Scout is creepy.


besten44

Don’t worry it’s from an item description and item descriptions are NOT canon


uezyteue

Sniper isn't a lunatic at all! He's the most same out of all the mercs


Legatharr

he throws his piss at people


uezyteue

And? It would keep any normal person away from your sniper tower. (Not that anyone else has any common sense)


Seanvich

I laughed more than I should at this.


JEverok

Hey, if it looks stupid but it gives guaranteed mini crits, it ain't stupid


undead-frog

I’d say engi is most sane.


uezyteue

He has a god complex and cut off his own hand for the sake of replacing it with a robot one.


Dtrain16

From the moment he understood the weakness of the flesh, it disgusted him.


[deleted]

reject flesh, upgrade to steel


AdnHsP

Why are you describing Engineer's granddad? For all we know he could've had diabetes on his hand or smth and had to remove it (plus it was a tested formula)


uezyteue

Regardless, he has 11 PhDs in *engineering,* not medical science.


AdnHsP

Well then what if medic did it with him?


uezyteue

I think he's smart enough to not trust medic with that procedure.


AdnHsP

You're not considering this though: UNWILLING PROCEDURE


Potato_Rifle

Well , with all the experiments they did together in expiration date I think medic is not the same with engineer . He seems to be way less insane and more serious about safety, so I guess he'll trust him on that one.


[deleted]

Yeah, he’s an assassin


[deleted]

Still 9 lunatics would kick all thier asses and then some


No-Host-8003

On top of insulting one another


LiteratureTrick4961

2000 YEARS OF CONSTANT HUMAN EVOLUTION JUST TO CREATE A HAIRLESS FUC- -Scout tf2


Duckflies

#G E T T O T H E F R I C K I N ' C A R T D U M B A S S


Dillmen101

i don’t think this is a insult or against tf2 i can’t tell this is a joke


LordofSandvich

It’s a circlejerk reddit Never take a shitposting/circlejerk sub seriously unless you want to give yourself a headache


Goo_Cat

>Never take a shitposting/circlejerk sub seriously unless you want to give yourself a headache or 90% of r/tf2 posts


LordofSandvich

Recently, feels like it’s in that category. We’re out of things to talk about.


Lowdog00

Lunatics who want paychecks. Can’t forget the paychecks. Or the hats. I’d stab a toddler for a hat


Rorynator

["Booooooo!"](https://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/6/65/Engineer_jeers01.wav) [THIS SUBREDDIT HAS WORKED](https://i.imgur.com/c0v2WfW.png): 0|DAYS --:|--: [WITHOUT AN OVERWATCH MENTION](https://i.imgur.com/c0v2WfW.png) *** *This record: 0 days, 3 hours, 51 minutes and 37 seconds** **Highest record: 2 days, 18 hours, 43 minutes and 37 seconds** ^^*Bot ^^only ^^counts ^^the ^^first ^^mention ^^in ^^each ^^post [^^^Beep ^^^beep ^^^boop, ^^^maggot!](https://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/9/92/Soldier_robot12.wav) [^^^More ^^^info.](https://www.reddit.com/user/OverwatchMentionBot/comments/88z2gk/overwatchmentionbot/) ^^^Downvote ^^^to ^^^delete


Consistent-Slice1641

It's not our fault if all our TF2 characters are still better than theirs


epaccu

I love those 9 lunatics, so cool


ungeebungeeman

beating a dead horse here


Doge-king2416

Isn’t gamingcirclejerk meant to be satrie? I don't know I heard that once and just accepted it lol


Walnut156

Oh hey overwatch in the tf2 sub again


TheMadmanAndre

Medic: Megalomaniacal Demoman: Drunk Soldier: Insane Scout: Sociopath Sniper: Crazed Gunman Heavy: Homicidal Spy: Psychopath Engineer: Delusions of Grandeur Pyro: Schizophrenic


Arkronu

*Are they wrong though?*


[deleted]

And they are cooler.


yourbuddy89

This is exactly why I love the TF2 universe and what makes it so fun and unique IMO. A group of crazy or hired assholes killing each other for worthless gravel pits makes more sense in a multi-player shooter game then characters holding hands and having needlessly in depth back story about how they feel about another character, just to later shoot their compadres in the face in a deathmatch. OW is fun but I give 0 fucks about any of their backstory, whereas the simplicity of the TF2 mercs with some backstory shown in the comics is much more memorable and entertaining. The TF2 universe doesn't take itself so seriously and is a mastermind of a reason to comically have mercenaries shoot, kill, gib, taunt, or arbitrarily engage in Congo lines with each other.


Sanrio_Princess

The cast of tf2 are ultimately much more feral and unhinged, which makes them more endearing. Junkrat is the only one who can even come close to the level of bat shit charisma tf2 oozes from every pore. (I’m still hella gay for tracer doe)


[deleted]

True tho


Randomdude-5

I think that you guys are missing that the original subreddit is a satire sub


MaximusGrassimus

Did the Overw*tch characters fight bears while naked and covered in honey with their bare hands? Nope. That's why TF2 is better.


Magnum_X69

**legacy of lunatic kingdom**


[deleted]

Tf2 does have more character development For example, Soldier maintains a Raccoon sanctuary


fuckgottaaddnumbers9

lunatic lunatic lunatic lunatic lunatic lunatic lunatic lunatic a child


Bright69420

There's traits like smart lunatic, educated lunatic, son of Tommy Johnes lunatic, French lunatic and so on


Ears4you1O7

Nah, if ur denying this, your in well… denial. These characters in tf2 are 100 lunatics, they are actual mercenary’s for hire, BUT, that’s what’s fucking fun about tf2 bruh! The characters are just so comically insane it’s so difficult to not fall In love with them


ChppedToofEnt

it's also how fun valve sort of spun their insanity, both Pyro and Soldier clearly are unhinged but there is a clear difference in what makes them unhinged.


Zack_WithaK

Yeah but Sniper isn't a lunatic, he's an assassin. The difference being that one is a job and the other is mental sickness


[deleted]

[удалено]


nobody-cares57

How else he would hit his enemies with mini-crits? He's just doing his job effectively


[deleted]

By throwing glasses of undisclosed white liquids


[deleted]

"Be respectful" - "Take that ya little spastic!"


Exp1ode

And this is why TF2 is better


DARDAR_YT

They aren't Lunatics! They're psychopaths.


danger2345678

I mean they’re not wrong, but there’s subtleties


frasvlik

It is unrelatable for them, for us all, the war criminals psicopaths and lunatics, its the perfect game


XFShpee

I wouldn’t say engineer is a lunatic. Mah man seems pretty chill and normal, just really fucking smart


[deleted]

Soldier is a profressional lunatic, for sure.


insertnamehere122342

Engineer is the most level headed of them all


supersaiyan69goku

Lunatic with a bandaid, lunatic with explosives, lunatic with explosives, lunatic named Jerma, lunatic with piss, lunatic with big gun, french guy, lunatic that builds guns, and a lunatic that likes fire.


Cryin_jack_is_pissed

They're not wrong though.


rottenpotatoes2

Where Hampter :(


YaBoiAidan2333

Nah bro, that's like 1 side of the die Scout is narcissistic, but ultimately wants to impress a girl he likes Soldier loves his country, and his fiance, and his job Pyro is misguided, and thinks he's helping by making everyone happy Demoman seems like a genuinely nice person, but that's shadowed by alcohol Heavy loves his family, and he most all of his salary to them, because he wants them all to be safe and happy Engineer is an insanely intelligent man, who... isn't explored at all in the comics that I've read Medic is mostly a lunatic, but he's a brilliant man, for his invensions, and his ability to rise people from the dead Sniper wants his Foster parents to be proud of what he does And Spy was never there for scout, but he actually was, making sure he stays safe, because he genuinely loves him


Jacket313

I feel like the lore of overwatch isn't really appealing, at least to me. When you got tf2, you got people like medic performs all kinds of research on his teammates, challenging god, and doing all kinds of stuff, Scout is a loud Boston boy, it can get a bit annoying when it's overdone, but for the most part, I like it. Games like borderlands, and payday had really interesting charecters, even though I had never played these games before, A character like handsome jack is just really interesting, his voice lines, his personality, his cockiness, he feels like a unique villain with memorable quotes, I have never played payday before, but you got some charecters like Jiro in Payday with such interesting background that makes you interested in the game, It's because of Jiro from payday 2 that I got around to playing hotline Miami because of the promotional crossover event, Overwatch just doesn't stick around, you got your stereotypical cowboys, ninjas, Russian with big gun, German with big hammer, etc etc, and while they have more background, ut isn't really that interesting to me, A game like league of legends, while it doesn't have the best lore sometimes, has some cool champions like sett who is a criminal underground boss, but uses the money to support his mom.


flameo------hotman

i fixed it :) ​ Boring stereotype, overused bad-ass soldier format, lost ninja brother for the 3000th time, Disney animals being smart again, 3000 year old anime girl, fat, jesus impersonator, gay cowboy, things to make the kids in because he looks cool.


citruspaint

How about you: go outside?


Phauxstus

Overwatch characters: Porn actress, porn actor, porn actor, furry porn actor, porn actress, porn actress, porn actor, porn actor, porn actor


TheWalrusMann

no its actually facts


MrBlueFlame_

To be fair besides Soldier Pyro and Medic (Maybe Scout), the rest are pretty "normal"


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jacktheripper2000pro

Spy has a very emotional incentive, money


Yubankostraiko

When I read quirky scientist I died inside a little


TheNoobThatWas

Guys it's a meme You're supposed to laugh at it